


To the Rescue [Part: 2]

by strykelass



Series: To The Rescue [2]
Category: Professional Wrestling, World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Alternate Universe - Lifeguards, M/M, Multi, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-24
Updated: 2018-12-11
Packaged: 2019-02-19 20:05:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 40
Words: 254,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13131162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strykelass/pseuds/strykelass
Summary: After a bad breakup, Seth Rollins leaves the midwest to lifeguard for an aquatics facility in Orlando and restart his life. After everything he's been through, does he have what it takes to dive into love again? PART 2 OF THE ONGOING SERIES.





	1. Simmer and Settle [Part:1]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seth makes himself at home and receives some interesting news. [Part 1 of 2]

"Was there anything else you wanted to know?" Dr. Del Rey asked, leaning back on the wall of the gym with her arms crossed. 

"No, I think I'm good!" Seth beamed, touching his knee. After another productive session with some time on the Ski Erg and the STIM, he was feeling the nice haze of a workout settling on his brain. Dr. Del Rey nodded and Seth got to his feet, feeling confident placing weight on his leg again. 

It was more good news. He'd been cleared to drive, and although he'd driven to the appointment  himself, he was feeling better now that a doctor had approved him to do so. The nagging weight of his throat from being ill weeks ago had finally ebbed. It was a very warm day and he had the rest of his hours of sunlight to run errands and get himself fully integrated into the house he'd finally moved into. 

It wasn't as though he was living out of boxes, but he knew Dean and Roman were getting tired of tripping over the ones in the garage. Both men were working that day and Seth wanted to surprise them with some good food.

"Your friend made an appointment to come in soon too," Dr. Del Rey mentioned, sliding something to the receptionist and waving to a woman in the lobby. "The Swiss guy."

"Oh, Cesaro?" Seth smiled. "That's great! I told him you could help him out. I'm excited, just a few days and he'll be back."

"Yeah, he mentioned something about being out of the country," she said, "Next Sunday then? You've just got a few sessions left and then we'll talk about maybe meeting monthly?" 

"Yeah, for sure, next Sunday." Seth waved, "Thanks a lot doc!"

With a spring in his step, Seth walked through the lobby and out into the sunshine that was bathing the parking lot. The mix of coffee and the good news had him in the sort of manic mood he didn't get to entertain very often. Pulling the sun reflector down and starting his car, he put on some upbeat pop-punk and turned on the air conditioning. The grocery store wasn't very far away and Seth wanted to get some chicken to marinate and put on the grill before Roman and Dean finished work.

It had been just a few days since Seth had turned in his keys and sent a first payment over to Roman's family for rent. He'd already been living there for so long, there really wasn't much of an adjustment, but Seth delighted to see how happy his boyfriends were to have him in the house for good. Even Dean's terrible streak of luck seemed to be affecting him less, now that the three were mercilessly spooning every morning. Seth would wiggle around in the sheets while Roman hummed, kissing his shoulder with his bearded chin. Dean's fingers would fidget around and usually poked at Seth's hip or his back, some weird assurance of  _ Yes, I'm here _ or  _ I'm awake now, why aren't we fucking already?  _

Kevin was perplexed by all the boxes, but was his usual happy-go-lucky self, snorting and sneezing and running laps inside when he got bored. Just the other day, Seth finally introduced him to Peep 2, Junior and Lars. The chickens were getting bigger everyday, and although Crispy was very protective of them, Kevin seemed to understand they were too precious to be rough with.

Seth sighed happily, putting the car in park and heaving himself out of his vehicle at the grocery store. From here on out, it could only get better. He'd start working out regularly again and then, depending on what his physical therapist thought, he might even be able to lifeguard too. Spring break was coming, and Roman had promised them all a caribbean view from a houseboat.

Seth often thought that he struggled to keep a good mood, but aside from his own wobbly knee, he wasn't sure he could really be happier with his life. He took off his sunglasses upon entering the store and hopped to the corral of shopping carts. Just as he was about to push open the child's seat for the eggs and bread he'd purchase, Seth felt his pocket buzz and he took out his phone. 

Jimmy Jacobs had texted him and Seth blinked, feeling his chest shrink and expand strangely, at a loss for what to do. He opened the message and read carefully.

**Hey! I got fired!**

**also, I'm really sorry I wanted to apologize a while back but i wasnt sure how to not sound like a jackass. Was in a shitty spot then n i didnt really know what to do about it, but im doin a lot better now and im bartending and managing some music stuff**

Even as Seth read, more text began to appear.

**If u come back to Iowa sometime ill buy u a beer and i promise not to fuck it up <3 **

"Excuse me," a man mumbled, trying to push past Seth to get a cart. Seth fumbled, tossing his phone in the child's seat and trying his best to stay out of the way. As soon as he was in the produce area he paused. Really, he knew he should probably call Jimmy. Why the hell didn't his friend call him and  _ really _ apologize? Honestly, Seth wasn't that hung up on the whole ordeal, but he was a little annoyed that it had been thrust upon him in such a random way. 

**Its cool thanks man** Seth typed back.  **Im out right now though, I'll ttyl**

It seemed like ages ago that Seth had gone to Davenport for New Years and ended up on the end of Jimmy's drunken loneliness. What Jimmy had done obviously wasn't cool, Seth wasn't going to forget that Jimmy had actually asked him if he  _ still  _ cheated on his boyfriends. But he'd known Jimmy for a long time and he didn't want something this stupid pushing them apart. Other than Marek, Seth hadn't stayed in contact with a lot of his high school crowd, and he felt his connections to his hometown vanishing.

_ Fired _ , Seth thought, trying to think what could have happened with the old community center pool that had put Jimmy out of work. He paced around the fruit, thinking hard as he pondered a bunch of bananas. 

Jimmy really only texted him to talk about the firing probably, but Seth could figure it out later. He had a list of things he wanted to buy on his phone and didn't want to forget anything. Though he didn't cook often, Seth had thought to write down his mother's recipe for her chicken marinade. Roman had a spice rack with every damn flavor possible, but for this meal, Seth definitely wanted the freshest ingredients possible. 

Lapping the store with a full cart, his pocket buzzed again and Seth saw his mother had also texted him a quick message. 

**Did you get anything from the hospital yet?**

**-mom**

Seth hummed, standing in line for the cashier and thinking of his response. The stack of mail from his old apartment was sitting on the kitchen island at home. He hadn't thought to look through it yet because he was sure most of it was just junk anyway. Instead of texting, he ended up just pocketing his phone and leaning onto his cart, huffing a sigh. 

Heading home with a car full of groceries, Seth rolled his eyes when his device ended up buzzing a third time, interrupting a song by  _ A Day to Remember _ he was playing through his aux cord. At a red light, Seth glanced at the screen, anticipating some other random message. Instead he half grinned, seeing a hastily taken photo of Roman sitting at one of the picnic benches outside of White Water, eating a sandwich and waving. There wasn't any text, it was just a cryptic poking from Dean. 

**Going to clean a little and make dinner :)** Seth responded.  **ETA?**

**Uce gets off in n hour or so i dont get off till 5:30** Dean replied. Roman added a picture of Dean texting on his phone to the group chat. Seth posted a smirking emoji.

Bringing the groceries inside wasn't too fun with a sensitive knee, but the hardest part was just keeping Kevin in the house as Seth held open the door, hoisting the paper bags onto the entryway. The little dog barked and Seth shushed him, scooting the bags across the tile floor and making his way inside. Curiously, he went to the mail on the kitchen island as soon as the groceries were all indoors, and Seth wiggled his nose, examining three thin envelopes from the Orlando Hospital. 

Perhaps, due to his luck, Seth opened the least inviting one first and felt his stomach turn. At the top was an angry red number, an outstanding balance. The body of the letter described the additional notices in his hand and a final due date to make a preliminary payment. 

Seth felt his fingers tremble, staring at the number. He hadn't seen it before and he was sure his grandfather had been CC'd on all the information pertaining to his surgery. Was this going to ruin his credit or something?

He began to put away his groceries, anxiety filling his body as his arms and legs acted on auto pilot, pivoting between the fridge and the bags. He should call his mom… but he felt guilty alarming her and asking so many questions, especially since she had been so stressed out lately. It was rather embarrassing to admit he didn't know these things and had to keep pestering his mother about them anyway. Regardless, something had to be done and Seth knew he couldn't just pretend that the bill didn't exist. He gulped, wondering if it was possible for his wages to be docked or his car to get repossessed because of medical bills.

Shoving the empty bags under the sink, Seth breathed a huge sigh and stared at his phone, bringing up his mother's contact info. She was at work right now, this could probably wait until she got home. But then, his grandpa was definitely around, at home on the farm, probably trying to occupy himself with something indoors. Seth switched to his grandfather's telephone number, dialing quickly.

He had no idea what he was going to say, but he held the bill in his hands firmly. Just the fact that his grandfather had agreed to pay for all of this was beyond humbling, but he needed to know what was going on because the bill was in his name after all.

"Hello?" Grandpa Don picked up and Seth's heart leapt. 

"Hey Grandpa," Seth began, realizing he should probably sit down. However, he continued to stand, walking in circles while Kevin danced around his feet. "H-how are you?"

"Oh! I'm good, I didn't think you would call me."

"Sorry, were you doing something?" Seth asked.

"Oh no, I was just about to sit down," Don laughed. Seth could hear him sit down and grunt a little. Seth walked to the couch in the living room and planted himself down as well. "How've you been?"

"Great, Grandpa," Seth said, placing the bill on the coffee table. "How's the farm?"

"Oh, same old." Don sighed. "We had a really cold one last week and I had to have Mick help me start the car up so I could meet your mom for brunch. It's been a little warmer now."

"Yeah, I definitely don't miss that..." Seth grimaced.

"But you're doing okay getting around?" his grandpa asked. Seth fidgeted, kneading his joint. "How's that knee?"

"Yeah, it's been a lot better lately," he explained solemnly. "The last week or so it's been a lot easier to stay on my feet and bear weight without it swelling up to bad. I guess I've been making some really good progress." Seth licked his lips, continuing on. "I wanted to ask you too… did you get the info on the whole… bill stuff?"   


"The hospital bill? Oh yeah, I got that somewhere," Don said casually. Seth felt terrible, he didn't want to embarrass his grandfather or come off as an ungrateful grandson. Don's help was a huge lifesaver for him, and Seth  _ knew _ his grandfather had the means to pay it.

"I got… the hospital sent me something," Seth continued. "I got this thing dated on February 27th… like a statement about the balance… I wasn't sure if you were doing a payment plan… or…"

"No…" Don said, sounding confused. "No… I thought that that got paid."

"M-maybe I'm wrong," Seth mumbled, turning the letter over, quite sure that he wasn't. His grandfather didn't sound hurt or upset, but his tone was sort of disconnected. His mother's concerns seemed to add up, and Seth didn't want to admit how it made him feel.

"How about you send that stuff off to your mother and we'll figure it out, it's not anythin' too important, is it?"

"Uh…" Seth looked back at the angry red statement. "Well, it's got a final due date on it… but not for a while."

"Just let your mother know and her and I'll sit down and take a look at it together," Don said reassuringly. "I dunno how long it'll take to get it up here, but we can do it over brunch next time or the time after next…"

"Okay, thanks a lot Grandpa," Seth said, folding up the paper. "Again, I really appreciate it…"

"It's not problem kiddo," Don said warmly. Seth sagged a little with relief, glad that his grandfather wasn't confused or mad about it. Seth hoped that there might have been some possibility Don had mailed a check and it had gotten lost. Or rather, he'd made a simple mistake like forgetting postage or not signing the check before he sent it. These things were understandable, but Seth didn't know how overdue medical bills worked. 

"You been working again then?" Don asked, filling the silence. Seth picked at his beard, nodding to himself.

"Yeah, I haven't been lifeguarding obviously, but my boss has had me doing odd jobs and janitor stuff. I feel like I'll probably be able to teach again before I can guard, but it's all good," Seth said. He wanted to add in that he'd moved into Roman's house, but he bit it back, keeping the information private. Seth still hadn't thought of a good way to tell his grandfather about his relationship, and he didn't want to lie either.

"Well that's good. Here's to hopin' your knee is going to be better than it's been. Now that you've had that surgery, that's supposed to make it stronger, right?"

"Well, kind of, it's not like a bone…" Seth said, thinking. "You can't really repair a meniscus though…"

They continued on, chatting about the differences between ligaments and tendons, as well as making small talk about the weather and things a man of Don's age could relate to. His grandfather didn't really watch the Superbowl or care much about fitness, and Seth still hadn't gone to Disney World, which was just about the only thing Don knew about Orlando.

"They have a ton of parks, and it's getting busier around here now that it's getting nicer," Seth said, continuing to pick at his beard, feeling Kevin licking his toe strangely. "I'm sure I'll get around to it one of these days."

"You and your boyfriend can make a lil' trip of it I bet." Don chuckled. Seth's heart beat irregularly and he laughed nervously. _ What had his mother said? _

"My boyfriend?" Seth asked, voice pitching up.

"Marek… what's his last name again?" Don tried. Seth looked to the ceiling, incredulous. His grandfather  _ definitely _ knew he wasn't with Marek anymore. But from his tone, Seth knew Don wasn't trying to make a joke. "How's he been?"

"We... broke up Grandpa…" Seth said, sitting up and feeling enormously uncomfortable about the strangeness of the situation. Don had been there for the whole event, had been privy to the situation and had surely noticed the fact that Marek no longer attended brunch with them on those Sundays immediately following the breakup. He'd given Seth advice and encouraged him to keep himself busy after he moved back in with his parents. 

"Oh… I'm sorry." Don said simply, going quiet. Seth had no idea what to say. "I'm sorry about that…"

"It's… it's fine Grandpa…" Seth said, and Don cleared his throat. Both men seemed to still and Seth was sure his grandfather knew that he'd forgotten. But It was too awkward to specifically ask about.

"I've gotta go…" Seth said stupidly, clamoring for some sort of exit. "I think the dog wants… to go outside."

"Oh… okay," Don said, a little sadly. Seth's stomach knotted uncomfortably. The last thing he wanted his grandfather to think was that he had messed something up. "We'll get everything figured out… don't worry." 

"T-thank's Grandpa," Seth said. "I love you."

"I love you too, kid."

The first thing Seth did was call his mom, past worrying about bills and money. His grandfather's memory lapse seemed alarming. For Seth, the breakup with Marek had been one of the most defining moments of his present life. If the relationship hadn't ended, he wouldn't have moved and remade his life across the country. His whole family was very aware of this, down to his aunt and his cousins. If his Grandpa had forgotten Marek's name, it would have been one thing, but to think that they were still together was… bizarre.

Staring at his phone, Seth wondered horribly if his grandfather didn't have dementia or the onset of Alzheimer's disease. And then, he panicked, thinking he might be genetically predisposed to the condition.

"Well, just go ahead and send me the papers, just so I can show them to him," Holly sighed, listening to her son's analysis of the phone conversation. "I'll sit down with him and I'll make sure it gets done. Try not to worry too much about that, babe."

"Yeah, but…" Seth mumbled, unsure about what he was even trying to say. "It was so weird mom, I dunno…"

"Yeah, well," Holly said dully again. "I think we're working towards that conversation with him. I know that he's not interested in doing any sort of assisted living, but it's like I said, we'll probably need a specific diagnosis to get some sort of memory care anyway." Holly moved and the receiver crackled. "He's still getting around alright enough and he's able to eat and clean and maintain the area he lives in, so I think it'll be hard to convince him to make any big changes right away."

"Are you okay?" Seth thought to ask, hearing his mother's tired tone. "...Can Bob help with anything?"

"He helped plow grandpa's driveway the other day. We're doing alright," she said. Seth stood up, feeling uncomfortable. 

He'd never known his biological father. Seth obviously loved his step-father Bob and would be incredibly upset if something bad happened to him, but Seth didn't know how Holly was being as cool and collected as she was. Don had helped raise both of them. Seth guessed she was just dealing with the situation in her own way, but he wondered why his mother wasn't more alarmed about all of this.

"We're just going to have to deal with this as it comes," Holly said, trying to be more comforting. "I'll talk to Grandpa and we'll talk about what you saw-"

Seth grunted noncommittally. He certainly didn't want to out his grandfather or make him uncomfortable. The whole thing just felt strange and upsetting

"Well, if he feels upset about it, we can't change how he feels, babe," Holly continued.  "We can't really force him to do anything. I think he knows pretty well that it's been harder for him lately, he might just not know how to tell us yet."

"Okay…" Seth agreed. "Whatever you think is right…"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Continued in Part 2


	2. Simmer and Settle [Part:2]

Cooking was a struggle that evening, and Seth felt distracted and upset, wandering around Roman's kitchen and suddenly unable to focus. He'd only really seen one or two old people that had memory problems, and it had been at an assisted living place in Moline that Seth did Christmas caroling at in the 4th grade. The whole place smelled sad and awful and Seth had a strong memory of a woman with childlike enthusiasm clapping and screaming happily.

Really, Seth just didn't know anything about it, and that was what scared him. There probably wasn't much that could be done, with Don as old as he was. But Seth just felt heartbroken, imagining his grandfather slowly deteriorating for years in some unfamiliar environment. If paying for a live in nurse meant Seth and Brandon didn't get much of an inheritance, he knew he could live with that. 

Mixing up the chicken in a large bowl, Seth knew his grandfather needed to stay at the farm as long as he could. It was what he wanted, and really, it was where he belonged. 

Kevin panted happily, running around outside while the chickens loitered and foraged in the garden. Seth hurried, trying to light the grill and throw a salad together before his boyfriends arrived. The phone calls had put him behind schedule and he'd completely forgotten about how he'd meant to clean and put away more of his belongings. By the time Roman arrived, the kitchen was a mess of dishes and Seth swore, realizing he'd spilled marinade on the counter when he'd moved the meat outside. 

"Smellin' good out here!" Roman called, coming in through the fence and peering at Seth through the sliding door. His boyfriend was looking as handsome as ever in a tank top that showed off his tattoos and proud chest. His hair was slung over one of his large shoulders, still wet from teaching. On Roman's feet, he was wearing socks and slip ons, his usual fashion faux pas. 

"It's not even ready yet," Seth lamented, dusting his hands off on the half apron he'd thrown on. It looked enormous on his smaller body, relative to Roman's hips. His boyfriend stepped inside and pulled of his sunglasses, grinning.

"Smells like it's close though." He leaned down, kissing Seth on the forehead as he usually did in greeting. "You want some help?"

Roman put the radio on and was apparently in a much more bubbly mood, singing along to the pop music and filling the sink with water to pound through some dishes. Seth cleaned up the surfaces and grated some cheese for the salad, much less talkative. It was better having someone home- he wasn't nearly so anxious, and in spite of himself, he smiled a little, smelling the chlorine and body wash scent that was all of their odors mixed together. Seth didn't want to throw down a bunch of stressful talk, especially when his boyfriend seemed so happy, but Roman seemed to know something was up.

"Cookie?" he tried, offering Seth a single peanut butter paddy from the box of girl scout treats. "Just one won't hurt."

"I'm okay, I think I'll have a drink though," Seth said, motioning to the fridge. Roman pulled out some Arnold Palmer mix he'd made up that weekend. 

"Just a little," Seth mumbled, watching Roman splash vodka into a cup. They continued to work and Roman took dishes as Seth dirtied them, speaking occasionally, but mostly humming and singing.

By the time Dean got home, Seth felt a little more calm and sociable. Kevin barked at the door and Seth looked up to see Dean come trudging inside, dropping his bag down and picking the little dog right up from the floor.

"Food," he said simply, patting at Kevin's mouth and getting the small dog wound up with excitement. 

"Food," Seth replied. "I really gotta flip the chicken actually…"

Junior and Peep 2 were anxiously clucking around the patio table as all three men filled the surface with plates and cups. Dean poured a bag of Doritos into a serving bowl and Seth wrinkled his nose, watching the chickens beg for chips. Roman grabbed a handful of bird treats and scattered them around the backyard, in order to keep them occupied. 

"Uce, how much more school do you gotta do to be a chiropractor?" Dean asked, plopping down in his chair as Roman brought out a large plate for Seth to fill with chicken.

"Mm?" He laughed. "Like, four more years. What's up?" 

"I fuckin' hate that Miz dude, so if you think that's too long you should take your old job back," Dean grumbled, popping a chip in his mouth and looking broody. "He got on my case for wearing the old uniform today. You know, the ones we used to have with the longer sleeves? He was all like 'you can't wear that because it's not  _ up to code _ .'"

"We have easily 20 swim shirts between us." Roman laughed. "All of mine are fine, I think a few have the words sorta worn off, but you can use mine."   


"Except I'm like a small medium," Dean complained, outlining his thin waist. "Shmedium." 

"Well, I'm not using  _ mine _ right now," Seth said, placing the transferred chicken onto the table and sitting down between his boyfriends. "Have at it."

Seth wasn't quite the gourmand that Roman was, but he could cook. If he'd had the proper amount of time and a little more attention to detail, the chicken would have probably come out a little more moist and flavorful. The salad was okay, but he was the only one that was really digging into it. Roman had quickly steamed up some sweet corn and Dean was partial to the chips, putting a real dent in the bowl. Seth put a few strips of chicken on the ground for Kevin to eat and he listened to Roman's stream of thought ramblings about what he thought chiropractic school might be like. In the distance, bugs and lizards could be heard, rustling around. 

"...that's just assuming I don't fail anything." Roman sighed, wiping his hands on a napkin and thinking hard. "I signed up for a lot of science stuff and it's the sort of base knowledge for everything that'll come after as far as the anatomy and physiology goes…" 

"We'll help you study," Seth said, sampling a little sweet corn. "We'll make you flash cards and stuff."

"I'm so bad at memorizing…" Roman muttered, sipping from his own drink. "I feel like, the hands on stuff and the customer service wouldn't be that hard, but I dunno. I just hope I can get through the hard part." 

"You're smart, you'll be fine," Dean said, waving his hand. "There's a lot of dumb doctors out there I bet. You can do it."

"That's… _ almost _ encouragement." Roman laughed. "Oh, and my mom wants to get a new fridge for this place so we can accommodate more food and stuff," Roman said, turning to Seth, "I talked to her today on my break." 

"She doesn't believe in our stacking method?" Dean smirked and Seth half smiled. The fridge was always a little precariously full nowadays, but being three hungry guys, they usually emptied it just as quickly. 

"That's cool of her," Seth said. "Just to do that."

"Well, she's always thought it wasn't a great fridge," Roman explained, rolling his eyes for effect. "She wants one here with a good icemaker. She's always complaining about that when she comes. Plus, I think she's really into the idea of having a camera in my fridge so she can make sure I'm eating good."

"That's not creepy at all," Seth laughed. Roman just shrugged, turning pink.

"Well… anyway… I think we gotta just figure out a time that works for us to transfer everything over to a new fridge..." 

Seth and Dean just grinned, looking at Roman, who continued to blush red. It was clear that he was the only one that cared much at all about the whole issue. Really, Seth just needed to know the hours in which his Ben and Jerry's might thaw beyond solid. 

"So we gotta clean the fridge out, is what you're sayin'," Dean said.

"I mean… at some point…" Roman mumbled, quickly stuffing chicken into his mouth while Dean smirked. "We'th got… a'lotta takeout... con'thainers..."

At the end of the meal, Roman refreshed their drinks and Dean lit a cigarette, tapping the ash onto his meal plate. He wiggled his fingers, trying to encourage the chickens to come closer and Seth sat quietly, lost in thought and digesting. It had started to cool some and the backyard was probably on the low end of seventy degrees, but he felt overwarm from his racing thoughts. 

"I think I'm gunna be late home tomorrow," Dean said to the open air, watching as Roman resettled himself with a couple more girl scout cookies. "Been talkin' to Renee and she wanted to hang out after club."

_ Club _ was code for  _ Knitting Club _ and Roman just shrugged, dusting cookie crumbs off the table surface. 

"Do you think you can pick up the boxes in the living room tonight or tomorrow?" Roman asked Seth carefully. "I keep stubbing my toes on 'em…"

"Yeah, I'm sorry…" Seth sighed, jerking himself out of his head. "I meant to today. I got caught up with some... family stuff…"

"Yeah?" Roman asked. Dean fidgeted and blew smoke away from the table. 

"Kinda yeah, I dunno." Seth nodded, staring at the table. "Last time I talked to my mom, she was telling me about how my grandpa was having trouble remembering stuff. We don't really know how bad it is yet, but he said some things on the phone that were weird…" Seth looked up to Dean and Roman carefully, trying not to seem too pathetic. "Do you guys have anyone in your family that have memory problems? Any relatives?"

Dean just shrugged. Seth could imagine that he might not have enough contact with his extended family to know for sure. Roman's face looked pinched, trying to think.

"I don't think so, my grandparents have more mobility issues than anything. We're all so damn big." He frowned, tilting his head. "I'm sorry babe, that's tough."

"It's more my mom's problem than anything," Seth conceded. "I wish I was there more for them… I don't really know how to be part of the family when I'm so far away."

Nobody really said much, and Seth felt a little dismayed throwing the information out to his boyfriends. He didn't really want any sympathy or assurances, it was just a statement of his situation. Dean rolled the cigarette between his fingers, thinking, but nothing really came up. All three men watched as Crispy began to shepherd her chicks toward the coop, bobbing her head and ushering them inside for the night as the sun finally began to sink below the horizon line, out of sight. 

"At least your brother is there, right?" Roman said as they picked up their dinner plates and started moving inside. Seth actually laughed.

"Whatever help Brandon is," Seth snorted. "Nah, I mean, I sell him short, but he's not always really on top of things, if you know what I mean." 

"Well, I'm sure it'll be okay," Roman said, tapping Seth's bottom with the clean side of the barbeque tongs. "I can tell you're a good son to your mom. It's hard living apart sometimes, but you're doing everything you can."

It felt a little better to hear it from Roman, and Seth kept his hands busy with the leftover dishes, stacking the clean plates on the drying rack. Roman pushed a few of the cardboard boxes closer to the wall so they wouldn't be as obstructive and Dean took Kevin for a short walk. 

Everything felt very calm and peaceful. With wrists covered in soapy bubbles, Seth fell into a sort of zen mood knowing he was home, where he wanted to be, with his partners. The newly settled form of stability was a sort of sedative. Things could go wrong outside, but in the house he was safe and secure between the two other men. Now that he was moved out of his old apartment, the shoe had dropped in a sense. Whatever lofty relationship goals or wants he'd had were suddenly settled, resolved. Now he just got to enjoy his existence in the company of the people he loved. 

It was all very similar, but also different.

"He still smells like that grooming place," Dean remarked when he came back inside, holding Kevin up in his arms to greet Seth. Grinning, Seth leaned in, letting Kevin nip and lick at his chin excitedly. "How's your leg?"

"Knee's fine," Seth said, slumping into his boyfriend a little, leaning his head into his shoulder. "I dunno why I'm so tired…"

"Uce is like heating up that oil stuff I think," Dean said, pressing a kiss to Seth's head. "That'll knock you right out."

Seth's interest peaked and he hummed, pulling himself upright again. Roman had a bottle of massage oil that he liked to use on occasion, sometimes for rubbing Seth's knee, but it could be applied wherever merited some extra attention. Though Dean wasn't wildly enthused about being touched, he was great at giving massages. Seth thought it might have something to do with the attention to detail and the focus of having something in his hands. 

"Backrubs?" Seth asked Roman, falling into the sweeter voice that had started to take over his words when he was around his boyfriends for too long. Roman turned from the bedside, looking up as Seth lowered himself down onto his hands and knees, watching him heat up the oil with a tiny specialized hot plate. 

"My knee could use it, but my shoulders are sore too…" he continued, whining a little and pulling off his shirt in a hurry. "It smells good…"

"I'm heating it up, I get firsts," Roman said, eyebrow raised as Seth was undulating on the bed surface, making himself comfortable. As soon as Dean came in from the kitchen, the oil was at the perfect temperature and the room was warm and fragrant. 

"Go brush your teeth," Roman said, turning Dean out again. "I want my feet rubbed."

Seth and Dean acted the part of children forced to do chores, but Roman just smiled, kicking a foot into each of their laps and humming happily while the two men massaged his soles and toes. The dim light of the room was making Seth yawn, but he stayed attentive, trying his best to compete with Dean's slow, circular motions that kept making Roman moan and sigh. 

"When can you start giving us professional massages?" Seth asked, scratching the top of Roman's foot idly with his fingernails. "Or… are you actually going to learn some massage stuff?"

"Some yeah, not a bunch because I won't specialize in that," Roman said, his own hands perched on his chest. "I think I'd like to do some sports medicine stuff. I had my fair share of football injuries and all, I feel like it wouldn't be a stretch to work with kids out of a college around here or something."

"That would be cool," Seth said, looking to Dean. "You don't think you'd move back to Atlanta for that, do you?" 

"I dunno, I'd have to talk to my parents." Roman sighed. "I'd definitely look here first. Atlanta wouldn't be bad, I just need to go somewhere where there would be a need, but I don't think I could be convinced to go to Mississippi or Alabama or something." 

"They'd run us outta town on a rail." Seth laughed sheepishly.  

Dean just shrugged. "Probably be cheap as hell to live there though," he mumbled.

"Orlando is as southern as I want to be." Seth shook his head vigorously. "I'll take all the cuisine and none of the Jesus, thanks."

"Well, no matter we're at, you'll still get plenty of rub downs," Roman said, sitting up a little and nodding to Seth. "Here, I'll do yours now and you can compare later…"

Dean was sheepish about touch as usual and opted to sort of lamely rub Seth's feet while Roman sat on his backside, pushing Seth into the mattress as he worked. Moaning and drooling into the bedsheets, Seth sighed, blowing hair out of his mouth as Roman's fingers went about easing knots he hadn't even known where there. He could feel Roman's dick pressing on his butt a little through their mesh gym shorts, and as time went on, Seth could sense his boyfriend's fingers becoming distracted in a sense, tracing down his spine to the little run of hairs that pointed down toward his fuzzy rump. 

"Did you want a rub, Dean-o?" Roman asked gruffly, patting Seth's sides playfully. 

"I'm good," Dean answered back. Seth poked his head out from the bed a little, licking drool off his lips.

"Are you super ticklish or something?" Seth asked curiously, turning so he was belly up, facing Roman. "Or… do massages just not feel good to you?" 

"Don't feel good," Dean said quietly. "It's fine, I like back  _ scratches _ ,"

Playfully Roman pushed Dean down and began lightly raking his back across his shoulder blades. For a moment, Dean froze up a little, but he relaxed, pulling a pillow under his head, going pliant and calm. Seth experimentally wet his fingertips with the oil again and put his hand to Dean's head, pressing on his scalp.

"You like head massages, I know that much," Seth said, delighting at Dean's little moan of agreement as he began rubbing his scalp slowly and deliberately. They made quick work of it, as Seth was getting excited too, seeing Dean's big arms and chest, tapering down to his tiny waist, stuffed into grey sweats. 

They could all do with sexier loungewear, but it didn't really matter anymore. Most of their sweats and shorts were Roman's anyway, cinched tight on their thinner hips. 

"Hair's all greasy," Dean mumbled, pulling his head up and letting his eyes droop when Seth ran a hand through his beard, rubbing his cheeks. 

"Deal with it," Seth said, kissing him on the lips. Dean kissed back and Roman watched, rubbing Dean's back very lightly where he'd been scratching. After a few moments, Dean's hand went down the backside of Seth's shorts and cupped a handful of his ass gently, enjoying the warm flesh. 

"You like that?" Seth asked teasingly, his own dick wildly enthusiastic about the warmth of Dean's hands. His boyfriend purred, nuzzling his scalp deeper into Seth's hands. Meeting Roman's eyes over Dean's back, he was sure they all had their own ideas about what they could do first. As much as Seth would like to have a dick in his ass, he'd had a rather strange day and felt his focus was a little compromised. Anal wasn't easy, and although it was sometimes a nice relief from his stress, he was pretty sure that he'd have plenty of fun watching Dean and Roman occupy themselves. 

"I think I wanna  _ watch _ ," Seth said, using the same sultry voice and pushing the hand on his bottom over to Roman's. Without hesitation, Dean's hand grasped hard on the clothed cheek. They shifted, and Roman's mouth hovered over Dean's, kissing softly. 

Seth grinned at what he'd managed to create and pulled his dick out of his pants, lying back as Dean's other hand found Roman's alternate side, pulling tight and kneading his round bottom in his hands like dough. Both men were hard, but Dean's usual vibrating eagerness predictably started up and Roman bore down hard, trying to control the pace. It was one of Seth's favorite things to see, and it always made his dick throb against his palm.

Really, he had to keep himself in check as the men started tearing off their clothes and Dean began the slow battle of trying to roll Roman over in some little power play of dominance. His hands were everywhere, as though Roman was some sort of lock he was trying to pick. Seth licked his lips as Dean's hands strayed down those huge arms, then over his chest, pinching and pulling on his nipples before grasping at his sides and tugging left and right. Roman would groan or sigh, but mostly his eyes stayed shut, pliant, yet unwieldy by the nature of his size. 

"Lube," Dean said to Seth, making grabby hands and looking to the bottle on the bedside. Seth tossed the lube over and Dean grabbed it, biting Roman's lip a little at he warmed the liquid in his hands, respectfully. Roman pushed his hair back, letting the long dark locks flow luxuriously down his shoulders. His face pinched as Dean's hand reached behind his dick, searching for the good stuff. 

Roman panted hard, wobbling on his palms and Seth had to curse his hair trigger. He paused, willing himself to calm a little, lest he blow his load before they'd even done anything. Really, it was all Roman's fault, the man was making the sweetest faces, all breathy and labored, clearly enjoying himself.

Dean didn't help.

" _ Yeah _ ?" he kept asking, eyes half lidded and approving. "That good?"

Roman just nodded and Seth groaned, pulling his hands completely away from his dick and threading his fingers behind his head. It was too hot.

"Sometimes I wonder who's sluttier," Dean said, his gaze poking out to Seth, before focusing back in on Roman. His fingers were squelching loudly, moving back and forth, making Roman pant, open mouthed and sweaty. "You're both a damn show."

"It's S-Seth, _ fuck _ ," Roman breathed, shuddering as Dean moved faster, poking deeper. Seth frowned, raising an eyebrow. 

"I dunno, I'm looking at a big- ol' slut right now," Seth choked. He'd almost said 'big  _ fat  _ slut', but he quickly edited himself. Tentatively, he tried to stroke himself again, pulling a tug curiously and starting back up again. There was no way he ever looked quite as undone as Roman looked right now- well, except for during some of their more mind-numbing times. Roman was always a lot more flushed and sweaty tho, Seth was sure. 

"It's like two different _ kinds  _ of slut," Dean managed, giving his own dick a few wet strokes, preparing himself. He looked at Seth again. "You're like…" he looked thoughtful for a moment, wrinkling his nose.

"Oh, go on, please," Seth laughed, watching Roman tug on his own cock fruitlessly. It was a peculiar scene, but Dean stuck out his tongue, considering.

"Like uh... all  _ desperate _ slutty. Like you're gunna  _ die _ if you don't get off," Dean said. Roman nodded quickly, grinning. Seth frowned, raising an eyebrow.

"You're like a fuckin'  _ carnival ride _ ," Dean said to Roman, slapping the man's thighs and holding his dick out to be buried. "Like I'm gunna break myself on you…"

Roman and Dean started kissing again, and for once, Seth felt a little weird and left out. Dean hadn't meant anything cruel with his explanation, but the wording was strange. Immediately, Seth wondered if he was clingy or something, whiny and over enthusiastic in bed. He blinked, remembering he was jerking off as his hand squeezed his dick quickly, reminding him what he was doing. 

It wasn't too difficult, with the noise being made. 

" _ Fuck _ ," Dean moaned raggedly, his hands scrambled to brace himself against the bed frame for a moment before landing on Roman's hips, barely working as the larger man bucked down, rolling back and forth and fucking himself all over Dean's cock. Seth watched as Roman's own dick flopped around uselessly, his chest bouncing slightly from the impact. 

"Don't break yourself," Seth said with a sneer, pounding his hand and watching as Dean began beating up as well, trying to match the energy that was flattening him into the mattress. The frame squeaked a little and Roman whipped his hair back, chin tilted to the ceiling. What really did it for Seth was the sight of Roman's ass shaking from behind, slapping on Dean's hips and rippling all the way up to his lower back, nearly  _ loud  _ with the intensity of the hit. The shape of the muscle and flesh was so thick and round, all power.

"Dean… Uce… fuck him," Seth panted, sinking back against the wall, feeling his orgasm rush again. He kept closing his eyes, preparing, and then remembering what was in front of him, as though his boyfriends were a feast he might miss. Roman caught Seth's eyes, and sped up, mouth open, giving Seth's thigh a little pat of encouragement. He came first, but his audible gasping seemed to send Dean over the edge and he yelped, determined to be louder. 

"Whoo wee," Roman said, blinking hard and chuckling at the sight of both men, similarly exhausted. Dean had pulled a pillow over his head and his chest was rising high with his breath. Seth was sure he looked a mess, his front slathered in come. "And my bed used to be so clean…"

"We ought flip the mattress soon." Seth laughed sheepishly, wiping sweat from his eyebrows. "I'm not like… obnoxious in bed or anything, am I?"

"What?" Roman snorted. "No, why?"   


"Well, I dunno," Seth said, laughing nervously. "Is  _ desperate slut _ a compliment?"

"Yeah," Dean said, his voice muffled by the pillow still covering his face. Seth kind of wanted to shove it down playfully, but he didn't want to get the pillowcase dirty.

"No lil' Uce, you're fine," Roman said resting his hand softly on Seth's left knee, still breathless from the exertion. "Don't worry about it."

A quick rinse in the shower and Seth mostly felt alright, albeit a little weird moving around so fast after he'd come. Dean had just rolled over and found his usual spot in bed, and Roman had put on his bathrobe to let Kevin out one last time for the night. He knew he shouldn't really be worried, but Seth just had a lot on his mind and sometimes he felt like his boyfriends were his only solid base. 

Jealousy hadn't really been an issue before and Seth was long past assuming that Dean and Roman loved each other more or something equally immature, but sometimes he was just too vulnerable. 

When he finished cleaning up, he wrapped a towel around his waist and made to brush his teeth, grabbing his regular toothpaste, next to Roman's ultra whitening brand. The little shelf was somewhat untidy, and Seth frowned, dusting beard hairs from the surface that were probably his. 

_ Can't let little dumb things bother you, _ Seth reminded himself, spitting paste into the sink and running the tap to clear it. A bit dribbled in his beard and he wiped it clean, looking at his reflection carefully. 

The blonde streak had grown out quite a bit now, faded and a sickly yellow. His beard was a little overgrown, but not bad. Flecked with water from the shower, Seth's face looked tired, but not any more ugly or handsome than he ever was. 

He was okay, the day had been stressful, but Seth had made it work.

"Lil Uce, can you shut the hallway light off?" Roman called from the bedroom. Seth spit out more toothpaste, rinsing off the brush. Dean was saying something and laughing, but Seth couldn't hear. 

"Yeah, yeah," he said, tapping off the toothbrush and quickly stashing it back in the little container by the sink. "One sec."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WE'RE BACK BAY BAY!
> 
> A little break and some other things written, but now To The Rescue will be back to weekly updates. Monday is still the day, but I thought I'd post this early since it's finished. Likely most of you are with your families right now or pre-occupied with holiday stuff, but I'm not! So in solidarity with all holiday orphans I've posted the start of this and finished the Paradiso fic, if that's something you're interested in reading. I posted my prompt to the WWE Secret Santa too, but I don't think that'll show up until it's approved. 
> 
> Again, a huge thanks to everyone who's read and re-read Part I. All of your comments were very sweet and I've taken all of your suggestions and thrown them in a big box. This part we'll definitely be seeing more of Roman, as well as a few special chapters written from his and Dean's perspective, taking us all the way from March to August/September in the span of story time. By all means, continue commenting and telling me if you want to see anything specific. There's a few things that are set in stone, but I like to keep it open to changes in the WWE canon and fan wishes. 
> 
> A big happy holidays, I hope you enjoy these updates and all the ones in the future. I think I took all the time off between the SHIELD reuniting and now that Dean's torn his tricep I can get back to writing them as a threesome XD Comment if you read/liked it and check out the index if you're looking for something specific
> 
> And lastly, a huge round of applause for our beta Kenjideath 
> 
> <3 Strykelass


	3. Ventilate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kitchen appliances and work projects. Seth pushes Roman's buttons.

Upon waking the next morning, Seth peeled himself apart from Dean and found he'd gotten some texts on his phone. Pushing hair out of his sleepy face, Seth realized he'd forgotten to really get back to Jimmy, but the messages awaiting him in his inbox were actually from Cesaro.

Dean squirmed, pulling the blankets tighter around them as Seth readjusted to sit up and read his phone. Roman had already gotten up and was moving around the kitchen.

**I donot know if you work or are busy but if you are free could u possibly pick me up from the airport?**

**TJ is busy and I could call a cab, but i could help with gas also. My arm is still in a sling so my luggage is difficult.**

**I get in around 6 PM Wednesday**

**For sure!** Seth replied immediately, thinking that he could drop Dean off at his knitting club and then proceed to the airport. It would probably work. Dean had mentioned doing something with Renee anyway, so that gave him some time to see his friend if he was up for visiting. After all the assistance Cesaro had provided Seth with during the incident with his knee, Seth felt that helping with transportation was the least he could do. 

Between showering and quickly making a breakfast sandwich, it occurred to him that he would be seeing his friend for the first time in almost a month. Though it wasn't  _ that  _ much time, Seth felt as though it had been ages since he'd really gotten to hang out with his friend. Without Cesaro, Seth felt like he spent a lot more time hanging around the house. Though they couldn't properly workout together, he wondered if they couldn't find some way to blow off steam as friends. 

"Bacon, Lil' Uce?" Roman asked, watching Seth teeter around the kitchen in search of a coffee cup. 

"Yes, Uce," Seth mumbled back, setting his phone down on the kitchen island and adding a bit of milk to his mug. Dean wandered in as soon as Roman had finished toasting a few pieces of bread. Wearing the larger man's bathrobe, he looked rumpled and small, like a child.

"Later on in the week, my ma wanted to us to go to Best Buy and pick out a fridge," Roman said, handing out plates and putting the jug of orange juice out. "Plus, Seth, we still need to go to the post office and change your address."

"I did it online," Seth yawned, rubbing his eyes a little and stretching. "Really, I don't mind whatever you wanna get. So long as the thing cools my food, I couldn't care less."

"Yeah, me too," Dean mumbled, grabbing bacon strips and shoving them into his mouth. "Don't wanna shop."

"Okay, well…" Roman sighed, drinking from a glass of sweet tea. "You still need to help me clean out the one we got."

"Are we recycling it or something?" Seth asked, nodding to the fridge. Roman's cheek twitched.

"No, I was just gunna dump it. Got other stuff in the garage I need to get rid of too. I was gunna pay some folks to take it away," Roman said, shrugging. 

"It still works," Dean said. "We could sell it!"

Roman didn't say much, more interested in his breakfast than making business deals. Seth did think it was a little weird that he would just throw out a perfectly good refrigerator. But then, he also thought it was weird they were getting a brand new one anyway. It probably wasn't his place to say much on it, so Seth just didn't bother. 

Dean checked on the chickens before getting ready for work, but Roman had an early class, so he quickly rinsed his plate in the sink and prepared a snack to take along. 

"You can drive the caddy this morning," Seth said to Dean, hurrying a little to match Roman's pace. "I'll ride shotgun with Uce."

Dean nodded, popping open a soda and scratching his beard. They were still working out a smooth set up for who drove which car in the morning, but Seth and Roman seemed to be carpooling most often. It made sense with their schedules. 

"What're you going to do today?" Roman asked as they drove along. It was already almost eighty degrees and it wasn't even nine AM yet. Seth blinked, shifting his gaze from the intersection outside to Roman's large hands, holding the steering wheel.

"I dunno," Seth admitted, furrowing his brow. "I think Sami's back… but I guess I'll have to see what Hunter wants."

"Really cool that he's finding a place for you," Roman said, turning the radio down so they could talk. "Doing janitor stuff hasn't hurt your knee at all?"   


"No, it's fine," Seth said, looking back out the window. "It's all nice, I wish I could guard again though…"

Seth missed it most when he did cleaning rounds near the pool and got to walk around on the deck. A lot of White Water was so heavily air conditioned that Seth felt goosebumps all over his arms as he walked through the halls, collecting garbage and sweeping. In the pool area, the air was warm, and he always felt his spine tingle with pleasure after being chilly for a while. 

All Seth wanted was to feel normal again, back to working out and donning a guard shirt. 

"Hey Seth, could I talk to you for a minute?" Hunter asked, catching him as he began to walk down the stairs that led to the boiler room where Kevin was usually found.

"Huh? Oh…" Seth nodded, slightly nervously. His boss always looked a little grumpy, so it put him on edge.

"It's just about the fundraiser stuff," Hunter explained, drinking from his coffee. "Let's go sit in my office."

Passing by Charlotte and Sasha guarding the lap pool, Seth followed Hunter into his shared office with Stephanie. Sitting down on the spare chair in the corner, Seth rubbed his knee a little, feeling a little extra swelling in the joint.

"Next appointment I'm going to talk to my PT about guarding again," Seth said, tracing the surgical scar. "I've been feeling really good lately."

"Yeah, just let me know about that, we could use some more instructors for our next session of lessons. I bet Mike could just put you down on the baby lessons, that wouldn't stress you out much," Hunter explained, looking at his clipboard. "We're re-doing our whole class structure though, so we're going to have a special meeting for instructors after the Sunday inservice. So make sure you attend that."

"Right, okay." Seth nodded, remembering that Dean had mentioned the class changes. Hunter logged into his computer and found a spreadsheet with a long list of numbers and addresses. The printer hummed loudly and Seth watched the document pop inside the landing tray. 

"So, for the fundraiser-" Hunter said, straining to think. "Were you here last year for it?" 

"No, I wasn't around last spring," Seth admitted. 

"Okay, so it's the Friday after we have our maintenance week, right around the end of the month," Hunter explained. "It's a big deal, we'll do raffles for free swim lessons and stuff, there's food and games for the kids. A bunch of different aquatics organizations will be there and the park will be closed while we do games in the main pools." He paused, blinking with what seemed like exhaustion at the thought of the event. Seth grinned. "Now, most of the stuff is all done- we usually have everything reserved a year in advance, but I'm printing out this final checklist of confirmations."

Hunter leaned over in his ergonomic chair to grab a few sheets of paper off the printer, handing them to Seth.

"So, this afternoon after you go through the cleaning rounds, I want you to call these people and confirm that they're coming for the day. It should all be fine, most of these guys have been doing this with us for years, but we just want to make sure that it's all good."

"Okay." Seth nodded, looking down the list. There were catering places listed, as well as tent rentals and independent contractors. It was thorough enough where every number had an additional description of what the business's services were and when the deposits had been paid. 

"You feel confident doing the cleaning rounds by yourself?" Hunter asked, surveying Seth with a rare smile. "Kev is going to look after the contractors a lot this week, getting the park in order and everything."

"Yeah, yeah, it shouldn't be a big deal." Seth smiled back. "I'm pretty fast even with a bad leg."

"Well, even if you're having a hard time, just let me know," Hunter said firmly. "Just write down any notes too if those people need any additional info from me-" he pointed at the top of the document where the White Water address and fax number was. "We just need to accommodate their vehicles and such. Oh, and one last thing-" he pointed to the last number on the list, which looked to be some sort of food establishment. "These guys haven't got the deposit yet, but it's because we're still waiting on a switch with this other restaurant. My friend Joe runs the place, so you can ask him if he needs some quick money down to get confirmation."

"Got it," Seth said, taking a pen and quickly writing the note down in the margin so he didn't forget.

* * *

It was nice to be trusted with something more than cleaning windows, and Seth smiled more than usual as he spent the morning doing his usual custodial duties. Sasha's belief in Hunter's preference for him seemed to ring true the more he thought about it, recalling all the ways his boss seemed to favor for him. It made sense, as he was reliable and always showed up early, sometimes staying later to assist when something came up.

More than anything, Seth wanted to keep up the good rapport, and he worked quickly, trying to see how fast he could move on from cleaning to making phone calls. The lap pool's PH was a little low after some testing by the guards, and Seth felt rather self-congratulatory when Hunter smiled at him while he made his way downstairs to check the chemical gauges. 

His good attitude couldn't be shaken, even with AJ coming into the break room over lunch, shooting Seth an uncomfortable stare as the whirring microwave heated up his leftovers. Seth just sat with his phone, bored and haughty, wondering if he couldn't ask for a raise from his boss sometime in the near future. 

"Hunter's trusting me with _ all _ the important accounts," Seth boasted to Roman before he returned to work, stretching his arms wide and holding the papers above his head. Roman rolled his eyes a little, looking at his iPad and eating a sandwich.

"Still gunna get done around three?" he asked. Seth nodded, looking down the list.

"Probably won't take that long," he muttered. "Do people even answer the phone after two?"

As it turned out, most people didn't and Seth only left a few voicemails before opting out of leaving messages for machines. He'd just have to call earlier the next day, he thought, sitting at the desk in the backroom behind the lobby desk. After scribbling down the list and making note of which numbers he'd managed to reach, Seth only made contact with a few businesses, which all dryly assured Seth that White Water was confirmed with their services.

"I'll call tomorrow around 11 maybe, we only have to detail the adaptive pool on Wednesdays, so that's easy enough." Seth explained to Hunter, showing him the list. Without pause, Hunter's phone rang and he simply nodded to Seth, picking up his headset and accepting the call.

"That should be fine," Stephanie said, smiling her usual stiff grin. "Thanks a lot Seth."

The only way the day would have been improved was if he'd had Cesaro to hang out with, and Seth jittered with excitement at the prospect of being able to see his friend again after so many days away. Whatever stress of Jimmy, a refrigerator, or his grandfather, could surely wait until he had his friend back with stories to tell about Switzerland. Seth had to stop his mind from wandering as Roman talked over the car radio, describing the mundane nature of his online classes.

"It's so boring, but I just want to get it all done before spring break," he sighed, turning off the highway and putting a hand against the air conditioning. "Don't want to have to worry about some dumb 'healthy living' course when I'm drinking beer on a boat."

"Do you know how to drive a houseboat?" Seth asked distractedly. Roman nodded, shrugging a little. 

"Yeah, I've done it a couple times. My family used the ones we're getting a lot when we were growing up. When I was really little we actually had a houseboat in Pensacola, but it got sold at some point and we would rent from this one business that was there and my dad knew the people."

Seth nodded, and Roman's cheek twitched as they passed a panhandler. 

"They ended up moving down to the Keys, I think because of some hurricane damage or something. So then we started doing little vacations down there in Shield Key."

"Where's Shield Key?" Seth asked, enjoying listening to his boyfriend explain it all. "Are these all islands? Or…"

"Yeah, basically. Shield Key is a little past Largo, it's really small and I think it used to be some military base or something. I guess it opened up for general use and it's mostly just shore fronts with a marina and a little shrimp restaurant." 

"Cool," Seth said, without much to add. "I've never been down there."

"It's really great," Roman said, smiling. "Most of it just reminds me of home, being on the ocean and all, but it's got a lil' different vibe to it."

They pulled into the garage and Seth went about grabbing his work bag, unconsciously shushing Kevin's barks at the door. Just as he was trying to figure out if his phone had fallen under his car seat, Seth's device buzzed in the cupholder of the Jeep and he grabbed it, finding a text.

**Just emailed you some stuff** his mother had sent him.  **Please check! Love you**

Seth blinked and followed Roman's trail into the house, ignoring his dog’s excited barking. With a flick, he tried to open up his email application.

"I was going to do some school work in a sec, did you want a snack?" Roman asked, looking into the fridge. "This food needs to get ate." 

"I'm good," Seth muttered, leaning on the kitchen island and squinting, annoyed as his email application quit unexpectedly. Kevin launched himself up on his hind legs to get Seth's attention and so he walked to the back door to let the dog outside. 

After a few more tries, Seth was annoyed, going so far as to turn his phone off and restart it to get it to work. Roman was reheating some leftovers in the microwave while he opened up some packet that looked like school work in front of his iPad set up.

"Did Dean text you?" Roman asked as Seth grumbled, watching his phone come back to life. He shook his head.

"My Ma emailed me something. That ever happen to you? Where an application keeps quitting over and over?" 

"Not since I switched and got a Samsung." Roman shrugged and pointed to his iPad. "You can use that quick, I gotta run to the bathroom anyway."

Annoyed, but sure that the process would be simpler with a bluetooth keyboard, Seth sat and opened up Roman's iPad just as his boyfriend rounded the corner of the hallway. Surely, his mother couldn't have sent him anything with any bad news attached… if it had to do with his grandfather's health, it probably would have necessitated a phone call. 

But as soon as Seth opened up the web browser to get to his gmail, all thought of looking at his inbox vanished from his head. Roman's web browser was a sea of tabs, but almost all of them were explicit in nature. 

Seth's face heated up as he experimentally clicked the tab with Roman's class portal on it first, wondering what exactly his boyfriend got up to on this device. While he was sure it was rude to be digging through Roman's internet history, he had insisted that Seth could use the thing. At least five tabs were opened to videos with oddly specific headings. 

_ BABY TWINK CHOKED OUT _ made Seth almost burst out laughing, clicking through with sudden, rapturous interest.  _ WHITE TRADE CHOKED UNCONSCIOUS BY MUSCLE BEAR!  _ was hardly any less innocent.

"Roman what are you  _ doing _ ?" Seth said to himself breathlessly, clicking through each tab with manic glee. Every single video was centered around asphyxiation, with most of the victims appearing to be tiny, helpless men. It was so hilarious and erotic, Seth turned the volume off and watched for a whole thirty seconds while a man was choked by another guy, then a third came all over his face in an act of utter humiliation. 

Seth himself felt incredibly hot, not really from what he was seeing, but the thought of Roman jerking off to it, right there at the kitchen table without a care in the world. 

"I think for dinner, I'm just going to make pasta, does that work for you, you think?" Roman asked from down the hall, coming back into the kitchen and taking a sip off of his tea. Seth stared and Roman stared back, completely oblivious.

"Something bad?" he asked Seth, walking over. Without any thought to how his boyfriend might handle the situation, Seth turned up the audio on again and flipped the screen. Entirely horrified and embarrassed, Roman put a hand to his mouth and turned with a grimace while Seth cackled, pounding the table.

"C'mon Uce! While you were  _ studying _ ?" he jeered, flipping the screen back so he could see it clearly. " _ Very _ specific taste here!"

"It wasn't while I was studying!" Roman said, turning red and burying his face in his hands. "I left the fricken' tabs open!"

"You never leave the tabs open!" Seth laughed maniacally. Kevin barked at the door outside. "WHO LEAVES THE TABS OPEN?"

"It's _ my  _ iPad!" Roman argued, gesturing at the device. "God… turn it off… I'm sorry… I forgot..."

"Well, I guess we're all comfortable now, aren't we?" Seth laughed, looking at his boyfriend with love and amusement. "Really, I don't care, it's fine."

"It's  _ not  _ fine," Roman said, still embarrassed. He paced for a moment, drinking his tea and looking apologetic and overwhelmed. "Ugh…"

"Choking though?" Seth asked, determined to get to the bottom of such an interesting subject. "Or maybe just gang bangs, dang man. They tore that guy  _ apart _ -"

"Look, okay…" Roman sighed. "I'm sorry, can we just forget this? We've all got our… keywords… I guess…"

"It's totally fine!" Seth said, as sincerely as he could manage. "For real though! I think… well, Dean said you like choking before I think, I just… I just didn't really know anyone else that's liked that, or like, how it works or whatever."

"Well it's not-" Roman began, clearly flustered. "It's not like I need it in the context of porn, it's just… it's ridiculous."

"It's  _ fine _ ," Seth laughed, feeling a little bad. "Sorry, that was kind of shitty of me, I just… I thought it was funny…"

"It's…" Roman sighed, walking to the back door to let Kevin in. "It's stupid."

"No! It's not!" Seth amended again, closing out of all the porn tabs to make a point. "You can tell me that stuff, I don't want it to be a joke."

"What's to tell?" Roman laughed. Seth blinked, adjusting his thighs as his dick was still sort of present in his work jeans, shifting against the material. "We've done stuff, you know my kinks or whatever."

" _ Kind _ of," Seth reminded him. "You  _ still  _ haven't suspended me from the ceiling." 

"Well, I trust you more now," Roman said pointedly, scratching at his tattoos and looking to the floor. Seth grinned. "Choking… is different. It's really technically unsafe and I don't like blabbing about how much I like it 'cause it freaks people out sometimes."

"But, you've told Dean," Seth said, gesturing. "You've done it with Dean. What's the issue?"

Roman rolled his eyes, and Seth chuckled a little. He'd obviously liked to have had this conversation without any potential embarrassment but it was kind of hilarious to see Roman so shaken up. He kept pacing like a caged dog, avoiding Seth's gaze and shifting his feet. Seth's line of sight fell down to his shorts and he grinned wider. It was pretty easy to tell when Roman had a stiffy. 

"Dean doesn't like doing it. Nobody does," Roman said, exasperated. "It's like, the  _ dumbest _ kink. Dan once caught me like, fucking around doing it while I was jerkin' off and it really freaked him out, so I don't fuck with it." he explained, sighing. "It's fun, but I definitely can't like,  _ chase _ that experience."

"Well, don't be coy," Seth said, unfolding his hands. "What's it like?" 

They moved into the bedroom without bothering to explain, both men radiating a sort of over excited energy brought on by the discovery. Seth left his phone in the kitchen, fast forgetting what he'd even been doing. His interest had been piqued and although Seth had no idea about erotic asphyxiation, he was always ready to try something new and see if he liked it. 

Or, at the very least, have a look into Roman's world and see where he couldn't fit in. The porn was one thing, Seth had thought the videos were probably quality masterbatory material, but he also wondered if being the one to choke Roman out a little might be something interesting, an activity that he could do when Dean clearly didn't want to partake. 

Sitting down on the bed while Roman stood awkwardly by his kinky wicker chest, Seth also supposed that he might hate it, or at least find the whole activity too bizarre to get into. But he was at least determined to try. Seth scratched at his dick purposefully and Roman seemed to second guess himself for a moment. 

"I don't..." Roman sighed again, clearly a little uncomfortable. "...I don't have any belts or rope or anything like that, I don't do that stuff anymore."

"Okay, but like, how do you  _ do _ it then?" Seth asked, placing his own hands on his throat and feeling around experimentally. "Sort of seems terrifying once you think about it." 

"Yeah, okay," Roman said, cowed by his own thoughts. "So, there's like, safe kink and pain play or whatever, but choking is fundamentally dangerous. There's no smart way to do it, and you need to know what you're doing."

"We're lifeguards," Seth laughed. "Well, you know what you're doing…I mean..."

"Right, but I don't wanna make you think this is like, some _ safe  _ shit, okay?" Roman said biting his lip to stop his grin. "Choking is something you do with people you trust, and even then, if you aren't being really careful, you can fuck yourself up."

"Yeah, yeah, I get it," Seth said, tilting his head up and threading his fingers around the back of his neck. "Can you like, do it to me a bit?" He pressed down on his throat, making his voice rasp. "Just show me a lil,"

"You don't crush your  _ windpipe _ ," Roman laughed, scrambling onto the bed, clearly excited. "Okay, so find your carotid pulse, yeah?" He pushed a finger to his own neck, just below his jaw on the right side. "So, when you mess with breathplay stuff, for strangulation it's not your breath that's being taken away, it's the oxygen to your brain. You stop the flow of blood to your brain and that's what knocks you out. So here, push it and you can kinda feel it."

"Weird," Seth mumbled, feeling around his neck and frowning at the sensation of pressing against the sensitive tissues. Little hairs from his beard stood on end and he tried to lock in on just his pulse. "I guess that makes sense, I always thought-" Seth paused, feeling his vision blur and vibrate for a moment as he held his throat. He blinked, removing his hand, feeling light and floaty. 

"Yeah?" Roman asked, a little breathless himself, staring raptly at Seth with his large dark eyes. Seth nodded, laughing, a little too numb for words. 

"I didn't think it would happen that fast-" Seth chuckled, blinking hard. "Huh…"

"That's why it's dangerous, you can mess yourself up and if you're using belts and stuff, you'll croak," Roman said, tapping at his own neck. "Hell of a turn on, but not really worth the trouble."

"Okay  _ mom _ ," Seth snickered, leaning in and finding Roman's lips between the edges of his beard. Roman kissed back, a little tentatively and slowly, but Seth's hands wandered, wondering if a hand around his boyfriend's throat counted as foreplay. It was hard to find the exact point of Roman's artery without poking obnoxiously, but the man purred, grabbing Seth and rolling him on top of him.

"Really though," Roman said, drawing back from Seth's mouth to look at him. His fingers found a length of his hair and Seth's spine prickled, enjoying the sensation of the firm hands toying with his locks. "Sometimes it's more fun to jerk off to that stuff than really do it, I don't want you to feel like ya gotta do that or anything." Seth frowned. "I obviously can get off without it."

"Yeah, but I really don't mind that much at all." Seth shrugged, putting his hands right over Roman's barrel chest, looking down. "It's hot. I just don't know much about it. I'd be down to choke you out or have you do me."

Roman's eyes widened a little and Seth grinned. He could feel his boyfriend's dick hardening right up against his jeans, into Seth's hip. Really, the swelling had to be uncomfortable with the position they were in, but Roman just licked his lips, looking ravenous.

"You can show me how you do it and I'll try to do it back," Seth proposed, finding Roman's hands with his own and continuing on. "Squeeze me a little… till I tap…"

It was fun being flirtatious and Seth laughed as Roman plowed him down, pinning him into the mattress and making out with him furiously. He was all tongue and anxious bites, grinding into Seth's Seth's good leg and tickling the lobes of his ears as though he was itching to get to his neck. Seth kissed back, feeling a little smug with how easily he'd found another way to please his boyfriend, even if he was still a little leary of the whole activity. 

"You're sure?" Roman asked again, checking in as soon as he came up for breath. Seth snorted, sitting back up again.

"Uce, if I pass out, I'm sure you're more than qualified to deal with it," he scoffed. All the same, he massaged his neck a little wondering what it would feel like. "I'll be… communicative and all that."

"We'll agree to tap, yeah?" Roman said, patting his fingers against the bed. "Some people just put their hand up too, and if it goes limp then you just release. But…" he surveyed the room for a moment, with a newly realized excitement. "...Probably easiest to just go with a rear naked choke."

"Oh, so you're a  _ wrestler _ now," Seth teased, watching Roman plop down behind him and look to the vanity mirror on the closet. The surface was a little greasy and dirty, but it was easy to see both of their faces as Roman drew in, putting his arm around Seth's neck lightly. Seth looked down, glancing at the tattooed lines and symbols that made up his body art. 

"So, you go high, trying to hit that artery like I showed you," Roman explained, sounding as aroused and gruff as Seth had ever heard his voice pitch to. He alternated high and low to show Seth what he meant and Seth nodded a little, feeling his beard tickle his boyfriend's arm. "You flex your bicep so you can put pressure on it…"

"Yeah…" Seth said, adjusting a little so he was sitting right up against Roman. He really didn't know how it would work, but Roman was safe and warm. Instinctively, he swallowed and put a hand on the readied arm carefully. 

"Show me how you'd tap," Roman said. Seth blinked, watching his own fingers tap the arm. 

"Am I going to pop a boner from this?" Seth asked nervously, watching his reflection again. Roman just shrugged. 

"Maybe." He grinned. "You wanna try?"

"Yeah," Seth said, his heart racing. "Do it."

The feeling was exhilarating and equally terrifying as Roman closed the space between his arm and Seth's neck and seemed to constrict his whole body around his boyfriend. Seth blinked hard, caught by the suddenness of it all, he instinctively struggled a little and his arms shook. 

It took a moment for Roman's arm to really find it's target though and Seth just sat, staring at the wall before his vision began to spot and blur. There was no flash of sudden arousal or much willingness on Seth's part to find himself blacking out, and he supposed some survival instinct began to kick in. Scared and decidedly unenthused, Seth tapped his fingers against Roman's arm several times and he was released, holding his neck and looking sort of dazed. 

"Yeah?" Roman asked, grinning. Seth wasn't sure what to say, but his brain was also jumbled, trying to adjust to the light in the room while his vision tried to find the right colors. 

"I guess," Seth managed, blinking a few times and massaging the area where the inside of Roman's elbow had been. "I dunno… I think my body just didn't like it."

"Hmm," Roman said, looking a little crestfallen despite himself. Seth rubbed his eyes, still needing a moment to be back in reality. He didn't want his boyfriend to feel alienated or weird, but the intensity of it all was a little much to just be thrown into.

"I dunno how I could keep it up through that," Seth said, palming his dick which was suddenly a little shy. "I think… I think the manhandling is fun or whatever, but not… the part where my body thinks it's gunna die.

"You can keep it up while you're getting fucked in the ass," Roman said with a smirk, shrugging. "It's cool though, it's a lot to handle, I just…" He paused and Seth looked up, feeling more or less back to normal. "Forget it, it's no big deal."

"What?" Seth asked, rolling his eyes. "Uce, you're such a big tease." 

"Am not," Roman blushed, picking at his nail beds. Feeling confident, Seth put an errant hand right over his boyfriend's clothed dick, rubbing up and down around his crotch to elicit a response. Roman groaned, sinking down and splaying his legs out for easier access. 

"What is it?" Seth purred, easily tracing around the bulge in Roman's mesh shorts. "What do ya want?"

"Do me," Roman breathed, arching his neck up so it was fully on display. "I want… you to choke me out…"

"Oh yeah?" Seth asked. He was about to pull his hand away, but his boyfriend continued, the words tumbling out of his mouth before they could be assessed. 

"I want… you to choke me out and I want to wake up to you sucking my cock... " Roman grunted, rubbing his own hand over Seth's working palm. "Wanna wake up from nothing and see you all over me…"

"Y-yeah?" Seth spluttered, looking at Roman's eyes, clearly dreamy and blissful. The way he'd said it, it was obviously some fantasy he'd labored over. Probably something he'd thought about several times when he'd jerked off, probably something he'd thought was outside of the realm of possibility. It was a pretty tall order and Seth wasn't really sure he could actually choke his boyfriend unconscious.

Just five minutes ago, Roman had been trying to tell him how dangerous it all was. Though the messages seemed mixed, it was easy to tell what the man  _ really _ wanted. 

"How do I do that?" Seth asked, giving Roman's cock a squeeze before taking his hand away. "Just… do it till you go limp?" 

"Fuck," Roman sighed, clearly struggling with the tent in his shorts. "I'll pass out… you can just keep my head below my shoulders… and then…" He pulled his shorts down and his dick shot out, eager to be played with. Seth pursed his lips, thinking of the logistics. 

"You don't have to though, really," Roman said, sensing hesitation and pressing his dick flat as though to punish it. "I've choked myself out before though, it's not my first time, but if you don't feel-"

"Shut up, I got this," Seth said, coming behind Roman and staring back at his reflection with a look of determination. "I just don't wanna bruise up your throat."

"It's… it's fine," Roman said, unable to contain his cheesy smile as Seth moved his arm around, trying to find the right spot. Roman's hands came up to assist and Seth sat himself deep into the mattress, mentally preparing himself for what he was about to do. If he did this correctly, Roman was going to sag behind him and look dead… it was scary, but Seth reminded himself that he was a first responder at least. 

"When my hand goes limp, you just let go," Roman said, holding his arm aloft in the air. "I'll probably make a weird gasping noise, but that's normal… and I probably won't be hard anymore, but I don't care."

"You've planned all of this," Seth teased, Roman just grunted and Seth could feel his heartbeat pattering incredibly fast. He wasn't even pressing yet. 

"Just like, make sure my head stays low when he let me go," Roman mumbled, his other hand rubbing Seth's thigh. "...I'm ready."

Seth bit his lip and began to press, nearly hugging Roman to his body, trying to replicate the same hold that his boyfriend had put him in. He flexed his bicep and turned a little, trying to find the right fit.

"Harder…" Roman managed, rubbing Seth's arm cooly. Seth tried, really throttling upwards as Roman kept his arm high, looking into the mirror and relishing the sight. 

For a little while, Seth just squeezed and moved around, self-conscious of the fact that he was probably botching one of Roman's most complicated sexual desires that they'd come across. Roman kept adjusting his head, trying to help Seth strangle him properly as he kept his hand up in wait.

In the mirror, his face was red and labored, and Seth could see his dick was actually leaking through the shorts, a tiny spot of moisture in the polyester mesh. Seth's own cock throbbed a little at the sight and he pressed his head to the back of Roman's, breathing in his hair.

Striking gold, Roman's elbow suddenly began to sink and Seth could see a moment of rapturous joy fade from his boyfriends face, turning apathetic, slackened and dull. Seth's heart beat erratically and he panicked for a moment, seeing Roman's eyes go half lidded. He released and stared down, watching him twitch and convulse. 

_ Fuck _ , Seth thought, remembering what he was supposed to do, but so disturbed by the whole thing that he was transfixed. Roman didn't look aroused or excited at all, so wholly compromised by the act that he was drooling into his beard. 

Seth began counting in his head, without any real idea of how long it would take for his boyfriend to actually wake up. In all of about five seconds, he'd slipped out from under the man as suggested, moving to the other end of the bed to make good on his promise. He flinched when Roman made a guttural snorting noise and shook hard, but Seth took his cock in his mouth all the same, grinning against Roman's crotch as he imagined himself doing CPR. 

There was some relief when he felt the dick fatten up again in his mouth, but nothing really prepared him for the breathy little yell as Roman came back to life, remembering where he was and what was happening. Feeling incredibly self-congratulatory, Seth looked up and found his boyfriend's eyes as he sucked loudly, taking him down. 

"Holy shit,  _ holy shit _ ," Roman panted, his face contorted in pleasure and praise, "Oh m-my god-"

Eager to please, Seth swallowed him down as best as he could, gagging against the huge dick as Roman trembled and came in ropey threads down his throat. It was perhaps the most ridiculous thing he'd ever done, but Seth knew he'd at least made his lover happy with whatever he could do. It was a nice feeling, and if Roman had felt at all uncomfortable over the whole porn thing, Seth hoped he was undoing some of that embarrassment with his mouth.

Pulling himself back up again and trying his best to keep the spit and spunk from leaking out of his mouth, Seth just put his hands to his hips, grinning like a well fed cat. His hair was a mess around his shoulders and his heart was still racing from all the activity, but he was immensely proud of himself. 

"Babe," Roman breathed, gasping and blinking hard, obviously still affected by his brain losing air. "That was… fucking…"

"I  _ am _ pretty great," Seth smiled, sneaking in to climb over Roman's chest and rest his chin on the man's breast. Roman breathed hard and managed a kiss on Seth's forehead before he sank back, overwhelmed but grateful. His hands found Seth's scalp and he scratched lightly, just staring in awe. 

"That was crazy though, goddamn," Roman exhaled, rubbing his own face. "I might need a sec here…"

"Take your time, it's fine," Seth chuckled, rubbing Romans head and outlining some sweat that had gathered above his eyebrow. "You want some water or anything?" 

"Yeah… actually." Roman cleared his throat. Seth kissed his forehead and got up, walking to the kitchen and pulling his hair back into a bun with the hair tie on his wrist. He wanted some water for himself too, his throat felt funny from giving head, so Seth took a moment to drink from a glass at the sink. 

Kevin's head perked up from where he was lying on the couch and the dog barked upon hearing footsteps at the side door. Seth watched as the door knob turned and Dean walked in, carrying his work-bag and wearing a pair of sunglasses. 

"Wassup," he mumbled, putting his bag down and imitating Kevin's yappy barks. Seth nodded and swallowed, pouring another cup to drink from. It wasn't until Dean took off his glasses and let out a low whistle that Seth realized his dick was still poking up incredibly obviously against his pants. 

"Crickey," Dean said, taking off his sweatshirt and toeing out of his shoes. "Where's the big guy?"

"We're messin' around in the bedroom," Seth admitted, palming his dick and blushing hard. "Down for the count."

"Well hell, I guess I should tag in," Dean said, walking over and grunting as he felt up Seth's crotch. They grinned, devious as ever. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's the last chapter of 2018! Happy New Year friends. I posted this a little early because 1-I got a little donation and 2-Just in case you're bored tonight, you have something to read! This chapter a lot of people have been asking for, maybe inadvertently, but I meant to include it a little earlier in the plot so it's been a long time coming. 
> 
> If you enjoyed this, please let me know! Had a great comment last chapter about how Roman bottoming isn't believable since he's the big dog, so if you're imagination sucks, make sure you check out my tumblr blog for some great gifs of Roman looking like a slutty bottom! 
> 
> (I really don't care what anyone thinks, it was just funny is all, I know a great deal of you love bottom-Roman XD)
> 
> Much love to KenjiDeath for the beta. Next chapter comes in 2018 <3 To The Rescue is now 2 years old!


	4. Cheap Steel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cesaro returns home. Trouble at work? Seth checks his email and Dean makes use of his amazon gift card.

The prospect of picking Cesaro up from the airport was a good distraction from a strange day, something to look forward to while Seth ran around cleaning and helping with the White Water fundraiser. Kevin was still working with the contractors, and Seth was able to confirm most of the numbers on his list without too much trouble.

The only strange thing was the particular number belonging to Hunter's friend Joe, who Seth had tried to call the previous day. Hunter had said the man owned some kind of Polynesian food establishment, and Seth idly wondered if Roman knew anything about it. 

"Hello?" a voice crackled over the receiver and Seth wet his lips to begin talking. 

"Hey, this is Seth Rollins, I was calling from White Water-"

"Who gave you this number?" the voice said gruffly. Seth stopped, furrowing his brow. 

"Uh- I'm… calling on behalf of the White Water Fun Center, for our annual fundraiser-"

"Take me off the call list, I don't want it," the voice said urgently. In the background, Seth thought he could hear heavy machinery or a busy kitchen. 

"Do I have the wrong number?" Seth asked, a little puzzled at the contact information he had. All Hunter had written was  _ Joe _ . 

But the line went dead before Seth could get a response. He stared at his phone, feeling pissed off as he checked the number in his phone and the one that had been typed onto the printed document. If Hunter had been correct about the deposit needing to be paid, surely this guy would want his money, right? 

Seth tried calling the number a few more times before he quit, only getting the same robotic explanation about Joe not having a voicemail set up on his phone. For a few moments, Seth pondered bothering to text the man, but his voice had been firm and aggressive, and Seth was sure he didn't want to aggravate him. 

Leaving the little meeting room behind the lobby desk, Seth decided to tell Hunter about what he'd been unable to accomplish, but apparently he and Stephanie had left early for the day. Their office was dark and vacant. 

"Their kids have a spring recital," Sami explained, leaning on the counter while Seth looked at the paper dully. "What did you need?" 

"Nothing, I'll just put it on their desk." Seth shrugged. "How was Montreal?"

"Great!" Sami said brightly. "Cold, but fun. Got to go see a show with some of my old friends and catch up with family. The usual."

"Nice, that's cool," Seth said, flexing his thigh a little. His knee was a little more sore than usual that day. "Glad that you got to do that."

He left with Roman as usual, who seemed to be in a bit of a daze since the choking incident they'd engaged in less than twenty-four hours ago. Seth had teased him lightly about how dopey and relaxed he'd been all morning, making them coffee, but Roman seemed to be immune to criticism as he slowly buttered toast, grinning stupidly. 

"Turn signal Uce?" Seth mumbled, watching his boyfriend slowly curve through the turn lane, apparently too distracted to bother. "Are you okay? I didn't wreck your brain, did I?"

"Mm? Nah," Roman laughed, blinking hard behind his sunglasses and unconsciously putting a hand to his throat. "Just the opposite, I feel great."

"Okay well," Seth chuckled, kneading his leg, "I don't think I can do that for you _ all  _ the time, I don't want to get your hopes up or anything-"

"Nah, no." Roman shook his head. "That probably  _ would  _ wreck my brain. What you did was awesome, but I'm not going to demand it all the time or nothin'..." They rounded the block, stopping as a woman was walking her dog across the intersection. "I just haven't got to do that in a while… feelin' good is all…"

"If you say so," Seth said, checking the temperature on the car's display. It was about 82 degrees. 

"Did it freak you out?" Roman asked, looking over to Seth seriously. Seth shook his head. 

"No, I think the freakiest part was when you tried to do it to me, but I dunno…" he said. "It wasn't like… really cool seeing you blacked out, but once you started moving and shit, I mean… I could tell how much you liked it."

"Well, I really appreciate it," Roman said, rubbing his chest. "It's not something that's easy to ask for, with good reason. I'll let you bring it up if you wanna do it again." 

"It's no problem." Seth smiled, feeling very comfortable with the proposition all the same. "I know you don't wanna kill all your brain cells."

They arrived home to find a mysterious long package waiting by the door and Seth picked it up, looking at the label curiously. It was from Amazon, according to the tape on the side, reading DEAN AMBROSE across the first line of the address.

"Oh, did he use his gift card?" Roman asked brightly, watching Seth turn the package over and hearing a dull thunk of the object against its container. The box was shaped like a long stick. 

"Guess so," Seth said. "He didn't tell me anything about it."

The mysterious package was set on the coffee table and Roman went to study while Seth reheated some chicken from their dinner a few nights ago. Cesaro messaged him at some point, saying he was on the plane and should be in Florida in a few hours. Satisfied that he had some time to kill, Seth relaxed on the coach to watch a taped episode of Game of Thrones.

Halfway through, Seth fumbled with his phone, suddenly remembering to check his email. Feeling the familiar distracted guilt, he managed to get his Gmail open without any issues and found the message his mother had sent, which had included some sort of attachment. Opening the document on his phone, Seth sighed a huge breath of relief as he saw that it was a receipt for his medical bills, which appeared to be paid in full. 

**Everything is settled now, I worked with Grandpa and we got it all handled over the internet. We had a discussion about his health and some things that he has noticed and we are going to meet with a doctor this weekend and see if we can't come up with some tests that might help us going forward.**

**Love you sweetie!**

**Mom**

"Well that's good," Seth said aloud, slumping into his seat. He felt bad for his grandpa, sure that the conversation with his mom had been a tough one. For a moment, he tried to imagine how difficult it might be to convince his own mother that her memory was going or that her quality life was deteriorating. Perhaps Don already knew these things, but Seth imagined that it was very hard for such an independent man to face up to reality like that. 

"What's up?" Roman asked from the kitchen island.

"Nothing…" Seth muttered, more interested in the television than some explanation. "It's all good."

But needless to say, Seth had a lot to consider as he rounded into the airport pick up area a little later and looked around idly for any sign of his friend. Because of Cesaro's injury, Seth though he might be having a hard time at baggage claim, and he wondered if it might be nicer to park and actually go inside to assist. According to his last text though, it seemed Cesaro was fine, at least managing to type out a response quickly with one hand. 

Seth checked to see if his car was clean enough to rest against before doing so, tapping his right foot against the curb and leaning his weight into different parts of his foot to test his knee. He'd have a busy weekend in a few days to look forward to, with a physical therapy appointment and an extended inservice to follow. There were still things he needed to unpack around the house too, and more and more, Seth was looking forward to the week after next where he'd be oceanside and worry free. 

Always in a hurry to occupy himself, Seth pulled out his phone and began googling attractions in the Florida Keys, looking occasionally to see if a traffic cop was coming by to hassle him. 

After only a couple minutes, the automatic glass doors opened and Seth put his phone down and grinned hugely as he saw the familiar face of his friend standing by the entrance and looking around. His arm was in a sling and he was holding a thick winter jacket in his hands that obviously was superfluous in the current climate. 

Seth rose off the curb and couldn't stop himself from ambling over enthusiastically. An older woman, an employee of the airport, was walking behind Cesaro and apparently assisting him with his bags. As soon as Cesaro spotted Seth, he grinned back.

"There he is! And he is walking!" Cesaro laughed, extending his good arm to catch Seth in a hug. 

"I know! Crazy right?" Seth cackled back. "Here- lemme help, how was the flight?"

"It was fine, I only had to fly to New York first." Cesaro offered Seth his large luggage piece with a second duffel bag propped on top of the handlebar. Relieved of her burden, the woman nodded to them and proceeded back inside. "Had enough coffee to keep even myself awake." 

"Well hell, how long was it anyway?" Seth asked, beginning to lead his friend back to the car. "Like ten hours or something?"

"More like, fifteen." Cesaro nodded his head in a modified shrug, conscious of jarring his shoulder. "But you are walking!"

"Yeah yeah." Seth waved it off and pressed the keyfob to spring his trunk open. "Still can't work out or anything…" 

Cesaro looked about the same as ever, except for his bad shoulder. The last few times Seth had seen him, he’d looked rather obviously downtrodden and anxious, but apparently some time home had done him well. Assisting as much as he could, Cesaro handed Seth his bags as they loaded the car up. He managed to maneuver himself into the Cadillac with relative ease, buckling his seat belt one-handed.  

"Is it easiest to just head up Semoran?" Seth asked, pointing the the boulevard and looking over his shoulder as they pulled away from the curb. Cesaro pocketed his phone and nodded, unable to stop grinning.

"So, how has everything been?" he asked, re-adjusting his sunglasses. "Work? You are moved in with Roman and Dean now?"

"Yeah, yeah, it's alright," Seth said, coming to the line at the light and sighing a little. "It's good that it's all wrapped up, but it might be a little weird that his parents are my landlords. Work's about the same as ever."

"I saw that email about the new guy, he is cool?" Cesaro asked. Seth grunted, shaking his head.

"No, he's  _ supremely _ uncool. He's like, the least cool guy ever," Seth moaned. Cesaro laughed at his vehemence. Seth continued, "It's bullshit that Dean didn't get it. This dude wants people to call him  _ Miz _ . It's so stupid."

"Miz," Cesaro chortled, rolling the name over in his mouth carefully. " _ Miz _ …"

"Right? It's ridiculous." Seth snickered, drumming his hands on the steering wheel.

It was plenty dark outside by the time they arrived back at Cesaro's condo, but Seth was over eager to see his friend and wasn't in much hurry to run home. He was sure it was technically late for Cesaro, after all they'd been texting for weeks and Seth's phone had been prone to buzzing at all sorts of odd hours, but despite the occasional yawn, Cesaro looked similarly excited.

"My keys are actually in that bag," Cesaro muttered, pulling himself out of the car as they parked in the dedicated parking spot outside his condo. Seth opened the trunk again and insisted on helping, watching Cesaro sort through the front pocket and groan as his keys, passport and a few receipts came tumbling out. 

"Take your time," Seth said, setting the luggage pieces on the concrete before he stooped to assist. "Are you hungry? I bet you don't have much food."

"I will have to check," Cesaro grunted, pushing himself back up. "I think I may have one or two of those pre cooked meals I can thaw."

"Screw that," Seth scoffed. "I'll order a pizza or something! Get you all settled."

"It's really no problem," Cesaro laughed. "TJ is bringing my car back tomorrow and my kitty. I do not have much to do until I have my first PT appointment anyway. I will shop-"

"Nah, nah," Seth said enthusiastically, making his statement. "My treat, I swear."

Cesaro's condo reminded Seth a lot of his own apartment that he'd had in the later weeks of February. The whole place was hot and stuffy, and Cesaro urgently shuffled to the central air control, making sure the unit would be comfortable for the night. Seth helped move the bags over the threshold of the home, and Cesaro quickly said a few words in german to his family over the phone, likely assuring them he'd landed and was alright. 

"Here," Seth said, plopping down on the couch and bringing up the website for delivery. "Davanni's okay?"

"Oh, yes, uh, whatever you would like," Cesaro said offhandedly, opening one of his bags to produce his insulated water bottle. Seth put together an order for a supreme pizza and Cesaro produced him a cool glass of ice water before putting a record on to play over his turntable. 

"So how was it though?" Seth asked, feeling as though he hadn't really gotten a satisfactory answer. "Seems like you had a good time. You were sayin' you didn't really get to see your fam that much, right?"

"Yes, fam was good." Cesaro nodded, massaging his neck a little where the strap of his sling was resting. "Yes, despite it all, they were very happy to see me."

"And your surgery was all paid for? In taxes and what not?" Seth asked curiously. Cesaro blushed and nodded. "Lucky bastard."

"Yes, I was surprised I was able to get it all sorted out as quickly as I did," Cesaro said, sitting down on the sofa next to Seth and slowly taking off his sling. Seth watched as his friend winced a little, letting his arm rest in his lap. "But it was okay. I think my mother and father wanted me to stay for longer, but I wanted to be back here and keep up a relationship with some of my clients. I think a few of them will continue working with me, the ones that do not need a lot of demonstration at least."

"You can still do that?" Seth asked. Cesaro nodded, slightly hesitant.

"It is a case by case basis. I had one man who wanted to learn more Olympic lifts and I decided to refer him to another trainer, but once I begin to get my range of motion back…" He gestured with his good hand. "Most people do not want to do anything fancy, they just want to lose weight. I can show them with lighter weights and things to demonstrate."

"Sure." Seth nodded, touching his own knee. "That's good at least. Hunter's had me doing lots of stuff here and there, just so I can keep a paycheck. I dunno when I'll actually be able to guard again though. I'm going to talk to my own PT this weekend about it probably."

"We're going to the same person I think, actually." Cesaro grinned. "Doctor Del Rey? She is actually very well known in women’s rehabilitative health. I believe I saw her at a conference before, doing something about knee valgus or pelvic floor disorder. I do not remember exactly."

"Huh," Seth said, not really sure what to make of Cesaro's analysis. "Yeah, she mentioned she was seeing you. She's helped me a lot… I'm not a chick but she seems to know what she's doing with knees."

Cesaro nodded again and Seth put in the order for their food. He was fairly certain they were listening to the same record as the last time Seth had visited, right after Cesaro had been injured. For a few minutes, they bantered about the music set up, and Seth himself wondered if it wouldn't be smart to invest in a nice turntable. Roman and Dean weren't really the type to collect records. 

As the room began to cool, Seth listened for some time about Cesaro's own family and the trip to Germany he'd taken with his brother for a few days just last week. Like Seth, Cesaro also had an older brother, though they were blood related. Apparently they'd both been lifeguard certified together, under some european certifying agency.

"He has visited once before. We went to the one park, Universal Studios," Cesaro said. "Anyway, after the surgery I was very loopy for a few days but I helped my mother around the house. I met with some older friends for a few days and went to church with my parents- just a few things I have not done in a while. My brother Claudio and I went to a few restaurants I missed too." 

"I hated taking drugs after," Seth admitted, shaking his head. "How was your pain? Is it still-"

"It was not great, but I am doing okay," Cesaro said. "I actually got acupuncture done after too, and that helped some."

"Really?" Seth said incredulously. "I never thought of doing that. It for real worked?" 

"I have done it before, it didn't make it all go away or anything, but I feel it helped keep me from taking as many pills," Cesaro said, smiling lightly. "Everyone is different, but I felt it assisted." 

"Wow, huh…" Seth blinked, shaking his head. "Go on, sorry." 

"It's nothing really," Cesaro said, leaning back in his seat. "But… well, I got the surgery and I had a talk with my parents one night too, about a bunch of different things. I ended up seeing a therapist twice before I left also, just to discuss some things. I wanted to make the most of the time I had there and I think it helped me a lot just to sort some things out before I came back. But it was a very strange time, I really didn't have much to do other than see the doctor and having that person there was helpful."

"Yeah?" Seth asked, his brow furrowing suddenly. He really didn't know how to react to such a thing. "Are you… okay? Or…"

"Of course." Cesaro nodded and his nose twitched a little. "I don't know… I have been wanting to see someone for some time now, just so I can check in, but I felt sort of biased against an American doctor."

"O-oh," Seth said awkwardly. He wasn't really sure what to make of the situation. If Cesaro was telling him about his therapy so that Seth might ask about it, well, Seth  _ would _ , but it seemed uncharacteristic of his friend to just say something like that. Cesaro had never said anything previously that would make Seth assume that he might need a therapist, and Seth didn’t really known anyone who had seen a therapist before.

Well, at least he thought so. Seth reminded himself that he didn't know everything about everyone. He struggled for a moment to come back to the conversation and Cesaro looked as though he was caught between being amused and a little nervous.

"Really, it is nothing, you do not have to think anything of it," he said, waving his fingers. "I am not in any danger and I do not have any desire to hurt myself. It is not like that."

"But, it helped? Right?" Seth said stupidly, shaking his head and blushing. "Sorry, I just, I don't want to ask anything weird or anything…"

"No, no! It's fine," Cesaro said. "It was very helpful. It helped keep me focused on what I was doing and sort of gave me some time to talk and get some insight."

"Sure sure." Seth nodded, still feeling out of his depth. Luckily, his phone began to vibrate and Seth looked at the number, sure it was the pizza man. He hopped up and crossed to the door while Cesaro opted to put on a new record for their late dinner. 

He wasn't really sure why the therapy thing had tripped him up so much, it was only that Seth was so sure of Cesaro as this incredibly stable individual in his life. He looked up to him a lot, and had always weighted his advice very heavily in his head, whether it was about his relationship or his exercise form. Seth surely didn't want to judge his friend or alienate him for seeking help, he just didn't know what to say. 

Though, Seth couldn't debate the logic of being a little introspective, especially since both of them were sort of sidelined by their own bodies. Seth went about helping his friend carry a paper plate of pizza to his resting spot on the couch and Cesaro thanked him repetitively for the food order. Both men were in a lot better spirits than the last time Seth had visited right after the Superbowl. He'd remembered Cesaro saying a lot of things about how unhappy he was with his life, and Seth really hoped his friend truly was more satisfied. 

"My PT was saying I should maybe see a therapist," Seth offered, trying to find some lead into the conversation and promptly stuffing pizza into his mouth. "Th'aid… th'omethin' about it when I first wen' 'n and was all mopey and stuff."

"Yeah?" Cesaro said, wiping his mouth with a napkin. 

"I mean, I didn't obviously," Seth said, finding a lie to cover for his own awkwardness. "I just thought it was really crazy how you found a therapist while you were injured and recovering from surgery and everything. I don't think I could have managed that."

"Another reason why I do not trust American doctors," Cesaro chuckled. "The system just isn't efficient when you need it to be."

"Well, it's cool though man," Seth admitted, looking fondly at his friend. "You seemed like you were having a really hard time when you left, I'm glad goin' home was good for you. I was just worried I wasn't going to see you again or something."

"Oh no, I'm here," Cesaro assured him. "You are stuck with me."

They ate a few slices and Cesaro pressured him into trying some of the Swiss chocolate he'd brought back in his suitcase. All the while, it was very light hearted and Seth felt stupid, thinking too much into what his friend had said. Obviously everything was alright and if it wasn't, Cesaro would be as honest with him as he needed to be. They traded stories about their travels and Seth felt a little bashful as his friend prodded him to say how much he enjoyed living with his boyfriends. 

"It's been great, yeah." Seth shrugged, feeling his face warm. "It's been awesome because now I can more or less walk okay too, that's a big part of it. But they were really helpful and it's cool being able to kinda… be a group I dunno…" He laughed, trying to be bold and cool about it. "No major complaints I guess."   


"Nobody snores?" Cesaro laughed. Seth blushed harder. 

"They do sometimes." Seth rolled his eyes. "What?"

"Nothing, I am just glad you are happy, that is all." Cesaro beamed. "Maybe you could have a housewarming party or something. You did not do something like that yet?"

"Mm, no, maybe," Seth mumbled, wiping his hands and setting down his plate. "Been busy and all, we never really thought about that I guess."

The two men parted ways as Cesaro began yawning more and more and Seth himself was beginning to feel tired. With some assurances that they should hang out next week sometime, Seth saw his way out and drove back to the house, changing the radio station distractedly every few minutes. He rolled the windows down and tried to enjoy the night, feeling aimlessly annoyed that he had to work the next day. 

He'd have to find Hunter and explain the weird conversation with the guy named Joe that was still unresolved. Seth wasn't really excited to admit that the phone conversation had been weird, but he also supposed it was possible that Hunter had given him a wrong number or something. At least the issue with his grandfather had sort of been resolved, though Seth wasn't anticipating any good news from the upcoming doctor's visits. 

Pulling into his usual parking spot on the street, Seth sighed as the headlights died with a turn of his key. He locked up the Cadillac and ambled up the street, forcing his walk to steady out despite some tenderness in his knee. All the lights were on in the house, but Seth could hear voices outside in the backyard. He followed them, slightly perplexed to hear a woman's laugh ringing over the fence.

"Oh my god! I can't believe you broke it all the way apart!"

Seth blinked, already cocking an eyebrow as he opened the fence and peered inside. Roman and Dean's friend Renee were whooping and hollering, holding drinks and cuts of fruit while Dean was bouncing up and down, holding… a sword.

"Holy shit!" Dean laughed, picking up a watermelon from the ground that appeared to have been cloven in two. Upon seeing Seth, his grin widened. "Sup Babe, want some fruit?"

"What're you…?" Seth was completely confused, watching Dean stab the melon with the tip of the sword to bring it up to head-height. It was a Japanese sword, not unlike the ones Seth had seen in his brother's facebook posts.

Suddenly, he recalled the thin package from Amazon and Seth spluttered, "You got a  _ sword _ ?" 

"Yeah, it was only 50 bucks so it's kinda shitty," Dean said, handing Seth a dirty piece of watermelon and wiping the blade on his pants. "But it cuts melons good."

"Did you want a drink lil' Uce?" Roman asked. "How was Cesaro?" 

"He's… fine…" Seth said, shrugging a little and watching Kevin run circles around the little group, patrolling eagerly. "I'll take a beer."

As it was explained, Roman had been particularly curious as to what Dean had purchased with his gift card and opened the box after Seth had left. Not really surprised, but still amused, he had then texted Dean that his sword had arrived and so Dean and Renee both had gone to Publix to pick up melons to try to slash through. 

"I can't do it!" Renee laughed, apparently thinking twice about her ability to cleave a cantaloupe in half. Seth watched, sipping on his beer, as she laughed and tapped the fruit with the blade. "For being cheap, this thing is super sharp! Someone should take my photo!"

"Sure." Roman smiled, taking her phone. Renee posed while Kevin barked in the background, barely illuminated in the dim porch light. 

"Did you guys still go out after club?" Seth asked, looking to Dean, who was licking fruit juice off his fingers. His face was rosy and he looked a little drunk.

"Mmyeah, just to Eskimo Joes," he mumbled. "Had some business talks."

"Business?" Seth asked. Roman nodded, sipping off his own beer. 

"Dean-o's going to meet with some people that run a fiber business through the farmer's market," Roman explained, tipping his beer in Dean's direction. Seth's eyes widened. 

"Yeah?" he asked, wondering how Renee was involved. 

"They know some'a them people that run the club and they're looking for help," Dean said, toying with the hilt of the sword. "I might learn some more stuff about wool and shit though, I think they do soap stuff too." 

"Oh yeah? Going to start stealing fat from lipo-clinics?" Seth asked with a grin, referencing  _ Fight Club _ . Dean chuckled. 

"I thought he might wanna do some cool stuff like that, he's such a hit with all the knitting ladies," Renee said, joining them at the table and looking at Dean fondly. "You've got juice all in your beard."

"I'm juicy," Dean said, licking his lips. "We'll see tho', might be cool. Who knows. I need activities."

Seth picked his way through more watermelon as Dean tried to convince Renee to throw rinds in the air so he could strike them down. It was a cute, if not maybe a little flirtatious as the two laughed, shoving at each other as Renee insisted she couldn't do it and Dean tried to convince her to at least give it a shot. Roman sighed, spreading out and wearing the relaxed dopey grin he normally wore after a drink or two. 

"The chickens are going to have a feast tomorrow," Seth noted, laughing at the hunks of fruit that were strewn all over the yard. Roman snorted, lifting his shoe and making sure that he hadn't stepped in any. 

"Hope we don't get raccoons, jeez." Roman sighed, looking up the Dean. "Dean-o! You're cleaning this up!"

"No I'm not!" Dean laughed, squawking as Renee nearly lobbed a rind at his head. Both of them swore and burst into laughter, doubling over. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just in case we haven't all seen this video: ( https://www.instagram.com/p/BVqhWh1lpvl/?hl=en&taken-by=reneeyoungwwe )
> 
> Cesaro's back! Seth's dumb, really it's business as usual. Dean's on the upswing and good things are coming for him after a lot of suffering through Part I. Next time, Seth pushes himself to the limits a little and we see a character that hasn't been in To The Rescue before...


	5. Broken Balance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seth pushes his limits and Roman's losing patience.

The chickens indeed had quite a smorgasbord of fruit to choose from the next morning and Seth watched, drinking coffee from one of Roman's mugs as the birds clucked and barreled after scraps around the backyard. All three of the men were a little tired and absent minded from such a fun night, but Dean still seemed eager to explain what Renee had talked to him about in greater detail.

"There's these two ladies that run this really big fiber booth at the flea market," he mumbled, shirtless and drinking some coffee that had been heavily laden with creamer. "They've done demos at the club before with spinning and stuff, but they're needing a lot more help 'cause I guess business is going pretty good. Renee said that they were looking for someone that can just help with sales, but also knows some stuff about fibers and things like that." He scratched at his bare chest and took a bite of toast, shrugging. "I th'old her I'd be down."

"And that would just like, be a weekend thing or something?" Seth asked, reasonably impressed. "You'd get paid hourly?"

"That's the thing, I dunno." Dean shrugged, licking his lips. Roman gestured for the pepper shaker and Seth passed it on wordlessly. "I'm not above doin' it for cheap. I think it's more like I could get really discounted supplies and learn stuff from them. I just need to see if I can change my availability at work. I got Saturday classes comin' up."

"That's still really cool though." Seth smiled, wicking up the dregs of runny egg on his plate with his fork. "Cool of Renee to bring that up to you too."

"Yeah, she's a doll," Dean sighed, brushing crumbs off his leg and rising to stand. "Gunna shave quick, I don't need the shower…"

"We still need to clean out the fridge tonight," Roman said, a little louder as Dean began to make his way down the hall. Seth sighed, finishing his last bite of toast and giving the refrigerator a reproachful glance. "I already tossed a bunch of expired crap, y'all just needa check your leftovers."

"I'm probably fine, I just moved in anyhow," Seth said weakly. Roman scoffed. 

"Yeah but you've been here long enough. You both can argue over who wipes it all down, I don't care. I'm handling all the set up."

Seth made a whining noise, wholly uninspired to do such a boring, gross chore. There was already a fat bag of laundry that he needed to wash, full of Dean's guard shirts and Roman's swim trunks. Seth didn't want to spend his late afternoon doing a bunch of housekeeping, especially with the last few boxes that needed to be moved. 

Going to White Water and power washing the floors was enough to make Seth sure that he'd hire his own cleaning service if he was ever financially stable in life. Since he'd taken over Kevin's duties to keep the facility clean, his hands were dry and cracking from using the degreaser chemicals. His body was always vaguely sweaty from moving around and his fingernails were always lined with a thin trace of dirt. There was some sort of meditative aspect to maintaining the building as well as doing household chores, but Seth was usually too mentally preoccupied to really feel complete. 

Really, he just wanted to be lifeguarding again. Away from the miscellaneous tasks of unclogging toilets and washing windows that children had streaked fingerprints upon. He wondered how many weeks it would be before he was allowed to put on a tube again and do the job he'd initially been hired for, and every few minutes he leaned hard into his leg as though to test it. The joint was still tender, and Seth was still finding the limits of a pain-free range of motion that he'd established through all the physical therapy he'd done. 

Realistically, there probably wasn't going to be any moment on the lifeguard stand that really required him to put any undo stress on his leg, but Seth obviously couldn't risk endangering someone else's life just because he wanted to get to work faster. He kept remembering the cardiac event he'd addressed right before his injury and Seth's anxiety ratched up instantly. 

"Hey janitor," Sasha said teasingly, watching Seth reline the garbage bags in the lap pool as she strode down the deck. Only two people were swimming back and forth, regular and consistent. "What's the haps?"

"The  _ haps _ ?" Seth said, wrinkling his nose. "Couldn't tell ya."

"How  _ are _ you?" she amended, her gaze flicking down to his knee in the sort of annoying way everyone was assessing him lately. "How's life?"

"It's fine." Seth shrugged, fluffing up a new trash liner and fitting it in the can. "Can always complain, but it's not horrible."

"I've been meaning to ask you too-" Sasha said, drinking from her water bottle and snapping her fingers suddenly remembering. "You get off before four usually, right?" 

"Uh, probably like two or three, I've kinda just been leaving whenever Uce leaves," Seth said, blinking. "Roman, I mean."

"Right." Sasha grinned, standing beside Seth but still looking to the pool. "Well, Bayley's a CrossFit junkie now and I've started going to the yoga place right by her gym. It's pretty fun and it's just for like an hour. I dunno if you would want to do something like that, or if your knee would let you… I know that you were trying to exercise and stuff…"

"I can do  _ yoga _ ," Seth snorted, almost offended by the insinuation he was incapable. "My knees fine for  _ that _ ." 

"Oh! Yeah?" Sasha said, laughing. "You should do it then! I like to go to the the Bikram classes 'cause they match up perfectly with her WOD thing and we get out around the same time. Have you ever done that before?"

"I haven't but I'll still do it," Seth said emphatically, tossing the smaller trash bag into his large collector. "No sweat, I'll do it. I definitely need it. Cesaro's not going to be able to do anything for a while probably." 

"Cool! Well, I'm going to the four o'clock class," Sasha said beaming. "If you really think you can handle it, it should be really fun! I got five guest passes, but Bayley only goes once a week with me. You can use her mat probably."

"How's she liking CrossFit?" Seth asked with a smile, wheeling his collection of trash towards the side door. Sasha followed behind. "She all wiped out after?"

"Yeah, I dunno how you guys did any of that stuff. I dunno how she does it while she's in school, I think I'd be exhausted all the time," she explained, shaking her head and toying with her whistle. "It's a date then?"

"Should… be fine, I might actually have some workout clothes in my bag too, but if I gotta dip home quick it's no prob," Seth said, thinking hard. "Thanks a lot… Sash…"

"Don't mention it! I need a buddy!" Sasha said, waving him off at the door. 

Hunter and Stephanie were apparently out again on some sort of business, though Seth couldn't be sure as Sami didn't know and there was no indication of an outgoing note in the dark, shared office space. It wasn't uncommon for one or both of the bosses to be out, but Seth didn't want to forget his note about the restaurant deposit. There was only a few weeks left until the actual event, and he wasn't sure how quickly White Water would need to cut a check. After he'd finished his cleaning duties, Seth took a short break, thinking that he might give Hunter some time to show up so they could talk face to face.

Admittedly, as soon as he saw Dean outside smoking a cigarette, Seth sort of forgot about what he was supposed to be doing.

"Can't believe the park's already openin' again soon," Dean said pointing to the trucks parked by the gate. A few contractors were unloading some cleaning supplies. "This place is gunna be bananas for a month."

"Yeah?" Seth said, leaning against the building and biting into a Quest bar. "Does it get really busy that first opening week?"

"Oh yeah," Dean sighed. "Last year Hunter had to call in a bunch of extra guards. I think we'll be pretty okay this year, but it's always kinda nuts."

"Guess it's kinda good I can't guard then," Seth chuckled, watching his boyfriend tap ash on the ground. "You havin' a good day though? I might be done early since Hunter and Steph aren't really around."

"Yeah 'm just avoidin' Miz." Dean shrugged, sniffing. "Gunna call those ladies once I get done with my private lesson. See if they wanna meet up."

"The flea market ladies?" Seth asked, wiping crumbs out of his beard. "I'm gunna go do yoga at four with Sasha I think. Just gotta drop Uce off at home."

"Yeah them." Dean's eyes narrowed. "Didn't… Uce want us to clean stuff?"   
  
"Oh… right," Seth sighed, remembering the fridge. "Well, the yoga thing should just be an hour. I can do it when I get home. If I go through all the food, can you like, clean the insides of the thing?"

Dean just hummed, inserting his cigarette butt into the ashtray collector on the outdoor garbage can. For a moment, he looked like he wanted to question Seth's plan, and they awkwardly hovered, unsure. 

"Is that not cool?" Seth asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Huh? Oh." Dean shook his head. "No, I don't care. I just don't even know why we're getting a new thing anyway."

Seth's mouth twitched and he shrugged, similarly unconvinced that the new appliance was of much importance. Really, regardless of the swap, he knew the refrigerator needed to be cleaned out. There wasn't really any issues with the unit keeping their heavily stacked goods cool, but the bottom gaskets were getting a little gross with stray bits and crumbs.

"I dunno, but at least we don't gotta pay for it," Seth mumbled. "Can't argue with someone else's charity."

"It's just wasteful," Dean said, tousling his own hair to his liking. "If he wants to take a perfectly good fridge to the dump, I ain't helpin' him."

"Okay… well…" Seth blinked, rubbing his own wrist. "I'm sure it'll all be fine…"

He didn't want his relationship troubled by something as stupid as a fridge, but Seth did think Roman was being a little stupid about the whole plan. Really, Seth just didn't like being bothered over and over about things that he was going to handle on his own timeline. Whether it was laundry, vacuuming, or cleaning off the kitchen island, Roman always seemed to tiptoe around what he wanted in the most frustrating way. 

It wasn't so much what he said, but the sort of dull-eyed expression of confusion Roman wore whenever he was trying to get his point across. 

"Do you think I could drive?" Seth asked Roman as they made to leave work that day, walking across the hot parking lot. "Sasha invited me to this hour long yoga class, I was gonna go at four."

"We gotta clean," Roman said, pausing his consideration over his keys and looking to Seth with open palms. "Remember this morning when I said-"

"It gets out at five," Seth said emphatically. "I'm not gonna ditch out."

"I kinda wanted it done before dinner." Roman sighed, tossing Seth the keys to the Jeep with a tired frown. "That way we got room to store leftovers." 

"What are you makin?" Seth asked, trying to change the subject. Roman, mumbled something about not being sure until he got home to check. The car ride was a little awkward, but Seth tried to stay upbeat and look forward to his workout. Roman was just tricky sometimes, often falling into his little broody silences whether or not he was actually upset about anything. It was always possible he was entertaining some sort of drama with his family over the ordeal, but Seth knew he couldn't justify taking out his frustrations on his boyfriends. 

"Did you want me to pick anything up while I'm out?" Seth asked, trying to be considerate as he gathered his things. Roman just set his bag down on the table and shook his head. 

Undaunted, Seth tied his hair up in a neater bun and slipped on a loose pair of shorts that he'd often worn for working out. It seemed like ages since he'd used his plastic water bottle, and he gleefully tucked a bag together, already sure that he'd be feeling better after a quick class. 

"Are you even… supposed to be doing yoga right now?" Roman asked as Seth slipped on his shoes, humming with excitement. 

"I feel fine," Seth said simply, standing up to his full height and surveying the kitchen area. Kevin was eating from his food dish and Roman apparently was getting ready to do work for his online class. "I love you," he said, almost apologetically, sliding on his sunglasses.

"Love you too," Roman grunted. Seth shut the door politely and slowly, making his way to the Jeep with a spring in his step. 

**Sure its cool i use bayleys mat?** Seth messaged Sasha, unaware of how much it might cost to purchase his own at the studio. He was pretty sure that he'd seen the facility several times as he passed by it to go to the CrossFit box, more often than not with happy people talking and milling around outside. Traffic was light and Seth patted the steering wheel, watching the scenery go by. 

**Yeah u can just wipe it off good after, they'll give u sweat towels and stuff id just bring soap if u needed a rinse or something** she replied back. Seth raised an eyebrow, one eye peering at the stoplight while the other thumbed out a quick response 

**Im good** he sent, accelerating quickly as the light turned green. It was just yoga after all, his CrossFit instructors had done a few poses with his classes on occasion. It wasn't really going to be a  _ challenge _ . 

Parking was a little difficult, but Seth found a less densely populated street a few blocks away. Pushing the bag over his shoulder, he made sure to put up the sun reflector for good measure. 

"I parked forever away because I got a tea at this one place that does Boba," Sasha explained, jogging up to him on the sidewalk outside the studio and looking overwhelmed by her belongings. She handed Seth an extra purple mat and he nodded, pinching the material between his thumb and forefinger as if to test it's durability. "You ever have this stuff?" She held up her drink. "With the tapioca pearls?"

"Mm? No." Seth shook his head, following her inside. "Did Bayley come with you?"

"Yeah, but she left a little early, I dunno if they start the classes early or what…" Sasha sighed, adjusting her purse over her shoulder as they stepped into the lobby area of the studio. A few people were browsing the selection of high end sweatshirts and mats, but a small, simply dressed younger woman was checking in guests with a tablet. 

"It's actually sort of a second level class too, I sort of forgot," Sasha said, looking mildly apologetic as they moved forward in line. "It's really chill though! I can't do everything, but you just follow along at the speed you can. It's no problem. The first few times I got really sweaty and had to stop for a bit. You just listen to your body."

"I'll be fine," Seth laughed, toying with the mat in his hands and looking around the room skeptically.  "I'll be slow or whatever, but I'm still sort of in shape."

"Bikram though," Sasha said cryptically, shifting forward as they came to the front of the line. "Hi! I brought a guest today!"

"Do you have your driver's license?" the woman asked Seth, swiping her hand to the side of her screen and turning it. "I'll just need you to sign this…"

Seth didn't know _Bikram_ yoga meant _Hot_ yoga, and he frowned slightly, following Sasha to a warm studio that took up the whole back side of the building. The lights were low and dim, hanging from the wooden rafters of an exposed ceiling. In the corner, wood blocks and straps were resting by the wall, and a few other participants were already sitting in front of the mirror with their mats rolled out, stretching quietly.

"How stuffy does it get in here?" Seth asked, plopping down on the floor next to his friend as she set up her area with her towel and water bottle. 

"I think like 95 degrees or something," Sasha said mischievously. "Not too hot for you, right?"

"I guess we'll see," Seth scoffed, rolling out the purple mat and sitting on top of it. In front of them, the huge wall mirror reflected the room and Seth toyed with a stray bit of hair resting on his shoulder. "Sometimes I'd do CrossFit with those big service doors open and it felt like hell with all the warmth coming in from outside."

"I like sitting here cause there's the vent," Sasha explained, pointing toward the ceiling. "It cools the room down every few minutes and it feels really good."

"Bayley does this with you sometimes though?" Seth asked, feeling a little stupid bringing up his friend's girlfriend so often. There were times were Seth wasn't really sure what to ask Sasha about, and he felt like he was under a microscope during some of their conversations. Sasha apparently didn't seem to mind though and she just nodded, leaning forward to fold over her legs. Her long nails reached for her toes skillfully.

"Yeah, she's all about her CrossFit though. I'm so scared she's gonna bust herself like you and Cesaro." 

"She's fine." Seth rolled his eyes. "Cesaro's back now too, he's starting his therapy stuff soon."

"Really?" Sasha said, popping up. "That seemed so quick. How long was he even gone for?"

"I dunno, since that dinner we had at Joe’s." Seth tried to think how long it had been but just shrugged and began stretching as well. It felt good to straighten his legs. 

"We should all get dinner again sometime," Sasha proposed. "That was fun, I mean, just to kind of hang with the people at work that aren't totally annoying, maybe not so much the injury part."

"Maybe, he seemed a lot better the other day. I picked him up from the airport," Seth said, mindlessly following whatever Sasha did. He didn't really know the names of many yoga poses, but he could do a downward dog okay. 

"You having a good time living with your boys though?" she asked, her voice pinched slightly as she lifted her hips in the air. "How are the chickens?"

"They're fine, it's all fine," Seth said. "Well, I'm probably supposed to be home cleaning out a fridge right now. Roman's family is buying us a new one and the house is kind of a mess 'cause I'm still kind of unpacking."

"I can't imagine cleaning up after Dean," Sasha sighed, "if his office is any indication."

"But it's so clean now!" Seth said, brushing hair out of his face. More people were arriving and he felt a little strange as everyone else in the room was so quiet. "It's not that bad really. We're all civilized."

"I'll admit like, he has gotten a lot more clean since you guys started being a unit. I guess Roman's rubbing off on him."

" _ I'm _ clean," Seth teased. "Sort of."

"Bayley's kinda a kid about cleaning," Sasha admitted, rolling her shoulders back and forth. "It's rough, I try to give her a pass 'cause she's in college…"

"Did you ever decide about moving in together?" Seth asked, remembering what Sasha had told them the last time they'd hung out together. "Weren't you guys talking about that?"

"Kind of," Sasha said, pulling a face. "Sort of…"

Before she could elaborate much more, a very tall man came into the room wearing just a pair of skintight leggings. His body was barrel like and enormous and his hair was shorn short. At first glance, Seth never would have guessed him for a yoga instructor- he just didn't fit the bill at all. But at the same time, Seth was glad the class wasn't being taught by someone that looked too much like a washed up hippie. 

"Namaste class, my name is Glenn Jacobs and I teach all of our level 2 hot yoga classes," the man explained, turning the lights down to a more dim and relaxed glow. A few people muttered hello and Seth watched as the man walked up and down, surveying all the students. "We're going to be working more with handstands next week, but for today… I want to explore our mountain poses…"

Glenn was ruthless in immediately hiking the heat up several notches, and without much provocation, Seth was already sweating fairly hard. Most of the men in the class weren't even bothering with shirts, so Seth took his own off in a huff, placing it beside his mat by his water bottle. 

"Single leg Tadasana with our arms above our heads, find the space in your chest as you open up," Glenn said calmly and smoothly, reaching his own hands up. Seth thought if he jumped, he could easily touch the ceiling. "Find your balance by squeezing your inner thighs, coming up to bend and find your breath."   


Seth wobbled a little dangerously and he frowned, watching most of the class push their right legs up and hold them in the air with a soft bend. Sasha occasionally faltered, putting her foot back down to lightly find her balance, but Seth was sure it was mostly just the soreness and stiffness in his joint holding him back. While he could bend and move around at work or at home, it was all very intentional, and he always favored his left leg. If Seth had to bend over, he was hinging a lot more at the hips lately, and if he had to come down to sit, he usually kept his leg straight until he could let it bend softly without having to bear his weight. 

Breathing hard and feeling sweat bead up heavy in his eyebrows, Seth sighed, trying his best to follow along, but mostly just touching his foot to the mat over and over again. Glenn watched with an odd expression on his face and Seth stared ahead at the mirror, gazing at his reflection. 

Other than his knee, it was difficult to follow along with everything Glenn was doing and keep up with the demanding pace. Mostly everyone in the class looked as though they were fairly experienced at yoga, even if they weren't very flexible. It was frustrating for Seth, who was sure that even in his post-injury state, he was probably one of the most 'in-shape' people in the room. Some calming ukulele music played softly over the speakers, but the panting rhythm of everyone's breath and the slide of sweaty feet on the mats were the loudest. 

"Are you okay?" Sasha mouthed, chancing a glance at Seth as they were cycling through a series of downward dogs, up into standing. Half of the cycle was sitting in a lunge, and Seth was having trouble admitting that it really was out of his wheelhouse.

"Focus on your breath and listen to what your body is telling you," Glenn said, his voice cutting a little louder over the warm air as he nodded directly to Seth. "All poses are optional."

Seth just shook his head, disappointed in himself as his knee began to feel tender and aggravated. The class was a lot more difficult than he'd thought, but he was also feeling distinctly annoyed with Sasha for not explaining that Bikram  _ meant _ hot yoga. It was one thing to be doing poses that forced his knee to sit into a bend it wasn't used to, but the heat was making him feel loose and a little lightheaded. When there was a brief period to catch a drink, Seth tried not to be too obvious, guzzling water from his bottle and patting his chest with a towel to wick away the sweat. 

"Some class," he said to Sasha breathlessly, wiping his forehead and squinting a little. "Haven't had this much sweat in my eyes for a long time."

"Sorry if it's a lot," Sasha said, looking similarly pressured by the heat, but a lot more composed. "If we waited a half hour, we could have done the level 1 class…"

"Forget about it, it's fine," Seth shrugged, not really meeting his friend's eyes as he saw how red and ridiculous he looked in the mirror. His hair was frizzing out to a comical volume and all of his body hair was coming together in a wet swirl. 

For the last half hour, the class focused on a lot of core work, which felt a lot better for Seth, though he had to admit defeat on a lot of the split-leg poses. A plank was fine, but the warrior pose was torture. The leg lifts weren't a lot different from some of his physical therapy, but after so much activity, he really didn't want to push his leg to do anything too strenuous. Seth had worked all day already after all, and the thought of bending over and cleaning out Roman's fridge seemed like a real trial. His brain was as loopy and dim as after a heavy session of CrossFit, and Seth knew he was going to need a few minutes to sit before he got behind the wheel of a car.

"How did you like your first session?" Glenn asked as the class finished. The giant looming figure of the man was a lot to take in after such a physically demanding hour. Seth actually laughed, shrugging awkwardly. 

"You don't pull any punches, I'll give you that," he said nervously. Sasha looked a little concerned, but remained quiet as the man dusted off his hands and rambled some information about class sessions and packages. Seth was barely listening, caught in some other dimension of exhaustion and exertion. 

"Do you want a coffee or something?" she asked, watching Seth slide back into his shirt and grimace a little at how sweaty he still was after toweling off. The room was cooling off now and most of the students were on their way out the door. Seth just shook his head, trying to clear it.

"No, I'm fine, I just need water," he said, blinking a few times. He checked his phone and noticed a text from Roman, but didn't swipe to read it. "I'll be fine."

"Sorry again though," Sasha said, toying with her own phone anxiously. "Does your knee hurt?"

"Yeah," Seth said, chuckling a little from his own honesty. "It's… it's fine though… My own damn fault for trying."

"But still," Sasha sighed, standing up and holding out her hands so Seth could be helped to his feet. Their fingers tangled a little in sweat and Sasha laughed, holding him by the wrists and nearly face planting as Seth pulled his weight. Both were laughing and blushing, making their way to the exit where Sasha was insisting she wanted to take a quick rinse before meeting her girlfriend. 

Seth took a few minutes to just sit, and felt himself start to come back to life a little, breathing in the cool air and paying more attention to his phone than the group of students coming in for the next yoga class. His knee was very tender and his walk was rather lopsided again, but Seth found a knee-sleeve in his gym bag that didn't smell too bad. He slipped the cover over the joint and grimaced when he felt some swelling. It was still better and more supported than before though. 

**Can u actually pick up cream cheese from the store** Roman had texted their group chat. Seth was sure it was presumably for him, but Dean had added  **Huh** and then  **oh** a few moments later, likely confused. Roman responded with  **Im making chicken alfredo** and Seth closed the conversation, sure that he could grab some from the Publix that was on the way to the house. 

Some movement in his periphery stirred his attention and Seth turned his head. Bayley was waving enthusiastically outside through the glass, clearly finished with her workout of the day. 

"How was it! Was it super fun?" she asked, clearly restraining herself from hugging Seth as she came inside. Seth shrugged, absentmindedly touching his knee. 

"Wish I was doin' what you were doin', I don't think I'm a good yogi," he mumbled, patting the purple mat lightly. "Don't worry though, I wiped all my germs off this."

"I don't care, I barely use that anyway," Bayley said, sitting down next to Seth and setting her bag on the ground. "Today was super fun. I miss Cesaro a bunch, we're starting with clubs and I think he would have really liked that." 

"Yeah, probably," Seth said, trying to hide the sound of defeat in his voice as Bayley launched into her own assessment of her mobility for doing olympic lifts. He wanted to be happy for his friend, and usually wanted nothing more than to talk about CrossFit. But as his knee was throbbing with his heartbeat, Seth mostly just wanted to be alone and away from his own pain and disability. Despite how much the class was different than his initial expectations, he still felt weak and incapable. 

"I'm still dirty, but I'll wait till I get home," Sasha said, emerging from the women's changing area and smiling wide as Bayley made to stand. Seth struggled a little to get to his feet, but saddled his bag without any help. "Are you going to be okay to drive?"

"Yeah, of course," Seth said, still sure that his ability to shift between pedals wasn't compromised. "What uh… what were you guys goin' to go do?"

"I have to study some, but I could eat," Bayley said enthusiastically, looking to Sasha. Sasha looked considering for a moment, pushing her glasses up her nose and weighing her options. 

"We could maybe grab some grub," she said, poking her foot over her girlfriend's athletic shoe. "I'll drive you back to campus at least. Did you wanna tag along?"

"Huh? Oh, nah," Seth said, sniffing a little as he stuffed his water bottle back into his bag. "Gotta do those chores…"

The walk back to his car seemed to take longer than it would have if he hadn't taken the yoga class and put so much pressure on his knee. Before he did anything when he got home, Seth knew he would need some ice and some ibuprofen to stop his kneecap from getting more puffy and swollen than it already was. The air was annoyingly humid and thick as he got into his car, and at first, Seth just sat back in the seat, enjoying the blast of the air conditioning on his face as his whole body prickled from the sensation of sitting in the warm seat. 

Looking down at his knee with a sort of grim resignation, Seth knew he was going to get scolded when he went home. He really wasn't supposed to be doing yoga or anything too strenuous with his lower body still, and Seth hoped he could take some time to just sit and eat and let his body come back to life a little before Roman expected him to do a bunch of chores. 

It all seemed so frustrating and unfair. Seth quickly stuffed the aux cord for the stereo into his phone and began blasting  _ The Plot to Bomb the Panhandle _ by A Day to Remember, pulling out of his parking spot a little too eagerly, feeling the wheel of the Jeep kiss the curb of the opposite side of the street and jar the car a little. Unrestrained, he sang along as he sped down the street, tossing his head and belting out  _ I'm not your fucking game… I'm not so easily beat _ , as out of tune and as nasally as the song had probably ever been sung. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kane the Bikram yoga instructor everybody.
> 
> Sorry if these sort of feel like filler chapters- the vacation is really what sort of kicks off this second part's main storyline, but it's all building up to something. Next chapter the boys get their hands on a new fridge and make some plans concerning the Easter holidays! Please comment if you enjoyed this chapter and if you have a couple extra bucks you'd like to throw in my coffee tin, I'd be very gracious. Thanks! <3


	6. Lateral View

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys get a new fridge and Seth gets a little sneaky. What are the boys doing for Easter?

It was difficult to hide exactly how much his knee was hurting when Seth got home and Roman was predictably exasperated as he made up the sauce for their fettuccini. Both Dean and Seth had stopped for cream cheese, but the surplus would have been more comical if Roman wasn't so annoyed. 

"I'm fine, really," Seth mumbled, trying not to stir himself into a mood as Roman gave him a stern look from the stove. Without really meeting his boyfriend's eye, he tugged a cold pack out of the freezer and made to sit on the couch, still a little bleary from the exercise and heat. As though sensing the poor energy, Dean escaped outside, dragging his cheap sword around in the dirt as the chickens scuttled around in his wake. By the time dinner was ready, his hands were dirty from what Seth could only guess was cleaning out the chicken coop and stirring the compost pile. Roman set the table before Seth could, and passed everything around a little aggressively when they'd finally all gotten settled in their seats. 

"Tomorrow when we get off, we're going to Best Buy," he said matter of factly, pushing a length of hair out of his face as he lowered his mouth to his plate.

"I might need to meet those ladies," Dean said cooly, dumping cheese on his plate. Roman blinked.

"We all agreed to this at the beginning of the week," he grunted.

"I told you I didn't want to," Dean said. Seth licked his lips, watching the conversation go back and forth. Roman looked like he was building up to be upset, but Dean clearly didn't seem to care or notice, more intent to examine the food in front of him. "I don't care what we get."

"Yeah, but it's more the fact that I  _ wanted _ you to," Roman said, leaning back in his seat and folding his arms. "We might need help getting it in here and making sure it works and all that. You're a part of this house."

"You're gunna buy it from the store and their gunna probably move it in here and install it for part of the price, you know that right?" Dean scoffed, glancing to Seth to gauge the conversation. "Why can't I just go and do my thing?"

"I'll go," Seth said lowly, uncomfortably aware that Roman had made them all dinner and was now looking at the both of them like ungrateful children. "I can go instead of him."

" _ You're _ gunna help me get a fridge over the steps?" Roman asked, his eyes flicking down to Seth's knee. Seth felt anger pooling in his chest and he drew his eyes back down to his plate, awkwardly. His knee was still hurting even after some ibuprofen, but there wasn't much he could do. It was difficult to really fault Roman for wanting their company to ensure everything went okay, it was just that neither man could muster up the excitement to do something so tedious.

"I'll be fine tomorrow," Seth said firmly, looking at Dean and feeling his exasperation double as the man just kept eating garlic bread like nothing mattered. "We'll figure it out Uce… I'm sorry I blew you off earlier. We'll get everything cleaned up tonight and tomorrow it'll be no sweat."   


It was as much resolution as Roman was going to get, and the rest of the night passed in the same sort of disconnected hum that had preceded their meal. Roman took the keys to the Jeep and said something about going to the gym, and Dean washed dishes quietly. Stripped down to just a pair of sweatpants and a loose beanie hat, Seth had to smile as errant dish water splattered on his bare chest. 

"You want me to put 'em outside?" Dean asked as Kevin came over to inspect Seth's refrigerator task. The dog was incredibly curious as Seth sat in front of the open appliance with a thick sweater. Heaps of Tupperware and juice jugs sat on the floor while mounded frozen goods were stacked over his bad knee, keeping it cool. Seth hummed, wiggling his toes in some lame attempt to ward the dog off.

"I think there's one of those dentist stick things in there… yeah…" Seth watched as Dean opened up the bottom drawer of the kitchen cabinet. Immediately Kevin's ears perked up and Dean tossed the treat into the living room. Like a bullet, Kevin took off and Dean snickered.

"I think you should do what you want," Seth began to say, taking advantage of Dean's wandering attention to express what was on his mind. "But maybe you wanna do something for Uce just so he knows you care about him and stuff. He did kinda expect us to help him and we've been sort of dropping the ball lately."

"Who's we?" Dean said, raising an eyebrow. Seth turned pink, feeling a little hurt.

"Okay, I'm the weak link.  _ Fine _ ," Seth grumbled. "I'm almost done moving all my shit so it's not in the way." 

"I don't care about your stuff, s'not what I'm saying." Dean shrugged, turning to his dishes and feeling around in the soapy water. "Just that Uce wants us to do shit his way all the time, like it's the _only_ way to do stuff and get stuff done... and it's fuckin' stupid. This might be his house, but it's not like we don't clean our shit. If he could, he'd prolly like glue coasters to all our cups and have us dusting every week."

"He's not that bad," Seth said calmly, raising an eyebrow. "Uce just likes stuff a certain way."

"He's spoiled, you don't gotta dance around it," Dean said rubbing his nose with his wet wrist. "Normally I don't care, just… it's stupid we're getting a new fridge. We don't need it. His parent's are all up in his shit about it, probably cause they're all arguing about which one he should get or whatever. Texting him all the time."

"Are they?" Seth asked. Really, he hadn't noticed much at all. Dean just shrugged again, unhelpful. 

"Just stupid," he repeated, draining the sink and looking down to the stacks on the floor. "You almost done?" 

"I was saving the freezer for last," Seth said, tipping a couple of old food containers into a trash bag. "But really dude… I get Uce can be frustrating, but we gotta be cool with some of it, yeah? It's maybe kind of wasteful, but it's not really our problem. He told us it was happening in advance and he probably wouldn't have gotten all pissy about it if you had told him earlier that you had other shit to do. What's the guy supposed to do?"

"Yeah, well, I dunno." Dean sighed lamely, turning to lean on the sink. "Better luck next time or whatever. How's your leg?"

"It's fine," Seth said, taking a bag of frozen vegetables off of his extended joint. "You ready to wipe this crap down?"

Dean just hummed, but Seth neatly stacked the food, extricating himself from the contents of the fridge and pulling himself up to standing. He winced and his knee popped sharply, promptly terrifying him. Apparently Dean noticed his pale and worried expression as he paused, watching Seth roll his weight around in his ankle tentatively. 

"You supposed to be working out and shit?" Dean asked him, parroting Roman's concerns. Seth just sighed, shaking his head.

"Didn't think yoga would mess me up so bad…" he admitted, hating how useless and hobbled he was. Thankfully though, his joint seemed stable as it could be and Dean hovered, patting him on the small of his back in a semi-comforting way. 

After a modified shower of sitting on the edge of the tub in lieu of standing, Seth wandered into the bedroom to change and didn't feel inclined to leave. Dean had stepped out of the house for a moment, and Seth couldn't hear Kevin's collar jingling around anywhere so he supposed they were out for a walk. As the last of the daylight shone extra bright through the bedroom window, Seth rubbed his bath towel vigorously over his long hair and caught some moisture trickling down his sideburns into his beard. 

The day had been alright, even if it had ended sort of poorly. With all the fraught emotional misfirings going on between the three men, Seth wondered dully if the situation would be solved if there wasn't just a conventional relationship coupling without a third person. Obviously, he wasn't properly upset with Dean or Roman, but he did feel like a man caught in the middle. 

Flopping down on the mattress and shivering slightly, Seth reminded himself that there really wasn't anything going on that they couldn't handle either. It was all just stupid crap that would be solved the moment the new fridge showed up. If his leg wasn't so cumbersome, he'd probably feel a lot less anxious. Though, Dean's words regarding Roman's family made Seth wonder if his boyfriend wasn't having a rougher time of it. His mouth twitched for a moment, considering what his boyfriend's family might be saying in cyberspace, just as he heard a buzzing at the bedside table.

Mixed in around pocket change and some gas station receipts, Dean had apparently left his phone while he was on his walk. It wasn't unusual for him to leave his device behind, but Seth's interest was quickly piqued, wondering if Roman might have texted him. The phone sat, glowing tempestuously, while Seth considered, staring. 

Dean's phone didn't have a pattern or a password, and Seth's body acted unconsciously, his finger's sliding over the screen to unlock the device. Grunting a little so that he could ease off the mattress and pull it into his hands, Seth could see immediately it wasn't Roman's text on the screen, but Renee's.

**I would just call them tho instead of email i think thats the best way to get ahold of them** the message said. Seth blinked, feeling a little stupid. It was very strange to have someone else's phone in his hands and Dean's screen had cracks all down the left hand side, distorting the view slightly. His curiosity began to eat at him, and although Seth was thoroughly sure of the fact that Dean wasn't having a terribly interesting conversation, he knew that he should just put the phone back on the table how he left it. All the same, Seth  _ really _ didn't want to. 

Dean's phone background was still a picture of Crispy eating worms, clashing strangely with the sparse icons on his screen. There weren't any social media apps, and Dean didn't really seem to care about the order in which the pre-installed hardware was configured. Really, the only extra things Seth could see installed was some sort of photo editing software, the Uber app, and some free game that looked like billiards. It was all so fascinating and simultaneously obvious, and Seth tried to reason with himself, his finger hovering over his boyfriend's message inbox. 

_ No  _ he thought, frowning and shaking his head. He knew he didn't want Dean or Roman peeking at his own messages, even if he had nothing to hide. It was just weird, and even though Seth didn't really think Dean would care either way, he obviously hadn't asked. It would have been particularly awkward if Seth opened the message from Renee, taking it off his notifications. Maybe Dean wouldn't notice? It was still strange though. 

Seth just couldn't help himself from looking at the photo library however, which kept bringing up an urgent warning on Dean's phone, instructing him to free up space and run an update. However, Seth closed the window and plundered forth. 

His boyfriend took pictures of  _ everything _ , and Seth immediately smiled huge, slowly swiping down the collage of photos. Many of them were blurry duplicates, poorly lit or weirdly timed as Dean never really composed any sort of composition. Seth was barely aware Dean was even taking pictures most of the time, and his heart leapt with amusement to see a goofy photo of himself, sitting outside the picnic table of White Water and partially enveloped by a ring of Dean's cigarette smoke. 

Some photos were edited or cropped, though there seemed to be no rhyme or reason for the ones Dean chose. Seth felt a little strange, shifting through nearly a hundred photos of the night where Dean, Renee and Roman were cutting watermelons and playing with the sword. Selfishly, he looked for himself, trying to date the images as he passed them.

Pictures of the chickens. Pictures of trees. Pictures of Kevin being tugged along by a chew toy. A snap of some work document with a long number. Seth swiped through with sweaty fingers, frowning at images of Dean's old car. He paused, finding a very candid shot of himself and Roman lying in bed and snoring. Seth blushed, plunging further. He assured himself that Dean would be happy to show him these photos, and Seth had just never thought to ask about such a thing.

Pictures of food. Snapshots of the neighborhood from the seat of a bike. Knitting projects, balls of yarn, awkward pictures of the women at the knitting group in the library. Roman in the garden with dirt up to his wrists, cheesing. Roman in the kitchen with his hair down, looking confused. Roman naked for a shower, looking annoyed. 

"Where am I?" Seth pouted aloud, furrowing his brow. He giggled aloud at a picture of Roman flicking off the camera and trying to shut the door, apparently in the process of using the toilet. As the photos went back in time, the outdoor scenes looked colder and more drab, with grey skies. Anytime Seth was in a photo, he was wearing a brace, and Kevin's fur looked more raggedy. There was never a selfie mixed in, just Dean's own hands or feet, and in between critiquing his own appearance in the photos, Seth wondered what purpose all of these snaps really served. If Dean ever really looked at them or if they were just something he took inventory of in the moment. 

Kevin hopped onto the bed, but Seth ignored the dog, sitting up a little to ease circulation back into his hands. He went slower as he saw more pictures of himself, mostly in the background of pictures of knitting projects with his leg covered in ice packs. Seth was unable to stop himself from making a soft noise as he saw a series that looked to be from the orthopaedic hospital. 

It was weird, seeing pictures of something he had no memory of. A photo of himself, propped up in a hospital bed with an oxygen cannula wrapped around his nose. His hair was falling around his shoulders in a very loose bun, swaddled in a gown and a blanket. One picture just showed him alone and fast asleep, yellow in the light of the room. Another, Roman was sitting by his bed in a thick jacket, holding his hand sweetly. 

Feeling his heart melt, Seth could see Dean had taken a picture of his hospital band, and then, another picture of his own hand holding Seth's limp one. And then... a snap of soft serve ice cream. 

The wheels of the Jeep squeaked in the driveway and Seth's heart pounded hard. In an instant, he quit out of the photo application entirely, tossing the phone on the table. He struggled, hastening to arrange it in a more specific orientation (as though it mattered) as he could hear Roman's usual path cutting across the house. Shoes were slipped off, keys had been tossed on the kitchen island, and water was being gathered from the tap. Seth quickly got up and tossed on a pair of boxer briefs and one of Roman's Georgia Tech shirts and limped into the living room. The visions from Dean's phone mixed with the adrenaline of the activity, putting his brain in a fuzzy place, but Seth tried to compose himself hastily. 

"How was the gym?" he asked, trying to make his voice sound cool and casual. Roman blinked and shrugged, not quite meeting his gaze. All of the pictures on Dean's phone had made Seth fast forget that Roman had been previously broody and he paused for a moment, thinking. "Is something up? I'm… here if you wanna talk or whatever…"

"I'm fine," Roman said, shrugging again. Though, Seth noticed he'd sprung for the Xanax bottle that was usually kept with Dean's stack of meds on the kitchen table. "Got a workout in. Always helps."

"W-we cleaned out the fridge," Seth mumbled, leaning on the wall. Roman nodded. 

"I saw, thanks," he sighed, scratching at his scalp. "I'm good, really, just… I'm getting attitude from my family about this shit and about Easter. Nothing I can help."

Seth nodded, drawing his gaze and wondering what to say. Dean had been right about his family, even if he was maybe a little insensitive. Though Seth was always a little annoyed by how cowed Roman was by his mother and father's wishes, he couldn't argue with the distress it caused him. Witness to the symptoms of the situation, Seth tried his best to push everything else that he was thinking of out of the way and be attentive to his boyfriend. 

"I'm sorry, if I was mad," Roman admitted, drinking from his glass and looking at the ground. "Need to be better about that."

"What all are they saying to you though?" Seth asked, wandering to the now spotless refrigerator and grabbing another cold pack for his leg. "What's the hangup?"

"They're trying to like, use it as leverage to make sure we all come to Easter, it's just drama," Roman said, moving to the living room so Seth could sit down comfortably. He plopped down on the couch and sat with his legs wide, breathing deep. "I was trying to tell them it might not be feasible since we gotta work right away and we'll just be getting off our vacation, like-" Roman gestured, rolling his eyes and looking exhausted just from explaining it. "Nothing I say makes a difference."

"That's tough," Seth agreed, settling down in the arm chair and putting his leg on the footstool. "Seems… manipulative."

"It totally is, but of course I can't say it like that." Roman nodded, looking to Seth with a hint of longing in his voice. "But… would you wanna try to go up there? Just for the day even? I could drive all night the way back and then we could just do the day there, see the family. We could just see about taking that monday after off. It wouldn't be so bad."

"You gunna be good to be with your family on no sleep?" Seth asked with a laugh, trying to be lighthearted. Roman deflated a little. "I mean…  _ maybe… _ "

"Last time… wasn't great," Roman said, turning a little pink as he recalled their Christmas trip. "It was too soon, like, we were barely even in a relationship at that point. It was stupid and I thought it was okay just because Dean's been up there so much, but we still should have waited."

"It's fine, really," Seth said quickly, privately in agreement. "I just… I dunno. I want to go, I just think logistically we'd have to plan it out right. I gotta figure out how we'd manage Kevin. How far is it to drive to Pensacola from the Keys?" 

"Like…  _ over  _ ten hours," Roman grimaced, rubbing his temple. "It's just… it's dumb. The only time we could have done this was the maintenance week, and my mom was so mad that I decided to prioritize a vacation over family. Even though I consulted with my siblings about it all while we were getting her fucking plane tickets for Samoa."

"If it's going to be too much trouble…" Seth began, biting his lip. He didn't want to say that they  _ shouldn't _ go on vacation, he  _ really _ wanted to go. Thankfully, Roman shook his head quickly. 

"No, it's all paid for, it's happening." Roman assured him. "I just know  _ I  _ gotta go home for Easter. Ideally I could get you both to come too, but it is what it is... I want you guys to have a choice and they gotta respect that." 

"Well, thanks for that," Seth said, his eyes darting to the back as he heard the fence click. Kevin came running into the view of the back door and through the glass, Dean was following after him slowly, smoking a cigarette. "It should all be fine."

"Yeah yeah," Roman agreed quietly. For a moment, they both watched Dean, wandering in circles as he turned to shepherd the chickens towards the coop for the night. They chuckled, watching Peep 2 anxiously hop around while Dean waved his arms, hollering. 

"Who's gonna watch the chickens when we're gone?" Seth asked, turning to Roman seriously. "Didn't you say the neighbors did that sometimes?" 

"Yeah, I'll pop by and maybe see if they won't do it. Roman said, yawning wide and looking much less anxious. "See if they want a giftcard to somewhere…"

Still rather emotionally exhausted, all three men seemed to retreat to bed at different times. Roman was first, obviously made sleepy by taking some medication. Seth followed a little after ten when he finished an episode of Game of Thrones. Dean stayed up, starting some new knitting project while the television started playing some other HBO show. It wasn't too unusual that they slipped into bed at different times, but Seth knew not to get too comfortable sprawling out over Dean's corner. The whole night, Dean's phone still sat on the tableside, largely ignored and still strangely tempting. On the whole, Seth didn't really think much about the act of what he'd done. But rather, he sat with a smile, thinking about how kind and loving his boyfriend's had been and still were. True to his word, it seemed that Dean hadn't taken any compromising video evidence of his post-surgical state. So Seth was content to imagine both of his boyfriends huddled at his bedside, stroking his wrists and keeping him company in his unconscious state. 

He slept a little restlessly, waking around two in the morning for seemingly no reason. His knee was feeling less swollen, but walking was still a little painful as he limped around to get water. Kevin managed to nearly trip him and Seth swore, spilling some of his glass of water. 

Annoyed by his dog, he slipped outside for some fresh air without his company. The bugs were humming loudly in the moonlight and Seth was a little surprised how warm and humid it was. Though it had never really properly been winter by his own standards, some part of him was disbelieving that it was still March. The surface of the little glass table was warm and Seth's spine tingled from the change of temperature as he folded his arms and sank onto it, letting his hair fan out wildly. 

_ A new fridge, some physical therapy, an inservice… vacation… then what? _ He thought sleepily, wondering vaguely about what his spring and summer might lead to. Things were always influx and changing, but now that Seth was settled at the house, he started to feel some sort of restlessness that he couldn't quite place. Perhaps it was because Roman was pursuing higher education and Dean was following his interests, Seth felt like he was just floating aimlessly in the current. 

He'd just moved, which was enough of a big step to throw him off a little, plus his injury had definitely set him back. At this point, Seth didn't know what he could squat or deadlift, and he knew it would be some time before he seriously tried anything that required a lot of bending of his knees. The slow pace of life was just frustrating, but Seth hoped he might be able to figure things out and think about where he wanted to be in the coming months. 

Hunter was definitely giving him some opportunities to prove himself at work, and with the fundraiser coming up, Seth wondered if it wouldn't be worth asking for a raise when he returned to lifeguarding. If his boss approved of him so highly as everyone seemed to think, Seth didn't believe it would be too awkward of a conversation. Once he was able bodied again, he could work even more and could maybe even be promoted to a management position. 

He yawned wide, looking up at the moon and scratching at his beard. Seth wished he could see the future a little more clearly, just so he could act more decisively. While the wild thrill of finally living with his boyfriends had worn off, Seth knew he wanted something more. Maybe it was money, or just a change of scenery. He was too tired to really dwell on it. 

After nearly snoozing off on the table, Seth shook himself awake and wobbled back inside. Returning his cup to the sink, Dean seemed to be waiting for him, half awake and open armed in bed. 

Seth hummed as he allowed himself to be enveloped in his boyfriend's arms. Roman was snoring softly and Seth shivered again as Dean's hands strayed to his sides, holding him close. Under his breath, Dean mumbled something inaudible, and Seth just purred, nuzzling closer and breathing the soft scent of all their bodies. The moon was shining through their window, annoyingly bright, but he managed to sleep till morning.

* * *

"The thirty-six inch french door here from Whirlpool-" the portly man from Best Buy turned and Dean snickered as he did a sort of curtsy, showing the floor model. "It has eight door bins, and two humidity controlled compartments here that you can see are very spacious. The exteriors are stainless steel and comes with a special coating that can prevent those unsavory fingerprints and general wear-and-tear."

"Yes, that's the one we want." Roman nodded, looking from a print-out of the refrigerator he'd apparently brought with him. Seth shuffled awkwardly from foot to foot, trying not to let on that he was feeling sore. After a long day at work, he would have preferred just going home and sitting down, but he wanted to keep up with his promise.

"Did you need to look at financing?" The man asked, looking between the three with a sort of bewilderment. Roman just shook his head. 

"No, it's fine, Roman said, looking at the floor model with only mild interest. "So long as you have it in stock and ready to go, we'll be ready."

"Swanky," Dean said, examining the huge appliance and kissing his teeth. Apparently, the women from the farmer's market had to reschedule their meeting anyway, so Dean came along after all. He was a little more bouncy and manic than usual, and Seth wondered if he wasn't trying to keep Roman's spirits up as they waited from the man to return with an Ipad to conduct the payment. The department of the store was empty except for them, the store by in large was pretty vacant. 

"Do people buy fridges on Amazon now?" Seth wondered out loud, looking at the lonely rows of washers and dryers in the opposite aisles, "Seems like that's the way things are going."

"I got the Best Buy card," Roman explained, pulling out a blue credit card and looking between his boyfriends with a soft smile. "This good then? This the one you guys want?"

"Would you change your mind if we wanted something else?" Seth snorted, "That thing is huge, but I don't care. Just means we can fit more crap in there."

"I bet we could get on my family's Costco membership." Roman said, eyes widening with a gleam of excitement. Dean was opening up the freezer compartment and was seriously looking around as though he intended to see if he could climb inside, apparently immune to Roman's enthusiasm for domesticity. 

"That's that big warehouse place right?" he asked, snapping the door shut as the salesperson returned for their payment information. Seth watched idly as Roman discussed the extended warranty options and pulled out his phone to check some extra information. Apparently, Lisa's name was on the credit card account, and Roman took a moment trying to explain the situation. Dean strolled around, whistling through his teeth and pretending the row of common kitchen appliances were wildly interesting. 

"He's happy you're here," Seth noted, watching Dean flop the lid of a waffle maker like a bored child. "You were right about his family bothering him."

"Yeah, I'm a good deducer," Dean mumbled, checking the price tag on the contraption and looking a little overwhelmed. "He's happy he gets to play house too though."

"Would you want to go to Easter with his family?" Seth asked quietly, watching Roman sign some electronic document. "I think that was the whole issue he was having with them."

"Sure, why not." Dean shrugged, "You don't?"

"I dunno," Seth said leaning onto the shelving unit to take some of the pressure off his leg. "Maybe…"

"You can either do a two hour delivery for 29.99 or a free delivery after four." The man explained, looking between Roman, Dean and Seth, still apparently trying to figure out the dynamic between them. "You fellas live in an apartment? Or…"

"It's a house, there's just a few steps into the first floor, nothing serious." Roman said firmly, putting his wallet back in his pocket and looking to Seth and Dean. "We got a lot of frozen stuff?"

"It can wait a bit, no sweat." Seth said, moving out of the way as a couple were making their way down the aisle. Roman nodded and Dean tapped the floor model refrigerator with his knuckle. 

"A-alright then," the man said awkwardly, "If you'll just… confirm this address for delivery…"

Anticlimactic was really the only way Seth could describe the way they left the store and nobody spoke as they made their way to the parking lot. Dean led the way, hands in his pockets as he shuffled ahead at a quick pace. Roman lumbered along after him, pulling out the keys to the Jeep and whistling to Dean to slow down as Seth took smaller steps. Despite all the petty drama and Roman's insistence to put down the seats in the back of the vehicle in case they needed to cart the fridge home themselves, the transaction had been pretty seamless. 

"Sorry… about everything," Roman said to both men as he slid into the driver's seat and started up the car. Seth could see his brow was a little sweaty and he _ ooed  _ against the air conditioning. "Just one more week till vacation…"

"Ain' no thang," Dean sighed, sinking in his seat and trying to crack his neck. "I'm gunna meet those chicks at club on Saturday, they said they hadn't been in a while anyway so it was a good 'nuff reason for them to go."

"Yeah… I didn't wanna mess that up for you or nothing," Roman said, fiddling with the gear change. "But… do you guys want to go to Easter? My mom really wants to know. I can tell her whatever about it if you're not feeling it, but… well, you at least would probably need to put in a request for time off." He nodded to Dean. "I'm… impartial... but I need to tell 'em something."

Dean just sort of shrugged and Roman turned to Seth in the backseat. His knee was buzzing and he was similarly sweaty from the high temp. Trying to gather his thoughts was difficult.

"I don't mind going, and I don't really care about the drive," Seth said, uncomfortably aware of how hard both of his boyfriends were listening to his every word. "But maybe like… I dunno. I feel like maybe I just want a place where we can kinda take a  _ break _ from your family if you get what I mean? I don't wanna be rude-"

Roman immediately chuckled and nodded, he looked to be in complete understanding.

"I just think I got really overwhelmed with everything last time, and I felt weird about taking breaks and stuff," Seth admitted. "Other than… the whole fiasco…"

"They really don't care if you do that," Roman assured him, blushing a little. "Like, take breaks and stuff. We all kind of have to do that, it's just hard to get away when there's so many people."

"What about your cousin's place?" Dean asked, "Or Summer or somethin'?"

"We could maybe do that, yeah," Roman said, a look dawning on his face as he apparently hadn't considered such a possibility. "I know Summer just has the one guest bedroom… but then, that might be Tamar's room now… I could definitely ask my cousins."

"Would that work?" Seth asked, trying to remember the two twins more specifically from his hazy memory.

"That gunna make papa bear mad?" Dean mumbled. Roman rolled his eyes, shrugging. 

"They'll probably say it's not  _ necessary _ , but if I just get it figured with Jimmy and Jey first or Summer or whoever. We can come up with something that'll make sense. Both of them are closer to the beach too, so that's nice. Just in case we don't get enough of it all week…"

"I'd… feel a lot better about that," Seth said, trying to sound more positive. "Just… just so we can visit and stop in and leave if we need to… I'm fine with being at the house for a while but…"

"Mentally it's a lot." Dean concluded. All three men grunted and Roman turned in his seat, visibly a lot more calm and content. Seth watched the bounce of his bun as he shifted the car into reverse and they left the parking lot in a few swift turns of the wheel. Inside his head, Seth felt a lot better, and plenty relieved that he hadn't gone so far as to offend Roman about his family situation. 

"So long as we get pictures with the kids doing their damn egg hunt, that's what everyone cares about," Roman said, his eyes flicking to the rearview mirror where he caught Seth's eye. In the passenger's seat, Seth could see Roman's hand searching for Dean's thigh, in the familiar way he often did with Seth. It was a little strange to watch, mostly because Dean didn't really know what to do with the affection, but on the whole Seth was glad that they seemed more cordial with each other now that the fridge had been sorted out. 

"Easter gunna be as big as Christmas?" Dean asked, giving Roman's hand a quick squeeze before it retreated. "Big ass chocolate bunnies?"

"Maybe, probably not." Roman said, loud enough for everyone to be included in the conversation. "It's definitely more laid back. Once church is done, it's a lot more relaxed-"

" _ No _ church," Seth whined, immediately groaning and falling limp against his seat. "No chuurrrrch-"

"Yeah, I'm good to rot in hell too," Dean agreed, laughing and looking back at Seth. "I'll eat jelly beans instead. No church." 

"You  _ can't _ skip church _ two  _ holidays in a row," Roman argued, "Really, it's not that bad, the service is less than two hours-"

Seth groaned louder, fully content to play the role of a petulant child. He hadn't been to a church service in ages and as soon as he was old enough to read about atheism on the internet, he'd never looked back. Dean snickered, and Roman began listing off the aspects of his family's church that made it different than other religious organizations. The air conditioning hummed loudly in the car and Seth smiled, watching the highway pass by as they merged to get into the correct lane. Dean and Roman bantered back and forth about Roman's catholic upbringing, but Seth lost thread of the conversation until a hand reached back and patted his knee lightly.

"Myuh?" Seth muttered stupidly, grinning at the weird noise he'd made. Dean's eyes flicked back to him in the rear-view mirror. In his hands, Seth could see him pointing the camera of the device towards the mirror. 

"Did you wanna get Wendy's frosty's?" Roman asked. His hand began fishing around in the side compartment in the center console. "I think we had a coupon."

"Uh, yeah sure, why not," Seth agreed, distracted. Dean hissed a soft  _ yes _ and Roman grunted, moving the steering wheel again to turn into the exit lane. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey so, I absolutely don't condone looking at your partner's phone if that needs to be said- but Seth's morality is a different thing. I guess I'll just let that be known going forth... 
> 
> Let me know your thoughts as always, it helps ground me in what I'm writing and give me enthusiasm to do so. Next chapter, we'll see the March in-service and more planning for the houseboat holiday. If you're curious to see them do anything specific on their little adventure let me know and I'll see if it doesn't have a place!
> 
> <3


	7. Treading Water

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The inservice. Mixed News. Cesaro makes a move?

True to his word, Roman went about setting up the refrigerator as soon as it arrived that evening, puttering around the house in a tank top and slip-on sandals. Just as Dean had predicted, the delivery person easily assisted with getting the unit inside the house over the step, and Seth mostly just sat outside with Kevin so his boyfriend wouldn't have to deal with the small dog running around their feet. 

The old refrigerator was placed in the very back of the garage, facing the corner. All of pictures of Roman's family, the Georgia tech football magnets and the sticky note pad had been removed to put on the new fridge, heaped on the kitchen island in the meantime. When Seth returned inside, bored with watching the chickens and checking his phone, Roman was putting stacks of food into the new unit, looking sweaty but pleased. 

"All hooked up, yessir," he beamed, "I feel like it's gunna be a lot more cold than the old one, so I just put it on half strength right now."

"Sweet," Seth said, staring up at the sleek dark refrigerator. It was a lot more looming and gigantic than the old fridge, barely fitting into the inlet between the wall and the counter. After scooping up the extra plastic wrap from the box it had come in, Roman made a drink and all three men crammed into the living room for a relaxing Friday night. Kevin sat on Seth's lap and for awhile, he was just content to stroke the dogs fur while Dean and Roman laughed at  _ Trailer Park Boys _ playing on the TV. 

His knee was still tender and sore, and Seth tried not to feel defeated again, reminded of his poor judgement regarding the yoga class. On Sunday, Dr. Del Rey would probably smile awkwardly and fold her lip before politely telling him he'd need to take it easier, and the thought of it all stung. Just barely two months had passed since his surgery, and while Seth had gotten used to slowing down and taking it easier, he felt as though if he just started moving around normally again his knee might pick up the pace with recovering. 

"I'm gonna make popcorn," Roman proposed. Kevin immediately leapt out of Seth's lap as the man had stood up. "Big bowl?"

"Mm," Dean agreed, looking a lot like a puddle in his sweatshirt, melted into the sofa. 

"I'm fine," Seth mumbled, still full of ice cream from their Wendy's trip. He was uncomfortably reminded that he was getting more and more deconditioned and soft from eating garbage. Roman just trod into the kitchen, pushing back his long hair.

His frustration was probably showing on his face some, as Roman seemed extra attentive to him that night as they fell asleep. Although it was nice to feel the larger man embracing him in his usual draping bear hug, there was some element of anxious suffocation to it all. Seth had to actively try to relax, feeling Roman's huge arms winding up around his sides, effectively tucking them together while Dean lay facing him, snoring with his mouth slightly gaped.

"You good?" Roman muttered in his ear as Seth readjusted, fidgety. Seth just hummed, sure in the fact that he just wanted to sleep. 

On the whole, the weekend was sort of over-warm and listless as the humidity seemed to kick off outside and Seth battled with the dull pain in his leg as he worked on cleaning the house and keeping his things in order. After a few un-caffeinated hours in the morning, spent going between the garage and the living room, all of the extra boxes and clutter were finally controlled. In and around the house, Seth had stowed his things to be the least obtrusive to his everyday life. 

The only things he'd really bothered to take out of storage were the random items that Roman didn't possess. The complete Harry Potter Blu-rays were something Seth usually dug into when he was sick, and so it was nice to have them readily available. In the bathroom, Seth brought his extra lamp that Roman had thought might look nice of the shelves with their towels. For the new refrigerator, Seth stuck one of the Iowa magnets his mother had slipped into his bag as a sort of memento from his parent's home.

Little traces of himself were all over the place now, and as Seth broke down the last cardboard box, he sighed, wishing he felt a little more fulfilled about the whole activity. Cesaro and Sasha both texted him over the course of the day to check in. 

**If anything happens at the inservice that is important let me know** Cesaro had messaged him a little after noon. Seth paused eating his sandwich and wiped his hand on a napkin before replying.

**Yea sure** he typed out  **going to ur PT appt?**

**Yes** Cesaro replied after a few moments. Seth blinked as he heard footsteps coming up the door and leaned toward the window, watching Dean fumble with his keys for a moment before stepping inside. Kevin came to inspect and Dean peered around to see who was home.

"Uce went to school," Seth explained, watching Dean nod and toe out of his shoes. "Wanted to study there I guess. How did that meeting go?"

"Real good," Dean said, walking to the new refrigerator to get a drink and pressing the button on the outside to receive crushed ice. "They're cool as hell."

The women that Dean had met with were apparently interested in expanding their business and were looking for someone with a flexible schedule and an interest in fibers. Dean plopped down into the adjacent seat at the kitchen table to explain it all and Seth smiled at his slightly sunburned nose.

"Yeah I was outside," he said, touching his pink cheeks. "We ended up just meeting at the market. These two chicks, Luna and Sherri, they run it. They both do like, a bunch of different stuff and I think they were sayin' they used to do costumes for theaters and clowns and shit like that, but they've gotten into doing fibers and made this business for general fiber arts stuff. They're gettin' older and like, they like doing distribution stuff more, so they want people to go to shows and sort of talk for them to make money."

"That's cool, and they'll compensate you then?" Seth asked, his eyes flicking to his phone as it buzzed again. 

"Yeah, yeah, not much, but they were saying I'd get a percentage if I'd wanna go to do shows by myself like later this summer and shit. Mostly it's more handing out business cards cause I guess there isn't a bigger market for whole fibers down here. Sometimes they just go to like, 4H shows with animals and stuff and have a presence there. I'm down to eat hot dogs and look at llamas."

"That's cool though, maybe you could make it a full time gig or something too," Seth said, brightening up a little as Dean just shrugged. "You never know. You seem into it."

"They're definitely cool enough, we'll see," Dean said thoughtfully. "I'm gunna try to fix it with my schedule where I'll be goin' on the weekends to sell and help them tear down afterwards." 

Roman came back around three-thirty, just as Seth was coming back from a short walk with Kevin. His hands and brow were sweaty from the wet, hot air and as he walked up the driveway his phone vibrated with a message from Sasha.

**Leg doin okay? U coming to the meeting tomorrow?** She asked. Roman pushed the door shut to the Jeep and Seth let go of Kevin's leesh.

**Yes** he typed back, quickly stowing his phone as Roman locked the vehicle. "Get lots done?" Seth asked, following him to the front. Roman nodded shortly.

"I just got a couple units left to do before we leave," he explained, opening the door wide enough for everyone to come inside. Dean was taking a shower and the whole house felt blissfully cool and refreshing. "Working here isn't so bad, it's just kinda nice to walk around the campus and take breaks. Grabs snacks and stuff."

"Too bad you can't jerk off to choking porn there," Seth teased, watching Roman set his Ipad sleeve on the countertop. The man blushed and looked away. "I'd say the house has school  _ beat _ ."

"I don't- look," Roman spluttered, embarrassed. "Working a part time schedule… you just get to act on your random midday boners a little more often-"

" _ College life _ ," Seth sang, patting Roman playfully on the ass. In an instant, Roman grunted, turning to squeeze him back, making Seth squawk dramatically. Still sweaty from walking around outside, he pressed himself as close as possible, humming and gazing up into his boyfriend's eyes hungrily. 

"You trying to watch some choking vids with me?" Roman mumbled, biting his lip and grinding his hard dick through his jeans onto Seth's hip. Seth swallowed, his excitement ramping up.

"Not  _ that _ ," Seth amended, sticking his backside out farther so it was easier to grab and hump. "Feels like a long time since you've… gotten up in me though…"

Staring at each other for a few moments, Roman gripped Seth's ass harder before steering him toward the hallway. From the bathroom, the noises of the shower water echoed softly and Seth's spine tingled at the idea of the men trading back and forth after Dean got out of the shower, dry and wet, pounding him into the mattress. 

* * *

"Has everyone signed in?" Stephanie asked, extending the clipboard out to the group sitting on the pool deck. Seth blinked and looked around as Baron grunted and motioned for the list. There were quite a few people at the inservice he didn't really know, and it seemed as though they were missing some faces. The pool had been cleared of patrons and so their voices echoed extra-loud across the deck.

The most obvious person missing was Cesaro, who had texted him that morning just as Seth was leaving the clinic himself. Dr. Del Rey had been kind enough not to chastise him too thoroughly regarding the yoga incident, but she shied away from answering any of Seth's specific questions about lifeguarding and exercise.

"You've come a long way in a short period of time already, just look here," She showed him the chart that she always carried around on a clipboard, indicating all the dates and times he'd visited since his operation in January. "You can do more time in the CPM, your gait is improving and your range of motion is getting better every week!"

"Yeah, yeah, I know," Seth sighed weakly, rubbing his left eye and trying not to sound too frustrated. "You've helped me a lot, it's just, I thought I'd be able to be doing more now."

" _ You've _ helped yourself a lot, Seth," Dr. Del Rey amended. "How's your pain doing?"   


"It's fine," Seth shrugged, laying back as his physical therapist went to grab the nodes for the STIM. "Nothing to report…"

He wasn't sure if there would really be much to report to his friend regarding the in-service either, as it seemed Cesaro wasn't really going to be attending work any time soon. Everyone on the deck was wiggling with enthusiasm and talking about how they were planning their week off of duty, relieved from watching the pool during their yearly cleaning. Sasha and Bayley sat in their swimsuits, talking merrily while Dean, Randy, Dolph and Hunter were passing around sheets, presumably to divy up the duties from the inservice. Taking inventory of his co-workers again, Seth realized that Neville wasn't around, or Nikki or Brie. The Japanese man that Seth had seen at the front desk previously was talking to Hunter, and the tall Punjab guy was talking to Xavier and another shorter white guy with a beard and brown hair. Seth wished he was a little better with names, looking to Finn, who was laughing with two bald men that Seth couldn't recall meeting. 

"Okay, so, I think we're all in. Make sure you fill out those time edits too-" Stephanie said, pointing to Dolph who nodded and began passing around slips of paper to everyone. "Alright! So, we've got one week left everyone!"

The crowd quieted immediately and Stephanie nodded in a sort of motherly, smug way. Dean fidgeted awkwardly and Seth watched him wiggle his toes on the cold tile. Out of everyone in the crowd, Seth was one of the only guard not wearing a swimsuit and so he sat apart, begrudgingly dry with his bad leg extended out in front of him. 

"I really do want you all to unwind and enjoy your time away. I know some of you are going to work some hours cleaning, but we'll be hitting the ground running on Monday with the opening of the park. I know a lot of you are familiar with the usual protocols, but we're going to meet for two hours today to discuss the additional EAP guidelines for crowds, severe weather, and chain of command for the water park. Who's been here before for the park opening?" 

Stephanie surveyed the few raised hands along the deck and Seth blinked, realizing just how new everyone was around him. Sheamus blushed slightly, sitting with his hand outstretched. Xavier, Kofi and E all hand their arms up. Charlotte looked bored and Sasha blinked, realizing she ought to have her hand raised as well. 

"It's a busy time, right?" Stephanie said, nodding to all of the regular guards who let their hands fall. 

"It sucks," Randy snorted, scratching at the polo shirt on his chest. 

"It can be hectic," Stephanie agreed. "Which is why I want you to pay special attention today, ask as many questions as you need, and get plenty of rest in your time off. The first week will be busy, and then the fundraiser will be spark a second wave of business that is part of our zero dollars down membership agreement for the rest of the month. We'll have a lot of people joining who've never been here before, and that means a lot of families that aren't familiar with the rules or pool etiquette."

Kofi mumbled something Seth couldn't hear and a few people snickered. 

"But basically, we just need to stay consistent," Hunter said, stepping beside his wife and folding his arms authoritatively over his large chest. "We've all been doing great and you guys always do a fantastic job to keep this place running. There's always going to be bumps getting into the park routine again, so if you feel overwhelmed, let us know and we can work as a team to make sure you feel confident and solid where you're at. Tomorrow, the guard schedule is going to be updated and so you should all know your shifts when you come back. Make a note of it if you need it, there shouldn't be any surprises there." Hunter's eyes lingered over Seth as he scanned the crowd. Seth held his gaze, nodding along.

"What I want to do-" he continued, gesturing to the crowd. "We'll get our assignments made up for the fundraiser, do a couple questions if we need to, and employee of the month before we split off into two groups to do the physical portion and the park walk through. That make sense? Okay-" Stephanie handed Hunter a metal clipboard and he looked down in, his brow furrowed and wrinkled. "We got a lot to cover here…"

Going through the bulleted list of extra items on the agenda, Seth felt particularly bored and unenthused as all of his lifeguard friends answered questions regarding safety and customer service. He knew all the answers of course, and he was annoyed with the whole process and mostly himself. That morning, he'd packed a swimsuit for the meeting, under the assumption that Dr. Del Rey might tell him he was magically able-bodied enough to participate. Seth tried not to beat himself up over it, but he was sure even just 100 yards of swimming would probably wind him unbearably and he'd look like a fool trying to keep up with his peers. 

The crowd laughed at something and Seth just sulked, scratching at his beard and fanning his hip back and forth. He just wanted to go on vacation and get a break from all of these reminders that he wasn't good enough. His phone buzzed in his pocket and Seth glanced at it very quickly. A text from Cesaro was on the screen… and his mom…?

"We're going to pair you guys up in groups- now remember, this is mandatory-" Stephanie said firmly, looking very serious as all the managers shuffled. "You're paid time and a half and it's always a really fun day where we get to meet with our community out of a bathing suit. Well, unless you're guarding the pool that day…"

"You're expected to be working in some capacity," Hunter continued, "We're going to hand out the sheets and our lead staff can help clarify any questions you have. Dolph has the master schedules for the day- and if you need to swap for whatever reason, we can discuss that in a moment. But first-" Hunter pointed, smiling wide. "Our employee of the month!" 

Seth picked at his shoelaces dully, but blinked as he saw Dean making a sort of goofy face in his direction. Seth craned his neck a little and realized Hunter was looking at him. 

"He's helped us a lot in the lead up to this event as well as being our extra darling behind the counter for the time being. When do you think you'll be back in the pool Seth?"

Someone cheered his name, but Seth was never positive if it was Bayley or Sasha as everyone started to clap politely. He scrambled to his feet and ambled over to receive the envelope in Hunter's hands. Awkwardly, Stephanie pulled him into a chaste hug, and Seth blushed, nodding to group.

"Oh, uh," Seth bit his lip, his heart trembling. "Shooting for April I guess?" 

"As soon as we can have you," Stephanie said sweetly. Seth just nodded, walking back to his spot with a little bounce to his step. He couldn't help himself from opening up the card and peeking at a crisp fifty dollar bill tucked inside. He felt light and incredibly surprised, it was difficult to focus on what was being said. 

"Great job everyone," Hunter said encouragingly, shooting Seth a rare wink. "Keep up the good work."

Everyone looked slight haughty and jealous as they began to talk about the fundraiser, but Seth didn't care at all. Pocketing the card, he could at least be justifiably pleased about his new parking spot for the month. For a moment, Seth wondered if he hadn't got it for that exact reason. His boss had probably felt sorry for him, hobbling around the lot with his bad leg. But Seth reminded himself that he  _ had _ done a lot of good work and despite his injury, had been pretty reliable for helping with random tasks. 

Dean walked over to give him his duty list for the fundraiser and clicked his teeth, snapping him out of his daydream. Seth peered at the piece of paper, which was actually personalized to each person. Randy and Dolph were handing out similar statements. 

"You're on the morning team, that sucks," Dean remarked, leaning down and poking at where it said AM in large letters. "You gotta open it up."   


"Why does that suck?" Seth asked, sitting up straighter. Dean handed sheets to Dana and Bayley. 

"Cause then you don't get to have your pick of food at closing," Sasha said, scooting across the deck to see his sheet. "Congraaaaats, big hard working man."

"What did you get?" Seth asked, still looking down his own sheet. Despite being involved in a lot of the fundraiser set-up, he hadn't made these sheets or printed them off. At one point he'd seen the list of various duties, but at that time, no names had been attached. 

"Me, Bay and E are doing face painting." Sasha said cooly, making room as Bayley also came in, hovering over Seth's sheet. "I did it last year and was pretty awesome at it, so I guess Hunter wanted me to do it again."

"I'm greeter 1?" Seth asked, wondering if the task required much more than he thought. "What, so I just say hi to everyone on the way in?"

"Yeah probably." Sasha explained. Almost everyone was huddled into little groups and were comparing their duties similarly. Dean was standing on the deck a short distance away, loitering in case anyone had questions. Seth was sure he had Roman's paper in his hand as well. 

"Dean, what did you get?" he asked, unable to keep his curiosity contained as Dean perked up and walked over. "Who else is a greeter?"

"Mmh? I dunno." Dean shrugged. "I'm a runner, but I think Hunter wanted me inside too to guard just in case." 

"So I just sit out in the sun all day?" Seth asked, trying not to sound too unenthusiastic. Dean slid down to the floor beside him. "What do I even do?"

"There's gunna be like, some stuff for sale probably that you'll sell for charity and then you'll give out free bags of shit that are for kids and info packets. Stuff like that. People will have questions and you just kinda direct them."

"People showing up thinking the park is open for the event," Sasha snorted, picking at her swim cap. 

"Yeah, and then people just asking if it's a free event cause they don't wanna buy stuff." Dean nodded. "It's not hard."

"Nikki was usually a greeter, but then she's not really here…" Sasha said, thinking and smiling to E as they locked eyes in the crowd. "Sami would be good at it, but he's almost always inside…"

"Okay folks, if you have any questions-" Stephanie said loudly over the talking crowd. "We'll be arriving at seven AM on the 1st for set up. If you're the PM crew, you'll be here at noon to take over at 1. Check the schedule before you leave and know who is coming in to relieve you that day!" 

"What did Uce get?" Seth asked quietly, watching Dean pour over the master schedule in his hands. Looking through his boyfriend's fingers, he could see that a lot of the staff were runners or parking attendants. Some people were specialty cases, and Seth could see AJ's name next to several time slots that looked to be demonstrations of some sort. Miz was in charge of something called SWM INFO on the spreadsheet and Ru and Lana were running some sort of booth for the swim team. 

"They do an early water X class that day so the older people don't freak out." Dean said, pointing to Roman's name on the indoor pool schedule for that day. "He'll probably be a runner or a greeter after that though."

The group of guards was then split down the middle between the opening and closing staff for the fundraiser and Dean left their group to go outside and participate in the portion of the inservice that was dedicated to doing a walk-thru of the park. Sasha and Bayley set their papers with Seth on the deck, and got in the pool to begin the physical portion. For a while, he watched alone as his co-workers swam a 200 yard freestyle and dove for the rubber brick, competing for times. The tile around the water was littered with towels and papers, some becoming damp in the rush of bodies hustling around the area. Sitting on the now vacant bench, Seth still felt a little put out by the fact he couldn't participate, but was mostly happy he'd won employee of the month. 

It was a very helpful feeling, to at least know that he was doing well at work. Hunter returned for a brief moment to grab a clipboard he'd forgotten and he winked at Seth as he stooped down to grab his papers. Seth sat up a little straighter, blushing hard.

"Thanks a lot for all that," he said, swallowing. "I appreciate it."

"It was all Steph's idea," Hunter joked, brushing a few water droplets off his clipboard. "Don't mention it, champ."

He'd liked to have gotten the recognition sooner, but Seth tried to just enjoy the satisfied feeling settling in his stomach as he covertly pulled the card out from his cargo pocket and examined the quickly scrawled note of his bosses. It was just a simple Hallmark style card, but as soon as Seth was sure he wouldn't be noticed, he took a picture of it and sent it to Roman with a mess of exclamation points. Examining his own inbox again, Seth set the letter aside and looked to see what messages he'd missed during the meeting.

**Grandpa is sick right now so we aren't meeting a memory specialist this weekend** His mother had texted him. Seth's good mood began to fizzle, shoulders drooping.  **He's had a cough for a while now but he's trying to rest this weekend and get his energy up. Me and dad are going to check on him in a few days, but we can't really make another appointment until after Easter**

Seth sighed, sure that he really couldn't do much about the ordeal except be supportive. He really did want him mother to tell him these things, but it weighed heavy on his heart. Especially since he'd told her that he was going to be spending the holidays in Florida. It made Seth slightly anxious, thinking about how he was ditching his own family to see Roman's gigantic one. Despite all of his mother's assurances to the contrary, he could tell that she wasn't happy with his decision. 

For a few moments, Seth idled with his phone, thinking of checking his bank account. Now that he was paying significantly less rent money, he'd started building his savings up again. Getting a plane ticket wasn't quite the financial hurdle it had been before, but the vacation would likely put a little dent in the cash he was squirreling away. 

Seth eyed Dean from across the pool, watching his boyfriend stand on the deck dripping wet with a towel around his shoulders. His hair had been pushed back to keep out of his eyes as he observed the progress of the other guards. For a moment, Seth imagined Dean and Roman visiting Iowa for Easter, seeing a few familiar spots and having Sunday brunch with his mother and grandfather. There wasn't a whole lot to do in his hometown, but it wouldn't be a bad idea for another holiday. 

Keeping himself occupied, Seth looked at the text from Cesaro, which was just a picture of a cup of coffee in the waiting room of the sports medicine clinic. He replied with  **how'd it go?** Sure that his friend would have been finished by then. If Cesaro's PT was anything similar to Seth's experience, he would definitely be sore and tired following the first appointment, just barely able to work through a comfortable range of motion. 

**Very well** Cesaro replied quickly  **but I am going to see a different therapist after today**

**Waht?** Seth thumbed out, frowning deeper  ***What? Whats wrong with Del Rey?** Perplexed, Seth barely registered Roman replying to his picture message. In an instant, the typing icon appeared on the screen and Seth watched as Cesaro thumbed out his reply over the course of a minute, likely impaired by his bad arm. 

**Nothing :)** Cesaro messaged  **We talked a lot and we are going downtown tonight to meet up. I thought it would be best to be professional about her work.**

Seth would later dispute the noise that Sasha accused him of making, but he did move a lot faster than he had in weeks, stumbling across the deck and hastily dialing his friends number as he pounded through the locker room to get into the commons area. Cesaro picked up right away of course, sounding a little breathless and excited himself. 

"You dog!" Seth laughed, pressing himself through the front glass door and earning a look of confusion from Sami. "You smooth talking dog!"

"I don't know  _ what  _ you are talking about," Cesaro chuckled. Seth grinned against the receiver, his body tingling a little from the sudden change in temperature. "I do not want to be over excited, it is just a single date after all."

" _ You _ -" Seth sighed, leaning against the building and feeling some indescribable frustration and happiness. If Cesaro was there, Seth would probably be embarrassing himself tenfold, bouncing around and cheering. "Dude, I'm so happy for you though! That's  _ awesome _ !" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some people called this plot development basically the moment Del Rey was introduced so I'll tip my hat to you now. This chapter was only lightly beta'd, so I'm sorry if there's some goofy wording in there somewhere.
> 
> For reasons I feel that are fairly cogent, Enzo Amore is no longer going to be written into the fic as a character. I'm also orphaning that fic I wrote about him a couple years ago, so it'll still be searchable, but I'm tossing it off my name. I really don't want to hear from anyone that is going to debate me on this, especially since he's barely a supporting character. I don't want to write him any more, so that's that.
> 
> Next week, a relationship in peril? Spring Break creeps closer. Please comment/donate if you enjoyed!


	8. New High New Low

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who's the tallest of the three men? Can Seth, Dean and Roman plan a vacation? Phones spell trouble.

Seth carried his enthusiasm and his extra fifty dollars home with the sort of simple happiness that a child might have holding onto a new balloon. Despite his knee and the troubling news regarding his grandfather's health, he knew he had to focus on the positives. It was pretty difficult to be pessimistic with Dean bouncing around in the driver's seat anyway. 

"Wan' a chip?" his boyfriend offered, drawing from the bag between his legs and jostled slightly by the car as they came to a stop at a traffic light. Seth leaned over, mouth fumbling around a barbeque Ruffle, managing to get flavor-dust in his beard. Dean snickered, popping him lightly on the nose with his cleanest knuckle and earning a nasally little grumble.

"I kind of want breakfast for dinner," Seth said, thinking out loud as he sat back in the passenger's seat, putting his troubles out of his mind. Dean drove the Cadillac along at his usual measured pace, the sun setting under the palm trees. "Waffles before bed though, that's a lot of calories."

"Who cares," Dean grunted, snacking on another chip. "You deserve it. If you wanted to come to my gym sometime, we could workout. They mostly just got weights there anyway."

"Yeah?" Seth asked, trying to recall. "It's some little gym, right?"

"Yeah, I haven't been in a minute." Dean shrugged. "Just easier to go with Uce to his gym a lot since it's closer now. This other one was nearer to my old place. We could go 'n bench or whatever. Do a back day."

"Fuck, that sounds nice," Seth sighed, rolling his shoulders a little. "Let's do that."

The air was still thickly humid as both men pulled onto the street in front of the house. For a few steps, Dean walked ahead at a quick pace, but he paused, realizing Seth couldn't shuffle along as fast. Grinning, he went slower, keeping time as they made it to the front and Kevin began to bark at the door. Roman's shushing was heard as they walked in and immediately Seth was inundated with the smell of bacon.

"Well how do you like that?" Dean chuckled. "You get your breakfast."

"Uce, did you read my  _ mind _ ?" Seth called, slipping out of his shoes and patting Kevin on the back to calm the dog down. In the kitchen, Roman was in his element, playing R&B and putting together their supper. Before they'd slipped out of their shoes he appeared at the doorway in his half apron, looking pleased but a little confused.

"You wanted omelets and bacon?" he said, walking over and putting his hand under Seth's head to pull him into a short kiss, scratching at his stubbly neck. "Congrats."

"I wanted waffles, but you got the time of day right," Seth said, putting a happy hand to his boyfriends chest, more for his own enjoyment than anything. "Did you put peppers innit?"

Roman had, and in less than twenty minutes, the table had been cleared and all three men were sitting with warm plates of food. Kevin was fed, and the chickens wandered the backyard freely, clucking behind the glass door. On the whole, Seth felt tired but pleased, digging into his meal. 

"I should be done with all my class work on Wednesday or so," Roman said, on the subject of his studies. "I meant to leave a note with the neighbors too about checking on the chickens when we're gone. But I just caught the older guy out there this morning doing yard work and he said his family was actually going out for spring break too, to Fort Lauderdale or something."

"You think Renee would do it?" Seth asked Dean. "I'd ask Cesaro, but he's still all mangled. He's trying to date my PT lady!"

"Yeah?" Roman laughed, watching him nod with wild eyes. 

"He did his session today! He told me that he's actually rescheduling because they both got along so good that they wanted to go out tonight! It's nuts!" Seth explained.

"Is she hot?" Dean asked, his face pinching together in thought. "Have I seen her?"

"I mean, yeah, she's attractive." Seth shrugged, turning pink. "I mean, I don't think she's like… a  _ supermodel _ or anything, but she's in good shape. She's really nice."

"Is she tall?" Roman asked, grinning a little. "Dude is taller than me. But girls like that." 

"No… she's shorter," Seth said, taking a bite of egg. He wasn't really sure why his boyfriends cared, but he was willing to talk about it.

"It would be weird if one of us was small..." Dean said, sort of vacantly, like he was just figuring out his words. "Like, a head shorter or something. Or like  _ really _ small."

"Like a little person?" Seth asked, raising an eyebrow and grinning as Dean's eyes widened a little at the concept.

"Nah, I dunno how that'd work, I'm used to being with chicks though, where I'm all looming over them and shit," Dean mumbled, licking his lips. "I feel like Cesaro'd be with some super tall CrossFit chick with giant muscles and stuff."

"I dunno if he has a type," Seth said. "I think it helps that she's in fitness, even if it's sort of a different field."

"How tall are you?" Roman asked Dean, clearly hung up on the issue of height. "I'm taller than you."

"I'm the tallest," Dean said simply, leaning back in his seat. Seth scoffed.

"Uce is taller than you." Seth shook his head. "No way."

"Swear to god I'm taller," Dean said, looking to Seth. "You're the baby."

"And you're the medium one," Roman said, pointing to Dean and smirking with his wide bright teeth, "There's no way."

"Look, I might like-" Dean shrugged his shoulders in and sat in his usual slouched manner. "I can be  _ compact _ -"

The argument wouldn't be settled fully until they'd finished their meals and stood up to full height. Roman drew himself up, puffing out his chest while Seth stood apart to make sure. As Dean came up to his full height, Seth actually squinted, thrown off by the extra inch of his fluffy blonde hair. 

"It's actually close," Seth laughed. "Wow."

"I'm six four," Dean said, looking into Roman's eyes, half lidded and dopey. Roman just shook his head, disbelieving until Seth procured a tape measure from the miscellaneous kitchen drawer. 

"Here," Dean said, putting himself to the door frame and standing to his fullest height. "Swear." 

"I don't think you're  _ cheating _ ," Seth laughed, watching Roman come in to his other side with a slim mechanical pencil. "Are you marking it on the wall?"

"I don't think he's gunna grow!" Roman snorted, pressing a soft graphite line against the white paint. "I just… I just wanna see."

**DEAN** was written by the line, and after a moments thought, Dean took the pencil from Roman and scrawled  **AMBROSE** after it in a secondary, sloppy script. Both Roman and Seth couldn't hold back their laughter. 

"How many other Dean's live here?" Seth asked, snickering at his boyfriend's soft shrug. With a little push, he pressed Roman up against the wall, and the two men went to measuring what Seth  _ thought  _ was his tallest boyfriend. 

"I'm still taller technically," Roman laughed, marking down his height at 6' 3", "I got the best posture!"

"I'm the tallest," Dean grunted, writing ROMAN REIGNS an inch below his own name. "Wait, are your parents gunna get mad that we're writing on this?"

"I'll… erase it if I gotta." Roman rolled his eyes. "What about lil Uce?"

"I'm six foot and some give," Seth said. He blushed as Dean nudged him to the wall and Roman went about measuring his height. They were all quiet for a moment, as though realizing what they were doing was objectively adorable. 

**SETH ROLLINS** was written below the previous lines at 6 ' 1" and hastily Dean wrote  **EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH** in smaller letters. 

"Thanks," Seth chuckled, surveying the little marks they'd made. Dean just squeezed his butt for a few moments before going to the table and picking up their remaining dishes. Roman grunted, looking amused by the new information.

"Well damn Dean-o I guess we'll be going to you to grab things off the high shelves now, won't we?" he said, striding to the kitchen to refill his glass. Seth went to grab his own dishes from the table just as Roman's cell phone buzzed on his placemat. 

"Whatever you want babe," Dean muttered, running the sink and rinsing off his plate. Seth reached for Roman's phone and saw a text from his sister Summer. He couldn't make out the whole message from the notification screen, but Seth blinked and read without much hesitation.

**Just something about how I should tell her if I have a good reason for keeping you and the boys at our place, just like you thought about how she thinks that you…**

"My phone buzz?" Roman asked, watching Seth's line of sight to his phone and walking over casually.

"Yeah, your sis?" Seth said, offering Roman his phone. He continued to stare, watching as Roman ran his finger down the screen, drawing a spiral left to right with his thumb. It was easy to remember and Roman's fingers were slightly damp, drawing a line of moisture across the phone's screen. 

Without saying anything or elaborating, Roman continued his walk into the living room and Seth blinked, wondering what the conversation could have been about. However, hearing the dishes clatter in the sink, he reminded himself that it really wasn't his business. Even if Roman was probably  _ not  _ telling them everything...

"We need to figure out what we're doing here," Roman said from the living room after a few moments. Seth watched him pull out a few pamphlets from under the coffee table and sink into the couch with a sigh. Distracted, Seth walked over, seeing papers with colorful images of a Caribbean atmosphere. In one hand, Roman was typing on his phone, looking a little disgruntled. But in the other, he was holding out a small booklet to Seth that said  _ GUIDE TO THE KEYS _ in looping cursive writing. 

"Is this like, our official guide then?" Seth asked lightheartedly, plopping down next to Roman on the sofa with a soft flump. Roman glanced at his phone for a moment, but stowed the device, slinging his arm across Seth's shoulders and sighing. It was difficult for Seth to take his mind off the text and the possibility of some family tension, but the colorful pictures helped.

"This is stuff the rental place sent us," Roman hummed, scratching at his bearded chin. "So, we're gunna be gone through the 19th to the 26th. We'll drive down real early that Saturday I figure so we can pick it up by two. First day's always just kind gettin' acclimated and pickin' up food and fuel and all that, so really we don't start till like Sunday. I figure we can just chill and do what we feel like, maybe coast around Key West and then come back or something." Roman pointed to a map in the corner of the paper Seth had, showing the ring of islands. "Shield Key is right here, and there's lots of places to dock and anchor for the night wherever we go."

"We should plan a route," Seth said nodding quickly and picking up the thicker booklet that detailed the attractions each island had to offer. "Wouldn't that be best? We could maybe pick out a few things to do each day and make sure we hit everything we want." 

"What do ya wanna do Dean-o?" Roman asked loudly, stroking Seth's shoulder and speaking clearly enough to be heard over the dishes in the sink. Dean popped his head into the living room, looking to both men and shrugging. 

"I don' really care," he said. "I'm more into just, not doin' anything. If something sounds cool, I'm down. I just wanna… sit on a boat."

"Well, I'm sure you'll do that plenty," Roman chortled. Seth was barely listening, sticking his nose in the book and reading through each possibility. Everything looked so magical and probably expensive and his mouth gaped a little, looking at an old army base that had been turned into a national park.

"The Dry Tortugas?" Seth looked up to Roman, his eyes probably gleaming a little. Roman blinked, looking down.

"Yeah, I've never done that one, it looks cool." He frowned slightly. "Thing is, I'm pretty sure you gotta go to it by a helicopter or something, it's hours away, out in the middle of the ocean and the ferries only leave at certain times."

"But it looks so cool though!" Seth sighed, looking at pictures of the hexagon shaped architecture jutting out of the cool blue ocean. "Maybe we can each do our own day one day, like where we split up and see stuff that's more our style."

Dean dried his hands after he finished cleaning and came to sit, bringing Kevin up to lay belly up as the men paged through the guides, eagerly exploring their options. Feeling overwhelmed, Seth went to Roman's printer and grabbed a sheet of paper. He sat back down between the three to form a proper list, drawing a sloppy map of the islands and then proceeding to place arrows around spots they'd like to visit. Seth drew a little circle for the Dry Tortugas, an isolated dot away from the other Keys. He was prepared to set off on his own if it meant that he could see the attraction. 

"What…" Dean's eyes narrowed, his mouth cracking into a grin. "There's a sea turtle hospital?" 

"Where?" Seth asked, avidly attentive to scrawling down ideas. Dean held up the page he was looking at and Seth circled Marathon, which wasn't that far from Shield Key.

"The Butterfly conservatory is kinda cool," Roman offered, poking at the growing number of arrows that were surrounding Key West. "Bugs and birds and flowers and stuff."

"Nyeh... I don't want bugs landing on me," Seth grimaced. He wrote it down anyway, making a note that Roman had brought it up. Dean laughed, slumping back in his seat.

"I just wanna go jetskiing, really," he mumbled. "I'm a simple man. If that's all I do the whole time, I'm cool with that."

"I'm definitely down for that," Seth nodded. "Though, it would be cool to scuba or something too… this place in Key Largo lets us do that."

"You need a license though, I had one when I was a kid, but I don't got one now." Roman said, poking at a picture of a family smiling and wearing snorkel gear. "We could all snorkel, I have masks and all the stuff in the garage somewhere. Get a waterproof camera."

"I've never done that, that's cool though," Seth said, nodding and grinning quickly. Grabbing another sheet of paper, he began drawing out a miniature calendar to detail their week. It was probably overkill and Dean seemed to draw inwards, hesitant to commit himself to anything. But Seth was really looking forward to going and he wasn't sure when he'd be able to do something this cool again.

When he was younger, his family had taken an occasional vacation, usually once every other year or so. They didn't travel very far, usually just going to Chicago for a few days and seeing the aquarium or a museum. One year, when he was very young, his mother took him and Brandon to the Wisconsin Dells to go to a water park resort. But the last time Seth had had a proper vacation was when he'd gone with Marek and his family to a ski resort in Minnesota. 

Needless to say, he knew he probably sounded like his own mother, throwing structure and pressure onto the event in order to maximize the possible amount of fun. Seth blushed as he looked up to Roman's and Dean's faces after several minutes spent calculating a possible trajectory. 

"Okay, so we start off on Sunday and we can go to the Turtle Hospital, then go to Sombrero Beach," Seth began, drawing his finger from their starting point and then running it along the paper where they would travel. "There's a bar and grill there if we're hungry, but I figure we can just like, chill out and do our thing, depending on the crowds and all. But it says in here-" Seth drew out the guide to the area surrounding Boot Key and Marathon. "There's little dinghy boats to rent too, if we just wanted to paddle around the harbor." 

"If our boat broke," Dean teased. Seth just shrugged. 

"Then we got Monday," he continued on. Roman and Dean sat up with exaggerated enthusiasm, leaning in with grins. "We can backtrack up to Islamorada and go on a kayak trip through this area with these cool trees."

"Yeah, the mangroves," Roman nodded, watching Seth's progress up the makeshift map. "Those rentals can get kinda pricey, but maybe there's a coupon somewhere."

"We do that, or maybe we can go to this place called Theatre of the Sea, it's like an aquarium zoo thing. We could probably do both if we wanted." Seth said, looking to Dean who looked engaged but not particularly swayed either way. "It'd be nice to be outside and doing stuff though."

"Do we got the money for all this?" Dean asked, looking to Roman specifically. "I know I'm gunna fill up some gas tanks at some point. But can we afford all this crap?" 

Seth curled his lip, looking to Roman. Truthfully, he  _ hadn't _ really been thinking of that. Some prices were listed in the margins of the guide books, but it wasn't something that Seth had been tracking in his hurried notes. Realistically, they'd probably need to set a spending cap for each day and plan according to that.

"We'll figure it out," Roman shrugged, rubbing Seth's shoulder as some sort of affirmation. "I'm not above treating you guys to some stuff. But we can wing it when we get out there too. If we want a cheap day, we can just be cheap. It don't matter."

"Right, yeah," Seth said sheepishly. "Well, I think we agreed on snorkeling anyway. Tuesday we could go up to Key Largo and then go to that park and do snorkeling. That's not too expensive, is it?"

"Nah, nah, that's through the state park, it's not a big deal." Roman shook his head. "Even cheaper since we won't have to rent much."

It felt a little silly and premature to lay it all out in an official manner, but Roman and Dean obliged Seth to continue with his possible itinerary. Thursday would be a refuel day, and a time where they would jet all the way south to Key West to spend the majority of their time. It would be a few hours, travelling parallel to the overseas highway, but they would wrap up their day in time to eat and investigate the island a little. 

"Thursday can be to ourselves," Seth said looking to Dean and Roman for agreement. "Dock the boat and do whatever you want, it looks like there's tons to do." 

"There's a lot of like, gay stuff too," Roman offered, picking up a rainbow pamphlet that had been largely neglected in the stack. "You guys haven't been, but Key West is really… out."

"Sick," Dean said, gesturing for the paper and flipping through it for a moment, a little dismayed. "But these are just places to shop?"   


"I think the mass orgies are more low key, yeah?" Seth laughed, watching Dean flip the pamphlet and show some rather awkwardly staged photos of two established looking gentlemen purchasing an expensive looking painting. "You held my hand at the lake once, we can do it there too is all."

"Hand holding is overrated," Dean griped, tossing the pamphlet back down. Roman just rolled his eyes. 

"Friday we can do jetskis in Key West and then maybe have a nice dinner together?" Seth offered, shrugging slightly. "It would be nice to maybe do something romantic too… If we feel like it."

"Get all the sand out of our toes and dress nice," Roman agreed. "Yeah, yeah, that's good. Good wrap up to the whole thing."

"And then Saturday we just go back," Seth said. "Seems like a pretty good vacation to me." 

"If I was with my dad or my brother I'd go fishing," Roman said with a complicated look on his face, staring at an advertisement for some fishing charter. "Used to do that a lot as kids. It gets so expensive though, to pay a local to take you out and all that."

"I haven't fished in years," Seth said. "I'd wanna swim some. I'll ask Dr. Del Rey about that before I leave."

Seth's makeshift map was tucked against the new fridge with a few magnets and Roman left the pamphlets on the kitchen table to peruse through their week. It was exciting to think that they'd be going so soon and White Water would be closed in the meantime, but Seth could already imagine the long drive to Pensacola and the relative stress of another tense holiday. He'd have to psyche himself up for it, it was as simple as that. As much as he was sure he'd want to just plop into their bed as soon as he got off the houseboat, Seth knew that a night up in the panhandle was just that, a night. 

"I was going to use the shower, that cool?" Roman asked, watching as Dean was sliding out of the back door to round up the chickens. He gestured in an offhand way and Seth just nodded, refilling his water glass from dinner as Roman went to the bedroom to change. It was fairly dark outside, but Seth thought about maybe giving Kevin a little walk before doing some of his PT exercises to cap off the night. There wasn't really anything he wanted to watch on TV, and he couldn't think of a video game he wanted to play either. 

Stifling a sneeze in the crook of his shoulder, Seth blinked as he heard Roman's phone vibrate around the surface of the glass table, skittering to silence as the message notification lit up the screen. He twitched, seeing Summer's contact info again. 

**Did he not tell you? He lost his phone last weekend when he got pulled over and I think he was just waiting till next week...**

Roman shuffled into the bathroom and shut the door before Seth could even open his mouth. Obviously, Seth could just walk the phone over to his boyfriend and tell him he'd gotten the message. Or, he could also just say nothing and let Roman find the message after he'd gotten cleaned up. Dean was still outside, enjoying a cigarette and roaming around the garden area as he liked to do in the evenings, swinging his crappy katana around for fun.

Despite the obvious choices, Seth picked up his boyfriend's phone and stared at it. The device was much nicer than Dean's, without any cracks or obvious wear. The lock screen was brightly illuminated with the picture of himself and Dean at Christmas time. The time was 8:11.

As though on auto-pilot, Seth slid his finger across the screens surface, drawing Roman's password from memory. He would recall later how strange it felt to do it, and how his mind seemed to go blank with a mix of anxiety and adrenaline. But at that time, Seth really thought he was doing something  _ good _ . This way, he could at least save Roman the embarrassment of having to admit anything awkward. By finding out what was going on via the cellphone, Seth wouldn't be left in the dark, agonizing over how to get his boyfriend to explain it all in detail. 

And of course, Seth really didn't know  _ what _ he was going to find. Part of him was just burning with curiosity, eager to know. The dubiousness of the activity was outweighed by the potential benefits.

His heart raced fast as he went to Roman's inbox, wondering if he could get away with checking the message and leaving it marked as read. But suddenly, as if realizing what he was doing, he paused, fingers trembling as he thought he heard a noise. The water in the shower kicked on and heavy footfalls were heard, sliding into the echoing tub.

Seth  _ wasn't _ supposed to be doing this. But he was sort of afraid of not doing it. Why had Roman been taking Xanax the other day? Did Seth deserve to know?

Summer had been his most recent contact, with Dean and Seth's group conversation's coming into the secondary spot. The third was labeled 'mom' and Seth turned his back to the hallway and the back door, hiding his curiosity from any potential line of site. What was Lisa Reigns saying that turned her son to worry so much? The last message began with **If you don't want to tell me, I don't know what's in your head. I can't make it better if you don't-**

Seth actually jumped as he heard a noise, his own phone ringing from the side of the couch. Fumbling, heart racing against his ribs to the point of pain, he felt sick with himself. As tantalizing as it was to peek into his boyfriend's information, he felt as though he received an electric shock. Punishment. A deterrent, forcing himself to return Roman's phone to the home screen and lock it, Seth picked up his own smaller device and squinted. 

Sasha Banks was calling. 

"Yo," Seth said, swallowing hard and massaging his chest as though to calm himself down. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"

"H-hey," Sasha answered back, and Seth's spine chilled. Her voice was broken and strained sounding, and in the background, he was sure he could hear the rushing of a car traveling. For a few moments, nothing was said and Seth could hear her sniff, trying to gather herself. He felt distinctly uncomfortable. 

"I'm sorry, uh," she choked, trying to breathe.

"What's wrong?" Seth asked sharply, trying to soften his voice. All thoughts to his previous activities vanishing. "Are you okay?"

"I'm kinda freaking out," Sasha admitted. "Is it okay if I talk? I… I don't want to-"   


"It's fine," Seth said, sitting down and picking up his legs to rest on the couch. Dean came inside and Kevin scampered back indoors, happy and warm. "Talk to me. Are you driving?"

"Y-yeah, I…" Sasha exhaled hard, clearly thinking hard. "Would it… are you all done for the day or anything? I'm sorry… I just…"

"It's fine," Seth said into the phone, catching Dean's eye as he came into the room, scratching his chin. "Uh...You wouldn't mind if Sasha came over, would you?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posting this early because I'm starting a new job early tomorrow and I'm not sure when I'd be able to post it otherwise. Kind of a cliffhanger, but I didn't end up making it two parts. 
> 
> Next time we find out what's bothering Sasha and Roman and Dean oblige to help. Hope my American readers enjoyed the Super Bowl! I'm full of wings and very content with the finish. Comment, Donate, interact with me if you so chose. Leave a kudo if you haven't kudoed yet? 
> 
> <3


	9. Buckle or Break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sasha tells all and Seth and Dean star in their own movie.

Sasha didn't want to talk much on the phone and despite his curiosity, Seth agreed it probably wasn't the best idea. He was sure that the distress in her voice was genuine enough to impair her ability behind the wheel, and knew that he could wait until his friend arrived to get the whole story. For a few minutes, Seth wondered vaguely what could have happened that would have shaken up his friend so vigorously, but he supposed that there was reason enough that she wasn't turning to Bayley. 

She was only a few minutes away, and Seth didn't really know what to do except to pace around the house anxiously, sure enough that he just wanted to relax and not be bothered with relationship dramatics or the guilt of peering into Roman's cellphone. Dean didn't seem to mind much at all, obliging to change into a slightly less worn out pair of sweatpants as soon as he heard company was coming. Seth could hear his knitting needles clicking back and forth from the sofa and he paused his frantic pacing around, standing by the kitchen trash and sighing hard.

"Is it like a family thing you think?" Dean asked, nudging Kevin with his elbow lightly to move the dog over. "How serious is she with that Bayley chick?" 

"I dunno, I have no idea what's happening." Seth explained, looking at his phone for the fifth time to an empty inbox. "They seemed fine at the in-service today."

Roman looked around with confusion as he saw Dean and Seth sitting expectantly in the living room. Hair slung wet over his shirtless shoulder, he raised an eyebrow.

"Uh, Sasha called me and she's having some sort of emergency," Seth explained, not really meeting his boyfriend's eyes as he picked up his own phone and glanced at the screen. "She was going to come over and talk to me for a bit, is that okay?" 

"Yeah sure," Roman nodded, frowning at his phone. "Everything okay? Or…"

"We're figurin' it out," Seth shrugged, slumping back on the couch and retying his bun. Roman was reading his texts and Seth continued to avoid his gaze, sure in the fact that he'd left no evidence as to his activities. He hadn't opened a single message, but Seth still felt his stomach unclench with relief as his boyfriend set his phone back down without any suspect looks.

After a few minutes of awkward waiting and Dean inspecting his knitting for a lost stitch, Kevin yapped and Seth could hear a car being parked on the street. Roman picked the dog up to prevent him from being obnoxious, and Seth walked to the door, heart beating fast. He wasn't really mad or annoyed that Sasha had reached out to him, but he really didn't know what to do or say. Seth had never really been  _ that  _ friend that people always came to for emotional support or advice. 

Taking a few tentative steps outside, he mostly just hoped that whatever was troubling his friend didn't keep him from getting a comfortable eight hours of sleep that night. Sasha's small form came through the darkness at a quick pace, violet hair bouncing into view under one of her trucker hats. As soon as Seth could see her eyes, he shrunk a little, seeing how red and wet they were. 

"Hey," Seth said stupidly, completely unsure of himself. He put out a hand and Sasha paused, wondering if he meant her to grab it. She smiled awkwardly and Seth grimaced, opening his other hand to offer a hug. Sinking into it slowly, as though Seth was a water puddle of an unknown depth, Sasha allowed herself to be held for an appropriate number of seconds, and Seth could feel her breathe deeply.

"Okay?" he asked, trying to sound firm and smart. Sasha just nodded, sniffing hard and wiping her eyes. "What's going on?"

"Probably nothing, I dunno." Sasha sighed hard, waving her fingers in some attempt to shake off her mood. "I tried calling my mom, but she's in her church group I think or something. Plus… I dunno, she's still sort of awkward with this stuff…"

"I dunno if I'm much better," Seth laughed, stopping short as he realized he probably wasn't being helpful. "Uh, it's cool though… let's get into some AC..." he opened the door and let Sasha in first, making sure not to knock her over as she slid out of her slip on shoes. In all the time that he had known her, Seth couldn't remember a time that she was more emotionally rattled.

"Aye," Dean waved, looking as casual as possible with his feet perched on the coffee table and his knitting in his lap. Sasha smiled a little more, seeing Roman coming around the corner with the squirming dog in his large arms, she nodded graciously.

"Sorry if you guys were winding down for the night." She said softly, standing in the middle of the living room, unsure of her direction. Seth shook his head and pointed to the couch as an offering.

"It's no sweat, you want some tea?" Roman asked, setting Kevin down and letting him approach Sasha eagerly. "Got some cinnamon stuff."

"No thanks," she said, bringing Kevin up into her lap to snuggle. Almost immediately the dog went quiet and calm, admiring her with his black button eyes. Dean returned to his knitting and Seth sat down between the two expectantly, curious to know what was happening.

"So… is this between you and Bayley then?" he asked directly, "What's going on?"   


"Yeah," Sasha said, taking off her glasses and rubbing her eyes for a moment, as though to stall for time. Kevin licked her forearms encouragingly. "I don't know if I messed up or not."

"Well…" Seth shrugged, a little over eager for an explanation. "What all happened?"

"So… I think I was telling you a little bit ago…" Sasha said, staring at Kevin and swallowing hard. "Like… Bayley wants to get out of her college dorm and move in with me, but I don't really know what to do about it. Yeah?" 

"Yeah, I recall." Seth nodded. Dean's knitting needles were still clicking away, but Seth could tell he was listening hard. 

"So, I dunno. She's been having a tough time of it lately and she had been talking to some people in one of her classes about maybe getting a place before her semester finished." Sasha said in a defeated tone, staring down at Kevin. "Her roommates are just trash. They eat her food and make up lies about her to the RA so nobody believes her when she tries to ask for help about it."

"That sucks." Seth said, Sasha nodded.

"Yeah, I tried telling her to like, go to the head of housing, really anyone at the college, but I dunno. I dunno if she's  _ not _ doing that or if the college just isn't taking her seriously, but she's really convinced that she should stay with _ me _ . I think that she thinks that it's really her only option because these other people she knows couldn't end up getting a place with her."

Roman returned from the kitchen and leaned on the walkway arch into the living room, folding his arms and listening carefully. 

"So, I dunno if I'm just a bitch or whatever, but I just really don't know about doing something like that right now." Sasha sighed hard, fussing with her hair and leaning back against the couch. "I just… I dunno. This is still all so new and different to me it feels like... I keep telling myself like, I wouldn't be trying to shack up with anyone, not a girl  _ or _ a guy right now. I've been thinking about how I should probably move back home or something soon or maybe go back to school- just do  _ something.  _ So I'm really not sure about my living situation. Bay gets that, but I dunno what she would do if I moved. I'm not going to beg her to transfer up to Boston, I just think that's messed up."

"Well… what if she wanted to?" Seth asked, more for his own interest than anything. Sasha just gestured uselessly. 

"I can't ask someone to do that. I think I'm afraid she  _ would _ ," Sasha muttered, looking a little dejected by her own choice of words. "We were talking about our plans for next week, right? With the pool being closed and all. I was thinking of seeing if I couldn't do a last minute trip up to Massachusetts and Bayley was all like  _ well, would it be okay if I went? _ and I felt weird about it, cause we'd just been talking about how it would be nice to take a trip but I wasn't sure about her meeting my family yet." 

"Y-yeah," Seth said awkwardly. Roman tapped his toe on the floor a little, turning pink.

"And… I dunno, she wasn't mad that I said it like that, but I think she wanted to know when would be a good time. Like, if not now,  _ when _ ? Then she was asking if we couldn't do something for a couple days where we maybe went camping or just drove to Tampa or Miami or something. She said she'd pay for gas and all so I wouldn't be broke if I wanted to go home for a few days. But I dunno. I dunno if I'm even going yet! I don't know if I'm going to go and be exhausted and out of it. Plus I'd feel all messed up if she like, paid for everything and I just _ let _ her do that."

"I don't think Bayley's the type to hold that over your head though, do you?" Seth asked, Sasha shook her head but exhaled hard, clearly annoyed that she couldn't get her point across.

"How much do you like this girl?" Dean asked quietly. "Like,  _ really _ like her?"

"I love her,  _ okay _ ?" Sasha said, looking between the three men, obviously distraught. "I dunno how to let her know other than saying it. I love her _ so  _ much, I just… I need more time. I dunno. She's had experience with these things before and I still don't know if I'm just gay or bi or whatever."

"Well," Seth said, licking his lips, "She knows all that, right?"

"Yes! Of  _ course _ !" Sasha said, and Seth gritted his teeth, anxious as Sasha began to cry again, putting her fingers to her eyes and wiping away tears under her glasses. "She got really frustrated like, s-saying that she feels like I can't give her what she wants. Like she's not good enough or s-something."

"Well, that's messed up," Seth sighed, looking around the table to see if they had a box of tissues. Roman went to the bathroom to procure some and he lamely pat his friend's knee trying to think. "Sash… you're not wrong here. You're not a bad person. People are all different, yeah? I think it's pretty stupid to assume that you should know everything about yourself at this point in your life. If Bayley doesn't want to hear what you have to say, well… I dunno. But maybe it's not such a bad thing that you want to go home for a bit and sort of recharge?"

"I really don't want her to break up with me over this though," Sasha sniffed, looking wholly exhausted. "I just… I feel like an idiot… I just keep saying I dunno over and over again…"

Roman returned and she accepted a kleenex, blowing her nose softly. Dean appeared to be lost in thought, consumed by the problem at hand like it was a complicated math equation. Seth really didn't know what else to say.

"I think you should just talk with her about what her own plans are." Roman asked, sitting in the arm chair to their left and kicking up his legs. Kevin almost immediately scurried out of Sasha's lap for his and everyone watched, distracted as the little dog fought for purchase. "Is there a reason why she wants to be serious so quickly? Has she thought about waiting until she's graduated and more established and all that?"

"She just… she just wants that  _ affirmation _ , I can just tell." Sasha shrugged. "And I'm just not that person… I feel like part of me getting into this was a sort of…" She paused, looking troubled by either her thoughts or a limited vocabulary. "Like… like I didn't want  _ that _ at all. So I'm doing  _ this  _ instead."

"Would you ever want _ that _ with her?" Seth asked, "Like, a really serious relationship? You call her your girlfriend and everything, right?"

"Yeah, like, I think I would." Sasha said, "Just… just not right now! We've barely been dating for four months!"

"We're a bad influence," Dean joked. Everyone laughed awkwardly and Roman stood up again as the tea kettle began to whistle loudly. Seth felt particularly embarrassed, sure in the fact that Sasha had a point, but also sure that he could defend his relationship.  

"Well, we're all different," he said lamely, scratching at his chest and frowning at his friend. "What do you think you should do? Is she really mad at you?"

"She's more sad than anything," Sasha said, dabbing at her eyes with the tissue again. "Just... disappointed. I think if maybe we do something small over the break it might be better than spending money. The way I left it, I dunno if she'd want anything to do with me for a bit…"

"Well you gotta try," Seth said, sinking down in the sofa and smiling to his friend in what he hoped was encouraging. "Figure out your own plans and then see if you can't maybe do something cheap that is thoughtful and all. At least with us, Uce always makes us amazing food and it saves us some cash going out."

"Except when I buy expensive-ass steaks," Roman grunted, returning with mugs of tea. Despite Sasha's dismissal, he pressed one of his steaming Georgia Tech mugs into her hands and she nodded, bring the cup to her mouth with a small  _ thank you _ . 

"I want one," Dean mumbled, watching Roman hand Seth a mug before sinking into his chair. Roman rolled his eyes.

"Since when d'you drink hot tea? C'mon," he said with mock exasperation.

"This one smells good though, it doesn't smell like that green stuff," Dean said. Seth handed Dean his own mug to try and Dean sniffed the glass, taking a tiny hot sip. "... it's  _ okay _ …"

"You can drink off mine," Seth said, turning back to Sasha. "I don't think Bayley's gunna break up with you."

"I don't either, but I don't…" Sasha sighed, setting the mug down on the coffee table. "I just don't want this to be our hangup, and I don't want it to be like I'm weighing her down and stopping her from doing what she wants. I love her energy, she's like a kid sometimes and it makes me lighten up a lot and be myself… but I think sometimes it's just a lot to handle."

"Has she been in a relationship before?" Roman asked. Sasha shook her head.

"Not like a serious one. She's never been with a guy either." Sasha offered her hand to Kevin, trying to lure him back. "So it's kinda hard for her to get why I'm not leaping into this without any hesitation."

"Sometimes you gotta just kinda play along though," Dean said, reaching the end of his row and sticking the needles into the skein of yarn. "Like, you just gotta think about what they want and think _is_ _it gunna kill me if I just let this go?_ It's hard cause, well, especially when you don't really get it, you're kinda like, _well is this gunna fuck me over?_ " he readjusted and Seth and Roman looked at him, highly amused. "But then you just kinda take a step back and you're like _oh right, they just want the best_ , even if maybe you see it different." 

"Yeah?" Roman said, snickering as Dean seemed to be thinking through his words in real time, twirling his fingers and spinning his sentences. 

"Yeah, and like, you're all on the same team, it's just how you like, get to where you're going, you know?" Dean mumbled, looking to Roman and Seth with an almost comical wise guy expression. "Like,  _ who the fuck is steering this car? Are we going to run out of gas? Who has the directions here? _ " 

Roman and Seth burst out laughing, unable to stop themselves as Sasha just looked confused and weirded out, watching the blonde man fake a car accident with his hands thrashing wildly in the air. 

"But you know, sometimes it's just like that," Dean said, "But then you look around and you're like,  _ shit, this is still better than anything else _ ."

"Incredible," Seth laughed, coughing a little. "Well, yeah, I mean. I dunno if you said it best. But maybe that's the point, isn't it?"

"Y-yeah…" Sasha said, clearly unconvinced but agreeable. "Yeah, sure."

They talked for a little while longer about more lighthearted things, and Roman played some music quietly as Sasha looked at flights to Baltimore on her phone. Eventually, she came to the conclusion that her time might be better spent saving money and doing some chores around the house that she'd been putting off for lack of time. That week, there would be a special yoga seminar at the yoga studio she patronized, and Sasha talked with Seth about maybe making a day out of the session and having a nice dinner with Bayley afterwords.

"No more yoga for you though," Roman said to Seth, coming by to grab his empty mug and tease the underside of his chin. Seth just frowned, annoyed.

"Doc said it too, I don't need to be told twice," he complained. Sasha looked worried but Seth waved her off. "It's fine really. I'm fine."

"You guys were going on a trip though, weren't you?" Sasha asked, her eyes catching one of the Key West pamphlets that had been left out for examination. "That should be fun." 

"I texted Renee," Dean said with his phone in hand, loud enough for Roman to hear in the other room. "She said she could try to come over here to put the chickens away, but it would already be pretty late and all after she'd get off her shift. She said she'd do it if nobody else could though."

"Uh, maybe as a last resort," Roman said back over the noise of the sink. "I'd rather it just be one person. Plus… well…" he returned to the living room and looked to Seth sheepishly. "I called the houseboat rental place and we'd need to put down an extra deposit if we wanted to bring Kevin." 

"Yeah?" Seth asked, looking at his dog with a frown. "How much was it?"

"About another 100," Roman said, looking similarly annoyed. "Probably cheaper than boarding him, but yeah… I could help with that but we probably couldn't be going to tons of aquariums and restaurants."

"I could watch him," Sasha said, almost offended that she wasn't asked. "What all do you need?"

"You want to?" Seth asked brightening. "That would be swell."

"We basically need a house sitter," Roman said, cocking his head slightly to the side and looking to Sasha warmly. "Someone who can check on the chickens and make sure they get put back in the hutch at the end of the day."

"Kevin's easy as hell to take care of too, plus we got the yard," Seth said. "He only ever walks a couple blocks at a time. You think you could do that?" 

"Yeah, why not!" Sasha said, laughing a little. "Your place is way closer to everything anyway! I could clean up my place and stay here if it means I get to hangout with a dog and chickens." 

"Go make up with your girl and you can both crash here," Roman said. "I mean, don't throw any parties or anything, but you can use our yard and our grill."

"The brand new fridge!" Dean chanted, as though he was trying to sell the place. "Ice cold water! Crushed ice!"

"I'm sold," Sasha laughed, "We can do a stay-cation. If I can get her to agree to it…"

"Dude, it's  _ Bayley _ ," Seth laughed, sitting back up again. "She likes you a lot dude, she's not gunna bail on you."   


"I don't think she's  _ bailing _ ," Sasha rolled her eyes, making to stand up and looking around the room with appreciation and care. "I just gotta think about what I want to say to her… thank you _ so  _ much guys…" 

"Don't mention it!" Seth grinned, standing up next to his friend and opening his arms again to initiate a hug, much more properly than when she'd first arrived. "You'll figure it out. You're smart. Just remember what we told you." 

"Oh shut up," Sasha teased, looking more at Roman than any of the three. "For real though, thanks..."

Seth saw her out the door for the night and Roman and Dean waved, saying kind goodnights and wishing her a safe drive home. It wasn't often that Seth felt particularly accomplished as a friend, usually skirting most of the messiness of platonic relationships as much as possible. It was just that Seth thought that he wasn't much good at talking about feelings, felt by himself or otherwise. Between the assessments given by all three men in the house, he hoped Sasha had felt more stable leaving than when she'd arrived. 

"Well that wasn't so bad," Seth said, smiling a little nervously and bouncing back into the living room in the sort of fashion that indicated he was at his most comfortable. "Sorry though, I didn't mean to keep anyone up."

"Like we would have been sleepin' anyway," Dean shrugged, setting his knitting aside.

"It's not problem," Roman said, setting down his phone. "It happens. Can't always account for it."

"It's cool that she's willing to house sit," Seth said, inching his way past the coffee table and plopping down in the seat between Dean and Roman, making himself cozy. "I hope she and Bayley can make up or whatever, if just so that all goes smoothly." he picked at one of the leftover vacation pamphlets, fidgeting. "Man, I don't wanna go to work tomorrow…"

"Just a few more days," Roman sighed. 

All three men seemed to exhale, sinking a little deeper into the couch, without much else to say on the matter. It wasn't even that late, and Seth wasn't terribly exhausted. All the freewheeling emotion that had been energizing the room made him feel keyed up and excited. 

Dean jiggled his leg and Seth put his hand on it unconsciously, as though he was trying to soothe him. Dean tried to bounce his leg harder, his thigh tensing against Seth's palm.

"Let me bounce," Dean pouted, tickling Seth's wrist and proceeding to bounce his other leg as Seth made a noise and grinned, coming forward to put the whole weight of his body on Dean's legs. "He's getting started, Uce."

"Yeah, looks like it," Roman confirmed, scooping Seth back into the couch with his arms in a sort of aggressive hug. Seth hummed and relaxed, settling himself in his boyfriend's arms and kicking his legs up onto Dean's lap.

"That's more like it," he snorted, stretching out so he was essentially using both men as cushions. "Home sweet home."

"Your knee looks pretty good," Dean observed, tracing the faint line of Seth's surgical reconstruction. The incision spot was still a little red and Seth was sure his knee was slightly swollen, as it usually was after a day on his feet. On the whole, it felt alright though. The sensation of Dean's hands lightly grazing his knee sent primal shivers up his inner thigh, warming him.

"Hmmm... " Seth teased, letting his hips fan open so his legs could separate wide. It was about as tantalizing as a hairy twenty-six year old in frumpy house clothes could manage.

"I need to film you two one of these days." Roman said, putting a hand on the back of Seth's head and massaging his scalp sweetly. "That would be hot as hell."

"I'm not letting Dean choke me out," Seth said, sneering. If Roman didn't blush as hard as he did every time it was brought up, he might let the topic die in conversation.

"Fine," Roman said in fake exasperation, giving Seth a little tug on his hair. "You  _ know _ I like sex jus' fine without that, right?"

"Well-" Seth laughed, grinding the back of his head into Roman's lap. "Judging by your dick poking my brain, I'd say you'll  _ tolerate _ it."

"Don't worry Uce, I'll shut him up," Dean said gruffly, practically ripping Seth's pants in his quickness to expose him. With a little nasally squawk, Seth's thickened dick slapped up against his stomach. His underwear crumpled up around his knees with his loose shorts. Before he could think or propose moving into the bedroom, Dean's mouth was licking up and down the underside of his dick, prepping him where his skin was warm from the contact with his leg. Wet and sloppy as Dean always was, it felt impossibly perfect in the warm room and Seth went slack into Roman's lap, moaning lightly.

"That's more like it," Roman joked, patting Seth on the cheek as he nearly instantly surrendered, sweet as can be. "Not like it ever takes much."

"'M not a desperate slut," Seth whined, turning his head to pout and immediately nuzzling into Roman's pitched tent by mistake. Laughing, Roman patted at his own dick to rearrange himself, scratching at Seth's stubbly cheek.

"Don' worry about it," Roman said, barely a whisper. Seth's eyes fluttered open and he could see Roman bending down to the best of his ability, shifting Seth's head so he could brush his lips to his face. Roman's kisses were always sort of mind-melting, and Seth sagged deeper, lulled into a trance by the smell of his boyfriend all around him and Dean's slurping, hard work, sending little ripples of pleasure down his thighs and into his gut. Any time he chanced a glance, dark, heavy lidded eyes looked back, pressing deeper, but never hard enough to knock teeth.

"Fuck," Seth whined, his ass tensing as he felt a potential orgasm unwind. "I'm-" he sat up a little and Dean paused, watching him blink and center himself. Seth looked behind him to Roman again, a little dumb. "You really wanna film?"

"Not like, a movie production or anything," Roman chuckled, grabbing his phone from the coffee table. "If you're comfortable that is. If not, it's really no big deal."

"I did it once, it was cool." Dean said, wiping his mouth a little and clearing his throat. "Hot I mean."

"You did it before without me?" Seth said, pouty and jealous, looking between the men and trying not to sound too hurt. He was more annoyed that he didn't know about it, not necessarily that he'd been left out of any amateur porn. Immediately in his head, Seth was sure it was on Roman's phone, positive he would have seen such a thing during his exploration of Dean's photo gallery.

"I can show you, but the one we did actually wasn't lit that well." Roman said, giving Seth's chest a little rub as he made to sit up. Gesturing to the bedroom, the three began to make their way out of the living room and Kevin trailed after, under the impression that he might earn some pets if all three men were going to bed. Toeing out of his shorts, Seth shut the door before the dog could get in and create any sort of interruption.

Dean stood over Roman's shoulder and Seth joined them, sliding a proprietary hand down his wet cock and lazily stroking it as he watched his boyfriend unlock his phone and thumb through the photo gallery with intention.

"I make a weird face," Dean laughed, remembering as Roman brought up the file and lingered on the beginning frame, shaking his head in amusement. "He like, told me he was gunna do it, but then I forgot until it happened.

"You get all weird when you know the camera's on you!" Roman complained, starting the video and holding it closer to Seth's gaze for inspection. Seth blinked and watched as the screen was a frontal view of Roman, mostly burying his head in the bed and avoiding the camera while Dean pumped from behind, gripping onto Roman's ass and bucking around for a good spot.

"See!" Roman laughed, pointing as Dean's gaze seemed to sharpen, staring at the phone and faltering slightly. Seth watched curiously, lazily stroking his dick as the Dean in the video clip seemed to struggle with purpose and plunge recklessly deeper. The Roman in the video shook the phone on accident, making it blur slightly as he moaned, trying to cope.

"Don't give up on me too soon," Dean sighed, shucking off his own shirt. "Maybe I'm Ron Jeremy, you don't know. What are we doin' here Spielberg?" 

"Freestyle it, I don't care," Roman said, patting Seth's butt and encouraging him to join in as Dean sat on the bed. "That is, if this is all cool. Yeah?"

"Yeah yeah, whatever," Seth waved his hand. "Obviously don't show this to anyone, but I don't mind."

"My eyes only," Roman agreed, shimmying out of his own pants and thumbing through his phone to get to what he wanted. Similarly to before, Dean seemed rigid and slightly nervous.

"Should we roleplay?" Seth teased, flopping down on the bed. "I'm the college student? You're my sexy step dad or something?"

He raised his foot up to Dean's shoulder, but rather than grinning along, Dean's mouth twitched and he remained silent, bringing his face down to Seth's dick as he'd just done on the couch and sucking away as though he'd never been interrupted at all. Seth immediately forgot about his joke flatlining and instead began to gather his awareness around Dean's wet mouth. His hands dug into his boyfriends wavy blonde locks and his thighs touched his ears, squeezing gently. With a glance over his shoulder, Seth found Roman holding up his phone and filming, and Seth felt his face burn, blushing hard.

Trying to put on a show, but also slightly self conscious, Seth licked his lips, focusing away from the lens of the camera and wiggling his hips around in a circle, looking for depth. Dean gagged a little, but kept up, winding his fingers around Seth's thighs and squeezing back. The lamps were just bright enough to carve them out into starkly contrasted highlights and shadows, and Seth tried not to focus too much on how loudly he was breathing or his overgrowth of chest hair or his un-toned waistline. Dean was teasing him right back up to orgasm again and he needed to focus.

"Relax babe," Roman said in his perfectly everyday voice. Seth could hear him stroking his own cock to the sight and Seth exhaled hard, wiggling his toes.

"Can you fuck me a lil'?" Seth asked, poking his head up to see Dean. Dean made eye contact, blinking politely with all of Seth's length lodged up in his throat. With a wet pop, he pulled away and instead hiked Seth's hips up so he could eat out his backside.

"MM-hm-" Seth moaned, his mouth hanging open, pink and slack as Dean switched gears, licking back and forth, purposefully. Seth could hear Roman clear his throat a little and he tried to relax further, resisting the temptation to take his cock in hand again to pump away. On his thighs, Dean's fingers left happy imprints from clutching hard, soft and rosy red.

"That good?" Dean asked, breaking his little silence and kissing the creases of Seth's hip. He nodded hard, and Dean procured the lube from the nightstand, preparing. "I'm gunna fuck you against the headboard."

"Yeah?" Seth said, wiggling around as Dean helped reorient them, propping up pillows and making the surface comfortable enough to sit on an incline.   


"I can fuck ya a lot harder than I can Uce, so," Dean joked and made direct eye contact with the camera, winking. Seth laughed and Roman shrugged. He looked as though he wanted to argue, but mostly he was concerned with jerking off one hand and filming the two with the other.

"That good?" Seth asked, mostly for Roman than anything as Dean was lining himself up to Seth's ass and they were sort of squared off, difficult to film. Roman just nodded and Seth blushed. He was sure if he heard his own voice on a video clip a bunch of times, it probably would make it sort of awkward to hear back if he wanted to masterbate to it.

However, the logistics of it all were pushed out of his mind as Dean slithered in and bottomed out quickly, giving Seth little time to comprehend what he was supposed to be doing. He hadn't been taking as much dick lately and his ass wobbled a little from the sudden strain of Dean filling him up so tight.

"F-f-f--" Seth hissed, looking down to his lap where Dean had swung his legs over the sides, giving him very little to brace himself on. Sliding around and shivering slightly, Seth's hands found Dean's chest and he grabbed on tight, pushing himself as deep as he could against the headboard and scrunching his face up. Dean slowed, sensing the fit and the struggle, giving Seth's forehead a polite kiss.

"There ya go," Dean grunted, feeling Seth remember in his muscles to exhale and relax, surrendering to Dean's force and trusting his cock explicitly. Dean bucked a little and Seth blew his lips noisily in his hurry to exhale again, letting his hips fan and his legs go numb.

"Oooh…." Seth shivered again. Dean began to find his rhythm and in no time at all, all three men were going. Roman, struggling to keep his hand sturdy as he jerked off into his hand. Dean's ass thrusting back and forth, snapping like a band and connecting wildly each time with some other corner of Seth's bottom. It was all wet and hard to meter, sweat flecked both men and Dean grabbed onto the headboard behind him to keep in close contact to Seth, the hits of his pelvis intensifying with speed and accuracy. 

" _ Fuck  _ yeah," Seth whined, grabbing fast to Dean's chest and letting the shivers up his spine dictate how his head flopped. One side, than the next, fast forgetting he was being filmed as Roman himself seemed to struggle a little, bending over and fighting with his need to come. Dean just stared back down at him, intense and pumped up, sweat making the ginger of his beard shine just a little brighter. His round cheeks were pink and flushed, and Seth licked his lips, wishing he could still be fucked so well through a kiss.

Against any better judgement, Dean pumped faster and Seth keened, feeling his whole lower body protest and seize a little. The bed began to jump and thump- the headboard connecting with the wall slightly as each thrust sent Seth deeper into the pile of pillows. The frame felt distinct against his back now, but Seth could barely make sense of his surroundings, eyes clamped shut barely able to breathe against the dick pumping him down.

Dean came first in a rolling wail that set Seth off. Before he could even feel that first crashing wave of his belly curling warmly around his orgasm, the bed made a noise like a crackle and Seth yelped, feeling the pleasure inside him and the sensation of falling as the whole bed tilted to the right and disconnected from the post closest to the wall. Roman let out a laughing cry, obviously occupied with the come painted all the way down his leg and his sweaty left hand, clutching the phone.

"We break it?" Dean asked, trapped with his dick falling out of seth's ass as Seth steadied a hand on the floor. Sliding away and rolling onto a couple of Dean's dirty work shirts, he used the wall to return to his feet again. Inside his hips and his ass, he felt wobbly and disengaged, while his legs tingled from poor circulation. The bed frame had apparently disconnected or broken, and Kevin was barking at the door.

"Would you chill out?" Seth sighed, opening the door and shooing the dog away as Dean was on his hands and knees, investigating the problem and collecting a fair amount of dog hair across his sweaty legs as he shifted around on the floor. Roman had stopped his recording and pushed past Seth to go to the bathroom and wash up. Seth grabbed a clean towel and wiped behind his balls rather hastily. 

"Well, good job babe, you broke the post," Dean laughed flopping on his back and pointing to the sagging frame. "This thing, the metal part just fuckin' busted." Roman re-entered the room, looking exasperated, "We could prop it up with somethin' though."

"The frame was cheap as hell, I guess I'm just surprised it didn't happen sooner," Roman sighed. "We just gotta make sure it's level."

"Yeah, that's my side, I don't want to roll off," Seth chuckled, lifting up the mattress to watch it flop back against the frame with a hard  _ flump _ .

"Did you-" Dean blinked, sitting up from the floor as Roman tied his hair up to get it out of his way again. "Did you film that? Dude, you gotta let me see that."

"Ha, I think so," Roman said, rushing to the bathroom where he'd apparently left his phone.

"I gotta-" Dean said, brightening up and looking at Seth intensely for a moment. "We could be on America's Funniest Home Videos!"

"Like fuck we could!" Seth laughed, grabbing one of the pillows that had fallen off the bed and tossing it at his boyfriend on the floor. "Who even  _ watches _ that show anymore anyway?!"

"We could do it," Dean laughed, pointing with an unconvincing sincerity. "Don't tell me my stroke game wouldn' spice up daytime tv!" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some ambrollins for the road. My computer is about to die, but you know the drill. Comment if you liked it. Kudo it if you haven't yet. Send me some Kofi money if the sex was on point. Sorry if there are a lot of errors, I'm running on no beta for the time being.
> 
> Hoping Seth has something to do at Wrestlemania. I'm getting nervous!


	10. Joe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The men sleep however they can manage it. Seth gets invited to a show and puts his foot in his mouth.

Out of the three men, it seemed Dean was the most handy at identifying the issue with the bed frame and Seth and Roman looked on stupidly as their boyfriend lay on his back with a flashlight. The most Seth had ever really constructed was a wooden coat rack with metal hooks when he was in junior high, through some sort of after school program. It was the sort of thing he wished he was better at, but he was at least grateful that one of the three of them had any kind of skill with these things. 

"Uh…" Dean edged out from under the bed, "The metal part busted, but it ripped through the wood on the side so I don't think it's gunna hold up."

"Can we just prop it up for the night?" Roman asked, withering slightly. He had obviously tired after all the activities and just wanted to lie down. Seth just looked between the men, aware that he had nothing to really contribute. 

"We coul' probably just level it out with some of that wood in the garage," Dean said, sliding up to come back to sitting, blinking a little as his eyes adjusted to the dull light. Roman nodded and Seth frowned, looking to the bed frame as Dean allowed it to sag down again and onto the floor.

"It only had one hole?" Seth asked, chuckling darkly. "Seems like a piece of crap."

"We're all too big," Dean shrugged. "Barely fittin' as it is."

Roman returned with a few planks of wood to stack, taking two trips to get all four corners more or less even with the floor. It was late now, and they'd really have to be getting to bed soon if they were to sleep enough for work the next day, but Seth was tentative about even trying to fit onto the mattress. The last thing he wanted was the shock of falling off the bed at night or the anxiety of imagining such a thing. As a test, Roman sat on the opposite side slowly, looking broody and cautious.

"Yep… well…" Dean muttered, watching Roman slowly roll to the bad side. The bed dipped slightly, thudding against the wood a fraction of an inch as his weight shifted. "Maybe… we just wanna sleep apart for a second..."

"You normally sleep on this side anyway," Roman said, rolling back to the good side and patting the headboard experimentally. "Did you want to? You thrash but you don't roll."

"I've slept on worse." Dean shrugged again. Seth watched as he moved across the room and flopped onto his usual side. The bed shifted slightly, but otherwise it was fine. Roman turned to Seth, slightly hesitant. 

"Slumber party?" Seth asked, nodding to the guest room. "Might be a lot of dog hair on the sheets."

It was weird being back in the room that had been Seth's misery chamber for a period of his injury. Sometimes Kevin liked to steal away onto the bed, and Roman had put a few of Seth's extra belongings in the area to keep them from getting in the way. But for the most part, the room was sort of stale and untouched, tidy, but dusty. 

Seth sneezed loudly as Roman turned on the bedside lamp and aired out the comforter. Playfully cautious, he sank onto the bed and stowed his phone by the bedside, gesturing for Seth to join him.

"We might be too much," Seth said, resting his knee against the bed and looking to his side with hesitation. 

"GOODNIGHT!" Dean hollered from the main bedroom. The lights flicked off and Seth and Roman echoed the sentiment loudly, their voices bouncing off the walls. True to his assessment, there was only a little sliver of space for Seth to fit his body into, molded against Roman's front in a very warm spoon. It was nice at first, and Seth tried to will his mind to calm down, accepting the situation, but he was used to breaking off of Roman after about twenty minutes and sprawling onto his belly to sleep. 

By midnight, Seth was losing his mind, sure that he was going to go deaf if Roman was snoring directly into his ear all night. He was impossibly hot, and slowly he unpeeled himself from his boyfriend's grasp, sticking a pillow under his arm and hopping off the bed. Surveying the larger man, Seth sort of wished he could just tap right into sleeping so fast, but he knew Roman would understand. 

Wincing against the brightness as he flicked on the hallway light, Seth gathered an extra comforter from the linen closet and fell onto the couch with a faint moan, gathering up the pillows there as quickly as possible to put himself asleep. He couldn't even be bothered with pulling out the couch or finding his phone and making sure of an alarm. Roman or Dean would find him eventually and hopefully the blinds were shut so the sun wouldn't wake him too early.

Perhaps it was all the run around to find sleep, or the fact that his face was pressed against the texture of the couch and probable snack crumbs. But Seth dreamed strangely and slept poorly, waking once because he was freezing and his feet had fallen away from his blanket, and a second time because he had a nightmare about falling into a cup of water like an ice cube. For about an hour in his sleep, he felt like he was scrambling around without any hope of escape. Around three in the morning, he stumbled to get a drink from the fridge and take a piss, woefully unrested but too sleepy to really process much. Accessing the house by feel with his eyes pressed shut. Seth flopped back onto the couch and dreamed a third time.

He was lifeguarding again and it felt blissful to be in a vaguely tropical heat. He was wearing his street clothes- just a pair of loose pants and a t-shirt with a snapback and his hair in a bun, but a lifeguard tube was strapped across his chest. He stood at the ready, but the room was very foggy and murky, like he was standing in front of a humid swap, though Seth was sure he was indoors.

Around the room, he could hear splashing and echoing. Instinctively, he reached for the whistle around his neck and fiddled absentmindedly with the tool, fingers touching the lanyard and pressing his chest softly. The splashing echoed very strangely to his ears and Seth's spine tingled. The noise, the temperature and the low light made him feel sleepy and tired, but he knew he had to pay attention.

Even before he heard or saw anything, Seth had a sneaking suspicion of what he was going to be asked. He licked his lips, preparing himself to turn around and got a sense of Deja Vu that almost  _ hurt _ , like windshield wipers going at full speed across his brain.

"How deep does it get anyway?" The man called Dalton asked. Seth sighed, almost amused as the eccentric brown haired man was leaning on the lip of the pool, almost obscured by the foggy mist. He was wearing swimming goggles on his forehead and Seth had no idea where he'd appeared from. 

"Nine foot ten," Seth said, his voice low and strange. Nine foot ten was how deep the pool he'd guarded in Iowa had been. It felt correct.

"All the way around?" Dalton said, circling his wrist loosely. "All three sides?"

"Just on the deep side," Seth said, his hand jutting out. He started as his right arm was thickly layered with tribal tattoos and patterns. Unrecognizable from his own.  _ Had it been like that the whole time? _

"You aren't normally the one here," Dalton said, almost bored. His eyes were predatory and inspecting, with his lip curled in his usual sarcastic smirk. "But you're not  _ really _ the one on duty are you?"

"I'm watching the water," Seth said, starting again as his voice was pitched and accented much differently. His tube was gone now though, and Seth grunted as he could see Dalton was flopping around on it, laughing as he came to straddle it and float above the surface.

"It's you, but it's  _ not, _ " Dalton said signing with his hands, as though he was supplying for an audience of the deaf. "Mistaken identity. Camouflage. But you'll pass the message along, right?" 

"I need that back," Seth grunted, taking a step forward and reaching for the strap on the tube. Dalton pulled it out of reach and Seth leaned down serious. "I need to do my job here."

"It's just me, and you know, I  _ get it _ , I sympathize," Dalton sighed, just out of arm's reach. "Gotta stay up to code and consistent and all that. But what's consistency anyway? Nobody can do it all the time and it doesn't necessarily mean you're safe at all. Things just come out of the blue and all you can do is hope you can react properly."

Seth blinked as a false reflection came clear over the surface of the water, immune to the ripples of Dalton's movements. Now Dean's face was looking back at him, gazing back at him disgruntled and exhausted, but wearing a tube across his back again. 

"You can listen and look at the same time, can't you?" Dalton asked, watching as Seth touched his face, patting the surface. He felt like himself. He had a beard, his nose was there. But Dean was looking back at him, incredibly confused. 

"Can you even hear me?"

Seth just shook his head, more interested in his own reflection than anything else. Annoyed, Dalton slapped the water and Roman appeared, swirling into view as the ripples parted. 

"Do it again," Seth said stupidly, and Dalton rolled his eyes, patting the surface. Now his reflection clearly showed himself and Seth surveyed his body with relief, examining his unadorned arms and wide, calloused palms. 

"Listen up sweetheart," Dalton said, waving his hands around. "You gotta get yourself together here. No more playing chameleon on me."

"I didn't do that," Seth said, shaking his head and gesturing at the water's surface. "You did, I don't know how to do that."

"Do _ you  _ remember what I told  _ you _ ?" Dalton asked, pulling off his swimming goggles and tossing them into the gutter. Seth watched them float away and he paused, wondering if Dalton had realized they had moved. "Are you hearing anything here? Or am I just talking to the air?"

"Look," Seth said, running a hand down his face and blinking hard. The confusion of it all mounting and biting at him hard. "You're being a dick here. If you want to tell me something, just  _ tell  _ me. Stop beating around the bush like you're some weird wizard or something. I really don't give a crap."

"Pain," Dalton said, counting off on his fingers as though Seth hadn't said a word at all. "I told you about the pain last, right?"

Seth grimaced as his right leg suddenly seized and he flexed, trying to shake the pain out that he hadn't felt since his initial injury. That direct, sharp sort of pain that seemed to suffocate him, emanating from inside his joint. As Seth gasped, it seemed to radiate, flowing outward, down his hamstring and then to the side of his hip, pulsing rapidly as his heartbeat shot up fast. 

"I  _ mentioned _ it," Dalton said patronizingly as Seth hissed and batted at his joint. "You remember what else I said?"

"No, what the fuck?" Seth said against gritted teeth. Dalton slapped the surface of the water again and the pain ceased as suddenly as it had come on. Feeling water against his shins, Seth looked down again and realized he'd taken on Dean's appearance once more. 

"You can't seem to enjoy being in your own head, can you?" Dalton sighed, "I don't think I'd like it either to be honest. Sort of manipulative though, what you're doing."

"I'm not manipulative," Seth said with Dean's voice, crossing the lifeguard tube under his arms. "Turn me back."

"No, you'd just… complain," Dalton said, looking aggravated. Seth could tell Dalton was struggling with something, like he was upset and trying to explain a very complicated concept. It was too distracting, watching his own alien reflection and trying to listen to a very annoying person who didn't seem to like him very much. 

"You're leaving," Dalton said seriously, finally getting his words out. "But you're not coming back. Not in the same way at least. I told you before that you're going to lose something."

"Yeah?" Seth said, a little impressed by how cool and unaffected he sounded. Dalton blinked and slapped the water again. Seth was Roman now, more broad and alert. Tense.

"Let's stay here for a sec, give me something good to look at," Dalton smirked. "Love right? We started with love."

Seth's shoulders shrunk as some warmth filled his chest that he wasn't quite sure of. Some wondrous bursting thing that really made his eyes wet at the corners. His body felt numb and bubbly as his mind began to whirl on a loop. 

Roman in front of him, wearing just a swim shirt and shorts, looking a little woeful, but almost bashful. Dean in a lifeguard shirt, his eyes lighting up with a blushy smile under overlong blonde bangs.

"Seth... Rollins?" Their voices seemed to echo and overlap, and with each annunciation, Seth's heart purred. Roman calling his name slightly hesitant, still shy. Dean barking his name out across a bar, still working the words out in his mouth. Enjoying them. Roman's usual frown curling into a grin and Dean's voice going quieter, softer, sweeter than he'd ever heard it.

A cacophony of  _ Seth, Seth, Seth _ over and over again, like music. On some linear time frame, the words felt more familiar and less tentative as each man's voice became accustomed to the sound. A  _ Seth _ to alert him, a  _ Seth _ to get his attention. A  _ Seth _ that was muttered breathlessly, like prayer.

"Okay, chill out," Dalton scoffed, slapping the water again. Seth crumpled, instantly reminded of the pain in his knee as his reflection showed himself again.

"Knock it off!" he cried out in his own voice, doubling over and easing himself to the ground as he joint was swollen and tender. All the lovely, amazing sounds of his own name being said back to him vanished and his chest felt cramped and tight without the sensation occupying his body. "Would you quit it?!"

"Pain, right?" Dalton said again for emphasis. "You get it? You get it now?"

"YES! JUST MAKE IT STOP!" Seth shouted. Dalton slapped the water again and his leg drooped, falling limp. The swelling eased and Seth blinked, his eyes instinctively darting toward the water again. His limbs were still fuzzy and familiar. It seemed that Dalton's magic or whatever it was hadn't turned him into Dean or Roman, but rather eased the sensation in his body.

"Now quiz time, can you remember the third thing?" Dalton asked, resting his head in his hand and leaning on the pool deck. Seth returned to his feet, testing his right leg as he bent it. There was no longer any pain. "Is some of this making sense?"

"No!" Seth spat, staring at Dalton angrily and feeling his face heat. The room was still hot, but a lot of the strange mist around them had lifted from the flurry of his movements. He looked around, eyes squinting to peer through the fog, where he could hear small splashes. "I'm just trying to do my job here! So say what you want to say or fuck off!"

Dalton's swimming goggles returned, floating into his periphery as they seemed to circle the length of the pool and come back to his feet. But as Seth stepped forward to look down, he realized Dalton had vanished. It was difficult to make out, but at the bottom, Seth could see murky grey tile, nothing to indicate that the man was there or had been there at all. Reflected, Seth just saw himself. He huffed a breath, thinking. 

Even from some sort of third view perspective, the dreamer knowing that he is dreaming, Seth felt exhausted and annoyed, walking through the fog and trying to survey the space properly. The mist was too thick for him to really guard in and the exhaustion of feeling so much comfort and discomfort at such heightened levels made him angry. The lifeguard tube strap nearly tripped him and Seth swore under his breath, steadying his legs and looking around, sure that he would see Dalton laughing at him or something equally embarrassing.

"Seth?" 

Seth turned around, but couldn't see anything. He frowned, sure the voice had been where he'd just come from. It sounded familiar and he doubled back, wondering if someone wanted to ask him a question.

"Seth?"

He paused again, his ears listening hard. Now that he'd heard it again, he was sure that Dean and Roman where there, each calling for him. But the voices were separate, decidedly distant.  _ What was happening? _

"Seth!"

"Where are you?" Seth asked, sure that his boyfriend's were becoming more urgent. The splashing began to come louder now, rippling hard and forceful. Soon, the voices were overlapping each other, harsh and brutal.

"SETH!" Roman bellowed loudly, Seth stopped in his tracks, heart racing hard. As soon as Dean called, Roman was yelling from the opposite direction. He waved his arms around, trying to cut through the mist. Dean's voice was more terrified and broken, like a horrible wail. "SETH! SETTHHHH!"   


"WHERE ARE YOU?!" Seth screamed, looking around wildly and wondering if he ought to just jump in the water and wade around wildly. He couldn't make any sense of where their voices were coming from, but the water shook hard and began to compete with the bouncing noise. 

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Dalton screamed. Seth whipped his head around and practically bolted at the man, standing on the deck with a whole crowd of people all yelling and pointing to the water, indicating a source. Roman and Dean's screams became unintelligible and Seth's whole body tingled in raw terror as he looked over the water's edge, seeing the prone, unmoving shadow of a person. Unmistakable at the bottom of the pool. 

* * *

 

All three men had better Monday mornings. Seth tried not to feel too bitter and annoyed as they each bumped around the kitchen over breakfast, unaccustomed to rising out of the regular order. Complaining would just sound like blaming and Seth was careful to explain the few things he remembered about the dream without sounding miffed about sleeping on the couch.

"Fuck that's the worst man, I'm sorry," Roman said, setting a cup of coffee on the table and pulling Seth into an awkward side hug. He kissed him on the top of the head and Seth just shrugged, feeling a little embarrassed. He never really remembered nightmares, but when they did, they were always lifeguard scenarios gone horribly wrong. He'd startled awake as Dean had tried to rouse him and apparently been shaken up enough to put Kevin on alert.

Unrested and annoyed, Seth hadn't mentioned that Dean and Roman had been in it. He'd only really remembered that they had been yelling for him, but he was sure the drowned person had just been some anonymous body. Focusing on the specifics was pointless, and Seth didn't want to talk about it anyway, sure that it was just a stupid dream.

"Work is a waste of time," Seth yawned, rubbing his eyes and brushing a stray hair out of his mouth and beard. "Wish I could just keep fuckin' sleeping..."

"You can sleep in the bed tonight if you want," Dean offered, putting jelly on a piece of toast and biting into it. "T'holdth up fine. Didn' roll oth or nothin."

"I had those dreams all the time," Roman continued darkly and addressing the table in a low tone. "Right after… all the shit went down. I still do sometimes."

Seth shook his head, unable to retort. It was strange to think about, but sometimes he forgot that Roman had performed CPR on a dead child for several minutes, and he immediately tried to put the visual out of his mind. As horrible as any dream could have been, Seth had no idea what such a situation would do to him mentally. Putting it all in perspective, he  _ really  _ didn't feel entitled to complain.

"M-maybe," Seth said to Dean, blinking hard and reaching for the cup of coffee. "I could just pull out the bed on the couch too, didn't think to last night."

With a shower and some coldpress coffee, Seth felt a little more like himself. Giving himself a quick pass with Roman's beard trimmer, he put his focus back into his day and what he could expect from work between cleaning and the upcoming fundraiser. Their vacation was coming up, but they still needed to coordinate with Sasha about house sitting. Seth still had one last PT appointment before he could skip town. At some point, he needed to hang out with Cesaro too and talk about his date with Del Rey. There were plenty of important things to prioritize before mentally checking out.

"Hey man!" Sami grinned as Seth came in, just a few steps behind Roman in the lobby as they usually fanned out to give each other space. "Were you free this Friday night?"

"This Friday? Uh…" Seth squinted looking at Roman's back as his boyfriend made his way through the turnstile. "Uh… Uce?" he asked stupidly "Were we?..."

"You don't need my permission!" Roman laughed, breaking character and admitting to listening to their conversation. "You do you man."

"I know!" Seth said, distracted. He rolled his eyes as Roman kept going, making for the clock-in station. "I don't think I'm doing anything. I just gotta like, pack up for this trip next week."

"Oh sure, okay," Sami nodded. "Chris's band was playing a show that night at this bar downtown and I already told him I was gunna go, but you told me you like music stuff... so I thought maybe…"

"Huh? Oh, yeah maybe," Seth said, smiling. He didn't really get invited to things that much and honestly he didn't really care about Chris Jericho's band, but he liked Sami well enough. "Who all is going with?"

"Kevin said he might, but he doesn't stay out all that late, so I figure he probably won't wanna see all the sets," Sami shrugged. "We hang out a ton too, so it's not a big deal if he can't. But if you wanted to invite Dean or Roman… I don't care."

"Cool! Okay." Seth said, blushing slightly. "Just uh… can you text me it? So I remember?"

All things considered, Seth was at least glad for the fact that he was moving around and being active instead of sitting behind a desk, answering phone calls or engaging in customer service. Kevin kept coming through the front lobby area, looking sunburned and sweaty from working outside, while Seth vacuumed the front carpets and swept the handicapped ramp on the entrance and exit doors. The sun rose high and the sky and mostly Seth just listened to Sami quip about the weather every five minutes as patrons came inside, complaining about the early heat. 

Dean came by with a popsicle from the gas station, and for a moment, Seth pouted, wondering why he hadn't gotten one, before he remembered that he'd actively scolded his boyfriends for having so many sweets in his vicinity. 

"When it gets really hot, Hunter'll get an icecream truck out here," Dean mumbled, licking red sugar water off his lips and wiping the sides of his mouth. "Like, durin' the heat wave when we got all the kids in the park, 'cause we mostly just sell water and sunscreen for sale."

Seth blinked when he heard the word  _ truck _ , suddenly reminded of something. At first, he'd thought it had something to do with the dream he'd had before, but he faltered, recalling rapidly. 

"Oh shit," Seth's eyes widened,"Have you seen Hunter?"

"Huh? Why?" Dean narrowed his brow. 

"I forgot something," Seth said, biting his lip hard and feeling really uncomfortable. "It's about the fundraiser. It's stupid-"

Dean followed Seth, assuring him that Hunter or Stephanie at least were in the main office, as he had seen them there that morning. Sasha was guarding the pool and waved at both of them eagerly, but Seth barely returned the gesture. He stared into the glass office door and could see a large man with short dark hair talking with Hunter in Stephanie's chair, while Hunter chuckled and typed away at his computer. The man's eye's caught Seth's and he pointed, making Hunter turn to look at the door.

"Oh! Here he is now!" Hunter said, opening the door and letting Seth and Dean inside to stand awkwardly in the limited space. "I was just going to walkie for you-"

"Yeah, no, I wanted to tell you something Hunter," Seth said urgently, sure that his face was heating up red. "You remember that list I had to go through and check for confirmations? I completely forgot- There was this one number, this weird guy-"

He paused for a moment just to catch his breath and Hunter tilted his chin up in a sort of awkward fashion. The other man looked on, almost amused, watching the scene unfold.

"This dude named like… Joe?" Seth said, looking to Hunter, who opened his mouth, "I tried talking to him on the phone… I don't know if I got a wrong number or something but this guy was… he was weird I guess. I tried telling him what I was calling about and well… I dunno… he was kinda rude... so I never got to explain to him properly what I was calling about and-"

Seth stopped as Hunter's face grew red and he raised his hand slowly, trying to interject. Seth paused and Dean slurped his popsicle rather loudly, breaking through the weird energy of the room that was becoming more confusing and awkward by the second.

"I… I forgot, until just now," Seth said, looking as Hunter pivoted between his computer and Seth carefully. "Sorry um, Sorry if I had interrupted something or-"

"Oh it's fine," the man laughed, clapping Hunter on the back. "Who's your secretary here, H?"

"Seth, it's fine, we've- I've got it figured out," Hunter said, ignoring the man and rubbing his eye. He looked incredibly embarrassed and Seth's stomach churned sharper. "Just uh, just go. It's alright."

"Are you sure?" Seth asked, voice growing smaller. Something was definitely up and he couldn't quite understand it. "I… I wasn't sure how much trouble it would be… since it's so close still. I meant to ask you about it sooner but-"

"No, really, it's fine," Hunter said, gesturing for the door. And then to himself and the other man. "I've got to talk and… finish up what we were doing right here at the moment, so if you could just…"

Seth and Dean slid back out of the door and looked on stupidly on the deck. Inside the room, the other large man was sinking back in his seat, looking smug while Hunter continued to look at the computer screen with a flushed pink neck. When Seth came in just seconds before, hadn't Hunter been happy to see him? Seth had the unmistakable feeling that he'd ruined something.

"Do you know that dude?" Seth asked of Dean quietly. He pointed back to the door in a way he hoped was casual. "What the hell was that?"

"I dunno," Dean mumbled, wiping his mouth again. "But… I dunno. It's probably nothing." 

" _ Nothing? _ " Seth asked, trying to keep his voice low even though nobody was really around. Sasha was on the other side of the deck, walking toward them, but a swimmer got her attention and looked as though they were asking her a question. "That was really weird though, you don't think?"

"Hunter said it was no big deal, it's probably nothing," Dean shrugged, raising an eyebrow again. "What the hell do you think it was?"

"I dunno he just seemed mad," Seth said, looking up as Sasha made her way over. "Hey…"

"Hey so," she smiled. "Me and Bay are going to watch your house!"

"Yayyyy," Dean raised his hand in a lazy high five and Sasha grinned wider, slapping his palm. "All good then?"

"For now," Sasha nodded, looking more resolute. Seth kept looking into Hunter's office still concerned. "We both want to be together and we both talked about how we want to be in a relationship right now. I think we're going to try to go on some more dates so we don't just like… end up hanging out but not really doing anything, you know? I think that would make her feel more special and stuff."

"Cool," Dean said, awkward for a lack of words to say. Sasha kept her gaze fixed on the pool, watching a trail of lap swimmers in lane four, but clearly she wanted to keep talking.

"But yeah, so, we can stop by some night and grab keys or whatever," Sasha said, glancing at Seth. "You good man?"

"You know that dude? In Hunter's office?" Seth asked, moving out of the way so Sasha could quickly look at who Seth was referencing. She frowned slightly.

"I think he's either working with the contractors or he's someone with the fundraiser." she shrugged. "He told me his name when he came in. It was like Joe or something."

" _ Joe _ ? Or  _ like  _ Joe?" Seth said, mouth open and staring wide. Dean actually laughed.

"What the hell is going on?" Dean snorted, watching as Seth gestured angrily and skipped to the door, as though considering to knock. He had to say something, apologize or perhaps demand some sort of explanation for what had occurred over the phone just last week. It was all so stupid, he could barely believe it was happening, but Seth groaned and just walked away, annoyed. 

"Uh, okay!" Sasha said, watching his dramatic turn. Dean followed after him, sucking on his popsicle stick. 

"Fuck this," Seth cursed under his breath, feeling dread and anxiety filling him as he feigned some other emotion than discomfort while patrons could see him. Sami perked his head up as he went through the front lobby door, but Seth didn't say anything. He squinted against the sun and proceeded to the little picnic table that was currently open, and shadeless. There wasn't really anything going through his mind, he just needed to be outside and away from the situation indoors. 

"Uh…" Dean said, painfully inarticulate but clearly attentive. Seth curled up on the picnic bench and heaved a deep breath. He wasn't going to cry or anything, but he just needed a moment. This wasn't like being caught messing around in the office by some homophobic coworker, but it definitely didn't feel great. 

The wood creaked as Dean just sat down next to him, blonde hair strikingly ginger in the hot sun. Seth could already feel himself sweating in his thick grey work shirt, but he just stayed still, breathing, enjoying the feel of the warm wood against his arms. 

After a few breaths, Dean pressed his foot against Seth's under the table and Seth swallowed. A few more breaths and Dean lit a cigarette and began to tap his foot around, nudging Seth playfully and licking his lips.

"I want to be on a boat," Seth sighed finally, closing his eyes and resting his chin in his palm. "I want to just be with you and Uce and I don't want to deal with all this bullshit." 

"Hmm?" Dean hummed, tapping harder. Seth nodded and began fidgeting with the wood grain that was splintering in places. Dean wasn't even looking at him, but the table just felt better to stare at.

"Mmm," Seth hummed back, chuckling darkly and biting his lip. "Gettin' tired of this crap. Bad knee. Being a janitor sucks ass."

"Employee of the month tho, right?" Dean said, shrugging. "When you think you can teach again? You could do that before guarding, right?" 

"...Probably," Seth said sighing hard. "Just gotta… see what the deal is with PT and all."

"Yeah but like…" Dean tapped the ash out of his cigarette. "You could teach baby classes again, yeah? The  _ water acclimation _ ones-" Dean made air quotes around his words with an eye roll. "Whatever the fuck Miz wants to call them, the ones with the parents in the water. That's all upper body, yeah?"

"Yeah, yeah, you're right," Seth said, feeling a little dumb for not thinking of such a possibility already. He hadn't really loved hanging out with a bunch of toddlers in a pool, but it was a hell of a lot more interesting than cleaning garbage cans and making awkward phone calls. "I should do that… when we get back."

"I mean, if you want," Dean offered, pressing his foot against Seth's again. "I'm teaching them right now with Kofi and it's okay. You can decide for yourself if you wanna be messing around with Miz anymore than you gotta."

"Right," Seth said, scratching at his bun. 

"Do you…" Dean said, shifting awkwardly and chancing a glance over his shoulder at Seth. "Do you wanna like, tell me what all happened in there? Or like…"

"Myeah-" Seth said, feeling weird. He didn't really want to talk about it and hear Dean dismiss it as something that wouldn't matter. It was just embarrassing and Seth was still sort of holding onto this blind hope that the Joe that Sasha had described  _ wasn't  _ the same Joe he'd talked to on the phone earlier. He just didn't know. 

Seth was also painfully aware that it was difficult for Dean to ask him these things. That he was really trying to be supportive, but was simultaneously really unsure about it. They were at work. There wasn't a lot of time.

"I'm just tired," Seth said, beginning to downplay and feeling his fingers tremble a little. "I dunno. I'm kinda scared that I messed up how I handled some of the fundraiser stuff. I think because I got employee of the month I'm all hyper focused on what Hunter's thinking. I'll-I'll talk to him later-" Seth muttered fast, probably lying. "I feel better now, I just needed a sec."

"You're sure?" Dean said skeptically, really turning to look at Seth with a sort of foreign concern etched into his features.

"Yeah," Seth nodded. "Thanks for asking though, really." He pressed his foot back against Dean and pulled a smile. "I love you. Lots."

"I love you too," Dean muttered, the edges of his mouth curling as he smiled back. A few seconds of playful nudging and Seth was more sure of himself. He didn't want to throw a bunch of shit down on Dean and then have to worry about how he'd handle it. Honestly, Seth was just glad Dean was asking, even if it felt a little forced. 

"I gotta get back inside in a sec here," Dean said, tickling Seth's side under the table and springing back up with his cigarette. "I got a semi private lesson in a bit."

"How long?" Seth asked, easing himself back up and watching Dean twirl around the handicapped parking spots by the concrete sidewalk, noticeably invigorated. 

"It's an hour, but it doesn't happen for another twenty minutes," Dean shrugged, coming to a stop by Roman's jeep, parked in the Employee of the month parking spot. He tapped the car and looked to Seth curiously. "You gunna do anything cool with that fifty bucks you got?"

"Uh, from Hunter?" Seth said, standing awkwardly on the sidewalk, mopping his sweaty brow. "I dunno, it's probably just going to go toward the vacay." 

Dean hummed for a moment, taking a decidedly long last pull of his cigarette and fishing for his phone in his pocket. For a few moments, Seth wondered if Hunter would be mad that Roman was technically parking his car in the spot. Surely a carpool was allowed? But again, he pushed the thoughts down, trying to keep up the light mood. Dean grunted at his phone, flicking the dead cigarette butt under the car and laughing hard at his phone.

"What?" Seth laughed, taking a few steps forward, eager to see what was on Dean's device. Dean turned the screen and shielded it from the sun, displaying a the group chat between the two men and Roman. Patting his pocket, Seth realized that he'd left his own phone inside.

On the cracked screen were a set of images pulled from their sex-tape Roman had filmed the night before. Seth muttered a soft " _ oh no _ ," as Dean paged through them. Roman had apparently captured the exact moment where the bed frame had broken suddenly and peeled the two men apart. Dean giggled at the start of the photo set, showing Seth wiggling around, all breathless and light while Dean worked hard, shoving him right up against the headboard. The scene made his dick throb awkwardly in Seth's pants and Dean giggled pressing forward through the moments. 

"Fuck, our faces!" Dean guffawed, doubling over and letting Seth wrestle the phone out of his hand, laughing at the last photo of Seth scrambling, mouth open like a cat being scared mid-jump. Dean's eyes were wide and he threw his hand down to catch himself. Roman sent a string of crying-face emojis. 

"Is he just in the break room looking at this shit?" Seth laughed, handing the phone back to Dean and sighing hard. A few patrons were walking up the lot and Seth tried to compose himself, looking more professional. Dean stuck the phone in his pocket and fanned his chest by grabbing his shirt and pumping the material. "Let's get inside. I'm melting."

Truthfully Seth wasn't really ready to get back to work, but he knew he couldn't just middle around outside. He knew he had to talk to Sasha about their plans for house sitting and finish mopping the hallway by the locker rooms. Hunter's embarrassed face kept coming to his mind though, and Seth really hoped he didn't run into his boss for the rest of the day. If he'd really messed something up, Hunter would tell him, right?

Joe, or the man that Sasha thought was Joe was coming out of the door just as Seth was entering. His heart racing, Seth immediately made way, pausing behind Dean and hoping Hunter hadn't thought to see the man out. He was about the same height as Seth, but a lot heavier, with small downturned eyes that lit up the moment he saw Seth, sneering. He didn't want to be intimidated by some dude in jeans and a t-shirt, and Seth set his face, staring back.

It lasted all of a few seconds, but it was enough to make sure that this man was Joe, and Seth swallowed hard, wondering what it all meant as he watched the man make his way down the ramp and onto the hot parking lot. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll risk monotony here and just keep saying that I don't condone Seth's choices and that if you're feeling tense and annoyed with him, that's sort of the point, lmao. We have to remember that he was the one that murked the whole threesome up initially, so a lot of this part focuses on that aspect of their relationship. I love Seth to pieces but he is a dumb boy a lot of the time. 
> 
> Just a few more chapters before their vacation. I want to do double updates around that time or at least post all the extra POV chapters around the same time. If you have a second to comment and let me know what you like or what you're thinking, please do! I'm getting fairly busy with work and things but I don't want to drop this at all.
> 
> Road to wrestlemania woop woop


	11. The Avoidant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean gets cozy. Seth and Cesaro take some time to chat after physical therapy. Roman runs into a wall.

As much as Seth wanted to vent to his boyfriends, it was astoundingly easy to pretend that nothing was wrong and neatly compartmentalize his stress instead. Going home at the end of the day meant being away from the issue, and even though Seth was fairly certain that the man he'd run into  _ was  _ the Joe from the phone call, Hunter didn't pull him aside before the end of his shift to scold him for anything. As far as Seth could tell, nobody really seemed to know or care what was happening. Though he  _ had _ carefully avoided the main office until the end of the day, he just tried to breathe deeply and think about clear the blue waters and sandy beaches in his near future. 

"How much swimming do you think we'll get up to?" Seth asked, looking to Roman with a sort of forced casualness over dinner, passing the nearly empty container of ranch dressing. Dean smacked the bottle hard, trying to extract more of the sauce and Roman gave him a look of mild annoyance.

"As much as you want, we'll be right there," Roman said, digging into his own salad. "Whenever we anchor it's basically free game. There's a couple little beaches up and down there, just little offshoots of sandbars that are fun to park at night and stuff," he pointed to both men with his fork. "You gotta remind me, I gotta pull out the inner tubes some night and make sure they ain' got no holes 'n 'em. It'd be great if you could help too, since I gotta finish some quizzes before we go."

"Yeah yeah," Seth mumbled, remembering suddenly. "Sami invited me to a show on Friday night too. Would you guys wanna go to something like that?" 

"If I got time, maybe," Roman nodded. Dean set the bottle of ranch down, dipping potato chips in the little splatter he'd managed to procure.

"It's dead," Dean said, of the bottle. "Yeah sure, I'm game."

They rotated that night, with Roman pulling out the couch bed and Seth taking the guest bedroom. He didn't really mind and wouldn't have made any fuss if Roman hadn't set him up without even asking if he cared. Dean went to put the chickens away for the night and Seth showered quickly, toweling off his hair and standing in the bathroom with the towel around his waist so he could brush his teeth. Roman sidled in through the cracked door, wrapping an arm around his side and surveying him carefully with dark eyes.

"You feelin' okay?" He asked soft and quiet, fingers rubbing sweetly. Seth blinked and rubbed toothpaste out of the side of his mouth.

"Why?" he asked, his eyes narrowing a little. "What'd Dean say?"

"Nothing." Roman blushed. Seth wrinkled his nose. "Just that work was stressful or something."

"I'm fine," Seth mumbled, bouncing his side against Roman's clothed hip all the same. "It's not a big deal, just dumb stuff with the fundraiser..."

"You've been kinda quiet though lately," Roman noted. Seth spit in the sink, avoiding his gaze.  _ Had he been?  _ "Just wanna… make sure you're okay. That everything with the house is okay. Knee. All that."

"I'm… okay…" Seth said, rinsing off his toothbrush and looking up into Roman's eyes, trying to be honest. A lot of things seemed like they were going on, but it was just life, the usual tedious bullshit. Work meant sticking to routine and trying to avoid drama. His friends had a lot of things happening. His family was having troubles, but it wasn't anything new. Seth didn't know what to say and he hoped he didn't seem sinister, licking his lip and tasting peppermint. "For real," he reiterated, as though to prove it to himself.

Roman kissed him on his forehead and patted his backside lovingly. Seth exhaled, feeling more relaxed and content than he'd been since the strange nightmare the night before. He  _ was _ stressed out, but he could handle it. After his knee crisis, Seth felt disinclined to ask for anymore attention than he'd already demanded. It just wasn't necessary.

"You gunna be okay out here?" Seth asked, trying to be lighthearted as he followed his boyfriend into the living room. Roman collapsed onto the pullout couch, looking just slightly overlarge for the frame. In his hands, he was holding his Ipad, displaying some reading material. 

"Yeah yeah, no prob," Roman muttered, pushing the pillows behind his back into a more comfortable arrangement. "Gotta read for a bit anyway, it'll put me right to sleep."

"'Aight," Seth hummed, walking to the bedroom to change into some house clothes. From the bed where he'd left his dirty clothes, his phone buzzed loudly in the pocket of his work slacks. Seth retrieved the device after he put on a pair of boxer briefs, shivering a little as his damp hair fanned his shoulders.

**Your PT told me that you finish your session around the same time i finish mine as well tomorrow...** Cesaro texted him  **would you like to get a drink afterword?**

**You dog ofc** Seth replied, with a few added winky emojis.  **It been going good????**

Cesaro had barely texted him over the course of the week thus far, and although his friend was hardly one to boast, he had a feeling it was because things were going  _ extremely _ well. Seth obviously wanted to know what was happening, but he also didn't want to pry or ask weird questions. It was just that Cesaro was so naturally charming and helpful, it seemed ridiculous that he could have been single and looking for such a long time. Seth's grin didn't fade off of his face as he pulled on a comfortable t-shirt and did a lap of the room, trying to think if there was anything else he needed before Dean plopped down for the night.

Cesaro replied with a simple thumbs up emoji and Seth snorted, sure that his friend was saving the details for later. Kevin darted into the room excitedly as the screen door was shut, and from the kitchen, Seth could hear Dean shuffling around and probably grabbing a drink. 

Seth grabbed his own Ipad from it's case by the nightstand, thinking that he might just prop it open at the bedside of the guest mattress and put something on to lull him asleep. Kevin hopped up onto the bed, looking for attention just as he opened Netflix and started scrolling through the various comedy offerings. After he settled on _It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia_ , Seth yawned and buried himself in blankets, already feeling his mind beginning to melt.

"What're you watchin?" Dean asked from the doorway, peering in from the hall with mild interest. Seth perked his head up and replied, softly. Dean slid inside, and Seth yawned again, sure in the fact that he was too sleepy to get up to anything terribly romantic. 

"Is it funny?" Dean asked, leaning in and watching for a few moments. Seth nodded, watching his boyfriend. He looked sort of funny, like a child waiting on tiptoes. Expectant. In the dim light, it was difficult to read his exact intentions.

"It's like... these friends that own a bar in Philly," Seth explained, pushing a length of hair off of his cheek. "Have you really never seen it?"

"I heard of it," Dean shrugged. Seth watched as he tentatively shifted onto the bed, then looked to Seth for some sort of permission. "You… mind?"

"Nah," Seth laughed making room on the bed. Dean snuggled right up into his chest, laying flat and decidedly the smaller spoon. It was strange, but Seth wasn't about to be upset by it. Dean wasn't nearly as barrel shaped as Roman, so the two men could fit alright without too much squishing.

"Uce busy?" Seth joked, resting his arm on Dean's side very lightly, testing the water. Dean didn't object and so Seth put his full weight down, pressing his front to his boyfriend's back.

"He's all busy with class stuff," Dean shrugged a little, speaking softly and staring at the screen. "I dunno."

"It's cool," Seth smiled, taking the opportunity to squeeze Dean a little. "We can hang."

For a few minutes, they just watched the screen, breathing with little snorts of amusement at the jokes, and Seth half explained the setup of the show and the characters, muttering them against Dean's head. For some time, Dean seemed tense, taking shallow breaths and laying stiff, but he loosened into Seth's hold, finding a comfortable position and letting his guard drop.

"I think I got used to sleeping with people," he admitted, perhaps halfway through the episode. Seth hummed, curling a finger into Dean's hair and rubbing lightly. "Last night was weird by myself."

"Stay as long as you want," Seth yawned, snuggling his beard into Dean's neck and closing his eyes a little. "I don't care."

* * *

The heat of the day didn't die down, even after seven o'clock at night and it was uncomfortable watching the sunset without any sort of reprieve. After work, and a sort of awkward session of PT where Seth had to pretend he _didn't_ know about his friend and therapist becoming something of an item, he was left sweating in his hot car waiting for Cesaro to come out and meet him. Dean had taken the Jeep that night to make it to his knitting club, and Roman seemed home bound with class work immediately after leaving White Water.

Seth put his hands against the AC, wiping sweat from his forehead as his phone buzzed. Cesaro was taking a few extra minutes and Seth knew that he was going to tease the shit out of him if it was because he was flirting with Del Rey. Exposed to the warm air and slightly swollen, his knee was sore and tired from all the light lunges and balance work he'd pushed himself through.

_ Almost done  _ Cesaro messaged. Seth grunted, putting the car in reverse so that he could move to the front of the building. He didn't even bother replying, sure that his friend would see him idling by the emergency zone. There were only a few cars in the lot and Seth looked up just as Del Rey and Cesaro came out together, smiling and talking to each other. Seth grinned like a cat, watching the two talk, barely audible against the loud humming of the car and his AC. Cesaro pointed with his good arm and looked thoughtful for a moment, and Del Rey paused, shuffling her water bottle in her arms so she could demonstrate a motion with her arm, flapping back and forth. Cesaro grinned waved, gesturing towards what Seth could only assume was her own vehicle across the lot.

"You didn't walk her to her car?" Seth said, loud enough to tease but quiet enough where Del Rey couldn't hear. Cesaro slumped into the seat with only his right arm to steady himself, looking blushy and amused, but also confused. 

"Should I have?" he asked, pulling the door shut and watched out the window as his crush walked out of sight, between two large trucks and a sedan. "I think she knew that she did not want me to keep me. She said goodnight and-"

"It's fine, it's fine," Seth laughed. "How's it going though? Did you just want to go to Joe's or something?" 

Eskimo Joe's was fine enough and Cesaro admitted that he wasn't really in much of a drinking mood anyway. Seth pulled out of the lot and onto the main road, prodding his friend for as many answers he could get regarding this new relationship that was blossoming. After a long day of skirting around his boss and Kevin (who was having an angry fit over a broken power scrubber) Seth had been eager to leave and hear the news on his friend's big date.

"She is… really amazing." Cesaro said, and Seth couldn't help letting out a little  _ aww _ at the softened inflection of his friend's voice. Where he was usually composed and more or less a neutral party to the words he put across, Cesaro was almost breathlessly happy at the thought of this woman. 

"She seems like it," Seth agreed. "Just… a really nice person. She's been really cool whenever she's worked with me."

"Yeah, and like, I do not know how exactly to put it," Cesaro said, sighing and swallowing, trying to refocus. "I took her to DoveCote downtown, have you been there?"

"Mm?" Seth shook his head. "What is it?" 

"It's not too expensive. It is a french brasserie type of place where they have a good selection of food. But… I do not know if it is just me, I mean, we talked for so long, and I barely remember the food or the night or anything. We both have been single for a long time and I tried not to talk too much…"  

"Yeah?" Seth asked, smiling wider as Cesaro just blushed more and more red, laughing a little and rubbing his bad shoulder. "Dude, that's awesome though!"

"We both seem very mutually inclined to one another," Cesaro said quickly, half shrugging and looking to the road fondly. "More so than I would have expected. She directed me to a sports medicine specialist that has worked with many Olympic lifters. We both want to be professional, but our interests are such that she told me that she is looking to refer out to trainers for her clients that are more on the casual side of things- I guess to put it nicely, just regular folks who are experiencing joint or mobility problems due to being overweight. She already has a network of people who are working with student athletes and aging populations, so…" Cesaro nodded, "I do not know yet, but it may be helpful as I am looking to rebuild my calendar."

Seth blinked, rolling his eyes a little as they came to a stop light. "Okay man, you've been out of the game I get it, but _ please  _ tell me that's not how you're trying to woo her, right?" He said, trying not to sound too harsh.   


Cesaro guffawed nervously and Seth just shook his head with a grin. The light turned green and they continued on down the road. 

"I brought her flowers," Cesaro admitted, wiggling in his seat. "I am not too poor at it, I do not think."

"Well, what does she do that's  _ not  _ fitness related?" Seth asked, looking to his friend, Cesaro cleared his throat and wiped his eye. 

"Her family is around here and she sees them fairly often," he said, thinking. "She told me that she used to play piano for some time, but her job has pushed her out of it a little. She is at that point where she is trying to re-evaluate her business so that she might have more time, but maybe less money, well, anyways." Cesaro said, obviously trying to not talk about work constantly. "She uh, she said she hasn't been in a relationship for many years and was not really looking, just focusing on her career and such. But… but she said she would be open to something like that now."

"There ya go!" Seth said happily, turning into the Joe's parking lot and shifting to the side lot where he usually parked. "That's fucking awesome dude!"

"Yes," Cesaro said, not waiting for the car to come to a complete stop before he unbuckled his seatbelt. "We have been hanging out many times in the last few days, I am worried she will be sick of me. But we uh… we did not uh,  _ do it _ ? I guess… no. Well, I think we are both wanting to wait a little and then it will be more special."

"Oh yeah?" Seth said, conflicted on this thought process, but knowing just as well that it made the most sense for his friend. He hopped out and shuffled to the passenger's side of the car to give Cesaro a hand. Grasping Cesaro's right arm and making sure his car door didn't slam into the white Sebring in the next spot over, Seth helped him get to his feet and he adjusted his sling carefully. 

"That thing must suck in hot weather," Seth noted, glad of the fact that he wasn't trying to pull sweaty leg hair out of a locking brace any more. Cesaro didn't seem inclined to complain though, and the two men headed into the cool restaurant. 

"I probably should have waited. To  _ do it _ , I mean," Seth said nervously, thinking back to the night he'd first fucked Dean, drunk and sloppy, leaving a dive bar. He barely remembered most of it, but the things that were stuck in his mind were mostly just embarrassing at this point. Sucking Dean's dick for the first time. Dean calling his ass a bussy. Getting pounded on a lumpy mattress. Waking up alone and finding a single shitty toaster waffle on a plate. 

It was anyone's guess how they were all living together now. Jojo the hostess came by with menus and grinned, showing them to a small table in the back where there wasn't so much noise being made. 

"You have made it work," Cesaro said, impartial as ever as he sat down and sank deep into his spot. "I am older than you also. I do not get out at much."

"Did you guys want anything to start?" Jojo asked, looking between the two men as they picked up the menus blankly. 

"I'll take a beer, Just a PBR is fine," Seth said, looking to his friend. "Were you hungry?"

"Just water for now," Cesaro shook his head and tapped the appetizer menu. "I will look at this." 

Jojo walked away and Seth's cheek twitched, lost in thought. Cesaro was still working through a lot of pain and immobility, but he was finding things to look forward to and do despite it all. Unable to work much, he had plenty of time on his hands, and Seth closed his mouth at the thought of dumbly asking what Cesaro might do during the maintenance week. 

"How are your clients?" he asked, scratching his stubbly neck. "The ones you can still train."

"Okay," Cesaro said, not really looking at the menu, gazing instead at the blinking string lights fixed to the wall. "I have one that keeps cancelling on me, so that is rather frustrating. But they at least do so before I leave the house and so it is not the worst." 

"Mmm," Seth said, looking around the tables. There were a couple of families eating dinner, but it was a mostly quiet Wednesday night. "Work is whatever. The fundraiser is starting up soon, but I think I majorly messed up one of Hunter's business connections or something. He's had me helping with that stuff, but I don't really like answering phones and doing office work."

"Yeah?" Cesaro asked, looking more sympathetic than dopey and in-love. "How did you mess it up?"

Seth explained the situation and Jojo returned with a beer to hand him. Still undecided on food, Cesaro listened carefully and pursed his lips as Seth described barging into Hunter's office to explain the man's behavior, not knowing that he was in the room.

"I know that place," Cesaro nodded, speaking to Joe's restaurant. "It's Polynesian food. I have not been to the actual location or anything." He paused as Seth just shook his head and took a long drink from his bottle. "I mean, you have just won employee of the month. I have never known Hunter to be upset about something and not say anything either. If there is a problem, he will communicate it to you."

"Yeah, I know, it's just a shitty feeling," Seth sighed, shrugging. For a moment, he thought about talking about his family situation with his grandfather, but thought better of it. If Seth had to be honest, the crux of his anxieties just revolved around the distance between himself and Iowa. But talking about it just felt stupid, considering that he'd been the one to move and had actively decided to work in Florida. There just wasn't much to say.

"I just need to get on that houseboat and get the fuck out of here for a minute," he sighed, clinking his beer bottle down on the surface of the table. "Take a break."

"I'm sure that will be a lot of fun," Cesaro agreed. "You are all excited?"

"Oh yeah, it should be a blast." Seth nodded, rubbing his nose. "We all need a get away. Roman is in school and stuff and his parents are always harping on his case about some shit. We're supposed to visit them after we get done on the boat for Easter. Dean hasn't had it that bad lately, not since all the crap with his car breaking down, but I know he needs it too. I just want to take a couple days to have fun and hopefully going up north to Pensacola won't be a big nightmare."

"That bad?" Cesaro said, raising an eyebrow. "But then… I remember you saying that Christmas time was difficult."

"It's just… whatever," Seth slumped in his chair, realizing he was whining again. It wasn't a good feeling, and he especially didn't want to act sullen with his friend's news of finding romance. In a few days, he'd be on vacation and he'd have some distance from all these issues. Dr. Del Rey had cleared him to do some light ocean swimming if he wanted to.  _ Why couldn't he just relax and stop worrying all the damn time? _   


"You ever been to the Keys before?" Seth asked, trying to keep the rhythm of conversation going. Cesaro shook his head, pondering the menu again as he saw Jojo come back around the corner, glancing at their table. 

"I have only been to Miami," He admitted, looking sheepish as the woman approached their table. "I am finding myself very hard at decision making tonight."

"I always like getting the fried pickles," Jojo proposed, pointing down at the menu. "They come with some BBQ ranch dip that's really yummy." 

"You would share with me?" Cesaro asked, looking up to Seth. Seth looked tentative, picking at the label on his beer. 

"I'm not hungry, it's fine," he said.

Cesaro quickly settled on some green bean fries and Seth checked his phone and looked out the window. Dean was going to beat him home he was fairly certain. He wondered where they were going to be sleeping that night- if they would rotate again or just stay put and deal with the situation as it was. To Seth, it really didn't matter. Dean had ended up falling asleep with him in bed that night, but at some point he'd shuffled off to the master bedroom and Seth woke up alone with the Ipad on low battery. The house felt messy, like neither of the three men were bothering as much with cleaning, knowing they'd be gone soon enough, and they had all gotten ready for work in a sort of confused dash.

"Maybe some time soon, we could all go out," Cesaro said, trying to gather Seth's attention. "You and all your boyfriend's and me and Sara. If we start going steady."

"Wouldn't want to overwhelm her," Seth chuckled. "I haven't told her I've got two. I think she's only seen me with Dean like one time." 

"Well, it is up to you," Cesaro said simply, "I do not think she would mind."

The two talked for a while longer about CrossFit and girls and the unique annoyances of healing limbs. For Seth, it was a little difficult not to sink into a dreary mood, but he was grateful all the same to be with one of his favorite people. Despite his initial statement, Seth snacked on a few fries and felt a little bit better once he finished his beer and took a bathroom break. Washing his hands next to an old and broken plaster cactus sculpture. Seth felt his phone buzz in his pocket and he checked it, half hoping it was from one of his boyfriends.

**When did u want us to come by?** Sasha asked  **r u busy tomorrow or friday?**

It took him a moment to remember that Sasha was talking about their house sitting arrangement and Seth just blinked, putting his phone back in his pocket. Really, Roman needed to reach out to her if this was going to happen. It was his house and he knew the chicken protocol better than Seth did. He could reply when he knew what Roman's schedule was and had a better idea of his Friday night plans between packing for their trip and going to the show with Sami. 

Seth touched the mesh pocket where his phone was resting carefully as he walked back to his and Cesaro's table. With his mind a little loose from a beer, he sort of wanted to ask his friend's opinion as far as peeking at his boyfriend's phones when they weren't looking. Almost immediately though, he clammed up and stopped, sure that it wasn't a good idea. Something told Seth that Cesaro would be overly concerned if Seth admitted to such behavior and he didn't want to find himself in a situation where he was making excuses. Instead, he looked a little like he was swallowing back a hiccup as he sat back in his seat. 

"Got the bill, do you work very early tomorrow?" Cesaro asked, touching the receipt paper on the table and sipping from his glass of water. 

"Nah," Seth shook his head. "But I should probably get going. I'll drop you off at your place."

The night was still over-warm even as they headed out, leaving Jojo a nice cash tip and speculating how long it would be until both men were back to lifeguarding and lifting as they once were. Cesaro put some Michael Jackson on over the Cadillac's stereo and Seth nearly blew snot out of his nose watching his very European friend try to sing along with his goofy accent. Once they parted ways, Seth put on The Beatles to fill the void, and felt warm and sentimental driving down the road to Grant Street. 

_ Can't worry about what you can't change _ Seth told himself, grabbing his bag and shutting the car off as he pulled onto the road and parked in his usual spot just across the street from the house.  _ Can't check out yet though, just a little longer _ .

He thought of his mom and his grandfather as he walked across the road and pushed the keyfob on his car, ensuring it was properly locked. Mentally, he reminded himself that he ought to call and talk to his family sometime before he left. No matter what, he'd find some time to Skype call them on Easter and at least make some kind of effort to be with his family. If it all worked out okay with getting work off, Seth knew that he would plan a trip back home around his birthday. Maybe he even convince his boyfriends so come too, if it was in the cards. 

Seth paused walking up the driveway to the side door as he heard Roman's voice from the backyard, cutting through the darkness. The porch lights were on and Seth's ears focused fast, trying to make sense of what he was hearing. The Jeep was parked in the garage, but as far as he could tell, it sounded as though Roman was on the phone, voice much more sharp and direct than his usual low grumble.

"I dunno! Do you think it might have something to do with the fact that Dad was hollerin' at me last time? How the hell are you supposed to act when something like that happens?!"

Seth's toes curled in his shoes and he stopped, wondering what to do. In the warm air, he could hear the tiny crackling voice of what Seth could only assume to be Lisa Reigns, retorting back in a shrill and angry squeak that was impossible to decipher from a distance. Seth tiptoed over to the fence, making sure that his head wasn't visible over the wood edge, trying to make out what was going on. Through a gap in the board, Seth could see the chicken hutch was closed for the night and Roman was pacing angrily through the rows of blooming flowers, head low, face dark.

"You realize that all you do is prove my point, you know that right?" Roman barked, voice unsteady and shaking with what Seth could imagine to be tears. "You know Dad scares the shit out of me- No! LISTEN!"

Roman choked and Seth's face contorted, wholly disturbed but unable to creep back into the house. He felt as though he was rooted to the spot, forced to bare witness. Roman was crying and his mother's voice was shaking over his phone, unintelligible. 

"We're staying with J-Jimmy. No, _listen_ , I'm staying there. We're staying there. This is my decision, n-not anyone else's-"

He stopped and Seth's chest constricted, watching through the fence as Roman drew the phone away from his ear and stared at the screen, confused. Seth's eyes widened as they both seemed to realize that he'd been hung up on and Roman cursed loudly, fingering the device and drawing it back up to his ear in a hurry. 

Sensing the futility of it all, and sure that he didn't want to be caught listening, Seth tip-toed back to the steps and tried to open the door as silently as possible. Kevin didn't greet him at the door, and the lights were only on in the living room where Dean was stretched out, watching TV hypnotically. 

"What-?" Seth said, his voice a bare hiss as he gestured to the back door, "What the fuck happened? What's going on?"

Dean sat up a little, drawing in a deep breath and opening his hands in a careless fashion. Seth toed out of his shoes, looking to the backyard where Roman was still pacing, dismayed. Dean was watching the Antiques Roadshow a little more loudly than usual.

"Same shit, different day," he muttered, putting his feet up on the coffee table and exhaling hard. "What else is new?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh! I just watched Elimination Chamber late (Which is why this chapter got posted later) I mean, I don't know what I expected, but I got really into it. I hope Seth can at least be satisfied with what he gets out of this year. For his own mental health I mean. 
> 
> Good stuff, lots going on. Next chapter here we'll be preparing to go on the vacation and Seth and Dean will figure out what the plan is for Easter. 
> 
> Not to whine, but I haven't really gotten any comments lately... let me know if you're out there. If you're enjoying, etc. Would love to hear from anyone that has anything to say. Until next week, cheers!
> 
> <3


	12. Definitely Maybe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will Roman's family push the boys apart before Easter?

Out of the three men, Seth probably got the most sleep over the course of a very fraught, awkward night. The next morning could really only start after they all drank large iced coffees or energy drinks, and Seth just busied himself at work with refilling toilet paper in all the men's stalls, hands fumbling poorly as he yawned. Up until noon, his chest cramped uncomfortably with caffeine and worry, and he made no effort to socialize during the little breaks between tasks. 

He had carpooled with Dean as he usually did, but they'd been quiet and subdued. As soon as they arrived, their paths diverged and pulled them in their own separate directions. Roman was stuck with teaching early, but the three didn't immediately congregate as soon as there was a little break in their schedules. Around noon, Seth obliged to eat his lunch by the emergency door steps, out back in the shade instead of the break room. He tried not to be bothered or think too much as a truck was coming through and unloading huge umbrellas for the water park picnic tables. Chewing the hastily made ham sandwich, Seth just kept yawning and picking at his armpits, sure he was sweating through the material, even in the shade.

It was humid, but still Seth preferred sitting alone to being inside. He was beyond stressed and exhausted, too out of it to really put his thoughts together. He only had one day left of work, but at this point, he wouldn't be surprised if a meteorite hit his parked car and started all of White Water on fire. 

"Seth, you there?" Kevin called over the walkie strapped to his belt, his voice crackling. Seth swallowed and unclipped the device, bringing it to his face slowly.

"Mmyah," he said, his words catching in his throat a little, sounding under-used. 

"Can ya check the chemicals in the hot tub in the spa? Gauge is sayin' they're a little off?" Kevin asked, the walkie beeped and Seth blinked.

"Yeah yeah, one sec," he mumbled back, holding his finger over the button. He rose with one hand grabbing the rail to the stairs and the other stuffing the rest of his sandwich into his mouth. Ambling through the hallway and wiping sweat off his forehead, he barely processed the patrons walking by or Finn's kind wave as the man was idling by the men's locker room in a rash guard. Seth just kept walking forward, numb to it all.

The previous night, he'd sat up with Dean for another twenty minutes after he'd arrived home, watching Roman pace up and down the garden from a distance. Neither man had any idea what to do, but they couldn't focus on the television at all with Roman's voice pitching higher and more emotional. For a moment, Seth's attention snapped to the backdoor as it looked like Roman was going to come inside, but he faltered and answered his phone again, voice growing low, then silent.

"Should we…?" Seth looked to Dean, sure that the other man really didn't have any clear input. "How long has… has he been talking to them?"

"A little bit before you got here," Dean said, finally just clicking the television off and chewing the inside of his cheek. "I don't think he wants us to bother him…"

"Well-" Seth sighed, looking back. Roman had sat down at the glass table outside and was slumped over the table, freshly crying. "This is fucked, we have to do something here-"

"We could…" Dean tutted his lips for a moment, clearly uncomfortable. "He likes that tea stuff… when he's stressin'."

"Yeah, yeah," Seth said stupidly. "Let's uh… do that…"

Dean filled Roman's tea kettle and Seth bit his tongue, clearly conflicted. There was just something  _ scary _ about Roman when he was emotional. He was a big guy obviously, but there was something very fragile about him when he was crying or clearly pissed off. His face would swell, and he would draw inward, clearly ashamed. Where Dean was quick to isolate himself, Roman seemed too big to get away, sucking everyone into his crisis. 

Opening the sliding glass door very slowly, Seth peeked his head out first. Roman's father was on the speaker phone and Seth bit his lip, frozen on the spot.

"-plan this holiday for us. When she asks you if you can stay with Rosey, you are selfish. We are your _ family _ . Do you know how much you hurt her saying those thing to her?"

Roman pulled his head up and Seth could see even in the low light, how tired and defeated he was. His whole face was wet and he sniffed loudly, not wanting to look at Seth as he knitted his fingers together and leaned into his arms.

"D-dad, my… my phone's about to die." Roman breathed, rubbing his eyes. "Can I… Can I call you tomorrow?"

"Call your mother and apologize." The voice of Sika said over the phone. Seth fidgeted awkwardly, not trying to put his boyfriend on the spot. However, he'd been dealing with the call for some time so Seth thought his curiosity was justified. Kevin slipped outside and his collar jingled loud through the darkness.

"Y-yeah, okay," Roman breathed. "I'm sorry. I-I love you."

"I love you too son," Sika grunted. "Goodnight."

Seth could tell at a glance that Roman had at least half a battery on his phone, but didn't try to make some stupid joke of it. There was nothing to say, and Roman just leaned on his knees and hands, looking away silently.

"Dean's… making some tea," Seth stated simply, rubbing his chin nervously. "Do you want… a Xanax or anything?"

Roman just shrugged, heaving huge breaths, trying to steady himself in his chair. Dean came to the open doorway, looking out on the scene. Rather bravely, he walked out onto the deck slowly, approaching Roman a lot like a nervous horse. Seth watched, feeling a touch of relief as Dean tilted Roman against his stomach, holding him where he sat, almost robotically.

"Is… everything… okay?" Seth asked, clearing his throat a little as Roman sighed hugely against Dean's frame, nuzzling as much as he could into his support. "Like, obviously it's not… but…"

"We're staying... with my cousin's for Easter." Roman said, muffled against Dean's hip. Dean drew his fingers down, rubbing Roman's shoulder in circles. Kevin sneezed loudly from the ground. The night seemed very loud now, with bugs and crickets chirping monotonously, trying to fill the space of Roman's phone conversation had left vacant.

This was probably the best news Seth could have, but it still wasn't making him feel any better. Roman's phone buzzed again and Seth stiffened, watching him examine the screen.

"Just Summer," Roman said, rubbing his nose and setting the phone down. "It's fine,"

"Tea's almost done," Dean said, putting a hand softly on Roman's head. "I don' remember which one you liked though."

"I'm fine," Roman sighed quietly, sitting up straighter and wiping his face again. Seth and Dean moved, allowing him to get up and re-enter the house. Kevin followed, and Dean went after him.

For Seth, it was all just bad news. He  _ needed  _ Roman to explain what was going on if they were going to head up to Pensacola. After falling into a half lie that had exploded in their face over Christmas, there couldn't be anything messing up their stay this time. Seth didn't want to pester his boyfriend in a vulnerable state and enforce any sort of ultimatums regarding his own presence at their holiday get-together, but he really had no idea what he would do if he was forced to watch Roman's parent's actively bully their son.

Nothing really made much sense, and so Seth stood in the kitchen awkwardly as Dean poured water into a cup, wholly occupied with putting tea together. Roman went to the bathroom to wash his face, and Seth looked to Dean seriously, standing in his way.

"Mm?" Dean hummed, looking to the hallway and then back at Seth.

"He's got to tell us something," Seth hissed, gesturing wildly. "What the fuck is happening?"

"He… will…" Dean shrugged, looking completely calm and unprovoked. "Chill out man, just give him a second."

"I'm not gunna  _ attack _ him-" Seth hissed, blinking hard. "I don't wanna just let this  _ go _ ."

Dean didn't reply, turning instead to focus almost entirely on the process of pouring hot water into a mug, as though it required his full attention. Feeling stupid and annoyed, Seth just sat at the kitchen island, inspecting the bottle of pills with DEAN AMBROSE labelled across the top.

_ Doesn't it ever bother you that he takes your medication?  _ Seth wanted to ask, huffing a loud exhale.  _ Don't you ever feel fucked up that our landlords are trying to ruin our boyfriend's life? _

Roman returned, looking a little less pathetic than he'd just been outside. His face was exhausted, and the strands of hair framing his eyes were wet from being washed clean. Seth slid the bottle of pills down the surface, but Roman didn't hasten to grab them, or move. Like Seth, he seemed a little bit confused and lost with what was going on.

"I'm sorry about all this," he said gruffly, accepting a mug of tea from Dean and leaning on the refrigerator door. "I know… I dunno… I know most families aren't… like this…"

Seth watched him, waiting slightly impatiently. Dean just went to the sink and emptied out the extra contents of the teapot.

"I think… I think that they think if we're at Jimmy and Jey's, that we aren't going to participate in the family stuff, even though I told them that we were. My mom was trying to get me to stay at my brother's next door…" Roman rolled his eyes, gesturing uselessly. His voice was much quieter than usual. "I dunno."   


"Do they think we're stealing you away or something?" Seth asked, hoping that his fears were unfounded. If Lisa and Sika decided that he and Dean were bad news, they would have a lot more trouble on their hands.

"No, it's not like that," Roman said quickly, shaking his head. "I don't- I don't want to tell you guys to just not worry about this, but honestly, it's my cross to bear. My parents aren't like that. They don't have any problems with you guys. Any issue they have, it's always with me."

"Well, that's fucked up." Seth said firmly. Dean looked between the two men, anxiously drying his hands on a towel. Roman bit his lip, staring at the ground.

"Look, I know it's not great." Roman said, "But… I dunno. There's not a hell of a lot I can do about it, is there? I'm trying to make sure that you guys are comfy and if something comes up where you don't wanna be at the house-" 

Seth watched as Roman bit his lip again, blinking. Even he didn't seem like he believed his words, but there was a sort of desperation in his face that Seth wasn't familiar with. Dean was clearly uncomfortable, literally caught between the two men, unable to escape unless someone shifted.

"You- you guys are your own people, you don't have to come… if you don't want to." Roman said, though he clearly seemed to disagree with his own words. "But… it's not like, it's not like you have to come just to make my parents happy- I want you there, I want to celebrate the holidays with you guys because I _ love _ you. I wouldn't… I know it seems like I'm asking this of you because my parent's want it-"

" _ Demanding _ it more like," Seth said. He wasn't even sure why he was saying it, but he knew that it was the truth. Regardless of how Roman wanted to spin it, Seth could scarcely imagine Roman standing up to his family and telling them what he  _ actually  _ wanted. Seeing his boyfriend so compromised by a phone call conversation was obviously difficult, but more than anything, Seth was sick to his stomach. Nobody, not anyone on this earth could tell him to do something he didn't want to do.  _ Why couldn't his boyfriend grow a backbone with his own family? _

Just thinking about it, back at work, made Seth's blood pressure raise. Even in his exhausted state, he sighed hard, glad for the fact that almost no one was in the spa area to bother him. He walked up the short steps to the hot tub area, which actually had an  _ Out of Order _ sign erected in front of the railing, dis-allowing its use. 

Blinking from the chlorine in the air, Seth went to the cabinet on the far wall and grabbed the testing kit. The PH was probably low, but he'd check before he did anything to counteract it. Pulling out the test vial, he rolled up his shirt sleeve and dunked his arm deep in the warm water, sending shivers up his spine.

_ "Well, what do you want then?"  _ Roman had asked, eyes darkening dangerously. "I asked you to come and you told me you'd go. What else am I supposed to think?"

"I'm not saying I don't want to go!" Seth said, voice raising and coming out of his chest in a nasally rush. "Look man, I think I can speak for Dean here and say neither of us wanna go into a tense, crazy mess where we have to pretend we don't care when your dad or whoever decides to get on your case!" Seth said, heart racing fast. "What the hell are we supposed to do if that happens? What would you do if we- we went to Ohio right? And Dean's mom yelled at him or something-"

" _ Dude _ , stop," Dean said, looking annoyed and shaking his head. Seth looked at him incredulously.

"Am I wrong?" Seth asked, puffing out his chest and feeling both of his boyfriends exasperation catch in the air like lightning. "What?"

"I can't help it!" Roman said, voice crackling in his throat as fresh, hopeless tears came up. His eyes looked angry, but he was clearly distraught. "I can't help this, I'm sorry, but it's happened my whole goddamn life, you know that right?"

"I… I know-" Seth said, shrinking, his argument falling apart in his hands. "Uce… Ro… I'm sorry, it's just…"

"Can we just fuckin' go to bed?" Dean asked, fidgeting awfully and staring at the floor. "I have a headache. Fuckin' tired."   


Seth pressed himself against the kitchen island and Dean moved past him, walking to the hallway and closing the door to the main bedroom with a curt snap. Roman breathed, his whole frame rising up and down as he pressed his fingers against the bridge of his nose, trying to calm himself down.

"Babe, I'm not…" Seth said, trying to soften his voice. He really didn't want to fight, and he was similarly frayed and tired. "I'm not mad at you. For real."

"I  _ know _ ," Roman said both of his hands coming up to the sides of his face, squeezing his hair back. It was about as broken as he'd seen his boyfriend since returning home from Davenport and finding the man in a pile of take-out trash and beer cans. 

"I wanna see your family too, honest," Seth said, honestly lying and stepping forward to put a hand on his hip and assure him of his words. "I just… this is really overwhelming for me to just jump into, I like… see how much this fucks with you. My family… isn't like this."

"It's not normal, I know," Roman sighed, still looking defeated, but unable to physically cry anymore. "Just… just forget about it…  _ let's go to bed… _ "

Swirling the contents of the water from the hot tub in the vial, Seth watched the mixture turn a slight pink from the pill, reading below average. After holding it up the light for a few moments, he dumped the water into the gutter and put his dry hand to the walkie talkie on his belt.

"Kev, I'm gunna throw some sodium bicarb in it, it's low," Seth said, his voice still low and gruff. After a few moments, the walkie crackled with use.

"Sounds good," Kevin said back quickly. Seth tossed the vial back into the container and rose to his full height, leaning on the railing for some extra support. 

His task for the rest of the afternoon was to power wash the locker room hallways leading onto the pool deck. It wasn't really such a bad job bad now that Kevin had shown him where to get the no-slip covers for his shoes. But still, Seth just wanted to lie down and nap, alone, away from his coworkers and the accidental bump-into-you-around-a-corner interaction that usually happened with Roman or Dean after lunch. Roman would be finished with his afternoon Water X class in about ten minutes, and Dean would probably be changing for some semi-private lessons if he hadn't had a class in the morning already. Seth was just about to see if he couldn't hide in the boiler room when Sami walked by him on the stairs, thwapping him playfully with a clipboard and jogging ahead.

"Concert tomorrow?" he asked, grinning bright and looking at Seth cheerfully. "If you can only stop by for a bit, that's cool."

"We'll see," Seth said, sighing hard again and trying not to look too depressed. "Still have a lot to do to get ready for this trip."

"Y'all good?" Sami asked, looking around the hallway and lowering his voice. Nobody was around. "Saw your boy outside chain smoking. It's cool… if you don't wanna say nothing. Sorry if it's weird-"

"It's fine, it's fine," Seth shook his head. "We just… we need to get out, you know?"

" _ Definitely _ ," Sami said, bright as ever as he waited for Seth to make stride with him down the hall. "I felt like that right before I went to Montreal. My car didn't start for two days in a row after I had Kevin come and jumpstart it for me. I was late to work twice and I thought Hunter was gunna fire me!"

"No way," Seth said, unable to frown completely at Sami's bouncy presence. Sami just nodded, looking deadly serious.

"I have some strikes on my record," he admitted through a goofy, forced grin. "It's tough when you're like,  _ that _ guy you know? Dolph had to do some of the front desk stuff and Hunter went and guarded to cover him. He's cool like that, but he doesn't want to do that a bunch of times."

"Yeah, yeah, but you're you!" Seth teased. "Place would fall apart without you."

"Don't you forget it!" Sami joked, hopping ahead as there was a backup at the front desk ahead of them. "You're a definite maybe though, yeah?" he called back, almost hitting his crotch on the swinging door behind the desk. Randy looked at him like he was an idiot.

"Definitely maybe!" Seth said, smiling back, "I'll see what I can do!"

Like clockwork, Roman rounded the corner in his slip ons and black rash guard just as Seth was about to make his way down the hall. Both men looked a little awkward, but Seth licked his lips, going for broke with as good an attitude as he could muster.

"You almost done?" he asked, smiling a close-lipped smile and trying to be inviting. Roman nodded, wiping his chin on the towel around his shoulders.

"Dean's computer won't let me login," he muttered, nodding to the next floor. "Gunna see if I can't log my stuff in ex pro upstairs."

"Did you call your mom?" Seth asked quietly, walking beside his boyfriend slowly. "How's… how's that?"

"It's fine, I did it," Roman shrugged and sighed. "Wasn't a big deal."

Seth nodded, that morning had been particularly weird for them, but it was easier to sort of bridge the divide at work, where nothing too lousy could be discussed. After a frugal, do-it-yourself breakfast, and some time to himself, Roman looked about the same as he always was. A little more tired maybe, and a little quieter, but his voice softened as he spoke. 

"I got… a lot of stuff to do before we leave town," he said sighing hard and rubbing his eyes, watching Seth earnestly from the bottom of the stairs. "I didn't do nothing for school last night… Once I do it all, I'll be off the hook till the summer semester starts. You think you and Dean can help me get the car packed up and all? We'll grocery shop once we get in… it's just the stuff-"

"Yeah man, of course," Seth said quickly, stopping before his boyfriend could nervously explain the whole process. "We'll tackle it, no sweat."

"Thanks," Roman said, turning on his heel and walking off. Seth moved on the stairs so Miz could charge past him with several large binders in his hand, mumbling something incoherent.

Checking his phone, Seth guessed he had about ten more minutes before he had to really get back to work and stop fucking around. He was getting faster at completing tasks, now that he'd done most of the cleaning two or three times now. There was still a school group in P-pool anyway, so Seth walked past the observation area, through the lobby and out toward the picnic tables where Sami had probably seen Dean sitting. Sure enough, he was facing the lot, wearing a pair of sunglasses and smoking as he stared at the sky. 

"Hey!" Seth said on approach, trying to keep up the same lighthearted energy that he'd had with Roman. A school bus was parked out front and the air smelled a little suffocating, hot and filled with exhaust. Dean nodded and picked up his Red Bull, drinking from the can and keeping his gaze ahead.

"You doin' good? I just talked to Uce," Seth said, pushing a frizzy baby-bang back against his head, feeling sweaty. "He's saying he wants some help packin' for the trip. Just 'cause he has a lot going on with school. I'm down to do whatever, but, yeah. Did you… have lessons in a bit?"

Dean just nodded again, tapping ash off his cigarette and swallowing. Seth didn't think he was really properly upset about anything anymore, just tired and lacking in enthusiasm.

"Just got two privates in a sec here. I'll prolly take a nap when I get home, but it's fine," Dean said, taking a drag off his cigarette. "You got all the clothes?"

"Yeah yeah, I'll flip out all the laundry," Seth said, kneading his right thigh a little. "Clean up the kitchen some. We could probably toss out the fruit and crap that might go bad." 

Dean nodded a third time, looking a little like a bobble head rocking back and forth. Seth stared up at the sky where Dean had been looking, incredibly huge and blue with only the tiniest strip of white flossy cloud sitting upon it. Distractedly, Seth wondered what the sky might look like over the ocean. He hoped it at least would be breezy and not so humid. The last time he'd been swimming in the ocean, he was a kid and all he remembered was that it was salty so he hadn't liked it.

Seth yawned huge, enjoying the feeling of the sun on his skin despite the stuffiness of it all. He didn't really know how to articulate his thoughts to Dean or to ask him if he'd said anything hurtful during the tense moment from the night before. The way he had stormed off, Seth was sure that Dean wasn't specifically upset about anything. Though, Seth also knew that if anything was bothering Dean, he'd be the last person to mention it.

"I wanna get one of those pineapple drinks," Dean said, completely off topic as he put out his cigarette and held his hands up, miming a large bowl. "On the boat. I've seen them, like, in those catalogs Uce had."

"Yeah?" Seth smiled, watching Dean squint, his mind filled with want.

"Yeah," Dean mumbled, "Like a punch or a margarita or somethin'..."

Seth went to clean the locker room tile and Dean met his students at the front as they checked in. He skipped off quickly to change, fluffy hair bouncing around in a mess and Seth felt relieved to some extent. They could handle one more day of this. Even if something aggravating happened at Easter, it wasn't worth getting worked up about it a week in advance. With all the glory of their spring break to take in, Seth knew he had to calm down and be grateful for what he had. The houseboat was all Roman's idea  _ and _ he'd solely funded it. Though he was sure of his feelings, Seth also knew that he didn't want to come off as a selfish prick for telling Roman off about his family.

Spraying soapy water all over the all-ages mens locker room floor, Seth knew he had his own family to worry about and was dully reminded that he should call them. Time was running out and although Seth didn't really have much to report, he wanted to make sure his mother was doing alright and was planning to set up a proper time for his grandfather to see someone about a memory care specialist. Since he'd had his initial scare with Don's memory lapse, Seth still hadn't really researched dementia or Alzheimers. He was privately terrified he might come across some symptom that might show up in his own behaviors and indicate a genetic link. Though Seth thought he had a pretty okay memory for things, it freaked him out to imagine a day he might be in a constant state of confusion or disability.

Just thinking about it made him anxious, and before he changed out of his work uniform, Seth put in a Chipotle order for himself, Dean and Roman, sure that he needed a little pick me up. It would be a quick stop on the way home and it meant that nobody had to cook or think too much. Slinging his bag over his shoulder and putting on his sunglasses to leave, Sasha caught him on his way to the lobby.

"Did you get my text?" She asked, pointing at him with the bottom end of her water bottle and slipping on her own shades. Seth nodded, heaving a breath.

"Yeah, I was waiting on Roman to figure it out. Last night was kinda distracting," he admitted, lingering by the desk for his boyfriend to round the corner. "Would you wanna stop by tomorrow? Oh but-" Seth paused, thinking of the show Sami invited him to, he pointed between the man and Sasha, catching Sami's gaze. "You invite Sash to this thing?"

"No! You wanna come?" Sami asked, brightening.

"What? What is it?" Sasha said, looking confused. Sami looked around to make sure nobody was coming in the door and he whipped out his phone, finding the Facebook event and shoving the device across the lobby counter. 

"I think I might stop by, depending on my packing situation." Seth explained, watching as Sasha examined the event information. "I'm gunna try to pack tonight and then go. You wanna maybe stop by our place quick, get the details and then we can go to the show?"

"Maaaaybe," Sasha said, returning Sami's phone. Roman came through the lobby turnstile, rubbing his eyes a little and looking between the three curiously.

"Can she come over tomorrow night? You're not going out, so really she can stop by whenever, yeah?" Seth asked Roman, pointing to Sasha. An older woman came by with an expectant face and Sami hastened to help answer some question.

"Yeah, yeah, whenever," Roman said, looking to Sasha. "Do you have my number?"

With a little bit more of their last hours in Orlando sorted, Seth and Roman walked out to the parking lot toward the Jeep, drawing closer together the closer they got to the vehicle. Dean would be done in the next twenty minutes, but he'd taken the Cadillac anyway, so it made sense to drive separate. Pulling down the sun reflectors and taking care not to burn himself on the metal seat belt, Seth looked to his boyfriend with a thin smile.

"I ordered us dinner," he explained, watching Roman sag in the seat and groan with ecstasy. "Got us some burrito bowls."

"You're the man," Roman sighed, starting the car and looking over his shoulder to back out of their spot. "Barbacoa?"

" _ And _ steak." Seth grinned. He was pretty proud of the fact that he'd more or less memorized his boyfriend's food orders. He'd gotten Dean a carnitas burrito with just cheese and sour cream. 

"I got  _ so _ much shit to do," Roman lamented, "I thought I only had one more chapter to read, but I've got two and the final quiz. I ordered uh... a new bed frame to come though. It's gunna get here when we're gone."

"See if the girls wanna earn some more money," Seth snickered. "Have them put that shit together while we're gone."

"Maybe," Roman said, his cheek twitching. "We can have the couch set up though for them to use if they want it."

They drove on, Seth had to remind his boyfriend to exit for their food and there was a little backup to merge onto the city road. The pop radio station played dully and Roman scratched at his goatee and neck, likely itchy from the pool chlorine. Seth just sat, happy to be done with work, enjoying the feeling of the blunt air conditioner blowing on his face. It wasn't an awkward silence, but rather an understanding of the fact that both men were tired and without a lot to say. Seth knew, to some extent, he'd have to take Roman at his word on some things and just take a step back from the situation. Although, if he was being honest, it made him anxious and annoyed the shit out of him sometimes.

Sighing, Seth inched his hand over, finding Roman's as they pulled through the green light, taking a left on the road and joining another line of traffic. 

"Weird to think we're leaving in like a day." Seth said, rubbing his boyfriend's knuckle.

"You're going to have a lot of fun, you know that, yeah?" Roman grinned, squeezing his palm. 

"I have a feeling," Seth said softly, sighing in relief as the parking lot for the restaurant wasn't stuffed to the gills. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone for such kind words last chapter! It's just nice that you guys are all still chiming in. I don't need a lot of praise and worship or anything, I think the best comments are usually just reacting to whatever thing is interesting you as a reader. If you do that every now and then, it makes the little gem in my heart glow.
> 
> Nearly to the trip. A lot of things are happening in my personal life right now (all good things, planning a book tour is a lot of shit though) so I appreciate the slow burn patience you all have for reading this fic. Wrestlemania is coming soon too! I'll be attending some live shows this week in preparation :D
> 
> Comment if you have a sec, hope you enjoyed, as always. 
> 
> <3


	13. The House of Blues [Part: 1]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Packing, the last day of work at White Water and some last minute surprises. Seth distracts Roman from studying and gets a text from his mom.

Seth always considered himself rather poor at packing, but this was doubly so with two giant bins of laundry cascading clothes all over the floor in front of his rolling bag. His legs were stretched out in a straddle and the TV was playing a Basketball game, Kevin kept begging at his feet as he dug into his dinner bowl distractedly. 

He could get this all done tonight, he knew it. Really for Roman's sanity, Seth was sure he had to. His eyes flicked over to the kitchen table where his boyfriend was spread out over the surface with his Ipad. He kept clicking a pen in one hand and frowning as he rubbed his eyes, exhausted. For a moment, Roman's gaze drew over the quiz he was staring at and Seth grinned nervously. 

"'Zit to loud?" he mumbled through mouth full of food, pointing to the TV. Roman just shook his head, eyes darting back down to his tablet. Dean came through the door to the backyard, looking sweaty and labored from work and heat. 

"I got all them tubes blown up, I'll look in a bit and see if they deflate," Dean said, scratching his sweaty armpit. "I cleaned all the shit in the yard and put new bedding down for the birds. What else was there?" 

"Can you rinse out the cooler?" Roman sighed, blinking and trying to think of anything else. "It's in the garage I think," 

"In a sec, it's gross out there," Dean said. Seth watched him cross over to their new fridge and pull out a can of coke, cracking the container and striding into the living room to survey Seth's go of the laundry. It had taken a while for everything to cycle through and Seth had cleaned up their shared bedroom in the meantime. Thinking he'd had about an hour to digest, he licked his lips, determined to finish the rest of his hearty meal. 

"Who's winnin?" Dean asked, looking up instead to the TV, Seth just shrugged, flipping to the next channel. Some show on the History Channel about World War II. 

"MMunuh," Seth said, wiping his beard on a napkin. "Can you get me a drink? Just water."

"Say  _ please _ ," Dean said in a goofy voice, walking back into the kitchen all the same and thumping his hand on the counter. " _ Pleeeeeease _ ," Seth sang back, curtailing his voice as he watched Roman sigh again. 

"How much more do you got left Uce?" Seth asked, grabbing the remote and lowering the TV volume all the same. If his boyfriend really did want to focus, he usually just went to the college campus and used the library. However, after a rough night and not much sleep, Seth was sure he didn't want to make such a trip.

"I'm just going to finish this one and call it," Roman yawned widely, rubbing his chest and blinking his eyes harder to focus. "I'll do it tomorrow. I'm so fuckin' beat."

Roman really did retire early, plopping down in the guest room just as Seth was putting a few shirts on hangers and ferrying folded clothes to their proper drawers. It was barely even dark outside, but by the time Seth had selected some of his more brightly colored tank tops for their vacation and stuffed them in his bag, he heard soft snores coming from the other room. 

"You think we could just pack a bag for him?" Seth asked, peeking in the room and looking to Dean who was grabbing his own duffel from the linen closet. 

"Do what you want," Dean said, not even bothering to look up as he picked a piece of lint off his bag. Seth frowned, watching his boyfriend sleep on his stomach, his back rising and falling tenderly. It wasn't really a difficult thing to do, especially since all three men seemed to rotate their wardrobes around in a blur. Seth was an unrepentant sweater stealer, usually sporting one of Roman's Georgia Tech hoodies or his new UCF one (it was incredibly fleecy after all). Though Dean mostly just took advantage of Seth's guard shirts, he borrowed his beanies sometimes as well, stuffing them on his head when Seth left them lying around the house. 

All the same, Seth tried to put aside some clothes that belonged to Roman that Roman could specifically wear when they were on the houseboat. It wasn't the most thorough job, but he stacked his extra pairs of flip flops, beach towels, swim trunks and light shirts that his boyfriend would make the most use of. Dean hovered nearby, grabbing his own chosen items and tossing them into the bag without much care.

"How about this?" Seth chuckled, grabbing a straw hat that was sitting on the very top shelf of their wide closet, resting on an old stained dress shirt that had been gathering dust. Dean looked up just as Seth plopped the hat on his head, obscuring his eyes. Seth grinned as he stood, examining his reflection in the full mirror. 

"I think Uce wears this when he gardens in the summer," Dean snorted, grabbing the old pair of sunglasses that one of the men had received at the closing party for the water park. He smirked as he put the shades on and posed with his arms at his hips. 

"Ready for the yacht club," Seth teased, freezing as Dean put the hat on Seth's head and raised an eyebrow, apparently unconvinced. "No?" Seth blushed as Dean shook his head, taking the hat off, putting it back on his own head. 

"Nah, your head doesn't look good with hats," Dean said rather bluntly, moving to the dresser drawers and fishing for something. Seth spluttered, feigning outrage. "This is more like it."

"What?" Seth whined, pausing as Dean pushed his hair back and pulled a bandana around his neck that he'd found amongst the socks and underwear. Seth's cheeks blushed brighter red under his beard as Dean fidgeted for a moment, tying the red piece of cloth loosely around his adams apple, pressing on his overgrown fuzz. 

"Like Fred," Dean explained, watching Seth examine himself in the mirror, puzzled. "From Scooby Doo."

"An  _ ascot _ ?" Seth snorted, pushing the knot of the bandana to the side. It was permanently stained, probably also from use in the garden. "I dunno man, I got a big neck." 

The two continued to goof off as they packed and cleaned, skirting around the guest room where Roman's snores ramped up in volume the deeper he got into his rest. Seth didn't get to bed until midnight, determined to make everything as simple as possible for Friday so he wouldn't feel guilty about going to the concert. Dean deflated the inner tubes, cleaned out the cooler and took out all the trash in the house before he called it a night. Meanwhile, Seth put Kevin's things in order and did a quick clean of the bathroom, sweeping up all the errant little bristles of beard hair that looked a lot like a confetti pattern on the floor.

Bags stowed by the door, just awaiting a vacation, Seth plopped down on the pull out couch and quickly went to sleep with Kevin cuddled in his arms. He didn't have any weird nightmares or disturbances with his knee pushing him awake, and he slept soundly with his hair splayed around his shoulders. When the birds in the front bushes began squeaking and alerting the new day, Seth woke slowly, warm and snug in the extra couch comforter. The whole house was very cool from the central air and Seth pulled his toes back under the blanket, feeling a shiver. 

Roman seemed to feel a lot better, but was still quiet and absent minded as he made coffee and put together bacon and eggs for a quick breakfast. Dean woke Seth up fully by pouncing down on the couch bed, strangely alert for such an early hour.

"You're so love-y lately," Seth groaned as his boyfriend gave him a kiss on the cheek and nuzzled into his neck fondly. "Is it a full moon?"

"Just feel like it, I dunno," Dean snorted, peeling away and imitating Seth's own look of slight confusion. He stuck out his tongue and Dean patted his chest and moved, allowing him to get up. 

When they actually got to work, the day seemed to move punishingly slow, as though milking all the extra minutes out of everyone on the property. Once the pools were closed at the end of the day, White Water would be closed to the public until the Monday after Easter, and all the staff were incredibly jittery with their excitement to leave. Predictably, the building was very busy, as the patrons wanted to make sure they could swim as much as possible before the service wasn't available. 

Seth started the day testing the pool chemicals because the guards were stretched so thin that they couldn't do so in between shift changes. But just as he was finishing up one task, the walkie on his belt crackled with some extra request or plea for help. 

"AJ to the front," AJ called, just as Seth was toweling off his arms from where they'd gotten wet. Hesitantly, Seth pulled the walkie to his face. He really was the only person on call. Kevin was outside in the park for another hour. 

"What's up?" Seth asked, waiting a moment and staring at the far wall. 

"We need… more towels…" AJ said, clearly flustered with who he was talking to. Seth rolled his eyes, completely over it. "One sec," he answered, waving as Sasha came by with her bag, running late. 

"I'll text you when I get off, yeah?" She said, rushing to put on her tube. A brown haired and bearded man Seth didn't know was guarding, but the pool was very full and over ratio.

"Yeah, gotcha," Seth said, walking over to the exit, making sure not to knock into an older man passing by with a kick board. 

Sami was so busy the dirty towels hadn't been flipped from the washer to the dryer. Seth bustled around the back room, quickly throwing in a new load. There was a clean bin full of towels by the back door, but they hadn't yet been folded. Hustling to the bin and catching a sneeze in his elbow, Seth began folding towels at a steady pace, feeling fuzz begin to gather on his thighs were his pants rubbed against the bin.

"Can we get a hand in P-pool?" Dean's voice crackled sharply over the walkie, obviously in some sort of distress. Seth blinked, hoping for some sort of clarification. Sami's head immediately poked into the back room, looking hopeful.

"It's not-" Seth mumbled, looking to Sami seriously. If there was a  _ real _ emergency, the alarms would be going off. 

"Can you check it out though?" he asked, gesturing back to the lobby desk. "I keep telling Hunter we need a way for people to just like, scan  _ themselves _ in!" 

Seth abandoned his towels for the moment and made his way to P-pool. As it had turned out, Dean had made a water rescue and was standing on the pool deck, drenched in his clothes and looking entirely annoyed by the situation. A large group of students were sitting on the deck, shivering and cold, but intact. 

"Kid just jumped in the deep end that couldn't swim," Dean sighed, pointing to the group just as the teacher began scolding the class about following the pool rules. "Can you just… stand on the deck till I get a dry shirt?"

"Yeah yeah," Seth mumbled, watching Dean slip out of his tube. The water was clear and there were no swimmers. "If you go grab an incident report, can you run towels up to AJ?"

Dean winked and skipped off and Seth sighed hard, looking around the surface of the water with a quiet relief. He wasn't really lifeguarding, but he was responsible over the water and had to stay there until Dean got back. He paced monotonously for a moment, enjoying the warmth of the area and feeling slightly disconnected with the hard shoes on his feet. 

Examining the clock on the wall, it was only 11:15. Seth sighed and plopped down in the guard chair, thinking of all the things he still had left to do before the day was over. Kevin had wanted him to put in a work order for a new swimsuit dryer in the family locker room, but Seth didn't really know how to do it by himself. All the windows in the observation area needed to be wiped down, and the vending machines were supposed to be detail-cleaned before he left. Aside from all of that, Seth still had a bit of packing to do when he got home. Just some random things he'd forgotten the night before.

"We all good here?" Hunter asked at Seth's side. Seth jumped in his seat, grinning nervously as he hadn't heard his boss sneak up on him. It was the first time he'd really seen him since the incident with the man named Joe. Anxiously, Seth laughed, feeling his heartbeat picking up uncomfortably. 

"Yeah, yeah, we're all good," Seth said, looking around the deck a second time, just to make sure that there wasn't any swimmers around. It felt weird, as Seth wasn't wearing a tube or anything, but there was plenty of times Kevin watched the pool to give the guards a safety break. Hunter didn't look upset or really bothered at all, just observing the situation he'd likely heard on his walkie.

"I got you guys all cleared for Monday," Hunter said, leaning on the guard chair and looking around. Seth blinked, unsure. "For your Easter thing. Reigns mentioned something about the holiday."

"Yeah, yeah," Seth said, clearing his throat. "We're all, uh… I'm seeing his family."

"Rest up and enjoy yourselves, I'm gunna need you guys at 100% once we get back. Even between all the new hires, I'm thinking there's going to be some spots in the schedule I'll need help with, as much as it's been nice havin' you as our runner." Hunter grinned and Seth smiled weakly, not really sure why Hunter was smiling so widely. His words and his face seemed like they didn't quite match up. "When did you say you'd be able to guard again?"

"Oh, uh," Seth sighed, trying to remember when his next appointment was once he got back. "I'm uh, getting an MRI after spring break. I think they wanted to wait and look at that… But I uh, I was thinking of teaching some of those baby classes-" Seth paused, remembering what both Dean and Hunter had told him about swim lessons. "Those sounded pretty easy."

"Great, great," Hunter said, patting the armrest to the chair. "Whatever you can do, champ."

Seth wasn't sure why he felt uneasy about the conversation, except for the whole weirdness that had transpired previously. But Hunter didn't even bring the situation up as he walked off, waving to Dean as he came back through the door, slipping on a fresh guard shirt and scratching at his wet head. The class had left already, finished with their allotted time, but Dean put on the tube anyway, preparing to at least look the part of a lifeguard.

"I forgot to run up the towels," He admitted, rearranging the whistle around his neck. "And the incident report."

"I'll grab it for you, it's fine," Seth said, looking back at the door that Hunter had just gone through. "I might be late tonight with all the crap I gotta do. Maybe I'll leave with you tonight..."

Dean just hummed and sat back in the seat Seth vacated, flexing his toes and slumping down to get comfortable. Checking the time on the wall again, it was 11:32. Roman would be done with his Tabata class in thirteen minutes, but Seth didn't have a second to spare and mingle around while he picked up. Shuffling back into cool air conditioning, he hastened to get towels up to the second floor, sure that AJ was going to be a pill about how long he'd took.

Despite hustling around a slightly angry knee, Seth still managed to finish up by two and leave with Roman in the Jeep. His fingers were cracking slightly from all the cleaning chemicals and his hair was sweaty and greasy, but with a quick shower he'd be ready to go out. Enlivened by the huge turnouts for all of his classes, Roman seemed much more focused as he drove them home. Just as they were getting on the freeway, he seemed to fall into a stream of thought rambling about what he expected for his summer semester of classes and Seth couldn't help being distracted. The heat had actually broken a bit and the vehicle wasn't such a stifling mess, but his mind way swimming after managing a few hours of unbroken work following such a busy morning.

"Where is this place even?" Roman asked. Seth blinked, looking at his boyfriend and away from the bumper of the car in front of him that he'd been staring a hole through.

"Which place?" Seth asked hesitantly. "Sorry… my brain's fried."

"The place you're going to," Roman said, gesturing with his fingers. "Tonight. The concert."

"Oh, uh…" Seth paused, drawing out his phone and trying to think. "Let me… check…" He opened up his browser and went to Facebook just as the line started up again and Roman tapped the gas, shifting forward. He'd remembered that when Sami showed Sasha the event, the venue was called House of…  _ something _ , but he really wasn't sure what the show itself was called or who any of the other acts were. He noticed in his friend request notification that Sami had friended him and Seth accepted the request without pause, sure that it would be easier to find the page with the help of his co-worker's timeline. 

"House of  _ Blues _ ?" Seth said, opening the page up and examining the info. From what he could see, Chris wasn't listed by name anywhere. Seth didn't know the name of his band anyway. "Huh… it's kinda far away-"

"House of Blues?" Roman chuckled, grinning widely. "Downtown Disney?"

"It's in Disney World?" Seth asked, brow furrowing. 

" _ Downtown  _ Disney, so like-" Roman pointed back to the other side of the highway and all the cars going in the opposite direction, South to the resorts and the airport. "I'm pretty sure that The House of Blues is in Disney Springs, so there's the parks and the resorts down there, but Downtown Disney is sort of the first bump off of highway four before you hit the park proper. It's right around a little lake, lots of shops and stuff."

"Well do you have to pay to get in?" Seth asked, rather put out by the fact that he's have to travel into the gaping maw that was Orlando's resort side. He only ever passed by Disney and Sea World on his way to the airport, and now that he'd been in Orlando for about eight months, he was sort of keeping score of how long he could avoid the park entirely. Roman just shook his head though. 

"Nah, no, it's its own shopping district with restaurants and shit. It's Disney so it's obviously a little more pricey, I take my mom up there a lot when she comes down. Sorta just somethin' to do," he explained, looking at Seth fondly. "Should take you there sometime."

"Mmm nah," Seth wrinkled his nose. "Damn, I  _ really  _ don't want to go down in all that."

"Why not?" Roman laughed, "I bet it would be a lot of fun! Beats havin' to sit on your ass and do homework!"

"Yeah but not if it's some  _ mall _ ," Seth whined, rolling his eyes. "Plus I gotta save money for our trip..."

He showered as soon as they got home and Roman went to heat up some food for a snack before he really got into studying. As the water circled the drain at the bottom of the tub, Seth wondered idly if the houseboat had any sort of shower, or if the expectation was that they'd just rinse off on the ocean and be a little stinky some days. Roman hadn't shown them any sort of floor plan for their watercraft, and Seth was just assuming the man had the good sense to get them something large enough to accommodate the three of them comfortably. 

Shutting off the tap and grabbing a towel from the shelf, the relief of being finished with work for a week seemed to finally pour over him. He wouldn't worry about White Water until next Tuesday and all he would be doing was spending quality time in a virtual paradise with the men he loved. Seth quickly slid on a pair of boxer briefs and put his hair up into a damp ponytail, striding into the kitchen without a shirt and examining the little itinerary that he'd stuck to the fridge.

"That hot?" Roman joked, coming up behind him and tracing a line of moisture down his back. Seth shivered, but didn't draw his gaze from his messy handwritten plan. Roman watched him, leaning over the kitchen island and finishing a mixture of rice and beans that he'd heated up.

"When we leavin' tomorrow?" Seth asked, turning to look at his boyfriend and blushing a little at how obviously exposed he was. All the handwriting he'd managed for the Saturday portion of their trip had read  _ DRIVE DOWN- 2 PM PICK UP. _ Roman's face strained, trying to conceive of the math. 

"Prolly like five?" Roman said, thinking. "Just so we can get food on the road and not stress about it. Plus there's Miami traffic and there's only one road in the Keys. It's Spring Break time, so there's gonna be traffic," he licked his lips, looking slightly apologetic. "You uh, you think you could drive?" 

"Mm? Yeah sure," Seth nodded, looking at their Sunday plan which had read  _ TURTLE HOSPITAL _ and  _ SOMBRERO BEACH - MARATHON.  _ He really didn't mind driving and he usually had a hard time sleeping in cars anyway, so it wasn't that big of a deal. Roman nonetheless seemed very grateful.

"Yeah, I just don't know how long it's gunna take to pack up and do class stuff and everything," he admitted. Seth glanced at the Ipad set up on the kitchen table and Roman looked a little guilty. "Next semester I'm gunna be more on top of this shit..."

"Well, you had all that family stuff blow up in your face. That can't have helped," Seth said, pulling a Sam Pellegrino out of the refrigerator and shivering a little from the chill. "I don't care about driving. We can swap out in Miami it necessary or somethin'."

Roman nodded and Seth smiled back. Dean wasn't even considered as it was a well known fact that he was rather slow and careful with driving, not really preferable for a long distance ride. Their boyfriend would be home in probably an hour and a half, but as Seth turned to examine the little map he'd drawn of the Keys, he was sure that Roman was staring at his ass like it was dessert.

Feeling flirtatious and cocking his hip a little to the side, Seth sipped from his drink. There was still more to do around the house before he went to this show, if he even went that is. The Disney revelation had turned him off of the activity, but he thought to ask Dean what he thought, though he was already sure his boyfriend was just hum and shrug and assure him that they could do whatever he wanted. 

Roman let off an all too obvious groan and Seth snickered, pitching his hip to the other side. As much as his boyfriend wanted to bemoan his lack of time, Roman didn't seem to be making any attempts to begin his school work.

"I'm sure we'll have plenty of time for you to stare at my butt on vacation," Seth reasoned, evilly posing and looking over his shoulder with a cheeky grin. "Break another bed open."

"You're not giving me a lot of options," Roman sighed, catching Seth's eye and raising his brow. Seth gave a long sigh of mock exasperation and strode over to where Roman had sat on the kitchen island, eyes half lidded and dark with want. Chuckling, Seth awkwardly clambered onto his lap, feeling a shiver as the larger mans hand kneaded his rear, much warmer than his skin. 

" _ Yeah _ ?" Seth muttered, leaving his mouth open and squarely falling into his boyfriends trimmed goatee. Roman moaned again and Seth could feel he was rock hard in his pants, pressing upward hungrily. The last few days had been stressful enough where there hadn't been a lot of fooling around. Seth could sympathize with the need to blow off some steam, though he'd endlessly tease his boyfriend about it. Roman was practically vibrating, keyed up and excited as he kneaded Seth's thighs in his lap and kissed back. Ever one to make a deal, Seth drew back slightly, surveying his boyfriend and curling his thin lip.

"I'll get ya good now," Seth said, tickling Roman's chin. "But you gotta get me back sometime in the Keys. In the water or on the beach." 

"Done," Roman grunted, looking more and more compromised as Seth ground his hips into his boyfriends side and began kissing into his neck. The chair was in real trouble of collapsing under them, but without the master bed to run to, there wasn't as much urgency to move. Seth inhaled into his boyfriend's neck deeply, kissing up and down and licking right to his earlobe to earn a few breathy pants. He could feel his own dick pressing uncomfortably against his thigh, but Seth was having fun being the seducer, prodding his boyfriend's buttons and enjoying the physicality of it all. 

Seth wasn't small, but he liked to feel it, wrapped up in Roman's lap, squirming his way around in the heat. Tanned, tattoo skin flushing deep and sweating a little under his fingertips, Seth pulled his boyfriend's hair out of the sleek little bun he'd been sporting. It was easy now, to blindly fan his hair over to one side of his shoulders. Seth had memorized his outline by now and he happily tugged on the dark brown locks, feeling Roman shudder and tense with ecstasy.

"I'd fuck you right here if I was tall enough," Seth snorted, tracing a finger around Roman's throat because he knew it would drive him nuts. "You wanna... go on the couch?"

"Fuck it, let's just-" Roman gestured to the living room, running out of words in his vocabulary that seemed to be worth using. "Floor. Don't care… 'bout rug burn…"

All the same, Seth tossed a blanket on the floor crudely so his boyfriend wouldn't have to be seen sporting knees that were rubbed raw for any vacation photos. Roman collapsed down onto the ground and began to slide out of his clothes recklessly, pushing hair out of his eyes as Seth stood and surveyed him. He really did enjoy fucking Roman, though he did consider himself to lean toward bottoming on most occasions. Sex was fun when it was athletic though, and there were times when it was too difficult to even think with a cock up his ass, so Seth liked to vary it up on occasion. Roman laying out on the floor like some work of art with summery sunshine cascading through the window, Seth couldn't imagine closing the blinds. 

"Lube," Roman sighed, pulling his own dick into his hand and giving it a little tug. Seth swallowed and nodded, skipping off to the bedroom to grab their communal bottle. When he returned, Kevin was trying to lick Roman's face and Seth whined, shoving the dog aside. 

"That's mine Kev," he teased, really hoping his dog wasn't going to be a pain in the ass about this. Roman grinned and Seth came over the top of him, kissing and massaging his shoulders sweetly. 

Roman  _ loved _ touch, the  complete opposite of Dean that usually had to be warmed to the idea of being prodded in a non-sexual context. Seth could allow himself to let his hands wander distractedly and never worry about what they were doing. Kevin sneezed and scooted off, and Roman kissed back, rubbing his own dick and curling his toes on the blanket. 

"I'll… wash this later…" Roman said, grabbing a fist full of the blanket under him and groaning against Seth's teeth. "I don't give a fuck," 

"You wanna make a mess?" Seth asked, his cheek twitching slightly as his knee felt uncomfortable on the hard ground. Before he could put a ton of lube on his hand, Seth grabbed a pillow from the sofa and tucked it under his leg carefully.

"Good?" Roman asked, looking to Seth carefully for a reading. Seth just slung his boyfriend's huge leg over his shoulder, opening him up and leaving him bare. Roman usually kept himself very tidy. His ass was clear cut and his skin was very silky and inviting. Uncircumcised and huge, Seth felt his ass clench at the sight of the shadow cast by his boyfriend's dick.

For a while, he just worked carefully, sliding his fingers in and out of Roman with all the attention and care in the world. The man was just so receptive and honest, it was easy to feel proud of himself working away at the back of his rear, slick and simple. Seth usually just thought about what he liked and tried to mimic it as best as he could, starting off with a little circular action of his wrist as he dug out to where he thought Roman's special spot was. It was enough to make Seth's own dick leak as his boyfriend grunted and shifted, sweating a little and straining pink in the face around Seth's hand. 

Roman always made noises, so it was sometimes hard to tell if he was really getting to the point of it all. But Seth knew he found a good place when Roman's knee shook against his shoulder and his ass tightened up, encouraging the pressure.

" _ Fuck _ -" Roman sighed breathlessly, his mouth gaping slightly as he tilted his head back. From his position, Seth could only see the whites of his eyes, obviously surrendering to the motion of Seth's hand bobbing back and forth, clamming up with lube and moisture. Not as skillfully as he might have liked, Seth grabbed at his own dick with his other hand and quickly wet it, preparing to lean in as best as he could and give Roman all that he had. 

"That n-nice?" Seth asked, his own breath being slightly punched out of him from the tension of Roman's backside suddenly sliding him into place. It was a lot all at once, and Seth honestly felt like he was sucked in, crammed inside without any time to really acclimate. Breathing deeply and making sure he didn't bottom out too quickly, Seth rolled his hips, his right knee twinging narrowly on it's pillow. 

"Y-yeah-" Roman practically coughed and Seth let his leg flop back down so that he could just barely reach in and kiss his boyfriend on the lips. Stroke after stroke, he was trying to find that same spot his hand had located, recreating the sensation. With another ragged breath, Roman twitched and Seth chuckled, sure he'd found his spot. 

"F-f-ucking p-perfect," Roman croaked with each successive stroke, trying to swallow and breathe and brace himself all at once. Seth just blushed harder and continued to admire the scene in front of him, sweet and savory. With one shaky hand, Roman pulled Seth's hair out of it's tie and damp locks cascaded down his shoulders, falling into his face messily. 

"Mmm," Seth half whined, picking up the pace a little as he thought of the two, miraculously floating in the ocean, able to fuck each other in warm water or flopped on the hottest, sun dried beach towels. Distantly, Seth could hear his phone buzzing from the kitchen island, but he plodded on, feeling his dick and balls tingling, focused. Roman's own dick was leaking, soft and sleepy on his lower belly, making a mess. For whatever lust filled reason, Seth licked his lips, feeling the urge to take it in his mouth and wake it up.  _ Goddamnit _ , he croaked, fighting off his orgasm. _ Fuck _ ...

Roman was practically writhing on the ground, unable to root down and be comfortable on the hard surface beneath his back. Respectful of the fact that his boyfriend had to sit down and do schoolwork that evening, Seth hastened to pull out and come on his belly instead, groaning loudly and chattering his teeth. The splatter mixed with Roman's own shiny mess, which leaked down his sides and onto the blanket. 

" _ Goddamn _ ," Roman panted, fanning his hips a little and breathing hard. Making good on his previous urges, Seth's head lulled and fell toward his crotch where he began to kiss and suckle. His gut was tingling from his orgasm and Roman's sweat wicked the sides of his face, but Seth knew his boyfriend wanted some more release. As much as he didn't want to be proud of it, Seth knew he could suck a dick half asleep if he had to. 

"Glazed ya," Seth teased, poking his lover's wet stomach and winking over the mound of his crotch. Roman shivered a little from the ticklish touch, but otherwise relaxed as his dick eagerly began to grow in Seth's mouth, happy to fill the back of his throat. 

When Roman finally came and Seth slumped over his lover's thigh nursing a slightly sore throat, it was probably past 3:30. The light was still hanging over them and Roman was starting to itch with dried come flaking across his side. With a soft pat, Seth shifted and Roman stood up, sighing softly and shuffling off to the bathroom to clean up with his hair waving back and forth with each step. 

"Feel better?" Seth called, muffled from laying face down on the floor. Roman responded with a  _ Yeah _ from beyond the closed door. He was conscious of his phone buzzing again, but Seth just wanted to continue lying on the floor. He didn't really want to go anywhere or do anything at that point, though he was sure that he would disappoint Sami to some extent if he didn't make much of an effort. 

Tugging his pants back on, Seth kneaded his leg and stood to his feet, shuffling over to the kitchen island as he re-tied his hair in a bun. At first, he thought it might be Sasha texting him that she'd gotten off of work, but he felt awkward the moment he saw his mother's contact information.

**Are you on your vacation yet? How is your knee?**

**Grandpa is still not feeling well but we scheduled an appointment with the doctor for early April. Hope your are doing well -mom**

Seth could hear the noise of Roman quickly jumping in the shower and he walked to the bedroom to quickly throw on a shirt. Aside from the feeling of a nice raw orgasm being tugged out of him, the happy feeling in his chest began to curdle slightly with the poor news. More than anything though, he felt bad about forgetting to contact his mother. As soon as he was dressed, he walked out onto the back patio with his phone and dialed her number. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Continued in Part 2


	14. The House of Blues [Part: 2]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seth talks to his mom and then goes with Dean, Sasha and Bayley to the House of Blues. Special Cameos!

"Hello!" Holly said happily, just two rings into the connection.

"Hey ma," Seth said, scratching his nose. "What's up? I got your text."

"Oh, not much, how are you?" She asked. Seth couldn't detect any hint of annoyance in her voice. It sounded as though she was in her car on the way home and was just genuinely glad to hear from him. Crispy and Peep 2 came waddling by and Seth relaxed more into his seat.

"I'm fine, we're leaving for our trip tomorrow actually," Seth explained, picking stray dog hair off his arm. "Should be really fun… got lots of stuff that we're going to try to do. It'll be nice to get away for a bit."

"You said it, it's only eleven degrees over here today!" Holly chided. Seth couldn't help but smile, sure there was at least a seventy degree difference in their locations. 

"Yeah yeah, it was actually really hot the other day," Seth said, "Hoping it'll be nice and breezy by the ocean. We're uh, we're going to go to Easter up with Roman's family, but if you guys wanted to Skype me at some point, I definitely want to."

"Yeah, we'll do that, definitely," Holly said. "I think Bob's going to cook this year, but we might bring it over to the farm just so it's easier on Grandpa."

"Y-yeah-" Seth said nervously. "What's up with that?" From the other side of the line, he could hear his mother gather her breath.

"I don't think he has pneumonia again, but it doesn't seem great," she sighed. "The last time I visited with Brandon and we brought him some food. He really doesn't want to go to the hospital because he thinks it's just a cold, but he has been resting a lot more." 

"Can he still like… do all the stuff he needs to?" Seth asked sadly, sure that his mother was doing everything she could, but also just very depressed by the news. "Eating and getting around and all that?"

"Bob's going to talk with him about getting groceries delivered this weekend I believe," Holly said. "We all know he doesn't want to leave the house- but I know he's starting to feel guilty about his choices, considering that we're going out to Buffalo a lot more and making sure that everything is taken care of."

"How's… Brandon?" Seth asked, trying to change the subject a little. "How's work? All… that stuff…"

"Brandon's fine," his mother said, obviously smiling. "He got promoted at his job this week! Did he tell you?"

"No, but that's awesome," Seth said, watching Peep 2 and Lars fight over a dandelion bloom. "Makin' more money now?"

He continued to talk with his mom for another fifteen minutes or so. Roman came by and offered him a glass of sweet tea, and the chickens began to circle, wondering if Seth might give them some sort of treat. Taking care not to step in any chicken poop, he walked through the garden area with the birds in tow, gathering a handful of bird treats from the bin and sprinkling them around the ground while his mother discussed Brandon's new position at the auto parts shop. With cautious interest, Holly asked about Roman and Dean and Seth gave her a rather summarized description of the goings on, minus the less rosy bits regarding Roman's latest stressors. 

Skirting around the topic of his grandfather's health and memory, it was actually a fine conversation. A little after four, Seth's head perked up as he heard the noise of more than one person walking up the driveway.

"Well, I'm probably going out tonight to Downtown Disney of all places," Seth whined over the phone and glanced to the edge of the fence. "I didn't know that my friend's friend's band was playing there, but I already agreed to go." 

"That sounds fun though!" Holly said excitedly. "Take lots of pictures of it!"

" _ If  _ I go," Seth rolled his eyes. Dean, Sasha and Bayley all walked through the back and the chickens rushed to greet them. Sasha and Bayley made noises of excitement but immediately put their hands to their mouths apologetic as they realized Seth was on the phone. "Anyways... I love you ma, Dean just got home so I'll talk to you later."

"I love you sweetheart, enjoy your trip and have fun tonight!" Holly said. Dean walked over just as he pulled the phone away from his face, squinting against the sunlight.

"Good last day?" Seth asked, drinking from his tea and watching the girls admire the chickens. "I found out that concert is right by Disney World, you still wanna do it?"

"Mm? Sure, why not?" Dean muttered. "I think I been over there before."

"You can't just dip now!" Sasha complained, looking to Seth with mild exasperation. "We can booze up here and then drive over if you're worried about the cost."

"Excuse you, who is driving?" Seth spluttered, looking between the three. Roman came out onto the deck with Seth's old can of Sam Pellegrino, drinking the flat beverage. 

"Uuuuuuce," Dean said cheerfully, smacking his gum and grinning under his sunglasses. "You wanna drive us to Disney Land?"

"Disney  _ World _ ?" Roman corrected. "Not really, I need to get to work or else I'm going to be up all night." His eyes flicked up to Sasha and Bayley. "Did you ladies want the quick tour?"

Seth followed everyone else into the house, still unsure as to how the evening was going to logistically function. Disappearing back into the air conditioning and shivering a little, Seth knew that he didn't want to drink too much, but he also didn't want to be the solely sober person either. It wasn't as though his boyfriend or his friends were obnoxious drunks, but Seth would have preferred to just go to Eskimo Joe's and get a celebratory Spring Break beer if he was going to go at all. He could hit up Cesaro and see if he wanted to come too, just so he got to see his friend before he left town. 

However, Sasha and Bayley seemed intent on going to the concert and Dean had no issue with the proximity to the resorts. They shuffled around the house and Roman showed the girls where the linen closet was and how the laundry machine worked if they needed to use it. Kevin bounded around their feet and Seth obliged to scoop the little dog up and make his way to the couch. Dean toed out of his shoes and set down his work bag by the door.

"The porch lights are there-" Roman said pointing to the outlet on the wall by the back door. "If you wanted to light the grill, the stove lighter is in the top drawer right there," he gestured to the communal miscellaneous drawer. "Just make sure the gas gets shut off when you're done."

"Yeah yeah," Sasha said, holding out her hand as Roman gave her the spare set of keys to the property. "What about the chickens?"

Roman led the girls outside and Seth sighed, scratching Kevin's head and watching as Dean surveyed the house and the stack of bags by the door. In some ways, things were clean and tidy, but the kitchen table was a mess of Roman's papers. The carpets had been vacuumed, but the dirty blanket that Seth had fucked Roman on was wadded up in a ball by the closet. Dean stuck his sunglasses in his pocket and looked at his phone for a moment while Roman's voice echoed dully outside. 

"I can drive us tonight, but I don't wanna be out really late," Seth said to Dean, arresting his attention. "I'm gunna drive us in the morning, so I don't wanna be all burned out."

"M'okay," Dean said, nodding and sticking his phone back in his pocket. "No prob."

* * *

Downtown Disney, as it turned out, wasn't  _ quite _ as bad as Seth had been supposing. As the sun began to set and Seth drove Dean, Sasha and Bayley down the highway toward the Resort area, he rolled the windows down to catch some of the breezy air that was coming off the little lakes. Signs for the parks were everywhere, and all of the buildings and hotels looked pristine and brightly colored, twinkling in the emerging light from street lamps and the fireworks crackling from areas of the enclosed park.

"EPCOT is over there, right?" Bayley asked Sasha from the backseat, pointing out the window as they came onto the main road the broke up into various spots for east and west parking. Seth drummed his fingers, looking rather unfazed by the iconic mouse ears seemingly fixed to anything that was bolted down. Sasha nodded and Dean smacked his gum, looking at the families coming in off of buses and shuttles.

Once they parked in a lot and the Dean agreed to pay the fee for the evening, the group stumbled out onto the sidewalk in the direction of the arrows pointed at Downtown Disney/Disney Springs. The night was relaxing and inviting and for a few moments, Seth squeezed Dean's hand, trying to gauge his boyfriend's mood.

"Me and Uce came here like one time," he said, looking around carefully and assessing the palms and little lake. "Years ago I think. Hunter did a thing where we all went to one of these restaurants once too, I don't think I went that time though."

"How much is it to even get into Disney World?" Seth asked, looking to Sasha and Bayley as he'd recalled they'd visited the park together. "Like, eighty bucks?"

"It was like 115 when we went," Sasha said, nodding at Seth's borderline horrified expression. He couldn't really imagine shelling out for such an experience, but he'd never been a huge theme park person as a kid, and obviously didn't have any kids of his own to bring. As they walked down the path and onto a very pristine brick sidewalk, the more obvious touches of Disney fair seemed to recede and Seth had the distinct impression he was walking through an upscale galleria and dining area. There were a few families around, but mostly it was couples and groups of young adults who looked more interested in getting a bite to eat and a drink than riding any roller coasters.

"You hungry?" Dean asked, patting his chest and looking to Seth and the girls. "Savin' kids all day really got to my appetite."

"I could eat," Seth smirked, looking to the first few establishments lining the path. Everything looked eerily perfect. The vibe, the tone of it all. There wasn't a speck of litter or trash lining the walkway and Seth could see workers in pressed uniforms smiling and walking around to ensure everything was in proper order. A candy chocolatier shop to the left was marked with swooping perfect type cascading down the bright brick building. The cigar shop to the right was open with a door greeter in some sort of old timey outfit, prepared the explain the store's wares. Ahead, a map was erected in the middle of the walkway and Dean stopped by it, examining the diagram. 

"We wanna go that way," he said, pointing off to the left. "When's this thing start though?" 

"I think it's starting right now," Sasha said, checking her phone. "The House of Blues is a restaurant too though, so if you guys were hungry-"

Seth watched Dean's finger trail down to a specific circling of what looked to be tiny squares lining the lake, his face lighting up. Seth laughed reading the print.

"International food trucks?" he nodded. "Okay, I'm sold. Assuming a taco doesn't cost me fifty dollars."

"Those are pretty good," Bayley agreed, nodding her head. "They had a couple of them in the park too, remember Sash?" 

Everything was a little too perfect to be entirely trustworthy, but Seth couldn't complain as they walked a little further and found themselves enshrined in a ring of wonderful smells. Seth knew his boyfriend loved quick, handheld foods, and he chuckled as Dean skipped over with his eyes bulging, holding a giant corndog. Rather than arriving strictly on time and trying to balance their collective smorgasbord of food, the group plopped down at a picnic bench overlooking the water. Seth's pork belly street tacos were overflowing so much so that he could barely get a hold on one in his hand. Nobody really said much while they were eating, more concerned with food and grabbing some beers from one of the trucks. The lake before them looked cold and grey, and Seth actually shivered a little from the breeze. He was only wearing a T-shirt and cargo shorts, thinking it would be muggy and hot wherever they went. 

"You girls gunna do anythin' fun while we're gone?" Dean asked, watching Sasha and Bayley squabble over the last remaining large fries they were sharing. Seth watched as both of them looked a little hesitant and blushy, shrugging.

"We thought about doing a little cookout," Sasha said, swallowing and holding a hand to her mouth for a moment. "We don't really have the ability to do that at my place."

"You guys can always take Kevin to the dog park," Seth said, nodding "Or on little adventures places. He gets tired kinda quick, but I dunno… somethin' to do."

"Yeah, and there was that yoga thing too," Bayley said, remembering. "I dunno. We didn't want to do anything too big… just relax."

It was a little awkward, considering Seth and Dean knew a better extent of the couple's relationship than they maybe wanted to admit, but they just sipped from their drinks and watched the water and the people walking by for a moment. The House of Blues was back down the path they'd walked, next to some Cuban themed cafe. In the distance, Seth thought he could hear music, but he was equally sure it could be from some parade in Disney World, echoing over the water. Again, he was reminded that he was off work for a week and home free in a sense. The food and the beer made him feel warm and fuzzy, and the slight pain in his knee seemed to ebb as he finished his cup and made to toss the trash in the garbage. 

"What was the last live music show you went to?" Seth asked, watching Dean slip his phone back in his pocket and re-adjust the hem of his pants. They began walking close together, not quite as intimate as Bayley and Sasha were, holding each other's hands, but perhaps more closely than friends.

"Uhh… fuhh…" Dean thought. "I dunno. On purpose? I don't remember. I feel like if I'm out I'll just wander into bars when music's playing, but I don't really look for shows."

"You like a lot of older music too," Seth remarked, clearly remembering all the times Dean had put on the classic rock station when he'd had his own vehicle. There were still plenty of times when Seth turned on the Cadillac and heard Tom Petty or Bob Dylan louder than he might have otherwise found it. 

"Mmyah," Dean said, "Old stuff is the good stuff."

He wondered if Roman might have been excited to come if he hadn't had other responsibilities to take care of. They all had such varied tastes, it was hard to accommodate them all comfortably within even a single evening of listening to Spotify while they ate or did the dishes. Since Seth had moved in with the two other men, his recommended music station had been completely disorganized. Instead of automatically playing Senses Fail or Parkway Drive, he often found his nose wrinkling as Drake or some other rap/pop artist played because of Roman's meddling. 

"Oh, here it is, up here," Bayley pointed to a long, large wooden structure with HOUSE OF BLUES illuminated on the front face of the building. Seth could see it was very decoratively detailed, painted with vaguely tribal patterns and striking colors. Inside, music could be heard and people were mingling outside talking and looking at their phones. Sami wasn't among any of them, but Seth guessed he would be inside, probably front and center to see Chris's band perform.

"We payin to get in?" Dean asked, looking to Seth and the girls. Seth hesitated, but Sasha shook her head. 

"No, it's free. It said so on the page," She said, "I think we're encouraged to buy merch or something." 

Entering the place wasn't difficult, though it was a little crowded and loud. Immediately Seth was overwhelmed by everything around him, but he had to admit it was worth seeing. Almost every surface in the place was painted with it's own intricate patterns and colors. No spot was left untouched and Seth felt as though he was entering a giant work of art, slightly uncomfortable with staying in any one spot for too long. The restaurant area was full of people ordering food and chatting happily, occasionally poking their heads up to see the venue space. Seth, Dean, Sasha and Bayley all began to walk along the wall, following the source of the music. When he entered the concert area and passed by a few people hugging the wall and staring at the stage, Seth gave a soft  _ oh _ , actually impressed. 

Purple lights illuminated a large stage and a crowd of people were standing and mingling by the speakers, painted in striking mardi gras colors. Craning his neck up, Seth could see a second floor overlooking the stage with rows of people drinking and watching the crew quickly prepare a set while interim music played over large speakers. 

"Hey!"

Seth grinned and Dean hummed as Sami's face popped up from the second floor and waved brightly. At his side, Kevin was there, looking strange in just a t-shirt and jeans. Sasha and Bayley edged past the men to get out of the doorway just as Sami nearly tripped, jogging down the far side stairs to come meet them. 

"What's up man?" Seth asked brightly, accepting a hug from his friend that he wasn't really expecting. Sami looked a little pink, but he didn't seem like he was really drunk, just exuberant. 

"You guys made it! That's awesome!" he said loudly, steering the group towards the stairs and inviting them to come up. "You guys hungry or anything? The first band played, there's going to be a couple before Chris comes on with Fozzy." 

"Oh, nah, we got a bite," Seth explained, walking up the stairs and making sure his friends were following alright. "Anybody… else here?"

"Just me and Kevin right now. I had mentioned it to Dolph and Randy but I don't think they'll come," Sami said, pointing over to where Kevin was standing. There were a few barely illuminated high top tables surrounding the space and it appeared the two men had ordered a pitcher of beer. "You guys want a drink? I was thinking of ordering some shots!"

"Nah," Seth said, just as everyone else said "Yes!" excitedly. Seth narrowed his brow, turning to Dean who just grinned, patting Seth on the arm. 

"Don't worry babe, I'll drink yours," he said cheekily, drawing out his wallet. "How much you want Sami?"

Everyone except Seth ordered some Tequila shooters, but he wasn't particularly upset when he saw the bill they had to pay. Seth smirked, teasing the group as he decided to pour himself a final beer for the evening, killing the pitcher. If he'd arrived at the place and found himself in some sort of sing-a-long Disney death trap, he might have been more inclined to leave quickly, but the place was actually really cool. While it was a little awkward trying to hold a conversation with Kevin, who had more or less functioned as his boss while he was working custodial, alcohol made the whole process a lot easier. The two groups merged, pushing together the little circle tables, and gathering chairs just as the next act took the stage.

"I dunno about this guy, he's the only one I haven't seen before," Sami explained, pointing to the next act and holding up his shooter. Everyone clinked their shots together in cheers and Seth raised his beer glass, watching Dean easily swallow back the clear liquid and kiss his teeth loudly. The crowd clapped and a man with long hair and a beard adjusted the microphone for his height. An acoustic guitar was strapped to his front. 

"He kinda looks like you," Sasha joked, nodding to Seth. Seth squinted, he guessed he could  _ sort _ of see it. 

"Hello, I am _Elias_ ," the man said, giving his guitar a preliminary strum. The crowd cheered appropriately, letting off some soft woo's and claps. "I just want to know first, before I begin, how are we all doing tonight?"

Seth, Sami, and everyone in the group gave a mildly enthusiastic _Yay_ , joining in with the pitch of the audience that was growing slowly as Elias began to strum at his guitar, playing a very bluesy couple of chords and tapping his feet. It was nice, and the happy tingle of hearing nicely played live music went down Seth's spine. A few people on the first floor started clapping in time.

"It's  _ okay _ ," Sami said, shrugging. "Fozzy's a lot more… upbeat I guess."

"Gotta have blues at the blues club though," Kevin mumbled, shifting his shot glass back to the middle of the table. "I think Chris was down by the merch still, I'm gunna go say hi to him before he gets busy."

"Make fun of him is more like it," Sami teased, Kevin just waved in a sort of 'whatever' gesture and made his way down the stairs. 

Elias ended up playing a couple covers and a few original songs, all of which Seth thought were well played. More and more people were still coming in and Sami ordered another pitcher of beer on top of the shots they'd ordered. Seth was caught between wanting to listen and contribute to his friend's boisterous conversation, while simultaneously wishing he could just zone out and listen to the music. He hadn't been to a show in awhile, and he felt a little guilty being part of a table that was obviously not paying much attention to the person sitting below them, playing their heart out. Dean drank, but mostly just nodded along to Sami's conversation while Sasha and Bayley eagerly chatted about work and people at White Water that were particularly annoying. For the most part, Seth didn't really want to gossip much about why Paige wasn't working anymore or why Neville had apparently no-called no-showed on his shifts. He sort of wanted to get away or drink another beer, but he knew he had to drive so he didn't want to risk it. 

"-Really no big deal though, everything's always sorted out after the fundraiser for the most part. Even if we don't have ever shift accounted for, Shawn'll sometimes help out or Hunter gets creative." Sami sighed loudly, looking more and more rosy and excited. "I just hate dealing with the people trying to sneak their friends into the park, that's always the worst part! Can you believe that though? It's not even teenagers always! Two years ago it was this guy trying to sneak his whole friend's family over the fucking gate. Who even does that with small kids?"

"I think I remember that," Sasha sighed, rolling her eyes. "People bringing in beach balls though."

"BEACH BALLS ARE THE WORST!" Sami laughed, tossing back his head. "Fuck, do you know how many of those we confiscate?"

"I think I'm gunna go grab a water, anyone else need somethin?" Seth asked, getting up from his chair and looking to the group. Dean leaned over and put his chin on Seth's shoulder, looking expectant and hopeful. 

"Can I…. get uh…." he looked to Seth with whatever his own equivalent of puppy dog eyes was. "A whisky sour?"

"You're just mixin' all the drinks tonight," Seth snorted, blushing a little at Dean's obvious touch. Dean bit his lip, pleading. "Well how much are they?" 

Dean just handed him a twenty from his pocket and Seth took it without question. Dean made a kissy noise and Seth just shook his head. Dean didn't need his permission to do anything, but he knew he was sort of asking  _ hey, do you mind? Is this gunna be an issue?  _

Seth really didn't care, at least not at the moment. If Dean was going to be surly the next morning while they were leaving town, that would be annoying, but Dean usually bounced back fastest of the three anyway. Making his way down the stairs toward the bar, Seth could hear Elias wrapping up his set and the audience applauding kindly. 

_ "Get ready for the Riot Squad you guys, and make sure you stop by my table…."  _

"Excuse me," Seth muttered, making his way through the packed hallway and sort of wishing he was Roman sized so he could just power through the crowd. The beers were kind of wearing off now, and he was getting tired of being around so many loud people. The bar was stacked with bodies, all leaning in, trying to get the attention of a bartender that might see they needed a drink. Seth sighed, making his way to the edge where he thought he might get served if he pushed his hat back so they could see his face in the dim light.

"Oh, this is my station-" A woman said, smiling widely and pushing past him. Seth nodded, realizing he was in the way of the servers and doubled around, trying to see if there was anywhere he could scoot in. On one end, there was a group of huge, sort of bodybuilder looking guys that looked like they might get in his face if he stood behind them. Seth bit his lip and sat behind a group of ladies that were inherently less threatening. They were all talking loudly though and Seth put his hands in his pockets, trying to crane in and at least make it obvious that he was just there for a drink. 

"Hey-" Seth said, slightly loud, trying to catch the attention of one of the tall, dark skinned servers rushing past. However, he wasn't listening, but instead was concerned with slicing a lemon inhumanly fast and spreading the fruit over several long island cocktails. Seth sighed hard, growing impatient. 

"No, but this is fucked right? This is so wrong that he's doing this!" One of the girls in front of him said loudly, gesturing to her chest with one hand and holding her phone with the other. Her two friends looked hesitant, but assuring, staring at their friend very seriously. "We'd talked right around Valentine's Day about being a thing, like, it was _super_ clear and I knew that he understood it when I was talking to him."

"But, Bianca, you can't just like-" The girl next to her said, " _Look_ , I know what happened last time, and it does sound like he's being a piece of shit, but you can't just look through his phone-"

Seth blinked, fidgeting awkwardly on the spot as the girl named Bianca looked almost flabbergasted by what her friend is saying. He didn't want to watch, but all he could do was hope that one of the servers realized he needed assistance so he could hurry up and get away from these strangers. 

"Oh, so you're just gunna make it about that?" She scoffed, turning red. "You know what happened to me last time? You know I'm trying to start over and I'm trying to do good and it's like all I can do is attract these assholes that waste my fucking time! What would I have done if I didn't check it? Just let him make me look stupid?"

"That's not what I'm saying, not at all," the girls friend chimed in, setting down her drink and looking sorry. "Girl, I think that he's shit-"

"I think you dodged a fuckin' bullet," the other girl said, laughing. "Now you can Gone Girl his ass."

"Shayna, don't be a sociopath about this," the girl said, rolling her eyes at how unhelpful her other friend was being. Seth watched as the girl called Bianca laughed hard in spite of herself. "It's good that you know, but it's just like, it hurts me to see that you're doing this. You talk to him beforehand about it at all? Is he gunna admit to this or is he just gunna turn it back on you for snooping in his shit?"

"Like fuck I know! I don't care!" Bianca said angrily. "He wanna treat me like that, I'll walk out just like I did last time! I didn't talk to him because I didn't know what he would say, but now I'm definitely glad. I don't wanna deal with him getting mad at me and I don't wanna deal with him becoming some huge crybaby trying to win me back or some shit." Bianca looked up and caught Seth looking down at her, she pulled her braid aside and stared back angrily. "Can I _help_ you?"

"I'm just… getting a drink," Seth said, blushing and looking away. Bianca's friend moved over and gave him space by the bar, front and center. Seth didn't look, but he could still hear them, talking in lowered voices.

"Go home and talk to him about it, you don't need to try to salvage it, but think about it. What if he goes and just does that to some other girl? You should at least let him know that you're hurt and end it properly…"

"Ember, it's not her responsibility to get _ him _ to act right," Shayna said angrily, moving in. "If you don't want to get mad vindictive with his shit, fine, but you can just block him on everything and move on. Better yet, we can find you some honey tonight. Refocus yourself."

"Shayna, this is why you're single," Ember moaned. Seth drummed his fingers on the bar, really just wishing he could get out of the situation. Luckily, one of the larger male servers with big arms came up and caught his eye, nodding. 

"Whiskey sour and a water," Seth said loudly, handing off Dean's 20. In no time at all, a five was pressed back into his hands with the two drinks and Seth tried his best to get away, but the crowd was large and most people weren't paying enough attention to let him through easily. 

"There are good guys out there," Seth could hear Ember saying. "Guys that won't cheat and guys that are worth your time, but you gotta make sure this doesn't fuck you up, okay? You can't get into people's business and get all paranoid, whether it's true or not."

"If you think you gotta snoop, the relationships already shit." Shayna laughed loudly, "Fuck his ass girl, let's get margaritas."

Seth gritted his teeth, made incredibly uncomfortable about what he'd heard as he slowly shuffled back to where the concert was occurring. Despite all the strides he'd made since he had broken up with Marek, he sometimes felt astonished by how much Dean and Roman didn't seem to be fearful of the concept of him screwing around behind their backs. Seth never would do such a thing of course, having learned his lesson entirely. Since the breakup, he'd rejected the notion that people who cheated were fundamentally dishonest. 

But then, Seth _had_ been snooping, checking his boyfriend's phones, and, if he was telling the truth, he really didn't think it was that big of a deal. He had no reason to believe that Dean or Roman were cheating on him, but there were still things that came up that Seth wished he could anticipate more and doing a little... well…  _ reconnaissance _ wasn't so bad, was it? No one man in their trio was really spectacular at talking and sometimes talking just… well… it sort of forced them to say things in ways they couldn't articulate without sounding like assholes. 

Seth made his way back to the main concert area where an all girl group had taken the stage and was playing a very loud and excited set. The lights were bright gold and red, and the audience had tripled in size, all bouncing on their feet and thrashing around to the music. Not wanting to spill his drinks, Seth kept to the wall, looking around for any sign of his friends. The table upstairs they'd been sitting at to look out upon the show was filled with other people. 

_ I only looked at my boyfriend's phones so he could better understand them and anticipate issues _ , Seth told himself. Even he knew it was sort of a lie, remembering that he'd chickened out of looking at Roman's messages and had really only seen Dean's photo library. The truth, whether or not he really wanted to think of it, was that it was really interesting and _exciting_ to see what was on those devices he wasn't supposed to see. Seth drank from his water and looked around, quickly, he spotted Sasha's shock of purple hair. She was dancing next to Bayley, but Seth couldn't see Dean next to her so he stayed put. He wanted to find his boyfriend and pass off the drink.

_ I'm not going to look at their phones again _ , Seth decided, swallowing hard as he remembered the one girl at the bar saying  _ If you think you gotta snoop, the relationships already shit _ . He didn't really believe those words, but he knew it certainly wasn't normal for a couple to be looking at each other phones. If Sasha or Cesaro had admitted to such a thing, Seth probably would have been a little confused or worried. But then, he wasn't in a couple, he wasn't practicing monogamy anyway, the rules weren't all the same,  _ right _ ?

"Whiskey whiskey whiskey," Dean chanted, coming up from behind Seth and grinning madly. He was all sweaty and if Seth had to guess, he had to have been dancing for some time. Seth grinned, happy to see his boyfriend again. Unable to really give him the kiss he wanted, Seth held out his fist, waiting for a bump. 

"Havin' fun?" Seth asked. "The bar was a nightmare."

"Yeah, yeah," Dean said, drinking a large swallow of his drink and moving so another man could pass them. "I thought I lost my wallet twice tho' cause I'm fucking just dancin' it out. Here-" Dean said, handing Seth back his drink so he could dig in his pockets. "You're not goin' out there are you? Can you hold my shit quick?"

"Uh, I guess," Seth said, cradling the drink in his arms so Dean could pass him his keys, phone and wallet out of his shallow pockets. He didn't really mind, it wasn't that big a deal.

"Thank you thank you," Dean said, taking his drink back. "By the time that other band gets on I'll prolly be good to go."

"Sounds good, it's fine," Seth said, smiling sweetly with Dean's things in his hands. "Go have fun, we're on vacation now."

"Yeah yeah," Dean said, keeping up with the repetition and making two kissy noises as he disappeared into the crowd again. Seth drank from his water, looking out and watching his boyfriend run up to Sasha and Bayley, spooking them with his rowdy behavior. Seth laughed, licking his lips and slowly looking down at the items in his hand. The cracked phone screen lit up against the purple light and Seth could just barely see Renee's contact info glowing around a new text message. 

**Ur a horrible dancer, hope ur having fun though! Stop talking to me! Go harass your…**

Seth took another drink, swallowing hard. Dean and Roman seemed to trust him a lot. The thought warmed him from his head to his toes, making his whole body feel light. After all that he'd been through and done, he wanted to feel like he deserved it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Elias and some of the NXT ladies everybody! 
> 
> Now, I mentioned it earlier, but I've started a new job and I'm working on publishing my first book. Everything's going awesome, but I'm kind of strapped for time! It took me a bit to get these parts finished and I took some time today to make sure they look okay. I'm actually operating without a beta for the time being as well, so if some parts are a little garbled and weird, sorry about that D: 
> 
> The next parts will focused on the boys vacation in the Florida Keys and what I've decided to do is post them in a large update, sort of similar to what I did with the Christmas chapters in Part 1. I want them to be good and cohesive and I already know what I want to write, but I need them to all gel together properly, so I'm not going to be posting all of them next week, but in either 2 or 3 weeks from now, depending on what I'm able to finish. We're talking about a 3-4 chapter update all at once, so I promise it'll be worth the wait. It seems like most people reading this prefer to read 3-4 chapters at a time anyway, so this will give you time to re-read what's already there if you'd like. As of right now, it's going to be: 
> 
> 1 large update with the bulk of the vacation  
> 1 multi chapter update with bonus chapters from Deans and Roman's perspective.   
> 1 large update with what happens after the vacation that will require a binge read fest. This will make more sense in the future. 
> 
> So, I'm sorry for not being able to provide weekly content, but I think you're all going to really dig what's up next. Like I've said before, the houseboat vacation and the events immediately following it create the backbone of the drama/story for this part. Not only is it going to be fun to read, but I'm going to really enjoy writing it, so don't worry! Updates will be on their way.
> 
> Please please please, review, donate, kudos or whatever to show that you like this fic. I highly advise bookmarking/flagging as well if you want to get a notification for when the next bulk update happens. It'll be on a Monday, I just don't know which one yet. 
> 
> Thanks a lot! Hope you dug this two part chunk. I went to a live event this last weekend and some photos are on my blog if you want to see. Check it out <3


	15. Shield Key [Part: 1]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 1 of 5

Seth was already sort of awake when his alarm went off the next morning on his phone, sounding off from the end table in the living room next to the pull out couch. He shifted on his stomach, moving over and grinning hard as he silenced the device. It was time to go. 

The concert last night had been a good outing, and Seth agreed to stay until Chris's band played a few songs, but once he was fully sober and rather tired of being bumped on both sides by rowdy drunks, he rallied everyone to leave. Once they arrived at the house again, Sasha drank a large cup of water and sat on the couch with Bayley while Roman shifted around the house, packing up the last of his belongings.

"Got 88% on my last quiz," he sighed, tossing his toiletries into a pocket of his luggage piece. "Good enough for me, I'm beat."

"I'll come by tomorrow around noon and take Kev for a walk," Sasha yawned, rising with her empty water glass and pulling Seth into a hug. "Tonight was super fun! Thanks a bunch."

"No prob, we should be thanking you guys," Seth said cheerily, nodding to Bayley, but then obliging to hug her as she looked enthusiastic. 

Dean hadn't been terribly intoxicated, but he still plopped off to bed rather quickly while Seth and Roman stayed up, making sure the last of their things were in order. Slightly manic from finishing the last of his school work and excited to leave, Roman sat up with him for a few hours, cuddling and watching TV on the couch until Seth caught him snoring and he stalked off to the guest room. 

Being awake so early, it didn't really feel real yet, and Seth slipped into each of the bedrooms to rouse his lover's fully before he brushed his teeth one last time for the road. Roman put on a pot of coffee, mostly for Seth's benefit, and Dean took Kevin outside and said goodbye to the chickens.

"Bye buddy," Seth said, picking his dog up for one last hug. "Don't rip anything up please." 

"We got everything?" Dean asked, surveying the house, which finally looked a little scant and less messy. Roman had packed his speakers from the kitchen, and almost half the shoes that had been sitting by the door where now stowed in the Jeep. On the table, Roman had written Sasha one last note with all of their phone numbers, his parent's numbers, the location of the spare key rock in the garden in great detail, and finally, the number for Banfield pet hospital. 

"Mm good," Roman grunted, yawning wide and grabbing his backpack by the door. Seth and Dean followed him out and he locked the door for a final time. 

Sipping on a thermos full of coffee, Seth was really the only lively one of the bunch until the sun rose. It wasn't so bad, and Roman easily slept through the soft early morning radio play that Seth used as background noise to keep himself alert. He hadn't been up so early since he'd been opening the pool, but this time he was actually excited to be awake, largely alone on the open highway. Seth passed by the resort exit that they'd used the night before, making his way past the airport just as Dean was beginning to fall into a lull himself, blonde hair cascading down a travel pillow, wedged between himself and the seat. 

Seth drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, taking deep breaths and examining the sparse scenery surrounding the highway. For awhile, his thoughts returned to the idealized vacation in his mind, visiting a place that he'd thought about mostly at work or when he was stressed out. Really, Seth didn't know what to expect, but even if the boat wasn't picture perfect, he knew he would enjoy himself. The more he thought about it, the more he was sure Dean's own idea of the vacation was the best option. Lounging around, perhaps nursing a sunburn with a beer in hand, floating around on the open ocean. 

By Kissimmee, Seth took a coffee induced bathroom break at a gas station and took his turn to fuel up the gas tank. The sun was just beginning to rise and he picked up a large bag of Pumpkin seeds to snack on for the duration of the ride. As soon as he cracked open the bag and set it inside the center console, Dean conveniently woke up and stuck a few in his mouth.

"Mornin'," Seth teased, shutting the door. "Did you want a drink or anything while we're here?"

"Mmm," Dean mumbled, which Seth took as an  _ I'm alright, thanks for asking though _ .

The ride was about the same as their strange trip to White Party in November, passing by tree farms and going through tolls. Seth glanced up at Roman's Sunpass and hoped he had remembered to top it off before their trip. As the sun rose higher, Seth grabbed his sunglasses from his pant's pocket and Dean sat up a little straighter, stealing seeds and blinking against the extra light. 

"If you're getting hungry we could probably stop for some real food," Seth offered, turning the radio down a little and coasting into the passing lane. Dean just shrugged, looking into the backseat. Roman was completely sprawled across all three seats, covered with a loose blanket and snoring, long rumbling snores. 

"I'll wait for him to wake up," Dean said, sitting upright in his seat again. "Should be fine."

"I'm feeling Waffle House or somethin'" Seth said, adjusting his seatbelt and looking at the time. "We got a sec to sit if we're shooting for two o'clock."

Dean didn't look terribly interested, but rather, stared out the window at a billboard advertising inflatable rentals for speedboats. The photo showed a few kids, happily screaming on some kind of inner tube being towed behind a watercraft and Seth licked his lips, thinking.

"You never did family vacations when you were a kid, did you?" Seth asked, wondering. He often avoided asking Dean about his past, solely because he was never sure what he was going to hear. Dean looked thoughtful for a moment, racking his brain.

"Maybe like, once when my parents were on good terms or something," Dean said, "I woulda been real young, but I remember that we went to a waterpark hotel place. Sorta for my birthday and Christmas at the same time. It was all four of us, and I think my grandma kinda came and watched us play during the day too."

"That's cool," Seth said, glad that Dean had something to mention. "In Ohio?"

"Probably, I dunno," Dean snorted. "It probably wasn't even that cool, just like a couple water slides indoors, not a big deal. But we were kids so we thought it was the coolest."

"That's always the best," Seth smiled. "When you're a kid and you don't know something sucks."

"Yeah, totally." Dean grinned back. "But then, it doesn't suck, you know? You just enjoy it because it means what you want it to mean. I remember-" Dean said, his smile crackling as though he knew what he was about to say was objectively sad. "I thought it was so cool, that we had fresh towels and soaps and stuff… in the hotel room."

"Did you mostly grow up with your grandma?" Seth asked, feeling more bold. Dean didn't look too troubled, and judging by the look on his face, Seth would have thought Dean really wanted to share. The Jeep thudded a little on some more uneven road, but came back to coast as the pavement evened out. 

"Uhh, kinda, we really went back and forth a lot," Dean said, grabbing a handful of seeds and toying with them in his palm. "It depended on a lot of stuff, like if my dad was in jail or had a job or not and if my mom was fucked up. Early on, it was really night and day and then when I was like, maybe eight or nine, my dad went to prison for about eight years and so they basically split up. For a minute she was trying really hard to do it all herself, but it was really stressful and she drank a lot, so our grandma would keep us for a few weeks a time."

"Damn," Seth said, exhaling softly and becoming more and more intrigued. "How did you deal with all that? Did you even realize it was happening?"

"Yeah, mostly," Dean shrugged, becoming a little quieter. "We didn't really know what normal was or anything, and we basically were just trying to make sure we stayed out of trouble. Grandma helped make sure we were fed though, plus we were probably on some welfare thing. I didn't really like going to school and stuff, but when I was there I had people watching me and all. It would just sorta be off and on and we wouldn't know what to expect," Dean swallowed, taking a moment to draw a line in the air with his finger. "Sometimes my mom would be really good and for a few months she'd work and we would have meals and stuff, or at least have something made so even if she wasn't home when we were there, we wouldn' have to call grandma. There was even a few times where she had cool boyfriends too, like ones that bought us stuff and took us to movies and stuff like that. One guy had his own son… this kid named Sami Callihan." Seth looked as Dean smiled wide, obviously enjoying a memory. "But then there'd be other times where she'd just fall into drinking again or she'd get fired, or both, and like she never really hit us or anything… but she just kinda pretended like she wasn't a mom and didn't come home for days. Bad boyfriends. Stuff… like that…"

"That's fucked," Seth said, scarcely able to imagine how he would handle such a situation at such a young age. "I… I bet you and your sister were really close though, yeah?"

"When we were younger, yeah," Dean said, scratching his nose. "Shit like that makes you hard to kill. I mean, I've lived through it."

"Yeah," Seth agreed, clearing his throat. Something about driving made it easier to talk about these things. He still tried to look at Dean and be mindful of how he was feeling, but Seth obviously had to keep his eyes on the road and focus on where he was going as well. A sign ahead marked that West Palm Beach was forty miles away and Seth kept in the correct lane, driving on.

"You have a stepdad though," Dean said, popping a seed into his mouth. "What all happened with your real dad?"

"I dunno," Seth actually laughed. It was impossible to compare his situation to Dean's. "From what I've been told, he just knocked my mom up and left. He's probably just off living his life somewhere."

"Maybe we have the same dad," Dean grinned. 

"Maybe," Seth chuckled, "Except you're not Armenian and you don't have a big nose." 

It didn't occur to Seth that his life was fascinating in any regard, especially compared to Dean's, but by the way his boyfriend asked questions, Seth found himself talking at length about his own life. He prattled on about swim team and his high school years for almost an hour as his boyfriend laughed and listened. On the breaks in the road where there weren't cars boxing him in against the median, Seth was able to steal longer glances at his boyfriend's face and felt a little flicker of happiness. Anytime Dean was  _ really _ listening, he stopped twitching and leaned forward slightly, squinting his eyes in thought or comprehension. It was the sort of thing that Seth remembered adoring very early on in their relationship as they slowly began to open up, discussing the things that were more than surface level.

"You're stealing all my seeds," Seth remarked, as Dean accidentally dropped a few between the console and the seat. 

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Dean grunted, looking back up at Seth as he ate a few more. "But like, you never really had a girlfriend before you started dating Marek?"

"Not… really…" Seth said, shrugging. "Girls liked me, and I definitely made out with a few, but like, I didn't get it, you know what I mean? For awhile I thought I was only into goth chicks and girls that were on swim team and stuff, like jocks. But even then, I just felt like I was doing it because they wanted to, and it was never what… I expected it to be, if you will."

"I don't know," Dean said, sighing fondly. "Titties are…  _ amazing _ ."

"Well, anyways," Seth snorted. "It wasn't even that big of a deal to be gay where I was, like there was obviously those people that called me a fag and stuff, but I didn't know how to be gay so I just thought I could only like jerk off. When I was like, early high school, I was convinced I couldn't have sex because I couldn't really jerk off to chicks. I was always looking at the dude in porn. And then-" Seth sighed, blushing hard. "I was just underwear shoppin' with the family at Target one day and I was staring at the dick bulges on the Fruit of the Loom guys and it all sort of made sense."

"Yeah!" Dean laughed, pointing hard and making Roman stir. "I remember starin' at the underwear too!"

"Where we at?" Roman croaked, sitting up. Seth looked at his bewildered face in the rearview mirror, smiling wide. 

"Nice of you to join us," Seth teased. "We're uh… We're comin' up on Boca Raton…."

Roman rose to full alertness, but they didn't stop for a meal until around Fort Lauderdale when Seth spotted a Waffle House from the highway. The place was very busy and the three men didn't look too out of place as the restaurant was swimming with spring breakers. Young, tan guys and girls were the only patrons in sight, and Seth was a little glad they managed a table, as the diner counter was a crowded mess of people laughing and talking boisterously. Although they were rather cowed by all the noise, Seth and Dean couldn't help noticing at least two groups of women pointing and giggling at Roman's back. 

"It's only going to get worse when we get down there," Roman sighed, blushing a little as Seth drew his eyes down to his menu out of respective for his boyfriend. "I know a couple spots down there that don't get as much traffic though."

"We could pimp you out," Dean suggested, tilting his head to the side as a woman smiled in a sort of flirting manner as she passed by the table. "Buy our own jet skies with the money."

Seth ordered a ham and cheese omelet, but split a waffle with Roman for the sake of getting something sweet. At the end of the meal, as they each stood in line to pay for their orders, Seth's phone buzzed and he smiled, seeing a nice text from his mother, seeing him off.

**Have a great time on your trip! Be safe! Love you -mom**

Seth sent her some heart emojis, sure that she would get the point. He was sort of toying with the idea of turning his phone off for a few days and unplugging a little, but he was also sure that he'd want to get texts from Sasha about his dog if she bothered to send any. 

Sure enough, his phone buzzed as they were barreling down the wide Miami highway and he glanced at it quickly, smirking at a picture of Kevin wandering around outside with the chickens in the sunshine. He tucked his phone back in the console, sure that texting could wait until he hit a red light somewhere. Roman had offered to drive after they left Waffle House, but Seth preferred the command seat over the back. Dean toyed with the radio every now and then, and Roman was mostly using his phone, heavily reclined against all of their belongings in the hatchback. Still handling the drive on a basis of following for signs heading South, Seth kept on Highway 1, threading through the deco buildings painted like a little soft-pastel paradise. 

"Gettin' swampy back here," Roman muttered, wiping his palms on his pants and stretching out a little. Seth instinctively turned the AC up and made sure the fans were going to the backseat. "Gunna hop right in the ocean after we get settled."

"That does sound nice," Seth said, imagining the cool blue water and the sun setting in the distance. They were still making their way through the suburbs, but Seth could already imagine the road thinning down as the towns became more concentrated around the shoreline. Dean kept on munching pumpkin seeds, probably fidgety from a lack of nicotine.

"We might actually want to stop in Florida City for supplies," Roman suggested, speaking a little louder so Seth could hear him properly. "I thought there might be a big store in Largo or something, but the last Walmart on the way is there. Oh, and I guess there's a liquor store across the street… yessir…"

"If we don't drink Margaritas for a week straight and listen to Jimmy Buffet, then we're fuck ups," Dean proclaimed, giving his knee a healthy slap. Seth laughed, motioning to the back seat. 

"Put the address in maps and I'll drive to it," Seth said, twirling his fingers. Without hesitation, Roman handed his phone over and Seth propped in on the dash. Within a few minutes, he received a text from Summer that came up on the screen as a notification. Seth blinked, looking to the road and at the device in time to read.

**No shes consumed with the kids camping trip and Mandy so its not really…**

Without any context, it didn't make a lot of sense. Seth didn't say anything and Dean apparently hadn't noticed, picking at his fingernails. 

They had to be quick, running around what was probably one of the most southernmost Walmart's in the continental US. The road leading down to the Keys was small and busier than they might have liked for their pickup time of 2 PM. But Roman assured them it would be alright for him to call and explain their situation should they be late. Seth was getting tired of being on the road all day and feeling his knee crunched up behind the gas and brake pedals. Walking around the air conditioned store felt good, but they moved briskly, too excited about getting to their destination to really think.

Roman and Dean loaded the cart with salty snacks and Seth sighed a little, thinking he ought to start hitting the gym again as soon as he got back. Walking down the aisles and controlling the cart as Roman grabbed cookies and drink mixer, Seth paused at the selection of nuts and trail mix, wondering if there was anything remotely healthy he could entertain. 

"I'll put the case of beer on my lap if I gotta," Roman snickered, surveying the aisle as Seth grabbed a small box of La Croix cans. "Fuck, we should get some sea bands."

"Sea bands?" Seth asked, wondering if this was some sort of drink, like Seagrams. Passing by the sporting goods section a few aisles down, his boyfriend grabbed some strange looking wrist wraps in a small white box.

"Just in case you get a little motion sick from the boat. It's usually not that bad, but sometimes it can mess with people," Roman explained, handing Seth the box to inspect. Apparently, it was some sort of acupressure device. "I'm usually fine, but my sister's needed them anytime we'd get on a boat."

"Huh," Seth said, handing the box to Dean, who just tossed the container in the cart with everything else. "What's left?"

Ice was apparently something that the rental place sold in bags, and a lot of the everyday use things, were supposed to be stocked in the boat already. But Roman obliged to pick up a few single rolls of toilet paper before they made their way to check out.

"You never know," he said wisely. Dean grinned and the men loaded the conveyor belt with their own items to purchase. At the little liquor store across the parking lot, Roman got a rack of Miller Lite and a handle of Tequila to go with Dean's margarita mix. Seth tried to be quick, walking up and down the sweaty shop, undecided. From the corner of the store, he could hear his boyfriend's laughing and he turned his head up from the selection of cheap wines. 

"There's a sale on Four Lokos!" Dean said, holding up a shimmering, garish can of the drink. Seth wrinkled his nose, slightly disgusted.

"I'm trying to  _ remember _ this week," he scoffed, walking over and seeing Dean's arms full of Coko Loko's. "You'd probably be better off drinking salt water." 

"That makes you go crazy right?" Dean grinned, eyes glittering. "Crazy time juice. You think I'm kidding, but I'll drink this."

"We don't think you're kidding," Roman said, bopping Dean on the backside with his Tequila bottle. Seth grabbed a 6 pack of chilled Modelo, sure he didn't want some hoppy, high calorie IPA. 

Dean bought three cans of Four Loko and they were back on the road again, finally saying goodbye to the mainland proper as they entered onto the overseas highway. As soon as the barrier wall faded away and they came upon the huge flat highway bridge, Seth's eyes widened, taking it all in. He couldn't quite stare off into the view as the traffic was too closely compacted, but it was quite a thing to see. Dean rolled his window down, letting in a rush of salty air that made Roman grin happily in the rearview mirror.

"This is it," he proclaimed, pointing off to the right side of the car where they could easily see the coastline.  "Fuck… I always forget how much I miss the ocean." 

"It's wild," Seth said, looking from one side, and then to the next and feeling a swoop in his stomach. They were riding high above the water line, and he felt a little woken up to the height factor. Everything was blue and stretching out wide in all directions. Little wisps of clouds were above them with large sea birds, riding the wind. Below, a few boats were on the water, fishing or coasting around, enjoying the weather. The air was still tinted with fuel exhaust, but Seth could smell the water below them. 

"That's gunna be us," Dean said, pointing to a boat riding right under the highway. "Chillin out."

"You know how to drive it, right?" Seth asked, looking back at Roman in the backseat with an awkward smile. His boyfriend nodded, rolling his eyes a little. "I mean, I _thought_ you could, I just wanted to make sure!"

"I'll teach you guys, it's really easy," Roman said, scratching his chin. "Docking and anchoring can be kinda hard, but it's only easier with more people."

They sat in relative silence for a few moments, just drinking everything in. Dean especially seemed to be on the edge of his seat, probably feeling a similar sensation to what Seth was experiencing. Like a dog, he kept looking up and down, trying to take in the whole view as the line of cars progressed down the road. Seth accepted Roman's phone back to the center console with directions for the rental marina in Shield Key. 

"I feel like we're flying, this is trippy," Dean said, leaning on the car door and staring out as they came closer to a jetty of land. Seth nodded, feeling his stomach pitch again as the road sloped slightly and they seemed to come soaring down, toward a lining of trees.

"Better see it all now," Seth said seriously, looking around at wide sea with a sense of sudden foreboding. "What, in like fifty years, won't this all be underwater?" 

Driving through Key Largo was their first taste of the sweetness of the seaside town, and put most of the imminent doom of global warming out of their minds. The road curved and they arrived at a tiny little traffic light, shifting down to just thirty miles per hour as they came closer to land again. Almost everyone around was towing a boat or ferrying surfboards around on the top of their car and Seth grinned as he could see a swarm of families outside of shops selling sea shells and souvenirs. All of the stores used by the locals- the coin laundry, a little gym and a garage for auto repair were all painted with ocean murals of dolphins and sharks. 

"Yeah, and there's marina's all over the place," Roman said pointing to both sides of the road and leaning into the center console so he could really be between his boyfriends. "So if we wanted to stay here for a night or something, we could."

"How often did you guys come down here when you were a kid? Your family's got it made!" Seth said, nearly giddy with excitement for their trip. Everything was just so picturesque and quiet looking. Although there was quite a lot of traffic and tourists moving around, there really was only the one road in and out of a fairly small spot. Seth was sure that once they were on the boat and coasting around, it would be easy to find solace. Roman touched his fingertips to his lips, looking a little embarrassed. 

"We got lots of deals, just 'cause we know these guys," Roman said, clearing his throat. "We would do trips just around Pensacola more than anything."

They continued on, past advertisements for sport fishing and scuba. Coming up upon the highway again, Seth sped up to sixty miles an hour as they were back over the ocean again. It was right around two o'clock now, and Dean cracked his neck, looking excited as Shield Key came ahead on the GPS. 

_ In one point two miles, take the right exit onto Echo Road  _ Roman's phone sang off. Seth drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, smiling from ear to ear. 

The Shield Key boat rental was definitely not a pastel, shiny little spot abuzz with families or spring break college kids. At first, Seth had actually been a little afraid Roman had put in the wrong address as they turned off of the highway and began to descend down a sandy little road lined with tall grass and thick palms. Leaning up against a tree, a sign that read MARINA RENTALS had apparently been knocked over by some vehicle and hastily tossed against a tree in the meantime. Seth and Dean followed the curve of the road intently and Roman sat back a little, smoothing the fabric of his shirt over his chest and looking content.

"We're just gunna be good to park the Jeep here?" Seth asked, slowing down to the recommended 10 miles and hour and taking a sharp turn around a tree and some fencing. 

"Yeah, it's no sweat," Roman said. 

They came around a bend and Dean hummed as the marina came into view. A long dock covered the waterline and a few cars were parked by a row of short palms and a tiny little white house that acted as the management for the facility. Three black labs were sitting in the shade awning of the dock, sleeping and looking completely docile. 

"Over there's fine," Roman pointed, and Seth pulled the car ahead eager to park and get out. "That's probably it right there too, see?" he gestured, shifting his hand to indicate a large boat that was parked at the front of the fleet. 

They got out and Seth and Dean didn't waste time walking over to the deck, past the dogs to see the craft Roman had indicated. The only other man was a very tanned middle aged white guy wearing a trucker hat and worn out jeans, ferrying an old toolbox to the other side of the dock. Seth squinted in the light, pushing back his sweaty frizz as Roman walked over to the rental office.

" _ Holy shit _ ," Dean mouthed, looking back at Seth for confirmation. Seth nodded quickly, mouth slightly gaped. Living with Roman, it was sometimes easy to forget that he came from means, but the reminders were decadent. 

DELTA SIERRA ROMEO was written in a sweeping cursive font across the side of what Seth had to imagine had to be at least a sixty foot boat. The bow that was docked in front of them had a little fenced off sitting area with three comfy looking chairs and a little couch circling a table. There were two floors and an awning covering the lounge area.

"And here I was, gunna sleep in the bottom of a speedboat!" Dean laughed, actually taking off his sunglasses and surveying the boat as though it was made of gold. "Jesus weepin' christ."

"Uce might have gotten it wrong though," Seth said weakly, walking down the edge of the dock and looking at the back. There was a grill and a swimming platform, lined with a little protective fence. He didn't really know much about houseboats, but Seth had never seen a boat this lavish cruising around where lake in Iowa where he used to lifeguard. He supposed Florida was different because of the weather. Just as there was a more pronounced car culture, people surely invested more money on their boats. All the same, Seth still couldn't believe that  _ he _ of all people was going to be able to use such a thing. 

"Let's… make sure this is ours..." Seth said shaking his head and laughing lightly. "...Before we go apeshit."

Roman was just coming out of the rental facility with an older blonde woman who was similarly tanned. The dogs sitting on the deck perked up, but she didn't acknowledge them. 

"Let me just show you that thing about the garbage disposal," she murmured, cutting past all three men and opening the little fence on the Delta's bow. If Roman was impressed, he didn't sell a thing, smiling sweetly to his boyfriend's as he followed the manager onto the ship and Seth and Dean trailed behind, slightly jelly-legged. Inside, the ship was stunning, finished with hardwood floors and matching furniture that complimented the wicker chairs outside. The first floor was a continuous open area with a couch, kitchen space and a captain's seat with a large gold steering wheel. The woman shifted to the sink and turned on a switch by the facet, running the garbage disposal which seemed to be making a thudding noise. 

"We had'em look at it, I think what they were sayin' is the motor in it might die soon, so if it gives out, that's no big deal. We're orderin' new parts." She said, turning the switch off again and looking back outside the sliding door. One of the dogs had walked out onto the bow and she shooed it, waving her hand wide. 

"All gassed up though?" Roman asked, holding up a ring of keys. The woman nodded, looking between the three men as though she was doing a quick headcount. 

"This model is the next year's upgrade after the one your dad rented last time. It just didn't have the screen enclosure on the second floor, but it runs about the same," she paused, thinking for a moment. "Weather's supposed to be pretty much perfect."

"Yeah, yeah, I checked that," Roman said kindly, looking between them all and nodding. "It looks great, we'll go ahead and load 'er up then. Thank's a lot!"

It was difficult to contain the swell of energy that was threatening to break out of him, but Seth was just so excited he wanted to scream. As soon as the manager walked off and back onto the deck, both he and Dean dropped their hands to their sides, staring at their boyfriend in exasperation. Roman paused, perhaps slightly alarmed at first, his face drew into a wide grin. 

"Uce, uh, what the  _ fuck _ ?" Seth said punching his boyfriend hard on the arm and gesturing around the space. "Are you  _ kidding _ me right now?"

"Wanna see upstairs?" Roman asked, laughing as Seth and Dean nearly knocked him over, running to the stern, through the bedroom and past the bath, then jogging up the narrow stairs that led to the second floor. The top was exposed, with long chaise lounge chairs and another little table. On the back side, a satellite dish was facing up towards the sky, pointing up to the bright sun cascading down over them. Dean just started giggling, blushing about as pink as when he'd had a fever. 

Roman just stood at the top of the stairs, leaning both elbows on the railings and looking very happy. Seth turned, at a loss. He really had no idea what the price tag was for something like this, but the idea of Roman paying for it made him a little sick to his stomach. This was some other level of living that Seth wasn't at all familiar with, and although he was positive that he could have enjoyed any option that his boyfriend would have gotten… well… he just hadn't expect  _ this _ . 

"This _was_ in the brochure, y'all know that right?" Roman teased, watching their expressions remain inarticulate with glee. "Pictures of the spaces and all."

"Yeah but like…" Dean made a square with his fingers, like a photobox. "All like, zoomed in and shit! Just on the features! I didn't know it was like  _ that _ !"

"Uce, this is…" Seth just shook his head, grinning. "I love you, like-"

"This makes up for Christmas?" Roman asked, tilting his head expectantly. Seth spluttered, turning red. 

"This makes lying to your family almost kind of  _ sort of _ okay," he amended, snickering through his words. 

"Yeah, can we lie about some other stuff?" Dean joked, sauntering over to Roman and holding out his arms happily. Roman embraced him in a hug and let out a little yelp as Dean went to his knees and began trying to tear off his pants, like he was going to suck his dick, right there in the marina. Seth guffawed loudly and Roman sank to a squat, pushing Dean over to wrestle with him. Dean surrendered immediately and accepted a kiss on the nose. 

"But really though," Roman said, looking between the men and patting Dean's chest. Seth walked over. "You know I'd do anything for you guys, right?"

"It would seem so," Seth said, coming in and hugging his boyfriend as well. "This is already really amazing."

"Well let's get loaded up and we'll start this bitch, yeah?" Roman said, giving each of them another kiss on the forehead. 

Seth acted as the intermediary, straddling the boat and the dock to transfer their bags, boxes and groceries into the craft as Dean grabbed them from the car. Roman put their belongings wherever there was room. The whole operation took about twenty minutes and Seth couldn't stop smiling, barely believing what was happening. 

"The bed is just a full," Roman explained as Dean brought the last of the groceries to Seth. "The couch in the living room is a pull out though. We might have to kinda do what we've been doing the last few days and divvy it up."

"I'll sleep on the roof, I don't care." Dean muttered, walking past Seth and bringing the groceries to the kitchen. "I locked the Jeep and put up the reflectors. We all good?"

Seth patted his pockets and stared down at his rolling bag of clothes and his gym bag with the rest of his belongings. Even the extra pumpkin seeds from the car had been brought inside. 

"Fuck," Seth said suddenly, remembering. Roman and Dean raised their eyebrows. "I forgot our little, the plans, the plans I made-" Seth waved his hand, feeling stupid. "The shit I put on the fridge with all the plans for each day!"

"It's fine," Roman said, laughing lightly. "We can do whatever, it's not a big deal." 

"Yeah, I know," Seth sighed, sure that he was the only one that really cared. "It was good to have though..." 

They waved to the manager as she passed by one last time and Roman came down to sit in the captain's seat. Feeling giddy and excited, Seth lowered himself down into his boyfriend's lap, giving him a kiss on the cheek. 

"How do I drive?" Seth asked, twirling the steering wheel lightly with his thumb and forefinger, Roman grunted and scooted him higher in his lap, trying to make the position comfortable. Batting Seth's hands lightly, he put two keys into the ignition and turned them both. The boat grumbled alive and Dean hollered with excitement. 

"This it the helm," Roman said, patting the steering wheel and then tapping the two different keys. "Port engine, starboard engine."

"Which one is port and which one is starboard?" Seth asked, gazing up into his boyfriend's eyes. Roman bounced his knees a little, blushing. It was obvious he really liked to teach. 

"Port," Roman said, pointing to the left side of the boat. "Starboard," he pointed to the right. "They're also on the port and starboard sides, if you forget. I ran the blower already for a little bit, but you wanna do that and just make sure these lights are on before you start it up." He poked at the little bulbs above the keys and Seth nodded. "Tack's at about 1,000 RPM, so you know that it's workin' good."

"Uce, why don't we live on one of these?" Dean asked, watching over his shoulder and sounding accusatory. "You know all of this and you still wanna live in a  _ house _ ?" 

"Maybe when I retire," Roman laughed, folding his eyebrows. "I'm a big man, I need to spread out some. Plus I think I'd just get lazy, living on the water."

"Anyways," Seth said, eager to start. "How do we get out of here?"

Roman showed them the procedure for docking and undocking and Seth tried his hands at a few boating knots, trying his best to follow along as Roman quickly untied and re-tied the tether in a figure eight. 

"I'll demonstrate it better when we haul in for the night, but don't try to jump right off the bow to catch the dock, you're just going to fall in the water or fuck up your knee, yeah?" Roman said, falling into his usual cautionary tone. "There aren't any brakes, so we try to tie in and then back the ass toward the dock and then catch that end."

"Okay, Seth said, sort of understanding. "Right." 

Roman reversed them out slowly, and Dean and Seth acted as his spotters, ensuring nobody was in their way, threatening to bump into them. As soon as it was possible, they swung around and slowly made their way out to some buoy markers.

"You never wanna make a big wave this close to shore," Roman said, speaking loud enough to be heard. "It's a jackass move."

Seth walked out onto the bow and looked to Dean a few steps behind him. All that was ahead was the open water, in any boundless direction they wanted. The ocean was still, and except for birds circling overhead and a few boats in the distance, they were alone now. A shiver ran down Seth's spine as they began to approach the buoy, which was orange with a large circle.

"That's the wake zone," Roman said. Seth blinked and then nearly stumbled as Roman laid into the gas and the boat rapidly picked up speed. Dean laughed hard and Seth grinned, looking ahead as Roman pushed forward quickly, turning the ship to run more parallel with the shoreline. 

"She runs good!" Roman said loudly, kicking up the speed even higher. Seth could feel the little flyaways of his hair whipping his cheeks. Water splashed up onto the sides of the bow and little flecks of moisture blew up into the wind. 

"I wanna try!" Seth yelled, coming back over to where Roman was sitting. Roman eased out of the seat and Seth sat, hands trembling as he grasped the steering wheel.

"Just don't whip it to hard in any one direction, let's try to keep following the buoy line." Roman recommended. 

It was exhilarating to start and Seth hastened to crank up to the same speed Roman had been cruising at, feeling immensely powerful. He hadn't even driven a speedboat since he'd worked on the lake so many summers ago. The craft seemed to handle well and Seth stood up as he steered, pushing the chair back and admiring the view from his window. Nothing in his life thus far really compared. At least, no experience he'd had yet had been similar. His face was starting to hurt from being so excited and happy. 

By six, all three men had driven around several times, and they'd found the highway overpass that had led them into Shield Key from Largo. Slowing down to a nice cruise, Seth was undecided between sitting on the bow of the ship, to running upstairs to the second floor and admiring the view. Through his dark shades, the water still glimmered so bright it burned his eyes a little, and he was sure he could feel his skin starting to prickle from the exposure to the sun. Dean went oddly quiet, almost transfixed as he drove the boat and Roman watched, giving tips and explanations where he saw an opportunity to do so. 

"I'm fuckin' sweating still," he said, sitting up in his seat. Seth watched as Roman pulled himself out of his shirt, wearing just his cargo pants. "Time to take a little dip." 

"Right here right now?" Seth asked, heart beating a little faster at the prospect of just jumping off the boat. Roman walked to where he'd set his bag in the bedroom and began pulling out his belongings, looking for a swim suit. "Does it matter where we're at?" 

"Just wanna dip," Roman shrugged, grinning as he quickly stripped naked and tossed a skin tight pair of trunks that were really unsuitable for anyone who didn't want to know exactly how big his cock was. Seth smirked, shirking off his own shirt. His swim suit was at the bottom of his bag and he honestly didn't care if he wore his underwear, a dark pair of boxer briefs. 

"Uhhhhhhh," Dean hummed, his leg bouncing around Seth tossed his pants and shirt aside. "We gunna anchor down then? Or…" 

"We'll just kill the engine and keep close to the boat," Roman said, making the appropriate turns of the controls in Dean's place. Seth watched the engine dials shudder off and the boat stilled, moving just as the water moved, gliding them along. "C'mon Deano. It's a little early to skinny dip, but we won't tell nobody..."

Seth's eyes widened as Roman full on charged out of the boat like a raging bull and jumped off of the swimming platform on the stern with a huge splash. Seth followed, less enthusiastically, and watched as his boyfriend reappeared, his hair soaked and wet. 

"Cold?" Seth asked, walking to the edge and dipping his toes in. It felt  _ really  _ good. "I think I can cannon ball if I get enough air," he said, grinning huge as he looked behind him to assess the speed. Roman just kicked, coming closer as the boat shifted with the motion of the water. Dean watched as Seth took a few steps back and yelled, running fast and jumping as high as his stiff legs would carry him. The impact caught him off guard and his knees really didn't want to bend much, but Seth kicked himself back to the surface, laughing and tasting salt water in his mouth. 

"Fuck that feels so good," Seth said, spitting out a salty mouthful and wading over to his boyfriend. Roman scooped him up close and kissed him on the cheek before tossing him out again, laughing. Both of their hair was spidering along their faces in a huge mess, falling out of their sloppy buns and onto their shoulders. Looking up at the boat, Dean was surveying them cautiously, still wearing his shirt. 

"You waiting for a drumroll?" Roman asked, paddling forward again as the boat shifted. Seth followed, but was confused, craning his neck up to see what his boyfriend was looking at. The smile had faded a little from his face and he looked incredibly indecisive, shifting anxiously from foot to foot. As they drew closer, Seth could see that he kept his eyes on the water around them, as though he was expecting something to pop up. 

"I think I'm good," Dean said, trying to sound nonchalant. Seth scoffed and Dean just shrugged, not interested. He continued to watch the water and Seth frowned. Their boyfriend was not afraid of water, he was a lifeguard for fucksake. 

"You just… wanna swim later?" Seth asked, hiking himself up so his arms were holding up his bodyweight on the edge of the swimming platform. His feet dangled and Seth watched as Dean bit his lip, clearly very uncomfortable with whatever he was thinking up. Roman waded over too, similarly confused. 

"What's up?" Roman asked quietly, looking up at Dean carefully. Dean didn't move and Roman hauled himself up and back onto the boat, gazing up at their dry lover, who looked more annoyed than anything else. Dean heaved a sigh, looking to Roman and then to Seth, frustrated. 

" _ Sharks _ ," he said simply, as if that explained the whole thing. Seth couldn't help a little chuckle coming out of his throat, but Roman appeared more serious, raising his eyebrows.

"Sharks?" he clarified, trying to get to the bottom of it. Dean raised himself up on his tiptoes, fidgeting hard.

"We swam in the ocean in Miami," Seth countered, shaking his head. "Dude, you're not going to get murdered by sharks…"

"They're gigantic," Dean said, raising up his hand and dully counting off a list he had apparently been keeping. "They're fast. They live here and I don't. I can't see them until I'm already being eaten-"

"Babe, we're just taking a dip," Roman clarified, whipping wet hair over his shoulder and pointing out the ocean. "We're just getting a little wet and then we're going again!"

"Perfect!" Dean said, looking at his boyfriend's with mock enthusiasm and pointing back inside the boat. "Let's get goin' then!" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm posting 4 of the 5 parts today. Enjoy and Happy Easter!


	16. Shield Key [Part: 2]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 of 5

The  _ Delta Sierra Romeo _ was docked for the night in Key Largo after a lot of back and forth hollering from one end of the boat to the other. Roman was at the helm, sitting up and alert as Dean took the tether for the bow and Seth sat at the stern with his own rope. It wasn't a particularly difficult process, but it was just slow and required some communication to run smoothly. Dean was still kind of quiet and withdrawn from the admission of his reluctance to swim in the ocean, but the more Seth thought about it, the more it made sense. 

"I'll give you all a key to this door too-" Roman said, pulling two extra keys from an envelope the manager had given him. "They're just to this door," he explained, patting the door at the front of the boat. "They don't start the engine or nothing." 

Seth took his key and slid it into his wallet. Dean took his with a nod and began fishing it onto his everyday keyring. The sun was dipping low in the sky, signaling the mid evening as Seth could hear other boaters talking outside on the dock. To their right was another houseboat, and to the left, was some sort of pleasure ride, probably used for fishing. 

"'M hungry," Dean said, looking to both men as Roman was putting his phone into his pocket. They'd gotten dressed into clothes again and tied their wet hair back. "We should get some seafood."

There was a fish and chicken shack just down the road from the dock and they ended up getting large to-go bags full of shrimps and wings. Nobody talked much as they drank from their large styrofoam take-away cups and walked back to the dock to eat on the waterfront. For Seth, everything was just a sight to take in, from the ocean view, to the little gravel pathways lined with large palms. Roman was keeping close to Dean, sensing that he was probably a little stressed out about the swimming situation, but they all grinned as they returned and found a pelican perched on the bow of the boat, looking prehistoric and intimidating. 

"They smell like fish," Roman said, waving his large arm near the bird as Dean protested. The bird's enormous wings unfolded and it struggled to fly off without a breeze.

"He could have been our buddy," Dean sighed, plopping down on one of the chairs and taking out his food. "New bird friend while Crispy ain' here."

"Did we just wanna… chill tonight then?" Seth yawned wide, pushing his sunglasses up his nose and sitting between Dean and Roman. "Unpack a little?"

"Yeah, I was thinkin' we could inflate the tubes and maybe I'll take a walk and see if I can't get some grill stuff," Roman suggested, pointing to the back of the ship where the grill was sitting. "Didn't think we'd have one, but it might be nice to make up some stuff and just stick it in the fridge. Save some money when we wanna eat between meals." 

"I think tomorrow-" Seth said, wiping some grease from the corner of this mouth with a napkin, "I'm tryin' to remember what we put down… but I think I either wrote down kayaking or the turtle hospital, maybe both." He looked to Roman for some sort of confirmation. "That was in like, Islamorada, yeah? South of here?"

"Yeah, it's a little cruise down the keys, past where we were at," Roman said, swallowing his food and looking to Dean. "You wanna do that?" 

Dean just shrugged, looking at his food. Seth frowned, feeling frustrated. They were on possibly the best vacation they could have managed and he didn't want anyone having a weird attitude, it just felt like a waste of time. If his boyfriend decided to check out the whole week, it would really ruin the whole trip.

"You're still into jet-skiing though, yeah?" Seth asked, keeping his gaze focused on Dean. "Sharks can't fuck with you on that. You know you'll still probably have to get in the water for that though, right?"

"Yeah, I do," Dean said, sighing hard and looking back up at Seth, then to Roman. "You guys can do whatever you want, you know that, right? I told you I'd be down to just chill on the boat. I'm not lying."

"Would you come kayaking with us?" Roman asked softly, looking to Seth with a sort of pleading look in his eyes. Seth blinked, hardly thinking he was overstepping his boundaries in trying to figure out what Dean's phobia was. "I'm pretty sure we'd just be going around the shoreline. No deep ocean shit where we're out like battling waves or anything."

Dean nodded quickly, sitting back in his seat. "That's fine, I'll do that."

"Are you gunna _ like it _ though?" Seth asked, raising an eyebrow. "What about snorkeling? I just…" Seth laughed nervously, looking to Roman for some kind of confirmation. "I just never thought that you wouldn't wanna do this stuff. Sorry if it's weird."

"I don't not  _ not  _ want to do it," Dean said firmly, picking at his nail beds. "I just don't want to see a fucking shark."

"Okay, but..." Seth said, still laughing a little. "But what, what if I get bitten by a shark, what would you do then? Or what about Uce? What would you do?"

"What would  _ you _ do?" Dean asked back, incredulously. "What the fuck could I do? I'd throw floatable shit at you like we've been _trained_ to do and call 911 or whatever and freak the fuck out!"

"Dean, you can do whatever you want, yeah?" Roman said, clearly dismayed at the digressing conversation. "We'll find some stuff to do each day that we  _ all  _ like, okay?" he looked at Seth pointedly. "And it's really  _ not _ a big deal."

"I didn't say it was!" Seth said, turning pink and looking to Dean. "I just don't want you to miss out on stuff. I'd feel fucked up if it was just me and Roman swimming and running around and all that and you were just on the boat."

"I'll sit in the inner tube maybe," Dean said, rising to his feet and walking into the kitchen. "Gettin' a beer…"

The rest of the day's light was spent with Roman playing some music off his speaker and putting away a few extra kitchen things that they'd brought along. To Seth, it felt a lot like home, where they played some jams and cleaned dishes after dinner. Dean went to the roof to blow up the inner tubes and Seth nursed some indigestion and sipped his beer, staring at the coastline. 

Everything seemed very far away, and for the first time, he felt strangely quiet and empty. Other boats were playing music and a few people were walking the docks and doing maintenance on their vessels. In Orlando, Sasha and Bayley were probably at their house, maybe watching a movie or playing with the chickens in the backyard. It had been hours since he'd checked his phone, but Seth didn't have any compulsion to do so, feeling the rectangular device pressing against his thigh through his short's pocket. His skin felt salty from the water and his hair was still wet. On the back of his neck, Seth was sure he was getting a little tan or pink, he wasn't sure. Being by the water was kind of disorienting and as he laid down in the half shade, he felt himself nodding off a little, tired from the full day of driving. 

When he woke again, he sat up fast in the darkness, nearly tossing off a thin blanket that had been draped over him at some point. He had no idea what time it was, but the lights on the boat where on and through the door, Seth could see Roman sitting on the ground in just a pair of gym shorts. Disoriented, Seth rose to his feet and walked inside, struggling to be fully awake. 

"Good nap?" Roman asked, Seth blinked and nodded, watching his boyfriend page through a few channels on the little TV opposite the helm. "The bed's all set up for us. Dean wanted to sleep on the roof tonight."

"Is he okay?" Seth asked, minding his volume as he wasn't sure where his boyfriend was at the moment. Letterman was playing on the TV, probably loud enough to drown them out. 

"He's fine," Roman said, without a hint of hesitation. "We talked a bit while you were out. He said from Christmas that all he wanted to do was chill on the boat. It's not a big deal if he does to me, but I think he'll still tag along and do the Dean version of whatever we're doin'." Roman said, changing the channel to some sitcom, shrugging. "Just lay off it. I know you were tired and cranky from being up early."

Seth didn't say anything to this, sure that however he felt about it, Roman was just going to side with Dean anyway. It was a very crazy day, all things considered, with discovering the prim little floating hotel they'd be living in for the next few days. Seth walked to the bedroom and his shoulders softened as he could see the wide, dark ocean from their back door. Little fireworks could be seen popping up on the coastlines, but for the most part, the expanse was still and cool. For a few moments, he just stood, taking it all in, wondering how many sharks could really be out there, in his line of sight, swimming around aimlessly beneath the depths.

* * *

Waking up in a bed with a distinctly unfamiliar smell was a little strange, and at first, Seth shuffled around awkwardly. The bedroom was tiny and light flooded in through the windows on the wall and door, incredibly bright. Roman was partially draped over him, nearly pushing his body off the bed with his legs scissored out across the mattress. Well rested as he was, Seth had no real idea of the time, being so thoroughly plucked out of his usual routine of waking up in the middle of both his boyfriend's, snuggled together on their bed in Orlando. His phone was dead because he hadn't bothered to charge it.

"Mornin'," Roman hummed in his ear, purring. Seth grunted, burying his face in the plush pillow. He really did want to start his day and get going somewhere nice, but he also wanted to be thoroughly lazy. Outside, boats were whirring and people were laughing and talking lightly. 

Roman sat up first and Seth took the opportunity to fully stretch on the bed, yawning wide. The sheets were a soft yellow and the light shining in from the windows cascaded over Roman's dark skin, making him look more tanned by comparison to his light surroundings. Seth's yawn made Roman yawn and they grinned at each other, a little sleepy and horny, but mostly just enjoying each other's presence. 

"You look handsome," Seth mumbled, toying with the edge of Roman's briefs that were sticking out of his gym shorts. Roman eased a hand to Seth's scalp, pushing back his fluffy ocean hair and smiling warmly. 

"You look sexy," Roman countered, re-adjusting his dick in his shorts carefully. "If these walls weren't so paper thin, I'd screw ya."

"Mmm," Seth moaned, closing his eyes as Roman's hands threaded through his hair again, giving him little shivers. "Mm' just do it anyway…"

A little chime was heard on the dock and Roman looked up as they could hear someone walking on the bow of the boat, clunking around and making the craft shift slightly with their weight. Seth sat up and both men snorted, watching Dean wheel a little street bike onto the bow. 

"Where'd you get that?" Roman called, laughing as Dean opened the door and came into the common space with a plastic bag. The bike leaned up against his side and Dean grinned, chiming the little bell call on the handlebars of the bike. It was powder blue and looked to be pretty old. 

"There was some garage sale where I went for a walk," he explained, putting the kickstand on and taking off his sunglasses. "Sun woke me up. I went out 'n got coffee and these lil' donut things."

"You just go exploring?" Seth chuckled, rising out of bed with his boyfriend and walking over to get a little snack. Dean nodded, pointing around the dock. 

"Yea, I went back by the place we got food yesterday and then there was a garage sale at a house. I thought I could bike around the island a bit, but then I noticed the tire was flat so I just got air in it at the gas station and came back with food." he shrugged, picking at where his armpits were sweating through his shirt a little. "Nice out."

"Should we get goin' for the day?" Roman asked, looking around. "What did we wanna do first then?" 

"I wanna kayak," Seth said decisively, patting sugar dust off his fingers as he stuck the rest of the treat into his mouth. "Islamorada."

"That's cool," Dean agreed, sitting down in the captain's chair and spinning around aimlessly. "I'll drive it if you tell me where to go."

The island they were going to was only about thirty minutes away, and Seth hastened to the back of the boat to untether the craft and get them moving for the day. His knee was a little stiff and his skin felt slightly dry from the water and sun, but as soon as they slowly accelerated past the no-wake zone, he forgot his discomforts. The sun was almost blinding as it reflected back on the water, making all of their surroundings a pattern of dancing light. The black jumping platform was cooked hot, and Seth sat in the shade, watching the water speed by as he snacked on a second bene. Roman put on some music again, and sat out on the patio with his shirt off and his hair down. 

"Have you ever been kayaking before?" Seth asked, coming in to sit next to Dean and steal a drink off of his coffee. Dean frowned, thinking. 

"I been in a canoe," he said, slightly louder so he could be heard over the boat's engines. "Long time ago. Don't really remember that much."

"They're fun," Seth said, trying to be encouraging. "I'll bet there's lots of like, cool birds and fish around too that we can see. We can do whatever you want after though, if you're hankering for anything."

"Hankerin'," Dean repeated, playing with the word in his mouth. "Get a hankering."

"Whatever you want to hanker for," Seth smiled. Dean cleared his throat, outlining the edge of the steering wheel with his forefinger. 

"I'll be fine," Dean reiterated. "Really, I want you guys to do whatever you want. I just got that bike so we could run errands and stuff in case we needed anything. All these places seem pretty small, but walkin' still takes longer than driving." He licked his lips, clearly turning over his words. "Don't want you and Uce to feel like you gotta babysit me. I just saw Jaws when I was like way too young."

"For sure," Seth said, feeling a little disoriented by the motion of the boat. For a few minutes, they just sat and listened to the radio, content to be quiet and still. Seth stopped drinking off of Dean's coffee and kneaded his temple a little, feeling slightly off put. It wasn't until Roman came by and offered them some cool bottled water's from the fridge that Seth realized he was probably seasick.

"Where are those band things?" Seth asked, putting a knuckle to his forehead and pressing lightly. "Think I need one."

"You good?" Roman asked, striding to the bedroom and grabbing one of the boxes they'd purchased. Seth nodded, sure he wasn't going to throw up if he got one on soon enough. The GPS said they were getting close to their destination, but they'd still have to do some docking and circling around. Seth pulled the box open and looked at the instructions carefully. Apparently, he was supposed to put a little banded bracelet on each of his wrists, finding a pressure point. Roman hovered over him, offering up aspirin and trying to gauge his symptoms, but Seth just waved him off, drinking from his bottle of water.

"I'll be good," Seth sighed, examining his banded wrists with resignation. "Great new fashion statement here."

Roman knew the dock they were going to, a rather large area with several boats mingling around, waiting to come in as others made their way out. Dean puttered the engine down to a halt and they mingled several ships behind in line, waiting patiently to dock. Seth's symptoms began to fade rapidly, and he was glad he'd thought to get them on sooner than later, as the light waves jostled them around. 

"I want one too," Dean said, pointing to Seth's sea band before standing up and making his way to the bedroom. "Don't wanna feel weird."

"Summer always said it wasn't bad when you were driving, just when you were a passenger," Roman said, leaning on the doorframe and watching the other ships in front of them make their move. "Makes me glad I don't get like that."

"You never get carsick?" Seth asked, Roman shrugged, shaking his head.

Docking was easier the second time and Seth whooped as he managed to sling a rope around their post on the first try, pulling the boat flush to the dock after Dean had managed to get a hold on the front of the boat. Roman clapped his hands together and began gathering up his things, pushing his wallet into his pocket and eating the last bene from the box.

"I forgot to mention too-" He muttered, hopping into the bedroom and pulling out a couple of little disposable cameras, fresh in the box. "I saw these at the store last night, when I was picking up grill stuff. Thought we could take some old-style photos if we wanted. These are waterproof."

"Whaaaaaat?" Dean said excitedly, stealing a camera out of Roman's hand. In less than five seconds, he'd pulled it out of it's light-sensitive packaging and snapped a photo of Roman and Seth standing in the boat, confused and unprepared. "These are sick, I haven't used one of these in years!"

"Thanks Uce," Seth said, smirking and tucking a camera in his pocket. "We could use these for snorkeling, that's awesome."

The three made their way out onto the dock and paid the parking fee by sliding cash into a little box, marked with the appropriate envelope. The sun was shining high and birds were soaring overhead, likely scavenging off of tourists and their trash. 

"Basically the farther down the keys we go, the more chilled out everything is," Roman described happily, pointing out the rather unassuming, cozy little houses that lined the shore. They looked expensive, in that the properties were well maintained and most folks had their own watercraft, but almost every piece of furniture had a sort of recumbent slant on it that lended itself to lounging. Where Key Largo had a lot more concrete buildings and densely packed fauna lining the shore, Seth thought Islamorada was a lot more open and sandy, with shorter buildings and more marina space.

"Lots of fishing," Dean remarked, rather redundantly. As they got to the road and looked around, Seth could see car after car with fishing boats, poles and gear, all strapped in and heading down to get to a dock space. Hand painted signs advertised the various fees of loading and unloading, and taxidermied prized catches hung life like and looming on the face of the bait store. 

"Do you remember the name of the place?" Roman asked Seth, pulling out his phone and looking right and left to make sure they weren't in anyone's way. Seth paused, thinking hard. "I forgot what it was called."

"I don't… think so…" Seth said, disheartened. He'd left his own phone in the boat, dead as it was. "It said something about the mangroves though… I remembered that much…"

Robbie's didn't actually have 'Mangroves' in the name, but it was familiar to what Seth had seen in the brochures. Squinting at Roman's phone in the daylight, Seth nodded quickly as Roman drew up the map to where they ought to be going. The business offered kayak, paddleboard and boat rentals, as well as guided tours of the surrounding protected wildlife areas. About a mile's walk down the road, Seth lagged behind a little, going easy on his knee and feeling his ears start to burn from all the sunshine. 

"Am I getting burnt?" Seth asked his boyfriend's seriously, walking into the shade of a tree and looking between his boyfriends. Dean himself looked like his nose was getting slightly pink, but Roman produced a bottle of sunscreen from the backpack he'd slung over his shoulder, offering it up.

"Gotta keep my boys safe," Roman laughed, taking the opportunity to drink a large amount of water from the bottle he was carrying. "Haven't ever needed that stuff, myself."

"God bless your beige ass," Dean said, making Seth splutter and laugh as he tried to rub the lotion into his face. After both men were assured they weren't sporting any white spots, they continued up the road, taking smaller steps to accommodate Seth's leg. Robbie's was difficult to miss on approach, with a huge red sign that was easily legible, although mired in palm leaves. Scores of tourists were running around the building, some wearing swimsuits and sunhats. Older women were carrying cocktails and a lot of the men had fishing caps and polarized sunglasses, looking sun-crisped and dull.

"You wanna get a bite before we do out?" Roman asked, patting his own stomach. "I wanna eat if we're going to do a bunch of rowin'."

Seth nodded and they walked into the adjoining restaurant with a bar already busy with a mid morning rush. The view of the water was good, although it was maybe a little more crowded than the three might have liked. All around them were tourists and families that were spilling onto the ocean in some degree. A large sign advertised a tarpon feeding area, and Seth could barely see the water where a large group of kids were congregating and yelling as the area splashed with activity. Boats were coming and going, people were dragging paddle  boards and kayaks across the sand, and Seth adjusted the sea bands around his wrist carefully, thinking that he didn't want to be traveling with a huge crowd of drunks or children.

Trying to be healthy, he ordered water and a grilled fish sandwich for a little brunch. Roman picked up the tab for a huge fishbowl mimosa for them to all share, and a man at the table next to them stared strangely as they passed the drink around. 

"You good man?" Roman asked sharply as he caught the guy staring for a third time. Seth puffed out his chest a little, unconsciously flexing his arms as the man shook his head and looked away, obviously not interested in starting anything. There was always a lingering fear that someone might try to start some shit with them if they looked too gay in public, but Roman's size and Dean's withering look usually shut down any naysayers. 

"Hate people like that," Roman sighed as they went to go pay at the front register. Dean just shrugged and Seth looked back over his shoulder, making sure they weren't being followed. There wasn't any real imminent threat of danger, but he wanted to be sure that nothing was going to ruin their nice day on the water. A closely manicured little path led up to the kayak rentals, and Dean led the way down the little rock path where a queue of people were gathering to get their boats. 

"Did you want to do the tour babe?" Roman asked, putting his hand on Seth's shoulder and looking to him sweetly. Seth's cheek twitched, looking to Dean and the large group that appeared to be waiting to set out as a group. 

"Mmnah," Seth said, examining the list of prices above the rental window, written in colored chalk. It was just slightly cheaper for them to get their own boats anyway. "Let's just do this ourselves,"

Roman and Dean had no objections, more interested in letting Seth take the lead and walk up to the counter for rentals, pulling out his wallet. After Roman had paid for so much of the trip, he thought it was only fair that he pick up the tab for their boats that day. 

"Uh, I wanted to do the two hour kayak rental," Seth said, sliding his debit card across the counter and pointing to the menu of options. "Could I get three boats? Are lifejackets included?"

"Lifejackets are required, and they're five dollars for adults," the blonde haired man at the counter said, almost robotically. Seth nodded, pinching his lips as the total was added it. Whatever. He was on vacation.

"Just show these tickets to the boat shack attendant to the left and down the stairs, she'll get you your boats and let you know any additional information," the man said, sliding Seth's card back with his receipt to be signed and a few plain looking tickets. "Have a nice trip."

"Thanks babe," Roman said, accepting his ticket from Seth as he returned from the line and pointed in the direction they were going. According to the ticket stub, they had until 1:30 to return the boats to the shack. Seth hoped it would be enough time to see everything, and he glanced at Dean's face as they made their way down the stairs towards a large coral of boats by the water's side. If his boyfriend had some sort of shark related panic attack, Seth would be sympathetic, but also rather sour if he couldn't get enough time on the water. However, Dean looked completely impassive as they made their way to the shack and through the line. 

Each of their boats were different colors and Roman had to try on about three different sizes of lifejacket before he found one that fit. Seth tried to tow his own red kayak to the water's edge, but winced slightly as his knee twisted from the act of pulling the boat across the sand. Dean quickly stepped in, pushing from behind to get his kayak in line with the rest of theirs, lapping up against the water and ready for action. 

"We get little maps too," Roman said, coming down from the boat shack with little pamphlets in his hand of the areas encouraged for boating. "Mangroves, right?"

"Yeah, if that sounds cool with everyone," Seth said, examining the little inlet of trees that was just a short distance from Robbie's. Dean was playing with his kayak paddle, bouncing the blade of the stick on his foot and looking over inflated in his life jacket. "Well, it's 11:45 now… let's do this."

Seth and Dean got in their boats first as Roman was the only one wearing actual swim trunks. Each man sat down in their kayaks and he pushed them out sweetly before shifting his own boat into the water and quickly hopping in. Seth dipped his paddle in the water and drew it back and forth the turn the boat around, gritting his teeth and Roman's kayak sunk just a little bit more than theirs, heavy with it's passenger. Dean was just sitting in his own boat with the kayak paddle draped across the top, relaxed and zen as can be. 

"Okay, well," Seth said, beginning to paddle up the shore. "Follow me I guess."

It was difficult to stay tightly knit and also difficult to hear each other as they spread apart. Seth kept up a good pace at first, but his arms began to tire as they wrapped around the bend of the coastline, entering into the line of trees. Other tourists were paddle boarding around and a few speedboats could be heard in the distance, but for the most part, Seth just heard the wind whistling in his ears and the pleasing tip of his paddle in the water. Looking beneath his boat, the ocean floor had become grassy and green with a rich carpet of plant life. 

"Seth!" Roman called. Seth turned around and grinned, seeing Roman holding up one of the disposable cameras. He was too far away to really hear a click, but he relaxed as his boyfriend lowered the camera and turned to Dean for the same treatment. He continued to paddle on, pushing toward the trees and wondering if there were any rocks of shallow spots he was supposed to avoid. For being a heavily traveled area, Seth was impressed by how little garbage and signs of human interference he was seeing. The trees were gnarled and wild looking as he cruised closer, parting to allow entrance into the sea-forest. 

"You wanna go in?" Seth called behind him, straining his neck to see where his boyfriends were at. He laughed as they were almost right behind him and Dean's boat bumped his, turning it slightly sideways. 

"Yeah," Roman said, consulting his map. "Most of these just turn around into a circle anyway, should be pretty easy to get out when we want." 

Pushing into the brush meant leaving a lot of the noises from the shore aside and all three men had to duck their heads as a few low lying branches covered the path. The light fragmented into a stencil made from the trees and the water looked dark and foggy under their boats. Below, Seth could see movement, imagining schools of fish following the shadows of their boats. 

"Hope nobody comes up on us comin' the other way," Roman said, his voice quieting as the three were so compacted. "We'll make a road block."

Seth felt a little weird leading the way as he really wanted to take his time and properly stare at everything in front of him. It was a little like being in an alien world as the water was so calm and the trees bowed out across the water on stilts. Here and there, a few birds chirped and distant little splashes could be heard from turtles or other marine life making their way through the impenetrable labyrinth of tree roots. Feeling Roman's kayak pressing close, Seth paddled on, trying to make sure that he didn't disturb any of the undergrowth.

"Have you done this before?" Seth asked Roman, turning in his boat. Roman shook his head, similarly reverent for the space they'd paddled into.

"Nah. I've only been to Islamorada once and me and my dad and my brother all went fishing with one of my dad's friends." Roman explained, "I haven't done… anything like this…"

Dean grunted in approval and Seth turned back in his boat, feeling smug. He hadn't necessarily doubted that his boyfriend's would enjoy the activity, but the look of raw wonder on their faces was as much validation as he needed to support his choice. Seth knew that when he liked to see new places, he enjoyed the solace of exploring areas that were a little less traveled. Roman wasn't particularly outdoorsy, and Dean's go-with-the flow attitude usually meant that he didn't provide any ideas for acceptable activities. Taking a little kayak trip through a scenic area was a Seth idea, and his boyfriend's seemed to be enjoying it quietly and respectfully.

"It's so beautiful," Roman said, rather redundantly as they continued into an area where the canopy made a perfect lattice over their heads. "I wonder how deep it is?"

"Probably not that deep," Seth guessed, not wanting to dip his paddle down to find out and have it pulled under his boat on accident. 

"It says in here there's dolphins and manatees around," Roman says, taking a moment to consult the map and look into the water hopefully. "Would be really cool to see that."

"You ever see a dolphin before?" Seth asked Roman, sure that he was probably sounding annoying, asking so many questions. 

"Yeah, loads in Pensacola," Roman said, allowing Dean to pass him as he studied the pamphlet in his hands. Dean snapped a few pictures of the tree branches, mystified. "Went to Sea World a few times, back in it's heyday."

They continued on, occasionally seeing other visitors paddling through the reeds as the waterways opened up. Some areas were very thin and Seth had to push branches away from his face, clearing a path that didn't get as much traffic. Twice they opened up onto the greater coast where mangroves were growing in isolated blobs above the waterline. Peeking through and seeing under the trees, Seth wondered how such a plant could have possibly evolved, seemingly without any sediments at the base to grow inside. The trees looked like long, spindly spiders, shifting in the wind with their large glossy leaves. 

"Hello!" an older man waved at then, coasting along on a paddle board with his little dog standing at the front. They said hello back, waving as he and his wife passed in the opposite direction. Ahead, Seth could see a long legged white bird fishing by the trees and he paddled closer to see better. Just as he turned to point out the bird, he could hear Dean mumbled a panicked "Sh-SHIT-" bracing his paddle in front of him like a sword.

"Dean?" Roman asked, turning his boat with a hard pull of his paddle. Seth could see a grey blob cresting over the surface of the water, larger than the kayak and speckled. 

"Fucking-" Dean sighed, breaking into an awkward laugh. "Scared the shit out of me…"

"Oh wow, look at that!" Roman beamed, coming closer and motioning for Seth. "Manatee!"

Something about Dean's boat seemed to amuse the huge creature the most and Dean, though amused, looked tentative about the large creature looming so close by. The three boats came together in a sort of broken triangle and Seth let out a soft  _ wow  _ looking on at the huge creature breaking the surface and wiggling it's huge nose in the air. 

"There's another one!" Roman said, pointing as a slightly smaller manatee was coasting along the tree line, coming closer to the first at a steady pace. "Man, they're so  _ huge _ !"

"You okay Dean-o?" Seth asked, watching Dean stare down at the creature in awe and bewilderment. Dean nodded, putting his hand out and hovering it over the blob.

"Don't touch…" Roman cautioned softly. "We don't wanna like, socialize 'em to people or anything..."

"I think it's a little late for that now," Seth laughed, his heart pounding fast as he felt the gentle bump of the second manatee coming closer. "This is crazy, aren't manatee's supposed to be endangered or something?"

"I think they've been doing better lately," Roman said, sighing as Dean gave the manatee a quick pat before withdrawing his hand. "People hit them with boats a lot, but there's more laws protectin' them now."

"The tails are big," Dean remarked, drawing back a little as the first manatee pumped it's giant round tail and broke away from where the boats were circling it. "Do they just eat fish or something?"

"Just plants," Roman said, following his line of sight on the manatees as they swam away, looking for something else. "Sea cows, yeah?"

"That was awesome," Seth said, checking his watch. "Did you get a picture?" 

"Yeah, yeah," Dean said, motioning with the disposable camera. "Should we head back?"

Seth's arms were only a little sore from paddling as they made their way toward Robbie's and the kayak shack. The wind was in their favor this time, and the soft breeze blew them back up the shore toward the noise of the coastline full of people. Seth sort of wished he could stay longer and just sit in his boat and read a book or something, but he could just as easily do so on the houseboat. With a lot of sunshine and some physical activity, he felt good, but sleepy. After the mini-scare of meeting the manatees, Dean seemed the most active as far as hauling their kayaks out of the water while Roman returned their paddles, sweating a little from the heat. 

"Walk back?" Roman asked, shaking off his slip on shoe for a moment to re-orient it on his foot. Dean and Seth nodded and they walked back up the steps, feeling slightly jittery being back on their feet. A new rush of tourists had filled the restaurant area, and more and more people were building traffic on the road, trying to get back to their houses or resorts after a good morning of fishing.

"Thanks for doing that with me guys, I really liked that," Seth said, looking at Dean and Roman seriously and hoping they could feel the appreciation radiating off him. 

"I love you," Roman said sweetly, holding out his hand for their three way fist-bump. "Yeah, yeah," Dean echoed, joining in. Nobody really had to say much more and Seth was sure that the three were gearing up for a nice little mid-afternoon nap when they returned. Beholden to nothing except their own desires, Seth wouldn't have minded if they just lounged around for the rest of the day, perhaps breaking out the inner tubes and going for a swim. Although his backside was damp from sitting in the bottom of the kayak, Seth adjusted his front carefully, picking a wedgie away from his dick which had started to lazily shift around at the thought of cuddling in the sun. 

"Grilling tonight sounds good," Roman said, thinking out loud as they crossed the street. "Maybe find a sandbar to anchor down in and relax? A lot of them'll probably be busy I bet, but we could cruise around and see." 

"Barely made a dent in those beers," Dean remarked. "What all did you get from the store?"

"Bunch of ground beef for burgers, veggies. Some fish," Roman said, shifting his backpack higher on his shoulder. "Sound good?"

"Perfect," Seth sighed, walking a little faster. 

The thought of privacy and mid-afternoon fun seemed to be on all of their minds as the three made their way back to the boat and went about undocking quickly. Roman popped out of his shirt and sat luxuriously in the captain's seat with a beer in hand. Dean also pulled his shirt off, tossing it onto the lounge chair that Seth had napped on the previous day. At the back of the boat, Seth grinned, tugging off the tank top he was wearing and exposing his back to the sunshine with a warm shiver. 

"We'll head back toward Largo but we'll see if we can't anchor down somewhere." Roman called loudly so both men could hear him on opposite sides of the boat. They puttered out slowly and Seth wound the tether back inside the craft, feeling thirsty and a little sweaty. 

"Got a little burned," Dean remarked as Seth pulled a water bottle out of the fridge and then frowned, peering over his shoulder. Dean pointed softly, barely tracing over the line where his back had gotten pink from exposure. 

"You too, but mostly on your neck," Seth said, poking Dean back by his ears, Dean grunted.

"I put aloe in the fridge," Roman offered, pointing back to where Seth had just been. "I like some too at the end of the day. Keeps me from getting scaly."

"Good call," Dean hummed, pulling out a beer and the bottle of lotion that was tucked into the refrigerator door compartment. Seth squeaked a little as Dean patted his ass and leaned in slyly.  "You do me, I do you?" he proposed.

They sat at the bow and Roman went slow enough where waves weren't whipping water up into their faces. The position of the sun provided them some shade, heading east, and Seth let his eyelids flutter shut as Dean rubbed his hands around Seth's back in a gentle massage. It was about the same as the time they had gone to Gainesville and ended up in Shawn's basement, but this time, they were a lot less shy and more assured of themselves. Dean hummed a little song and occasionally paused to drink from his beer can, making his hand even more chilly with each successive sip. 

"That good?" Dean asked, putting a fresh glop of aloe lotion over Seth's shoulders. Seth moaned, nodding softly.

"Heavenly," he said, pressed against the chair. His dick was pressing hard on his thigh again letting him know that he could get down to dealing with it as soon as possible. As they swapped out, Seth looked around the water. Roman wasn't hugging the coastline with his drift, but rather giving all the other boats a wide berth as the coastline became slimmer and slimmer. 

"I can rub more of your back if you want," Seth offered, touching lightly and rubbing the lotion in over the nape of Dean's neck, mostly obscured by fuzzy ginger hair. "Unless you absolutely don't want me to."

"'S fine," Dean said softly, trying to push his hair out of the way as he got comfortable, face planted in the seat. Seth poured a line of lotion over his shoulder blades and Dean wiggled from the chill.

"Your hair's getting really red from the sun," Seth remarked fondly, ruffling the long curls with his dry hand. "You'll be a ginger by the time we leave."

"S'long as you still like me," Dean said, rather stiff as Seth began to rub back and forth circular motions with his palm. The boat continued to buffet on through the waves and Roman pointed out a large bird overhead, following their course, perhaps expecting some sort of food.

"If we go snorkeling tomorrow…" Seth began, trying to focus on creating touch that he knew Dean liked. "Would you want to come with us? I don't really know how it works... but it seems like the sort of thing where we'd probably be swimming around for an hour or so."

Dean didn't answer for a moment and Seth thought it might have been easier to ask him the question when he couldn't see his face. 

"I bet it would be really _ fun _ ," Seth suggested, imagining the aspects of it Dean would enjoy. "The place we looked at in Largo is like a state park with coral reefs. Lots of little fish. Plus there's probably a group of people and guides and such. They'd probably even have lookouts for sharks and stuff…"

Dean hummed lowly and Seth ran his hands up and down his spine, pressing just lightly. If Dean didn't want to go, Seth was still determined to do so. There would be plenty more opportunities for them to hang out as a group.

"I'll… I'll go," Dean said, sighing hard and readjusting his head in the pillow so it was easier to be heard. Seth tilted his head, seeing his boyfriend's expression look as mellow and detached as ever. "I'll at least be there and if I don't wanna do it I won't, but I'll sightsee."

"Okay," Seth said, brightening. It was better than nothing. He continued to rub until Dean sat up, apparently tired of the stimulation. But rather than sitting apart completely, Dean cuddled into Seth's lap, laying flat and letting his feet dangle off the side of the chair, legs wide.

"I love you," Seth said, looking down into Dean's face, which was blushing, but probably just from laying flat on the upholstery moment's ago. Dean nodded back and Seth licked his lips, thinking for a moment. "I like that you're trying stuff and letting me touch you and all that. It's really cool."

"Hey thanks," Dean smirked, rubbing his nose and looking a little smug. "I haven't had a cig in like three days now..." he pushed his head up, looking over. "If you're like... trying to congratulate me on stuff."

"Really?" Seth's eyes brightened. "Damn man, that's awesome! You over the hump then? Or?"

"Ehhh kinda," Dean wiggled his hand in a so-so motion. "I still _want_ it. Yesterday I kinda got a headache, but now my throat's just all mucus-y and weird."

"That's still great though," Seth said, leaning down and giving him a kiss on the lips. "Congrats!"

The engine died and both men looked around, wondering what exactly, was going on. Roman hadn't said anything, but he got up from his seat and smiled mischievously, quickly slamming his beer. There weren't any other boats nearby. They were basically alone. 

"So…" Roman said, waltzing to the front of the boat and leaning in the doorframe.

"So," Dean repeated. 

"So," Roman said again, patting his own chest with excitement. "I brought a bunch of  _ toys _ and shit from home…" Seth's ears pricked up and he felt his dick flutter. "I feel like now's as good a time to break 'em out…"

"You don't say," Dean said in a mocking tone, like he was pretending to be bored and annoyed. Seth touched his nipple experimentally and Dean grabbed the hand with a snap. 

"I found some party pack thing too at the bottom of my chest," Roman said, striding over and standing between the two. "It's probably cheesy as hell, but I figured we could play with it if you wanted…"

"Can we fuck on the roof?" Dean asked, giggling as Roman playfully smacked his thigh. Through his swim trunks, Seth could see his dick was similarly eager to begin, hovering at eye level. Instinctively, Seth hovered his face toward it, looking up to his boyfriend sweetly.

"Can you fuck me?" he asked, looking to Roman and Dean. "You owe me one-" he pointed to Roman, "But I want you to go first." He pointed to Dean and Dean nodded, sitting up and excited.

"Not on the roof though," Roman grunted, walking back inside. "Out here maybe, but not up top."

Dean finished his beer and Seth undressed fully, grinning with his entire body naked to the ocean breeze, giving his dick a few tugs to the sight of paradise before him. He felt decadent and rich, jerking off on the dock of a houseboat with Roman and Dean shuffling around, getting naked as well. They could probably yell all they wanted, nobody was really going to hear them unless they passed right by. From the bedroom, he could hear Roman opening up his bag and Seth wandered inside, wondering what exactly his boyfriend could have packed. 

"I got my arm binder," he explained, prodding the straps of leather that were sitting on the bed. "It's fitted for me, but it'd probably fit you fine too if you wanted to try it."

"What's it do?" Seth asked curiously, Roman stood up and showed him how exactly it looped around his ribs and strapped his arms together in the back, more or less immobilizing him from the waist up. Dean came in and sighed, apparently very pleased with both Roman's and Seth's asses on full display in front of him. 

"But what's the party pack though?" Seth asked, picking up the box and leaning into Roman so they were practically embracing, skin on skin. He could feel his boyfriend's breath and his steady heartbeat, pounding warm in his chest. 

"Looks like…" Roman opened the box in Seth's hands and began fishing out the contents. On the whole, the box looked a little cheap and beaten up, probably some gift that had been sitting in the wicker chest of sex toys for a little too long. Some expired condoms tumbled to the floor with a pair of fuzzy pink handcuffs and a dried up bottle of body chocolate. 

"Some party," Dean laughed, coughing a little into his elbow. His face lit up though as Roman pulled out a pair of lacy glove and a pink G-string type thong. 

"Maybe not much," Roman laughed, blushing a little. "I brought some of those anal trainers and cock rings though, I just don't want them to get ocean water on them since they're a little nicer."

"Gimme the panties," Dean demanded, reaching his hands out and looking devilish. Seth snorted as Dean inspected the little folded material and Roman raised an eyebrow. 

"You like girly underwear?" he asked, clearly amused. Dean blushed, looking too pleased to be entirely embarrassed. 

"It's hot as  _ fuck _ ," he conceded, putting the lace to Seth's thigh as though he was color matching. "Can I fuck you with'em on?"

"Oh these are  _ mine _ now?" Seth laughed, tentatively accepting the little strip of fabric and blushing. He certainly didn't have anything against it, but he wasn't sure that it really got his rocks off. "If it'll even fit."

"Fuck yeah," Dean chanted, watching Seth try to fit his legs through the fabric. Roman laughed, smoothing Seth's back with his hand. "Who wants a shot? I want a fuckin' shot."

"Oh lord," Seth sighed, easing the panties up over his crotch. He thought he looked rather ridiculous, his cock pushing the pink lace away in a very obvious tent while his whole ass fell out the sides. In all his life, Seth hadn't worn a thong before, and while he couldn't really feel the flossy strand between his cheeks, he wondered how Dean would be able to fuck him with the panties in place. 

"I'll take a shot," Roman said, passing by Seth and making his way to the kitchen. Seth followed, sure that he was going to take a shot at some point that week. Dean poured tequila into the bottom of three red cups and then opened the mixer to pull from as a chaser. 

"Here's to…" Seth raised his glass, feeling foolish wearing just the panties. "...Hoping this won't upset my stomach when you rearrange my ass."

"Heh, yeah," Dean said, tipping his glass to Seth's. "To panty fuckin'."

"And god bless... the children in Africa," Roman chimed in, making them all snort. "Amen."

They all threw back their glasses and Seth sprang for the chaser first, quickly trying to dump some liquid into his mouth to avoid the protests of his throat. He handed it to Roman second and Dean took the last swig, shaking his head and making a happy noise. As soon as they set their glasses down, Dean pushed himself at Seth, apparently too excited to wait. 

"Mind the knee,  _ the knee _ ," Seth urged him as Dean laid his whole weight into his chest, springing back a little on his tip toes as he realized his fault. Roman butt in, picking Dean up around his narrow waist and taking him into the bedroom to toss down in a heap. Seth smirked, but not before Roman chased after him around the boat naked, dick swinging to the side, bellowing excitedly. 

Nobody heard them but the seagulls, circling overhead. 


	17. Shield Key [Part: 3]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 3 of 5

Rather than settling down for the night in a harbor, the three ended up tossing down anchor in the midst of the noisy sandbar party. It was just about twenty minutes away from where the boat had floated after the three had fucked each other sweaty, and Roman and Seth were eager enough to get off the ship and take a dip in the water.

"Y'all can do you," Dean mumbled, nearly slipping on the hardwood floor as he tossed himself into the shower, moaning softly. Seth stood with Roman, naked in the kitchen, taking another shot and slumping against one another in a sort of post-coital haze. Seth's whole lower body was still adjusting to standing and he hadn't been so thoroughly fucked in what felt like months, certainly before his injury. There was something about the thought of floating around in the ocean that made his orgasm blind him senseless. But then, the tequila had probably helped some too. 

"You gunna be good to drive?" Seth asked, watching Roman grimace at the taste of liquor in his mouth. He nodded quickly, patting Seth on the back and standing up to his full height.

"Yeah yeah," he muttered, setting down the bottle lightly and kissing Seth on the forehead. "You gunna be good to help anchor?"

Anchoring without a dock  _ required  _ that Dean hopped in the shallows, and he clearly didn't love it, but the tequila seemed to help with his fears as well. Islamorada's eastern-most sandbar was awash with spring breakers, all playing music from their own houseboats and speedboats. Men and women were swimming, paddle boarding and kayaking in the wide lanes created by the parked boats, and music was playing almost everywhere as several ships were hosting large events with people dancing on the rooftops. 

"There are some hefty ladies twerking back there!" Dean yelled, running through the water which was about chest heighth where they had parked. Seth had had to ease himself down slowly into the water, sure that he didn't want to land funny and jar his leg. Roman had hopped in as well, running with the third anchor that completed the last corner of the triangle they'd managed to construct. Without pause, he lowered his head under, pushing back a long length of dark hair and wiping his goatee quickly. 

"She'll prolly float around a little, but we ain' gotta pay to be here tonight," he said, hopping back into the boat as well. Seth followed after, doing a modified breaststroke and looking around to the party on all sides of them. 

"We  _ really _ wanna be here all night?" he asked, surveying a drunk couple who were screaming about one of their phones falling in the water. "Can't imagine we'll be able to sleep,"

"We'll find a way," Dean said loudly, pulling a towel over his shoulders and dance walking his way back into the cabin. Roman snickered, giving Seth's backside a little pinch. 

"You feel okay downstairs?" he asked, giving Seth a serious look. "Didn't want the salt water to burn you."

"Mm good…" Seth said, blushing lightly and patting his own rear. "Still a lotta lube down there anyway..."

They broke the inner tubes out for a few hours and played a bit of their own music as well. As per Dean's request, Jimmy Buffet played off of their bluetooth speaker, stationed at the stern of the boat. Roman tied his tube to a short length of rope attached to the back, and floated to and fro in large circles with a drink in his lap. Meanwhile. Dean did a lap of the ships and apparently found a place to smoke a joint and get free jello shots. Seth just charged his phone and lit up the grill, hardly extroverted enough to party with such strangers. 

Sasha and Bayley had texted him a few more pictures of Kevin, but Seth's cellphone service was too spotty to properly respond. He left his cell phone charging in the bedroom next to Roman's, thinking he could maybe give them a call the next day when he had some coverage. Around sunset, Roman put meat on the grill and the three ate on the roof, looking out over the rows of ships and pushing the seats together so that they could be just a little bit closer. 

"I'm gunna go out a little longer," Dean said, dusting his hands off on his swim trunks as soon as he finished his meal. 

"Make sure you got your keys," Roman reminded him, "I'm gunna lock up at some point."

"I'll clip it to my trunks," Dean laughed, nearly tripping on the steps. "Like… I'm a kid at the pool…"

"You are a kid at the pool," Seth snorted, licking some juice from his burger off his finger and tasting sea salt. He felt very sleepy and light again, a mixture of alcohol and the long day. That night, he and Roman took the bed again, but only after setting up the couch for Dean, should he want to use it. 

"You think he'll be okay? He doesn't have his phone." Roman said, looking out to the bow and setting his jaw carefully. Seth hummed, tossing on a light sleep shirt and sighing hard. 

"He's Dean," Seth said "I'd imagine he wouldn't want to get eaten by sharks, he'll come home eventually."

* * *

Tuesday dawned over the water and many of the boats left as early as possible, leaving large holes in the rows of ships that had lined up like houses on a neighborhood block. Seth woke first, nursing a light headache from the previous day's drinking that tickled behind his temples. Roman continued to snore loudly and Seth shuffled into the kitchen space where the leftovers from yesterday's grilling were stored in the fridge. Dean had returned at some time during the night, passing out on the couch naked, his swim trunks crumpled in a damp heap by the side of the pullout.

Thinking of enjoying some time to himself, Seth nibbled on leftovers from their supper outside on the bow. He chewed slowly, watching the boats and people shuffle through the water, making their way out. The sun was already high in the sky and birds were circling overhead and calling loudly to one another, gliding over water that looked incredibly light and clear. Though he was a little absent minded and foggy from a dull hangover, Seth sort of enjoyed the simplicity of sitting and listening to the little ripples and movements of the water around him. His hair hung in dirty locks around his face and his beard was getting over long, hanging onto the salt of the sea water. On his wrists, his sea bands were still pressing on his nerves, slightly sweaty from the close contact. For a few minutes, he imagined a scenario where he lived on the water permanently, growing his beard out long and living like some sort of timeless hermit on the ocean.

His head crackled slightly with a burgeoning headache, reminding him that he really ought to drink some water. Just as he returned inside, Roman was shuffling around the kitchen, apparently of the same mindset. Both men hummed, skirting around each other to grab one of the cups from the cupboard before pouring some water from the tap, sipping quietly.

"Are we snorkelin' today?" Roman grunted after finishing his glass and leaning on the kitchen counter. Seth grinned, nodding as his boyfriend went to turn the blower on to prime the engine. Dean didn't fully wake as they went out to pull in the anchors, but as they started the boat, he sat up, looking sleepy and warm. 

"Fun night?" Seth asked, toweling off his legs. Dean nodded, rubbing his eyes and blinking a few times. 

"Did a kegstand. Nothin' too crazy," he yawned. Roman snorted, looking through the window to make sure they weren't in any danger of smacking into someone. "We gettin' breakfast somewhere?"

"I just ate leftovers," Seth said, though privately thinking he could get a cup of coffee. "You want me to heat you up some?"

Dean allowed himself to be fed and Seth went to reheat himself some seconds as well, sticking a few burger patties onto a baking sheet and turning on the oven. Nobody really said much as they began to head east again, cruising up to Largo where they could do some snorkeling for the afternoon. Checking his phone for the time, Seth was surprised to find it was only ten o'clock, sure that it was much later from the sun. His internal clock felt a little disoriented from all the time he'd been able to spend outdoors, and Seth was sure the sun was part of why he felt so lazy and sleepy. When he'd worked outside on the lake in Iowa during the summer time, he'd almost always felt bone-tired after a full day of lifeguarding. 

"This place is really cool," Roman explained as they began making their way into Key Largo again. "We used to go to this state park a lot, me and my family. They've got a statue down in the reef of Jesus that looks kind of like that Brazilian one, you know what I'm talkin' about?"

"Christ the redeemer?" Seth chuckled, holding out his arms, imitating the sculpture.

"Yeah, that one." Roman nodded. "So like every couple of years, my mom would ask us if we wanted to go snorkel and see Jesus. It is pretty cool, even if you don't give a rip about god or anything, it's a cool thing underwater."

"I'm down, I'm into it," Seth said, finishing his second glass of water. "Can I drive for a bit? I wanna try docking this thing..."

Roman gave up controls of the boat to get some food and Seth sat comfortably in the chair, trying out different speeds and cruising along. Occassionally, he'd flick his eyes over to the pull out couch where Dean was sitting and eating quietly. Although he was probably hungover and tired, Seth thought he seemed to be more anxious than normal, picking at his nails and biting his lips hard. No brilliant or reassuring affirmations were coming to the forefront of Seth's mind though, and he continued to drive, wondering exactly how the day was supposed to go. If he and Roman and had a wonderful experience and Dean couldn't partake, Seth wasn't sure how to act out his own enjoyment. He supposed it wouldn't be so bad if Dean found something similarly interesting to occupy himself with, but more than anything, Seth just wished Dean would have  _ told  _ them about his fears when they'd been discussing what they wanted to do during the trip.

"Do they have jet skies at this place?" Seth asked Roman inquisitively, sure that Dean would have a great time if he was allowed his choice of water activities. Roman shut the fridge, staring back over his shoulder.

"Nah, not at Pennekamp, most of the place is a sort of nature preserve so there are more speed limits and advisories about what stuff you can do. I guess a lot of people were jacking coral out of the reef for decades and so a lot of what they're doin' down there is regrowing the habitats and stuff." Roman chewed his burger for a moment, looking thoughtful. "Weren't we gonna do that another day anyway?"

"Yeah but..." Seth looked at Dean, feeling his face heat up. "Just want to make sure we all have fun here…"

Roman hovered over and Seth's eyes darted back to the ocean, blue and vast through the window in front of him. Dean sighed, and Seth felt the back of his neck prickle strangely. He didn't want Dean to feel like he was  _ picked _ on, much the opposite. 

"You're still comin', right man?" Roman asked, sitting down on the pull out couch. "It's cool! If anythin', it's nice to see the view away from land for a bit. We'll drive out to the spot with a bunch of other people and if you still don't want to go in the water, no harm."

"I'm fine here," Dean said passively, almost resigned. "Don' need to waste the money…"

"Well it would be a waste of money if you just drove the boat around nowhere and used up gas," Roman countered, laughing lightly. "You can bring the cameras and take photos, yeah?"

Seth didn't say anything, privately in agreement that Dean should come and at least try to be included. Thinking about the positives of the situation, it was  _ totally _ the sort of thing Dean would enjoy. It was outside, there were animals to be observed and there was something physical to it. Dean was a fine swimmer. Seth imagined what a reef with a giant shark proof net around it might look like, but he wasn't sure if such a thing could really exist in practice. Yesterday, his boyfriend had agreed to go, going back on that now felt troubling.

"Dean, if you come I swear on my honor I  _ won't _ toss you off the boat," Seth joked, trying to lighten the mood a little as he wasn't really sure what Dean was thinking. Roman's tone was mostly light, but the lack of conversation felt a little strained, making the boat seem extra loud. Dean snorted and Seth glanced over at his boyfriends, both sitting on the pull out couch. 

"Aight..." Dean said, clearly a little anxious. "I'll go. But don't get all excited or anything..." 

Just as Roman had described, markers for no wake zones began to pop up all along the coast line, passing the shoreline of Key Largo they had docked in previously. Other boats passed by and Seth began to feel a little overwhelmed with adhering to all the specific guidelines for traffic. Roman took the wheel, and Seth slipped into a clean pair of trunks, testing his knee lightly on the hardwood floor. His joint felt surprisingly mobile, and he took it as a good sign that the snorkel trip wouldn't have him icing for too long afterword.

He managed to dock the boat alright after Roman spotted an appropriate point of landing, reversing the stern inwards while Dean took the bow to catch the wooden post. Through the window, Seth could still see his boyfriend looked quiet and sort of anxious, but in true Dean fashion, he wouldn't fuss. All three men put on their bathing suits and went to get lunch at an Arby's that looked more convenient than appetizing. Through cups of soda and roast beef sandwiches, Roman regaled them with stories from his own family vacations while Dean nodded along and became consumed with his phone. 

Walking to the gate of the state park, just a short jaunt up the road, Dean began playing something on his phone for a few minutes and Seth glanced over his shoulder, curiously. It wasn't until they heard some sort of muffled screaming noise that both he and Roman turned their heads, demanding an explanation.

"This dude almost got eaten when he was wearing a go-pro," Dean mumbled, turning his phone around to show them a horrifying video account of a spear fisher screaming and clutching his leg, pooling blood as a shark circled, confused. Seth looked away, disgusted, but Roman made an exasperated sound.

"Stop that! Why are you even watching that?" he said, pushing Dean's phone to his chest while the speaker still rattled with a tinny scream. "You know you're just freakin' yourself out, right?"

"I'm not freakin' out," Dean said, looking back at the screen and stumbling a little as he fumbled with the device. "This other one, this guy jumps in the water and he basically lands on a Great White."

"Dude, I don't wanna hear that," Seth whined, his heart picking up uncomfortably at the thought of a nightmare fish waiting just below the surface. Dean didn't seem particularly troubled either way, just mindlessly walking after his boyfriends, distracted.

"Just so you guys know what you're gettin' into." Dean said, shrugging his shoulders. Roman looked upset, furrowing his brow as they approached the gate to Pennekamp.

"Look man, there aren't Great Whites just chilling out at this reef. I've gone here all my life, so chill out. God forbid a shark does show up, it's going to just circle and swim away because sharks don't eat people, okay?" He lowered his voice as a family came biking down the path, looking at them a little strangely. "We're snorkeling, not hunting,  _ definitely _ not surfing. It's not gonna confuse us for  _ shit _ . If you play that shit on the boat where there's little kids around, I'm chuckin' your phone in the ocean."

"Fair enough," Dean sighed, still looking at the open sea rather morbidly as they began making their way across a hot parking lot, past short, wide palms that spilled across the sidewalks. Seth didn't really know what to say, walking in between his boyfriends as a sort of buffer for their separate energies. Seth wasn't particularly scared of sharks, but he definitely didn't want to watch shark attack videos before he hopped in the water. With the way Dean was acting, Seth wondered if he wasn't subtly trying to get his boyfriend's to back out of their trip, just so he wouldn't have to deal with the awkwardness of admitting his fear.

All in all, it was pretty confusing.   
  


"Three?" The woman at the front office asking, surveying their small group and punching numbers into an old cash register that had to be at least twenty years old. "There's a charter leaving in ten minutes, you'll just need fins, masks, and a snorkel, those are required for all swimmers."

"We just need to rent fins," Roman said, holding up the dry snorkels and masks he'd brought from home. The woman pressed a few more buttons and a receipt began to print loudly from the machine.

"These are your proofs, you'll just need to show those to the first mate," She said, sliding the receipt back. "Remember to bring it back if you want the deposit for the gear returned."

They walked back outside and Seth frowned, watching Dean holding onto the mask and snorkel loosely in one hand. Roman started texting on his phone as they waited in line for fins behind a few other couples, leaving a strained silence. Swallowing, Seth moved closer to Dean, covertly squeezing his hand with a short little pinch.

_ I love you _ he mouthed, feeling stupid as Dean looked over, giving him a short nod. "You gunna… get fins?"

"Think I'm required just to get on the boat," Dean mumbled, eyeing the ship carefully. The first mate was already on the dock, wearing a polo shirt and shorts, directing traffic. It was just a short walk down to the marina, through a little garden and a gazebo. Seth nodded, biting his lip.

They took a little longer to be accommodated because of Roman's exceptionally large feet, but the three made it onto the boat just as inflatable lifejackets were being passed around. The crew was walking amongst the small group of tourists, explaining the rules as the boat began it's slow journey away from the shore. Seth shivered slightly, pulling the inflated preserver over his neck and moving his bun so it was more comfortable. Most of the people on the boat where around their age, perhaps more conservative spring breakers that wanted to see some of the natural attractions that Keys had to offer. At the other end of the ship, Seth actually spotted two young men that looked to be a couple, sitting close and smiling to each other. 

"We would ask that you please sit for the duration of the ride and keep your life preserver on at all times. Even if you are a strong swimmer, weather conditions may change quickly and it is imperative that we are able to locate you if we need to leave quickly…"

"How far is the ride out?" Seth mouthed to Roman, looking over his sunglasses. Roman turned, mouthing  _ 45 minutes _ under his breath. Dean just sat with his fins on his lap, picking at his chest hair and watching the water pass by. He was ashamed to admit it, but part of Seth  _ did _ want to shove Dean in the water, just to show him it wasn't a big deal. But he was sure he only felt as such because Dean's cocky facade of coolness was so confusing and aggravating. Out of all the things that his boyfriend did that frustrated him, Dean's inability to communicate was probably the most troublesome. However, with a little sigh, Seth reminded himself that Dean _ had _ gotten a lot better in just the short amount of time they'd been dating. These things took a lot of time, and Seth was sure that he wasn't a picture of great communication skills either. As the coastline shrank and finally disappeared completely, he tried his best to stay positive and upbeat. 

"What do you want to eat for dinner later?" Seth asked Dean, bumping his shaky knee with his knuckle to gather his attention. Dean just sighed, looking unbothered. 

"Whatever, I don't care," he said, cracking his knuckles for a third time. "I'd just finish off the leftovers."

Seth slumped back in his seat, feeling his enthusiasm deflate. Instead of trying to initiate conversation, he began to sink into his phone, smiling fondly at a few more pictures Sasha had sent of Kevin and the chickens. That morning, the girls had apparently taken the dog to the dog park and Sasha sent him a photo of Kevin and Bayley, snuggled up together in the back of her car.

**Having a blast** Seth noted, trying to send the text before he realized he was still out of range. 

"You havin' fun?" Roman asked, leaning toward Seth and giving him a little nudge to the ribs, playful but not overly involved. Seth straightened up, nodding quickly.

"Yeah, definitely," he said, smiling as Roman gave him a sweet grin. "It's all… a little overwhelming sometimes."

"I forget you guys are from the midwest," Roman said, looking out on the water fondly. "I feel like I gotta get on the water once a year, or else I get a bit crazy."

"Do your parent's own any boats or anything?" Seth asked, setting down his phone and giving Roman his full attention. "Or do they just rent them?"

"I think they had one or two before I was born, but at some point they sold them. I think between work and all us kids he couldn't get out as much, plus you gotta maintain 'em and all. For time off, my Dad'd just take his friend's boats or rent them."

Seth listened to Roman continue talking about his family vacations, sinking into a sleepy little haze with the sun warming the back of his head. As the warm, salty breeze washed over the boat, Seth felt his muscles relaxing, letting go of all the tension in his frame. The ocean just looked so wide and boundless, there really wasn't much indication of where they were going or how long anything was taking. All he wanted to do was lean into Roman and take a little nap until they were at the reef, but before Seth could ponder what might happen if someone on the boat was a bigoted extrovert, a bell clanged and the engine slowed. 

"We're going to sound a horn when it's time to come in. We'll have about an hour for you to stay within the markers-" the first mate reminded them, pointing to a ring of little buoys that circled the boat. Seth sat up fast and everyone in the boat began to eagerly locate their masks and fins, preparing to disembark. A ladder was lowered and just as he fixed his hair more tightly to his head, Seth began to hear people at the back of the ship jumping in the water and laughing. 

"Alright," Dean mumbled, standing up as Roman got his feet into his flippers. "Don't y'all look special?" He began taking photos with the camera indiscriminately and Seth frowned, feeling uncomfortable.

"We should take one with you in it," he mumbled, blushing a little and looking around. "You gunna be okay… for an hour?" 

"I woulda been fine biking around the Largo, but I'll be fine anywhere," Dean said stiffly. Seth could hear Roman exhale, slightly annoyed. Quickly, they snagged the first mate as they came by and he agreed to take their photo, standing still and slightly awkward in the shade of the boat's awning. Seth hoped whatever conflict was going on between them didn't show on their faces, reminded of their similarly awkward Christmas photo the three had taken with Roman's family. Once again, Seth felt as though Dean was excluded, and just like last time, Dean didn't say anything. He plopped down in the seat with their towels as soon as the photo was over and began staring at his phone intently. 

"I'll come back up…" Seth said stupidly, already regretting his words as most of the people had already jumped in the water. Dean just shrugged, jiggling his leg again. "If it's lame… I'll chill with you..."

Seth knew it definitely  _ wouldn't  _ be lame, but walking to the back of the boat with Roman to start snorkeling made his chest pinch with anxiety. He definitely wanted to explore and do what he'd been dreaming of for the last month, but he didn't want the rest of the trip to be weird because of this hiccup in their day.  _ Why had they insisted Dean come if he was just going to sit on the boat? Wouldn't they all be happier if Dean had just stayed behind and done what he'd wanted to do? _

"If you want to be with him, it's okay," Roman said as they stood at the back of the boat, attaching the snorkels to their masks. Seth actually choked on a strange laugh, shaking his head.

"Just… wish he would try it is all, I dunno," he sighed, snagging the mask on his bun. Roman immediately helped him, pulling his hair through the rubber strap. "I am having fun though, sorry. I do really appreciate all this."

"It's fine, I get it," Roman said, half smiling and poking the pocket on his own swim suit. "I got the camera, but you can go wherever you want."

Steeling himself and feeling his heart begin to race. Seth watched Roman jump in before he did so, making a similarly large splash as he sank beneath the surface a few feet, bubbles floating all around his body as he pushed air through the snorkel. The water was warm and his skin tingled, slightly bluish green as he looked through the mask. Beneath him, perhaps fifteen feet down, was a long stretch of green seaweed. Little fish were floating amongst the leaves, but there was no coral. Confused, Seth looked to where Roman had just been on his right, watching his boyfriend swimming away from where the ship had docked. His eyes widened and he let out a soft  _ Ooh _ through his snorkel. 

The seaweed dipped into a little valley of sand, but in the distance, Seth could see the outline of corals, melded together and intertwined with other plants and growths. He came up for air a few times, kicking hard and strong to match Roman's pace and feeling the effort work his thighs. His mouth was salty and he hummed in annoyance as he reached back and found that his hair tie seemed to have broken. Brown and blond tendrils hung around his face, and Seth shoved them back as he kicked harder coming closer into view of the reef. Roman turned in the water and Seth was sure he was grinning against his long black snorkel, nobody was close or really paying attention so Seth hovered over him, knocking their masks together and letting out a string of air bubbles as Roman tickled his chest. 

"This is it- right here-" Roman said breathlessly as they crested the surface, popping his snorkel out of his mouth for a moment to spit out some ocean water. 

"Can I… get the camera?" He asked, nodding back. Roman dug the little waterproof disposable from his pocket and handed it over before taking a huge breath and going under again, fighting against his inflatable life jacket to sink and see the reef. Seth followed, coming alongside him. 

The lifejacket was frustrating, even if Seth knew why he needed it, but the most obnoxious thing was just his own body's capacity to exist on a single breath of air. As they came over the first large bundle of the coral reef, Seth was dazzled by the color and variety of everything around him. Corals that looked like rocks, patterned with fuzz growing off of them in mossy reds and green. Plants with long leaves that dazzled yellow and green in the reflected sunlight above the water. Most of what he was seeing, Seth had no idea what it was called or it did for the reef. The diversity of it all was stunning, seeing so much life overlapping like a dense city. For the twenty to thirty seconds Seth could look on a single breath, he floated with the current, struggling to make sure he didn't bump into anything as they were expressly forbidden to disturb the coral. He tried to keep close to the surface so he wouldn't have to go far for air, but everything was so incredible Seth required an extra look, diving down and seeing everything he could.  

Down, deep in the little nooks and crannies of the rocks and plants, tiny fish were swimming around in just about every color imaginable. Some were patterned to look like their surroundings, floating lazily, while others shifted away from him as he approached, flashing different colors on each side. Larger fish swam in groups, likely used to such attention from tourists, they seemed indifferent to the act of Seth following behind them, taking their photos. As he came up for air, he looked around for Roman like an excited child, unable to really describe the wonder he was feeling. 

"It's insane!" he yelled, wiping his mouth and beard to keep water away from it. "Just wild!"

Diving down again, Seth couldn't help laughing through his snorkel, looking at the surreal display just beneath the surface. It was one thing to go to an aquarium, face close to the glass, not really sure how close or far you were because of the distortion of the view. Up close and arms reach away from the fish and the shells, the broken corals and starfish in the sand, everything was swaying in time with the ocean, shifting back and forth like it was waving to his eyes.

Seth circled the reef with Roman, always within a few breaths of distance, spotting the statue of Jesus and several breathtakingly huge corals that Seth had to guess were probably several times his own age. His marine biology knowledge wasn't great, but Seth saw what he thought was a stingray, sitting in the sand on the edge of the reef, kicking up sand. Among the rocks, he thought he spotted an eel as well, sliding through the outcrops, green and thick. A rather large fish stopped him dead in his tracks, heart racing fast as he watched it carefully. 

"It's a barracuda," Roman explained at the surface. Seth nodded, returning the camera after taking a few photos. He wasn't sure of the time, but he knew he wanted to explore more and lap the area of a few times before they had to pull in. Everyone in the group was mostly doing the same thing, surfacing, looking around, pointing out specific fish or corals to their friends. In the distance, the boat sat, bouncing a little on the slight waves. 

"Dean would fucking  _ love  _ this," Seth said, mostly to himself as Roman dove down again, his long hair flowing behind his back, looking sexy and tantalizing beneath the water. Seth wiped his mouth and beard again, thinking about how fortunate he was to even be out there, enjoying himself fully. He didn't want to offend Roman by leaving to sit with Dean, and he really wanted to keep snorkeling. But Seth was sure that if Dean just  _ knew _ what he was missing, he'd be inclined to participate. 

Swimming as fast as he could manage with the lifejacket, Seth kicked his way back to the boat, fins flapping long behind him as he left the reef behind, travelling back over the sand bar and into the leafy area where the boat had docked. A few people had similar ideas, perhaps already tired from swimming. Loitering by the ladder for a moment to wait his turn, Seth pushed his mask up and wiped his eyes before climbing back onto the boat. 

Dean was just lying on the bench where they left him, sunglasses over his face, looking almost as though he was asleep. Seth knew he wasn't by his rigid body posture, and he slipped out of his fins to walk over to where he was laying with their towels. Wordlessly, Seth dried off a little and sat by his boyfriend, feeling more tense than when he'd seen the barracuda.

"Dean," he managed, sure that his boyfriend knew that he was there. For a few moments, he didn't say anything and Seth's heart plummeted, wondering if his boyfriend was really mad about something. "Babe, it's really cool down there. You  _ sure  _ you don't wanna try?" 

"Mmm?" Dean said, faking coming awake and sitting up. Seth frowned. 

"The reef is crazy," Seth reiterated, wiping off his face and looking to Dean pleadingly. "It's really cool and there isn't anything freaky out there. I feel weird being there with Uce and not you."

"You didn't think this was gunna happen?" Dean asked, low and quiet. Seth sighed hard, watching Dean push his hair back, obviously stressed.

"I just… I dunno what I thought, but I think that if you tried it and hated it or just did it for a bit, I'd feel less weird about leaving you here while me and Uce are having fun." Seth explained, trying to be as honest as possible. 

"I would have had fun without you guys," Dean said, a simple statement of fact, but it still cut at Seth in a strange way. 

"Okay… well…" Seth said quietly, trying not to look strange as a family with two preteen girls was getting some kind of snack from their bags on the other side of the boat. "We're here now, I'm sorry if I dragged you here. I dunno… how much more time we got, but do you think you wanna try going out with me again?" Seth asked, his voice lilting. "You can… say no…"

Dean crossed his arms, staring out at where he'd probably watched Seth and Roman swim. Everyone was bobbing up and down ridiculously, surfacing and laughing with excited voices. It hurt Seth to think that he'd probably been sitting here, just hearing them having fun without being included. If his boyfriend refused again, Seth knew he just had to respect that and leave it be once and for all. At their feet, Dean's unused fins, mask and snorkel were sitting, dry and warm. 

"Okay," Dean said, scratching at his chest. Seth blinked.

"Okay like-" Seth's heart pounded hard. "Like… yes or no?"

"Yeah… I'll do it," Dean said, voice sounding unsure and annoyed even as he got the words out. Seth beamed wide, standing up again and tingling with excitement. 

"Awesome man! you'll love it, I swear." Seth offered his hand, but Dean didn't accept it, standing back up to his full height unassisted and picking up his fins, mask and snorkel like they'd offended him.

"Where's Uce anyway?" Dean asked, almost as a distraction as they walked to the back of the boat. Seth placed his own fins back on the ground and slid into them.

"He's still out there, checkin' it out." Seth said. "We can go find him." 

As though to prove his sincerity about the water being safe, Seth jumped in first, keeping his mask pushed up so Dean could see his face. He bobbed in the water off the side of the boat, looking back at Dean, who looked a little ridiculous with the large mask on, pushing up his blond bangs. Despite looking a little lost, Seth thought his boyfriend looked cute, face set and determined to push through his fear.

"It's fine, it's really warm," Seth explained, watching Dean consider the jump for a moment, not unlike Holly from Seth's swim lessons, anxious over the water. "Maybe a little cooler than it was in Islamorada-"

Before he could finish, Dean jumped and Seth grinned, whipping back his head as water splashed around him. His boyfriend surfaced and came closer, legs kicking fast as he nearly grabbed Seth's arm. 

"You're fine!" Seth said, refraining from laughing as he say Dean's eyes were sort of wide and fearful. "Look down! It's really cool!"

Dean didn't say anything, unmoving. Seth grabbed his hand softly under the water and pulled him along, dragging his weight through the water as he kicked them closer to the reef. Anytime Seth went to ease his hands away, Dean held harder, kicking faster, apparently too overwhelmed to say much. Seth glanced underwater to make sure they were going in the right direction and heard Dean exhale hard, actually shaking a little.

"It's fine!" Seth said, becoming fearful only for the fact that he'd never seen Dean so terrified. For a moment, it seemed like he was having a proper panic attack in the water, but with a few more hardy exhales, he let out a sort of suffocated laugh. "It's okay, you're fine," Seth repeated, pulling Dean's other hand in and holding that too.

"Shiiiitttt," Dean laughed nervously, locking his eyes on Seth and breathing hard again. Seth pushed his mask back up and looked to his boyfriend very seriously. 

"Dean, I love you, you're  _ fine _ , okay?" Seth said, trying to be as calm and assuring as possible, rubbing his thumbs over his boyfriend's knuckles, willing him to relax. "Can you look down?"

Slowly, with some assurance from Seth that he would still hold his hands, Dean sunk down and Seth laughed, hearing Dean's muffled voice echo through the snorkel at the surface of the water. He sat up again and Seth nodded, grinning.

"Let's swim over here, okay?"

Gradually, Dean relaxed his iron grip and began swimming properly behind Seth, dipping his face down under the water and looking around with a similar excited interest. Words were difficult, and as they neared the reef, the sheer amount of overwhelming life and color was too distracting to really put into words. But with every second they were in the water, Seth felt more self righteous and proud.  _ Roman _ hadn't gotten Dean to swim,  _ he  _ had, and as Seth watched his boyfriend float by and examine all the seahorses and fish circling around the anemones, his heart melted more and more. For awhile, they just floated along, Dean would point at something excitedly and they'd surface.

"What is that thing?" Dean would demand. Seth shook water out of his ear straining to hear properly. "It was purple?"

They dove down again to check and Dean pointed wildly at a strange looking slug that could be alive or inert, Seth wasn't sure. 

"I have no idea," Seth said as they surfaced again, spitting out salt water. This happened about two more times before Seth just shook his head underwater and shrugged, laughing. 

"I don't know anything! It's just cool!" Seth said, shifting to float on his stomach. He hadn't stopped smiling for like twenty minutes and Dean was grinning hard now too, manic and alive with energy. "Do you want to see where I found the stingray?"

They swam on and circled the area. Dean swam slow, still caught up in the investigation of everything. Seth wished he still had the camera, but as they circled the Jesus statue, Roman came over, looking dumbstruck.

"Look at you! Sea legs!" he teased, coming over to Dean and shaking him a little by the lifejacket. "Did Seth throw you in?"

"Yes," Dean said, blushing. 

"Bullshit, he did it all by himself!" Seth cackled, grabbing onto Dean's arm and holding him tightly. Roman looked awestruck, thumping him on the back and laughing happily. Just as Roman was about to regale them with a story about a turtle, the whoop of the ships alarm rang out and all three men looked over, heart sinking. It was the signal to go in. 

"Are you kidding me?" Seth said defensively.  _ Surely _ , they still had more time. However, the rest of the group began to trickle in, surfacing and slowly making their way back to the boat. 

"We can go slow," Roman said, ruffling Dean's wet hair. "See a couple last things. Hell, we could come back tomorrow if you wanted!"

"Mm, it's cool, you guys saw it all already," Dean snorted, looking underwater again as they started to retreat back to the boat. Seth was actually pissed, wondering why he hadn't had the balls to get Dean in the water sooner. If he'd just pressed his boyfriend more when they were setting out, maybe Dean could have actually seen the reef, rather than just a quarter of it. 

Though, looking at his boyfriend as they boarded the boat, nobody could tell that he'd only gotten a taste of the view. Pulling off his mask, Dean shook his hair wildly like a dog, grinning as Roman patted him on the back and tossed him a towel. 

"I think my favorite was the little tiny guys," Dean said, wiggling his forefinger like a swimming fish. "You see those little ones with the tiny white spots? They were cool."

"The stingray was so cool, I wish you could have seen it!" Seth whined, plopping down and accepting a towel from Roman as well. All the way back, families and couples were trading stories about what they'd seen and the three were no exception. Dean tried to guess the names of fish, horrible at describing them while Seth sat, kicking himself for not acting sooner.

"We should come back tomorrow so you can see it," Seth urged, looking to Dean seriously and scoffing as Dean just shrugged. "You don't know when you'll be down here again! You saw how cool it was!"

"It's cool man, really," Dean said, patting his chest and stomach. "I'm friggin hungry again, I could eat some fish now." 

Roman just looked between the two of them with doughy, happy eyes and Seth kept fussing with his hair until his boyfriend handed him an extra ponytail holder from his wrist. It wasn't until they disembarked, returned their fins and headed for the bathrooms that Roman caught Seth outside while Dean was peeing, looking incredibly grateful.

"Whatever you did-" he said, pulling Seth into a hug, "I love you so much, you're amazing."

"Mm?" Seth mumbled, blushing hard against Roman's shirt. A little boy was staring at them rather obviously, but he didn't move. Roman kissed the top of his head just as Dean came shuffling out of the bathroom, slightly confused.

"We huggin?" He asked lowly, a little embarrassed by the PDA. Roman opened his arms and Dean shuffled in awkwardly. All together, the three smelled like salt water and wet clothes, just a little moldy and sweaty. Seth just enjoyed the moment, feeling the press of Roman's collarbone and Dean's wet hair on his temple. 

"They're hugging!" The little boy said shrilly and Seth snorted hard, pulling away just in time to see the woman looked scandalized by her son's outburst, pulling him aside and shuffling away. Dean looked anxious, but Roman just grinned, looking between his boyfriend's with such affirming adoration that Seth felt butterflies. 

"Should we go back?" he asked, wondering if this was leading up to some spectacular ocean sex. 

"Food first," Dean grunted. Roman agreed and they walked back to the road they'd trekked in on, close together, occasionally loosely grasping fingers.


	18. Shield Key [Part: 4]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 4 of 5

That night, Dean biked to a store in Largo and picked up a big container of potato salad to go with the last of their leftovers from their Islamorada grill night. The Delta Romeo Sierra was parked in the same marina they'd docked in the first night, and Seth took his first real shower of the trip, dipping into Roman's shampoo and conditioner. His bad knee felt a little pinched and as soon as he got out of the shower, Seth knew he was going to plop down on the lounge chair on the bow with an ice pack and a thin blanket. The sun had already half-set in the distance, leaving the sky a beautiful orange with purple streaks while the water rippled and reflected the burning light. The boat next door was playing country music and Seth sighed, staring at the little swirl of sand that had accumulated on the bottom of the shower.

It was hard to believe that they'd only been in the Key's for two full days. Their time had felt so long and well-lit that Seth was surprised, realizing they still had a lot of time to cruise and chill. The snorkeling had taken so much out of him, he had to stifle a yawn as he shut off the water, shuffling out of the shower and trying to dry off under the bath mat before he went to slip into some pajamas. 

"You done?" Roman called as Seth left the bathroom, towel wound around his waist. Dean had apparently returned as the two were sitting outside, eating potato salad and talking quietly.

"All yours," Seth mumbled, walking toward the bedroom to see the last of the sunset disappearing over the horizon, stunning and colorful. He was so sleepy, he sort of wanted to just pass out in a heap with a cold pack over his leg, but his stomach was also annoyingly empty, nagging back. 

For the rest of the evening, the men cycled out of the shower while Seth laid himself out on the couch on the bow, with potato salad in his lap and a cold pack. Water rippled softly beneath him and it wasn't long before he was lulled into a sleepy haze, completely thoughtless and blank. The combination of physical activity and the scenic views were giving him the sort of peace he hadn't been able to entertain for months. Even as night and darkness fell over the boat, Seth stayed still, disinclined to move, even as he felt himself sinking lower and deeper into a zen state. Roman called his sister to talk to her about the trip thus far, walking to the stern for some moderate privacy while Dean showered and shaved. 

"You look real snug," Roman commented after he returned, grinning through the darkness and leaning down to give Seth a kiss on the forehead. "You warm enough? I was just going to ask Dean-o if he wanted the bed tonight."

"M'm good, I'll stay here," Seth yawned, pawing at his chin and resettling himself. Dean came by just a few minutes later, and Seth sleepily insisted that he was comfortable enough where he was, intent to sleep until morning. 

"We'll refuel tomorrow 'n head south," Roman said, smoothing Seth's scalp with his hand and turning off the porch light. "'M gunna leave this door unlocked then, just in case you want the pullout."

Seth was pretty sure he said 'mkay' softly, watching Dean and Roman walk inside for the night and begin to wind down, making their way to the bedroom and talking in low voices. In his dreams, Seth felt as though he was underwater again, miraculously breathing and shifting between corals and plants with a deft, leisurely pace. It had been years since he'd slept outside, but the whole night he never woke, and didn't feel remotely chilly, bundled up in a thick enough blanket to keep him cozy. The boat rocked him all night, and by morning, Seth turned to watch the sunrise through soft eyes, calm and quiet. 

The peace of it all, the slow moving and quiet appreciation of time carried him through the day. Nothing was wrong and his thoughts moved through his head pace at a calm and measured rate. Worries were low and a soft smile was always at his thin lips. It wasn't really a 'happy' or 'slowed down' way of being. Seth just felt open and calm. 

Once again, he woke before Dean and Roman. He didn't bother checking his phone, but Seth was sure it was probably earlier than eight o'clock as he shuffled into a pair of flip flops and hopped onto the dock. He'd remembered Dean describing a cafe just a few blocks away, and he obliged to walk instead of taking the bike his boyfriend had purchased. The day was just as warm and sunny as the one that had preceded it, and Seth smiled and waved to the locals that came jogging down the road, looking tan and cheerful. 

He bought some bagels, cream cheese and coldpress, feeling a little burned out on sugar as he walked back down the street, observing the sunny palms and little convenience stores. An old man and a dog were sitting on patio furniture outside a barber shop, and music was playing from a nail salon on the other side of the street, doors open and inviting. If he wasn't so hungry, Seth might have taken more time to poke around the stores and see what souvenirs he might be inclined to purchase. But instead, he walked back to the boat and came to the stern where he could peer inside the bedroom window. The blinds were up and Seth grinned softly, hearing Roman and Dean snoring within. Roman was half on his side, hair wild around his shoulders while sunlight spotlit the tattoos over his right arm. Dean was sprawled out in his usual madman style, half off the bed and half on. 

He toasted the bagels and brought them to their bed, living for the look of surprise and joy on his boyfriend's faces as they woke and promptly dirtied the bed with cream cheese and crumbs. For awhile, they all just sat, eating the snack and becoming more alive with the help of coffee. According to Roman's calculations, the drive from Key Largo to Key West was supposed to be about three or four hours by boat. So it could be expected that a good majority of their day was to be spent in transit, taking turns behind the wheel and finding ways to kill time.

"Didn't bring any knitting," Dean admitted, strolling to the helm to try his hand at undocking. "Thought'd get wet or something."

"I think there's board games in the closet," Roman snickered, walking to the bow while Seth took the stern. "I could smoke you guys in Risk." 

However, Risk wasn't an option as Dean turned the boat out of the harbor and headed up the South-west shoreline. Seth went to the closet and found Apples to Apples, a very old, beaten up set of Candy Land and a simple chess board with a set of pieces in an old sandwich baggie. Sure that the two former games were a little under their radar for three grown men, Seth picked up the bag of chess pieces, wondering if they were all there. The set looked like it was actually from two different chess sets, a mish-mosh of wooden and plastic pieces. When Roman walked by, Seth held up the bag with a little shrug. 

"Might be fun," he offered. "Loser has to jump in the water?"

"Mm?" Roman grunted, examining the bag. He pursed his lips and Seth blinked, confused. "I uh… I actually haven't really played chess before…"

"For real?" Seth laughed, watching Roman roll his eyes a little. "Not even once?" 

"Summer tried to show me one time, but I always got the pieces confused." Roman admitted, blushing hard. "I'm more of a checkers man myself."

"Dean, you ever play chess?" Seth asked loudly, poking his head around the corner to see Dean at the helm.

"On computers," his boyfriend answered back. "When I was a kid."

Without anything better to do, Seth decided to teach Roman chess for the morning, setting up the board on the little kitchen table inside. They were near enough to the helm where Dean could watch and Roman could keep checking on their destination as they sailed along. The plan was the refuel in Shield Key before making their way towards Key West, but they were still coming across plenty of no wake zones that meant Dean had to slow down and ease his way along the coast. Roman, who was usually more accustomed to being the teacher than the student, politely sat at attention as Seth held up the pieces and tried to explain them as best as he could. 

"You in chess club as a kid or something?" Roman asked with a smirk. Seth shook his head, holding up his own black castle. 

"I'm no Bobby Fisher, but I liked playing it," Seth said, shifting the sea band on his wrist a little. "My grandpa taught me when I was a kid and I was always trying to get my mom and brother to play with me, but then they'd yell at me when I tried to cheat." 

Roman laughed and Seth blushed, still holding up the castle, trying to finish his thought. "Castles are always on the outside corners, then the knights go in, bishops, and the king and queen."

"I dunno if I can trust you, maybe you'll cheat on me." Roman laughed, his face pinched, suddenly realizing how awkward the sentence sounded in reference to Seth's previous tumultuous relationship issues. "Well, not… like that…"

"It's fine," Seth said quickly, looking down at the board, primed to begin. "White actually goes first… so… you can go."

Dean played some Johnny Cash on the blue tooth speaker and the first game was rather slow moving and stilted as Roman asked a lot of questions that gave away his thinking. Seth moved quickly, and Dean watched, looking over Roman's shoulder and making affirmative grunts and mumblings as most of Roman's pawns fell to Seth's knight. A small heap of white pieces began to be stack up at Seth's wrists and Roman sat with his head in his hand, moving his fingers around the board as a means to think through his moves while Seth watched, smiling innocently. 

"If I'm in check, you have to tell me, right?" Roman asked, sighing and putting his forefinger on his queen, thinking hard. Seth nodded. 

"I wanna play next game," Dean said, jiggling his foot to the rhythm of  _ Understand Your Man. _

"You can play me," Seth said, watching the board intently. "Once I win."

It wasn't a very eventful game, and as Seth picked off Roman's last pieces, his boyfriend's attention seemed to wane substantially. Dutifully, Seth called check with each shift of his king, rotating back and forth as Seth's castle, knight and bishop all cornered the little white piece. Losing the fun, Roman sat for awhile, looking at his phone to make sure they were closing in on Shield Key and answering texts from what Seth assumed was his sister. 

"I think…" Seth mumbled thinking up a lie and tilting his chin. Roman could still oscillate between moving across the back of the board, but really Seth had won the game once he'd taken his boyfriend's queen. "Yeah, checkmate."

"Good game," Roman muttered respectfully, tipping over his own pieces and standing up. "Too good, you've officially retired me."

"You gotta jump in," Seth said with a sneer, pointing to the swimming platform out back. Roman clicked his teeth and groaned. 

"I don't remember agreeing to that," he said, coming to Dean's side and putting his hand on the seat. "You wanna play? We're about there. I'll do all the refueling after y'all help me dock it."

Dean sat up and Seth went to grab a glass of water, feeling emboldened by the little win. As much as Seth would have liked to play to completion and feel like he'd wholly earned it, it was enough of a giveaway that Roman didn't care enough to investigate his loss. Privately, Seth was sure he could beat Dean easily. The game was probably a little over his head.

"We can play once we're back out if you want," Seth said to Dean as he returned to the table. "And now that you're a gold-star ocean swimmer, you  _ gotta _ jump in when I beat you." 

"When you _ beat  _ me?" Dean said casually, kicking his feet up on the chair. Roman snorted. "When  _ you _ beat  _ me _ ?" 

"You know that I'm still insanely proud of you from yesterday, right?" Roman said to Dean, kicking the boat up a little faster as they left the no-wake zone. "I'm really glad you decided to do that."

"Yeah definitely," Seth agreed as he set up the game board again, favoring the black pieces. "Was it as scary as you thought?"

"Wasn't scary at all," Dean said, shrugging his shoulders and looking uncomfortable. "It's not like I actually thought a shark was gunna get me… it's just… I've never really swam in the ocean like that… never really been on a boat like this or anything…" He picked at his chin. That morning, he'd shaved away most of his beard and he looked a lot rounder faced and younger. "So much new stuff. How much new stuff can a guy see in a day? In some island paradise place. It's nuts."

"Well, you did great." Seth agreed. "It is kinda overwhelming and relaxing at the same time."

"I always feel like I need like… some time, you know?" Dean said, scratching at his head and leaning back in his chair. "Whenever I'm some place new I gotta like figure out what all the smells are and whatever."

They slowed down as they snuck underneath the overseas highway bridge, coming out on the other side to cruise into the rental spot where they'd started their journey. Nearly experts by now, Seth and Dean went to their positions and made quick work of tying the craft down while Roman came out onto the dock. The three dogs that had been sitting out in the sun when they'd arrived were still in their exact same spots, looking sleepy and slow. 

"Just be a quick sec, if you guys want snacks from the place, they got some," Roman said, slipping on his sunglasses and walking off to the shack where he could pick up a gas can. Seth and Dean shrugged, but decided to see what was offered for food anyway. The rental shop was a little like a high end gas station, mostly selling chilled beer and wine, but Seth grabbed a bag of beef jerky that wasn't too expensive. Dean hovered for a time over the cigarettes, clearly struggling, but he groaned and stepped away, choosing a box of Cheez-its instead. 

"Those are probably just as bad for you," Seth laughed, watching him spring the box open as they walked back to the boat. "Gimme a handful." 

"Mm," Dean whined as Seth sunk a large hand into the box and pulled out a sizeable fist. "You go eat your pumpkin seeds."

"Make me," Seth teased, popping a cheese cracker in his mouth. "Those're gettin' a little old anyway."

"Good thing you're cute," Dean muttered as they boarded the ship again, smelling gas as Roman was filling the tank with some help from the manager. Seth smiled wide with a mouth full of cracker and Dean grinned back in a mockingly sexy way, grabbing his dick and groaning. 

"The manager is onto how not straight we are," Roman snickered as he re-entered the boat, just as Seth and Dean were laughing and trying to throw Cheezits in each other's mouths. "Y'all set?"

"Very set," Seth said, watching Dean pick a cracker up off the floor and put it in his mouth without a second thought. "Were we just heading to Key West then? Or…" 

"Where's that turtle hospital at?" Dean asked, dusting cheese crumbs off his shirt. Seth and Roman looked thoughtful, trying to remember. 

"I think that's in Marathon, but I was wondering if you wanted to do your jet skies tonight?" Roman proposed, turning the two keys in the engines and starting the boat up again. "Figured we could get into Key West and do that. Then tomorrow we can just explore wherever we want, yeah?"

"Yeaaaaaaah, let's jets," Dean said, nearly coughing on a cracker. "Jet skies."

"I'm holding you to this chess thing," Seth said, watching his boyfriend put away his snack and sit down in front of the game board, looking thoughtful. "Once we finish, loser has to go in."

"Deal," Dean said, sitting up a little straighter and pulling in his chair. "I'm just that confident."

"Careful Dean-o, I think he's a sleeper cell for board games," Roman cautioned, picking up the pace again as they left the harbor, starting westbound for the opposite side of keys, now that they had zipped under the highway. A few subtle turns had to be made to avoid some fishing boats, but for the most part, they stayed the course as Dean and Seth both began their game. 

Things started quickly as both men traded pawns, passing back and forth to complete their turns at a relatively fast pace. Seth was surprised that Dean seemed to be fairly adept at the game, needing no explanation as he sat, focused and quiet through the duration of his turn. Losing his first knight and slowing down considerably, Seth frowned as Roman grinned.

"What?" Seth said defensively. "Now I just wanna see you guys play."

"It's been a bit," Dean said cooly, unaffected by his own prowess. "You guys ever have to do typing class in school?"

"Uh… yeah, that was ages ago," Seth laughed. Roman nodded at the helm. 

"Yeah, well, I dunno, I always got really bored and one of the other kids would show me how to quit out of the program, so I played all those games like pinball and solitaire… what was the other one… with the mines…" Dean squinted, thinking hard. 

" _ Minesweeper _ ?" Seth laughed, easily imagining a young Dean playing computer games while the other students pecked at old keyboards. 

"Yeah," Dean nodded. "But I did chess too. I played it with my sister a couple times too I think."

"Well, clearly you got game," Seth said, panicking slightly as Dean's castle shot out of the back of his lineup. He needed to slow down and strategize, but it was difficult as he was finding himself flustered. The sleepy haze of waking up slow and quiet that morning was ebbing away as Dean toyed with one of Seth's black pawns. 

Roman stole the box of Cheez-its as the game began to be played more deliberately. Seth tried to think, sure in his mind that the game didn't  _ really _ matter, but equally sure that he didn't want to lose and jump off the boat. He'd never really studied any game theories and didn't imagine himself to be some sort of master of psychology, however, Seth tried to put himself in Dean's head as much as possible. Being sneaky, he operated similarly to Roman, feigning to touch pieces that he wouldn't move before advancing more pawns. 

Whatever mind games he wanted to play, Dean just didn't seem to be paying much attention. If Seth took too long on his turns, Dean looked instead to the outside windows, out at the ocean that was whizzing past as the boat moved on. His gaze only flickered when the game board clinked with a finalized move and twice he began conversation with Roman, almost bored. 

His turns usually only took ten seconds, as though he was trying to sprint through the game like a race. 

"What is your strategy?" Seth asked incredulously as Dean managed to knock off his second knight, putting the two little horse pieces together in his corner. Dean grinned, sitting back with amusement before stealing more crackers from the box in Roman's hand. 

"No strategy," Dean said, chewing slowly. "Just playin' the game."

"I can't be this bad," Seth laughed hollowly, scratching at his scalp. Roman tutted.

"Go get your swimsuit on baby Uce," he teased, "Dean will avenge me."

"We're tied," Seth said, quickly counting the pieces. He was sort of telling the truth, they had the same amount of felled pieces, but Seth had lost better ones than Dean had. 

"It's your turn," Dean reminded him, sinking back.

The game ended up coming down marvelously to Seth and Dean's queens battling it out across the board. Roman played music and continued steering on as Seth tried to think desperately, picking at his beard enough to make his chin feel raw. A lot of Dean's felled pieces had been lost as sacrificial lambs, protecting his king. As his boyfriend turned to Roman, asking about the time, Seth realized he could take his boyfriend's queen and effectively check the king in one move.

"Oh!" Seth laughed, shoving his black queen across the board. "What's this?"

"Whaaat?" Dean whined, narrowing his light eyebrows. Roman looked over and let out a sorry hiss. 

"Check," Seth grinned, sure that the game was his. Dean only had a pawn and a bishop left now. There wasn't much else to be done. He moved his king up a space, much less energetic than he'd been before. In less than five minutes, Seth pushed his pieces down on Dean's remaining offense and used his queen to finish the game. 

"Man, whatever," Dean complained, leaning back in his chair as Seth fluffed the fabric on his shirt as some sort of victorious display. Valiantly, Seth held out his hand as a sign of good sportsmanship, but Dean just rolled his eyes, shirking off his tank top in preparation for what was to come. 

"We still got a little bit," Roman snickered, "I could just kill the engine for a sec though."

They were the farthest south that they'd yet been and it seemed with every mile they moved, the sun became more intense and the water looked clearer and dreamier. As they moved outside, Seth could hear music blasting loudly from a boat closer to the shoreline, likely celebrating spring break. His skin tingled from the heat of the sun and Dean surveyed the water gloomily. 

"It's not any worse than yesterday," Seth said, maybe a little too enthusiastic about winning. There had been a few moments were he'd honestly thought that he wouldn't win, so he was probably a little excessive with his showboating. "Just one big ol' swimmin' pool."

Dean just grumbled and simply stepped off the swimming platform, making a tiny splash in the water and surfacing quickly with a little shake of his head. Seth let out a nasally little laugh and without warning, Roman's hand shoved him right into the water, making him feel like he was about to have a heart attack.

"What if I had my phone on me?!" Seth shrieked, whipping his head back up to the boat just as he surfaced. Dean and Roman were both laughing. The water was really warm and Seth pouted, spitting out salt water. He was wearing just a pair of swim trunks and a tank top, hardly anything that couldn't take a little dip. Perhaps feeling left out or guilty, Roman jumped in as well, making a huge cannon ball that immediately drenched them again, sounding out large waves that rippled against the current. 

"Alright, are we all happy now?" Dean asked, obviously a little uncomfortable, bobbing at the surface sharply as he tread water aggressively. Coming from behind, Roman carefully threaded his arms under Dean's armpits and scooped him up, pulling them chest to chest. Dean allowed it, resting his head to the side of Roman's so they were cheek to cheek.

"Jet skies?" Roman asked after a moment of floating. Seth simply tread water, wading in a little circle with his eyes just above the water line.

Dean hummed and after a few moments, they used the little swimmer's ladder to return to the boat, dripping wet and excited.

As it turned out, there was a coupon for a jet ski rental facility in Key West that was included in the booklet of information that the three had received upon renting the houseboat. Seth toweled off and Roman continued driving, bringing the engine back to life and powering down in the direction of Key West. On the table, among the pamphlets describing the terms of the rental agreement, Seth saw a bright ad for JOEY AND CANDICE'S WATERSPORTS, which was promoting a two for one deal that was good through the month of March. 

"Which side of the island is it on?" Roman asked as Seth spotted the location on the little map of Key West that had been provided. 

"Same side, like-" Seth said, tracing the island in the air. "South side. The side we're on."

"How many more islands do we even got?" Dean asked, plopping down onto the pullout couch and toweling off his hair. 

"Key West is the end of the line," Roman explained, gesturing to the coastline to their right. "The southernmost point in the US, except for Hawaii I guess." he pointed to the left, out onto the great open blue. "Go far enough that way, you hit Cuba at some point."

"You think we could get to Cuba on jetskis?" Dean asked, smiling. Seth could see he was still a little pink from sunburn, his nose tinted red like a kid. 

"I don't think they'd have us," Seth snorted, sitting down at the table and staring at the coupon again. "We're still good to do our own thing tomorrow? We'll just dock and spread out?"

"Yeah, if you wanted to," Roman said, leaning back in his seat at the helm. "I really don't know what I'm gunna do without y'all, I forgot."

A strange silence mixed in the cabin of the boat and Seth considered his nail beds as he sat, mind blank. Some part of him remembered wanting to check out the Dry Tortugas, an island a helicopter's ride out into the ocean. However, he wanted to save his money a little and he didn't know how long such a trip would take. Seth hadn't really got any souvenirs of his trip, and he knew that Sasha, Bayley, Cesaro and even his family ought to get something from the islands, even if it was something small. Judging by the photos of Key West's tourist areas on the advertisements in front of him, he supposed that the island was probably made for shopping around.

"What are you going to do?" Seth asked Dean. His boyfriend looked up. "Tomorrow, I mean."

"Uhh," Dean blinked, thinking. "Maybe bike around? I dunno. That tire keeps needing air. Maybe I'll leave the bike somewhere so I don't gotta worry about it when we drop the boat off later."

Slowing down to a soft cruise in Key West, Seth and Dean sat out on the bow, taking in the whole panorama as the shorefront properties looked more tightly knit, competing for space. Through their whole trip, Seth had mostly felt a sense of natural wonder, looking out onto the mangroves and the beaches lined with grass and swaying palms. Key West seemed much more lived in, in a sense. The beaches were sandier and brighter, while the palms seemed to compete for space among the oceanside buildings. Everything manmade seemed cultured, in a sense that the architecture was older and intentional. Tourists walked here and there, biking or running with dogs. On the water, fishing tours were docking and unloading, leaving a distinctly fishy scent in their wake. Quiet and alert to take it all in, Seth sort of wished he had some artistic ability to capture the scene, then he remembered they had cameras and he hastened to take a few photos with his phone.

**Having a lot of fun down here!** Seth texted his mom with a photo of the marina. A few clouds were lazily dotting the backdrop of an otherwise blue sky.  **Ill try to find u and Bob something cool**

They docked in an area that was nearly full and Roman clicked his teeth at the price, hastening to grab his wallet and hand over some of the cash he'd set aside for their parking fees. Dean bounced to his feet, getting excited. 

"Food first," Roman said, leading the way out and locking the door behind them as they made their way onto land again. 

Eating semi-fast food for yet another meal and the three agreed to get a nice dinner on Thursday after they were done wandering around Key West by themselves. Snacking on a cuban-style fish wrap, Seth looked on passively as Roman tried to make sense of the map on his phone which would lead them to the rental facility. Dean held onto the coupon, and the three moved together on the little walking path, filled with other tourists holding drinks and talking happily to one another.

"This the gay place then?" Dean asked, rather bluntly as they spotted the third same sex couple coming the opposite direction, wearing tank tops and holding hands. 

"Uh, yeah," Roman said, slightly embarrassed by Dean's candor. Really, the whole island looked warm and accepting with gay pride flags mixed in with the banners of other countries on display. Souvenir shops had signs reading something along the lines of Everyone is welcome here in various languages, and even the seemingly heterosexual people walking here and there looked 'queer' in some manner. Seth smiled at a man busking with a guitar and a parrot, old with long white hair in a ponytail, tanned dark brown from years of being outside in the sun. Content to sing the same Jimmy Buffet covers until he was done with his days. 

For the first time maybe ever, Seth felt wholly confident sliding his hand down to Dean's and holding it lightly in public. Dean relaxed and squeezed back, not bothering to look around, wondering if some opinionated asshole might sneer or stare. They kept it up, even as their hands sweat and Roman cooed, taking their photo. 

"Oh, here it is," he said, maybe a mile up the path, pointing to a small building sitting primly a top the shoreline. "I hope we can just take 'em out. I know some places will take you on tours to see certain spots."

"You don't wanna do that?" Seth asked, Roman just shrugged, pulling closer and giving Seth a little kiss on the forehead. 

"I wanna do whatever y'all wanna do," he muttered, leading the way.

An old, very blown out radio was playing _I Believe In a Thing Called Love_ as they approached the building, next to it, a sign read  _ CHECK US OUT IN THE REAR!  _ and pointed down a path which turned into a short set of stairs. Chuckling at the stupid sign, Seth followed behind Dean and Roman as they came to a little grotto where a few tourists were standing in a small ring, all wearing life jackets and listening to a blonde woman talk in an animated voice.

"You fellas lookin' to jet ski?"

All three men turned and Seth actually had to stifle a laugh, feigning a cough in his shoulder. The man in front of them looked like a halloween costume version of a porn star. With brown hair, a large moustache and ample chest hair that cascaded through his open silky shirt, Seth wasn't sure he could pretend the man wasn't objectively hilarious looking. Apparently, he seemed accompanied to the stares of strangers and without missing a beat, he held out his hand and smiled wide behind his sunglasses.

"Joey Ryan, do you guys have the coupon?"

"Mmm yeah," Dean said, fishing the piece of paper out from his swim trunk pocket. Roman gave them a light introduction and Joey scanned the sheet. In his mouth, he was sucking on a little sugar sucker and he licked his lips, looking over to the group by the dock. 

"Candice is just starting with this group, you guys can jump on in. You ever jet-skied before?" Joey pointed to Roman first.

"Few times, yeah," he answered. Joey's finger wiggled over to Dean. "Uh yeah, same." he answered. Seth was still slightly in disbelief at the sight of the man. He stood with his legs apart, constantly mobile through his hips and incredibly tan and burly under his shirt and tight speedo trunks. It was difficult to say if he was gay or not, or just some incredibly confusing caricature. 

"A long time ago," Seth answered. Joey's eyes flicked back over to Candice, who seemed to pick up on the fact that she had more customers. 

"Sounds good to me- if you wanted to leave anything important on land, we rent lockers here-" he pointed to the building. "Otherwise, you can hop in with Candice there, she does all the hard work around here."

_ What the hell?   _ Seth mouthed to Roman as they walked over to the shade of the covered dock where Candice was talking to the other tourists. Roman just shrugged, nodding to the other people in the circle politely.

"All the weird from the country bleeds down into here," he said, softly so only Seth could hear. Unoccupied, Joey was now taking off his shirt and applying some suntan lotion to his already incredibly tanned body, sinking into a lounge chair. It would have been hot if Seth wasn't so embarrassed by the seriousness of it. He was distracted as Candice handed him a lifejacket, looking sweet and excited.

"Welcome! Welcome!" She said brightly. "Let's get started!"

The coupon deal only covered two wave runners, which really wasn't a big deal since the seats were designed to fit a driver and a passenger. Candice paired everyone up with a jet ski and Seth gravitated to Dean naturally, sure that the fit of his body and Roman's would be a little snug and the weight would likely drag them down. Each craft had a coast guard box and Candice showed them where to put their phones to keep the dry. 

"Who is the driver then?" Candice asked, between Seth and Dean. Dean looked to Seth, but Seth just grinned.

"He's got it," Seth said, sure that Dean wanted to do so. Candice handed him a lanyard with a bracelet strap. 

"So this here fits into your ignition, okay?" She demonstrated, her small hands pushing the chip card from the lanyard into a slot next to the buttons. "If you are thrown from the jet ski, it will stop immediately so you can get to it. Just make sure you have that on your hand and if you wanted to swap, you need to swap out the lanyard as well."

Walking into the water with the jet skies, Seth could feel little rocks and sticks poking his feet. Waves lapped up against his chest and he opened up his stance carefully, making sure that the jet ski didn't bump his knee or knock him over. Dean got on first, climbing over the seat and pushing his sunglasses higher on his face, just as Roman threw his leg over the side of his Kawasaki, ready to go. 

"You have a full tank now and you have an hour!" Candice said, pointing out a ring of buoys around the coastline. "Just remember what we said, and use your whistle if you have any difficulties, I'll be out as well in case you need anything!"

"You ready?" Dean asked Seth, turning over just as Seth enclosed his hands loosely around Dean's sides. Seth's stomach shifted strangely. His mind felt foggy still from such a relaxed morning and he had the strange sensation of suddenly entering his body as it was. The water was cool and his hair was falling out of his bun in a sort of dirty sweaty mess around his shoulders. Roman started his jet ski and Dean looked over at him. "We gunna race?"

"Uh, we could!" Roman laughed. Without much warning, Dean started the wave runner and Seth let out a choked yell as they accelerated fast, shooting out over the water with such an intensity that Seth hadn't anticipated. Water careened to either side in a blur and Seth scrambled to hold onto Seth tight, hearing Roman roaring and accelerating at their side.

"DEAN!" Seth screamed, hugging as tight as he could to his boyfriend, his whole body tingling as he was sure that he would be thrown from the craft at any second. Dean steadied out after taking a sharp turn, the sun glimmered all round them, bright and reflecting hard against the water. "HOLY SHIT!"

"YEAH!" Dean yelled back happily. Seth choked and let out a strained laugh, watching the coastline whip around them as the other jet skiers fanned out in different directions. Dean turned sharply again and Seth leaned into it, pressing his face to the back of Dean's lifejacket as they circled the buoy, beating Roman. "You good?" he asked as they came to a slower pace, turning his head and grinning.

"M-yeah-" Seth rasped, swallowing hard. All around them, the water was azure and beautiful. More beautiful than any pamphlet had described. The waves shook them up and down slightly and Seth could hear another  _ click _ of Roman capturing a photo. 

Dean revved the engine and chuckled as Seth's hands gripped him hard, thinking they were about to shoot out again. 

"Jerk," Seth muttered, sitting up as Roman floated by.

"These run pretty good, yessir!" Roman laughed, pushing back his hair. "Man, good call Dean-o."

"Yeah yeah," Dean said, nodding back to where they'd come from. "It goes faster too. I wanna see if I can do donuts." 

"God, okay," Seth said weakly, sure that he could handle the speed but hoping Dean might give him a warning. Dean just looked back and kissed him right on the lips.

"Hold on babe, I'll spell your name out 'n the water," he said, revving the engine again. Seth readied himself and whooped as they sped up again, arching into the large curve of a gigantic _S_. 

"ARE YOU GOING-" Seth laughed, looking behind them as the surf turned into a frothy white. "ARE YOU SPELLING ROLLINS TOO?"

"WHAT?" Dean yelled, cranking hard on the left to arch into the base for the E. 

"ARE YOU SPELLING ROLLINS?" Seth repeated, yelling over the rush of wind. 

"YEAH SURE," Dean screamed back. "THAT'S TWO L's RIGHT?"

"WHAT?"

Candice and Joey were both out on jet skis, just sitting and watching as they passed by. Seth was sure that they probably looked ridiculous plummeting along through the water with no detectable direction. Looking back, there was no way to tell Dean had really spelled his name out in ocean water, and as they went on, Seth wondered if he'd really completed it, curving in wide arches. The sun was bright though, and nothing really mattered. His skin prickled from the heat and his ass was wet in the seat, but Seth just sat closer, impossibly happy. He didn't want to think about how he'd look back on these days as some real amazing thing where he'd experienced this quantifiable enjoyment. More often than not, Seth thought a lot of assigned sentimentality to situations cheapened the experience. 

But, on the whole wide earth, Seth didn't want to be anywhere but on the ocean, holding his boyfriend, simultaneously fearing for his life and living it to the most.   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Four whole parts all at once! Part 5 is going to be Seth's chapter where he wanders around Key West and gets up to some solo adventures. Similarly to how I did these chapters, I'll be posting four more at once that will cover that latter half of the trip where we get a chapter from Dean's and Roman's perspective's of their own Key West day and then a final chapter where they wrap up their vacation. Thanks a lot for hanging on through a few weeks without successive updates. This makes up for it I hope. There were a lot of folks asking for some more Dean in their lives and I hope these chapters wet your appetite. 
> 
> Joey Ryan and Candice Lerae are independent wrestlers. Well, Candice is signed now, but the bulk of her career is in the indies. They were written in because someone asked. If you have requests, let me know! 
> 
> Please comment with anything you liked about these chapters. Part 2 has now officially busted through the 100k mark and it's nearly got 100 kudos I think. These chapters are much larger than the usual updates, just as single pieces, but this bulk update was about 100 pages long. It's great hearing from you guys and I hope you enjoyed it. <3


	19. Shield Key [Part: 5]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seth's day in Key West.

Seth woke up in bed alone that morning after all three of them had nearly passed out on the roof of the boat the previous night. Getting up slowly and staring at the sunny window, he recalled their fond evening, laying under the stars and talking late. Seth had drank a few beers and he felt a little groggy, rolling his tongue around in his mouth distastefully. He'd forgotten to brush his teeth. 

As he got up and slowly began to amble around the kitchen, he realized Dean must have left again. Roman was snoring loudly on the pull out couch, making the full size look like a twin. The blue bike was missing from it's spot on the bow, and Seth remembered his boyfriend describing how he intended to make his way around the island, solo.

Looking around a little stupidly, Seth realized that this  _ was _ his time to explore and go out by himself. It wasn't as though he didn't want to, but he really had no idea what he would do with the time he had. Outside, people were chatting and walking around the dock, and a bell was ringing off in the distance, probably from a fishing ship. If Seth wanted to go get breakfast and coffee, he could probably wake Roman and at least see if he wanted to go.

But glancing at his slumbering boyfriend, Seth frowned, unsure. They'd agreed the day was to be spent by themselves, but if he wanted to share his time, would it come off as clingy? It had been months since Seth had really thought about such things, as his lovers assured him over and over again that they liked his company. However, Seth didn't want to infringe upon his lover's time if they wanted to be independent. Instead of waking Roman, Seth tied his hair up and slipped on his shoes, making his way out without a second thought.

He brought his phone along just in case someone wanted to reach him, and as Seth walked up to the mainland and onto the street, he felt the device buzz sharply against his leg and several texts came flooding into his inbox. A backlog had accrued and Seth squinted behind his sunglasses, staring at the screen which was barely visible in the strong sunlight.

First, a text from Sasha, with a picture of Kevin at the dog park. Then, a picture of a very large package that had arrived with a series of exclamation points.  _ Our bed frame _ , Seth thought, eager to reply. Almost as soon as he opened the dialogue to type, more texts came in and he grunted, furrowing his brow.

**We want to put it together, but we cant find a screwdriver!** Sasha had messaged, and then, a picture of Bayley with the tool box that usually sat in the garage.  **Got it!**

**U dont have to-** Seth typed out, but before he could send anything, a message from Cesaro came through.

**Hope u are having a fun time!** he said simply. Seth smiled, glad his friend had thought of him, but then, he got a string of texts from his mother. 

**That's great sweetheart! I'm glad everything is working out!**

**Don't buy us anything too expensive. Bob does say that he wants a cigar though… but you do NOT need to buy him one!**

**Brandon and I are going to visit Grandpa Saturday and see how he is doing. We love you!**

"Oh, sorry." Seth shifted as a couple came by with a baby in a stroller, frowning as he was standing in the way, oblivious and on his phone. It seemed that he was done receiving messages for the time being and he pocketed the device, trying earnestly to enjoy his surroundings. He was putting a lot of pressure on himself to not be so involved with his phone, and he was especially hungry, looking around to the buildings to his immediate left and right. Resigned, he walked ahead and pulled his phone out again, searching Google maps for a cafe or restaurant that was nearby. 

Up the road and then down a right toward the overseas highway they'd come in on, Seth located a little mexican seafood spot called  _ Chico's _ and felt a little silly waiting at the hostess counter by himself. Next to a few families and older folks that looked like locals, he knew he was a blatant tourist in his slip ons, shorts and a tank top. All down his shoulders and arms, a light sunburn had started to accumulate, and Seth was sure his nose would be peeling fast by the time he was driving back to Pensacola. The thought of seeing Roman's family again on Saturday night didn't feel so ominous as he sat and snacked on chips, considering how lovely their vacation had been. Though it did feel a little strange to think that he'd agreed to lie in return for such an experience, Seth knew his boyfriend hadn't anticipated the Christmas situation blowing up the way it did. This time, the three would be staying with Roman's cousins, so surely it wouldn't quite so dramatic. 

"I'll have uh.. The shredded beef chimichanga looks good…" Seth said, perusing the menu quickly after he'd had a few minutes to sit with it. The waitress came over, ready with her pad of paper. "Just some more water too… thanks."

He thought for a while of Dean, riding his bike around the island and probably taking photos with the disposable cameras. Roman might still be sleeping for all Seth knew, or otherwise roaming around for breakfast. They'd eaten most of the grilled leftovers and their snacks were being steadily depleted. Munching on his own meal, Seth started to get his energy back, and began to think of how he wanted to spend his day. Picking up a few souvenirs was a good idea, but Seth also wanted to just walk around and stretch his legs some. Even with a few days of being fairly active and hanging around outside, his diet was mostly junk and he started to get antsy again, sure that he'd go to the gym and at least work his upper body when he returned home.

After he was finished with his meal, Seth paid in cash and sauntered around outside, pulling up the map on his phone again to figure out exactly where he was at. According to Google, Roman had parked their boat right in between the portion of Key West that was a naval station, and the half that made up the bulk of tourist activities. If he walked down the main street, Seth would eventually come upon the road the looped most of the island, looking out right onto the ocean that surrounded it. Tall, regal palms lined the way and the same jogger and dog walker types that had been marching by their dock were congesting the area, soaking up the endless sun and sea. Scratching at his sunburn a little and thinking of how it would be a lot of work to walk back to the ship, Seth continued on, thinking he should probably buy some SPF 40 the moment he saw it. 

It was difficult to tell exactly how much distance he had to walk, looking between his GPS and the streets arching around the ocean. Several blocks on, Seth frowned, looking at his phone and realizing the island was bigger than he was imagining. As his neck prickled and his knee began to feel sore, Seth hummed, wondering if Uber was even a thing in such a small place.

"Hey! Uh," Seth said, flagging down a bike rickshaw which was slowly rolling down the road in the bike lane. The older man looked up, smiling bright. "Could you take me to the west side of key?"

"Sure! Absolutely!" he said, patting the passenger cabin warmly. Seth climbed in and felt grateful for the tiny bit of shade he was giving his back and neck. As they pedaled on, Seth could see most of the immediate blocks were taken up by little houses. Surely, the other side of the Key was more tailored to tourists. 

"Did you want to go to Duval street? I could take you down Eaton." The man asked, turning his head briefly so Seth could hear. "Did you want to see anything specific?" 

"Uh…" Seth said stupidly, feeling a twinge of embarrassment and going for broke. "So… I've been in the Key's all week and sort of winging it... Me and my uh… my partner are here and this is supposed to be the day we do whatever-" 

"Oh lovely!" The man said without missing a beat. They came to a red light and the cart slowed to a stop. "Welcome to Key West!"

"Heh, thanks…" Seth nodded. "Do you maybe know where I can get a good cup of coffee?"

The man, who's name was Zeb, told Seth all about how he'd lived on the island for about twenty-five years and loved driving tourists and all sorts of folks around. As they traveled on, Seth could see the road narrow down more to a more old-timey brick paved way and his driver explained the various buildings in expert detail. He recommended visiting the Southernmost point marker and the Margaritaville restaurant if he was so inclined, but Zeb also pointed out the Freeman-Curry house, a historical landmark that lined the road, with beautiful white architecture and well maintained palms. 

"But for coffee, there's a place called Cafe Marquesa… but it might be more sit down food. You want more than a Starbucks, don't you?" he asked. 

"If at all possible," Seth laughed. It was weird seeing chain restaurants and shops awkwardly wedged into the historical markers. Zeb nodded, then came closer to the curb, pointing out. 

"This might be it, and really, we're about where you might want to start your day anyway!" he said excitedly. "My kids always like comin' here when they visit. It's a doughnut shop with these great big paintings of robots!"

"Oh goodness," Seth said, lighting up as he could see into the shop through it's large windows. He eagerly paid his driver and waved him off. "Thanks so much for your help!"

"Of course! Of course!" he smiled, making to turn towards Duval. "Have a wonderful rest of your trip!"

Seth just about lost his mind, staring at the selection inside the blissfully air conditioned shop. He ended up getting a cold press coffee and a key lime donut, which both tasted amazing and invigorating. Next store, there was a Walgreens and he quickly purchased a small bottle of sunscreen that would fit inside his pocket comfortably. As he had suspected, this other side of the island was much more populated with tourists and the streets were wide so people could walk in huge groups and not disrupt the flow of traffic, rolling through the small, quaint stop lights. On balconies, hotel guests sat luxuriously, soaking up the sun and drinking picturesque cocktails. At the street level, people were carrying shopping bags and disappearing into highly colored, attractive businesses. 

At first it was a little overwhelming and Seth sucked down his coffee a little too quickly, feeling his mind start to race with all the possibilities for gifts. Some shops were a little too obviously touristy, with all sorts of screen printed tees and hoodies reading some variation of KEY WEST FLORIDA in huge block print. Walking as quickly as he could with a less enthusiastic knee, Seth ducked into a simple clothing store and wandered around for a moment, trying to think.

He had a decent amount of money still, and really only two days left to spend it seriously. It made the most sense to get something for Sasha and Bayley as a thank-you for watching Kevin, but Seth wanted to get something for Cesaro as well. His family was obviously important, and Seth knew he should throw together a big box of souvenirs that could double as a kind of Easter gift. His mom, Bob, Brandon and Grandpa Don were a varied mix, but Seth was sure he could accommodate them all if he planned accordingly. 

_ I want something too _ he thought, turning through a clothes rack unambitiously. The place was geared more toward teenagers and after a few minutes of loitering, he walked out, trying to think.

There was a cigar shop across the street, and so Seth shuffled through the crosswalk first, walking around rather stupidly in the open store without much of a clue about what his father might want. Barrels of finely rolled cubans were out, exposed to the air and inviting customers to inspect them, and Seth wrinkled his nose, wondering what differentiated the various blends. After a few moments of looking helpless and dumb, an employee guided him around and helped him pick out a reasonable box to stick a few cigars in. 

"That'll be 59.98 then," she chimed as she took his card. Seth blinked and sighed, hoping his step dad would actually enjoy the damn things. There was no way he could be buying that quality of gift for all his friends and family and he left the store quickly before he could be charged for anything else.

His mother's gift was a lot simpler. A quick trip into a fudge shop meant he procured a few little bricks of turtle fudge and sea salt caramels that looked just as gourmet as the cigars, if not cheaper. Thinking of Bayley and Sasha, Seth picked up some extra candies as well, sure they would appreciate the sweets.

"Is there any like… video game stores around here?" Seth asked the cashier. The man thought for a moment before shaking his head a little. 

"There's a toy store on Roosevelt, but not like, a video game place I don't think," he mumbled, processing Seth's change. "Sorry man." 

It would have probably been a little impersonal to buy a video game for his step-brother anyway, Seth thought as he returned to the street, looking around for something Brandon might enjoy. One of the tourist shops was advertising a sale on shirts, and Seth bit the bullet and purchased a tie-dye T-shirt that read MARGARITAVILLE, USA across the breast. It was certainly stupid, but Brandon had dumber shirts that he wore fairly often. 

He felt pretty good about his shopping prowess and sat outside for a few minutes, reapplying some sunscreen and fixing his bun while hordes of excited tourists walked by, all holding pineapples with cocktails mixed inside. It was barely three o'clock yet, but plenty of folks were milling around with open containers and laughing happily around the bars. His bags weren't particularly heavy, but Seth had to psyche himself up to continue on, giving his knee a little rub as the joint felt swollen and aggravated. 

All he had to do now was find something for Cesaro and his grandfather, which was maybe a little harder than shopping for his mom. As funny as it would be to get his friend some goofy gag-gift like an embarrassing mug or a dumb shirt, Seth actually wanted Cesaro to enjoy what he got and make use of it. Coffee was always a sure bet, but he wasn't seeing any coffee roasting places in the block ahead. 

"Would you like to go to a free show tonight?" A busty woman wearing a very revealing shirt smiled at him sweetly, extending a little piece of paper in her hand. "Red Garter Saloon is just down the road! It's a  _ really  _ fun time,"

"Uh… I'm good... thanks though," Seth said, shaking his head as he saw FULL NUDE STAGE written across the top of the paper. Obviously the woman was some kind of stripper or something. She kept moving along and Seth looked around, seeing a few other women on the opposite side of the street in similar get-ups. At first he felt a little bad, watching the sleazy guys drawing closer and eagerly grabbing the papers from their hands, but Seth reminded himself that the girls probably made a lot more money than he did and he snorted, moving along. He wondered if he was moving into some red-light district of Key West as he kept walking. The names of the bars became more titillating and obvious. 

A second level store called LEATHER AND LACE caught Seth's eye and he paused, examining the banner for the shop, which was also flying a pride flag in tandem. The last time Seth had been to a sex shop was when he was eighteen and it had been pretty disappointing. It had been in Iowa with Marek and the selection had been rather poor and mostly dedicated to heterosexual fantasies. Since then, Seth had just purchased his sex accessories online, sure that he didn't want some creep at the cash register accosting him over his interests. 

Feeling adventurous, Seth walked into the entryway of the building and walked up a very old and narrow set up steps that creaked with every shift of his weight. At the top, Seth opened a door and heard a little tinkle of a bell over the entryway. 

"Hello," a shorter, darker skinned man that Seth would guess to be Mexican greeted him with a warm smile. He was laughing a little, apparently in the middle of trying on some get up while a woman at his side was holding a White top hat with a long white feather. "Feel free to ask any questions!"

"O-okay," Seth smiled awkwardly, looking around the small shop. Sunlight was pouring in the old windows and rows of glass cases exhibited what looked like custom leather get ups, advertising a high level of craftsmanship. Glancing at the price tags, Seth swallowed hard, sure he wasn't going to sink into a sudden affinity for the material. 

"We're having a 30% sale on custom pieces if you're interested," the woman said, setting the top hat on the counter and looking to Seth with very pretty, careful eyes. "But we're also doing a buy-two-get-one-free on panties as well." 

She gestured at a rack with underwear on neat little hangers, as well as a large wooden chest that was exploding with lacy goods. Seth's eyebrows perked up. 

"Okay… thanks," he mumbled, ambling over to the corner with underwear and high heeled shoes. Without batting an eye at the fact that Seth was a guy, the woman behind the counter turned to her companion and surveyed him. Seth could see in the corner of his eye that he'd taken his shirt off and was sporting white suspenders, clipped to his pants. 

"If you don't wear the white matte pants, you will look stupid," she insisted. "I do not like the vinyl."

"But aren't you wearing the vinyl?" the man asked.

"Hell no! I don't want to sweat to death!" She laughed, placing the hat on his head. 

Seth continued to listen to them go back and forth as he set down his bags and began peering through the selection of panties. He really had no idea what he was doing and felt a little silly being the only one in the shop, but he thought the underwear was priced really well. Seth thought immediately of Dean, his eyes lighting up excitedly, admiring the g-string that had been in Roman's bag. Seth's dick got antsy, imagining Roman and Dean both wearing lacy thongs and he bit his lip thinking hard.  _ Should I get them some sexy underwear? _

"Did you find everything okay?" The man asked, still a little giddy as he was now shirtless. His companion was looking over several mesh shirts with slender, well manicured hands, pondering the options. Seth set down a few pairs of black panties, blushing hard and nodding fast. He watched as the man began putting the underwear into a nondescript paper bag and rang the items up on an Ipad.

"Andrande, put the sale on it," the woman urged, tapping at the screen with her finger and smiling up at Seth. "Got to take care of the _ pretty  _ ones."

"Heh… yeah, absolutely," Seth blushed an even deeper red, taking back his card and swiping his finger across the tablet screen to sign. He hadn't really bought himself anything, but the underwear would likely fit them all comfortably. If anything, the real treat was just seeing his boyfriend's asses mired in sexy lace, expertly framed.

"Don't forget your bags!" the man called Andrande said, pointing out Seth's cigars and chocolates, which were still resting on the floor. Seth limped over and quickly scooped them up, thanking the two several times before making his way out. The place hadn't been nearly as sexual as he'd been imagining, more of a lingerie store than an explicit sex shop. But with Roman's vast selection of toys, Seth doubted he'd ever want for a dildo or flogger again.

The little detour still left him looking for a gift for Cesaro and his grandfather, and Seth cycled back, turning around to investigate the opposite side of the road he'd missed. His knee was aching, but he knew he should get his shopping done that day before he had to leave. In his pocket, his phone buzzed lightly and he stopped for a moment to set down his bags and squint at the screen in the bright light.

**Blue heaven tonight at 6 for dinner? I made a reservation** Roman texted, Seth quickly opened up the chat box, typing  **sounds good** before he even bothered to look up the spot. He felt as though he was growing excited to see them again and hear about their own solo adventures, poking around Key West. Checking the time, Seth saw he had about two and a half hours before he had to make his way to wherever the restaurant was. According to his phone, there was a specialty coffee shop two blocks south west, and he made his way off of Duval to a small store called  _ Cocoroaster _ and picked up a little bag of dark, aromatic coffee beans in a gold and brown pouch. 

Seth could already imagine his grandfather saying something along the lines of  _ "Oh don't worry about me…" _ but Seth was determined to get some little momento that might pass as a suitable gift. It was difficult to think of anything that was actually useful and not too tacky. Don didn't wear a lot of bright colors or own many decorations. Since his grandmother passed away, the farm house was relatively plain and unadorned. He didn't want to get his grandfather anything that he would be forced to dust unnecessarily, or something garish that would just accumulate space. 

Seth stopped in front of an art store that had several paintings in the windows with small price tags hanging from the corners. It was difficult to make out the cost of each one individually, but Seth would have guessed they were out of his price range. He didn't want to waste time looking at art he didn't intend to buy, but his knee was really annoying him now, throbbing each time he bent it even slightly. 

_ What doesn't suck? _ Seth thought, annoyed and turning in a circle to look around the street. A few awnings were erected on the sidewalk of the crosswalk and locals were selling handmade wares. Coming closer, Seth half smiled as he made eye contact with the older women, sitting in fold out chairs and fanning themselves. He knew he didn't want to buy any jewelry. 

"If you have any questions, let me know," one man said as Seth came closer to his booth with blown glass bottles, filled with fine white sand and shells. Seth paused, examining a few of the various containers. He could sort of imagine filling one with flowers to stand upright in the sand, but he wasn't sure if that disrupted the aesthetic of the piece. His eyes caught a little jar with a tiny, fake wooden ship marooned in the sand inside. 

"How much is this?" Seth asked, picking up the little bottle and squinting at the inside. "This is cool."

"Thirty nine," the man said, nodding. "Me and my son make those."

Seth thought it was his best option yet and purchased the bottle, sure that his grandfather would at least appreciate a cool little handmade object with some tropical sand. He was issued many thanks for 'supporting a local artist' and Seth just nodded, looking around and wishing he had a spot to sit. 

"Can I call an Uber around here?" He asked the artist, rearranging his bags in his arms. "I need to… unload all of these…"

Luckily enough, the island did have more than just rickshaws and Seth collapsed into the back of a Toyota Rav4 with all of his purchases, feeling perfectly exhausted. He gave the driver the address to the marina and thought that he might put down his things and take a power nap before setting off again. His phone coverage was still a little spotty and the icon of the ride share tittered a little on the screen of his phone, having trouble calculating his exact position. Seth yawned and stared outside, taking in the sight. It was all so beautiful he couldn't imagine his luck. Gulls and pelicans circled and the sun was still rather high in the sky, arching lazily overhead and making the water shine dazzlingly bright. He was sore and sunburned and his wallet was a little less full, but Seth's heart felt heavy as he made his way out of the car and down to the dock where the  _ Delta Sierra Romeo _ was calmly floating in the clear water. 

The door was already unlocked and Seth set down his bags in a hurry, toeing out of his shoes. The whir of the air conditioner was the only sound he could make out and without thinking, he flopped down onto the pull out couch bed, sure that he could take some time to rest his eyes before supper. Suddenly, he heard a yell and felt something sharp connect with the side of his face and Seth shouted, seeing stars and blinking hard as his cheek stung. His whole world felt rocked and he grabbed his face, leaning hard on the bed frame. 

"The fuck ar'ou?" Dean said from the bed, sitting up. "You jump on me?" 

"I didn't jump on you!" Seth yelled angrily, trying to get his bearings. "I didn't think you were there! You were all caught up in the blankets!"

As soon as he could see straight, he ambled to the bathroom, checking the spot where Dean had smacked him in the mirror. His eyes looked red and angry and his face was pink from the sun. His left cheek started to swell slightly, feeling weird and raw against his mouth. He wasn't bleeding or banged up though, and so he returned to the living space, seeing Dean massaging his side where Seth had apparently leaned into him. Both men looked sorry, but Seth felt stupid, sure that if he'd taken an extra moment he would have realized his boyfriend had been laying in the sheets. 

"Sorry… if I freaked you out," he said, calming down significantly. "I thought you were still gone."

"I'm fine," Dean muttered from the pillow, smiling up at his face. "Got you good, didn't I?"

"Mean elbow," Seth whined, want for attention and reaching out his hands to resist touching his face.  "Cuddle me. Otherwise I'm not giving you your gift."

"My  _ gift _ ?" Dean blinked, looking confused, but making way in the bed to accept him, "What gift?"

"Your special gift I bought for you today," Seth said muffled, inching himself right into the snug spot over Dean's chest and making use of the pillow in front of him. Dean grunted in his ear and rested his arm over Seth's breast, pulling him in. "You'll really like it, but you have to cuddle me." 

Dean took awhile to get comfortable, wiggling his face around and trying to find the best position while Seth tried to make himself as easy to spoon as possible. He hadn't realized how much he'd missed it, but after a whole day with little contact with his boyfriends, his dick was really impatient and his mind and body only felt still when Dean's hands were on him. The bed smelled familiar and calming, and he instantly began to relax as he reacquainted himself with his boyfriend's space. 

"What'd I get?" Dean asked after a few minutes, nudging his hair bun to get his attention. Seth sighed, eyes shut. 

"Mm' tell you later," he mumbled, yawning against his pillow just as Dean made a noise and pulled away. Seth felt scandalized, spluttering dramatically from the sudden loss of touch. 

"My arm's fallin' asleep," Dean laughed, pressing on Seth's nose to try to rudely dislodge him from the spot against his armpit. Seth whined, and, feeling sneaky, urgently grabbed all the blankets, hoarding the material so his boyfriend had no ability to cover himself. If Dean was going to deny him a snuggle, he was determined to be a bit of a brat. But instead of trying to wrestle the sheets out of his grasp, Dean just laughed, hopping over him to leave the pull out. 

"Dibs on the big bed," he laughed lowly, making Seth scoff. Feeling incredibly devious, he faked a sudden twist in his leg and mimed an injury, grabbing at his knee as though it had been kicked and squinting hard. Dean stared, nearly out of sight, but apparently under the impression he could have hurt his boyfriend. Ramping up the drama a bit, Seth cursed, holding onto the wall and his knee with white knuckles. 

Dean looked on as he sat back down, then came back into the room slowly, practically dripping with an apology. With his good ankle, Seth prepared to spring up again, privately laughing in his own head.

"You okay?" Dean asked quietly, hovering at his side. Sure he could clear the room in just a few quick hops, Seth grinned hugely and sprang across the room, throwing himself at the large bed and throwing the door shut with a loud slam. 

"I got dibs!" he yelled loudly, pushing a pillow under his head and extending his legs proudly. "I'm throwing your gift in the ocean!" He paused for a response, but his blood ran cold as he heard the shake of both plastic and paper bags. The ones he'd left heaped on the kitchen floor.

"What  _ this  _ gift?" he heard Dean say, "I'll just do it for you babe, throw all of this stuff away..."

"NO!" Seth yelled, sure that he didn't want his boyfriend to see the panties yet. He threw the door open quickly, but his heart nearly stopped as he tripped, right leg catching on his left and sending him straight to the floor with a loud  _ SMACK _ that echoed around the boat dully. He barely managed to catch himself and his hip burned where the bone had thudded against the hard floor, but he was mostly intact. 

"You… okay…?" Dean laughed nervously, taking a moment as though Seth could have possibly planned to fall in a shit heap on the floor. Seth pushed himself up and gave his head a little shake, feeling adrenaline flood his brain uncomfortably. Dean walked over and Seth poked at his knee, making sure the joint hadn't been twisted terribly. It felt about the same as it had before he'd fallen. 

"Time out," Dean muttered, leaning over, "You okay or not?"

"It's fine, I'm fine," Seth nodded, feeling stupid. "That was dumb."

"Whatever," Dean mumbled, giving his bun a little squeeze. "Can you get up?"

Seth pushed himself to standing without Dean's help, testing the weight on his right leg and wincing a little. His boyfriend looked concerned, but Seth just shook his head. 

"It was like that earlier 'cause I was walking around all day," he explained, limping over to the pull out couch and sitting back down on the surface. "Do you think you could get me a cold pack? We got a bit before dinner."

"When's dinner?" Dean asked, walking into the kitchen and returning with a cool pack to set on his knee. Seth pawed at his pocket, pulling out his phone as he adjusted the cold pack, trying to be sure of the message Roman had sent them. 

"Six I thought, you didn't see the text?" He asked.

"I was sleepin," Dean mumbled, fishing into his own pocket as Seth watched him pull the device out with tired eyes. "Didn't see it."

"Oh well…" Seth shrugged. "Uce booked us a reservation." 

* * *

Around 5:30, Seth got to moving around again and decided to put on a clean tank top, shorts and a snapback that didn't smell too sweaty. Most of his packed wardrobe smelled like the ocean now, but he applied some fresh deodorant and rallied Dean as he called an Uber to pick them up. The restaurant _Blue Heaven_ was back on the western part of the Key, around the spot he'd been shopping all day. With some ice on his knee and the thought of a beer waiting for him with good food, Seth easily climbed into the Chevy Malibu and scooted over so Dean could join him in the backseat.

"It's Seth Rollins," he confirmed with the driver, fixing his seatbelt quickly. She nodded and they were off, moving slowly through the stop lights. When they arrived, it was a little confusing as neither of them were sure which building was correct. Everything just looked residential, until Seth smelled food and saw Roman sitting at a tiny table. He was mired in palms and drinking a large mixed drink, and Seth laughed as he could see chickens clucking and looking for scraps. 

"Leave it to you to find us a place that's literally just like eating in our backyard," Seth said, after they'd come through the gate and sat down on the little lawn chairs. "How did you find this?"

"I just googled it, but I walked over to see if it was cool," Roman explained, looking at both of them with a sort of uncomplicated enthusiasm. "Tomorrow's our last night. Did you still want to do a fancy dinner?"

"How fancy?" Dean asked, taking off his sunglasses and grating the chair against the ground with an awkward noise as he moved closer. 

"Like, we should wear dress shirts," Roman said, with a hopeful lilt to his voice, "But probably not ties. It'll be my last big treat if you want." 

"I'm down, I packed a shirt," Seth said, adjusting his forehead as his hat was making him sweat. His cheek still felt a little weird from Dean's earlier elbow attack, and Roman seemed to notice the slight swelling, making a face. "Dean battered me," he joked, gesturing toward him right as the waitress rounded the corner with a large Pina Colada. "It was on accident though."

"You started it," Dean muttered playfully and Roman raised an eyebrow, pointing between the two for a drink order. The waitress paused, looking expectant and Dean blinked. "Oh uh, I'll have a beer." 

"Me too," Seth added, prodding his cheeks and feeling the difference in the swollen side. As soon as the waitress was out of sight, he continued. "It was dumb, but basically I surprised him and he accidentally decked me in the face."

"Oof," Roman grunted, taking a drink off of his new glass. "Well… I don't know if I did anything quite as exciting…"

It was interesting to hear how Roman and Dean had spent their time and Seth listened on, very aware that his cheeks were strained not only from blunt force trauma, but smiling as well. Dean had apparently visited some sort of medium, mostly on accident, and went into vague detail about getting his tarot cards interpreted. Roman on the other hand was shy and a little embarrassed about talking with his sister and meandering around to shop, similar to Seth's own day. His interest piqued grotesquely as he wondered what Roman's phone conversations might be about, but before he could inquire, Dean began badgering him about the gift Seth had hinted at earlier.

"He bought us stuff," Dean blabbed as Seth drank deeply from a margarita the waitress had just brought him. "Well, he bought me stuff, I dunno about you."

"Aww," Roman said fondly, watching him blush deeper. "You shouln've!"

"It was spur of the moment!" Seth said, giving Dean a little playful nudge. "I… um… I don't wanna tell you guys just yet. But I think you'll like it. Everything's just been so great… this whole thing." Seth paused, not really wanting to launch into a whole speech. "I've never really had this much fun on an outing like this, like… every day has been a blast and I keep thinking I'm gunna run out of happy or something." 

"That's a legit concern," Dean nodded knowingly, drinking from his own long island iced tea. "Yeah… i mean, I ain' done nothing like this before either. I feel like this was my first real vacation, like a whole week and not just a couple days." Seth watched him stir his drink, thoughtfully. "Really cool,"

"I love you both," Roman said, clearly having the time of his life, listening to such a consistent stream of compliments. "Maybe next year we can go to Mexico or something, or Hawaii. My mom is like an expert at finding really good cruises for low prices. Whatever you guys want." 

"Maybe," Seth said, a little overwhelmed at the possibility of doing something like this next spring break. It was just so…  _ lavish _ . "I liked this though 'cause we could like… go wherever we wanted an do our own thing. Just felt… really free, yeah?"

"Of course," Roman said. Dean grinned for a moment and sat up higher in his seat, mimicking Roman's body posture.

" _ Whatever you want babes _ ," he said in a low, distinct impression of Roman's voice, making the man blush scarlet and laugh hard. " _ Yessir, no prob here _ ."

"You just, you just close your eyes-" Seth laughed wiping his eyes, "It's perfect. Spot on."

"You know you love me," Roman muttered, finishing his drink and sighing. 

Dean ordered some appetizers to share, but for this own entree, Seth treated himself to a Filet Mignon that would top off his decadent day. He told himself that all the walking had done away with most of the sugary coffee and the donut he'd eaten earlier. But sitting next to his boyfriends, sampling each other's meals and laughing into their drinks, Seth wasn't consumed with thoughts of food or physical activity. His beard was growing overlong and his skin was a little dry and rosy, but he was having the most fun he'd had maybe in his whole life. It was going to be hard to have to go back to work, but Seth also thought he wanted to go home just to share his adventures with his friends. Once he was back in Orlando, he thought about writing his family a nice letter to stick with the care package, sure that they would appreciate the gesture. It was about to be Easter after all, and although Seth wasn't lamenting any opportunity to miss church, he felt sorry about not being able to eat his mother's spring ham.

Roman's wandering hand pulled him out of his head and he grinned, chest softening as his boyfriend stroked his knuckles softly. Paired with the many drinks and the atmosphere, everything felt perfect. More drinks arrived, then his steak, and Seth became acutely aware that his hands were getting clumsy, almost knocking his knife off the tiny table with a clatter as he set it down forcefully. Roman grinned, and Seth licked his lips, holding back a faint hiccup.

"Did you guys want anything else?" The waitress asked politely, stopping by their two pushed together tables to check in. Dean patted his chest and looked mischievous, eyes bright.

"Three shots of rum? And then the bill?" Dean said, Seth let off a low whining moan and Roman sighed, rubbing his eyes. "Where's the potty at?"

"You know I'll put'out even if I'm not a mess, yeah?" Seth mumbled, following Dean to the bathroom and blinking hard to keep his vision straight. Dean turned to him at the urinal but snickered as Roman came in as well, a few steps behind them but already messing with his fly. 

"You get lonely?" Dean asked, laughing as Roman butted up against him and made to use the same urinal, flicking his pants down just enough to free his cock. 

"Yeah I was  _ lonely _ ," Roman snorted "And full of piss. Were you picking this one up?" He looked at Dean carefully, but Seth had to laugh at the blush of confusion that honeyed his expression. 

"Yeah yeah…" Dean said scratching his stomach and sliding his dick back in his pants. "I'll pay."

"I think-" Roman said, retreating and maintaining a safe distance as another person came in the bathroom and made a bee-line for the stall, ignoring them. "We should go take a picture at the southernmost point. We didn' take a good photo of all of us yet."

"We took one on the boat the other day," Dean mumbled, wetting his hands but not really bothering with soap. Seth just watched them dumbly go back and forth, simply enjoying the two of them bantering on. 

"Yeah but like, a  _ cute _ one or somethin'," Roman whined, waving his hands. "Fine forget it, whatever."

"No let's do it!" Seth said, trying to be encouraging and blushing a little further as his voice crackled high. Roman smiled and Dean just shrugged ambling after them. Back at their table, the waitress came by just in time to hand them three shots and Seth grimaced, throwing the clear liquor to the back of his throat and shaking his head hard. He knew his body was going to hate him in the morning, but he didn't care at the moment, slumping back into his seat and staring up at the string lights in the palm trees, tinkling faintly as chickens clucked around by his feet. Everything was wonderful and bright and warm.

"You ready to go babe?" Dean asked of him a few minutes later. Seth's eyes lazily tracked the credit card disappearing into wallet again. He nodded, adjusting the hat on his head and moving his feet. The best thing about being drunk was not feeling his knee or his sunburn at all. He almost felt normal, shuffling after Roman, who seemed to know the way best.

"This's so much fun," Seth said simply, walking nice and slow and reaching out for Roman's hand. Grinning, he accepted it and Seth actually pulled himself fearlessly closer. Roman squeezed his hand back and Dean watched, also smiling. "I wanna tell you guys what I got you today…"

"Oh yeah?" Dean jeered, keeping pace with the two and almost tripping on his own feet. The closer they walked to the main road, the more they could hear other drunken, happy voices, calling and walking in the street. At the intersection down the road, cars honked as people jaywalked, laughing and hollering. 

"Yeah," Seth mumbled, forcing Roman to walk even slower as he held tighter to his arm, one hand encircling his wrist while the other found it's way to the inside of his elbow, like an octopus. "You're gunna  _ love  _ it."

"Somethin' sexy?" Roman asked curiously, Seth just felt his mouth smile wide. He probably looked really stupid, but for the moment, nobody seemed to care. Dean yelled exuberantly and crossed the street to patronize a food truck. Roman and Seth paused, swaying on the spot as he returned with a big pineapple, cut to serve as a giant mixed drink. 

"Those are good, aren't they?" Roman laughed, watching Dean's face light up at the taste from his straw. Seth reached out, half blind, looking to try it. Dean snorted, assisting him with putting the straw between his lips. The shot had hit him hard and the juice from the pineapple just tasted like sugar water. Seth couldn't detect alcohol anymore and he just shrugged, numb to his senses.

"It's just another block," Roman said, patting Seth's arm and pointing down the street to a rounded out area of red brick. A few benches lined the area and as Seth squinted, making out a large red, black and yellow monument with a handful of people taking photos. They made their way down and as they walked, Seth let go of Roman to hover over to Dean, hopefully. He had this blurry vision in his mind of all three of them holding hands, a firm red rover unit moving down the sidewalk.

"Can we all…?" Seth asked stupidly, reaching out to Dean with one hand and to Roman with the other. "Everybody."

Without a fight, Dean took his hand and Seth purred, feeling Roman's palm in his left and Dean's to his right. They were all sweaty, and Dean hugged his pineapple to his front to drink from, and Seth suddenly remembered what he'd been talking about.

"I bought sexy underwear," he blurted out, looking to each of his boyfriend's for a reaction. "Like, girly panties."

"You did what now?" Dean said, raising his eyebrows from beneath his sunglasses. Roman chuckled, squeezing his hand. 

"I bought a bunch. There was a sale," Seth hiccuped, blinking hard and suddenly feeling a little stupid for placing himself in the middle of the three. They couldn't walk very fast and he kept stumbling a little from having to walk in a narrow line. "Sexy stuff."

"Fuck, okay," Dean murmured, bringing his and Seth's hands down to his waistband to try to adjust his dick with a single finger. Seth let out a flustered laugh and knew they were probably getting stares. It was exhilarating though, to walk down the street without any inhibitions. 

Roman's idea for a photo at the southernmost marker probably looked better in theory than in practice, but it was a nice thought. Dean produced one of the disposable cameras and a kind older woman helped take photos with their phones and the film roll. Without really bothering with any framing, Roman stood right in the middle, blocking out most of the words on the large marker, while Seth was cradled up under his arm, smiling drunkenly with his fly aways sticking to his face. Dean was on the left hand side, giving a thumbs up and holding his pineapple aloft like a trophy he'd won. 

"Do one where you make out and I'll drink my fruit," Dean laughed. Seth felt like he was in a dream and with all caution thrown to the wind, Roman leaned down and stuck his tongue right in his mouth. The woman taking the photo yelled hysterically and everyone in the vicinity cheered and wolf whistled, similarly intoxicated.

"You guys are so  _ cuuute _ !" A white girl in a straw hat cried out, nearly spilling her own pineapple drink as she hastened to run up to them. "Will you take a photo with me?" 

" _ We  _ want a photo!" One rather jockish looking guy called at the back, mocking the girl and pointing to one of their friends who looked hugely embarrassed. "It's his birthday!" 

"Look what you've done," Roman said, accusing Dean. For a few moments, they amused the group of tourists middling around the marker, but Seth felt relieved when Roman pulled out his phone, squinting at the device to call a ride.

"Does this look right?" he slurred, rubbing his eyes again. "Fuck, I think I need more food..."

"We just ate," Seth laughed, sitting on the pavement where Dean had plopped down, leaning on his boyfriend's arm. "Fuck… food does sound good though."

He knew he was being completely over the top, leaning on Dean and promptly falling right into his boyfriend's lap like a neglected pet, but Dean didn't seem to mind, pushing the brim of Seth's hat so it wasn't poking him uncomfortably. From this angle, all Seth could see was the side of Dean's cheek and the blackening night sky, still holding onto the last bits of sunlight. Seth squinted and thought he could see stars, but he was too drunk to be sure. All around them, people were laughing and talking and stomping around, but he could also hear the ocean, lapping up against the barrier, calm and quiet. 

"You good?" Dean asked, leaning down and looking at him in his lap. The angle made his face look weird, harder to be recognized, upside down. With half lidded eyes, Seth nodded his head, content.

"Mmyah," he grunted. "Very very."

* * *

Getting in an Uber and taking some time to stay still seemed to only contribute to Seth's drunkenness as they wobbled home through the fresh, dark night. Leaning into his boyfriend's for comfort, Roman helped pull him from the middle seat, standing up straight against the car, inspecting him carefully.

"Haven' seen you think drunk since like…  _ Halloween _ ," Roman chuckled. Seth let out a nasally groan and blinked hard. He had to walk down a flight of stairs to get to the dock. The wood paneled walkways were wide enough so he didn't feel scared for his balance, but Seth wished he could just be in bed, clothes off, not worried about anything at all.

"Mmm, White Party was'a lot too," Dean mumbled as the Uber drove away. Seth blinked hard again, watching the stream of light dance as the tail lights faded away. "Do you wan' me to carry you in?"

"Wha?" Seth said, blinking and annoyingly aware that his eyes weren't working in tandem anymore. He could walk. Kind of. It was just hard. "I… got it… just make sure I don' fall…"

Inside, he collapsed in the bedroom as Dean and Roman shotgunned beers in the kitchen. He couldn't really conceive of drinking anymore, much more content to just let his brain hum happily as he sprawled across the cool mattress, slowly shirking off his clothes. With a yank, Seth tugged off his hat and let his hair out of it's bun, cascading around his shoulders in a poofy mess. His face was hot, his skin sunburned and his dick was half hard and stupid, resting across his thigh. 

"Deeeeeean-ooooo," he called, giggling at the sound of his own voice, croaking against the pillow. "Uuuuuuceyyyy." 

Both Dean and Roman let out hard laughs and Seth grinned into the sheets, perking his hips up so his boyfriends would have to see ass, high in the air, greeting them. Roman mumbled something and then both men could be heard talking. After what he thought was a few minutes, Seth got up, impatient they were taking so long. 

"I'm falling asleeeeep," he whined, leaning on the wall of the kitchen and squinting hard against the lights. Dean and Roman both had their shirts off and drinking from cans. Dean had his Four Loko out and both of them raised their drinks in salute.

"Where are these panties at?" Dean inquired, looking around. "I need to see."

"Oh yah," Seth mumbled, forgetting his own gift. He stumbled to the helm where he'd left the bags and Roman steadied his arm, looking down at him seriously.

"You okay babe?" he asked, "I don't want you to fall and break yourself."

"He already did that once today, 's fine," Dean laughed, instantly quieting as Seth began tossing stringy black lace from out of the bag, letting the panties flop onto the floor as though he was spreading chicken treats. Roman let out a low whoop and Dean stooped, picking up a pair and holding them above his head triumphantly.

"Just  _ black _ ?" he sighed, suppressing some gas in his throat. "C'mon man,"

"'S all they had," Seth lied, letting Roman pull him back to his feet. "We can all.. Wear 'em…"

His recollections of the night became increasingly hazy and he couldn't tell the time as they boat swayed with their footsteps, rocking them into the bedroom while Roman struggled to put music on, consumed with his phone. 

"'S dead," he mumbled, striding back out to the living space and returning empty handed. "Bout to die..."

"Whatever," Dean said, tossing a pair of panties at Seth's chest and stripping out of the rest of his clothes. "Put'm on. I wanna get 'em all dirty."

Seth remembered getting the panties over his thighs and then Dean was kissing him, laying beside him and putting one hand on the lace, tracing the patterns. What usually might have been ticklish was scarcely sensed and Seth moaned into his boyfriend's mouth, hardly aware of what was happening. Dean's mouth tasted like a sugary drink and his lips were cool against Seth's warm face. Drool was collecting in both their beards and Dean groaned, putting the other hand in Seth's hair, pulling hard in a series of short tugs.

He didn't know when Roman became included, but at one point his ass had started to feel wet and he peaked one eye open to see Roman's huge tan back bent over, kissing his ass and getting him prepped and ready. Dean's dick was hard and pressing into his leg and Seth gulped, faintly aware that he probably wasn't very clean downstairs. 

"Mm' fine," Dean muttered, stealing his mouth back and pressing his whole tongue in, deep and wet. Seth moaned and found Dean's chest with his hands, smoothing the faintly fuzzy surface. He began to feel slightly dizzy with his eyes closed, but keeping them open was very difficult as well. Roman and Dean were talking and if Seth hadn't felt so comfortable, he would have been a little concerned for how drunk he was. He _ did  _ want to be fucked, and he knew his boyfriend's would only do what they thought he could take at the moment. Feeling this numb, Seth giggled at the thought of trying to put both of them inside him at the same time. His own dick was hardly capable of staying erect, leaking pre-come without any bite.

He heard Roman and Dean falter and Seth blinked, realizing nobody was making out with him anymore.

"What?" he mumbled, hiccuping hard for effect. 

"You okay?" Roman asked, smoothing his thigh with a hand. "You're pretty sleepy babe."

"Mm fine," Seth whined, grasping at Dean's crotch and swatting his thigh. "Put… a dick… in me…"

Roman tried first and put up a valiant effort, easing his way in and riding Seth from the side for a few minutes. Seth was barely conscious to the stretch or the pressure, but even he knew that Roman was just a little too drunk to put out the way he wanted. Every few moments, he sighed slightly, slowly rolling his hips back and forth and eliciting little moans that fell out of Seth's mouth thoughtlessly. Dean was pumping his own dick and pushing Seth's hair back, apparently amused by how fluffy it was. Whenever he could flicker his eyes open to catch sight of his boyfriend's hands, pressing against his chest or Dean looking on pleasurably, he let out a little sigh. But all he could hear was the little lap of water outside, pushing against the boat, and Roman's hard breaths working up a sweat against his ass. 

"Maybe… not…" Roman sighed, pulling back and leaving Seth feeling vacant and hollow. He winced as he struggled to keep from making a strange noise, hoping they weren't making a mess on someone else's sheets. 

"This is my kinda job," Dean said cooly and Seth blinked open in time to see his boyfriend lubing up his hugely hard dick, stroking it calmly. 

"Fuckin' mad man," Roman said, falling back on the bed and jostling them all with a huge flump. "Lunatic."

"Bussy master," Dean snorted and Seth opened his eyes, disgusted.

"No callin' it that," he whined, wiggling his way around as Roman pulled Seth onto his chest, kissing his cheek. Their hair became tangled together and Seth fully relaxed, back to front over the wide tattooed expanse of Roman's chest. His only points of contact were skin and Dean tapped his dick against Seth's bottom, making him groan. His awareness percolated around the hardness against his ass and the panties around his hips were shifted again as Dean plunged forth, direct where Roman was been mostly soft, but well intentioned. 

Fucking Dean drunk was sort of like coming home in a sense. The very first time they'd had sex it, Seth had been similarly wasted, thought a lot more self conscious and shy. It had been less than a year ago, but back then, Seth had been much more reserved and quiet in bed, hyper aware of his body hair and the shape of his balls and the size of his dick. Now, he was only able to comprehend the prickle of Dean filling him up and Seth had to close his eyes, feeling Roman propping his legs and whispering in his ear. 

"I got you babe, you're good," he sighed, kissing into Seth's sideburns and patting his side softly. "You like when he fucks y'like that?"

Seth groaned, barely able to comprehend Roman's dirty talk. He seized as Dean slapped his ass hard, intensifying his pace and brushing right up against his spot, hitting gold. Seth let out a high whine several times, screwing up his face before he realized Roman's ear was right there, probably ringing from the noise. His boyfriend didn't seem to care though and as Dean grunted and shoved along, Roman helped push Seth's hips back and forth like a piston, doing the work for him. It was  _ so _ fucking good, but Seth wasn't capable of being present for half of it, letting his mouth fall open and his eyes cross, falling apart. 

"Tell 'im," Roman counseled, fluffing Seth's hair. "Let him know,"

Seth cried as Dean went for double time, draping himself over his back and dripping sweat everywhere, all three of their heads were close now and Seth simply let his mouth open so Dean could punch the sound out with every hit.  _ Ho-lee-fu-ck-ing-g-god- _

He gasped as he felt like he was coming, but his dick was soft, leaning his stomach and leaking without any sort of productivity. His guts clenched and Dean seemed to feel it too, gasping as shuddering as Seth's insides squeezed, fluttering like hummingbirds wings. It was so hard and so different, without any real peak or burst of fluid that Seth felt his teeth chatter and his eyes wet. Dean pushed him down for a moment, centering a hand in his back before Roman held up his own hand, giving Dean something better to push on. 

"You gunna come?" Seth heard Roman ask Dean, but he was barely aware of anything happening now, his stomach writhing with a dry orgasm that felt like a knuckle punch. His arms shivered and quaked and though he felt warmth in his ass, he wasn't really sure where Dean was anymore, if his prostate was getting poked or not. He hadn't come like this before and hadn't imagined it was possible, drunk as he was. Whatever was happening was making Seth's eyes wet and without warning, he let out a choked sob that sounded horribly loud, even against Roman's neck. Everything immediately stopped and Roman had put a face to his head, pulling open his eye lids.

"Seth babe," he crooned, pushing back his hair and snapping his fingers to get Dean's attention. "Whoa whoa…"

"'M fine," Seth laughed through tears, wiping his nose on his hand. "I just… it's  _ so _ good…"

He was crying, he was fucking sobbing because Dean had bricked in his ass so well that it was leaking out his eyes and it was hilarious. He blinked a few times and through the tears, he could tell Roman was still concerned, but Dean belly laughed, rubbing Seth's ass and pulling out with a wet pop. 

"You _sure_ you're good?" Roman asked, rubbing his own eyes and blinking hard through a smile. Seth just nodded, sure that he looked like a mess. He was so tired and drunk, all he wanted to do was bury himself in Roman and fall asleep, come leaking out of his ass be damned. Dean came in, hovering to inspect the damage and Seth gave him a kiss a sort of tired thanks. The room swam in and out of focus and he heard Dean and Roman talking for awhile, occasionally saying his name and earning a soft 'hhmph', but Seth's eyes began to shut tighter. 

"Did 'omthone wipe'm butt?" he muttered, mostly asleep. He grinned as he heard Roman and Dean laugh, rubbing his shoulder. Seth nuzzled closer, trying to make himself as accessible as possible for cuddling. 

"Yeah, we wiped your butt," someone said. Seth breathed a sigh of relief and blacked out, finally surrendering to the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Continued in the next two chapters from Dean's and Roman's perspectives as well as Part 6


	20. Shield Key [Part: 5 [To the Tune of Dean Ambrose]]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean's day in Key West.

Dean's head pinched slightly as he woke to the sound of Seth catching a snore in his throat, loud from the proximity to his ear, throttling him awake. For a few minutes he laid, eyes closed, listening to the sound of Seth breathing and feeling sunlight warming the blanket that was only covering half his body. The night before, they'd both rolled into bed late and his half-drank beer was still sitting on the nightstand, warm and flat. 

Grinning a little and turning to sit up, Dean sipped from the drink, feeling very relaxed and quiet as Seth's and Roman's snores hummed at both sides of the boat, sounding a lot like a busted air conditioner. In the warm, white sunshine, Seth's hair was shining with light brown highlights, cascading all over the sheets. Acting out of compulsion, Dean reached a hand over and toyed with the dark brown fuzz blossoming down his neck from his overgrown hairline. Seth hummed in his sleep and Dean chuckled, rising to his feet.

Today was supposed to be the day where all of them could go out and do their own thing, but Dean didn't really have much of an idea about how he was going to spend his time. Circling the kitchen in his underwear, Dean traded his beer for water and looked out the window. Footsteps could be heard on the dock and some woman was talking loudly on her phone on the bow of the boat next door, but Dean didn't focus enough to listen. He scratched his beard and grabbed his medication with the usual sort of resignation, popping his pills into his mouth. He sort of wanted a cigarette still, but the craving wasn't as strong and he tapped his thigh with his forefinger instead, thinking. He sort of missed having a dog around to keep him company. Taking walks in the morning was nice. 

"Hey," he mumbled softly, walking over to where Roman was snoring, mouth slightly gaped, one eye half open with the pupil rolled back. Dean smirked and gave the man a little shake, watching his eye flicker and his eye roll back to center. "Hey."

"Mmm," Roman grunted. Dean leaned his knees on the bed, staring back.

"I'm gunna go out," he said, putting his hands in Roman's hair because it felt nice on his fingers. 

"Mm' 'unna do?" Roman asked, blinking and staring fondly up at him. He stretched out his enormous arms, his face pinching from the sensation. 

"I dunno, just walk around and stuff." Dean said, squeezing Roman's hand. "I'll grab my phone. I dunno... I just thought you'd wanna know."

"I do wanna know," Roman hummed, falling back and shutting his eyes again as he turned the pillow over. "Love you."

"Love you too," Dean said, making a kissing sound with his mouth and walking up. Roman probably wouldn't have sent him some exasperated text asking where he'd gone, but Dean knew that Roman really liked everything being explained to him and stuff. Seth wasn't usually hung up and such shit, but Dean had to chuckle slightly as he returned to the bedroom to change and found his other boyfriend completely sprawled out, taking full advantage of his formerly occupied space and snoring nasally. 

_ When the fuck have I been the early riser?  _ Dean thought, walking to the back of the boat and grabbing the blue bike. Seth was always slow and out of it after drinking though. Roman just liked sleeping in.

Just like the last few mornings, the front bike tire was flat again and he frowned as he sat on the seat, feeling flat in the saddle. Dean thought he had seen a gas station on their way to the jet ski place, but as he biked up the street, he realized it was just a mini market with a car vacuum and no air pump. Sunglasses on, shrugging hair out of his face, Dean leaned the bike up against the brick side of the store and walked in, shivering at the sudden blast of AC. An old guy stared up at him with a tan face and silver hair, organizing boxes of cigarettes. 

"Hey uh, do you know where there's an air pump for bike tires?" he asked, resisting the urge to get a pack of Parliaments. Looking at the price tag was a pretty good form of discouragement. The old guy smiled nervously, pointing in the direction he'd just come. 

"There's a shell station down the road there, just follow the road about six blocks up, on the left side of the road there."

"Cool, thanks man," Dean nodded, turning on his heel and waving a little. There really wasn't anyone mingling around outside to mess with his bike, and honestly, if someone had stolen it, he would have just laughed anyway. Seeing all the food in the store made his stomach pinch though, and with a sigh, Dean walked back in the store, not bothering to indicate his intentions. The man was probably staring at him but he just slowed, looking at his options and thinking. 

Everything was so goddamn expensive it made him want to puke. His current usual 'brunch' snack, Red Bull and Cheetos poofs were almost seven bucks, and Dean was sure if he went anywhere else it would be about the same. Seth could roll his eyes all he wanted, but Dean never paid nearly as much as his boyfriend's goddamn kombucha or dehydrated fruit crap. Holding the bag of snack food and thinking, Dean sighed, wondering if it was even worth it or not. His eyes gazed down at a pre-packaged sandwich and the selection of ice cream treats. If he was going to blow a bunch of money on a vacation, he was going to do it right.

"Just this," he muttered, dumping a beef sandwich and a Choco-Taco with a Red Bull on the counter. The man nodded silently and rang up the items, making change fast. Quickly eating the goods outside and chugging the drink, Dean tried his best to ignore the weird churning he felt, moving the Red Bull around in his gut as he pedaled the bike. 

Everything was really pretty and he had to tell himself every few feet to just keep pedaling to where he needed to be before he got off to take pictures of stuff. Dean hadn't taken the disposable cameras, but he didn't mind using his phone to snap a picture of the trees and the sky and a man walking around in the gas station, grinning eagerly with a huge fish that he'd caught that morning. 

"Little baby mahi-mahi, yeah? She looks good!" The guy said, holding the fish up eagerly with both hands. It had a weird sort of dinosaur face to it in striking blue and green colors. Dean took a photo quickly, nodding along. He didn't really know much about fish. 

It wasn't until he started biking along on the inner islands streets that he got a taste of some familiar wildlife. Dean nearly crashed his ride as he stopped suddenly by a very tight alleyway. Bobbing in and out of some garbage cans, a rooster was clucking loudly, suspicious of his ride. 

"What the hell are you doing out little man?" he laughed, slumping back in his bike seat to fish through his pocket for his phone. Just as he hoisted out his device, the bird crowed a little and Dean saw another hen, clucking on the opposite side of the road. Chickens were just hanging out in the street, skinnier and smaller than Crispy, Peep 2, Lars or Junior, but chickens nonetheless. It was bizarre, mostly because when Crispy got out it at home, it was a huge ordeal and Dean remembered the days of Roman's hen doing her mission impossible shit, trying to get into the neighbor's yards. These chickens didn't appear to be anyone's pets, and as Dean leaned closer, they were skittish, clucking and running away fast. 

"Man whatever," Dean said, sidling his bike down the alley at a slow pace, looking for more birds. 

Whether he wanted to admit it or not, he was getting sunburned in the next hour, riding along the streets, hearing music from street performers and baking in the open sun. He didn't really have Seth or Roman to get all of the hard to reach spots on his neck and back that were frying around the edge of his tank top, but Dean vaguely remembered Roman having spray-on sunscreen at one point. The weird coconut-banana smell aside, Dean scanned the windows of a few stores, wondering if there was a Walgreens around.

"You know if there's someplace I can get sunscreen?" He asked walking into a shop and asking a woman with long, blonde hair. She half smiled, looking at him in a way that made him feel kind of hot.

"We have some here with a more natural zinc oxide and essential oils," she said sweetly, pointing to some tiny bottles without any sort of distinct labeling. Dean blinked, taking off his sunglasses. 

"How much is it?" Dean asked, feeling his nose pinch a little. The whole place smelled really… fruity… and he was sure he didn't want any crazy smells on him. The woman seemed to already know he wasn't very interested, but continued anyway, holding up a few bottles. 

"I like this one a lot, I've got sensitive skin and it's got lavender," She said, her bracelets clanking around. "But maybe you're more of a Sandalwood guy. We're doing a special today if you're interested! If you want to do a basic tarot reading, you'll get a discount on all of our lotions, oils and home remedies."

"How much is that?" Dean asked, withdrawing. He didn't want to get his palm read really, but he also was sure he didn't have much else to do that day. The place was air conditioned and he didn't give a shit about the bike, leaning on the building in the alleyway. An ornate clock on the wall with chimes attached to the bottom said it was almost 11:00. Plenty of time to do… whatever tarot was. 

"A basic reading is forty and these bottles are twenty, ten with the discount. It's a really good deal!" She added on quickly, probably seeing his face pinch. "Have you ever wondered about the future?" 

"Uh… not really," Dean said, looking around the shop. When he first walked in, he'd thought the place just sold candles and soap or something. He might have been more interested in that, seeing as how Luna and Sherri had talked about teaching him about essential oils. But the more he looked around, Dean realized the place had a sort of religious or spiritual link that he hadn't noticed on first glance. There were books about witchcraft, crystals and Egyptian gods on a shelf. On one side of the store, there was a basin full of little stones and statues lined the wall with naked women. 

Weird shit, basically.

"Y'all got a bathroom?" Dean asked, deciding. "If I can use it, I'm in."

The woman smiled and showed him to the back. Dean had to laugh at a weird painting of a naked chick with a hairy crotch, throwing snakes at a bunch of old guys in the corner of the frame. Washing his hands hastily, he came out and was immediately led into a second room, which smelled even more annoyingly like strong perfume and plants. Dean wasn't really allergic to anything, but the smell made the room feel warmer and more stifling. An older man sat down at a table, coming behind a beaded curtain and he was instructed to sit. As rude as it was, Dean couldn't help laughing a little. 

"'m sorry," Dean said quickly, waving and tapping his thigh again. "I don't really do this stuff."

"From out of town?" The man asked, holding out his hand. He had very light, short blonde hair and was wearing a gold, silk robe. In his other hand, he was holding a gold stack of cards. Dean nodded and shook the man's hand, trying not to make the situation any weirder than it was. "My name is Dustin Rhodes. My wife said you just wanted the basic reading, correct?"

"Yeah man… I mean… it's no big deal." Dean said, rolling his hips a little in the chair, trying to get comfortable in the strange wicker. "Not to be a jerk or nothin', but I don't really believe in this stuff. I don't have anythin' against it or whatever, just…"

"That's alright," The man said simply, shuffling the cards without looking and giving Dean a long stare. "It's not really about determining the future or anything of that sort, Dean. Tarot is about intuition and  _ change _ ." 

Dean blinked before he remembered he'd told the lady up front what his name was before he went to the bathroom. Dustin smiled and nodded, continuing to shuffle the cards. "I like to do a pyramid spread for basic readings, it usually presents a good amount of choice and if you become enchanted enough to look into a more specific question, or perhaps a year spread, it's a good opening for such avenues…"

Dean had no idea what he meant, but in no time, Dustin was fanning all of his cards out with expert speed and instructing him to place cards on the table in a pyramid formation. The table was lit with a single sharp light and the backs of the cards were such a striking gold they made they table look black by comparison. Slowly, Dustin turned the cards over in the spread, showing a wide range of illustrations in similarly bright colors. Dean's nose tickled and he pushed his chair back in time to sneeze into his armpit sharply, not upending the cards.

"There's a lot here." Dustin said simply as though Dean hadn't sneezed violently. "Very interesting." 

"Got a tissue?" Dean laughed, holding his elbow to his face in order to remain polite. Distracted, Dustin produced a small pack of pocket tissues. Dean didn't really know what to make of the way the guy was holding his chin, but when he'd finally wiped his face, Dustin looked to him more kindly, as though they were now more properly introduced. 

"So, I'm seeing a lot of contrasts here, a lot of change and some things that you're going to want to be more observant of as you're moving ahead with some of your decisions. Did you just get a new job?" 

"Uh. No." Dean said shortly, thinking with annoyance to the position at work he hadn't been able to fill. However, Dustin didn't seemed deterred. 

"A new volunteer position? A new hobby?" he prodded. Dean blinked, scratching at his chin for a moment.

"I mean,  _ kind  _ of." He said, thinking of Luna and Sherri. They'd agreed to meet after Easter once they were all back home and settled into their routines again. Dean was sort of hoping that after the fundraiser he could go to the farmer's market and do a day with them at their booth. Dustin nodded, almost winking. 

"I think you should be really excited about that, because it's going to be a really good opportunity for you. From what I'm seeing here, it could be the sort of thing you can lose yourself in, and when other areas of your life begin to stress you out, it will help you a lot."

"...Okay…" Dean mumbled, tapping his thigh. He didn't really know what the fuck tarot was and the experience wasn't creeping him out, but he supposed he was glad he wasn't being made to pray or something. Dustin continued on, pointing at the top card in the pyramid. 

"You've got the three of cups here, which is really marvelous card." Dean stared at the image of three men, all toasting each other with goblets, wearing long robes in some sort of garden. "From what I'm seeing in this spread, it's almost like  _ healing  _ for you. You've got community right now, this is your signifier card where you see yourself in a spot that maybe you haven't been before. You're able to voice your ideas and celebrate with your friends." Dustin tapped the card again. "Your love life is mostly good at the moment, you're really enjoying yourself and you're just kind of honoring this harvest that's the product of a lot of hard work."

"Aight," Dean chuckled, settling back in his seat and crossing his arms. "Sure." Dustin smiled.

"Now, the second row here is sort of what's interpreted as your past, say," he continued, rubbing his nose for a moment and leaning in. Dean still thought his stare was rather strange, and focused his eyes to the illustrations on the cards Dustin was pointing at. "The eight of swords," he tapped the first card with a blindfolded woman, surrounded by daggers. "And the five of pentacles." A card with several stars and men standing beneath them. "I'd hazard to guess you probably haven't had an easy time of it? The suit of swords usually deals with the psyche and emotional states, whereas the pentacles usually describe material wealth and comforts. Together, what I'm seeing is a general amount of distress. Maybe instability or chaos. People that were supposed to be there for you in your life maybe didn't provide you with what you needed?"

Hearing the words wasn't painful really, but Dean hadn't expected to hear them from a total stranger. Dustin, this weird random guy in the back of some witchcraft shop with his weird robes and old lined face was pretty easy to dismiss on a surface level. But Dean felt as though the man was staring through him, blinking slowly and reading his mind in some way. 

"Mmyeah," Dean admitted, shrugging fast and wondering what the hell he was supposed to say. "What else?"

"Quite a lot, actually." Dustin continued, smiling in a sort of smug way. "I don't mean to defeat you, and these cards are speaking much more to growth and evolution than a sorry past." he pointed to the tier with three cards, under the ones he'd just described. All together, these cards are very interesting and reference what I'm seeing up here-" he pointed again to the three of cups. "Whatever you might have lost or maybe never had to begin with, you're sort of working toward it now and trying to cultivate this sense of belonging. You just have to make sure that whatever sense of anger or loss you might have had from here-" he pointed to the swords and pentacles. "Doesn't break that down, if that makes sense."

"The devil," Dean read, looking right at the third card in the third row and raising an eyebrow. "Why all the bad shit?"

"Not bad! The devil is often misinterpreted. It's meaning has changed over time as well." Dustin said, tapping the card with his ringed pinky. "For you, the devil may mean old habits. This row is sort of your present or your current behaviors and beliefs." Dustin tapped a card that read _ Temperance _ in swirling letters. "You have two major arcana cards, which are in a sort of contrast. Like I said earlier, you have a lot of conflict in your spread."

"Huh…" Dean said, laughing nervously again. "I'm a lover not a fighter."

"But perhaps you say and mean different things?" Dustin tried, "Maybe you struggle to be yourself? You are insecure at times or struggle with your emotions?"

Dean didn't have anything to say to that, but rather licked his lips, feeling that his mouth was dry. He wished he had some water. Dustin rubbed his own knuckle, taking a moment to pause, but Dean didn't provide any indication of understanding. 

"Temperance is about balance, and I imagine that after experiencing a lot of chaos or upheaval, you're trying to keep yourself level. If you feel a little unbalanced currently, Temperance is here to remind you that you'll come to a more neutral state soon. Paired with the seven of swords-" Dustin pointed to the card between the temperance and devil cards. "I'd say you maybe struggle to find balance with others, but I'd also issue a warning-"

"Yeah?" Dean asked, narrowing his eyebrows. Dustin paused dramatically, nodding.

"You probably are already very careful with your trust, and it's to your benefit. You may need to watch your back with some of the people around you. Someone might just be bugging or annoying you, but looking ahead, there is some upheaval for you and you'll definitely want to keep yourself safe." 

"Mmm," Dean said, grinning a little. The whole thing was kind of stupid really, but he could see why some people were really into this stuff. It… sort of made sense what the guy was talking about, regarding the shit about having a shitty childhood and feeling more secure presently. But Dean couldn't help imagining someone trying to mug him on the street and the whole altercation becoming some kind of Bruce Lee stunt scene. 

"You're already careful with your words and your heart, just make sure you don't keep yourself too closed when it's important." Dustin advised. Dean actually laughed out loud. 

"But don't get stabbed in the back," Dean said, shaking his head. "Right."

"Anticipate some  _ chaos _ ," Dustin amended. "A lot of conflict, like I said. Contrasts. Your fourth row is complicated as well. We've got challenges, but also profit and comfort." Dustin pointed to a card that said  _ The Tower  _ and  _ The Moon _ . "Your future looks to be muddied with controversy. Change and upheaval, but benefit and reward if you can get through it." 

"Okay... why so many swords?" Dean snorted, pointing at a card that said  _ The Ace of Swords  _ across the bottom. Dustin pushed the card forward. 

"This card is better than the previous sword cards, it bodes well at least." He pushed the  _ 10 of Pentacles _ card ahead as well. "A new start, if you're willing to work for it. Perhaps a lot more stability in your financial situation as well. Maybe you'll get a new job or experience a windfall? But only if you can work hard and keep yourself from falling into old habits. I feel as though we have a fork in the road here- you can choose to make the best of a bad situation and grow into a better life, or you might be stifled by your own hesitations and fears. This-" he pointed to the  _ Three of Cups _ again, and Dean suddenly felt strange, realizing that himself, Seth and Roman were a sum of three. "You want this as it is _now_ , but it will change." 

It didn't make a whole lot of sense, especially since the strange man was foretelling doom and gloom and extra cash in the same breath. Dean sighed, drumming his fingers on the table and surveying the spread as Dustin produced the remainder of his deck of cards, fanning the gold papers out again for him to take. 

"One last one, to help it along," he said in a muffled tone. Dean took a card from the middle and turned it over. It was a picture of a guy strung up by his ankle. 

"Of course, more indecision!" Dustin snickered. "The Hanged Man. You're about to come to a crossroads, Dean."

"Yeah?" he snorted, setting the card on top of the rest of the spread, feeling at a loss. He didn't want to do any more spreads or readings. "Do I uh... pay you then? Or that other lady?"

With new sunscreen in hand, Dean tried not to think too much about the weird fortune teller or what the tarot cards had meant. While he liked to believe that there was more going on in the world and that the supernatural aspects of it were often more interesting than man-made stuff, he didn't really know what to make of what he'd just paid for. On one hand, Dean thought he might have liked it better if the guy wore a top hat and had a shitty fog machine. But as he biked down the busy road with sunscreen splattered across his neck and back, his thoughts tumbled with what it might mean to get a new job or come into some more money. Sherri and Luna didn't seem like they were made of cash, but it wasn't as though the card reader was really specific about any of that shit. 

The thing that really got him was the bit about being betrayed or hurt by someone close to him, at least that's what Dean had thought the guy meant. Occasionally, usually late at night when he couldn't sleep or when he was in a bad mood and bored with knitting, Dean thought about his family trying to get into regular contact with him again. His sister Crystal was one thing, but Dean was sure he wouldn't really want to talk with his dad if he ever made any effort to acquire his phone number.

He just didn't like thinking about that stuff, and Dean was thankful he was on a bike, pedaling around in the most gorgeous sunshine. It took a few moments, but he realized that if Dustin the tarot dude really was correct about someone  _ close _ hurting him, his family probably didn't even count as close enough. 

Roman probably wouldn't hurt him, he was basically incapable of hurting anyone since he was so goddamn family oriented it made Dean's stomach hurt. They'd known each other for years now, and while Dean would happily go to his grave with the fact that he'd crushed on his friend since he was in a relationship with Daniel, Dean sometimes thought Roman already knew. The fact was, his boyfriend was only ever the most patient and understanding guy, always ready and willing to be helpful should the need arise. Dean had stopped having nightmares about Roman and Seth breaking up with him and running away together since Seth had fucked up his knee and moved into the house. 

It didn't seem possible for Seth to do anything really bad either, as the guy was his default go to for the kind of fun that usually made Roman sigh with exasperation. Sure, it was a little annoying how needy he was sometimes, but Dean found that actually saying  _ I love you _ usually was enough these days. Seth's brown eyes with quiver a little and he'd smile his thin lipped grin and then Dean would pat his butt and he'd be happy. It would be hard for Seth to lie or cheat or do any of the stuff he'd done that had messed up his last relationship with that other guy. They lived together now after all. 

Which sort of left Renee, but Dean didn't think much of that either. The cards were wrong. It was all speculative magic garbage. He'd believe in bigfoot before he thought about fate and shit like that. 

He blinked when he thought he saw Roman, sitting at a bench ahead of him and he slowed down, making a clicking sound with his tongue and pedaling onto the sidewalk. 

"I guess Dean's here, I'll talk to you later," Dean heard Roman say into the receiver. Without thinking, he hopped right off his bike and sat down next to his boyfriend, rather glad to see a familiar face after such a weird morning. A voice on the other end of the phone buzzed high and incoherent, and Roman grinned at him over his sunglasses. 

"Summer says hi," he said, hanging up the phone call and looking to his boyfriend. Dean watching him make a funny face, looking confused. "You wearing perfume or something?"

"Nah, I was in this fortune telling shop trying to by sunscreen and they sold me this-" he said, pulling the bottle of sunscreen out of his pocket to explain. "Smells like flowers. I got my fortune read and they told me everything was going to go horrible but maybe it also might not."

"Huh…" Roman chuckled. "Seen Seth at all?"

"Nope," Dean said, scratching at his face a little and staring down at the bike. "I left first this mornin' and you both were still sleepin'" 

"Just been ridin' around all morning?" Roman asked, tapping the bike with his foot. "I just ate but I we should probably look around for a spot for dinner and seeing if we couldn't reserve a table." 

"I'm fine, been havin' fun." Dean mumbled, looking out to the ocean and the southernmost point. Something about the sun in the corner of his eye made him squint and he let out a soft yawn, mouth gaping. Roman put a hand low on his back, barely visible to anyone else but still kind of weird. Moving his palm back and forth, Dean thought it was sort of uncomfortable with the fabric pressing on his skin, but he didn't say anything. 

"I think I'm gunna go shop for some stuff for my family today too," Roman said, pulling his hand away and smiling in a sort of 'I love you a lot' way. "If you want to join me-"

Before Roman could get all the words out, Dean moaned, sure that he didn't want to follow in Roman's shadow and watch him pace around stores because he couldn't make any choices. Roman rolled his eyes and Dean stifled another yawn. Sitting down, it was really hitting him how much he'd biked that day. 

"You got your phone at least?" Roman asked. "I'll send up a signal in our group chat thing. Maybe you could go get a nap."

"Mmm maybe," Dean said, rubbing his eyes. "That does sound kinda nice."

He got up again and Roman helped figure out what exactly the fastest way back to the boat was. He seemed a little unenthusiastic when they parted ways, but Dean was intent on getting back to the boat before he got too tired to think, sure that he was getting sunburned even after buying the expensive bottle. Thinking about it more carefully, he probably should have asked Roman to help him put it on the spots where he couldn't reach. But Dean was still a little funny about letting his boyfriend touch him in public. Everyone around seemed really cool, but he still hadn't thought about it as a clear option.

It took him almost an hour to get back and he left the bike resting against a light pole, sure that he wouldn't really need to ride it much more anyway. Digging in his pocket, he grabbed the key for the door on the bow and unlocked it, finding a blissful, vacant boat with cool air wafting in from the air conditioner. Dean walked over to the sink and chugged a glass of water before flopping down on the pull out couch eagerly. He just barely remembered to toe out of his shoes, so exhausted he was ignoring his stomach's frantic reminders that he'd skipped lunch. Something about the card reading had really exhausted him. Obviously the biking had worn him out some, but his brain felt tired and sleepy as well, as though he'd thought too much for one day. 

He wasn't really sure what time it was when he woke up, but he startled awake as he felt something hard press against his side and he seized, yelling and throwing back his elbow to connect with something hard that bruised his funny bone. Dean heard a shout and he blinked hard, thrashing to a seated position and finding Seth holding his head and leaning on the bed cursing.

"The fuck ar'ou?" Dean rubbed his side, pissed off. "You jump on me?" 

"I didn't jump on you!" Seth cried out, raising his head and blinking hard. Dean had apparently hit him on the head with his elbow. "I didn't think you were there! You were all caught up in the blankets!"

Dean just stared, watching his boyfriend grumble and make his way to the bathroom, checking out his face in the mirror. Putting a hand to his side, Dean felt where Seth had leaned his weight down on his hand, probably preparing to sink onto the mattress. It was just a mistake, but his heart was beating horribly fast. Sweat from his nap hung on his cheeks and Dean laid back down, burying his face in the pillow and sighing hard. Seth returned from the bathroom after a minute and his cheek was a little puffy, but he was mostly fine. 

"Sorry… if I freaked you out," he admitted, still holding his face in his hand like it might fall off. "I thought you were still gone."

"I'm fine," Dean said, flickering his eyelids open and smirking a little at Seth's puffy cheek. "Got you good, didn't I?"

"Mean elbow," Seth said, looking pouty and reaching out his hands. "Cuddle me. Otherwise I'm not giving you your gift."

"My  _ gift _ ?" Dean blinked, suddenly slightly panicked, trying to remember if he was supposed to buy Seth a gift. He moved over, keeping his face still. "What gift?"

"Your special gift I bought for you today," Seth mumbled, flopping down and coming in to rest his ass right up against Dean's front in a small spoon. Dean grunted, obliging to slide his hand over Seth's chest and hug him closer. "You'll really like it, but you have to cuddle me." 

Cuddling Seth usually meant getting a mouthful of brown and blond hair and Dean nuzzled away the frizzy ends, lightly touching the area where his arm had connected with his face. It was a lot easier to spoon with Seth than Roman, just because Dean was the slimmest of the bunch, but Seth was usually pretty fidgety, readjusting every few seconds. It wasn't Dean's favorite thing to do, but he knew Seth liked it, and was really wondering what the whole business with the gift was about.

"What'd I get?" he asked after a few minutes. Seth had stilled a little and Dean nudged his bun with his forehead. 

"Mm' tell you later," Seth grunted, voice sleepy and quiet. Dean snorted and turned away, pulling his hand out and laughing as Seth spluttered, trying to follow his reach. 

"My arm's fallin' asleep," Dean laughed, pressing Seth on the nose as the man tried to nuzzle into his armpit. The brunette let out a whine and stole the blankets, bunching them up under his body before Dean could get a good grasp on them. It was all rather obnoxious, but Dean laughed, springing up to jump over his boyfriend.

"Dibs on the big bed," he grunted, bursting into laughter as Seth yelled in anger, nearly tripping as he tried to follow. Dean could hear him curse loudly and before he could throw the door shut and plop down onto the bed, he caught of glimpse of Seth's agonized face, holding onto the wall and holding his knee.

Dean stopped in the doorway, looking back. His face fell as Seth seethed and sat back down on the bed, obviously in some kind of pain. Slowly, Dean walked back, blood going cold as he thought he might have hurt Seth's knee in some way as he'd jumped from the pull out couch. He wasn't crying, but it felt as though all the energy was being sucked out of the room.

"You okay?" Dean asked quietly, wanting some kind of confirmation. But as soon as he reached Seth's side, his boyfriend cracked into a huge grin and sprinted across the room, hopping on his good foot. Dean's jaw dropped as he watched Seth slam the door shut and heard him flop down on the mattress. 

"I got dibs!" he cackled through the shut door. "I'm throwing your gift in the ocean!" But Dean had immediately spotted a pile of bags on the floor of the kitchen, obviously from Seth as they hadn't been there earlier in the day. Dean strode over cooly and began shaking the bags.

"What  _ this _ gift?" He croaked vindictively, shuffling the bags loudly so Seth could hear them through the shut door. "I'll just do it for you babe, throw all of this stuff away..."

"NO!" Seth yelled dramatically. Dean grinned as he watched his boyfriend throw the door open again, obviously freaked out. But before he could make his way over, his feet tied together and he  _ really _ tripped, face going white as he fell to the floor in a heap, just barely catching his weight in his hands as a hard SMACK was heard and Dean gritted his teeth watching.

"You… okay…?" he laughed nervously. If Roman was around, he would have been yelling at them to cut it out by now. Seth looked pretty shaken up, his eyes all wide and petrified, but Dean didn't think he was really hurt. The boat shook back and forth from the little shock of energy and Dean walked over as Seth sat up, assessing his leg.

"Time out," Dean called, snickering as he sat down. "You okay or not?"

"It's fine, I'm fine," Seth blushed, embarrassed. "That was dumb."

"Whatever," Dean said, giving Seth's bun a little squeeze. "Can you get up?"

Seth could, but Dean still held out his hand, should he need it. Once he was at his feet again, Seth winced a little, putting weight on his foot, but he didn't seem too freaked out anymore.

"It was like that earlier 'cause I was walking around all day," he assured him, striding over to the pull out couch and sitting back down. "Do you think you could get me a cold pack? We got a bit before dinner."

"When's dinner?" Dean asked, walking to the freezer and grabbing one of the cold packs that had been brought along for the trip. He watched Seth place it over his joint and lay back, patting at his phone in his pocket.

"Six I thought, you didn't see the text?" He asked.

"I was sleepin," Dean shrugged, patting the phone in his pocket that had been there for the whole duration of his nap. "Didn't see it."

"Oh well…" Seth shrugged. "Uce booked us a reservation."

* * *

A little before six, Dean changed into a less dirty shirt and slid into the Uber car that Seth had called to get to the restaurant Roman had picked out. Uce had indeed texted him, but Dean's phone was almost dead and so he just left it charging by the wall of the pull out couch. It didn't really matter anyway since he'd be around the only people that needed to get a hold of him, and he pocketed one of the disposable cameras to take photos if he wanted.

Seth took the time to change into a whole new outfit and Dean thought he smelled nice, pressed together in the back of the car, watching the sun slowly begin to sink to the west, burning a really bright orange. When they arrived at the address, they were a little confused as the place was so small, but Seth spotted Roman at one of the little tables out back and they came in through the gate, peering around. Dean let out a little laugh, smiling wide as he could see chickens bobbing around the tables. The place was perfect. 

"Leave it to you to find us a place that's literally just like eating in our backyard," Seth grinned, sitting down in the seat to the right of Roman while Dean took the left. "How did you find this?"

"I just googled it, but I walked over to see if it was cool," Roman said, looking to both of his boyfriends with a dopey, happy expression. "Tomorrow's our last night. Did you still want to do a fancy dinner?"

"How fancy?" Dean asked, taking off his sunglasses and scooting his chair closer. It was plastic and the legs caught slightly on the uneven brick floor. 

"Like, we should wear dress shirts," Roman said, looking to Dean hopefully, "But probably not ties. It'll be my last big treat if you want." 

"I'm down, I packed a shirt," Seth said, fidgeting with his hat for a moment and blinking his slightly puffy eye carefully. Dean watched as Roman seemed to notice something off about Seth's face and he raised an eyebrow. "Dean battered me," he joked, pointing at him just as the waitress rounded the corner with a new drink for Roman. "It was on accident though."

"You started it," Dean mumbled and Roman gestured from the two of them to the waitress, encouraging them to order. "Oh uh, I'll have a beer."

"Me too," Seth said, poking at his face. As soon as the waitress was out of sight, he kept talking. "It was dumb, but basically I surprised him and he accidentally decked me in the face."

"Oof," Roman sighed, putting his old straw in his new drink and rolling his eyes. "Well… I don't know if I did anything quite as exciting…"

The three went back and forth, talking about what they'd done with the few hours to themselves, and Dean found that he wasn't quite as fidgety, sipping his beer and listening to Seth go off about shopping and Roman's late start getting off of the boat. It had only been a few hours, but since he'd had some time to himself to do his own thing and get really tired and sunburned, Dean kind of felt like he was more interested in sitting quietly and listening to the stuff he'd usually find kind of boring. Just hearing Seth and Roman speak had a sort of calming effect on him. He liked Seth's little stutters and  _ ums  _ as well as Roman's low grumbling that came off as soothing. The beer tasted good after a long, sweaty day and since he'd taken a nap, he felt more energetic than he thought, laughing and quipping back and forth.

"But you got your fortune told," Roman said, pointing to Dean and laughing lightly. "Wasn't that what you said? What's the all about?" 

"Oh yeah," Dean muttered, feeling more pink than his sunburn made him. He didn't really want to launch into the whole weird retelling, mostly because he didn't remember what all the cards meant and he felt stupid for even doing it in the first place. If he'd just walked to a drug store, his whole day would have been a lot less eventful and a lot cheaper. 

"Basically I had to get my fortune told to get some sunscreen." Dean said, shrugging and drinking off his beer. "It was weird."

"How does that work?" Seth laughed. Dean sighed and explained how he'd been suckered into the deal, shuffled into the back room and made to choose tarot cards that apparently foretold his future and sort of explained his past.

"You guys never done nothing like that, right?" Dean asked, frowning. Roman and Seth shook their heads. "I dunno, I don't believe it at all, but it was definitely weird."

"But what did he say? The guy?" Roman asked, Dean just shrugged again, looking to the table surface as shifting his tongue around in his mouth.

"I don't really remember, he said it all fast," Dean muttered, lying and crossing his arms. "He said some stuff about how I gotta watch my back, but if I try really hard I'll make money or something. It was all really unclear."

"Well they gotta make it really vague so it ends up coming true in  _ some  _ way," Seth laughed, spilling a little beer in his beard and quickly mopping it up with a napkin. "All that stuff is fake anyway."

"Yeah s'what I'm sayin," Dean muttered, drinking from his beer again. Once the waitress returned, he ordered some appetizers for the table and a Tennessee cheeseburger for himself, complete with some herb roasted potatoes and pickles. He watched Roman and Seth flirt shamelessly for a little while and felt just as clueless and lost as any other time they did so. Dean never really felt left out as he didn't really get the appeal of mindless, nervous touching, but he did worry sometimes that because he didn't partake as readily, Roman and Seth would feel weird or sad. 

An order of barbecue shrimp seemed to keep them all on the same page, and they just about cheered when the food came out. 

"Oh man, that's something," Seth said, eyes gleaming at the plate as the waitress set it down. "Thanks a bunch Dean-o."

"Yeah thanks babe," Roman said, pressing his own foot around Dean's under the table. Dean just shrugged, grabbing a little bite of cornbread and popping it in his mouth hungrily. It was the least he could do. He'd snacked a little on the last bits of cheese crackers before he'd left, but other than that, he'd forgotten to eat. Because of that, his second drink was hitting him quickly, but he still swallowed large sips, enjoying the feeling of numbness in his legs that were strained from biking.

"These are delicious," Seth noted, licking sauce off his fingers from the shrimp and staring down at the platter that was emptying fast. Dean licked his own lips, feeling the strange compulsion to feel Seth's fingers in his mouth. Roman nodded in agreement and just before he was about to take the last bite, their waitress returned carrying all of their food in a steaming heap. All three of them moved back and Dean grunted, hastily pulling another tiny table over to them in order to fit the large platters. 

"Sorry we can't move you to a large one!" She insisted, setting down Dean's burger on the second table. The sun wasn't high in the sky anymore and there wasn't really any need to stick together, but Roman looked sort of annoyed as his and Seth's plates were touching. 

"Tomorrow'll be better," he muttered as soon as the waitress walked off. Dean pushed the table as close as possible, shrugging. "Sorry guys,"

"It's fine, who cares?" Dean snorted, picking up his burger and sinking in his teeth. It was fucking amazing, all bacon and cheddar and a thick beef patty. Roman's cheek twitched and he shook his head. 

"I want…" he muttered, drawing a square with his hands and holding the table fast as Seth began sawing into his steak vigorously, shaking the surface. "I want a big table with good food… sexy lighting… with my men."

"Mmm," Seth grunted, looking positively drunk from his meal. "Demi… glace…"

"You like it?" Roman laughed, watching Seth run a napkin through his beard and seriously look at the cloth, as though he might lick it up. Dean smiled, chewing and remembering to shut his mouth.

"It's so fuckin'  _ good _ ," Seth managed after a hearty swallow. "I dunno Uce, I'd eat on the floor here."

"How's yours?" Dean asked Roman, licking the sides of his mouth and staring at his boyfriend's plate. He'd gotten some pork with a bunch of sauce stuff on it, plus some weird extra bowl of stuff that Dean didn't recognize. Roman cut a piece of the tenderloin and offered it up to taste.

"What is it though?" Dean asked, not particularly certain of the sauce on it. He didn't like a lot of extra noise all over his food and Roman was a little drunk, just wiggling the fork at him.

"It's got a puree on it," Roman said, taking the bite for himself as Dean took too long for his liking. "Sweet potato." 

Dean just shrugged, sweet potato was okay, but he didn't really  _ need _ it. Roman didn't seem to be deterred though, and as he offered some to Seth, the two got real annoying about his need to try it.

"M'ith good," Seth muttered after eating a piece off of Roman's fork like a pet and nodding quickly. "Try it Dean-o."

"This just gunna be the weekend where y'all make me do stuff," Dean sniffed, twisting in his seat. He could eat the food, the weird sauce stuff in the dish definitely wasn't happening, but Roman was only prioritizing the meat. Dipping a new piece in the puree on his plate and offering it to Dean again. Dean sighed and leaned in quickly, wiggling the fork around for effect and making his boyfriend's giggle.

It actually wasn't bad, but he pulled a face just to piss them off. Roman grunted and Dean took a long sip of his drink and swallowed hard. It was weird, drinking a lot and eating at the same time, but it felt kinda nice also. Seth looked a lot more rosy faced as he finished his margarita and Roman was actually on his fourth drink, getting clumsy with his hands.

"I wanna try yours," Dean said, pointing to Seth's bloody red steak. "And then… I gotta piss…"

"Same…" Seth grinned, pushing his plate forward a little hastily. "Try it with the sauce is's really good…"

Just because he was enjoying the dumb looks on Roman's and Seth's face, Dean ordered shots before he got the bill and hustled off the the bathroom to make some space. He felt up to his eyes in piss and Seth was wobbling in his shadow, mumbling something that was making his cock excited. It didn't take long for Uce to come in, and then all three men had their dicks out, taking tandem pisses and talking a little to happily to be normal. 

Dean thought it was cute how Seth shyly slid his dick out through his underwear with two hands, probably because he was drunk. Roman went over the waistline of his briefs, gifted as he was and actually kind of hard. Alcohol usually excited him some before he got whiskey dick, and Dean grinned, thinking of fucking both of them later on. Uce mumbled something about the bill and Dean blinked, licking his lips and tasting grease and his drink. 

"Yeah yeah…" he said, fidgeting absently. "I'll pay."

"I think," Roman muttered, trying to look casual as someone else entered the bathroom. "We should go take a picture at the southernmost point. We didn't take a good photo of all of us yet." 

"We took one on the boat the other day," Dean stated, remembering the picture that they'd snapped before snorkeling. He obviously didn't care if they did it again, but Roman shook his head, dramatically. 

"Yeah but like, a  _ cute _ one or somethin'," He mumbled, flicking water from his hands as gestured, having just washed them, "Fine forget it, whatever."

"No let's do it!" Seth piped up, sounding the most drunk of the three. They left the bathroom, gathered up the shots they'd ordered and Dean pounded his back thoughtlessly. He fished through his pocket as Roman grunted, shaking his head hard and Seth took a moment, steadying himself on the little table. Pulling out his card, Dean handed it to the waitress quickly, stacking up their little glasses and feeling his head begin to swim. The night was still young or whatever, and Dean wouldn't say no to going out to another bar or getting into some nonsense, but Seth's leg probably wasn't going to tolerate a lot of walking. Everything was expensive on the island anyway and the thought of his Four Lokos in the fridge made him grin stupidly.

"This's so much fun," Seth said as they walked out, heading down the street as Roman led them. He was basically dragging the guys arm down and Dean had to admit it was pretty cute. "I wanna tell you guys what I got you today…"

"Oh yeah?" Dean said, tripping a little as he made to keep up. His interest was piqued as Seth swallowed hard and looked full of himself, like he was very proud of his decision. "Yeah," he continued, "You're gunna  _ love  _ it."

Roman said something but Dean's attention was suddenly distracted by the sight of someone carrying around one of the pineapple drinks he'd seen before. He had to have one and across the road, he spotted the truck where some business was selling them to tourists. He yelped, and made across the road in a heartbeat, laughing at his own stupid decision. Neither Roman or Seth said anything or stopped him and he eagerly placed himself in line, forking out cash as he struggled to read the sign that explained the prices. 

"Twenty bucks?" he groaned, sighing as two chicks happily squealed over their new drinks and began eagerly trying to take photos of their picturesque drinks. "I could put fuckin' booze in a fruit myself."

"Then why don't ya?" The woman at the stand laughed, taking his money and handing him a fresh pineapple. The outside wasn't too pokey and Dean took a step back to examine it carefully. The top of the pineapple had been shorn off and there was chunks of fruit and cherries placed a top it with skewers and a little umbrella thing. Basically, it was the dumbest, girliest thing ever and he barely cared, crossing the street again as he took a sip. It was pretty damn good and mixed well and Roman grinned, watching him come closer. 

"Those are good, aren't they?" he laughed, rubbing Seth's back. Dean watched Seth mumble and reach out, eyes struggling to focus on the pineapple drink but obviously interested. 

"You wannit?" Dean offered, pushing the straw forward and letting his boyfriend try it. Seth just nodded, and Dean wondered if was going to be sick, slowing down considerably. 

"It's just another block," Roman explained, pointing down to the spot they were walking toward. It was the same place that he'd biked around and seen Uce at earlier in the day, and Dean tried to make sure his feet didn't trip him up as he continued on, clutching his drink. Seth said something mostly unintelligible, but Dean got the point as he held out his hand expectantly, wanting touch. Dean had stopped caring about an hour ago and rubbed the back of Seth's hand, feeling the broad knuckle and hearing him exhale softly. Everyone around seemed just as drunk and the idea of fighting some asshole actually sounded fun. When he was drinking, Dean felt a lot less weird about touch and actually kind of liked the feeling of a hand or a mouth on him.

"I bought sexy underwear," Seth blurted out. "Like, girly panties."

"You did what now?" Dean snorted, his dick going from a comfortable awareness to a real annoying hardness up against his leg. Fucking Seth in that g string had been so hot. Roman laughed hard and Seth sighed, grinning. 

"I bought a bunch. There was a sale… sexy stuff..."" he said, making a weird noise in his throat and blinking hard. He stumbled a little and Dean held tighter to him.

"Fuck, okay," he murmured, trying adjust his dick and forgetting Seth was holding his hand tight. They laughed, and for a few moments, Dean tried to imagine what Seth could have bought that quantified sexy underwear. For Dean, he really just liked seeing Seth in the dumbest shit possible, girly as all fuck little panties that had no functional purpose. Roman would look hot as fuck too, and he wondered if he could even take that much in at a time, both of their asses hanging out of little pink thongs…

He really had to put the idea of out his head before his dick was too obvious in such a public area. The southernmost point marker wasn't too busy, but there were plenty of tourists around, all laughing and drinking and taking pictures. After a few awkward moments of middling around, Roman asked a woman to take their pictures and they stood in front of the marker in the half light, posing for the camera. Dean was too wasted to take it seriously and held up his pineapple while Seth and Roman looked snuggly and lovey-dovey.

"Do one where you make out and I'll drink my fruit," Dean joked, totally not expecting both men to go completely sloppy and start making out. He watched on strangely as everyone whooped and cheered, not really jealous, but sort of on alert if anyone wanted to fuck with them. They were probably pushing it, and everyone started hording in, trying to get their attention and giving them weird compliments. Dean didn't want to make out with anyone in public. In an alleyway, sure, he probably would have taken advantage of Seth's slutty side and probably would have gotten his dick sucked if Roman wasn't there. Uce was weird about fucking around in public sometimes. Trying to hide his not so subtle dick, Dean sat down on the ground a little ways away from the crowd. 

"Does this look right?" he slurred, showing Dean his phone where he'd tried to call them a ride. Dean nodded, handing his phone back. "Fuck, I think I need more food..."

"We just ate," Seth laughed, right next to Dean and sprawling into his lap. "Fuck… food does sound good though."

In the quarter light, Seth's forehead was shining with sweat and his eyes were starry and dark. Dean could tell he was really drunk because he was actually breathing out of his mouth, slightly gaped and dumb. It wasn't often that they all got this loose and Dean sort of wished they did it more often, just so they could have these moments where he felt less like he had to squirm away. Dean didn't like to think about why touch weirded him out, because he knew that he loved his boyfriends and they had nothing to do with what had happened to him. 

"You good?" he asked Seth, leaning down and looking at him in his lap. Seth's eye's flickered and he nodded, pressing his head into Dean's leg, dangerously close to his crotch. 

"Mmyah," he grunted. "Very very."

* * *

The ride back to the boat was short and pretty quiet as their driver was some spanish guy in his mid-thirties that didn't look very excited about them being there. Dean drummed his fingers on the hand rest attached to the door, and Seth was hiccupping and half laying on him, humming along. When they got to the marina, Dean felt like he needed to pee again, bouncing around as Roman helped Seth out of the car. It was a little annoying having to go so slow because one of them had gotten drunk so fast, but then Dean remembered that Seth's leg was shit too, and that couldn't really be helped.

"Do you wan' me to carry you in?" He asked, trying to get them moving again as Seth kept blinking hard, unable to focus his eyes.

"Wha?" he mumbled, shaking his head and taking a confident step forward. "I… got it… just make sure I don' fall…"

Regardless of Seth's state, Dean was keen to keep the party going and swayed over to the refrigerator as soon as he'd relieved himself. Roman wandered in as well, taking off his shirt and using the material to wipe sweat from his face, grunting.

"You wanna go out again?" Dean asked, looking at Roman's body with a nod of enthusiasm. His boyfriend was a lot darker in the low light, looking kinda chunky and hot with his hair over both shoulders. Roman pursed his lips, sincerely thinking about it. Dean chucked him a fresh can of Miller Lite, and he caught it, sighing. 

"I dunno man, I'm pretty fuckin' fried," Roman muttered, holding onto the wall. Dean produced a knife from the kitchen drawer and poked a hole in the bottom of his can grinning. He cracked the top and stood over the sink, quickly washing down the beer and grimacing as he felt gas in his stomach coming up. Roman obliged to the do the same, shaking his head hard and tossing the mostly empty can in the sink. 

"Where the hell are these panties anyway?" Roman asked, grinning and looking around. "You haven't seen 'em yet?"

"They're in them bags," Dean said, thumping his chest to work up a burp before pointing to the sea of purchases on the floor by the helm. He'd spilled some beer on his shirt, so Dean just took it off and tossed it on the counter. "Fuckin… all his shit…"

"Mm," Roman mumbled, looking in the fridge for food they probably didn't have. "I dunno man, I'd be down to get some fourth meal, but I don't want Seth to like… get sick or somethin' and need us." he shut the door and Dean had to hide his rolling eyes. "Plus I figure I'll be spendin' money tomorrow night so I better save it now."

"I'll buy, he's fine," Dean said, sure that his checking account could take a little hit. But from the bedroom, Seth's voice could be heard faintly, flirtatious and sultry. " _ Deeeeeean-ooooo _ ," he called, faint from the distance between them " _ Uuuuuuceyyyy _ ." 

They laughed hard and for a moment, Dean was distracted from any thoughts of leaving. Seth's voice was distinct with the urge to be fucked, and if they could break out some sexy thongs and get down to business, Dean was content with staying on the ship for a little while longer. He wasn't even sure why he wanted to go out so bad, other than the fact that it was barely 9:30. Time hadn't mattered at all during their trip and it didn't have to now. He pulled a Four Loko from the fridge and Roman grimaced, easing himself up on his tip toes and sitting on the countertop.

"Be a minute," he called to Seth in the other room, shooting Dean a weird sort of look. "You havin' a good night?" 

"Yeah yeah," Dean said, licking his lips at the clash of tastes in his mouth. "Why?"

"You're just you, I jus' gotta ask sometimes," Roman said, leaning his head back on the cupboard. Dean came closer and put his hands on Roman's thighs, looking up. "After all the boat shit… snorkeling... "

"'M fine," Dean whispered, meaning it. Roman put his hands in his hair and Dean hummed, closing his eyes. "'Member how I liked it?"

"I 'member," Roman grinned, "Just want' to check."

Dean let his head sag, the feeling of Roman's hands in his hair amazing. Back when Seth had gotten injured, they'd done this thing every now and then where Roman would ask him a bunch of stuff and Dean would mostly just say he was fine. It was probably weird, but whenever Roman asked, Dean actually thought about it, thinking if he had anything to say. Both of them knew he wouldn't bring shit up unless he was prompted, and Dean sometimes took to opportunity to say he wanted the evening to himself or a walk with the dog to get out of the house. But he was on vacation now and Seth was fine. They were all fine. 

"I want a kiss," Dean said, actually wanting it. Kissing Roman was sometimes hard just because it felt like a lot, but the more he did it, the more he realized it calmed him down and made him feel like he was in a warm bath or something. Just relaxed.

"I'm falling asleeeeep," Seth whined, wobbling out into the kitchen and looking at both men with squinty, tired eyes and messy hair. He was completely naked and Dean grinned watching him slump against the wall. 

"Where are these panties at?" he asked, already knowing the answer. "I need to see."

"Oh yah," Seth muttered, leading the way to the bags with stumbling feet. Roman got ahead of him and kept him from falling over, concerned for his safety. 

"You okay babe?" he asked, "I don't want you to fall and break yourself."

"He already did that once today, 's fine," Dean snorted, Seth began heaping a bunch of black panties on the floor and Dean paused, setting his can aside. Roman whooped and Dean crouched down, a little exasperated by Seth's choice of frilly, goth-looking shit. 

"Just  _ black _ ?" he mumbled, disappointed by the lack of color "C'mon man,"

"'S all they had," Seth said, allowing Roman to help him up. "We can all.. Wear 'em…"

However, Dean really just wanted Seth and Roman to wear the panties, not as interested in putting a bunch of silk on his dick. The material was nice and soft, but he had business to attend to, stripping out of the rest of his clothes and watching Seth slide the underwear onto his fuzzy crotch. He instantly became harder, watching his boyfriend's breath pitch up and down, his chest and stomach falling and rising as his skin became flushed. Dean stroked his cock and Roman pulled off his own pants after messing with his phone. All he wanted to do was grind his dick all over Seth's panties and get them properly filthy, and it seemed all Seth could do was react to what was happening, unable to initiate any touch. 

They kissed for awhile, with Dean humping Seth's leg. He was drunk as shit and his head was swimming, but his firm dick was like a fucking superpower. Where Roman might be more well endowed, Dean was impervious to alcohol, except when he was drunk  _ and  _ high. That was different. 

Roman took the downstairs and Dean just kept tucking into Seth's mouth, tasting dinner and drinks and giving little bites to the thin lips that parted sloppily, just as he liked. In his inebriated state, Seth kept forgetting to breathe, gasping huge breaths at odd intervals and seizing with big, drunken hiccups that made him grunt, annoyed. Earning a little accidental bite when Seth's throat croaked, Dean grabbed his hair and gave the long brown locks a few tugs right at the root, earning a breathy, pleasured cry.

"You wan' firsts?" Dean asked, looking to Roman and patting Seth's chest like the dashboard of a nice car. Roman looked up from Seth's ass where he'd been lapping away. His goatee was wet and his face was kind of dazed and soft. 

"Uh… I'm probably no good…" he chuckled, massaging Seth's taint with his thumb and earning a little  _ ooh _ , "But I'll give't a whack…" he paused, hearing Seth hiccup and start a little, reaching up for Dean with closed eyes. "Is he okay?"

Seth just giggled and Dean looked down. The way he was acting, he would have thought Seth was on molly or something, he hadn't even drank that much, but he was just a melted mess, basically checked out. Dean tapped his cheek, feeling the slight swelling where they'd connected earlier and Seth moaned softly. 

"You good?" Deak asked, giving his head a little shake, trying to rouse his full attention.

"What?" Seth hiccuped, eyes fluttering open

"You okay?" Roman tried, smoothing his thigh with a hand. "You're pretty sleepy babe..."

"Mm fine," Seth groused, grasping at Dean's crotch wit a slow, ineffectual hand. "Put… a dick… in me…"

Dean just laughed and shrugged, tapping Seth's lower belly and urging Roman to give it a go. He didn't really know  from experience, but all the other bottoms that Dean knew said that anal was really great when you were drunk because it took a lot of the pressure off. Being wasted meant that there wasn't as much pain, and as much as Roman wanted to worry his ass off, Dean was sure Seth was fine, at least for the moment. They'd all probably be hungover as hell later, but for the time being, it was all fine. Dean watched as Roman pushed the panties aside, sliding his half hard dick into Seth and holding his good leg up for effect. On his side, it was easier to simply press back and forth without worrying about closing a lot of distance. Not that it mattered to Seth, who seemed to be enjoying everything. Dean stroked his own dick as the two swayed back and forth, Roman's fingernails leaving little white marks in the skin of Seth's calf as he bucked lightly, trying to pound it out. Dean knew Roman probably wouldn't get it off, but it was still hot as fuck to see. His hair was all messy and he kept sweating a lot, thick beads of water falling on Seth's side as Roman worked around, grunting hard.

"Maybe… not…" he sighed eventually, accepting defeat.  Dean watched him pull back and Seth immediately looked dismayed and frantic for dick, squinting hard and trying to make sense of the lack of sensation. 

"This is my kinda job," Dean said cooly, grabbing their travel bottle of lube and smirking at his own dick like he was happy to see it there. Putting his hand on Seth's hip where the lacy underwear was sticking, Dean nodded firmly at the sweaty silk, dick hard as rock.

"Fuckin' mad man," Roman said, the words coming out of his mouth like praise as the mattress shook under his weight. " _ Lunatic _ ."

"Bussy master," Dean snorted, pulling Seth's legs apart and examining the wet, slick entrance guarded by flossy strings. 

"No callin' it that," Seth whined. Dean chuckled, waiting for Roman to help Seth adjust, placing him over his body and getting him settled. Whatever the vocabulary was, Dean was intent on working up a good sweat and hearing Seth get all breathy and slutty for good times sake. Pushing the panties out of the way, he pressed inside, moving Seth's legs to rest to the side and hearing him go all nasally and soft with the shift of Dean's hips. It was always good, fucking him like this. On his back, all of Seth's weird ticks and confusing edges were blurred. Dean knew exactly what to do with him and now that they'd been together long enough, he knew how to get him started  _ and  _ slow him down so he didn't come too fast. 

Dean loved fucking Roman and usually unleashed all of his energy on the larger man's ass frantically, but Seth was still probably the best lay of his life. it was like his ass was tuned just to his dick for warmth and pressure. Yin and Yang. Or something.

And Roman was just as big a part of that equation, holding Seth tight and kissing the sides of his face while he groaned from the effort. Dean couldn't hear him perfectly, but the low grumble was hot and Seth's response was more fevered whining, straining and vibrating. Dean gripped with his hips, pulling them under his spine and smacking hard, feeling Seth's whole ass clutch back and his boyfriend's voice strain hard and breathy.

Dean slapped his ass, the only appropriate response for such a good ride. Licking his lips and tossing his own head back, he was aware of his bangs creeping right over his eyes. Dean wanted to burn that picture into his brain: Roman, scooping Seth into his arms and helping him throw his hips into Dean's lap, keeping his dick sheathed. They were getting close, he could tell because Seth's thighs were shaking and his belly was dipping around because he was breathing huge, full breaths. 

"Tell 'im,"  Dean heard Roman say, fluffing Seth's hair and kissing his temple. "Let him  _ know _ ,"

It was crazy hot and Dean grunted, humping faster, beating it out. His own orgasm was fluttering fast, getting ready and assuring him what he was doing was correct. Seth cried out hard with a broken wail and his mouth fell open, scrambling, begging. 

It didn't stop though and Dean came hard, feeling Seth's ass close in on him with semi automatic speed. His whole spine shivered as Seth's ass milked his come right out of him and he strained, feeling slightly sore from the sensation of holding onto his own fidgeting, twitching orgasm. He let in and his neck thrashed, sending sweat everywhere, letting out a low grunt. 

"You gunna come?" Roman asked him. Dean just gritted his teeth hard, wondering if he was going to  _ stop _ coming. Seth's ass didn't let up and Dean let out a hard breath, throbbing again as he looked at the wrecked state of the panties, pressing up against his crotch and balls, soaked from lube and sweat. It was all too perfect until Seth let out a hard sobbing noise and Dean's blood went cold, wondering what the fuck he'd done to make that happen. Seth's ass was still twitching and he eased himself still, beading come out and down his leg. For a horrible second, Dean wonder if he'd tore, but there was no blood anywhere to make him think that was the case. 

"Seth babe," Roman said softly, pushing back his hair to see his face before snapping his fingers seriously at Dean. Dean grunted, trying to be motionless as possible."Whoa whoa…"

"'M fine," Seth said brokenly, and Dean breathed a sigh of relief, unable to see his face clearly. "I just… it's  _ so _ good…"

He laughed hard, easing himself away carefully and looking around for something to wipe his dick on. Dean was still pretty drunk and the bed swayed hard as he moved, giving Seth's ass a comforting little rub that made the swell wiggle. 

"You  _ sure  _ you're good?" Roman asked carefully, trying to be as serious as possible while Seth made little sniffing noises. Dean wiped his dick on one of their beach towels and returned, seeing Seth's wet, exhausted face and slightly runny nose. His eyes were very big and tired and Dean gave him a little kiss, sure that he was alright and probably just overwhelmed cause he was drunk. It was more funny than anything, and Dean was just glad he hadn't really messed the guy up. They took a moment to wipe up, but Seth was very obstinate, refusing to move out of Roman's arms and groaning whenever he shifted. 

"You don' still wanna go out, do you?" Roman asked, rubbing Seth's head and watching Dean as he used the opposite end of the towel to brush sweat off his forehead. He could shower tomorrow before they went out. Dean sighed, feeling a yawn in the back of his throat. He was really tired and his head was starting to ache. He probably shouldn't have opened the Four Loko.

"Nah, I'll call it," Dean said, coming down to lay in the bed too. Roman opened up his arm and Dean shuffled in similarly to Seth, on the opposite side. They were all really warm, but Dean had pulled the window open so there was a nice breeze coming in. For a moment, he fussed with an ingrown hair on his leg before Roman poked his wrist, stopping him from scratching the spot bloody. Dean just closed his eyes, giving up.

"Maybe… tomorrow night…" Roman sighed, scratching at his sleeping dick and smiling as Seth hummed in his other arm. "Go all out… if we're not too tired…"

Dean sort of doubted it, but he knew if he wanted to go out on the town, Roman wouldn't stop him. Truth be told, he was kind of tired of drinking and did just want to lie down, in bed, with his guys. Years ago, he might have been more hard pressed to party and live it up, but he was older and it was harder to be social and over the top when he didn't have coke or something keeping him wired. He didn't think that anyone on the island was as much fun anyway, and he thought about how he might tell Roman that. Dean knew if he talked more, Roman probably wouldn't have to ask as many questions, but Dean still felt weird saying what was on the top of his mind, sure that it probably didn't miraculously flow into conversation the way he meant it to.

"Whatever we do I'll be happy," he said, settling for the truth and resting a hand on Roman's chest. Slightly sunburned, the contrast between their skin colors was even more pronounced and Roman closed his hand over Dean's making his body tingle a little.

"Did 'omthone wipe'm butt?" Seth slurred in his sleep. Dean laughed against Roman's chest, feeling his boyfriend's body rumble with a hearty chuckle. Dean moved hair out of Seth's face, seeing his vacant, slack jawed expression. 

"Yeah, we wiped your butt," he said, grinning as Seth breathed a huge sigh, clearly relieved. That night, they all fell asleep heaped together, sweaty as shit, too drunk to remember to turn out the lights. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Continued in the next chapter from Roman's perspective as well as Part 6


	21. Shield Key [Part: 5 [To the Tune of Roman Reigns]]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roman's day in Key West.

Roman felt guilty, waking so late and finding that both of his boyfriend's had apparently left for their day on the town. The sun was high in the sky and he was sweating hard as his hair stuck to the sides of his face in messy strands. Overnight, much to his own embarrassment, Roman had actually drooled on his pillow. As he sat up and dusted off his face, then pinched his eyes shut as his vision adjusted slowly to the change in position.

It felt kind of weird and lonely, waking up and barely remembering Dean mumbling something in his ear, hours before. He walked around the boat to adjust to being awake, and was slightly disappointed to find that no one had texted him or left a note. The bike was gone, and his boyfriend's shoes were missing from their spot by the door. Everything was pretty quiet, except for the noise of people moving around outside. 

**Got the day to myself** he messaged Summer, sure that he needed to get up and start moving as he was really hungry and there wasn't much food around. As burned out as he was on eating seafood, the thought of a soupy gumbo was really appealing. Roman dressed and washed his face, remembering a little cafe he'd visited last time he was in Key West, a cuban place that he'd taken Daniel to. It would probably be weird to take Seth or Dean to a place he'd brought his ex, even if he didn't tell them. However, after checking his phone, Roman realized it was on the whole other side of the island, far from a walking distance.

Luckily enough, there were a few Uber drivers circling around Key West, and Roman hailed one as soon as he found his sunglasses. Climbing into the car and buckling his seat belt, he blushed as the female driver smiled hugely at him in the mirror.

"Where are we goin' big boy?" She asked jovially, actually going as far as to allow her sunglasses to shift down her nose, teasing. Roman mumbled the address and she seemed to cool, only lingering her gaze on his tattoos for a few moments at a time.

**No boys?** Summer replied finally  **What were you going to do for the day?**

**I dunno yet gunna get some breakfast first** Roman typed out, scratching his nose and looking at the weather on his phone. He'd been texting his sister the whole week, sort of because he was anticipating seeing her soon, but also because they'd just been communicating a lot more in general. If Roman was correct, Summer and Vanessa were going to meet their mom to get some groceries for Easter, then pick up Tamar and Milo from school. Roman suspected part of their communication was due in part to the fact that Summer was taking some time off because Trevor made so much money. His sister was bored, but Roman also suspected that she was trying to get pregnant again. 

**It's almost lunch lazy** Summer replied,  **At least you got to jetski. I haven't been there since we all went when you were in high school but ill bet there is some fun bars you could go to.**

**Not by myself :/** Roman typed back, barely paying any attention to the island whipping past him in the window. He'd seen it plenty of times before, anyway. He was pretty well aware of the fact he felt a little anxious and useless by himself, but it didn't stop him from staring at the screen hopefully as the minutes passed by, wondering if he might text his boyfriend's about what they had gotten up to. They could reconvene for dinner, but Roman knew he should probably pick a place and get a reservation. 

"Right here?" The driver asked, her flirty tone dropping as Roman had been ensconced in his phone. He peered up, looking through the window and nodding.  _ Ana's Cuban Cafe _ was a little wooden building, painted green with a white fenced in patio. Roman mumbled a _ thank you _ to his ride and hopped out of the car, surveying the little street. Ignoring the usual interested stares of women and slightly intimidated men, Roman walked inside and allowed himself to be seated on the patio. The table was tiny and he tried not to lean on it too much, afraid of upending the salt shakers. 

The last time he'd been there, he'd sat inside with Dan and it had been a lot more busy. Dan's vitiligo was acting up and so the day had mostly been spent indoors, wandering between businesses to keep out of the sun. It hadn't even been that long ago, but it had just been a driving trip, no crazy houseboat excursion. Glancing at his phone, Roman realized the last time they'd texted was around Christmas time. Just a chaste hello. Nothing serious. 

"Did you want anything to drink?" The waitress asked, coming by and smiling brightly. Roman blinked and licked his lips, thinking quickly.

"Oh, uh, could I do a mojito?" he asked shyly, "Little early, I know…"

"Not at all! We do a special made with coconut water if you'd like to try that. It's really yummy."

"Sounds great," Roman said, smiling back. He felt a little awkward, but his mind was occupied, staring out across the street. He didn't like thinking about Daniel too much, just because it had been such a shitty time in his life, but it had nothing to do with the relationship. Some days, he wanted to call his ex up and just apologize for things, but he always wondered how strange it would seem if Dean or Seth found him on the phone with his old boyfriend. Daniel was in Washington state now, and as far as Roman knew, he was happy. Roman was happy too, so he tried to put it out of his mind.

**Im right by the butterfly place we went to as kids** he texted his sister, speaking to the conservatory just down the road.  **I bet I would have a better time now**

"Here we go-" the waitress returned and Roman rubbed his hands together at the sight of a large glass with a foggy white drink mixed with mint leaves. "Were you ready to order then?"

"The fish of the day gumbo." Roman said, nodding quickly as his waitress scrawled down his order. "And uh… a side of fries as well."

"Sounds great!" She chimed, "I'll get that ready for you." 

His phone buzzed and Roman glanced at it, sipping from his drink carefully.  **Yeah I remember we put a caterpillar on you and you started crying XD** Summer texted him  **What do you think your boys are getting up to?**

**I have no idea** Roman messaged, sighing and looking down the road as though Seth and Dean might be walking down it.  **Seth said something a while back about how he wanted to go to the dry tortugas, but idk if hes actually gunna do it. Dean bought a little bike that hes been riding around so hes probably just on that.**

**Sounds fun** Summer replied, Roman paused his drinking, getting brain freeze.  **They still having a blast then?**

**Oh yeah theyre really into it** Roman typed out, beaming as he could recall their happy, ecstatic faces with ease. **I asked them kinda as a joke if it made up for all the bs at xmas and it seems like it actually did. Im hoping it will sort of make going home easier too since Seth seemed really fd up about going back.**

For awhile, Roman just sat, toying with his straw and watching a family that was sitting in front of him. The young son was apparently complaining to his father about his food and the dad was just sighing and cracking jokes. Summer took some time to reply and he hoped he wasn't distracting her too much.

**Yeah he seemed the most rattled that last time** Summer confirmed  **You just gotta get better at telling mom what's what and not letting her make up her own stories about what's going on.**

**I think she still thinks you guys just have orgies all the time and aren't really in a relationship.**

**Well maybe u shouldnt have told her i was going to folsom street fair that one time??** Roman said with a dozen or so chin-scratching emojis. He wasn't really upset.  **It easier for u, u aren't gay and u dont love two people.**

**And i have kids dont forget ;)** Summer added on, Roman snorted, unable to think of an appropriate reply. His sister was right and he was well aware of what he needed to do in order to communicate with his parents properly, it was only that they terrified him and he hated it. His mother's incredibly intimidating quota for grandchildren was a constant strain on their relationship, and often Roman wondered if his life wouldn't be easier if he just stole a kid from a grocery store parking lot. 

For a few minutes, he considered the far and away possibilities of raising children as a polyamorous unit. For one, he had no idea how the business of a birth certificate might work and if multiple legal guardians could be accounted for. In a lot of ways, it might be easier to spread out the responsibilities, but he could never imagine Dean and Seth clamoring to be parents in the way that he wanted. 

Dean just seemed like he would be completely unavailable and skittish to say the least, which made Roman sad because the guy was so good with kids. Where Dean was usually unreliable for things like paperwork and emails at White Water, he was undeniably great at completing swim lessons and encouraging children to swim with games and enthusiasm. While Roman didn't really see him changing diapers or keeping up with appointments, his heart practically melted at the idea of Dean riding bikes with a young boy or girl, encouraging them to go faster.

By comparison, Roman imagined Seth to be so anxious he probably couldn't enjoy a lot of the finer points of being a parent. Any time Seth had taught baby classes at the pool, he always looked a little stiff and concerned with holding a baby, very quick to had it back to its parents as soon as he could, like he was afraid he might drop them. But then, the moments he'd shared with Holly made Roman sure that Seth could probably bond with certain children, if he felt a connection. 

Roman just loved kids and babies and though he didn't have any sort of biological clock ticking away, he sometimes felt impatient, hearing his siblings brag endlessly about their child's soccer games or football practices or exceptional grades. He could never tell Seth or Dean. They just wouldn't get it.

**Yeah chickens dont count** Roman texted Summer, brightening as his food arrived on a ceramic plate. He took awhile to eat, enjoying the warm feeling of soup in his stomach and watching people walk by with their dogs, enjoying the sunshine. There was a very nice breeze that day and the warm sun wasn't so abrasive as the tropical fauna tittered in the wind. Everyone was tan and gorgeous and Roman spotted two gay couples walking by, holding hands and making him wish Seth or Dean was there to shamelessly flirt with. 

**You know i would surrogate for u in a heartbeat right?** Summer replied. Roman almost choked on his food, wiping his mouth with a napkin and staring at his phone. He'd talked at length with her about his own fears of never being able to have kids because he was gay, but she'd never supplied this sort of answer. For a few moments, he just chewed his food, at a complete loss for how something like that would even work. It was a huge commitment, and while Roman knew his sister loved him, he didn't imagine she loved him _ that _ much. 

**U srs?** He typed, including a few large eyed emojis for effect. It felt stupid, but it was honestly how he felt. His gumbo, while delicious, felt sort of boring in his mouth by comparison to the conversation. It wasn't as though Roman thought his sister would bust out a kid for him anytime soon, but… in a few years maybe…

**Yeah, I mean, not with your DNA obviously lmfao** Summer replied, Roman snorted, almost dropping his fork.  **But if Seth or Dean decided they loved you enough to be parents with u i dont see why we couldn't talk about that.**

**It probably will never happen so dont get excited** Roman replied, if only for the fact to stop himself from eagerly imagining a future where they got to bring home a baby that was theirs in a sense.  **Also you'd probably have to have triplets to get me up to speed with the rest of yall.**

**Beggars cant be choosers bro!** Summer texted back.  **But seriously, i've already told Trevor that I'd do it if you ever wanted it. It's a standing offer, whoever you want to do it with, it doesn't matter.**

**That means a lot.** Roman said, swallowing hard and grimacing as he got soup broth on his phone.  **Can I call you in a bit? Im eating right now.**

**Sure i have time** Summer replied. Roman put his phone in his pocket and continued to eat, feeling strangely light and numb. His sister Summer was his closest family member. Roman usually knew when his mother was preparing to ask things of him because his sister typically gave him fair warning. She was his only real confidant for dealing with his parents because she was so aware of how they acted, and for all his issues in his teenage and college years, Summer had been the kindest and most understanding. If it wasn't for her, Roman shuddered to think where he might be in his own life. 

Because of this, he expected he was probably a little bothersome at times, eager to talk and text when she was busy or occupied. But regardless, she didn't seem to mind and usually took the time to complain about the constant strain of having two energetic young boys and a busy husband. Roman similarly didn't mind and usually talked about how difficult it was to deal with one boyfriend that despised talking and another that was self destructive and oblivious at his worst. Roman didn't like venting too much to Dean and Seth anyway, as he worried it might create a rift between the two.

"So how many kids can you have for me?" Roman asked jokingly as an opening to his phone call, pressing the receiver against his ear and hearing his sister's snorting laugh.

"I think I'm good for one or  _ two _ ," Summer sighed. Roman listened as he pocketed his wallet again and left the restaurant, walking up the street without a destination in mind. "Third one might have to be a Vanessa job."

"She'd never be into that," Roman snickered, "Not after all the shit she went through with Penelope… Again, it ain' like I actually think this is going to happen, but maybe in another lifetime it could work."

"You never know!" Summer laughed, "You've only been dating for like a cosmic millisecond! Plus you know I'm going to ship Milo and Tamar to you one of these summers anyway. You can practice on them."

"Deal," Roman said, pushing his sunglasses up his face a little higher. He wasn't really sure what else to say, only that he felt that such a serious conversation probably shouldn't be over messages. Hearing his sister's voice was nice though, and he was reminded of the face that it really wasn't serious until he even knew what he was doing. He made way for a stroller to come by on the sidewalk and continued down the path, licking his lips thoughtfully. "How's mom and dad you think?"

"Everything seems fine," Summer said, sinking down into a chair on the other side of the phone and thinking for a moment. "It's like I was saying, Mom's obsessed with Mandy right now so I doubt she's going to be trying to get on your case right away. Like, when she blew up at you she was pissed off about Rosey not telling her about the doctor's appointment. Something about some gender reveal party she wanted to plan…" Summer just sighed and Roman half smiled, "I don't know, but even Dad thought she took it out on you and was just annoyed he had to deal with it."

"Sounds about right," Roman grunted, slowly his walk as the ocean came into view. He was at the southernmost point marker and a group of tourists were standing around the small monument, taking photos and observing the glimmering sea. His head was a little foggy from the mojito and drinking the night before, but Roman's skin tingled warmly at the sun and he closed his eyes for a moment, enjoying the sensation.

"The boys are excited to see you again though," Summer said, clearing her throat. "They're speculating on the contents of their easter baskets. Tamar lost another tooth and he thinks that means the easter bunny and tooth fairy are going to collaborate or something."

"They're excited to see _ Dean _ you mean," Roman laughed. "Can't get enough of him."

"I'm excited to see  _ you _ ." Summer said, clearly trying to keep him positive. "When do you start summer classes?"

"After my birthday, I don't remember," he muttered, plopping down on a bench next to the marker. There was some litter in the grass, but the seat was clean. "If you have time, maybe you could come down and see me or something around then. That might be a fun trip."

"Probably would have to wait until school's out." Summer said, sighing again. "We'll see though Lil' Uce."

He grinned at the use of the nickname and felt strangely whole in his body, full of food and the calming effect of his sister's voice. Roman could tell she really didn't have much else to say, but was staying on the line because she didn't want to be the first to hang up. Just as he was trying to think of a good way to end the call, he saw Dean pedaling down the street, going slow and observing the attractions on the side of the road. As soon as he saw Roman he clucked his tongue and rode up, sitting slumped in the seat.

"I guess Dean's here, I'll talk to you later," Roman said, smirking as his boyfriend jumped off his bike, let it crash on the ground and promptly plopped into the seat next to him.

"Okay, have fun!" Summer said. "Tell Dean I said hi!" 

"Summer says hi," Roman said, hanging up the call and pocketing his phone as his boyfriend glanced over the top of his sunglasses, pink and sunburned. It only took a moment for Roman's nose to wrinkle as Dean smelled distinctly aromatic. "You wearing perfume or something?"

"Nah, I was in this fortune telling shop trying to by sunscreen and they sold me this-" he explained, foisting a tiny artisan bottle out of his pocket. "Smells like flowers. I got my fortune read and they told me everything was going to go horrible but maybe it also might not."

"Huh…" Roman laughed, watching his boyfriend push the bottle back into his pocket again. "Seen Seth at all?"

"Nope," Dean said, scratching his cheek. "I left first this mornin' and you both were still sleepin'" 

"Just been ridin' around all morning?" Roman asked, tapping the wheel of the bike with his foot to get it to stop spinning in place. "I just ate but I we should probably look around for a spot for dinner and seeing if we couldn't reserve a table." 

"I'm fine, been havin' fun." Dean said, letting off a little yawn. Roman thought he looked a little sleepy and slipped a hand on his back, resisting the urge to just pull him into his side. They'd been together so much the past few days that it felt weird being apart for even a few hours. 

Dean stilled, and Roman licked his lips, thinking. "I think I'm gunna go shop for some stuff for my family today too,"  he said, putting his hand on his lap and trying to seem inviting with his words. "If you want to join me-"

Before he could get all the words out, Dean let out a dramatic whine and Roman's heart sank a little. He wanted to spend the day with someone doing something, but he didn't want to  _ force _ his boyfriend to tag along. He rolled his eyes and Dean yawned again, obviously sleepy. 

"You got your phone at least?" Roman tried, "I'll send up a signal in our group chat thing. Maybe you could go get a nap?"

"Mmm maybe," Dean said, nodding a little. "That does sound kinda nice."

They split up again and Dean pedaled off toward the boat again, agreeing it was in his best interest to get a nap before they reconvened for dinner. Roman thought his boyfriend seemed a little distracted and off, but he supposed that it was just because he was so tired from getting up early and biking around. Dean had drank almost as much as himself the night before anyway, so it was a little surprising he was getting around so easy. Feeling slightly dehydrated from the sun, Roman stopped at a CVS from a bottle of water and took some time to look at his phone, thinking hard on what might be a good dinner destination. There was no shortage of restaurants in the area, all advertising great seafood or cuban cuisine, but it wasn't until Roman found a place online that advertised a little outdoor dining area with coconut trees and roosters that he made his decision. 

He walked three blocks down the street and grinned at the site of the  _ Blue Heaven _ restaurant. It was very quaint and small, with chickens strutting here and there. Cats and dogs alike sat in the sun, snoozing while an older man strummed a guitar for a captive audience of late-lunch folks. The shining sun and the cocktails sweating in the heat was perfect, and all the food smelled great, so Roman was quick to head inside and see if they couldn't get a table for dinner.

**Blue heaven tonight at 6 for dinner? I made a reservation** he texted the group chat as soon as it was settled. He didn't really expect Dean to reply right away if he was still biking, but within a minute, Seth had replied  **sounds good** . Roman's finger's hovered over their conversation, but he thought against starting another string of texts just a few hours before they would meet again. He was perfectly capable of being by himself for a few hours and he really needed to get some shopping done for his family. For a moment he stood, drinking the rest of his bottled water and looking toward the crowded street of tourists ahead of him, all loitering around and talking loudly. 

"You lost henny?" A man crooned in a high pitched voice, looking at Roman with unmistakably flirtatious eyes. Roman blinked and the man's friends laughed and whistled excitedly. They'd all obviously been drinking and were all about a third of his size, flamboyant and mostly harmless. "If you're bored, we could en-ta-tain you!"

"I'm alright, thanks," Roman said, blushing and giving a short wave before he backed off down the street. The men whooped, clearly enjoying the view of his ass in his cargo shorts, but Roman disappeared into his phone, texting his sister hurriedly.

**Im alone for a second and a whole pack of gay guys nearly jump e** He typed out, pressing send before he even got a chance to spell check it. Summer replied with a series of laughing emojis.

**You need a scarecrow boyfriend** she messaged him  **Or just start wearing a ring that usually works**

* * *

When six o' clock rolled around, Roman had beat Seth and Dean to the restaurant, but mostly because he'd intended to come early and suck down a Pina Colada by himself. Summer was busy watching over her sons and couldn't be distracted with a back and forth phone conversation, so Roman fidgeted mindlessly in his spot. He drank his drink, watched the chickens running around freely at his feet and examined the set of fresh spices he'd purchased for his mother and father at a fancy cooking store up the street.

All in all, it had been a really nice day and he thought the little break apart had actually been a good thing. Key West had a lot of things to offer and although there wasn't a significant build up of tension hovering around the boat, Roman knew that Seth and Dean both could use a breather to better appreciate the time that they were spending together. As he drank, Roman felt less anxious and worrisome about the coming Easter holiday and thought instead about how refreshed he would be to arrive home and fall back into his usual routine. 

The garden was due for some reorganizing, and if Dean was going to work the farmer's market after the fundraiser, Roman thought it would be nice for Seth and himself to stop by and see what new flowers and vegetables they could plant in the backyard. It was the sort of thing he thought that Seth would really enjoy, and it would give the three of them more ownership over the house. The chickens would start laying that summer and they could start collecting eggs again. Assuming his parents didn't force him to tear the backyard up and make a pool, Roman suspected they might want the exteriors of the house redone that winter. It was always a bit of a guessing game, figuring out what they might want next.

Just a little after six, Dean and Seth walked in together, surveying the space with wonder and delight. Dean beamed at the sight of the chickens and Seth laughed, plopping down into a chair.

"Leave it to you to find us a place that's literally just like eating in our backyard," Seth laughed, watching a chicken weave through an empty table, looking for scraps. "How did you find this?"

"I just googled it, but I walked over to see if it was cool," Roman admitted, carrying on the happy train of thought he'd been floating on. "Tomorrow's our last night. Did you still want to do a fancy dinner?"

"How fancy?" Dean asked, taking off his sunglasses and scooting his chair closer. The tables were tiny and the chairs were just regular plastic lawn chairs. 

"Like, we should wear dress shirts," Roman said, "But probably not ties. It'll be my last big treat if you want." 

"I'm down, I packed a shirt," Seth said, fixing his snapback more firmly on his head and pushing the brim back. Roman noticed his eye looked a little funny and Seth blushed, touching the side of his face.

"Dean battered me," he snorted, pointing to their boyfriend just as the waitress returned with his second Pina Colada. "It was on accident though."

"You started it," Dean mumbled and Roman raised an eyebrow, pointing between the two. The waitress paused, looking expectant. "Oh uh, I'll have a beer."

"Me too," Seth said, nodding. The waitress walked away and he continued. "It was dumb, but basically I surprised him and he accidentally decked me in the face."

"Oof," Roman sighed, taking a sip of his new drink. "Well… I don't know if I did anything quite as exciting…"

They began to explain their days since they'd been apart, with a lot more laughter and vigor than they might have displayed otherwise. It was sweet and as each of them spoke, Roman watched the other paying rapt attention. As it turned out, Seth hadn't embarked on any wild helicopter rides to the dry tortugas, and Dean had actually napped through a lot of the afternoon, but their stories were interesting nonetheless. When both men looked to Roman with interest, he felt a little stupid, recalling how much time he'd spent on the phone with Summer. As comfortable as he felt, light and tingly from drinks and in a generally good mood, Roman didn't want to talk about his sister's surrogacy conversation and simply shrugged, licking his lips.

"I went up to this other little cuban place for some late breakfast. Had some good food there." Roman admitted, leaning back in his seat to fiddle with his bun, re-tying his hair into a firmer knot. "I had actually gone there with Dan way back when... it's about the same as the last time I went."

"When did you come here with Dan?" Dean asked, more curious than accusatory. Seth fiddled with the label on his beer. 

"Oh man, like… four or five years ago now. Damn." Roman muttered, surprised. "It was one of the first trips we took and we just drove down and stayed in a little bed and breakfast place not to far from here-" he pointed down the road. "Long time ago."

"What else did you do?" Seth asked. Roman shrugged a little and Seth smirked. "See, you  _ say _ you don't get sunburned, but you're getting all freckly." 

"Am I? That does happen," Roman grinned, putting his fingers under his eyes where little sunspots crept up, dark against his tan skin. "Y'all got roasted though."

"Don't remind me," Seth muttered, prodding his pink nose. 

"Nah I mean…" Roman gestured to Dean. "He caught me on the phone with my sister when he was riding around. After that I ended up getting some shopping done like you did. I figure the fam will bug me if they don't get their share of swag. I got my parents some stuff, maybe tomorrow I'll grab Tamar and Milo some shirts."

"They'd like that," Dean snickered. 

Roman nodded, pointing to his blonde boyfriend. "They're pumped as shit to see you too, be prepared from them to crawl all over you."

"Your parents need a trampoline I can throw them on," Dean said, draining his beer and looking around expectantly for the waitress. "I'm goddamn starving here."

They ordered their food and Roman felt his chest unwind a little further as Seth reached for his beer glass and ended up tapping his hand. For a moment, he faltered but Roman opened his hand and held Seth's as they listed off their meals to the waitress. Rubbing Seth's own large palm with his, Roman ordered a pork tenderloin with a sweet potato puree, corn and chutney and Dean added on an order of barbeque shrimp as an appetizer they could share. 

"Did you want the order of corn muffins as well?" The waitress asked. All three men grunted and she smiled, scrawling down their orders. "More drinks?"

"Pfff, yeah," Roman said, squeezing Seth's palm before pushing his empty glasses forward. "Y'all gotta catch up."

"Good grief," Seth sighed, patting his own chest. "Uh… a guess I'll have a margarita."

"On the rocks? Salt on the rim?" She asked, Seth nodded. "And for you?" She looked to Dean, who was fidgeting with a straw wrapper.

"I'm gunna get a loooong island," he said, smirking over his sunglasses. Roman laughed and the waitress took their empty beer glasses. "I'm sorry in advance."

"We're on vacation," Roman shrugged, sighing and taking in the sight one the palms over their heads one more time. "Enjoy it while you can."

"I keep seein' people with those pineapple drinks too-" Dean said, pointing back to the main road and tipping in his seat. "I wanna get me one of them."

"I want a coconut one," Seth said, leaning on the little table and playing footsie with Roman's shoe. "What are we going to do when dinner gets here? This thing is tiny," he said of the table, giving the surface a little shake as he moved his elbow. 

"We'll make it work," Roman nodded, very aware of how bright his cheeks were as the waitress returned with another round. By the time his food was going to arrive, he'd be very well lubricated. 

Other than the tables being ridiculously small, the food was amazing and Roman made quick work of his tenderloin, enjoying the happy noises of his boyfriend's being well fed. Just as Seth had mentioned, the place was a lot like their back yard, full of lush plant life and chickens with very little manners. Roman hoped the house was okay and that everything was going well with Sasha and Bayley, and he tried not to think of the long ride that was ahead of him to get from the very bottom of the state to the panhandle in less than a day. If there was some blockage on the road leading out of the keys, it could put them behind by hours. If they hit miami rush hour traffic, they'd be similarly fucked out of a smooth ride, but Roman just drank and tried to relax, watching Seth take a bite of Dean's burger and nod carefully. Things would work out regardless and luckily, he had two good guys that had agreed to share his company.

Just one more day, then a day of travel and they'd be off and away again. It was nice that Hunter had cleared them to take monday to drive back, though Roman was sure that he'd still be exhausted for Water X on tuesday. The waitress stopped by their table and Roman groaned, hearing Dean asking for a round of shots. 

"Where's the potty at?" He tacked on as well, looking around. The waitress indicated a door at the back of the building and both Dean and Seth rose from their seats on unsteady legs, scurrying away.

**Fuckin hammered again** Roman texted Summer, his fingers sliding across the screen of his phone, leaving a smear of dirt.  **Having fun tho not in a bad way!** He tacked on quickly as his sister often worried over his drinking habits.

When she didn't immediately reply, Roman grunted and stood up, sure that he needed to pee as well. Just as he'd thought, he practically groaned when he let loose at the urinal next to Dean and Seth, hardly sure how he was even capable of holding so much liquid in his body.

"You get lonely?" Dean teased, butting up against him and nearly making their dicks touch as the two men crowded a single urinal. Sober Roman might have cared, but his drunk self was admiring their cocks lovingly, enjoying the differences between Dean's pale, gingery crotch and his own darker, larger dick.

"Yeah I was  _ lonely _ ," Roman snorted "And full of piss. Were you picking this one up?" He looked at his boyfriend carefully, thinking about the math of the bill and trying to gauge who hadn't paid for food recently. Seth gave a dull snicker. 

"Yeah yeah…" Dean muttered, zipping up his pants. "I'll pay."

"I think-" Roman said, struggling to form his thoughts as another person came in to use the bathroom. "We should go take a picture at the southernmost point. We didn' take a good photo of all of us yet."

"We took one on the boat the other day," Dean said, squinting and making Roman sigh. 

"Yeah but like, a  _ cute _ one or somethin'," he said, slightly put out. "Fine forget it, whatever."

"No let's do it!" Seth said, sounding a sloppy with a sort of alcohol soaked tone. It was pretty cute and Roman smiled, sure that a little walk would be a nice way to gauge the activities for the evening. 

Returning to their table, Roman downed the shot of rum with a resigned expression and led the way out through the little gate, showing his boyfriend's down the road to where the marker was. It was only a couple blocks and although he was tired from walking and still carrying around his parent's gift, he was happy to hold Seth's hand and show them around. 

"This's so much fun," Seth mumbled at his side, intermittently squeezing Roman's hand as though testing to see if it was real. "I wanna tell you guys what I got you today…"

"Oh yeah?" Dean jeered. Roman blinked, hoping that Seth hadn't gotten them anything too expensive. Roman knew that he'd paid for the boat and taken care of a lot of the expenses for the trip so he needn't feel strange, but it was still a struggle sometimes to accept such tokens of affection. 

"Yeah," Seth mumbled, winding himself around Roman's tattooed arm like a happy child.  "You're gunna  _ love  _ it."

"Somethin' sexy?" Roman asked curiously, squeezing his hand again. By Seth's dopey expression and curling grin, he would have thought it was some sex toy or porn or something. The idea of a male stripper showing up at their boat made his dick throb, but Roman knew he shouldn't expect such a thing. Suddenly, Dean yelled and broke him out of his train of thought. They watched, confused as their boyfriend bolted across the street and returned a few minutes later with one of the pineapple drinks he'd discussed previously. Roman had gotten one of the fruit drinks years back and they were always good, if not overpriced. Judging by Dean's expression, he seemed happy with his purchase. 

"Those are good, aren't they?" Roman laughed, watching Dean assist Seth in trying the drink. They kept moving on to the marker and Seth connected their hands, pulling all three men along with himself in the middle, half walking, half tripping on their feet. For Roman, it was the sort of thing he wished they could do in Orlando or around his parents, openly making his love aware for both men without fear of repercussions. Blissfully de-stressed and head buzzing with rum and good food, he adjusted the bag of goods in one hand and kept Seth sturdy in his other, guiding him along as best as he could manage with his own shoddy balance. 

"I bought sexy underwear," Seth admitted eagerly, looking to each of them. "Like, girly panties."

"You did what now?" Dean said, stopping in his tracks. Roman chuckled, privately relieved Seth hadn't bought anything hugely expensive. 

"I bought a bunch. There was a sale," he hiccuped, blinking hard. "Sexy stuff."

"Fuck, okay," Dean murmured, Roman watched as he went to readjust his dick with Seth's own hand and Seth laughed, his hair falling out from behind his hat in a mess. The shot was really sinking in now, stacking on top of all the other drinks Roman had bought that night  _ and _ day, and sort of the night before. A couple more and he'd probably start getting rowdy drunk, he thought he was too happy to be in a crying drunk mood at least. 

"Excuse me," he asked an older woman as they approached the southernmost marker. She stopped and turned, immediately blushing at him. "Sorry, do you think you could'a… take a photo of us?" 

"Of course! Of course!" She said, happily accepting Roman's phone in her hands as well as their disposable camera. Unbothered by the sight of Seth's wandering hands grabbing his side, she grinned as she raised the camera and Roman put an arm around his drunkest boyfriend, trying to perk him up a little. Dean just held up the pineapple and cheesed for the photo while Roman swayed on the spot, blinking hard. 

"Do one where you make out and I'll drink my fruit," Dean laughed and Roman fell upon Seth as though he had permission, grinning against his mouth before whisking it open with his tongue. Like a magnet, Seth moaned and pulled his hand up, pulling Roman in deeper and actually grinding his leg a little while everyone around yelled and stared. Dean fanned them sarcastically and Roman broke the kiss off as several strangers approached singing praise and enthusiasm. 

"Look what you did," Roman said, accusing Dean through a thick grin. Seth was still hanging off of him, trying to stand up fully as other people asked them for photos. When the woman handed Roman back his phone, he realized Summer had replied to his text and he set down his bag to type out a response.

**Be safe!** She texted  **let me know when ur settled down for the night**

**Probably gun be soner than later** he sent, pulling up the photos that had just been taken. They were all pretty telling, even in the limited light. Out of the three, Roman probably looked the most stable, grinning with his eyes practically shut. Seth's and Dean's faces were so red, they looked deep fried and there were people in the sides of the frame looking confused as to what they were witnessing. The latter photos were just Seth and Roman making out, and Roman's dick trembled at how blissed out and small Seth looked, despite being similar in size. 

He sent a more chaste photo to his sister and surveyed his boyfriend's carefully. Seth was basically heaped in Dean's lap, probably too sleepy and drunk to take anywhere. Dean looked to be fine, but Roman didn't think he'd object to heading back to the boat. Roman tried several times to open the Uber app and sighed hard as he finally got their addresses in correctly.

"Does this look right?" he asked Dean and Seth, not really sure how they would know the correct locations as Roman hadn't told him. His stomach pinched a little and he felt sort of loopy, overfull of alcohol. "Fuck, I think I need more food..."

"We just ate," Seth laughed, burying himself in Dean's side. "Fuck… food does sound good though."

Roman watched them for a moment, sighing as he requested the car and watched it connect with a driver. As soon as they were getting back, they were going to sloppy fuck each other in panties as far as he was concerned. It wasn't as though he was immune to whiskey-dick, but Roman didn't care, too busy caught up in the fantasy of fucking Seth and grabbing his ass, pounding him senseless while Dean shot come all over his chest. They would probably be loud and probably wake the neighbors, but it would definitely be worth it. 

"You good?" Dean asked, leaning down and looking at Seth in his lap. Roman grunted before he realized that his boyfriend was obviously talking to Seth. His phone buzzed again and the Uber was arriving in one minute.

* * *

Roman ended up tipping the driver Angelo a little extra, just because he was sure they all reeked of alcohol and were stinking up the back of the car as they made their way back to the marina. With the bag for his parents under one arm and Seth alternating between himself and Dean to lean on, the ride back to the boat as pretty quiet after all the noise at the southernmost point. Roman wasn't really feeling motion sick from the vehicle, but his stomach was sort of churning from all the food and alcohol pairing together and giving him indigestion. When they came to a stop and Roman grunted his thanks, it took an extra minute to haul Seth out of the car, setting him back on his feet outside. In the darkness, he could still see that Seth was bleary and drunk, struggling to make sense of where they were.

"Do you wan' me to carry you in?" Dean asked as Roman waved off the driver, sure they were at the right spot.

"Wha?" Seth mumbled, letting go of Roman and trying to make his own way. "I… got it… just make sure I don' fall…"

Roman was a little nervous, holding tight to Seth to get him from the dock to the bow without slipping or dropping his phone. But they managed to get inside and turn all the lights on, setting down their things in a sort of final way, like the day was finished. Seth slumped into the bedroom and Dean stalked off to the bathroom while Roman checked his phone, typing out  **made it** to his sister before he realized his battery was at around ten percent. He wasn't surprised, as he'd been using the thing non stop that day, but he pocketed the device quickly as though he should save it's energy. 

Dean came into the kitchen just as Roman was fussing with his shirt, feeling incredibly hot as the AC hadn't been running while they were gone. He pulled off his tank top and wiped his face on it, wicking sweat away from his hairline and under his eyes. His boyfriend grabbed a beer from the refrigerator and tossed him one as well. 

"You wanna go out again?" he asked shortly, leaning on the countertop and fishing around in one of the kitchen drawers. Roman sighed, trying to think of something he wanted to do. His stomach had settled down some and he was kind of drunk-hungry. But the thought of Seth being alone on the boat made him feel strange, he didn't think that his boyfriend was going to choke on his own vomit or anything, but Roman honestly was pretty fucking tired and wanted to just relax with the people he wished he could have been with all day. 

"I dunno man, I'm pretty fuckin' fried," he said, leaning into the wall for support. Dean grabbed a knife and prepared his can to shotgun the contents. Roman's mouth twitched and he decided to do the same. If he and Dean just got drunk and stayed up, that wouldn't be a waste of time. He sometimes felt jealous of when his boyfriends stayed up late and watched TV together, never really sure what he was missing out on. 

"Where the hell are these panties anyway?" Roman he asked, tossing the beer can in the bottom of the sink and feeling dazed from the rush of liquid in his body. "You haven't seen 'em yet?"

"They're in them bags," Dean said, patting his chest and pointing to the other side of the living space. For a moment, Roman wondered if he was going to puke, but he swallowed hard and sniffed, pulling off his stained shirt and looking around. "Fuckin… all his shit…"

"Mm," Roman said, sure that he didn't want to go poking around in Seth's things without permission, He looked in the refrigerator for a moment, hoping there might be some snacks. Really, all they had was beer though.  "I dunno man, I'd be down to get some fourth meal," he said, shutting the fridge door. "But I don't want Seth to like… get sick or somethin' and need us. Plus I figure I'll be spendin' money tomorrow night so I better save it now."

"I'll buy, he's fine," Dean said simply, but before Roman could make up another excuse, Seth's voice was heard from the bedroom, echoing " _ Deeeeeean-ooooo _ …. _ Uuuuuuceyyyy _ ." 

They both laughed and Roman massaged his chest, feeling bloated and gross from all the food and drink he'd had, distinctly unsexy. His dick was doing the annoying thing where it got hard and soft in drunken intervals without much rhyme or reason. Roman really wanted to just put on a clean shirt or rinse off and chill out, he hated feeling like he wanted to eat again, already uncomfortably certain he'd probably gained a few pounds since they'd set off on their trip. 

"Be a minute," he called to Seth in the other room, buying some time and trying to distract himself from his own thoughts. Dean was zoning out a little, and Roman stared at him, trying to soften his voice. "You havin' a good night?" 

"Yeah yeah," Dean mumbled, grabbing a Four Loko as Roman frowned, hoisting himself up some to sit on the countertop. "Why?"

"You're just you, I jus' gotta ask sometimes," Roman said, sure that Dean was telling the truth, but always puzzled by how he shut himself away. Drinking from his awful can and standing slumped in the kitchen, Roman thought he looked like he wanted to say something, but couldn't get the words out. He sniffed loudly and patted over, making Roman's heart flutter as Dean put his smaller hands on his larger thighs, looking up at him with his pale blues. 

"After all the boat shit…" Roman said, trying to explain his own frame of reference.  "Snorkeling... "

"'M fine," Dean whispered, softening as Roman threaded his fingers through Dean's dirty blonde hair, making him hum with his eyes closed. "'Member how I liked it?"

"I 'member," Roman grinned, enjoying Dean's soothing little circles he was rubbing into his thighs.  "Just want' to check."

Dean's head dropped, clearly remiss to speak if he was going to receive head pats anyway. Other than the small of his back, Dean really only liked being touched on his head and it had been months before he'd let that on. Privately, Roman really hoped they could get to a point where there wasn't anything that tripped him up as far as being touched, wondering what exactly it was that made his boyfriend so averse to hands on his hips, thighs or belly. If he'd been ticklish, that would be one thing, Roman's sides were really ticklish and he usually squirmed around when anyone messed with them. But Dean's thing was different and Roman was coming to realize he'd grown up in a really physically family. Everyone was always touching everyone, whether it was hugs or shoulder pats or wrestling with his cousins in the backyard. It was just how he was raised. 

But then, being able to touch Dean was just so much more special because of the gentleness he had to observe. Where Seth was much more free with his body, Roman appreciated Dean's more for the fact he didn't offer it up nearly as easily. So, when Dean asked for a kiss, Roman's heart tingled pleasurably, leaning in and treating him as sweetly as possible. His goatee brushed Dean's fuzz, but he didn't press hard, barely using his tongue and trying not to taste Four Loko.

"I'm falling asleeeeep," Seth moaned, coming into the kitchen and looking like a rumpled, sleepy mess, completely naked and using the wall for support. 

"Where are these panties at?" Dean asked sharply, breaking away from Roman and pointing. "I need to see."

"Oh yah," Seth muttered, eyes widening as he stumbled to the bags in the corner. Roman made quick work of getting to his side, sure that the last thing he could deal with at the moment was Seth twisting his knee in a drunken stupor. 

"You okay babe?" he asked, trying to sound sober. "I don't want you to fall and break yourself."

"He already did that once today, 's fine," Dean snorted, watching Seth begin to toss some black underwear onto the floor recklessly, swaying on the spot. Roman whooped at the lacy selection, but Dean seemed suddenly less enthused, shooting Roman a look of quiet exasperation.

"Just  _ black _ ?" he mumbled. Roman giggled at his tone, obviously disappointed by Seth's tendency to lean away from brighter colors. "C'mon man,"

"'S all they had," Seth said, allowing Roman to steady him again."We can all.. Wear 'em…"

Of the three, Roman was probably the least stimulated by frilly lace panties, but he was definitely game to indulge his boyfriends. After Seth had gone through the slippery business of choking him out, he had little ground to stand on if he wanted to tease. Just the thought of having hands around his throat made his dick roll around rambunctiously, but Roman was still sure that he was incapable of getting off. Regardless, he still wanted to participate obviously and he followed his boyfriends into the bedroom with a good attitude a little stumbling, trying to make sense of his shorts. He sucked in his stomach a little, pushing the rest of his clothes to the side as Seth pulled on one of the pairs of panties.

The moment seemed to call for some sexy soundtrack and Roman stooped down, trying to grab his phone from his shorts pocket in order to get a Spotify track going. It took a moment, but he remembered his phone was dying and frowned. His phone charger was plugged into the outlet by the pullout couch and he quickly half jogged across the boat, going to just plug the phone in there and leave it be. He could worry about it later. 

"No music," he mumbled, as though Dean and Seth were even remotely paying attention to what he was doing. "Phone was bout to die..."

It was nice to just have a soundtrack of Seth's sinful noises and Dean's sloppy kissing anyway as the two began fondling each other mercilessly. Roman cut in, following his own bliss as he ran his fingers down Seth's chest, appreciating the surface and outlining the little pair of silk black panties holding back his sleepy cock. Pushing the fabric to the side, Roman sank down, kissing the surface fondly feeling his own dick perk up, pressing against the bed a little. Seth wasn't a picture of cleanliness, but they were all drunk and it hardly mattered, numb to most of what they were sensing anyway. For Roman, it felt kind of primal, going down on his boy's ass and tasting the thing unfiltered. 

"You wan' firsts?" Dean asked after a few minutes of careful attention to Seth's mouth. Roman looked up, a little hazy from keeping his eyes shut and burrowing down into the warm crevice between his boyfriend's legs. He hesitated, pulling fuzz off his tongue and blushing a little. 

"Uh… I'm probably no good…" he admitted, keeping himself distracted by toying with Seth's cock and balls, trailing a finger down his taint and hearing him sigh pleasurably. "But I'll give't a whack…" he paused, feeling his boyfriend slightly disconnected from what they were agreeing to. Seth was usually a picture of willingness, practically throwing ass at them to be fucked. "Is he okay?" Roman asked Dean, looking to were Seth's face was tucked away, hair a mess. 

Seth giggled a little and Dean raised an eyebrow. Tapping the man's cheek a few times to get his attention, he murmured, "You good?" Shaking Seth's head a little while Roman looked on, concerned. He obviously didn't want to fuck his boyfriend if he was too drunk to understand what was happening, especially since he was too drunk to really get it up anyway. 

"What?" Seth hiccuped loudly, his hands shaking to life.

"You okay?" Roman asked, making his voice loud and clear. He tapped his boyfriend's thigh a few times, looking for a response. "You're pretty sleepy babe..."

"Mm fine," Seth pouted, making them laugh as he reached for Dean's crotch. "Put… a dick… in me…"

It wasn't perfect, But Roman was willing to try, sure he'd have Seth whining until he was fucked at least a little. Really, Roman didn't know why Dean didn't just fuck Seth, but the moment he managed to slide inside, Dean's face said it all. As often as Roman would have loved to put on a shirt or keep the lights off when he was expected to perform, Dean never let on that he was anything less than dazzled by the sight of his body. While he always felt weird about how his skin shook with every hump, Seth just gasped and sighed, welcoming cock from every angle. The truth was, and Roman knew it already, that he was the only one that gave a damn about his little pooch or his stretch marks or how wide he was in comparison to Seth's more toned physique or Dean's tiny fucking waist. He kept the panties crumpled to the side as he shifted back and forth, riding the little high of holding his lover tight and filling him up with everything he had. Dean watched, head back, stroking his dick and Seth breathed hard, letting out a little song of hums. For a few minutes it worked great, but Roman knew it wasn't really going anywhere, just feeling good.

He was a morning guy after all, a morning guy that liked to turn, fuck, roll over and keep sleeping. There wasn't any sense in rubbing Seth raw on a soft dick anyway, and Roman sighed, pushing away sweaty locks of hair, weighing his options. 

"Maybe… not…" he sighed, withdrawing and blushing with mild embarrassment as his dick hung exhausted between his legs. Seth immediately began throwing a diva fit however, and Roman rolled his eyes, patting his boyfriend's chest and assuring him he'd be fine for a few moments without cock. Sure enough, Dean stepped up to the plate, sinking in where Roman had pulled away. 

"This is my kinda job," he grunted, making off with the lube as Roman flopped down onto the bed nex to them, getting a good view. His dick wasn't totally asleep, and he rubbed it fondly, trying not to let any fluids dry in a way that felt uncomfortable around his ass cheeks. 

"Fuckin' mad man," he grunted, watching Dean put a hand to Seth's ass as though testing the waters. " _ Lunatic _ ."

"Bussy master," Dean proclaimed, toying with the panty string and letting it snap back against Seth's hip with a little flap. Roman had no idea how he could keep it up, but he wasn't mad, watching the scene unfold before his eyes. He smirked as Seth whined, obviously upset with hearing the word  _ bussy _ . 

"No callin' it that," he croaked. Dean chuckled, and Roman came closer to be more included. Seth was just too perfect and vulnerable to be left alone and he scooped him into his lap so the man was lying back to front against his chest. With a drunken, sloppy grip, Roman settled him down, enjoying the sensation of his ragged breaths just inches away from his ear. When Dean pressed in, Roman felt it in the way that Seth's ass clenched, then relaxed and his body shivered. Turning his head, Roman kissed his cheek and as Dean looked over them both, Roman got the blurry impression he was fucking them both. His face was flushed in concentration and Roman turned, whispering in Seth's ear. 

"I got you babe, you're good," he kissed the side of his head again, trying to provoke some slutty string of words. Dean fucking loved dirty talk and while it usually embarrassed Roman a little, he wanted to get Seth blabbing. "You like when he fucks y'like that?"

Seth was on another planet, groaning and nuzzling his head against Roman's for stability as Dean went about slapping his ass and shoving deeper. Roman could practically feel his cock as Seth's backside vibrated against his own hips, shimmying with the rhythm and letting off high whines in Roman's ear. Grinning from his boyfriend's enjoyment, Roman grasped his sides, holding him upright so he could wail against the sensation of being lined up like a target, pushed against the barrage of force that was Dean's cock,  

"Tell 'im," Roman encouraged, fluffing Seth's hair and laughing as Seth just let out a cry. "Let him know."

Dean went faster and Seth keened louder and Roman knew they were hitting that climax, rolling around in the sweat across his chest. He wouldn't put it past Seth to have a proper orgasm, gifted as he was at zeroing in on his own pleasure and seeing himself through to the other side. His thighs kept clenching back and forth and from his back, Roman could feel hiccups thudding against his chest at irregular intervals while Dean breathed hard, fucking Seth flat between them. Finally, Seth let out a whorish scream and Roman found himself licking the salty sweat off his face, kissing and comforting him through what he thought was a rocky orgasm. Dean's face strained as well, his lips turning white and his hands jumping to ground himself. 

"You gunna come?" Roman asked him while Seth squirmed, knocking his breath away. He gasped with a curt nod and dripped sweat down Seth's chest. The hair there curled into a wet spiral, heaving with his ribcage. Roman paused as he felt Seth stutter and then let out a choked sob, suddenly worried they'd done something very wrong. He was still shifting, twitching from all the sensations he was feeling and Roman tried to think if there had been a moment where he'd faded out or become confused in his drunken state. If Seth hadn't been properly aware of what was happening… well… Roman wasn't sure what the hell he was going to do about that.

"Seth babe," he said, as gentle as he could manage. Roman pushed Seth's hair away from his face, heart racing fast. Dean shifted and Roman snapped his fingers hard and loud, demanding he stay still. Dean grunted, and Roman kissed Seth's cheek, horrified at his strained expression. " _ Whoa whoa _ …"

"'M fine," Seth snivelled, but Roman wasn't convinced, holding him tighter and suddenly wondering if he wasn't smothering his boyfriend. But as Seth sighed, he began to relax. "I just… it's  _ so _ good…"

Roman thought he had had a heart attack and blinked hard, wondering if Seth was ever going to stop terrifying him like this. Dean just laughed as eased himself away, relinquishing Seth to go and clean himself up. Massaging his chest and putting a hand to Seth's forehead, Roman tried not to be upset with the ridiculousness of the scene. 

"You  _ sure  _ you're good?" he asked, surveying his boyfriend as he made little wet noises, wiping his face of tears and sweat with clumsy fingers. Seth nodded a little and Dean leaned in to give him a kiss, more amused than anything. Never in his life had Roman had a partner cry in bed, but they usually weren't drunk and floating on a houseboat, fucking each other in a big, rum soaked pile. Seth's labored breaths grew more shallow and Roman just lay with a hand to his head, trying to calm his own jumping heart. Dean handed him a towel eventually and Roman pressed it against all the places Seth wasn't lying on him, sure that he'd feel disgusting if he didn't rinse off soon. The bed was really going to reek when they returned it.

"You don' still wanna go out, do you?" he asked Dean, rubbing Seth's head and watching his other boyfriend mop up and sit on the other end of the bed, scooting closer until he was laying down with them, crowded in. Roman sighed happily. It had been awhile since they'd all been in bed together like this. He was really going to be glad when they had the new bed frame set up at home. 

"Nah, I'll call it," Dean muttered, snuggling into Roman's open arm. A warm breeze rolled in through the window, offering some ventilation as they laid out in a hot pile on the bed. Dean picked at something on his leg and Roman swatted his hand, stopping him from picking a scab.

"Maybe… tomorrow night…" he sighed, redirecting Dean's hand to his own chest and then scratching idly at his crotch. From his other side, Seth hummed, tunneling further into him and Dean hummed in agreement, a resounding chorus. "Go all out… if we're not too tired…"

It was difficult to say what the next day would hold and similarly to how they'd conducted that Thursday, their Friday was just as wide and open in the realm of possibilities. Key West had been a lot of fun and Roman knew he probably had to do a little more shopping before he left. First though, he would sleep, as long and late as he needed. His head already started to pound a little and he was just glad that he had Dean and Sth next to him, breathing deeply and lying still, obviously happy to be there. Roman really, really fucking loved both of them and sometimes he still couldn't believe his luck, to have two gorgeous guys at his side. For all their faults and ticks, and for all the thoughts his parents put into his head regarding their own expectations, Roman didn't want to trade it for anything. 

"Whatever we do I'll be happy," Dean yawned, speaking truth to the air as Roman meditated on how grateful and satisfied he was. He knew he should probably turn the lights off and lock the doors, but he couldn't be bothered, cemented to the bed by the embrace of his lovers. 

"Did 'omthone wipe'm butt?" Seth mumbled sleepily. Dean laughed hard and Roman's snickered,  watching Seth shift as though to test his bottom's cleanliness.

"Yeah, we wiped your butt," Dean said. Roman felt Seth heave a sigh, his features going slack again as he relaxed, apparently content with their honesty. Outside the window, the stars twinkled bright and the moon was full and luminous over the boundless water, turning the water white with an endless dance of reflecting, shimmering ripples. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Continued in Part 6


	22. Shield Key [Part: 6]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seth does something he's not proud of. Will it ruin their vacation?

Waking in a hurried haze, Seth pulled himself from the bed as he felt his throat kicking up fast and horrible. Confused, his balance thrown off and his consciousness blurred by his sudden rise to alertness, he stumbled into a sprint to the kitchen for water. His mouth was deathly dry and his head was pounding hard.

_ Nope _ he thought simply, and his stomach revolted. Seth pushed past the sink stupidly and ran to the bow of the ship. Hurtling himself past the deck furniture, he let out a sickly hiccuped burp as he sprayed vomit into the ocean water, right over the railing. His head was swimming and hair hung in sweaty, nasty tangles as Seth gagged, heaving up rum and spent food and beer. It was disgusting and he strained his face, falling to his knees and wincing between the pain and his head and the sting of his bad joint, resting on the hard surface of the bow. The boat swayed a little, doing nothing helpful for his churning stomach, and for a few moments, Seth just spit, trying to assess his condition. 

He'd been _ really _ fucking drunk. He was still drunk, spitting up bile and hanging his head over the side of the boat. His mouth was open, prepared to puke again if he had to, and his throat kicked up uncomfortably from his chest. In the distance, Seth could hear people at the street level, talking loudly and laughing, still enjoying their night. 

Or morning. It was still dark, but it had to be late. Or early. 

Seth's head pounded and he heaved one last time, wiping his eyes and feeling them tearing down his cheeks. He needed water, but for nearly fifteen minutes, he didn't move, scared to walk around and find himself nauseous again. Seth thought about calling to Dean or Roman, but he didn't want to wake them when he was just sick. There was no reason to think he was anything worse than hungover and as Seth gathered his alertness, he clutched his belly and walked back inside, only swaying a little as he made his way to the kitchen sink and let the water run. He drank greedily from the tap and washed his face in the water, shaking himself dry and staring out around the boat. They'd left the lights on all night and the brightness was murder on his aching head. Quickly, he turned them all off and went to the bathroom to piss in the darkness, elbows propped up on his thighs, head in his hands.

_ This _ was why he didn't drink often and Seth vaguely recalled stumbling home, getting fucked and being a downright dimwit, wailing for sex and actually crying in bed. He couldn't imagine facing his lovers in the morning and  _ not _ being mercilessly teased. Seth was just a very embarrassing drunk and he wasn't even sure how he'd managed to get so intoxicated in such a short period of time. Roman and Dean had drank way more than he had and his tolerance wasn't  _ that _ bad. But his ass felt battered from the pummeling he'd taken and Seth flushed the toilet with a groan, head pounding as he returned to his feet, sort of at a loss for what to do. The adrenaline from vomiting was making his heart work twice as fast and Roman and Dean were snoring loudly from the bed, unaware that he'd gotten up. In his shorts pocket on the floor of the bedroom, Seth found his phone, completely dead. Blinking and trying to remember where he'd put his charger, he walked out to the living space with the pull out couch and fished around by the floor awkwardly. 

In the wall socket, both Roman's and Dean's phones were charging, stacked on top of each other and glowing with full batteries. For a moment, Seth just sat, mind completely blank. Both screens showed the time of 2:13 and both of his boyfriend's continued to snore from the bedroom, dead asleep. Without any internal monologue guiding him for or against any decision, Seth plucked Dean's phone from the charger like fruit from a tree and stuck his own phone into the wall instead. Dean's phone's light came on and Seth squinted at the picture of Crispy on the lock screen.

Just as it had been before, Dean's phone was very bare. The only real difference from the last time Seth had held it was perhaps a few extra cracks on the already busted surface. Opening up Dean's picture gallery, Seth smiled softly at the sight of their vacation through Dean's eyes. His headache didn't respond particularly well to his staring at the bright screen so Seth hastened to turn down the brightness on the display.

There were pictures of chickens running around a few small alleyways. A picture of a fish that a man was holding, shining a brilliant green hue. Photos were snapped of the ocean, blowing by from the back of a boat. Their chess game was also there, among a few awkward snaps from the snorkeling trip where the three looked oddly forced with their smiles. Seth grunted at a few pictures Dean had snapped of him from behind, walking through the boat and obviously unaware he was being filmed. One photo was particularly cute, showing Roman sitting in an inner tube off the side of the  _ Delta Sierra Romeo _ , smiling huge with sunglasses and a beer in his hand.

It was all sort of expected and Seth massaged his chest a little, feeling heartburn creeping up in his throat. He wasn't sure what he was expecting because he had no idea what he was doing, and for a moment, he hovered over Dean's inbox. There were two new messages. 

Straining to hear from the bedroom, Seth could make out the individual snores of each men and he knew he would have some notice if they woke and made their way out of bed.  _ Why had they even left their phones out here anyway? _

Seth opened the message inbox and scanned down the columns, seeing his and Roman's names in the list with their group chat at the top. Roman's text of **_Blue heaven tonight at 6 for dinner?_** And his own reply of **_sounds good_**  had gone unread and Seth blinked, wondering if Dean could have possibly slept through dinner if Seth hadn't woken him up. 

Scanning down the rest of the list, there were two phone numbers Seth didn't recognize and he opened their conversations slyly, wondering what they might be. He swallowed back a hiccup in his throat and squinted at the text which was something about the farmers market and soap making. Hardly anything interesting. It was very apparent that Dean wasn't hiding anything and Seth put the phone down, unamused, wondering what the fuck he was even trying to find. His skin tingled and his heart was still beating fast. He told himself he was still drunk, which explained his behavior very conveniently. Picking up Roman's phone, Seth went right for the inbox, unlocking the screen with ease and hardly bothering to mingle around the man's camera or his apps. Every other time he'd picked up Roman's device, he'd chickened out before he could  _ really  _ look at it. Roman was on his phone a lot more than Dean anyway. It was harder to find time to see what was on the device.

Roman only had one new message, and Seth's thumping heart beats threatened to overlap as he landed right in the conversation, accidentally checking the message as  _ read _ . Summer's contact info was at the top of the screen and Seth blinked, sighing hard. He was already there. 

**_Thanks lil Uce_ ** She'd texted at 10:22 

**Made it** Roman had texted at 10:18, then,  **Probably gun be soner than later** , at 9:49 with a photo of the three of them looking very drunk. Seth cringed at his ridiculous expression, holding tight to Roman and grinning foolishly. 

**Be safe!** **let me know when ur settled down for the night** she'd texted at 9:38, and Seth scrolled up impatiently, trying to see what was happening in an order that made sense. Their conversation went on forever and Seth blinked as he reached the top of the screen and promptly watched more and more messages load. He did this a few times, snorting as the phone took a few moments to think. Sure that he didn't have all night to read a bunch of shit, Seth finally paused and squinted at the date, finding that he'd landed on at conversation from late February.

**No I think Dad was trying to get tickets for his friend, they weren't actually going up there.**

**It's his friend Skyler's family? I think u met them once… but they were just in Atlanta the one night and I think they just wanted something to do no big deal.**

**One of these days coach isn't going to get a better job and Dads gunna disown me cause i wont have the hook up anymore -_-**

**Jordans talking this big game about how hes going to get into bama so if that happens I think u will be okay XD**

**Roll bama roll**

And then, two days later, around nine AM. 

**The big day!**

**I think?**

**Was it today I don't remember haha**

**Yeah were doing it after work**

A few hours later

**Are you excited ? Mom and dad arent really saying anything. How are the boys?**

**Boys are good**

**Its whatever Seths been here for so long it would be weird if he wasnt here at this poin t**

Seth's heart fluttered at the use of his name and he read further, his interest piqued. It was really weird seeing his life with Roman reduced to flat pixels on a screen and he was forced to read some lines over again to try to understand what was being said. 

**I guess yeah**

**Mom said she was expecting it or something but thats it. Congrats tho! I hope it all goes well and its not a big mess. Do u have anyone else helping you?**

**No we got it pretty well covered**

**Thanks sis**

It took Seth a moment to realize they were talking about the move and he scrolled through a few pictures Summer had sent of Tamar and Milo holding up some project they'd probably made for school as well as a picture of Summer's husband holding a bottle of wine and grinning huge for the photo. Roman's responses were mostly some variation of  **_cool_ ** or  **_nice_ ** until Seth saw a blurry picture of a giant raccoon lurking around some garbage cans, fat and mean. 

**Rosey is saying I should shoot it?? But we dont even have a gun and I think our neighbors would freak the f out.**

**We had a python in our yard yesterday! We had to call some people to take it away**

**Apparently it was huge as shit I didnt see it but I got a call from home about it**

**Omg thats the worst!!!!!**

**I wouldnt feel bad about killing a snake i dont think**

Several hours later

**Did u see moms e card?**

**Yeah**

**Were u all going? Or…?**

**Still figuring it out**

It was simultaneously thrilling and boring at the same time. Seth tried to imagine how his own texts conversations might look to an outsider, and he supposed it wouldn't make for much interesting reads as he barely ever discussed anything at length on his phone. Roman was different though, and as Seth read on, he found that he and Summer usually talked several times a week, sometimes just popping by to say hi, with the occasional photograph or update. But sometimes, they texted back and forth all day, discussing at length what was going on. Seth was just about to get out of the string of texts, rather bored of hearing about his boyfriend's sister's husband's work issues, but at the bottom his eyes widened, seeing a large chunk of text load into view.

**Okay vent time**

**Did mom tell you about the fridge deal? Were getting a new fridge because the old one is kind of small for three dudes and dean always has takeout and seth always has a fuck ton of icecream and i barely fucking care but I told them several times we were getting it and they dont even care. Like- i need them to clean this shit out because im busy with fucking school work and they look at me with these stupid expressions and im going crazy**

**All i want to do is break shit and eat sushi**

**And Seth went to some fucking yoga class with his friend and now hes limping *several gun emojis***

Seth blinked, gritting his teeth and feeling the blood drain out of his face. Why the fuck was Roman telling his sister all of this shit?

**Oh nooo!!! Idiot!**

**Whats dean doing?**

**Being fuckin useless and not talking to me**

**Do u want to call me**

**Yeah but im at the gym**

Seth furrowed his brow and stared at the bedroom where his boyfriend was sleeping, feeling hurt and annoyed. Why the fuck hadn't he said any of this to Seth and who the fuck just blew up someone's phone with a string of whining complaints about other people? He hadn't expected this of Roman, and it was made even more confusing by a picture he sent to Summer a few days later with an awkward snap of Dean and himself standing at Best Buy, staring at toasters. 

**Getting it done?**

**Yup**

It was sort of infuriating because Seth couldn't read between the lines. He _ didn't _ know if Roman had ever called his sister or what was left unsaid. Roman had said he was venting and the complaints probably weren't to be taken to heart, but Seth still felt defensive, staring at the screen, at a loss for what to do with his thoughts. Summer and Roman talked for a week about his classes and Tamar getting bullied at school, without any mention of Dean or Seth. Roman sent pictures of Crispy and the garden and Summer sent Roman a picture of his mother giving one of her sons a haircut. Seth skipped the meaningless bits and what appeared to be some random messages of  **_Did you call me?_ ** And  **_Can u send me that link?_ **

Seth thought his heart stopped as he heard Roman's snores muffle for a moment, but he just continued snoring, catching something in his throat. Seth sighed, rubbing his head and scrolling down the screen again. He didn't think he had enough hours of daylight to read every single message they traded back and forth. 

He paused as a picture of a doorway. The words SETH ROLLINS DEAN AMBROSE and ROMAN REIGNS written in Dean's childish scrawl

**Dean is taller than me fml**

**Really?**

**Wow**

Seth suppressed a snort, reading on.

**Do you think we can stay with u when we come up for easter? I think it might be easier for the boys mentally**

**Im asking jimmy and jey tho so if u dont have space dont sweat it**

**I had just texted jey earlier tho and he didnt get back to me yet. Is he still working at the warehouse?**

**Did he not tell you? He lost his phone last weekend when he got pulled over and i think we was waiting till next week to get a new one because of his plan or something.**

**He got another dui? r u serious**

**Big uce is so mad at him o_o Idk exactly what happened with it but i would try his fb if u wanna ask him about it**

**The way he made it sound it was like his phone got confiscated or st so maybe he'll get it back**

**Ill ask trevor though maybe we can figure out the basement..? Its kinda tight around here :/**

**Dont worry**

Seth had no idea what to make of the revelation regarding Roman's cousin, suddenly remembering that they'd been cleared to stay there. Seth  _ knew _ Roman hadn't mentioned any of this and the whole thing seemed very fishy and weird. When he'd met Jimmy and jey, Seth hadn't thought that they were that troubled. Idiosyncratic, sure, but not in any ongoing legal battles. If Roman was hiding stuff so Seth would agree to go to Pensacola, he  _ was _ being deceptive and Seth's chest constricted with more pressure, reading on and readjusting as he felt his legs going numb.

**I might have broken my bed frame**

**...congrats…?**

**Dont act like ur not jealous**

And then,

**Hey mom is probably going to call you today about easter, just a heads up. Did u figure out whats up? I dont think you guys would fit at all here because trevor is lagging ass on the basement again**

**I talked to jimmy it should be fine**

And then, several hours later…

**Well that fucking sucked**

**What**

**Did she call you?**

**She called me and cussed me out and then had dad fucking freak out at me and dean and seth watched it all and probably think im a fucking pussy who cant do anything because i cried like a fucking bitch again**

**How much therapy do u think i need to like, get over this bs? Its like me and vanessa have fucking ptsd from them yelling at us and every time this shit happens i honestly want to ask them if they really think anyone is going to marry me and have kids if theyr going to be at my wedding acting like goddamn psychopaths**

**Sorry this is late i took some meds and im fine**

**Do you want to call me?**

**No, really its fine**

**What all did she say?**

Seth looked at the time stamp, fingers numb. This was at like one in the morning just about a week ago, probably the same night Roman had been on the phone with his family. As much as it stung for Seth to read the texts, he did kind of agree with Roman, wondering why he didn't do therapy to address these issues. It was hard to imagine Roman sitting up late at night, talking to his sister while he and Dean just slept, without a thought.

**She gave me grief about the fridge, said that if i wasnt going to spend time with the family and stay at her place i didnt need to come up and if i was going to just fuck off and go on vacation and not bring my boyfriends to be part of the family i was being selfish and im lazy because i dont make an effort to congratulate rosie on being fucking perfect and having more kids**

***rosey**

**So i told her that shes being ridiculous because the last time i was there dad freaked out my partners by starting a scene and that its a lot to ask for anyone to come to family gatherings because of how they behave and so she started crying and then dad yelled at me for making her cry**

**Im just so fucking tired and sick of it**

**I know shes been really stressed out about some shit with the new baby, thats probably why she did it**

Seth squinted, not really understanding how the two things were related. He was suddenly possessed by the fact that he had Roman's whole inbox at his disposal and he clicked back, seeing the rows of conversations in his boyfriend's inbox. Their group conversation was close to the top, with Seth and Dean's separate conversations there as well. Seth hovered over his private texts with Dean, but saw what he was looking for just a few contacts down, a name that read  **_Mom_ ** over another conversation under  **_Dad_ ** . Fingers trembling slightly. Seth opened up the Mom conversation first, loading the messages. The last one, Roman had replied  **Thanks! Love u** to a long message his mother had typed out. 

**I know that sometimes cell phone reception is hard to come by down there! I just want to say I'm excited to see you and I love you and I respect your life decisions, even though we have our times where we disagree on things. I'm praying for you to have a safe trip, and I know that you will have a lot of fun! Take lots of photos and give me a call when you're on your way home. Love, mom**

It was kind of bizarre and most of their conversations were similar, with Roman's mother typing out a long winded message, only to receive a short response. There were occasional photos of Roman sent along as well, Roman in a football uniform, Roman as a child, looking grumpy and a little shy. Usually, Lisa captioned these with:

**Just saw this the other day and I was wondering where my baby boy had gone!**

Or 

**Who is this handsome man?**

Or 

**Having a hard day today and I need my son! Give me a call when you get a chance!**

Sika's messages contrasted like night and day. Seth frowned, completely lost in the phone and scarcely realizing it was almost three in the morning. 

**Call your mom tomorrow** was a frequent message, and Seth actually scoffed, glancing through messages that dated back several months.  **Check your email** was another one. Roman just replied  **_Okay_ ** and  **_Sorry_ ** at irregular intervals. 

Seth went back to his conversation with Summer and re-read parts before moving on. His brain was still hazy and loose from alcohol, but Seth was really trying to remember everything for quick recall later. His boyfriend definitely wasn't being forthcoming about a lot of this information, and Seth was worried, wondering what the fuck he could possible by walking into. If he hadn't looked at his boyfriend's phone, Seth never would have known any of this was happening. How was he even supposed to bring this up?

He read on, seeing Roman's own fears and hopes reflected before him like some weird movie script. Roman had been texting her pretty frequently throughout the trip, mostly just sending photos to show what he'd been getting up to while Summer gave her approval. Seth's eyes began to hurt as he reached the end of the conversation, reading that mornings text of  **_Got the day to myself_ ** as he heard a stirring from the other room. Like lightning, Seth pulled the conversation down to it's current message, locked the phone, tossed it on the floor and pushed himself flat against the bed, feigning sleep as he heard quick footsteps. His heartbeat pounded in his ears and Seth turned away from the doorway, avoiding the light as he heard Roman groan and slam the bathroom door. The sickening sound of puke falling in the toilet could still be heard clearly and Seth's own stomach turned as he pushed a pillow over his head, trying to block out the noise. However, he found he didn't feel very sympathetic after reading such a string of texts and his mind swam in and out of focus as Roman puked for some time, then got water, then went back to bed, breathing hard through the darkness. 

Seth didn't dare look at the phones again, but he didn't know when he fell asleep, mind sinking in and out of consciousness in a hazy, achy blur. 

* * *

The next day was very difficult and Seth felt sick in his mind as well as physically unwell. He stayed on the pull out couch, rolled up in the loose sheet and highly aware that his mouth tasted like vomit and his body was sweaty and disgusting. As the sun rose and the whole room filled with light, he could hear noises of Dean and Roman moving around, but he didn't acknowledge them. On the whole, Seth was conflicted on a great many things and had no idea what to process what had happened the night before or what he'd seen on his boyfriend's phones.

"You okay?" Roman asked, striding over a few hours after Seth had really woken up. Sore from lying down, he'd sat up for the first time since the sun rose, massaging his temples and nursing a glass of room temperature water.

"I threw up a lot earlier," Seth croaked, feeling his stomach practically contract with hunger and dismay. "I dunno…"

"Yeah I think Dean was the only one who didn't," Roman sighed, gesturing to the bathroom where Dean was taking a shower. "We're talkin' about going to get brunch in a bit here. Anythin' sound good?"

"Not really," Seth moped, lying back down mostly just so he could avoid conversation. Just talking to Roman seemed weird and his head was still pounding hard, like he'd just puked a minute ago. Respecting his space, Roman went to the kitchen and did some dishes, the noise more loud and abrasive than usual. When Dean got out of the shower, he mumbled something to Roman and came by the pullout couch to grab his phone, still damp.

"Not feelin' good?" he asked Seth quietly, "Last night was cray-zee."

Seth didn't say anything, sighing hard and rubbing his eyes. Dean leaned in an placed a kiss in his hair sweetly. It would have been more appreciated if he wasn't so messed up in his head.

"We're… pretty hungry," Roman said, coming to the bedside and clearing his throat. "If you don't wanna come that's no sweat, but I bet you'd feel better if you ate."

"I'm fine, really," Seth said, uncomfortably aware of his boyfriend's stares. "Just… need a sec."

"That's fine," Roman hummed, "How about you just text me if you want somethin, yeah?"

Seth's body felt weird and numb as Roman also grabbed his phone, pocketing it without a second glance and patting Seth on the shoulder before both men made their way out. As soon as they left, Seth took a shower, pulling himself together and trying to act like he was at least a semblance of a human being. He wished he hadn't drank and made an ass out of himself, but he also wished that he hadn't looked at his boyfriend's phones. The whole act was just dirty and weird and as Seth stood under the shower head, scrubbing his beard with soap, he let out a frustrated little sigh, holding back tears. He didn't know why he made these choices and the vacation had been going so well up to that point, Seth didn't want to ruin it because of one stupid little misstep. 

Brushing his teeth, drinking more water and changing the sheets on the bed, he climbed back onto the full mattress, still smelling the putrid dried sweat and stale rum from the night before. It was too difficult to sleep on an empty stomach, but Dean and Roman returned with takeout containers, looking a lot more bright and happy than when they'd left.

"We know you're hungry, there's no damn ass food in here," Dean teased, shaking the plastic bag full of food and wafting the smell of hash browns and pancakes around the bedroom. From his nest of blankets, Seth moaned and hauled himself upright, blushing as Dean put the bag in his lap with a little baggie of plastic utensils.

"I don't care if you got sloppy and puked," Dean said in an uncharacteristically somber voice. Seth watched him, teeter slowly on the spot. "Uce… said you might be all upset about that. We're not mad or anything."

"It… it's not that," Seth lied, tearing open the bag and melting at the sight of a big fresh pancake. "I just felt sick. Bad hangover."

Dean grunted and left Seth to eat his food in bed. The boat started up and Seth peeked his head around the door, watching Roman at the helm, priming the engine. He could hear both men talking and chuckling about something in low tones, and Seth focused in on his pancake, spreading a pre-packaged serving of syrup across the top. His emotions were weird and scared him, and he didn't like feeling angry at one moment and then undeserving and depressed the next. For a few hours, Roman took the boat out and Dean actually went swimming, floating around on the inner tube and talking to Roman, who sat on the swimming platform, sunning himself. After a few hours of being by himself and being confused and apathetic, Seth walked outside and was greeted by their smiles.'

"Feelin' any better?" Roman tried, extending a hand and inviting Seth closer. He allowed himself to be hugged and nodded, smiling at Dean in spite of himself.

"You're swimming?" he chuckled, watching Dean lean on the inner tube lazily, kicking his feet. The boat was far enough out from land where the shoreline was thin and elusive to the east. They were out floating at the mouth of the gulf of Mexico, and his boyfriend looked very comfortable, his fear of sharks apparently forgotten.

"It's the last day," Dean said simply. Seth swallowed hard, feeling his anxiety compound as he realized he had wasted most of the day, sulking and alone. Roman just rubbed his back though, maybe sensing his weird mood and trying to calm his nervousness.

"In about an hour or so we were gunna go to this place called Louie's Backyard, it's fancy," Roman said gently, looking up at Seth for a reaction, "It's got a view of the ocean and I thought we could dress up and eat some good Italian food." Seth nodded, noncommittally and Roman paused for a moment, waiting. "Would you wanna do that? Or…"

"Yeah, yeah," he said, privately dreading the experience but sure that he didn't want to raise any eyebrows. "Sure."

Seth didn't do any last minute swimming, but instead went to go pick out his fine dining clothes and preen himself in the mirror. His nose was nearly peeling and his face looked dry and red from all the sun. Grabbing the bottle of aloe from the fridge, Seth spread the lotion across his face and tried to think happier thoughts. The vacation had been great, he still trusted Roman… sort of. The trip to Pensacola might not be too bad, but in Seth's ears the words from the woman at the House of Blues bar rang in his ears over and over, making his stomach twist, even though he wasn't nauseous anymore. 

_ If you think you gotta snoop the relationship's already shit... _

Seth felt sick, the same sort of sick creeping up that he'd felt when he had to tell his mother he'd cheated on Marek.  _ Why did he do these things? Why was he such a liar and a gross person? _

Roman pulled him aside before they went to the restaurant and Seth wanted to cry, looking rumpled and worried in a white button down shirt and khaki slacks. 

"Are you sick? What's up?" He asked, pulling him in tight and stroking his hair softly. Dean was having trouble finding the belt he'd thought he'd packed and Seth tried to steady himself before he fell apart. He wanted to tell the truth. He _ couldn't _ tell the truth. 

"A little," he sighed, committing to a lie in his mind and staring at his feet. "Knee kind of hurts from yesterday… but I'm just… I dunno… fucking embarrassed about yesterday and I feel like I wasted the whole day," he dabbed at his eyes, spinning some truth in but trying not to let it affect him. "It was weird… um… being around you guys a lot and then not, I think I got overwhelmed and then I got so drunk… I dunno why I acted like that."

"Babe, it's  _ fine _ ." Roman said seriously, dropping his smile as Seth sighed and shook his head. "Like… we've all been way worse than that with our alcohol. You didn't waste your day, this dinner is the only plan we had." 

Seth looked into Roman's eyes and he felt strangely numb, for all of his kind words, Seth began to hear a backdrop of frantic typing, imagining Roman at his phone, texting his sister all manner of complaints about Seth's behavior and his whining and all the little idiosyncrasies that added up to an imperfect being. He blinked and Roman frowned, bending down to kiss him on the lips. 

"I love you, it's okay," he said softly, clearly at a loss. "If you… don't want to go to dinner… we don't have to go."

"No, no, it's fine," Seth said, trying to perk up. "I'm hungry again, really."

Louie's didn't have as firm a dress code as Roman might have thought, but Seth felt marginally better as soon as he left the boat, glad he'd agreed to come. They docked close to where the restaurant was, and it was only a short walk in firm dress shoes. The weather was amazing, and despite his layers, Seth didn't feel as though he was sweating to death. He and Roman had still worn their hair up, though they looked a lot cleaner with trimmed beards and more intentionally crafted buns. 

Dean looked handsome as well as Roman had apparently helped him pick out a soft blue shirt that rode the line between formal and a simple button down. Like Seth, his face was tinged pink, but the shirt seemed to bring out the eyes that resolutely hid behind his bangs.

"Still think you could'a pushed it back," Roman said, fluffing the man's fringe with a half smile. Dean shrugged and Seth could see he was trying not to slouch in his nice outfit.

"Not with this hairline," Dean mumbled, looking to Seth and holding out his hand. "Don't look nearly as good as y'all."

Seth didn't feel as though he was right to hold Dean's hand, but he obviously didn't get the opportunity as often as he liked and Roman grinned, taking Dean's other side as they walked to the boat. The sun was setting slow and calm, and the ocean was a little louder today, more wavy and active, but it only made it more beautiful to look at as they walked down Seminole street. Bikers and tourists were out, taking photos of the serene view. Dean squeezed Seth's palm and Seth squeezed back shortly, immensely grateful. 

"Table on the patio for Reigns?" Roman told the host, pulling off his sunglasses and surveying the restaurant space. All the tables inside had dark blue tablecloths and little candles place a top them. The silverware was rolled into an elaborate knotted and Seth swallowed hard as the waitress brought them out to a table overlooking the brilliant pale green sea shallows, reflecting orange from the setting sun.

"Wow," Seth sighed, unable to help himself. "This is gorgeous." 

"Did you want to start with our bottle of wine?" The waiter began telling a lengthy story about their sommelier in Italy that had chosen some of the bottles that went well with their starters. Dean looked a little overwhelmed and Roman grinned, hardly gourmet enough to make much sense of what was being said.

"A dry chardonnay would be nice," he said, looking around the table, "Yeah?"

"And ice water," Seth said, looking at his empty wine glass without any intention of filling it. The waiter left and he sighed, looking out onto the wonderful ocean view, woefully certain he couldn't appreciate every tiny detail that was contributing to such a glorious evening. Birds called to each other, floating lazily on a sea breeze, and the palms shook their long leaves, a rhythmic soft shivering which dulled the noise from the streets behind them. 

Dean cleared his throat and Roman took out the disposable camera, clicking a photo of the both of them sitting in their nice clothes. He turned the wheel and it began to croak, finally spent.

"Yeah, I took a bunch of photos on the top with that today," Dean admitted, taking the camera from Roman's hands and surveying it. "Thought I'd get some last shots."

"I'll take it to the CVS when we get back and have 'em develop 'em," Roman said, slumping back in his chair and looking to his boyfriend's with his softest smile. "This has been really amazing guys, I don't know how to thank you for coming along and doing this with me."

"Thank  _ you _ ," Seth said, shifting as the waiter returned with a carafe of water, pouring Seth a glass and adding a wedge of lemon. "I never thought we could even do something like this."

"Yeah," Dean echoed, "Didn' know how nice it would be to get away. I feel like I'm gunna be happy to get home… not like I wanna leave here… but like... just in a good mood, y'know."

"I'm sure Crispy misses you," Roman smirked, taking a sip of his Chardonnay. "Yeah… I'm going to be happy to be home too. After we take a quick trip to Pen."

They talked for some time, ordering some lobster truffles and stuffed clams for starters that the waiter insisted went perfectly with the wine. Seth mostly listened, trying to bury away all of his anxieties about Roman's family and just enjoy his lover's company. The more he listened, the more he knew the text conversation's really  _ hadn't _ been for him, but Seth still was glad he  _ knew _ what he'd found out. The food was amazing and Seth ordered some stuffed fontina chicken breast and polenta, sure that anything he tried would have sufficed. 

"I think I wanna do the swordfish," Dean said, looking between Roman and Seth with a sort of determined look. "If I hate it will you eat it?"

"Yeah?" Roman laughed, looking to Dean warmly. "Swordfish is really good!"

"I haven't tried it," Dean admitted, and Seth could see he was sort of nervous, but excited at the same time. "Wanna try eatin' a big sonuvabitch."

"You don't get the whole fish, you know," Seth teased, putting down his own menu. "I don't even think _I've_ had swordfish…"

"I'm going to get you to eat tofu one of these days," Roman said to Dean, drinking from his glass and adjusting the mint green button up he'd worn where it was a little tight across his chest. Dean just shook his head, making a noise. 

"Good luck," he said, "Weird wet bean meat."

"You haven't smoked in a week either, have you?" Roman asked, looking to Dean incredulously. "This has been such a vacation for you!"

"Yeah yeah, don't get too excited," Dean muttered, turning pink behind his sunburn. As much as he wanted to be embarrassed, Seth was sure he was sitting up a little straighter and talking a little more than usual. He still looked a sort out of place in something other than jeans and a t-shirt, but Seth could tell that he was at least happy. Similar to Roman, he seemed to be sort of amazed he was even there, witness to such a beautiful vista and enjoying the company of people that liked him.

When their food arrived, Seth tucked in, nodding happily as Roman asked him about the quality of his chicken. For a little bit, Dean poked at his swordfish steak, cutting the meat up into smaller pieces to buy himself some time. 

"Don't look at me," he pouted, raising the bite to his mouth. Seth smiled and Roman looked nothing short of proud as Dean took the bite and considered it for a moment, before swallowing.

"It's good," he agreed, looking at his plate. "Not like… as good as a Smuckers PB&J, but  _ pretty _ good."

"Oh my god," Roman laughed, stealing a bite of swordfish from his plate and sighing hard. 

"What was…" Dean said, obviously trying to divert the attention away from himself as he continued eating his food. "What did everyone like about the trip?"

"This," Seth said blankly, "Everything," he blushed and his boyfriends looked to him seriously. "All the times I  _ wasn't  _ throwing up." 

They ate and thought for a moment. Taking some time to chew and examine their options. Roman accepted a refill of his glass and touched his goatee, thinking.

"I liked kayakin' a lot actually, I didn't think I would get to do that," he said, nodding to Seth with a smile. "That was a good choice. Plus just getting to grill on the ocean and drink beer and float around. That's definitely up there."

"Yeah," Seth said, swallowing. "For sure."

"If I say I liked snorkeling will you make that face?" Dean said, pointing at Roman with an accusatory tone. Roman smiled, his eyes warm and sweet. " _That_ face."

"I don't know what face I'm making," Roman grinned.

"The sweetheart Uce face," Seth said, stabbing at his food and letting the men have their moment.

"Sweetheart Uce face," Dean repeated, still pointing at Roman, who smiled wider. "Goddamnit."

"Dean, I love you, you're a hoot," Roman said, laughing as Dean groaned, poking at his fish. "I think _you're_ being the sweetheart here, right?" he turned to Seth who snorted into his water glass.

"This is the most bullshit cute argument-" Seth laughed. Dean feigned anger, dramatically tossing down his napkin and getting up and all three men laughed loudly, unable to contain themselves. It was all so dumb, but they were legitimately entertained. Seth felt himself perking up and wondered, right then and there if he couldn't try to explain himself and his behavior. 

But then, he easily imagined the tone of the table going sour and his boyfriend's disgusted, hurt faces. Seth swallowed his chicken and looked at the placemat, there was no way he wanted to spoil their evening with his bullshit. Roman was clearly so happy everything had gone so well and Dean was in rare form, much more lively than usual and readily accepting touch and strange new foods. If Seth said something that made him clam up again, well… he would feel really fucking awful. 

"I'm gunna miss this," Seth said, wiping his mouth on a napkin and trying to stay focused in the present. "This whole week."

"Here here," Dean added. Roman nodded and held up his wine glass until all three of them could clink their respective drinks. 

"Maybe Hawaii then next year," Roman said, looking between Dean and Seth, clearly open to ideas. "Cabo."

"What about Samoa?" Seth pitched, remembering that Roman's parent's were going there. Roman raised his eyebrows, clearly considering. "What's that like?"

"Never been," Roman admitted, shrugging. Seth made a weird noise. "What? I wasn't born there!"

"Sorry," Seth smirked, sure that his boyfriend hadn't really taken it the wrong way. "Would that be fun?"

"It might be more expensive but I wouldn't doubt it would be awesome," Roman said, taking a bite of his Salmon and nodding his head. "I gotta get 'y'all to go surfin' with me at some point. Maybe this summer we can go up to Pen and do that," he looked to Seth carefully. "You'd love that." 

"You think?" Seth grinned. "I've never done it before…"

At the end of the meal, Seth felt significantly better, full of rich food and more hydrated. As the sun finally began to sink in the sky for the last time, heralding the end of their vacation, he felt at peace walking back to the boat with his boyfriends. Seth had already agreed to go to Pensacola and regardless of what happened, he had to face it. After such an amazing, relaxing time in the Keys, it was only natural that any stress or structure was going to feel a little difficult, but Seth was an adult. Roman and Dean were in really good moods and didn't seem to that Seth was a little more introverted and exhausted. Just as they had when they arrived, Dean held both their hands and they walked back, discussing the lemon cheesecake they'd just shared and thanking Roman profusely for picking up the tab. 

"You can pay me later when we need to go grocery shopping when we get back," he admitted, gritting his teeth. "No grilling for a month till I replenish my savings."

"We can do burgers!" Dean argued, "Burgers is cheap."

"Shoot, no lobster every night." Seth said sarcastically, his mouth twitching as his knee began to pinch from walking again. He's been neglecting to do his rehab exercises and it was starting to show. That night, the three lounged on the roof tops, finishing the last of the beers while Seth drank La Croix and listened quietly. Before bed, Roman rubbed them all down with aloe and Seth gratefully slept without interruption or strange dreams. Dean and Roman charged their phones, and he didn't meddle, happy to just lay down in the large bed and feel Dean come to spoon him, tracing freckles on his shoulder and breathing hard. 

The next day, they woke early, gathering all their things and starting their journey back to Shield Key after some quick coffee at a little cafe and diner that was open 24 hours a day. With a bittersweet goodbye, they watched Key West disappear behind them and Seth put on his sea bands, moving around the boat as Roman steered them east, packing his bags. Dean deflated the inner tubes and traded off with Roman so he could pack his own things. All three men had a good laugh, finding crusty panties under the bed, and Seth spent the last hour of their journey just sitting on the stern, watching the ocean pass him by behind his sunglasses. Mind blank. Body quiet and still.

"When we get in, just throw all the shit in the back, I don't care," Roman said loudly from the helm so both men could hear. "I'll pay and get all the stuff figured out. They'll do a walk thru quick but for the most part it'll be fast."

"Right-o," Dean called, joining Seth out on the stern and plopping into a seat. 

"You excited to go North now?" Seth asked over the roar of the waves, Dean shrugged but mostly nodded, putting his phone in his pocket and folding his hands.

"Yeah, why not," He said loudly. "Happy almost Easter."

They docked for the last time and Seth scrambled to keep the stern from jumping away from the dock. Dean hurried to help lasso them in and they grabbed the wooden jetty, making sure the boat didn't bump hard against the dock. One of the dogs at the dock started barking, letting out a low  _ woo wo wooo _ , until the manager hollered at it to stop. 

"Do we need to gas up the Jeep?" Seth asked Dean, picking up his own luggage piece and wheeling it onto the dock with his extra gym bag. "Maybe we could do that quick while Uce is busy."

"I dunno," Dean said, slipping on his sandals and stepping off the boat. "Let's do that thing we did last time…. You hand me the shit and I'll run it."

"Aight," Seth nodded, feeling his phone buzz in his pockets. He was probably getting all his texts from when he was on the ocean, but he hadn't expected much, seeing as how his phone had been quiet for a few days anyway. For the time being, Seth just focused on grabbing their bags to make this process as smooth as possible. The faster they got on the road, the earlier they'd make it to Pensacola. 

His phone buzzed five times before he'd gotten all their bags on the dock and Seth frowned, pulling out his device just as he realized he had another missed call. Dean was ferrying the bags to the car and Roman was at the rental shack, sorting out their payment. Seth could help Dean with the last few bags, but his brow furrowed as he saw his mother had called him.

Four missed calls and a text that said  **Call me ASAP** . Seth walked to the front of the ship and sat in the damp chair, easing himself down slowly. On the dock, Seth could hear Dean petting the dog and hoisting the last bags. With nervousness turning in his chest, he checked his reception and called his mother, holding the phone to his shoulder and picking at his fingernails carefully. His mom didn't really try to call him like this back to back unless something serious was happening. 

After two rings, she picked up and Seth licked his lips, immediately apologetic.

"Hey, sorry, I literally just got on land again. We were driving east all morning," he said, fingers trembling. He waited, chest turning to ice with each second. 

"Hey Seth," she said, voice wilted and strange. "...Grandpa passed away last night."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so first, I want to apologize just because I'm sure these chapters are rough. I don't have a beta anymore and I tried to get this chapter out with the other three just so it was done. Also, I'm not a tarot reader, so the interpretations of Dean's cards in his POV chapter weren't as creative as they probably could be. I hope that didn't take anyone out of the scene.
> 
> That said, this is it, the big tipping point that all of To The Rescue sort of hinges on. Everything after this is a sort of the consequences of these chapters and I hope you're still along for the ride. At this point, I'm wondering if you guys want more big bulk updates, or weekly chapters. I'm leaning more toward the weekly updates, but I do feel like I have more control over the story like this, Idk.
> 
> Please tell me your thoughts, I think a lot of you will have liked these updates and probably have a lot to say on them. Please, for the sake of the story READ both POV chapters. There is info in each one that explains the greater story, so even if you aren't wild for Roman or maybe Dean annoys you, you WILL be missing out on things that will be explained later, in greater detail.
> 
> Comment, and please donate if you really enjoyed these chapters. They took a hell of a long time to make because I knitted them together so specifically. This is the only time in the full story we get Roman's and Dean's perspectives like this, there will probably be something similar in the epilogue, but that's far and away in the distance. 
> 
> <3


	23. Splinter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seth battles with the news of his grandfather's passing and makes his next move.

"What?" Seth had froze on the spot, all the breath leaving his body. "No…"

"We went to go see him…" Holly said, sounding cold and unavailable. "We… they think it was some kind of organ failure brought on by whatever he had… so…"

"Mom…" Seth ran a hand through his hair, leaning into his hand. He had  _ no _ idea what to say. His grandmother had been in hospice when she died, as sudden as her sickness had come on. This was out of left field. "I'm so sorry… are you okay?"

"I mean, we just found out so..." Holly sighed, obviously struggling. It broke Seth's heart to hear her sounding so entirely broken. "I went out to the farm… and I found him in his bed so it seemed like it could have been a nice way to go..."

"I'm sorry," Seth repeated again, sure that finding her father's body was probably traumatic regardless. Dean came onto the boat, probably looking for him, but stopped short of coming onto the bow as he realized Seth was on the phone.

"It's okay…" Holly sighed, "I just wanted to let you know. We're still waiting to see about a service. I was going to talk to Bob tonight and call your aunt and see what we can do."

"Can… can you call me?" Seth said, without thinking. "Can I call you tonight? Or…" he furrowed his brow. "I want to be there."

"I'm going to the funeral home in a few hours, I'll call you after that, okay?" Holly said, her voice sounding wet. "How was your trip?"

"It was fine," Seth said, his eyes glancing up at the water momentarily before looking to his sandaled feet. "I love you mom, a lot… I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry sweetheart, it's just life," she said. "I love you very much."

"Love you too… bye…" Seth hung up the phone and rubbed his face, trying to think. His grandpa was gone. He'd been sick, but Seth didn't think anyone could have anticipated this. The farm was empty now and all of his grandparents were now passed. All of the ones he actually knew at least. 

"The car has a half tank," Dean reported from the doorway, leaning in and looking at Seth carefully. "What's up?"

"Uh…" Seth's voice shook and he licked his lips, trying to keep everything together. "My… grandpa passed away?" 

"What?" Dean frowned, "Just now?" 

"Uh… yeah, I think," Seth blinked, realizing he really didn't ask when his mom had gone to the farm house and found this out. "Like… this morning or something."

"I'm sorry," Dean said and Seth blinked, feeling weird about the sentiment. "Are you… okay? Or…"

"I… don't know," Seth admitted, getting up and walking onto the dock, looking at his phone again. He dialed Brandon's number, remembering something about his mother going to the farm house with him. Dean walked off as well and went up to the rental shack, probably to tell Roman. Seth just stood, looking out over the sea, feeling confused. He kept just randomly thinking about his grandfather, pulling up all the little moments and tidbits his brain could conjure while his mind made them suddenly tragic. 

"Hey," Brandon said, answering the phone. Seth cut right to the chase.

"Hey, uh, what's going on?" He asked, trying to keep his voice measured. "Grandpa passed away?"

"Yeah…" Brandon said, huffing a breath, but sounding a lot more put together than their mother. "Organ failure we think."

"Were you with mom?" Seth asked, wiping his sweaty palm on his shirt. "Is she okay?"

"Uh, I mean…" Brandon laughed nervously and Seth grit his teeth. "It's all sort of happening right now and I don't really know what's going on."

"Well, walk me through it!' Seth said sharply, hating Brandon's dumb sounding voice and the fact that he even had to call him. "What the fuck is happening? I'm not there so I don't know!"

"I don't know either!" Brandon said, sounding surprised. "I… I didn't go with mom to the farm because I was going to go to Ace to meet some people around eleven and then she called me and told me what was going on so now I'm just like… hanging out at home just in case…" he mumbled, sighing hard. "Dad's gunna try to get off work early just so they can figure things out, but I think they're doing an autopsy or something, then they gotta figure out what all is gunna… happen…"

"Right," Seth breathed, sort of silently upset Brandon hadn't skipped his dumb comic book thing and went with his mother. The idea of Holly finding Don's body alone just seemed awful and Seth again felt helpless and upset with being so far away.  _ What the fuck could he even do? _

"Are you coming back?" Brandon asked. "Mom said you were on vacation."

"I don't know," Seth said, hating how insincere he sounded. "I want to, I don't… I don't fucking know right now."

Roman was walking down the dock,  looking concerned with Dean and Seth sighed hard, turning on his heel.

"I gotta go," Seth said. "Sorry I'm all pissed off."

"It's cool bro," Brandon mumbled, "Talk to you later."

The moment he hung up, Roman came closer, holding out his hands if Seth wanted them. His heart was trembling and part of him kind of did want to just sink down and let out some ragged breaths, but he needed to stay focused and  _ think _ . He was supposed to be going to Pensacola. It was a holiday weekend. Did funeral homes even do…  _ things _ on Easter?

"You okay?" Roman asked, embracing Seth after a few moments of hesitation. Seth stared ahead, hardly seeing his boyfriends. His mind was still being bombarded with memories of his grandfather, all flooding his head at the same time. It was surreal, being in such a beautiful environment and spiraling into such an emotional tailspin.

"Not great," Seth admitted, "It's… it's fine though… I'm good to go."

Nobody talked much as Roman double checked to ensure all of their belongings had gotten off the car and into the boat. Seth pulled himself into the back of the Jeep and sighed hard, feeling the suffocating heat of the vehicle prickle against his skin. The distinct tone of resigned sorrow in his mother's voice kept biting at him and Seth sighed, staring out the window and wishing he could just disappear. He really didn't believe in heaven or hell or stupid things like that, but Seth hoped that if his grandfather had taken on some other form of awareness, he was at least content. The last few years of the man's life seemed burdened by an immobility and changed awareness that Seth hadn't anticipated, and to some extent, Seth was sort of glad his grandfather hadn't fallen into any dementia or Alzheimer's disease that would be more debilitating and undignified. 

But still, Seth sighed harder, feeling his chest constrict with a jagged anxiety that turned his breath shallow. The last conversation he'd had with his Grandfather had been almost a month ago and Don had thought he was still dating Marek. There  _ wouldn't _ be any kind of reunion for his birthday. Seth couldn't tell him he loved him. He was just gone.

"We'll probably get in around midnight… if we don't stop nowhere too long," Roman said, sliding into the driver's seat as Dean got into the passenger's side. Turning around, Seth was conscious of his boyfriend's hand on his knee. "Are you sure you're okay babe? We can… take a sec if you need it here."

"I'm fine, it's okay," Seth said, shaking his head and buckling his seatbelt. "I just… I dunno."

"How close where you with him?" Dean asked gruffly, turning as Roman started the car and looked conflicted. Seth licked his lips, trying to keep his voice low and measured. He really didn't want to cry right at that moment as Roman would probably fuss and stop their progress. As far as Seth was concerned, the scenic view of the ocean could go fuck itself. He wanted to put as much distance between the vacation he'd just had and whatever was currently happening so they didn't twine together in his mind. It didn't seem real that he was going to Pensacola. 

"He… was kinda my dad… before my step dad," Seth said, breathing hard and touching the spot Roman had rested his hand moments before. "The farm he had… I grew up there."

"On… your mom's side?" Dean asked, trying to get his facts straight. Seth nodded and Roman looked behind them, backing into a three point turn to get them moving toward the main road again. 

"Yeah," Seth said, "His name was Don…"

"If you…" Roman started. Seth flicked his gaze up to the rearview mirror, watching his boyfriend work through his words. "If you want to change plans and maybe get a flight to Iowa or something… that's fine if that's what you want to do."

"I don't even know," Seth said, blinking hard and looking at the floor of the vehicle. If he was being completely honest, all he really wanted to do was go home to their house in Orlando and be left alone. Without any specifics concerning the funeral arrangements or his mother's plans, Seth didn't know what the hell to expect. But the more he thought about it, the more that Seth knew in his heart that he couldn't be around Roman's family like he was now. It was all too much, and after sneaking and reading his boyfriend's texts, Seth really couldn't imagine the holiday being much better than it was last time, regardless of where they stayed.

By the time they were driving through Key Largo, Seth had flipped his phone open and was looking at flights, weighing his options and sighing hard. He could tell his boyfriends really wanted to talk or at least turn the radio up, but they were both being respectfully solemn for the sake of their partner. Unable to look out the windows at the beach town they were passing by, Seth pursed his lips, thinking hard.  _ Could he just back out of their plans? _

"Could use some food…" Dean mumbled, rearranging himself in the seat and clicking his tongue. "Want a cigarette too… cars always make me want it."

"You cool with drive thru?" Roman asked, shifting in his seat to shoot Seth a cautionary glance. "You want a breakfast sandwich Lil' Uce?" 

"Uh… yeah…" Seth said, clearing his throat and looking up. "I… don't think I'm going to go to Pensacola."

"Okay," Roman said quickly. Dean didn't say anything, just staring ahead as though he hadn't heard anything. "Were... you gunna go to Iowa then?" 

"I think, yeah," Seth said, looking at the time on his phone again. His mom probably wasn't at the funeral home yet, but he'd more or less made up his mind. "I'm… I'm sorry about this guys…"

"Babe, it's really okay," Roman said, trying to smile in spite of the situation. Seth could tell though, with a twitch of his cheek that it probably wasn't  _ really _ fine. Seth could already imagine a barrage of texts coming from both of his parents, aggressively insisting that they had agreed to a specific plan. The thought of it made his stomach sick with anger, annoyed that Roman was stuck straddling the problem and unlikely to discuss it with the people that actually mattered. 

"Are your folks gunna be mad?" Seth asked, concerned but sure of his decision regardless. Dean looked to Roman, who sighed, shrugging. 

"I doubt it, it's family after all," he said, slowing down as the line of traffic ahead of them hit a red light. "Honestly, they might be kind of weirded out if you showed during a family emergency, they'd probably think you should be in Iowa anyway." Roman put his hand into the back seat, looking for Seth's knee, patting him warmly. "You need to be with your people, if they want to be dramatic about it… whatever."

"Okay," Seth said, nodding and feeling a great relief wash over him. "I dunno… it's just…" he swallowed hard, still determined not to break into tears. "I feel really… fucked up sometimes… about how my family doesn't see me and how I'm so far away. Like… my mom found… his body alone…" he paused for a moment as the air in the car was very still and Seth felt very out of place, referring to his grandfather as  _ a body _ . "It's just hard… and I dunno. Brandon's there… but I'm her son."

Grabbing Roman's hand and staring at it was easier than finishing his sentence. His nose was running and his chest was wound into knots. Roman squeezed back and Dean fidgeted with his scraggly beard fuzz.

It seemed the easiest thing to do was just to drop Seth off in Orlando and he could make his way from there, as he would have his own car to make any journey he needed. Without having any kind of plan, it was difficult to think about all the logistical issues of making a trip. As far as he was convinced, he could take a one way ticket and sort the rest out later, but Seth was still supposed to be at work on Tuesday. 

Balling up McDonald's wrappers in the backseat and trying not to think about his grandfather at all, he called Hunter to give his boss a heads up, feeling rather stupid without any concrete details to give. Hunter's phone didn't pick up, and Seth rambled a short, gruff message about his situation, ensuring he'd supply more information as soon as he was aware. 

As they began to hit Miami traffic, he looked out the window and felt incredibly hollow. The only other major death in his life had been his grandmother, whom Seth hadn't been as close with. When he was a child, he remembered she had bad knees, so Seth had always looked to his grandfather for entertainment, running around outside. For years as a child, he had put Seth to work with minor chores, taught him games and made him pizza bagels whenever he came to visit. There was a very distinct memory he had of the time when Brandon first came to the farm to see everything and Seth had lead his step brother around excitedly, pointing out all the places that Don let him play corn hole and bounce balls near the barn. 

Then, when he was probably six or seven, his grandfather had convinced Seth of the fact that he'd invented  _ cold _ hot cocoa, which was just chocolate milk, as the family always teased Seth for asking for cocoa during the summer when it was warm. Remembering his own euphoria over his grandfather's supposed invention, Seth had to stop himself from crying. The car to the side of them honked and Roman grunted, trying to switch out of the merging lane.

As the highway narrowed again, Seth's phone lit up with his mother's contact info and Seth nearly dropped his device in his haste to answer it.

"Hey," he mumbled immediately, sniffing. "What's up?"

"Hey sweetheart, I'm at the funeral home right now and we're looking into what we can do," his mother's voice sounded more firm this time, but oddly business like and detached. "I talked to your aunt and I think we could do a service on Monday..." There was a moment where Seth nodded before he realized he was on the phone. "...Do you think you could come up for that? Is that… something you can do?"

"Yeah… yeah," Seth sighed hard. "I was looking at plane tickets… trying to figure out what would work best."

"Okay," Holly said, and Seth thought she sounded relieved, like she wasn't sure if Seth would agree to come. He felt slightly hurt, wondering what his mother was expecting of him.

"Should I just try to fly right into Moline you think?" Seth asked, still staring out the window at the sunny miami suburbs twinkling past. "Make it easier?"

"If you need to fly into O'hare or Des Moines, that's fine," she said quickly. "Between me, Dad and Brandon we'll get it figured out."

"Sure sure, okay," Seth said, "I'll try to get a flight tonight then… it's probably… more expensive on Easter or something." He licked his lips, trying to calm down his racing heart beat. "Still… think it was organ failure?"

"It's still up in the air…" Holly said quietly. "We won't know till tomorrow morning probably." she paused as though she had something else to say, but it never came. Seth swallowed and he could feel Roman's eyes watching him from the front seat, surveying him sympathetically.

"Okay, well, I'll get this figured out and hopefully I won't be up too late tonight," Seth mumbled, adjusting himself in the car seat and trying to think if there was anything he could say that sounded remotely helpful. Nothing seemed right and there was still the odd hope that he might wake up, finding that this was just some horrible dream. He could hear his mother breathing and the loud silence of his boyfriend's listening from the front seat.

"I love you," Holly said, her voice breaking a little. Seth bit his lip hard. "It would mean a lot if we could see you again."

"Yeah, of course." Seth said wiping his eye and clearing his throat. "I love you mom, I'll let you know when I get to the airport…"

He hung up and tossed his phone down, blinking hard. Even with all of the things Seth had purchased that week, there was still a meager savings in his bank account that would support a plane ticket. Although it would nearly deplete his resources again, there was no hesitation. Don had been a father figure where Seth had none, and a great grandparent for the whole course of his life. For all the times he'd ever been upset with his mother and step dad for stupid things when he was a teenager, his grandparents were always the kindest, most accepting people he knew. Whether he was coming out or finding excuses to not go to church, dropping out of swim team, community college or cheating on his boyfriend, Don had made him feel like he mattered despite it all. 

"You want me to chill back there with you?" Dean offered, craning his neck in his seat, looking as calm and impassive as ever. Seth just exhaled hard and shook his head, he was really exhausted and didn't know what to say. After a few minutes, he yawned and took off his seatbelt, stretching out over the backseat with one of Roman's sweatshirts bundled under his head. 

"You guys can listen to the radio," he said quietly, bending his knees and wincing slightly from the pinch of a swollen joint. "I'm gunna nap."

"Okay…" Roman said, "Sounds good."

Seth lay in the back of the jeep for most of the remainder of the trip, feigning sleep or otherwise anxiously scrolling through his phone. There were a bunch of flights leaving for Chicago, but Seth didn't want to make his family drive around a bunch while they were already scrambled, trying to make sense of this new reality. Twice, he considered purchasing a ticket that would have him transfering on a short flight to the tiny Moline airport, but as the Jeep hit stop and go traffic, Seth set his phone down. If he didn't make it to Orlando in time, than he'd miss the flight anyway and be stuck trying to board a different plane. It was all a mess.

They stopped for Chick Fil A about an hour outside of Orlando, trying to pass through the drive thru as quickly as possible while Dean filled up the gas tank. Seth's heart pounded uncomfortably as Roman's mother's contact information lit up the dashboard of the car, ringing his connected phone. Without saying a word, Roman just let it ring, biting into his sandwich as the call directed to voicemail.

"Once we get closer I'll call her back," he explained, turning the radio back up again and looking to Dean. "You still wanna go… yeah?"

"Yeah," Dean nodded, "For sure."

Seth didn't say anything as they continued on. While he wanted to at least appear apologetic, Seth almost wondered if his anxiety hadn't somehow caused this entire catastrophic mess. After seeing the contents of his boyfriend's phone, he was positive that he didn't want to Pensacola and be sucked into a dramatic mess for a second time. Roman's family actually kind of scared him and Seth knew that wasn't a really nice thing to say to his boyfriend.

As they passed Kissimmee and rolled by Disney World, Seth began mentally taking inventory of the contents of his bags. All of his clothes were dirty, but he could do laundry at his mother's house in Iowa. He just had to be sure he didn't have anything that would require a checked bag. As they entered onto familiar highway, Seth did his best to explain his plan to his boyfriends, leaning in and shivering from the blast of air conditioning.

"I'm just going to grab a few things and go to the airport," he said, thinking of the black slacks that were hanging in Roman's closet. "I'll figure out a flight and try to get out as soon as I can... they wanna do a service on Monday I guess, so maybe I'll just come home that night and I won't have to miss much."

"Sounds smart," Roman said, rolling his shoulders in the seat. "How do you think it's gunna be? Your mom sound okay?"

"I dunno, I guess she's as fine as possible right now," Seth said, sitting back down and watching as the exit for White Water passed them by. "She had a really hard time when my grandma died, I felt like she only got over it in the past year or so."

They came to the front of the house, and Seth practically jumped out as soon as the car stopped moving. Opening up the hatchback, he began to quickly pull out his bags, blind to Roman and Dean at his shoulders, trying to assist him.

"I'll put the cooler away too, while we're here," Roman said gruffly. Seth watched him grab the case and make off toward the garage. Dean just stood, trying to crack his neck, unsure.

"Fun trip, shitty end," he said, fidgeting hard and looking around. Seth just nodded. He felt like he was going crazy, abruptly crashing back into reality with two people he'd been overexposed to over the course of the week. Dean and Roman couldn't help him with this, and they'd been stuck in a car together for hours. Seth wondered how much the two would speculate back and forth about his mental state once he was out of earshot.

"Well, just… make sure you guys have fun for me," Seth said, realizing too late how mopey and stupid he sounded. Dean leaned on the car just as Sasha came out to the side door, looking confused. Kevin barked frantically and came running outside to greet them.

"Just passing through?" She asked. Seth stooped to grab his dog, feeling slightly comforted by his pet. Roman came out of the garage and smiled to her. "Didn't think you guys would stop by."

Seth didn't want to explain the whole situation and luckily Roman stepped in, going through the events of the day in a low gruff voice as Seth stroked Kevin's fur. All he wanted to do was grab a few things from the bedroom, but he didn't want to have to talk to anyone about it. Sasha looked upset and Bayley came outside, greeting them warmly.

"I really don't want this to be a big thing," Seth stated at the ground, just loud enough for Roman to hear a few steps away. Seth set his dog back on the ground and fixed his hair. "Can I just… grab my stuff and go?"

The house was clean and the new mattress frame had been erected in the bedroom, the formerly crooked bed was now resting in a pristine looking black mahogany frame. Everything was neat and tidy and Seth thought he smelled candles or incense, some fresh scent wafting over the familiar perfume of his house. After so many days apart from his surroundings, all Seth wanted to do was sink into the bed, but he didn't bother, sure of the fact he needed to get moving if he was going to get a flight before it got really late. From the closet, he grabbed some pants and a white dress shirt, plus a thicker sweatshirt that he'd make more use of in a cooler environment. The extra hairband on his wrist was getting thin, and so he pulled a fresh one out of Roman's bedside drawer. 

"We can take you to the airport if you want," Sasha said as Seth came into the living room, looking for his extra phone charger. Bayley, Dean and Roman were all sitting on the furniture, watching his movements. Seth didn't say anything, but focused rather intently on the USB cord in his hands, lightly dusted with dog hair.

"I'm fine," Seth said robotically, as if it made sense of her offer. He cleared his throat and looked up at his boyfriends. His head and chest were starting to hurt now. "I don't want to sound like an ass… I'm really sorry… I just… I think I need to be alone right now."

Roman stood up and Seth stared at the floor, wishing he could vanish. Dean followed and before he knew it, the two had wrapped him in a hug. Sasha and Bayley watched, sympathetic as a single croaking sniffle came from the embrace, echoing off their chests. Seth screwed up his face, hating himself and the whole situation. He _ couldn't _ do this right now, not when he had to travel and hurry home. 

"We love you," Roman said, smoothing his back and kissing his temple. Seth didn't lean into their touch, but rather sank, as though he was trying to hide himself. Dean grunted in agreement.

"Sorry… I fucking ruined-" Seth breathed hard but Roman sighed and shook his head a little, pulling him closer and forcing his face against his chest.

"You didn't ruin nothin' you dork, my lord," he sighed. "I'll call you an Uber if you want. Have you got all your stuff?"

Seth pushed his way into the bathroom after agreeing to take a ride share, trying his best to clean his face and triple checking that he had all his toiletries. For the most part, everything was already packed and for a moment, he just stared at his reflection, taking it all in. 

His face was red from crying and from sunburn, and his eyebrows looked overgrown where he'd neglected to manicure them as primly as he might had he been at home. While his beard was shorn neatly from their last night in the Keys, his hair was a wild mess, broken and fading into an orange blonde where he'd let it become damaged. Seth thought he looked like shit, and for thirty seconds, he hated everything.  _ Why had he moved down here and left his family? Why had he dyed his hair such a stupid color? Why couldn't he pull himself together? _

Washing his face quickly, he averted his gaze from his reflection and left, drying his hands on his pants. A black Cadillac that was the same make and model of his own car was on its way to pick him up and Dean and Roman were waiting outside for it to arrive.

"We're really sorry about what happened Seth," Bayley said, offering him a glass of water which he took, sipping quickly. "We can watch the house as long as you guys need to. It's no problem."

"Thanks Bayley," he mumbled, his voice low in his throat. It was weird seeing his friends when he was so worked up, but Sasha at least had cried in front of him before, so they were sort of even. "I really appreciate it," 

When the car arrived, Seth set his bags in the trunk and pulled out his phone, thinking that he had agreed to text his mom when he was going to attempt to fly out. His boyfriends came closer, holding out their arms and looking more morose than he cared to see.

"Let Uce know what's going on so he doesn't get an ulcer," Dean mumbled in his ear. "I love you… more than knitting and chickens and rainbows and whatever else."   


"Thanks," Seth snorted, smiling wetly. "I love you too."

"I love you _ so _ much," Roman breathed, pulling him in and giving him a little shake. "You didn't ruin anything. Don't worry about that."

"Mmm," Seth hummed, trying to agree. They were parting ways now, for the first time in a week. The vacation felt like so much time and Seth wondered what he would be missing by leaving Florida for a few days. It wasn't as though Dean and Roman would just be free to talk to and Seth had no idea what to expect with returning home. He didn't even know for sure how his grandfather had passed away yet.

"I'll see you guys later," Seth said, walking toward the car and giving his lover's a weird salute. The vehicle was chilly in comparison to the humid air and Seth shivered, pulling the seat belt over his frame. The driver, a young blonde white woman looked at him sweetly.

"Roman?"

"Seth," he corrected. "...He called the ride though."

Seth texted his mother, then looked at his perspective flight again, wondering if he could make it through security in time. He hadn't bothered to change and was still wearing the sandals, cargo pants and t-shirt that he'd thrown on that morning before he'd expected anything like this could happen. His phone was on half battery and he was a little hungry, watching his block roll by in a haze.

**Sounds good keep me updated if we need to pick you up -mom** Holly texted him back. Seth scrolled through his phone aimlessly, looking at his contacts and wondering if he ought to call Hunter again. It wouldn't be of much use until he knew when he was coming home, but he wanted to at least appear proactive and communicative about his job.

Passing by his grandfather's contact info, Seth paused, staring. Some weird part of his subconscious was telling him to delete the number now, but there was no way he could. It didn't really matter anyway and it almost felt too soon, like he was being cruel to himself. Head aching and feeling vaguely stupid, he dialed the number, imagining some alternate reality where his grandfather was still teetering over to the phone from across the house.

Every unanswered ring felt depressing and Seth sighed, sure that he didn't have the physical energy to cry again. He was just making himself sad for no reason, picturing the dying light of the day crossing through an empty home while the noise of the telephone called for an owner that was no longer there.

_ This is Sherry and Don Rollins, leave your message for us at the tone and we'll get back to you as soon as we can! _ His grandmother's voice said in a peppy tone. Seth exhaled hard, quickly hanging up before the machine could record his shallow breathing. His grandfather had never bothered to change the message on his voicemail and Seth frowned for a moment, lost in thought. It was strange to hear her voice again, several years after her own passing, and Seth wondered why nobody had thought to tell him to change the message. He imagined it was probably very confusing for anyone calling the house, especially bill collectors that might be wondering about her accounts after her passing. 

Seth pocketed his phone and stared out the window again, fatigued of cars and travelling. Roman and Dean were probably on the road again and before he got to the airport, he received two texts.

**Hey kid, text me if you need anything. I'll pick you up. Love you** Bob, his step dad had messaged him. 

**Hey Seth! This is Lisa, Roman's mom. So sorry to hear about what happened and I hope we can find another time to see you soon. You'll be in our thoughts and prayers this Easter. If you ever need anything, don't hesitate to ask!** Rolled into his inbox just as his ride touched to the curb of the airport. 

"Thanks… a lot…" Seth said distractedly, pulling his bags from the back and wondering what exactly Roman could have said to his mother. The Orlando airport was busy with people coming and going for the holiday weekend, shuffling through the automatic doors with roller bags and carts. Without a clue of where to go, Seth pressed himself to a wall and then looked around to the various signage. The flight on his phone was with United. 

Purchasing the ticket was maybe the only thing that went smoothly that day and Seth took solace in the constant anxious movement of the airport security line. Clutching the little receipt and ticket in his hand. Seth had given himself an extra day, just to ensure that he was present for his family. Today was Saturday. Sunday was Easter. Monday was the tentative day for the funeral and Tuesday he would fly back to Orlando. With just one layover in Chicago each way to change planes, he'd made it as simple as possible for his family to pick him up and see him off. 

"I don't need to see the  _ receipt _ ," the rude TSA agent snapped, batting away the papers in Seth's hand. His eyes narrowed as the man checked his ticket, circling something and gesturing for him to continue. Something nasty in Seth wanted to say a line like  _ My grandfather just died, show some fucking humanity _ , but it wasn't worth the effort or time. He had a half hour before his flight left, and no idea where his gate was. 

Luckily, it was closer than Seth thought, and as he marched off the the airport train and down to E11, he felt slightly better as the realization sunk in that he was going home. Being alone again was a sort of relief he hadn't properly appreciated until he saw his plane at the gate and he slumped into a seat by the check in desk.  **CHICAGO O HARE ORD** flashed across the display by the door and Seth stared up at the ceiling, breathing deeply.

About a year ago was when he first thought about moving, coming off of a very long and chilly winter with fairly little to show for his life. It had been icy and cold all the way through March and his family had planned an Easter grilling at the farm weeks in advance. Despite the unseasonable chill, they'd proceeded, mostly sitting inside and talking while his grandfather and step father took turns checking on the seasoned ham. As usual, the family was taking turns going around in a circle and discussing their lives, and, as was usual for that time, Seth was brooding in the corner of the couch, making little conversation.

"Were you thinking of going back to school Seth?" His aunt Mary Jo had asked him, her smile forced and wavering on her face. Seth blinked and surveyed the room. Brandon and their cousins were upstairs and his mother gave him a pleading look as if to say  _ please be pleasant  _ with her eyes. 

"Not likely," Seth said, clearing his throat and sitting up to grab his drink. Don came in from outside, rubbing his hands together. "I was thinking I might move though… go somewhere else."

"Anywhere in particular?" Mary Jo had asked. Holly blinked, clearly not expecting such an answer, and Don began taking off his jacket, listening in.

"Mmm, not really, somewhere warmer," Seth said, contemplating his answer. "Whatever pool might have me if I can just smoothly transfer."

"Not a lot of places are as cheap to live as here," Mary Jo said, tilting her head as Seth took a drink of his beer. "That's exciting though!"

"Don't you have some school friends in Chicago?" Holly asked, clearly trying to get into his thought process. Seth just shrugged, he really hadn't thought through what he was going to say and was now sort of wishing he hadn't brought it up. Don just laughed from the back of the sofa.

"I think it's even colder in Illinois right now. Not really a picture of warmth," he said, patting Seth's shoulder. "If you go far away, better move to Hawaii where we'll really want to visit you around this time of year!"

Seth found himself wishing he'd laughed at everyone of his grandfather's goofy little jokes that weren't even funny. There wouldn't be another Easter at the farm like that, and Don had never got the chance to visit Orlando and meet his dog and go to the farmer's market like Seth had with his mom. Their relationship was over now and Seth sighed as he felt his phone buzz again, this time from Roman, by way of their group chat.

**Were on the road again and we miss u already. Did u get a plane ticket?**

**Yea** Seth responded,  **gunna take off in a bit here i made good time**

**Can u call when u get there ? we will be up still cause we got like five hours to drive** Dean asked, probably at Roman's instruction as the man was probably driving. Seth typed  **_yes_ ** without a thought, sure that he would. Despite the weirdness and the snooping and Seth's own shitty circumstances, he owed his boyfriends a lot and he knew it. Their weekend was probably going to be stressful too, to some extent. Seth didn't want to act like he had when he'd messed up his knee and shut them out entirely. 

**Love u guys to the moon and back** he sent, leaning over in his seat and staring at his phone. Dean responded immediately with three fist emojis, and then, a little heart. 

_ Now boarding zones 1 and 2 for our 7:22 direct flight to Chicago O' Hare _ the desk attendant said in her microphone, prompting everyone in the vicinity to stand. Seth rose to his feet and wiggled his foot uncomfortably. Upon inspection, he realized he still had beach sand in between his long toes, rubbing against his skin. For whatever reason, he didn't stoop to fix it, imagining the dirt to be some sort of remnant of a time he was happy, before his grandfather was dead, or at least, before Seth knew it.

"Have a great flight," the attendant said as he pushed his ticket under the scanner. Seth accidentally held her gaze and tried to say thank you, but the words caught in his throat and sounded more like  _ ank oo _ . He pulled his bag higher in his arms and tramped down the walkway loudly, feeling distinctly ugly and stupid between a businessman and an older woman that looked like a model.

Out of the window, he could see palm trees by the fence that lined the tarmac, blocking the airport runway off from the busy highway on all sides of the buildings. Frustration and anger blindly welled up inside him again and he watched with a frown as the trees lazily shifted in the wind. He wasn't supposed to be here. This wasn't his home. Iowa was where he was from and living in Orlando for almost a year hadn't changed anything. Seth had no idea why he felt this way and couldn't explain himself as he slumped in his seat, biting his nails and staring at his dirty feet. Before the inflight safety orientation, he quickly pulled out his phone again and dialed his grandfather's number. There was no logic behind it, and with every ring, Seth bit down on his nails harder, almost trying to draw blood.

_ This is Sherry and Don Rollins, leave your message for us at the tone and we'll get back to you as soon as we can! _

He wanted to wake up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think everyone wants weekly updates, so weekly updates it is! I really do appreciate the kind comments and the folks that want to dunk on my donation link. Always awesome.


	24. Good-bye, Morning Dew

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seth goes to the farm and sorts through items from the past.

Seth's mother's house in Iowa was comforting in the fact that very little had changed since Christmas. He noticed Stanley the dog's fur was getting overlong, and the old soap dish in the bathroom was missing, replaced with a more contemporary container. But everything smelled the same, vaguely clean and fresh. Despite the fact that he shuffled in late at night, beyond exhausted and morose, his mother had waited up to see him, resting on the loveseat in the living room.

"Hey," Seth said simply, hugging his mother as Bob shushed Stanley's half-hearted barks. Holly hugged him back and Seth could feel her exhale and become smaller. He'd been taller than his mother since he was about fourteen, but her presence always felt large and enveloping.

"The bedroom's ready for you and there's some tuna casserole in the fridge," she sighed, swaying on the spot. "We missed you."

But Seth didn't eat or sleep very much, laying in bed at two AM and staring up to the ceiling of his childhood bedroom. Everything was freezing, far removed from the warmth of the tropical keys. Snow had frozen in the corners of the windows and a cold wind rattled outside, loud and obnoxious. Marshmellow the cat came to purr against his ear in the early morning, but Seth put the cat back on the floor, feeling too long for the old, full mattress.

It was Easter Sunday now, but Seth didn't know what that meant as he stared at his phone through the darkness. Back in Florida, Dean and Roman had arrived in Pensacola and were probably settled in and snoring at Roman's cousin's place. In Iowa, it was an hour later, but Seth didn't feel connected to anything really, immune to any wants or hunger. He'd texted his boyfriend's a confirmation that he'd arrived, unable to make sense of a phone call.

His throat and head felt knotted up until morning when the sun finally broke and provided a little bit of warmth coming through the open window. When he was a kid, his mother had always brought them to church first thing on Easter morning. As a very young child, he'd excitedly anticipated it, agreeing to sing along to a goofy prayer song before running around with the other children to find plastic eggs in the front lawn, full of chocolate. When he got a little older however, Seth dragged his feet and whined about wanting his chocolate bunny early before partaking in the boring preacher's usual speech about Jesus's journey to heaven.

There weren't any easter baskets or egg decorations now, even the minimal ones his mom liked to produce for her adult children. As Seth began to hear rustling of activity downstairs, he hardly considered the usual little bowl of jelly beans that was noticeably absent.

Bob was at the stove, and Seth's stomach gnawed at him as he began to smell the cinnamon rolls that were thickening up in the oven. His step father gave him a little smile and Seth nodded, not particularly sure what he was expecting for the day.

"I'm goin' to go pick up Mary Jo from the airport in a few hours, I think your ma wanted to go to the farm today and pick up some things for the service." Bob said pouring Seth a mug of coffee and handing it over. "I'm sure you could help her out with that."

"Yeah, sure," Seth said, swallowing hard as he felt his voice come raspy and quiet. The coffee was the usual vanilla bean blend and he blinked, watching Stanley's tail come wagging to his side, looking for attention. He never really knew what to say to his step dad. They had already gone through a sort of awkward, abridged version of his vacation on the ride home from the airport and Seth didn't really know what else to talk about.

Luckily, Brandon came down the stairs, thunderously loud in the absence of any other noise. Brown eyes wide and curious, he looked to his father carefully, cracking his mouth into a grin.

"Cinnamon rolls?" he beamed, "When are they done?"

"They just went in," Bob said, surveying the two and smiling again at the sight of both of them together.

"Where's mom?" Seth asked, finally agreeing to bend down and pet Stanley. "Church?"

"She's with Beth," Bob said, turning on the tap to clean a few dishes that had been left in the sink. "Didn't want to go to church this morning… they're getting coffee I think at D'marie…"

Feeling slightly jittery from the drink but not wholly inclined to be sociable, Seth felt guilty standing between Brandon and his step dad. These people were his family, but neither of them had been as close to his grandfather as Seth or his mother. Without decorations or a diligent observation of an early church service, there was no reason to think that this Sunday as any different from any other Sunday. Seth felt empty, hearing Brandon surfing through TV channels and Bob's clatter of plates, as though the noise was insensitive.

They'd be going to the farm, but not to see Don. Seth wondered if he might feel more _resolved_ if he'd seen his grandfather's body. The whole thing still didn't seem real. In Pensacola, Seth imagined Roman and Dean in formal clothes, nearly passing out in church pews. The thought made him smile, but it quickly faded, as though his brain was scolding him for feeling happy.

"I'm going to… go do some stretches for my knee…" Seth said, pointing back upstairs. Bob just nodded and Seth set his empty mug on the counter, trodding back up to his bedroom like he hadn't meant to leave it. As guilty as he felt about not spending time with his step father, he didn't know how to do so just yet. Everything was weird and sluggish, like time had slowed to standstill.

For about a half hour, Seth stretched, brushed his teeth and tried to dress himself in clothes that were warmer than loose pajama pants. The cinnamon rolls came out of the oven, but before he thought to eat, he stuffed all of his dirty laundry into the washing machine. Sorting through sandy swim trunks that were just barely dry and smelling of sunscreen, Seth could scarcely believe he'd been happy and removed from the whole situation just twenty four hours previous. His cheeks blushed as he found the dirty ball of panties, and he quickly stuffed them into the small pocket of the bag before anyone could see. Shifting his belongings, Seth blinked when he came across the bag of gifts for his family he'd purchased in Key West.

Holly came in just as Seth was rounding the corner to the living room, holding the bag in his hand and feeling marginally better. Stanley barked and Seth doubled back, meeting his mother at the front door.

"Mornin'," he said, tapping the dog with his foot to break it's narrow field of attention. "Have fun?"

It was a dumb question considering the circumstances, but thankfully his mother didn't bat an eye.

"Oh… it was alright," she sighed, setting down her purse and sliding out of her dress boots she'd worn. "Beth's family isn't coming in until two, so she agreed to come and talk with me… I thought we could go to the farm in a moment. Just you and me if you wanted."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm about ready, was just gunna eat quick," Seth said, holding up the bag. "I got you guys stuff from Florida… if you want it…"

His gifts went over very well, and for the first time since the plane landed, Seth smiled wide and laughed, watching his step father's face light up excitedly at the box of hand rolled cigars. Holly turned up her nose a little, insisting she didn't want him smoking in the garage while Bob eagerly thanked him. It was all worth it to see his mother's sad expression turn warm as Seth handed her little pillows of fudge, looking over the neatly wrapped bundles before pulling her son into a hug.

"I got you a shirt," Seth said, tossing Brandon the tie-dye Margaritaville souvenir as he peered over the couch, looking curious. Brandon whooped and put it over his shoulder, giving a weird little salute of thanks.

"I wanted to go through the photographs we have there and pick out some things that might be nice to put in a display for the service," Holly said as Seth picked out a well glazed cinnamon roll and plopped it onto a plate. He stood in the kitchen, ripping apart the sugary spiral and listening. "Mary said she could actually make the thing, but I thought it would be good to go through and just grab what might work so we don't have to drive to Buffalo tomorrow. Grandpa still has a lot of photos anyway…" she sighed again, her face falling as she was obviously very tired and resigned about the whole activity. "Plenty of them are just in stacks in boxes… since mom died, I never got around to that scrapbooking project..."

"I got some of that foam core in the garage too," Bob offered, trying to keep Holly's energy up. "I dunno if that funeral home'll charge you for their own displays or what not."

"Yeah… we'll just see." Holly said, moving to put the fudge in the freezer. Seth licked his finger, thinking hard. He really didn't have anything to say. As much as he was an adult whenever he was at work or with his boyfriends, he was usually content to play the part of the kid whenever his mom was around, calling the shots. Because he hadn't been around for the last few weeks, probably watching his mother and step father go back and forth on ideas regarding Don's declining health, he wasn't sure what words were helpful or appropriate.

"Should we bring anything?" Seth asked, setting his dish in the sink and rinsing the sugar away.

"Like what?" Holly asked, confused. "No… we'll be fine. It's actually kind of nice out today also."

Nice was a relative term, and Seth was still shivering through his sweatshirt as they made their way to the car and down the road towards the little highway pass that shot them down to Buffalo. The Mississippi river was grey and cold, and the usual little lumps of dirty snow were piled on the sides of the street, begging to be melted by the sun. Seth watched, touching the phone in his pocket, but actively trying not to check it obnoxiously. The radio was on low, and Holly drove at her usual slow, measured pace, talking quietly.

"Let's try to check on your black slacks tonight to see if they still fit, otherwise maybe you can run to the store tomorrow morning and pick something up."

"It should be fine," Seth said, kneading his thighs. "Sorta lost weight with the knee if anything…"

"Well… it's good to know," Holly said, turning into the exit lane. "Can you be a pallbearer with your knee? Because if not-"

"Yeah… yeah," Seth said quickly, clearing his throat. "Don't worry about it, it's fine."

There was silence for a few moments as they went along and Holly's breathing seemed strangely loud in the absence of a conversation. The roads were more or less clear for the holiday, nobody was really outside and as they went from the more densely populated roads of Davenport and into the tiny community of Buffalo, Seth struggled to find something to say. He didn't know how to comfort his mother, now that both of her parents were gone and she was now in charge of putting everything together for a funeral service. He didn't want to think about what would happen when both of his parents passed away, as far and away as it seemed.

"You said…" Seth sighed, trying to fill the silence. "You think that he went peacefully, right? The… autopsy said organ failure?"

"Yes," Holly said, "He had pneumonia and so it was a bacteria thing. I can't… I don't think he felt very good at the end. We should have gotten him to a hospital sooner…"  
Seth bit his lip. His mother just stared ahead, sounding monotone and empty.

"I think… it was better than him losing his memory," Seth offered, he wasn't really sure what his mom wanted to hear. "If he had something like that, like dementia or whatever. He wouldn't have wanted to leave the farm and go somewhere else."

"Still," Holly said, shrugging slightly. "I… I don't know how it would have gone if I had gotten him to a hospital… I thought about it a lot yesterday where we could have gotten him in and figured out what was happening, then paid for a nurse to see him once a day, even if it was just for a few hours. Me and Bob had even talked about moving to Buffalo earlier this year, just because he's going to retire soon and although we couldn't take the farm on, it wouldn't be a big stretch to get a smaller house or something. Then maybe we could rent the house to Brandon… it was a thought…" she sighed again and Seth nodded, hating how his mother sounded. "I'm just glad you're here."

"I'm glad I'm here too." Seth said, smiling nervously. "Obviously… wish it was for better reasons… but… I want to be closer too. I feel really bad that… that I wasn't here… even if I couldn't have expected it I guess."

Pulling up the little road to the farm was hard, knowing that they were alone, almost intruding. The snow had melted down quite a bit since Seth's New Year's visit, but the utter quiet of the cold earth beneath their feet was so dense that he felt weighted down. The trees had no leaves and as they pulled up by the tack shed, Seth had to push all his feelings down before he felt tears in his eyes. Last time, he'd found out that Sammy the dog had died, and even that loss compounded onto the sadness of the barren, empty grounds of the formerly lively farm.

"Do you… have the keys…?" Seth asked stupidly, following his mother. She nodded as she pulled a key ring out of her pocket and walked up the short wooden steps.

"We'll need to check the mail too before we leave," she said quietly, pushing the door open. "I forgot."

The house was cold and empty, and despite the fact that there was no one there to disappoint, both of them removed their shoes and stowed them by Don's pair of winter boots, resting by the door. As they walked into the kitchen, Seth shivered, looking around the space with a sort of depressed curiosity. The house, already bare from when he'd last seen it, was even more depleted and empty. Pots and pans that had been hanging on a rack where gone, and the last remaining knick-knacks had vanished. Pictures of family friends that had been hanging above the fridge for years, were noticeably absent, leaving a strip of wall exposed with slightly peeling paint. All that remained were the essentials, some photos of Holly, Brandon and Seth, all from about ten years ago. His prom photo was there as well, with a picture of Sherry that was taken before Seth was born.

"I know… it's really… early," Holly said, turning to Seth with a serious expression, "But I _did_ make an appointment with an estate lawyer… sort of like a consultation. He's pulled grandpa's will and can go over it with us… but once we meet with them, we should have a better idea of what our options are for this place."

"Options," Seth mumbled, like he wasn't sure what the word meant. He'd hardly processed that this was no longer his grandfather's home, but rather a property that was now either to sold or inherited. His stomach churned uncomfortably at the sudden thought that he was likely the beneficiary if Holly wasn't. The last time he'd been there, Seth had talked to his grandfather about this, but he'd never known what was put into writing. He hadn't thought much about it since.

"Don't worry about it though sweetheart," Holly added, getting a glass from the cupboard and filling it with water. "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it."

Despite her assurances, Seth's head was already in a spin as they walked through the house and up the stairs to the top floor where Don's bedroom had been. The floorboards creaked and at the top of the hour, the grandfather clock in the living room chimed proudly. Seth shivered again as he walked through a beam of sunlight at the top of the stairs and for a moment wondered wildly what would happen if he suddenly owned a house. For one, he wasn't sure about mortgages or wills or property tax, and he felt panicked, but on the other hand, he suddenly wondered if he couldn't make something like that work. If Seth owned some land, he would have the freedom to do with it what he wanted. If he knew what he was doing, he was incredibly attracted to the idea of turning the plot into a functional farm again. Working outside sounded perfect, and being his own boss was just about all he wanted in life. But as soon as his brain started imagining such a future, he was stopped in his tracks by the guilt of prioritizing such thoughts over his grandfather's passing.

He hated himself for imagining some happy time where he was re-painting and decorating the property. Seth wanted to _honor_ his grandfather's legacy… he just didn't know how.

Seth's pocket buzzed and he checked his phone discreetly as his mother began pulling boxes out of Don's closet, rummaging around and talking to herself. Seth blinked, seeing Roman had contacted him with a picture of Dean dying Easter eggs with Roman's nephews.

 **Having a good time here, we miss u a lot and hope everything is going as good as it can be.** He texted **Tonight if u got time, we would love to call, just let us know whats up. Love u lots.**

 **For sure, love u too** Seth messaged back. He did feel very strange without them. The flight back had made him feel so lonely, thinking about death and the fact that he'd been sort of ripped away from his lover's unexpectedly. He was distracted though, realizing his mother was looking up at him, looking for his attention.

"I think there's actually a box in the barn that's got some plaques he got years back from the community board. He had told me he wanted to just throw them away… I don't know if he ever got around to it."

"O-okay," Seth said stupidly, easing himself down to the floor and pulling a box closer to him.

"I'm going to go see if it's still there, I'll text you if I need a hand." Holly said, standing at her full height and pushing the two other boxes closer to Seth. "We should find a few good headshots. One at least I can scan and send to the funeral home for the program."

"Gotcha," Seth said, opening up the old cardboard box and grimacing slightly from the dust. Everything smelled like gentle soap and moth balls. Holly made her way down the stairs and for a moment, Seth paused, staring at the bed, hypnotized. Now that he was alone, he thought morbidly of walking into the room and seeing the small outline of his grandfather's body. The bed was unassuming and remade as though nothing had happened, hardly a scene of great dismay. The quilt on the top of the mattress was very old, one of Sherry's blankets made from scrap fabric and old jeans. Trying to focus, Seth averted his gaze, pulling stacks of old photographs out of the box in heaps and setting them by his feet.

They were definitely interesting and as he began his search, Seth hastily grabbed a pillow from the bed to sit on, giving his knee a little rub through his loose jeans. It seemed as though the first box was a mix of more contemporary photos, all in color, which dated back mostly to the early nineties. A lot of the pictures were of Seth and Brandon when they were younger, running around the farm, or celebrating birthdays at the community center. A few, Seth remembered to be duplicates, ones that Holly had at their home as well, neatly tucked into photo albums for quick reference. Sherry and Don appeared intermittently, and one stack was devoted to Seth's cousins and his aunt.

On the floor, Seth's phone buzzed again and Roman had sent some heart emojis with eggs. Seth kept on looking through the photos, smiling as he found ones from Brandon's eleventh birthday party at the local pool. Seth was standing in the shallows with a squirt gun, looking goofy with missing baby teeth. It was cool to see these pictures again, but they decidedly weren't what he was looking for, and he continued on, stacking polaroids and pausing when he saw his grandfather.

Seth stopped at one point, more out of confusion than anything. A dark haired man with intense brows was holding a baby and sitting on a couch that Seth recognized from his childhood. He blinked as he realized it was his biological father, a man he hardly had any record of. During his teenage years, Seth had gone so far as to rip up any photos of the man where he appeared in the background of snapshots involving their family. It was maybe childish, but Seth was wholly unaccustomed to seeing a face that was eerily similar to his own, looking hawkish and maybe a little annoyed with being photographed.

Without really thinking, he pocketed the picture in his sweatshirt. He almost never thought about his biological father, but now that he was older and a little less emotional over the whole thing, the evidence of such a person was interesting. Despite some intriguing pictures, the first box on the whole didn't feature his grandfather very much and he kept on searching, placing the photos back in the box and grabbing the next container.

Inside, there were a lot of duplicates, but Seth eventually came across some photos that looked to be from the seventies and eighties. The contents were dustier and Seth stared for a few moments at his own birth photos, almost as though they belonged to a completely different person. His mother was a young woman, smiling and holding a tiny baby with very dark hair. There were pictures of Sherry and Don holding him as well, and finally Seth felt confident in starting a pile of photos that might be of use to the service.

The deeper he went, the more ambiguous his findings were. His mother's prom photos made him laugh, but they were mixed among pictures of other people with questionable identities. It took him a moment to realize he was looking at his aunt's baby photos, but he continued on, finding a few random pictures of Sammy as a puppy and Sherry and Don painting the exteriors of the farm house. Here and there were images of Buffalo in the early eighties with all the big hair and ridiculous fashion of a small midwestern town over thirty years ago. In each photo, Don looked younger, hugging his daughters or his wife, building fires or working in the fields. It was a lot to imagine so much activity going on under one roof, and Seth's heart ached seeing his grandfather's old wedding photos, seeing the two looking so entirely happy and in love, knowing they were both gone now.

"Fuck," Seth muttered, dabbing at his eye and putting a picture of their wedding service in the stack. He hadn't anticipated being so affected and the weight of it all was just exhausting. He wanted a nap, some sort of escape, but he was sure that the day was going to be jam packed with things to do. However, seeing so many perfect little snapshots of his family was weirdly addicting and even as he yawned, sniffing a little, his fingers danced over more photos, eagerly flipping through the stack.

The pictures lost their color and Seth became more and more interested, sure that he hadn't seen them before. The standard size of the photos became smaller as well, some with ridged edges and stamps on the back showing the dates to be from the fifties and sixties. Photos of old cars and well dressed, smiling people with horn rimmed glasses and permed hair. Seth recognized a photo of Don when he was maybe in his early twenties and added it to the stack, turning the pictures over and blinking as he found a handwritten note.

_Just because you asked, Arnold took it. There is a slim chance I may see you before this letter gets to you._

_Best,_

_Donny_

In some places, the pictures were smudged with some splash of some old something, and the handwriting was in cursive so it took a moment to read, but it appeared as though Sherry and Don kept up some communication through letters. At the bottom of the box was a stack of handwritten letters, folded so small and flat that Seth was a little afraid to open them. Squinting, he carefully opened the small, brown piece of paper and tried to make out the text.

_Dear Lilah,_

_I landed here all safe and sound, but believe me the roads are fierce in some places as the drifts are as high as the fences. We are going to try to finish up early saturday night, but I don't know what kind of high we will have but I think the weather will be fine tomorrow, at least I hope so. Say do you know I never got a particle cold coming out here? But I am sleepy now but not too sleepy to write to you. Now Lilah if I were you I wouldn't try to write back because I won't be here tomorrow and the next day I am going to the other place and I don't know what the names is or the other address either..._

Seth squinted, trying to make his way through the looping cursive and try to understand who Lilah was. His eyes widened as he saw a tiny picture of the farm house that looks incredibly old, similar, but very different in a completely white snow drift. The top of the letter said _BUFFALO IOWA, NOVEMBER 11th 1916_ and Seth snorted, realizing he was probably looking at his great grandfather's mail, mixed up in the box with Don's old photos. It was incredible to think that such a thing still existed.

In between other old photos, he found little letters that looked to be correspondences between Sherry and Don, as well as a photo of the two in front of their high school. Seth set the photos aside, and gave each folded letter a moment to see if anything particularly interesting was included. A lot of his great grandfather's mail seemed to be present assessments of the weather, and Seth had to laugh at the incredibly Midwestern sensibility of avidly describing minor changes in the temperature.

At the bottom of stack was a final folded white sheet and Seth picked it up, opening the paper and nearly having a heart attack as a tiny, fragile pressed flower fell onto the floor. With the utmost care, Seth picked it back up with a fingernail, setting it atop the stack of letters and gazing a the paper carefully. In addition to the flower, a photograph was included of two men. One looked to be Don and the other was dark haired and sporting a wide smile, sitting next to him with a huge grin on his face. They were each holding chickens in their arms, and wearing thick galoshes, proud of themselves and oddly close.

Seth's eyes widened at a little poem, written in his grandfather's recognizable scrawl, but much more loopy and careful than usual.

* * *

_Good-bye morning dew, good-bye_

_I am leaving you to-day for my own home far away,_

_Tell the braves they shall never see me more_

_Let the shining stars above show another brave you love._

_As the old love slowly fades away._

_And may your little birch canoe_

_Take you back to loved ones true._

_Farewell! Farewell! For ever!_

_Good-bye morning dew._

* * *

 No dates and no names, but Seth was sure it was his grandfather's letter. Without any context, he couldn't be certain of the intent or the meaning. It was likely (just as his great grandfather's things had been stuffed together) that this little poem was just some scrap of paper. Don had never been a writer really and Seth had no idea who this other person in the photo was, but for a solid minute he stared, inspecting the picture and the letter, wondering why this had been kept.

Both of these men now were probably dead and Seth could never ask his grandfather about it, but he was filled with a sudden pit of regret at the thought of never being able to ask about the hint Don had given him on his last visit. This sort of random possibility that his grandfather had been gay or bisexual or something other than just _grandpa_ , was something he couldn't properly investigate. Seth knew it was stupid, springing for such possibilities that this man could possibly be some lover, but the fact that he didn't know ate at him. The words of the poem were rendered so thoughtfully that Seth was sure they had been for _someone_ important.

With the same basic instinct that it took to put the picture of his father in his pocket, Seth set the picture of the two men in the pile for the service, sure of his decision. There was no doubt that his grandfather had loved his grandmother, that his relationship with Sherry had been strong and loving and everything a relationship should have been, but if Donald was less than straight, Seth wanted to honor that somehow. It was hard to tell that he was related to his grandfather as their features were so different and Seth was so much darker complexioned than the rest of his family, but he had to believe that if he had come to Don and told him about Roman and Dean, he would have only been excited to meet two lovers instead of just one.

The realization hit him suddenly that he had never shared this with his grandfather and Seth held his face in his hand for a moment, overcome with emotion. He felt impossibly empty, sitting in  Don's house, seeing his quilt and his shoes and his old possessions that were suddenly orphaned. All of the people in these photos had died. Sammy the farm dog was buried out in the field and everything was incredibly, deathly quiet.

Seth pulled himself together as he heard the door to the house open again and his mother came walking up the stairs. Running a hand through his beard, he wiped his eyes on his shirt and took a few steadying breaths, trying to just let his mind go blank and empty. However, his mother could probably tell he had been crying and put a hand on his shoulder kindly, looking at the stacks of photos.

"I didn't want to look at them all right now," she sighed, "Thanks for doing it for me."

"I-it's fine," Seth mumbled, rubbing his eyes. "Grandpa… had a really good life."

"He did, I couldn't find his plaques… I guess he just did away with them then. But who knows, maybe we'll find them once we go through everything." She said, withdrawing her hand.

"When do you think you'll do that?" Seth asked, handing his mother the small stack of decent photos of Don. Holly shrugged, surveying the room before walking decidedly into the hallway, like she wanted space.

"I'll talk to Mary Jo and see what she thinks, I think we'll have plenty of time to do so, so if it makes more sense for her to maybe come out in the summer and sort through some things she might want, that might be good. It all… depends…"

They walked outside for a moment for some fresh air and Seth heard crows cawing in the distance. He tried to imagine his great-grandfather on the far road, probably standing in the snow, taking a photo with a large old camera of the little farm house. It occurred to him that if he got the house, he would be part of that legacy now, that long continuation of Rollins that lived on the land. The thought of his own progeny, searching through boxes of his own old shit horrified him, and Seth shook his head and blinked, reminding himself that having kids would have to be a very conscious choice.

"Did you want to walk and get the mail?" Holly asked, pointing down the road. "We could just drive to it too… but I would have liked to have gone to a spin class this morning at the gym for some exercise. But, because of the holiday…"

"Yeah sure," Seth said, walking after her. "Knee's fine."

"Was it okay for your trip?" she asked, looking down to his clothed joint. "You've made such progress since I visited."

"It's still a little funny, but it's alright." Seth said, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "I'm not going to therapy as much anymore..."

The day got gradually warmer and warmer and as they walked down the road to the mailbox at the side of the road, Seth indulged himself more considering the possibility of living back on the farm. It was the sort of thing that would make sense if he could still bring in some sort of income, but it would obviously require quite a bit of thought and careful planning. He wanted to be sure of what he was doing, and was positive that he wouldn't know until he visited the lawyer. With a sudden twist in his heart, Seth bit his lip, wondering about his boyfriends. _What the fuck was he going to do? How could he possibly tell Roman and Dean about what was happening and not freak them out?_ In his heart, Seth was positive that he wanted them to come too, but it was obviously a monumental thing to ask. Immediately, Seth was sure Roman's family would try to quash the idea and if they couldn't agree… _well_ …

Don had no mail and Seth sighed as Holly shut the little mailbox and walked back up the road toward the farm again. He wasn't sure if he could ask his mother for her insight on anything right now, not with the funeral the next day and so many things to figure out. But still, Seth anxiously pondered the prospect of having to refuse a house if he wanted to keep his boyfriend's, or to refuse his boyfriend's in order to claim property.

It would be so perfect though, he thought, just as the farmhouse came back into view up the road. With Dean's new inclination for knitting and handmade goods, they could raise sheep or something for Dean to care for. The chickens would have a huge amount of space to roam freely, all over the property, just as Don's chickens had from Seth's childhood. Roman… well… Roman was in school… but Seth imagined he could do his education online or transfer. There were so many bedrooms and a basement and all the space they would need to spread out and make a life they wanted.

The spectrum of choice was terrifying and Seth stared vacantly at the wide acreage, trying not to imagine anything specific. This wasn't his land yet. He had no idea what any of it meant.

"Mary just got in," Holly said, looking at her phone and then at Seth. "I was going to get dinner oven-ready and then scan some of those pictures. The funeral home is going to open tomorrow morning and I'm just going to head in there early to make sure that everything is settled."

"Do you… need any help with anything?" Seth asked, tearing his gaze away from the treeline and looking to his mother seriously.

"Not today…" She said woefully, walking to front door to ensure it was locked. "Tomorrow… may be a lot… luckily Mary is going to speak so I don't have to… but I'll let you know."

"It's cool," Seth said, walking to the car and opening the door. "No sweat."

She took him up on his offer before they made it into the house, actually swearing loudly and startling Seth from the passenger's seat of the vehicle. He wasn't used to hearing his mother curse and he blinked, wondering what could be wrong.

"I meant to pick up honey and I forgot!" She said angrily, sitting back in her seat as they were now parked in the garage. "For the ham."

"I'll get it… it's fine," Seth assured her, thinking he could use a run to the store as a good enough excuse to just have a moment to himself. "Can you think of anything else that you need?"

They swapped out and Seth took his mother's car down to the closest grocery store, in a little shopping center with an old hair salon and an LA fitness. It was the place he and Marek always went to get snacks late at night when they were teens, before they'd gotten their little condo closer to Moline. Taking his time to drive with the radio off, he parked far away from the entrance, walking through the lines of cars and blinking hard in the sunlight. The trick of being home was seeing random faces of people he went to highschool with, aged out and pushing carts around with a kid or two in tow. Right now, Seth just wanted to be alone, not particularly interested in being recognized.

Once he got inside and grabbed the honey, he paced around each aisle, wondering if he might just pick up some snacks for himself. After all the drinking he'd done on his vacation, Seth didn't really feel the need to grab any beer or wine to entertain himself. On the whole, he still felt soggy and off kilter, from the sudden bad news and the still raw memory of scrolling through his boyfriend's phones with reckless abandon.

He felt wrong, but Seth was kind of glad he'd done it now, thinking to his own ambiguous situation with the farmhouse property and the possibility of some upheaval. If Seth had been sneaking through his boyfriend's chats and found that they had cheated or were talking poorly of him, Seth could at least be confident in the decision that he could leave if he needed to. While Roman's flippant ranting about his and Dean's behavior's to his sister was annoying, Seth felt confident he could try to be more aware of his boyfriend's feelings in the future and prevent any unnecessary stress.

Seth paused over the snack section, thinking more about Dean than himself as he had little appetite for Doritos and Cheetos. He thought to take a photo of the array and ask for an opinion of his boyfriends, but paused as the camera was front facing, showing his own unflattering mug.

 _I look stupid_ Seth thought, surveying the thin yellow strand of dyed hair, still clinging to his head. His beard looked okay, and his sunburn was healing, but Seth thought for a moment about going to a hairdresser and fixing his dye job before the funeral. However, there probably wasn't time with the holidays. The grocery store was occupied with frantic last minute shoppers and there were posted notices about their limited Sunday hours.

Moving to the beauty section in between diapers and magazines, Seth peered down at all the boxes of dye kits with smiling, stylish women across the front. He frowned, trying to think of the color that most closely resembled his hair. If he messed it up even more, he would look really stupid at the funeral, hiding the left side of his head as much as possible. He'd worn his hair down for Sherry's service, but this time, he was sure he wanted to wear it back and look more adult and smart.

"Seth?"

Seth turned and his eyes widened as Jimmy was walking down the aisle, beaming wide and carrying a little basket with some frozen dinners and fruit juice. Awkwardly, they mumbled and hugged, moving out of the way of a woman pushing a car full of processed foods.

"What's going on dude?" Jimmy asked, blushing a little. Seth thought he looked a little thinner and healthier than last time. His hair was shorter and swooped to the side, a distinct change from the ambiguous mess he'd had on his head previously. As weird as their last interaction had been, Seth was hardly upset, disoriented and absent minded as he was.

"Uh… not much," Seth mumbled, pointing to the array of dyes. "I'm… visiting family right now. My grandpa actually passed away the other day."

"Oh shit, are you okay?" Jimmy asked, folding his arms and looking serious. "I was about to hound you for a dinner date or something… but damn man. Natural causes?"

"Y-yeah, it was… unexpected… but… yeah…" Seth said, barely able to comprehend if Jimmy was trying to flirt with him. His friend looked sympathetic and thrown for a loop, unsure how to proceed. I'm fine, just uh… trying to keep my head in the game."

"Yeah, for sure," Jimmy mumbled, "That really sucks. How long were you gunna be around for? Obviously if you're busy, we could chill some other time or something…. But…"

"Yeah, I dunno about this trip," Seth said, looking at the ground and wishing he could just disappear. "I woulda let you know if I had a sec… but I literally was on a boat for spring break and then I got a call from my mom…"

"Say no more," Jimmy nodded, "I gotta jet anyway, I was just running here to grab some quick shit and potatoes for my mom."

"Heh, yeah, same kinda," Seth mumbled awkwardly. "It's uh… it's good to see you though man…"

He quickly picked out a box of a dark brown dye and headed for check out, sure that he didn't want to run into Jimmy repeatedly in the store. The cashier pushed his items down the conveyor belt and Seth thought about filling up his mother's gas tank for something else to do. He didn't have much money left to spend, but it would be well worth the effort.

Staring out over the road as he drove around, Seth yawned hard again, fully exhausted. His aunt was probably going to be home when he arrived and Seth really didn't want to entertain anyone. Although he often felt homesick in Florida, there really wasn't much of anything that Seth wanted to do now that he was back in Davenport. Everything was closed, but he didn't want to go out anyway. Although he was probably hungry, Seth had no appetite and couldn't say he was looking forward to a home cooked meal. It was almost as though his brain had been left out in the Gulf of Mexico as his mind churned between the picture of his father, his boyfriends, the farmhouse, Jimmy, his grandfather and his possible male lover. Nothing was clear or certain and all he wanted to do was curl into a ball under a heap of blankets, dead to the world.

"I miss you" Seth said out loud, driving down the road by his old middle school, wiping his eyes. He wasn't sure who he was addressing, equally sure that it could be his boyfriends or his grandfather. "I miss you a lot… I wish you were here."

Nobody answered, and Seth thought again to his grandparents voicemail, locked in time, unchanged. The thought of the line being turned off in a few days time had him sobbing and he had to pull over, breathing hard, trying to calm himself down.

He curled his fingers hard around the steering wheel until his hands hurt, trying not to look strange to anyone passing by that might see into his car. As stupid as Seth felt, he really just wanted a hug, someone or something to assure him that despite everything being entirely uncertain, he could figure out how to be happy once it was all over with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little late, I'm working on a commission. In the next few weeks, I'll become busy with this book tour and then in June I'm going to take a few weeks off because I'll be traveling around the country. Oi vey. 
> 
> I probably only have like 100 dedicated readers at this point, but you guys that have been reading and enjoying this are the bees knees. Thanks for commenting and giving me your thoughts. I'm glad you like the weekly updates!
> 
> <3


	25. Here's one more day on the Grey Funnel Line

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seth dyes his hair and worries about the future. Late nights. A funeral service.

Staring in the mirror at a new reflection, Seth felt weird, running his hands through a full head of dark hair that was more or less all the same tone. While the strand of fried blonde was still a different texture, more crunchy than smooth, it was decidedly brown again. The instructions and used bottles of dye sat on the sink in a mess, and Seth hastened to push them into the little bathroom garbage as he heard footsteps coming up the stairs. It was probably just Brandon, but Seth was finished using the bathroom anyway and didn't want to occupy it for longer than he had to.

"You in there?" his stepbrother's voice called. Seth grabbed his phone and the damp towel and opened the door. Moving aside so Brandon could use the toilet, Seth walked to his old bedroom and tossed the towel in the hamper, looking around. 

Black slacks had been placed on his bed, and Seth's mouth twitched, looking down at the pair and inspecting the fit. They didn't look like they were new, but they weren't the pair Seth had worn to his grandmother's funeral. Examining the waist and holding them up to his front, he was fairly certain they would fit. 

On the bed, his phone began to ring and Seth blinked, setting down the pants and picking up the device. Dinner was supposed to be ready in about a half hour. He was just wearing some loose sweats, letting his damp hair lay cold against his exposed shoulder. Roman's contact information was lighting up the screen and Seth sat on the bed, thinking.

"Hey," he said after a few rings, sinking back and feeling his heart tugging heavy in his chest. 

"Hey!" Several voices chorused and Seth frowned, wondering if he'd heard wrong. Roman and Dean were definitely there, but there was a woman's voice too. Seth didn't know what to say because he didn't know who was there. "How are you doing?" Roman's voice asked, sort of excited and over happy. "We wanted to check in with you, sorry… if now's a weird time-"

"N-no, it's fine," Seth mumbled, matting his slightly damp beard flatter so it wasn't getting his phone wet. "How… is easter going?"

"It's going great!" Roman said, and Seth could tell he'd been drinking. Just something about his voice was loopy. "We got in really late last night and all and we went to church this morning, but we took a little nap after the egg hunt. It's really humid here… " Seth could hear other people talking, the distinct high tone of a child's voice. "But we miss you a bunch and we want to make sure everythin' is going okay. Was your family doing anything for Easter?"

"Uh… yeah… we got dinner going on," Seth sighed, feeling wholly incapable of discussing anything at the moment. It was weird that Roman probably had him on speaker phone, an open voice in a whole room full of people that he didn't want in on his business. _ Would Roman's family really be so upset if he took a moment to call him more privately? _ "My… aunt's coming over from St. Louis… we're all just figuring out the prep for the service tomorrow. It's been a long day."

"Yeah?" Roman said. Seth tried not to sigh too hard into the receiver. 

"I dunno. I'm still glad I came obviously, just… gotta get it over with," he said, feeling words tumble out of his mouth before his mind had made much sense of them. "I don't even really know what's happening or where we're going or any of that. I… guess it's just the same place we were at when my grandma passed, but… I dunno…"

There was a pause where nobody really said anything and Seth cleared his throat, thinking.

"Sorry," he mumbled, sitting back up again and staring at the floor. "I still don't really know what to say or anything."

"That's okay!" Roman said hurriedly. "You don't have to say anything, we just miss you like crazy."

Seth let out a weird little snorting laugh, filtered through a frown. Roman might be tipsy, but he was at least sweet and honest. There was a sort of shifting noise from the other side of the phone and Seth could hear Dean's low mumble.

"We got all this chocolate for you," he said, Seth grinned, feeling vulnerable and emotionally congested at the sound of his other boyfriend's voice. "You coming back on Tuesday then?" 

"Yeah," Seth said. "That's still the plan… I'm going to meet with some estate lawyer tomorrow then get on a plane I guess."

On the other end, he could hear a kid saying something and a woman's voice scolding. The phone was rustled and Seth bit his lip. It would probably sound rude to ask who was listening and he didn't want to raise any eyebrows. Even if they were alone, just the three of them over the phone, Seth wasn't even sure what to say. The feeling that he might break into tears at any moment was so exhausting and there wasn't anything in his brain that felt remotely interesting. 

Roman began saying something but Seth heard a knock on his own door and Brandon poked his head in, looking embarrassed.

"Foods… ready…" he mouthed, quickly slipping back out of sight again. Seth nodded and licked his lips, heaving a sigh. 

"I think… I might have to go…" Seth said, pushing hair out of his face as he stood up and went to the heap of clean clothes that was resting at the other end of the bed. "I love you guys a lot… thanks for calling…"

"We miss you a bunch," Roman said again, sounding slightly disappointed in how quickly the call had come to an end. Dean mumbled an affirmation and Seth picked out a T-shirt that would suffice for their casual dinner. "Let's talk again tomorrow if you have time."

"I'll call you," Seth said firmly, sure that he wasn't going to answer another call where his words would be out in the open air. "Thanks..."

Mary-Jo had arrived and as Seth walked down the stairs, he could hear her voice from the kitchen, talking to Bob and his mother. Brandon was walking around the dining room table, which had been decked out in the usual nice tablecloth and fine dining ware that was used for the holidays. Stanley the dog was chewing a rawhide bone in the corner, ignoring everyone else. 

"I mean, I think it was a good choice to not have a visitation, but then, I hadn't seen Dad since last year. I just didn't think anyone would have shown up…" his aunt's voice trailed off. 

"No this works better," Seth heard his mother say as he walked down the hallway. "Seth can't be here that long anyways, he's been off of work for some time now."

"With his knee?" Mary-Jo asked. Seth rounded the corner and everyone smiled, unapologetic to the fact that they'd been talking about him. He tried to make some sort of smile, accepting a hug from his aunt and nodding. 

"I was on vacation," Seth said, too low in his mind to try to tease them for talking about him behind his back. 

"Was it fun? Holly mentioned that," Mary-Jo asked, smiling politely. "With your friends, right?"

Seth swallowed, nodding quickly. He wasn't sure what his mother had said but he wasn't trying to make any corrections. Holly turned a little pink, immediately busying herself with bringing the serving trays of ham and potatoes to the dining room and Bob continued washing his dish. It certainly wasn't a good feeling, but after a weird phone conversation and a creeping numbness of emotional overload, Seth just followed in his family's shadow. 

Mary-Jo had come alone to Davenport because her teenage daughter was in a volleyball tournament that weekend and Seth was honestly pleased she was the only one. His extended family lived in Missouri and as Mary-Jo had children later and married a much wealthier man, Seth always felt a little condescended to anytime he talked to his aunt. Throughout his childhood, he'd found her to be a very strict and unkind woman, who was always scolding him for things his mother never seemed to care about. 

As an adult, they got along fine of course, but they weren't a very close bunch. Mary-Jo seemed more sympathetic to her sister's dilemma of coordinating the funeral than feeling a lot of grief for her own father. As they sat together and discussed the various aspects of the service that they were managing, Mary-Jo dominated the conversation, leaving Bob, Brandon and Seth to mostly eat in silence. 

"I'm picking up the flowers at eight and so if you boys wanted to meet around nine or so at Calloway's, then I could have a hand setting up the displays and the arrangements," she said, flicking her short blond hair and looking to Holly for some sign of agreement. Her eyes eventually fell on Seth and Brandon and she gestured with her ringed hand. "I just know that you've had to manage this all yourself… if you needed some time…"

"It's fine, really," Holly shook her head. "We'll… see how I feel after the service. If we wanted to go get dinner before you leave…"

"Your hair looks very nice, Seth," Mary-Jo said, looking to Seth's still damp head and smiling in a way she probably thought was really kind and endearing. "After I saw those pictures of your hair on the internet, I was a little worried you'd have a _ mohawk _ or something!"

"No mohawk," Seth sighed, filling his mouth with scalloped potatoes to keep himself from forming a withering look with his face. Holly looked a little embarrassed by her sister's comments, but was similarly disengaged with what was going on in the present. The constant looming reminder of her father's death seemed to prod at her every ten minutes or so, jerking any smile away she managed to find.

After a terse recollection of his vacation and some assurances to help his aunt the next morning, Seth excused himself from the table, lying about pain in his knee. It killed him to step away from his family, but he was so coiled up in his mind he didn't know what to do about it. Examining his new reflection in the bathroom, he took a moment to poke at his face and beard, considering the idea of shaving his facial hair very short for the service. But the more he stood in front of the mirror, hearing dull conversation from downstairs and the overloud dripping of the sink, the more he was certain of the fact that it really didn't matter. Nothing really did, and the thought of it made Seth's chest constrict with tears he really didn't have the energy to act on. 

Walking to his bedroom, he touched the phone in his pocket, thinking hard. In Florida, it was just about four o'clock, and Seth imagined Dean and Roman were probably right in the middle of their own Easter dinner. As far as he knew, in Orlando, Bayley and Sasha were still watching their house, or at least showing up in time to let Kevin outside. The last thing Seth wanted to do was call up Jimmy Jacobs of all people, but he didn't really know what to do.

_ Cesaro _ , his mind supplied, rather obviously. Cesaro probably wasn't doing anything right now...

_ But what would he even talk about?  _ Seth thought, tossing his phone down on the nightstand and just turning over in the bed, pulling the sheets over his shoulders and closing his eyes. After the funeral service tomorrow, everything would be more or less sorted, and Seth was sure once he got back to Orlando and got back into the swing of things, he'd bounce back okay. Being here, in his mother's house, constantly being reminded of the loss was what kept throwing him into a tailspin.

Yawning hard and burying himself in the bed, Seth fell asleep, sure that he was being selfish and stupid for isolating himself from the family he'd flown there to see. But the thought of blearily returning to the living room and hearing his aunt go on about a newspaper obituary was too much to bear. For several hours, Seth catnapped, occasionally stirring as he heard voices in the hallway, but mostly just laying on his side, breathing in the familiar scent of the sheets he'd slept on through high school. 

Around 10:30 he woke again with a start and pushed the sheets away from his sweaty body. The house was quiet and the lights were off, making the moon and stars outside especially bright. Disoriented and unsure what could have prompted his awakening, Seth paused for a moment, rubbing his eyes and slinking back into bed as though he could just continue sleeping. The mattress was overwarm though, and after a few minutes of squirming, Seth sat up again, trying to collect his thoughts. 

He felt bad about sleeping through the evening and imagined his mother would have scolded him if she wasn't so consumed with her own grief. Easter was over and once the new sun rose, he'd have to put on a suit and make his way down to Calloway's funeral home. There wasn't really much else to do but lay in bed, but Seth couldn't sleep anymore.

He took a piss and tiptoed around the top floor, hearing his step father snoring in the master bedroom. His hair was almost dry now and his skin shivered in the cool air as he returned to his own room. According to his phone, it was just thirty degrees outside and he wrapped himself in his sweaty sheets again, trembling a little.

Roman had texted him a picture of a pile of constructed Kinder Egg toys and Dean posing with a glass of wine. It was from about three hours ago and Seth sighed hard, wishing they were there with him or he was in Florida, one of the two. Thinking about it in retrospect, Seth imagined he would be handling this a lot better if Dean or Roman or both of them had come with him to Iowa to support him through all of this. Realistically, Seth wasn't sure how that would have been possible, but the thought of his boyfriends continuing to have so much fun and enjoy life without him was devastating. Didn't they know how difficult this was for him? Seth's grandfather had been a constant in his life for as long as he could remember, filling in where his own biological father had been such a disappointment, and keeping close even when Seth's mother remarried. Where Roman had a large family with probably more cousins and aunts and uncles than even he could keep track of, Seth's family was small and tightly knit. Dean had no concept of such a thing, seemingly independent of all the people that had cared for him as a kid. 

Sniffing slightly, Seth knew that his boyfriend's were just trying to cheer him up, but he so desperately wanted to be held by them that anything less than that just felt like a tease. If he could just feel them and smell them again, everything would be manageable, if not alright. 

Touching his phone, Seth brought up Dean's contact information, wondering if he he might just try calling one of them and insisting that they talk privately. It was late, but if he went downstairs and sat in the living room so his voice wouldn't disturb his sleeping family.

But as Seth went downstairs, Dean's phone rang endlessly until the line said his voicemail was full. Seth frowned and tried Roman's number, only to receive a similar disappointing tone.

" _ This is Roman Reigns, sorry I'm not able to make it to the phone right now… _ "

"Goddamnit," Seth sighed under his breath, hanging up the line and looking around the dark first floor. Even after all the time spent away, he could easily navigate his mother's home without any light. Seth poured himself a glass of water in the kitchen and looked outside through the window at the cold night. Somewhere, out there in all that darkness, the farmhouse was sitting empty. For a few minutes, he recalled being a small child at the farm and sleeping in a bedroom with his mother at night. The roar of the wind coming off the fields always rattled against the house during storms and It had been frightening enough to wake him up. This was usually the perfect excuse for him to crawl into his mother's bed and sleep with her. 

Squinting against the light of his phone, Seth didn't bother sending a text to explain himself to his boyfriends, in the event that they noticed the missed call. They were probably both asleep, or staying up and drinking with Roman's cousins, unaware of their phones. Seth was also highly aware that he was being moody and emotional about the whole thing, but he couldn't help it, selfishly aching for attention. After so many days spent cuddling out on the ocean, the sudden lack of touch was highly distressing.

Rather than reaching out for attention, Seth put his phone down and paced the first floor for some time, thinking hard and slipping into a sleepy stupor when his brain fizzled out for a few minutes. He rubbed his eyes, took deep breaths and occasionally paused to sip from his glass of water. When Seth heard shuffling upstairs of someone using the bathroom, he stopped, sure that he didn't want to wake anyone up or make them think the house was being burgled. 

Part of him wanted to drive, just take a late night ride out around Davenport or Moline or even take a car out to the farm in Buffalo to be in a quiet place where he could properly isolate himself. But Seth felt strange, conspiring to take his mother's car. It wasn't ideal.

So instead, he returned upstairs, sighing hard. His phone never rang and instead of fussing with it, Seth just laid in bed, turned to the light at the window, staring at the old photograph of his biological father that he had taken from his grandfather's house. He wondered where the man could be, if Seth had ever encountered him around town without even realizing it was his dad. Rather than feeling mad or abandoned, he just examined the old polaroid and let his mind race.

Being gay meant never really having to worry about fathering a child he didn't want, and Seth still wasn't sure of the fact he'd ever want any children. If he came into possession of the farm house, it would probably be weird if it was just him living there without any kids running around in the dirt, chasing chickens and playing tag like he'd done.  _ Could he honestly take the property if he thought that he'd never have a family? _ Part of him wanted to say yes, but after going through all the records of the Rollins' family dating back over a hundred years, it seemed very sad to think that he wouldn't leave the house to anyone else when he passed away. 

Well passed midnight, Seth finally set the photo aside and turned over, laying on his belly and scooping up the pillows. He couldn't have kids if he didn't have a boyfriend with him and Seth had no idea how to tell Roman and Dean about any of this. It was ludicrous to think that he might become a homeowner and entangle two men into moving across the country with him. It was far too soon and they'd only just moved in together, but Seth knew he didn't want to leave them unless he really had to. 

And, yet again, he felt guilty for even considering such things as his grandfather had yet to be buried. Mind churning, it took him hours to fall asleep again, haunted by scenarios that stretched into wild impossibilities. 

* * *

When he woke, it was with the sort of dreadful resignation that came of a night with very little rest. From the bathroom, he could hear his mother crying and his own phone had two missed calls and some texts from Roman. Moving on autopilot, he didn't even read them until he'd eaten a fast breakfast and headed upstairs to change into his suit for the service. Mary-Jo was apparently getting the flowers and Bob had grabbed bagels for them all to eat whenever they could manage it. Brandon was dressed in nearly the same outfit, and Seth wondered if the black slacks had actually been one of his own pairs.

**You called? Did u want to talk?** Seth finally read. Roman had texted him early in the morning, followed by an additional question mark an hour later. Seth stopped lint rolling his suit jacket and stared down at the device, thinking. 

**Im fine now just had a long night** Seth said, going with honesty.  **Not really time now to talk but ill let u know.**

Seth heard his mother come out of the bathroom and he gave her a few moments to leave before he walked down the hall to check on his hair in the mirror. His whole body felt tingly and cold, his mind completely blank and exhausted. If Seth could be grateful for anything, he was relieved that he didn't have to speak or do anything besides carrying the casket to the hearse at the end of the service. In the mirror, his face was grey and lined with exhaustion, dark eyes impassive and cool. His hair was rather fluffy and soft from the night before, and he pulled the ponytail holder from his wrist to set it in a tidy, low bun. 

His mother came back to the open door, mumbling something about the lipstick she'd forgotten on the corner of the sink. Seth shifted respectfully and he could see she looked more composed now with her face full of makeup. 

"Thought it'd get it all out before I got ready," she admitted with a smile. Seth chuckled nervously and she surveyed his outfit, looking at the suit jacket in the mirror. "You look really handsome dear."

"Thanks," Seth said, bringing his hands down from his hair and smoothing his eyebrows flatter. "You too... Are you gunna be okay? Do you want me to help you with anything?"

"I'll be alright," she sighed, pocketing the lipstick tube and straightening her own hair in the mirror. "Thank you babe, just help Mary-Jo as much as you can… I have to make a few calls before I leave. Brandon's going to drive."

It was just about thirty-five degrees outside and Seth didn't bother bringing a jacket in addition to his suit as he made his way out of the house. The sky was cloudy, but there wasn't any wind blowing to make the air colder than it was. The thing that struck Seth the most was just how  _ quiet  _ everything was. Compared to Orlando, Davenport Iowa was obviously much less noisy, but the roads were mostly empty as Seth and Brandon made their way to the funeral home on the other side of town. 

"You gunna be okay?" Brandon asked after several minutes of driving in relative silence. Seth looked up and he could see legitimate concern on his step-brother's face, a far cry from the usual dopey expression he wore. Seth nodded quickly, sitting back father and in his seat and smoothing the front of his dress shirt. 

"Yeah, it's fine," Seth mumbled, shrugging a little. "Not the best day of my life…" he didn't know what to say. Seth couldn't remember the last really serious conversation he'd had with Brandon, much more inclined to talk about video games than anything complicated. But with the way Brandon was looking at him now, Seth felt touched, unaware that his step-brother was so sympathetic.

"Holly was really upset," he said, looking back to the steering wheel awkwardly. "She was crying earlier this morning…"

"Yeah…" Seth said, sighing hard. He licked his lips, trying to think of something to say. Having the radio on just felt gross, but he had to fill the silence with something. "Thanks… for taking care of things when I'm not here… with mom I mean. I know… there's probably more I could do for the family…"

Brandon didn't say anything, but seemed to blink more than usual, guiding the car through a four way intersection and staring ahead. Seth continued on, "...if you ever need anything man, let me know…"

"It's cool," Brandon said, scratching his own beard. "She's my mom too…"

The Calloway Funeral home was the same establishment that Seth's family had used for the passing of his grandmother. The little brick building was a dark brown with white pillars, looking just as quiet and calm as the rest of the small street, lined with various family owned businesses. Brandon parked up the road and Seth's chest sunk as he saw the sleek black hearse out front, strangely clean against the dirty snow bank. A wide clearing had been made on the sidewalk to make way for a funeral procession and Seth gave his knee a little tap, as though to make sure it would be suitable for bearing the casket to the car. 

Last time, they'd had a few extra hands at the funeral home help with the procession and that seemed to be the case this time as well. As soon as the two men entered the building, Mary-Jo spotted them and hurried over with three other men in tow. 

"The flowers are all set up! We just need to get programs and have you guys practice. Does that sound okay?" 

"Y-yeah," Seth said, looking into the service room, lit in a solemn, quiet white light. It was the same room as last time, with the same church style pews that lined the room, facing the front where the casket was lying, closed. The sight sent chills down his spine and Seth took a deep breath, looking away so he could focus on the present. Sensing the distress with a high level of professionalism, the oldest of the three men smiled warmly and touched his forearm very lightly.

"Whenever you're ready, we can walk you through the process in the secondary parlor," he said, "Mrs. Rollins' mentioned you'd done this before…"

"Yeah yeah, it's fine," Seth said, nodding quickly and heaving a deep breath. "We can do it all now. You good Brandon?" 

"Yeah," Brandon sighed, following after him. 

The tasks of the pallbearer hadn't changed much in the few years since his grandmother's passing and the short review was capped off with Mary-Jo hastening to add boutineers to their lapels. Mired with a little white flower, Seth tried not to poke at the decorative adornment that matched the flowers framing the casket on both ends of the parlor. With just an hour to go, Seth and Brandon split apart, walking around the funeral home and getting lost in their thoughts as Mary-Jo set up the display. 

With a small pang, Seth recalled the little hand blown ship-in-a-bottle piece that he'd purchased in Key West for his grandfather, never to be bestowed upon his loved one. It would have been nice to bring the momento to the service and place it with the photographs, but Seth had left it in his traveling bag, too distracted to make any sort of decisions. 

"Can you put these on the seats?" Mary-Jo asked, handing him a stack of pamphlets as she arranged the photos. He nodded, walking over and entering the parlor. Someone had started playing music and a very tall man in a suit with thinning hair had pulled the casket open for a proper viewing. 

Seth averted his eyes, drawing inward as he cycled through the seats, placing a program on each spot with the utmost care. The papers were simple and clean, with a picture of Don photocopied across the front, smiling with his white hair and wrinkled eyes. 

_ Donald Jonathan Rollins passed away on March 26th, at the age of sixty-eight years. _

_ A native of Buffalo, Iowa, Donald attended Andalusia high school and graduated from the class of 1965. He worked as a farmer and a land surveyor for Scott County, and in 1967, he married Sherry Price. Tthe two often worked as volunteers with the Muscatine Mission and Outreach, and for forty years, Donald served on the Buffalo Community Board, and always looking for opportunities to serve his neighborhood. _

_ Don is survived by his daughters Holly and Mary-Jo, and his grandchildren and step-grandchildren, Seth, Brandon, Arianne and Zoe.  _

_ Memorial donations in the memory of Donald can be made to the Muscatine Mission and Outreach,  _ _ 519 Mulberry Ave, Muscatine, Iowa. _

It was so small and simple, Seth wasn't quite sure it did justice to such a long, vibrant life. Glancing up at the front of the room to the casket, he swallowed hard as he could see the profile of his grandfather, resting peacefully in the bed of the casket. 

The seats were covered with pamphlets now, and Seth's fingers trembled as he went to the front of the room. A quick glance over his shoulders gave him the confidence to approach. Nobody was watching, and the soft music muted his shuffling footsteps. 

Seth's whole body felt numb and he swayed on the spot, vaguely creeped out by the sight of his grandfather, resting in the wooden casket. The insides looked silky, the upholstery shining in the soft light. Seth hadn't closely inspected his grandmother's embalmed body during her service, and even though he was by himself, Seth wasn't sure he wanted to look to closely at what was in front of him. It was all just off, his grandfather looked so small in the box and was obviously processed in such a manner that gave him the appearance of looking alive and resting. When he died, Seth was positive he wanted to be cremated, completely disenchanted with the idea of being in a very expensive box for the rest of eternity.

He exhaled hard, almost as though he was expecting Don to blink or move. Nothing happened, and Seth was still alone in the parlor as Brandon and Mary-Jo had moved to the front of the building to connect with the sixth pallbearer. 

"This is weird," Seth mouthed, feeling his chest well up with energy and his eyes become wet. Nothing was comfortable and he wasn't really sure what he was saying or why. "I'm really sorry… grandpa…" 

He sniffed and dabbed at his eyes, a little annoyed to realize that the closest box of tissues was several steps away, resting on a pew seat. Despite his leaking eyes, he continued, feeling enormously overwhelmed by his emotions. Over the last few days, he'd felt completely out of control, unable to anticipate what was happening in his head.

"Sorry… we didn't get more time together…" Seth continued, choking a little. "Sorry… I couldn't know more about you. I w-wish I was a better grandson… wish you could… have known more about me…"

Nothing happened and Seth took a huge steadying breath. He desperately wanted to just hear his grandfather's voice, to be assured that what he was saying wasn't true or that he was overreacting. He could hardly imagine Don's reaction to any of this, but it was killing Seth to keep it all inside. 

"I wanted… to thank you," he said, putting his sleeve to his eyes, letting the words leak out of him behind closed eyes. "For everything you did for me… as a kid… for mom. If you weren't there…" he screwed up his face and exhaled sharply, staring back up at the ceiling and blinking hard. "I don't think I would have… become who I am now… I love you so much… I'm going to m-miss you… so much." 

His vision was blurring hard and he quickly turned to grab a tissue, pressing it to his face and trying to mop himself up. 

"I wanted to-" Seth breathed, closing his eyes as he felt his chest clamp at the thought of his boyfriends. "I wanted you… to meet Dean and Roman… I d-didn't think… you would understand it-" he broke off, burying his face in his hands with the tissue and trying to keep his breath coming. "I wish I could have told you everything… been closer…"

He could hear the front door open and the sound of high heels tapping across the hallway floor and Seth broke his gaze, steadying himself. There was more he wanted to say, but he couldn't get it out and he was tired of feeling stupid. His grandfather wasn't there, Seth wasn't actually talking to anyone and contents of the coffin were creeping him out the longer he stood there. Burying his feelings away and walking on shaky legs, he stepped away from the front, glad to see it was just his mother walking to the parlor doors, looking inside. 

"It looks beautiful," she remarked, holding onto Bob's hand and nodding to Seth as he approached. "Thank you for helping sweetheart."

Seth just nodded and Holly held out her other hand, drawing him in closer. For a moment, he just hugged his mother, melting into her embrace and feeling his heartbeat slow and calm. The relief of it actually surprised him and he felt vaguely upset when she let go, patting his arm lightly. 

"There's a few people at the doors, I think we'll go and let them in early," she said, turning to Bob. "Did you see Mick? In his funny suit?" 

Don hadn't had many people close in his life at the end, but Mick, his closest neighbor had taken on a role of helping quite a bit with his grandfather's property in the last few years. Mick was a rather large man with a large beard, missing teeth and wild hair. He'd been around for years, and when Seth was younger, the man scared him quite a bit with his eccentric appearance. Don once told him his hair was long to hide the fact he was missing an ear, and so Seth always eyed the sides of his head strangely, looking for the distinguishing mark.

Hardly one to be too serious, Mick had worn a rather ridiculous flannel suit and had bought a large bouquet of flowers. Of the few people that had arrived early to pay their respects, he was definitely the most jolly and social.

"Thanks a lot for coming," Seth said, embracing the man shortly and spinning on the spot to find where they were accepting flowers and cards. 

"Oh don't mention it," Mick said quietly, patting him on the side. "It's good to see you again kid."

The rest of the attendees that trickled in seemed to know Don at several times in his life. Helpers from his volunteer service, old church folks that had been friends with Sherry and workers at the diner they frequented each Sunday all came to sit in the parlor. Over and over again, Seth thanked them for coming, standing with his arms at his center, nodding and hearing the same words over and over again.

_ "We'll keep you in our prayers," _

_ "Sorry for your loss," _

_ "Your grandfather was a great man," _

It was all appreciated and Seth was touched that each of them had taken the time out of their day to honor a man that seemed so isolated toward the end of his life. The music became louder and Brandon mingled by Seth awkwardly, watching Holly and Mary-Jo converse with guests as Bob hovered, making sure candles stayed lit and nodding respectfully. 

"Was Mary-Jo going to speak?" Brandon asked under his breath, looking to Seth carefully, "You weren't, were you?"

"God no," Seth murmured, shaking his head and sighing hard. "I think… mom is…"

When everyone was finally seated, Seth and Brandon walked in, leading the way to the front row where the other pallbearers were sitting. Holly and Bob sat on the opposite front side and Seth watched her slip the pamphlet into her purse. In the light, her eyes were very bright, and she stared ahead at the casket. Seth could hardly imagine the day where his own mother would pass and he would be the one in her position, mourning the loss. 

Life was fleeting and Seth blinked, looking up to the front and wondering who was going to speak first. Drawing the pamphlet up from the seat, he saw his mother's name at the top of the program, but also noticed the backside had a set of lyrics to a song. As the small group of people began to hang their heads in a sort of quiet contemplation, the music became louder and a woman's voice crooned music over the speakers in a beautiful, heartbreaking song.

_ Don't mind the rain or the rolling sea _

_ The weary night never worries me _

_ But the hardest time in a sailor's day _

_ Is to watch the sun as it dies away _

_ And it's one more day on the Grey Funnel Line _

 

_ The finest ship that sails the sea _

_ Is still a prison for the likes of me _

_ But give me wings like Noah's dove _

_ I'd fly up harbour to the one I love _

_ And it's one more day on the Grey Funnel Line _

 

_ Oh Lord, if dreams were only real _

_ I'd have my hands on that wooden wheel _

_ And with all my heart I'd turn her round _

_ And tell the boys that we're homeward bound _

_ And it's one more day on the Grey Funnel Line _

 

Seth blinked hard, looking from the front of the room, to the floor, to his mother, holding onto his stepfather's arm and breathing hard. The tune sounded very vaguely familiar, like it might have been on an old cassette tape in his mother's car when he was growing up. It was taking everything in his power not to cry again and even Brandon looked compromised, folding the pamphlet over in his hand, anxiously. 

 

_ I'll pass the time like some machine _

_ Until blue water turns to green _

_ Then I'll dance on down that walk ashore _

_ And sail the Grey Funnel Line no more _

_ And sail the Grey Funnel Line no more _

 

Holly walked up to the podium with the microphone, looking tiny and exhausted under the harsh light above her. With one hand, she dabbed at her eyes carefully and Seth tried to will her stronger, asserting any energy he had to her so she might be able to talk in a dignified manner. She was much more secure than he was, and she actually managed a half smile, looking out onto the little group sitting before her.

"I want to thank everyone who came today to honor my father, Donald Rollins," she said simply, her gaze landed steadfast on Bob who smiled back, nodding. "I feel grateful… to be surrounded by such a lovely group of people, so that we might look upon his life together and celebrate the soul that we have been able to experience, in the time that god has allowed us to do so…"   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For folks that want a better idea of the song (or maybe just want to cry about something) : https://youtu.be/61FI86oV3qA?t=72
> 
> Sorry this is late, honestly, I'm heading into real deal prep for a book tour. Having stores contact you to buy your shit and getting a bunch of upward mobility all at once is crazy. I'm taking a short vacation to Colorado just to clear my dumb head at the end of the month. Pretty much any time between now and mid june, chapters may be a little late. I'll try to post updates on my tumblr blog, just so you guys are aware of what's going on and don't get scared that I'm falling off the face of the planet. I may take a short hiatus just to build up a buffer of chapters just so i can write in bulk again. I don't have a lot of notes for this fic (which might baffle you, I know, I'm terrible XD) so especially right now when my life is nuts, I find myself forgetting things that I wrote and it makes me anxious.
> 
> Excuses excuses blah blah blah, please comment if you're enjoying this. Next chapter, Seth visits the estate lawyer and suddenly shit gets very real. Very important chapter to the canon of my not-really-a-lifeguard-shield-au. Glad you guys are enjoying what's happened thus far though. I know you look forward to this so I try my damndest to get it to you.
> 
> Un-beta'd, mind the wine stains. <3


	26. Riptide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seth visits the estate attorney.

When Sherry, Seth's grandmother had passed away, Seth had been given some money that was put toward paying for two lackluster semesters at a community college, as well as his Cadillac. Brandon had also got a car, and his cousins had taken a trip to Europe with their choir. Despite his current lack of a degree, Seth had appreciated the gift of money at the time and was glad that he wasn't saddled with any debt after he'd withdrawn from his classes.

That time had been different. Seth hadn't met with any lawyers or estate managers, and his mother had just wired him the funds through her own bank account. But with Seth's name all over his grandfather's will, he didn't know what to expect when he went with his mother to meet the estate attorney the next morning. His bags had already been packed for his return to Orlando, and he'd checked into his flight that morning before leaving the house. Mentally, he'd already began to check out, fully spent and exhausted.

"Depending… on what we find out today, we might want to have you come up sooner than later again so we can figure everything out," Holly said as she steered the vehicle into the turn lane, heading in the direction of an outlet mall on the edge of Moline. "We might be able to have you do electronic signatures for the forms, but I'm not sure. You also just might want to be there to see what they say."

"We'll see," Seth sighed, barely there. There was something vaguely nerve wracking about the folder of documents sitting in the back seat, a collection of Don's last bank statements and mail that were accumulated from the house. But in his mind, Seth could only think of the service and the previous day, recalling his own tears and the closing of his grandfather's casket. It wasn't really over yet, not for his mother who would still have to manage tying up all the loose ends for weeks to come, but Seth was left feeling very hollow. 

Life would be about finding a new normal now, as the farm was left empty until Seth could understand what was to become of it. He was supposed to be back at work tomorrow. According to some quick, late night texts, Dean and Roman were back at the house in Orlando, already getting into the rhythm of their normal lives. The houseboat felt like a lifetime ago. 

"Do you think you'd... like to move back?" Holly asked tentatively, chancing a glance in his direction as they got closer to their destination. "If you had the property… you wouldn't necessarily have to make it into a farm again or anything. We could talk about some things you could do with land."

"I have no idea mom," Seth breathed, pushing back his hair and blinking. Holly didn't say anything, but just continued staring ahead, watching the road. He didn't want to seem aggressive or annoyed, but Seth genuinely couldn't say anything yet. Nothing felt like a  _ smart  _ choice.

It was a warmer day for Iowa, but Seth still shivered as he got out of the car and readjusted the bottom of his hoodie. The parking lot was mostly empty and in the trees on the edge of the wooded area behind the building, birds were crowing loudly. On the glass at the front door, HEYMAN LLC was written in a bold typeface while icicles dripped fast around, melting in the heat.

Since the funeral, Holly seemed a lot better, or at least operating more at her usual baseline. She smiled at the receptionist sitting behind a glossy wooden desk and gave Seth a little pat on the back as they sat in the lobby area. 

"How are Roman and Dean?" She asked as he stared at his phone. Seth set his device down and blinked, shrugging a little.

"Good I guess," he said, smoothing his jeans flat. "Easter went okay I think."

"In Pensacola?" Holly asked, Seth just nodded. She was doing that  _ mom _ thing that sometimes irked him; being kind and warm when he was clearly in a slump. Seth knew he didn't have any right to act annoyed with her, but the words were coming out of his mouth almost raspy, like he'd forgotten how to speak.

"Yeah, they drove up right after the Keys," Seth mumbled, "I guess they had fun. They're at work I believe."

"If they ever wanted to come and visit, they'd be welcome to." Holly said, giving him a small smile. "It's not as fun as Orlando maybe… but we could all go out to dinner some time. I don't know if there's enough room at the house for all three of you, but I'm sure we could work something out."

Seth just nodded, staring at the floor until a rather large man in a suit came walking into the room from his office. He was nearly bald and looked sort of walrus-like, with a double chin and a sort of sinister face. 

"Ms. Rollins?" He said, extending his hand. "Nice to see you, and I see you've got everything there. Excellent. Would either of you two like any coffee or tea?"

"Oh, I'm fine," Holly said and looked to Seth. He shook his head, following after his mother. "Thank you for getting us in so early Mr. Heyman…"

The meeting itself was rather clinical and Mr. Heyman's office was a sort of dry room with a curtained window, blocking out most of the natural sunlight. They took seats in plush chairs by the hardwood desk, and the attorney brought up some printed sheets of paper as well as his own laptop computer. For several minutes, Seth wondered why he was there as his mother and Mr. Heyman chatted back and forth about legal procedure and Iowa's probate laws. There was some speculation about how long it would take to begin the proceedings, and Seth felt his attention wandering as his mother called Mary-Jo to ensure that they'd properly filed for a death certificate. He sat patiently in his seat, picking at a loose thread in his hoodie and his own fingernails until his mother hung up the phone. The birds outside stopped crowing as the sun went behind a cloud and Mr. Heyman finally addressed Seth as though he'd just noticed he was there.

"Though your mother is the executor, we'll have to have you file your own claims for ownership of the property if you should so chose," he said, sliding a piece of paper across the table which was part of the multi-page document that made up Don's will. "We'll have to wait on probate of course, but it states here that so long as make the decision to move to this residency and can prove it, you stand to get your inheritance in lump sum." 

Seth followed the trail of the man's hands down the paper as he circled the dates. His hands were fat and round, and the pen in his grip looked expensive. 

"If you don't move or you chose to sell the property, you'll see incremental sums over the course of twenty years, which begins six months after you sell or surrender the property to the state." He looked to Holly carefully, twirling his wrist and touching his other hand to his suit in a sort of explanatory manner. "This is usually something that's advised with larger estates and inheritances, as it usually gives the benefactor some time to process the decision and begin financial planning. Usually there's less challenges to the will as well, as family members can take the time to discuss and decide how they may want to divide the money without resorting to legal action."

Seth blinked as Mr. Heyman outlined a large, six figure number with his pen at the bottom of the paper. 

"That's... the taxable property value?" He asked, trying to make sense of the legal jargon. His mother had asked a bunch of questions about the mortgage that he didn't understand at all and he wasn't sure if he was supposed to keep stopping them to get the details. Mr. Heyman shook his head smiling.

"That's your  _ inheritance _ ," he said, "That's the figure which either may be portioned out if you chose to sell, or given in full if you chose to take on the property."

Seth was hardly conscious of his mother's hand touching his back and rubbing circles. He could scarcely believe it, and for a few moments, he wondered if he wasn't in some dream. Turning to his side, Holly looked sort of taken aback, but wasn't gesticulating wildly or grinning or looking remotely upset. The casualness of it all was astounding and after Heyman finished talking about some additional tax, she just shrugged and sighed.

"He told me he sold some antiques and some stock that he'd had a while ago," she said, blinking. "I guess that's how he handled Mom's hospice care so well…"

Seth swallowed hard and felt like he was actually going to be sick. There had to be something wrong here, a comma out of place or some sort of practical joke. His hands had started to shake and he put them under the table to hide them, panicked.  _ How the hell could he have anticipated this? _

Seth barely heard or remembered anything as the rest of the meeting went on and subsequently wrapped up with Mr. Heyman shaking their hands and insisting he would start probate as soon as the appropriate paperwork was handled. Everything felt off, from the temperature, to the colors of the sky and the reflective shine of Holly's car. The whole time, he could feel his mother's eyes on him and Seth's extremities began to shake again as he sat in the seat, suddenly freezing.

"I won't be upset with you for being happy about this you know," Holly said finally, looking to her side and raising her eyebrow. "It's a lot to think about, I'm sure. You've had a very strange week, but you have time to think about what you want."

"How in the fuck did you not know about  _ this _ ?" Seth asked, beyond all pleasantries and manners as his voice shook with a cracking nervous laughter. "All these years, grandpa was just sitting on that kind of money and living like he was? Why the hell didn't he help himself when he was sick like that!?"

"Your grandfather didn't care about money," Holly said, her eyes narrowing. "He lived like that so he could help us when  _ we  _ needed it. If I'd known... well... I could have done something about it, but-"

"But how did you not  _ know _ ?" Seth spluttered, laughing again and pushing his hair back. He was actually sweating and his fingers were still shaking hard. "You didn't think to tell me that I'd be getting… " the words died in his throat, constricting around  _ over half a million  _ before it could come out in the air. Even before he said it, he knew he sounded wildly inappropriate. The funeral had just happened, but it was all such a shock to his system that Seth actually felt like he might throw up or cry again. 

"I didn't know the dollar amount, but now do you get why your grandfather paid for your surgery?" Holly said very sternly, slowing the car down at a red light and looking to her son. "Seth, I'm sorry if you're upset, but I think you should be very grateful for what you've got. It's not as though your grandfather is giving Brandon and your cousin's much money- he's giving it to you because he thought you would use that money to maintain the farm property, not just do whatever you  _ want _ ."

"That's not what I'm saying at all!" Seth said, jaw dropping open as though he'd been hit. "M-mom… I'm so grateful… I don't…"

"It's a lot to think about," she said snappishly, moving through the light but pulling over in the parking lot of a Wendy's on the right side of the street. She moved the vehicle into a space behind a large trailer truck and looked to Seth seriously. "What's wrong? What are you thinking?"

"I don't know." Seth said, shaking his head and trying to swallow. She put her hand on his lap and he held it, feeling her small, cold fingers in his own sweaty palm. "I have no clue, honestly."

"Just… breathe, okay?" she said, squeezing back. "I'm going to try my best to take care of this, but I just need you to do what you think is right. If you want my advice…" she paused for a moment and Seth's heart beat fast, making his head ache. "I can give it to you in time, but right now… we shouldn't worry about things that aren't set in stone yet."

The ghost of a laugh fell out of his mouth and Holly smoothed his hand harder, trying to calm his fears, but Seth's mind just continued to race. It literally felt as though he'd chugged two energy drinks and he couldn't stop vibrating with the mania and the panic of what he'd just found out.

"Can you… send me all that stuff?" Seth sighed eventually, gesturing to the back seat where the folder's full of Don's information was. "The… the will and all that… so I can look at it and think?"

"Of course," Holly said. "Are you okay?"

"Probably not," Seth laughed again. His mother's face fell and Seth felt stupid, unable to stop his voice from wavering up and down. "Don't... worry though, really… I just… need some time…"

He felt as though he was wearing a mask for the rest of the day, trying to assure his family that he wasn't about to explode. Managing a smile as he said goodbye to his family, Seth made his way through the airport sliding doors and slung his carry on bag over his shoulder, blinking hard, trying to think. Waves of emotion washed over him in spurts as he went into his head, staring at length at whatever wall was in front of him and nearly pulling out his beard hairs and he smoothed his chin over and over. He had to connect in Chicago, then get on another plane to get to Orlando. Just a few more hours of pretending he was a functional, completely fine human being.

_ Why the fuck was his life this strange and complicated? _ How could he have known that his grandfather had been squirreling away a fortune and not told anyone? Seth didn't know anyone in his life that had had a similar experience and he still couldn't believe his mother looked so casual, as though the dollar amount printed on the piece of paper wasn't an enormous, life changing event. 

Seth laughed out loud at his gate, remembering how his mother had insinuated he seemed ungrateful for the charity that had been bestowed upon him. As the plane began to dock outside and the chairs around him filled with other travelers, Seth found himself grinning and frowning back and forth, scratching his chin and sighing as his mind tried to make sense of such a fortune. For a minute, he eagerly imagined his own home gym and leisurely days where he read books or played video games lazily, forgoing the hard work of a nine to five job or lifeguarding. If he felt compelled, Seth could go back to college and find something that stimulated him a little more than aquatics. He'd live on his own land and do whatever he wanted.

The next minute, Seth was imagining Roman and Dean there with him, cooking the finest foods and dressed well in a smartly decorated house. They could all live a relatively easy life, as open or isolated as they pleased, unlimited in their capacity to enjoy each other's company. There would be plenty of space and his family was close by, they could turn the property into whatever they wanted. 

But then, Seth's stomach turned and he imagined an adjacent opposite. What if Roman and Dean _didn't_ want to live with him in Iowa? Or worse, what if Seth told them about the money and they would only move in order to take advantage of his resources? Seth didn't have any evidence to believe that they might, but he tried to imagine what might happen if one of his boyfriend's won the lottery.  _ How might Seth himself behave if his lover was suddenly incredibly wealthy? _

"Attention passengers, flight 14013 to Chicago O' Hare is scheduled to depart on time-" The attendant at the check in desk called over the loudspeaker. "We will begin boarding in approximately ten minutes…"

Seth lingered, trying not to pull weird faces as he stood at the front with the other travellers. He felt a little short of breath and tried for some time not to think about the inheritance or what he was going to do about the whole situation. In his pocket, his phone rang and Seth's pulse quickened again, seeing Dean's contact information.

"H-hey," Seth said, "I'm about to get on the plane."

"Mmm, I think I'm pickin' you up, Uce is mad tired," Dean's voice mumbled on the other side of the line. "You just wanna let me know when you get in?"

"Yeah... I'll text you," Seth sighed, looking around. Dean shifted and Seth could hear Kevin's barking in the background, Dean grumbled and Seth felt his chest constrict. He _ really _ wanted to be home. "I love you a whole bunch."

"You too boo," Dean said. Seth smiled, Dean never called him  _ boo _ , usually just babe or babycakes or something dumb like that. "Dog misses you."

"Tell him I miss him too," Seth said through a smile, struggling silently. Part of him wanted to tell Dean how confused and exasperated he was, but the line was starting to move and there was no graceful way to communicate what he was thinking. Though the sound of his boyfriend breathing on the other end and adjusting the phone next to his ear was still a nice break from his anxious mind. 

"I'll see you soon," he sighed, licking his lips and wishing he didn't have to hang up. "Bye."

It took forever to actually board, and Seth couldn't be easily distracted by his phone, thoughts racing in a horrible circle the moment he ended his conversation with Dean. For the time it took to stand in line and await getting to his seat, Seth vaguely wondered if Brandon or his aunt might try to challenge the will if they weren't happy with Seth getting a bunch of money. He also considered the possibility of selling off his grandfather's property and taking the incremental payments, which would surely be less stressful than a huge chunk of money all at once. As he stuffed his bag in the overhead and took his seat, Seth remembered all the old photos of the farmhouse and his family's legacy and quickly discounted the idea.

He  _ had  _ to return to Iowa, it just wasn't up for decision. Seth needed to look after his family and take on some responsibility. If he decided to just sell off the house and force the onus for doing so onto his mother, he would be a second rate son, he couldn't help feeling that way. Quickly, his thoughts turned to panic again as the plane began to pressurize and the attendants started shutting all of the overhead bins. A six figure inheritance was more money than he'd probably ever touched in his life and he had no idea how he was going to deal with any of it.  _ What if he was led astray and had the money seized in some legal entanglement? Who could he even talk to about this?  _

Seth hadn't ever had such a panic attack, and he became distressed in his seat, wondering how he'd been left alone to process such information. His mother and step-father had hugged him goodbye and dropped him off at the airport, but there had been very little assurance in their words as Holly had continued to insist it would all be figured out later.  _ Was it possible she was jealous or upset that he'd gotten the money and she hadn't?  _ Seth began to feel his chest tighten hard again and he actually struggled to draw air, blinking hard and feeling his pulse in his ears. Everything was cold and he began exhaling hard in a sort of puffing sigh, drawing the attention of the older woman sitting next to him. 

The discomfort liberated Seth from thought, but his head was throbbing and he put a hand to his chest, massaging and trying hard not to be scared. He attempted drawing in air and breathing rhythmically, but he was dizzy and he felt like he was still short of breath. Nothing like this had happened to him before and Seth stared out the window, trying to breathe in as long as he could, counting his inhales without any actual thought to keep track of them. Stuck in the window seat, there really wasn't much he could do and the flight attendants were walking down the aisle and preparing for takeoff. 

"Is it your first time flying?" The woman next to him asked, smiling in a kind sort of way. Seth shook his head quickly and put up the hood on his sweater, his skin shivering from chills. He was slipping into terror, and Seth actually thought he could be having a heart attack or something, but he was unable to speak. Seth closed his eyes tight and begged his body to behave, desperately willing his heart to stop racing. It was awful, and when he finally felt his chest un-cramp slightly, his whole body began to feel numb and heavy.

"Are you alright?" The woman tried again, touching his hand. The plane was starting to accelerate and pitch up into the sky. "It's okay, really. What's your name?"

"I'm fine," Seth croaked, putting his hands to his forehead and massaging his temples. "It's fine."

The sky darkened and Seth went between looking out the window and keeping his eyes closed, trying to relax as much as possible. When the plane had stabilized in the sky, he went to the bathroom and splashed some water on his face, just so he could move around a little and give himself a private space to sit. His mind continued to hum with low level anxious thoughts, but Seth was fairly certain his body was too exhausted to give him another death panic. Looking in the mirror, his face was ruddy and grey and his eyes were red and wet looking. 

There wasn't any explaining this to Dean or Roman when he landed. If Seth told them the truth about why he was so freaked out, he couldn't properly control the situation, he was simply too fatigued and spent. His newly dyed brown hair was fanning out in a sweaty mess around his ears and Seth looked away from his reflection, certain of his unenviable situation. If Seth told his boyfriend's what was happening now, they would pull away, scared of extra responsibility. There was no way they would just agree to up and move across the country at the drop of a hat, unless they just wanted the financial stability of a guy with a fat inheritance check. 

Roman wouldn't leave his family in Florida. Dean was always wigged out by commitment. Seth fanned his face and exhaled hard, trying to keep his eyes dry and his mind blank. It wasn't working. Nothing was.

Hopelessly, he looked up into his reflection and tried to smile, nearly breaking at the sight of such a forced expression. His eyes looked strange and his teeth looked weird in his mouth. Seth would have to pretend a little, and he tried several times to think positively, readily trying to visualize the conversation he was going to have when he got off the plane and saw his boyfriends.

"It was sad, but that's life," Seth muttered under his breath, as though he was testing the words, rolling them over his tongue as he smiled again for the mirror. "It's over with now, It was good to be there for my family." he mouthed the words again and again until they actually sounded like words, and not just mouth sounds. "The service was beautiful."

There was a knock at the door and Seth straightened up and left the bathroom, carefully edging by an older man who wanted to use the bathroom, returning to his seat, Seth sighed hard again.

"The lady with the cart passed by but she said she would come back," the woman next to him said. "If you wanted it..."

"I'm fine," Seth said, practicing his smile again. Apparently it was convincing enough, as the woman seemed to drop the subject and return to her book. Seth adjusted himself in the seat and touched his knee. His joint was okay, and he felt strange tracing where the scar was under his jeans. If it hadn't been for his grandfather, Seth wouldn't be walking properly again. His MCL, ACL and meniscus had been repaired because of the man's kindness, and Seth couldn't be more grateful for the fact that he was returning to full function again after such a traumatic injury.

Seth  _ desperately _ wanted to be that kind of person, an established individual who could care for his mother if she ever fell ill, blessed with enough money that nothing was particularly difficult or worrisome. The plane pitched a little on the wind and his chest soared, a strange contrast to how tight and tense he'd felt earlier. In a few hours, Seth would be back with Dean and Roman, the people he  _ wanted _ to be his family, but he couldn't tell them about all of this, not yet. Not until Seth had some sort of plan in place that he could present to them. Seth _knew_ he was going, knew that it wasn't a deal he could pass up, but if Roman and Dean couldn't be there with him... well... he supposed he would have to live with that.

But then, all his happy thoughts, all his lovely memories that he'd just made on their vacation stabbed at him in the most gut wrenching way that Seth had to focus on his breathing again. The happiest he'd ever been in his life was probably with them, laughing and joking, running around nearly naked and swimming in coral reefs with two people that only lit up with joy at the sight of him. He'd left home to find them, and _because_ he'd found them, it all had been a success. Even though Seth didn't have a great job and he'd busted his knee, he cherished his time because of Dean's weird little whistling and dumb jokes and Roman's big smile, warm touch and lovely cooking. Could Seth actually be happy without them? 

He didn't know, but the plane started it's descent and as the seat belt light came on again, Seth was scared of losing anything else. Just yesterday, he'd carried his grandfather's casket to grave plot from the hearse. Mary-Jo had some flowers placed on Sherry's grave as well, right beside the spot where Don would be interned. Everything had gone well, and the sun was shining as Seth stood at the grave, sweating slightly between the other pallbearers. Brandon looked to him, almost following his lead as they heard the pastor give the committal.

_"...Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, looking for that blessed hope when the Lord Himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God, and the dead in Christ shall rise first..."_ The man said, speaking in a respectful tone and eyeing the ring of family members that stood above the plot. Holly was crying softly and Mary-Jo was holding her hand while Bob rubbed her back. _"Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so shall we ever be with the Lord, wherefore comfort ye one another with these words..."_

Seth didn't know what his grandfather had envisioned for him, and again, he wished he was there so he might ask. Above all things, he wanted to make his grandfather proud, but with no clear guideline, there was nothing he could do but wither in his seat, consumed with anxiety, hoping he might be wiser when the wheels of the plane hit the tarmac. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hoping my bare minimum of legal knowledge doesn't show too much here. A sort of short chapter comparative to the bigger ones I've been pumping out. This really does set the stage for the major conflict of this story and thus it all unravels over the next few months of story-time in this fic. What's next for Seth when he gets home? Can he tell his boyfriends about the situation or not?
> 
> The fundraiser is coming up. Roman is off of school and Dean begins working at the farmer's market. How did Easter go in Pensacola? 
> 
> I have two weeks until my tour and lots still to do, so please be patient if the next chapter isn't up right away next week. I will definitely be taking part of June off, but I will return in full force with more fic, so please comment and let me know what you're looking forward to so I can address it in time. I've gotten some people wanting me to write more Finn in here, but if you're hankering for anything else, let me know and I'll find some way to make it happen!
> 
> <3


	27. Chin up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seth returns home and goes back to work.

The relief of seeing the Jeep idling in the pick up area of the Orlando airport was like a numbing agent on Seth's whole body. Coming from cold Davenport Iowa, his skin prickled on contact with the humid, sticky air. As his luggage piece rolled on the sidewalk, he heard the yappy barks of a small dog.

Seth smiled huge, his heart aching at the sight of Kevin sprinting eagerly down the sidewalk to meet him, his leash trailed on the ground from where Dean was leaning on the car. Stooping to scoop up the dog as best as he could with his stiff leg, Seth brightly allowed his dog to lick his face and beard. It felt like it had been months.

"Brown?" Dean muttered first, his forehead wrinkling behind his sunglasses as he stared at Seth's hair. They drew closer, and Seth couldn't bare going without a hug, not after such an emotionally agonizing trip. It was night and the inlet of the curbside pickup area was well lit, but nobody was watching them. Seth sank against his boyfriend and melted slightly, smelling the scent that was Dean's body wash and pool chlorine and just a hint of sweat. 

"I dyed it…" Seth mumbled against Dean's chest, not wanting to draw himself away from his soft shirt. "For the service."

"Missed ya." Dean said simply, snorting a little as Kevin squirmed against both of them, annoyed at being slightly squished. "Was weird not havin' you around."

"Missed you too," Seth sighed, sort of dreamy. "Flight sucked. Everything sucked."

"At least you saw your fam..?" Dean suggested awkwardly, patting him on the back so they could pull away and load up the hatchback. Seth just shrugged, quickly putting away his luggage so he could be off as fast as possible. All he wanted to do was be home, away from travel and transit and ideally right between his two lovers that would make him forget the huge inheritance issue hanging over his head. 

"It was just… a lot." Seth said, waving his hand to try to brush off any further questions. "I don't wanna talk about it… How was Easter though?"

"Good," Dean shrugged, setting his phone in the cupholder of the Jeep and turning the radio down. As he buckled his seatbelt, Seth smiled looking at his boyfriend, sure he was still a little sunburned from their trip. "Good food. Church."

"Yeah?" Seth asked, not really sure what he was asking. From what he recalled of drunkenly rummaging through Roman's phone, he was sure  _ something _ must have happened. Seth slipped away without much notice after all, and he'd neglected to message Mrs. Reigns after she'd sent him a sympathetic text. If there hadn't been so much chaos bearing down on him, Seth might have felt a little guilty leaving Roman to explain the situation to his family, but his mind was obviously elsewhere.

"Yeah, it was chill," Dean said, scanning the road. "Jimmy and Jey's place wasn't as nice but it wasn't as…  _ supervised _ say…"

"Did you guys go to the beach at all?" Seth asked, trying to think of things Roman had mentioned about his hometown. His mind felt blank. Dean just shook his head, watching Kevin in the rearview mirror and driving at his usual sedate pace.

"Nah, got our fill in the Keys," he mumbled, yawning. "Still… gettin' back into the routine again…"

The house on Grant street was quiet and Seth felt his whole brain shutting down the moment they pulled into the driveway. He didn't care about grabbing his bag and could hardly conceive of going to work the next day. Just that morning he'd been at the legal office in Moline and now he was over a thousand miles away, feeling a lot like he'd been dragged there behind a horse. Walking up the steps into the house, Seth imagined for a moment, lying in bed with both of his lovers and going step-by-step through his inheritance issues and his own thoughts on the matter. But as soon as he saw Roman, Seth knew he couldn't muster the energy to do so, barely able to form a coherent sentence as he collapsed into his larger boyfriend's arms.

"Hey," Roman said softly, running a hand through Seth's hair and stroking it quietly as Dean set Kevin down on the kitchen floor. "Everything go okay?"

"It's over now," Seth sighed, once again lavishing the scent of his boyfriend's chest. Roman had been drinking a beer and laying on the couch in his pajama pants. The whole house was still and quiet, familiar, but also somewhat different. Things were a little messier than when they had left, and a stack of mail was poured over the kitchen island to sort through. By the door, a huge cardboard box had been broken down, likely from the bed frame. Roman himself was wearing a new shirt and looked a little more plush around the hips from their vacation diet.

"You want anything?" he asked, giving Seth a kiss on the forehead and glancing down fondly as he pulled himself out of the crook in his boyfriend's arm. Judging by the look in Roman's eyes, Seth was positive he would do just about anything he asked, but his exhaustion made him yawn again, plainly obvious.

"Sleep," he mumbled. Dean grabbed the roller bag that he'd left by the door and hauled it into the bedroom while the two men stood, leaning into each other. Thankfully, neither of his boyfriend's seemed overly concerned, taking Seth's words as honest and respecting his space. With some playful rubbing of his sides, Roman kissed him on the cheek and mumbled "Let's get you to bed then."

The new bed frame made the room look more broody and complicated, dark and sort of luxurious in the way that the older wood frame wasn't. The lip on the frame was larger, and Seth could see both Roman and Dean had their phones tucked into the side for easy access. It was still a little early for Dean to tuck in for the night, but he flopped out onto the bed with every indication to snuggle.

"Go brush your teeth," Roman ordered, gesturing at Dean while Seth let his hair out of his bun and began undressing to the degree he wanted to sleep. Dean smirked, getting comfier on the pillows.

"Already did, you go do it," he mumbled, sticking his phone into the charger. 

Roman sighed, turning on his heel and shuffling out of the room. Kevin came in to join Dean on the bed and Seth stared as though he wasn't sure what to do. It had felt like a month since they'd had a mattress large enough to fit all of them, and he'd sort of forgotten how they'd all managed to fit together. Usually he was right in the middle, but lately Seth was used to spreading out. Dean opened a single eye and stared back at him, watching carefully.

"Feels 'bout the same as the old one," he explained, patting the bed as though Seth was just unsure about the new frame. He shook his head and scooted onto the mattress without putting too much weight on his knee, weirdly aware of how the bed seemed to smell like nothing. Even after time away, his nose was still calibrated to think of the house as some neutral space.

Laying face down on the surface, Seth sighed as he felt fingers in his hair, twining through his oily locks. In one ear, he could hear Dean breathing, and in the other he heard Roman spitting into the bathroom sink.

"You good?" Dean asked, barely a whisper. Kevin's cold nose poked at Seth's bare thigh and he twitched, trying to wave the dog off. 

"Just… tired," Seth repeated, turning and closing his eyes so he could face Dean and continue getting his hair toyed with. It hurt Seth to think of how much he really wanted contact and assurance, that he was home and that everything was alright. But the looming cloud of his situation weighed over him so heavily he would be crying if he weren't so exhausted. Where he usually would isolate himself, Seth knew he couldn't turn the whole issue into a tantrum like he had with his knee. Not if he wanted to avoid conflict. 

Eyes shut, Seth could imagine Dean beside him, maybe looking a little skeptical and confused, but still mindlessly carding his hand through his hair with a sweet expression. Roman came in just a minute later and immediately coiled around Seth, spooning him tightly and smelling like both beer and toothpaste. He said something that sounded like "That's better," and Seth sighed, closing his eyes for the last time before the lights were shut off. 

There was no words he could piece together that sounded smart, nothing that could explain what he'd found out and his panic regarding the inheritance. It would just have to wait. Despite his fatigue, Seth slept fitfully, attempting to toss and turn and starting awake as he felt Dean or Roman at his side. His mind raced jaggedly from one poor thought to the next, anxiously puttering over his grandfather's land, Roman's family, the easter he'd missed and the horrible possibility of his family fighting over his inheritance. Twice he woke up sweating and simply stared at the ceiling, hands on his chest, trying to breathe.

What would happen if he went to the hospital? His brain felt like it was going to explode and for the first time in his life, Seth would have eagerly accepted one of Roman's Xanax pills just so he could sleep. The act of turning his head to check the time on the clock seemed pointless, as it would only exacerbate his worry. Whenever the sun rose, Seth would have to go to White Water, it didn't matter what his mental state was.

Roman was snoring in his left ear, and Seth tried his best to feign sleep, eventually closing his eyes and actively trying to consider happy thoughts, or at least emptiness. 

The Keys. The houseboat. Snorkeling with Dean and Roman. Dressing up for a lovely dinner. Grilling on the back of the ship. Shopping in Key West…

But then, his brain turned on him.

_ Drinking to excess. Being embarrassing. Spending too much money. Making a fool of himself. Being dishonest… _

When he let out a sort of anguished sigh, Seth felt a hand rest on his belly and he squirmed a little. Dean had put his hand there, still at a safe distance away, close to the edge of the bed, but apparently trying to offer some sort of comfort. 

The hand rubbed small circles and Seth swallowed hard, sighing again. He didn't want to talk… he just wanted to be  _ empty _ . While Dean's touch wasn't unwanted, Seth knew his mood was probably going to come up sooner than later if he couldn't act perky. 

But despite it all, some part of Seth was perky whether or not he felt mentally capable. Dean's soft fingers grazing the fuzz of his underbelly gave him shivers, and his largely ignored dick was suddenly bridging in his boxer briefs, reminding Seth it had been an age since he'd enjoyed himself. Somehow, despite the mess in his brain, his cock had found the means to act out. 

It was very… conflicting… but Seth hadn't messed around since the houseboat. Dean's arrant hand was disturbing his blood flow and he swallowed, trying not to think as he shuffled up and made his boyfriend's hand suddenly make contact with his crotch. For a few seconds, Dean just continued to rub around, half awake. But as soon as he realized what he was doing, Seth heard him grunt and pause.

Just to be encouraging, Seth hummed, making sure he was loud enough over Roman's low snore. Dean still didn't move for another minute, staying still until Seth became impatient and put a hand on his wrist, making his desires clear. Dean grunted through the darkness and came closer, sticking his face right up against Seth's neck, giving him shivers.

"Thought you were tired'," he whispered, kissing up the nape of Seth's neck, making him shiver hard enough to nearly bump skulls. Seth breathed hard and kept Dean's hand fondling him tenderly. "Wanted to sleep so bad…"

"Need you," Seth mumbled, snorting a little as a Roman fumbled his snore in his throat, making it sound like he was slightly choked. "Losing my mind…"

Dean just purred, using his other hand to mat a swath of Seth's hair out of his way. As aroused as he was, Seth didn't really feel fully awake or capable of anything with much movement. It probably wouldn't have been terribly unexpected for Roman to wake up to his boyfriend's fucking, but Seth always felt weird when that sort of thing happened. 

They were playing it cool for the moment, making as few waves of disturbance as possible. Seth craned his neck to kiss Dean and Dean's hand smoothed down the elastic of Seth's underwear to pull his cock free. With a couple of careful strokes, Seth stiffened and Dean chuckled in his ear, making the short hairs on his neck stand on end. 

It was the charitable thing to do, on Dean's part, as Seth knew that he wasn't burning with the urge to fuck or expect any reciprocation. He simply worked, kissing and biting playfully on Seth's shoulder, working his hand slowly around the area. Even in the lack of light, Dean seemed to know exactly when he was leaking, spreading his wide thumb around the head of his dick, keeping the area soft and stimulated. Seth sucked the inside of his own cheek, trying not to let out any gasping breaths. He didn't want to come all over their sheets, and so he readjusted, flopping fully on his back so he could only make a mess of his own stomach.

"Nice," Dean breathed as Seth made a funny noise, trembling hard in the silence as he came with the sort of rapid fire pleasure convulsions that arrived after a dry spell. Dean experimented and continued to stroke a little, goading him on as his dick continued to pulse and spit. Roman was still snoring luxuriously and there was actually light just barely creeping through the window. Hardly a good night's sleep, but at least productive in a sense. 

"F-fuck," Seth panted, pushing Dean's hand back as he began to feel overwhelmed. His chest was heaving and he felt like his brain was finally deflating. At that moment, he wasn't equipped to explain how amazing it felt to get that little rush, finally breaking up the tension in his body. Though Dean seemed to have some idea.

"You're welcome," he chuckled, reaching off the bed with a long arm to grab a towel that was loosely hanging from the hamper bin. Dean tossed it over and Seth quickly tried to clean his front, sure that he'd probably need a shower in a few hours to wake up anyway.

"I owe you one," he breathed sleepily, trying an overhand shot to sink the dirty towel back in the bin. It fell on the floor, but he was too tired to care. "...Wanna… call in to work…"

"Mmm," Dean said, impassive. Seth turned on his side again and pushed his backside toward Dean, the cue to politely ask for a cuddle. Dean yawned and wrapped him up, threading his arms under Seth's and pulling a sheet back over them. It wasn't more than ten minutes before he'd kicked it back off, but it was all a haze as Seth could feel his body shutting down into a blissful, much needed rest. 

* * *

With so little sleep, getting to White Water the next morning could have admittedly been worse. Even though he hadn't rested nearly enough to feel one hundred percent, Seth was surprised by how easily he seemed to move through his day. Roman's chirping phone woke them all around 7:45 and Dean made Seth one of his patented happy bowl sandwiches.

"How you feelin'?" Roman asked politely as Seth quickly brushed his teeth. Spitting in the sink and making way for his boyfriend to use the beard trimmer, Seth honestly didn't really know.

"Fine I guess," he mumbled, wiping the edge of his mouth and washing his spit down the drain. "Weird… getting back into the routine again."

"I was gunna make some like, Japanese sushi bowl things for dinner." Roman said, pulling a face in the mirror to make his jawline the most accessible for a trim. "Soybeans and rice and fish."

"I thought you were broke," Seth mumbled, a little too tired to not sound condescending. "Sounds… expensive."

"Less expensive than eatin' out." Roman grunted, slapping Seth's backside. "Can you go put some coffee in my thermos? That caramel cream stuff on top?"

It was a rather hot day and all three men carpooled together for once, Dean sat in the back while Seth took his usual spot in the passenger's seat. Inside the Jeep, there was still evidence of their vacation in the form of fast food wrappers and some beach sand. Poking at his work pants and turning up the dial on the air conditioner, Seth tried to imagine what he might be doing that day after so much time off. His mind was blissfully blank, and he wondered if it was possible to exhaust himself of his own anxiety. As they parked the car in Seth's secured EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH spot toward the front of the lot, it took a moment for him to register that the park was open again.

"Has it been pretty crazy then?" Seth asked, unbuckling his seat belt and shuffling out of the car in his usual, stiff legged fashion. The lot wasn't hugely full, but there were plenty of parents and small children queuing at the park's open gate. 

"Not yet," Roman said, surveying the area and scratching at his chest. "Hunter's pretty methodical about makin' sure that all the new staff are good to go, so until the first weekend after the fundraiser, it's pretty chill. Once the kids are doing field trips and stuff, that's when it gets bad."

"Hmm," Seth hummed, feeling his pocket buzz as they strolled onto the sidewalk toward the front entrance. His heart skipped a beat as he checked his device, noticing his mother had texted him.

_ Hey honey, I'm emailing you the estate executor notices to look at because I just got them back from the lawyer. We're going to need to file some paperwork a little sooner than I thought. Let me know if you need me to explain anything. Love mom _

He sighed hard and pocketed his phone again. Roman seemed to notice Seth's attention being diverted and gave him a nod as they came to the front door. 

"I'm gunna be done around noon," he mumbled, "If you need anything."

"I'm good," Seth said automatically, feeling his chest twist uncomfortably. He couldn't think about this now, not right at the beginning of his day.

"Hey! Seth!" Sami cheered excitedly as they walked through the door. Seth managed to smile back, happy to see his co-worker. "Heard about what happened… Sorry to hear about that, man."

"It's all good," Seth repeated, watching Dean and Roman move through the lobby, toward the locker rooms. On the whole, White Water looked about the same as ever, with the exception of a large sign promoting the spring hours for the water park. A few patrons were right on his heels and Sami couldn't stop to chat, so Seth continued on, sure that he didn't want to spend much time in the hot boiler room in the basement if he could help it.

As he walked to the break room to stow his sandwich lunch, Seth chewed his tongue for a moment, thinking about how he would reply to his mother. If Holly was reporting to the estate lawyer, Seth's need for time probably couldn't wait. If he was going to burst the bubble and discuss everything with Dean and Roman, he'd have to figure out how to do so fast. 

Seth waved weakly as Lana and Ru walked by in a rush, barely noticing him. It was still impossible to predict how his boyfriend's might react to such a thing, and again, the huge sum of money was brought to the forefront of his mind. As he opened the door to the break room and noticed Finn sitting at the table, Seth forced a smile to his face. For the duration of his time at work, he really didn't want to look too mopey and arouse concern.

"Oh, hiya Seth," Finn said in a rush, urgently shoving something in his hands under a napkin. Seth paused, then grinned wider. 

"What's up man?" he asked, setting his bag down on the table to pull out his sandwich. "What'cha got?"

"Oh, nuting…" Finn said, blushing hard and putting the cap on a pen that had been in his hands. Seth didn't want to intrude upon anything that looked sincerely private, but he was curious as he'd never seen Finn flustered before. "How err… how was… the service?"

"It was fine," Seth shrugged, staring at the spot where Finn's hands had been. "Did Hunter give you something?"

"No… err," Finn sighed, looking resigned. "Well… I tink I mighta been a last one tah sign it anyway…"

Finn sat up fully and Seth watched him pull a card out from under the napkin. Seth blinked and Finn handed it over, looking a little embarrassed. "Well, 'Unter did buy it I tink…"

"Oh," Seth said, blushing pink as he inspected the card. Across the front, in black cursive _Our Deepest Sympathies_ was printed on a white card stock. Inside the card, each side was full to bursting with signatures and sayings from all of his coworkers, scrawled with what appeared to be the bright red pen that Finn had been holding. His heart fluttered and for a moment, the anxious thoughts diminished. 

_ Sorry for your loss, beers on me next time! I'm sure your grandfather was a good man. _  Finn had written quickly, obviously interrupted before he could properly write his own name.

In the top corner of the left hand side, Hunter and Stephanie had simply signed their names smartly. A few others, mostly people Seth wasn't too sure of, had just written something to the extent of  _ our thoughts and prayers are with you _ . Seth let out a little snort as he recognized Dean had just drawn a series of scribbly chickens on the bottom of the card. 

"I'll jus' tell 'Unter I gave it tuh ya," Finn said, nodding as Seth eagerly poured over the little groupings of written words, making him smile.

_ Seth!!!! I'm so sorry about what happened!  _ Bayley had scrawled in huge letters in the middle of the card.  _ We had so much fun watching your place and I hope you still had fun on your vacation even with such a hard thing to come back to. I hope your family is okay and if you need anything you can always call me! _

He smiled further as Sasha had simply made an arrow pointing to Bayley's text and wrote  _ What she said, _ with a smiley face with it's tongue out. 

_ Let me know if you need anything! We can always hang out or go to a show if you need something to get away to. - Sami _

_ Thinkin' of you. Sorry for your loss my man - Xavier _

_ Keep your chin up!!!!!!! - Kofi  _

Roman had drawn a lopsided heart next to Dean's chicken and simply wrote  _ your boys _ under it. Seth kind of wished he could cry a little and promptly go find his lover's and playfully smack them. It hadn't occurred to him in the slightest that anyone at work might know or care what was going on. Surely the immediate circle of his friend's would have found out from Dean and Roman, but he hadn't considered such an enthusiastic display of consideration.

"Man, thank you," Seth said, smiling and setting the card on the break room table. 

"It wuddn't my idea, but I can take credit," Finn beamed. "Losin' family is tough."

"I'm just glad nobody was all upset I had to take more time off," Seth said, glancing at the clock on the wall. He'd gotten there a little early, but he needed to clock in soon. "I didn't want it to seem… weird or something. I dunno."

"Nah, we get it." Finn said, checking his phone. "Good tah have you back!"

"Good to be back," Seth nodded, scooping up his bag and walking out of the door. He shuffled over to the clock-in station where he could run his card and spent a few moments thumbing through his wallet. It had been so long since he'd been at work that his punch card had been shuffled to the back of the leather fold. As he pulled it out, Hunter hurried by and locked eyes with Seth, pausing his stride. 

"Hey champ, I've got to run upstairs, but I have some stuff for the fundraiser set aside for you if you can meet me back in my office in ten," Hunter said firmly, pointing to the second floor. "You doin' alright?"

"Yeah, for sure," Seth said, giving him a little salute. "I'll see you there."

Even if he wasn't okay or things weren't exactly what they could be, he was at least convinced of the fact that his work life was positive, if not always straightforward. Hunter gave him a thumbs up and Seth let out a sigh of relief, staring vacantly at the swim team board. If he could just focus on his job for a little bit and pretend it was okay, maybe it all would be okay anyway.   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey you guys! Sorry this took awhile to start back up again. I admittedly didn't get as much written as I would have hoped, but my book tour went really great. I made some money, and a lot of getting back into my routine was swamped with filling orders and decompressing after a lot of craziness. In the future, I've got a little more travel lined up, plus some work related seminars, but I will be trying to update as weekly as I can. Mondays always. 
> 
> Seth's back now and the fundraiser is on the horizon! The boys will talk a little more next chapter, but things aren't about to be simple. Let me know your thoughts and Happy 4th of July to my American readers <3
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	28. A Higher Calling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seth leans into Roman and Dean and gets an offer he can't refuse. Bonus: Polaroid pictures from their houseboat vacation!

It was a little disturbing how easily Seth was able to slip into his routine at first, even as his mother was sending him several different forms from the estate lawyer. Work was a means to move around and ignore his reality, and the moment he had left Iowa, the cloud of worry and indecision lifted somewhat. He wasn't sure why he'd imagined Dean and Roman accosting him about the truth of his situation, or even an explanation about how his time away had been. But as Seth settled into his first full day of being back in Florida, he began to feel slightly hurt that his boyfriends didn't seem to be noticing anything at all. 

Their flow was slightly changed now by the fact that Roman's summer semester hadn't started yet, and when Seth went to find Dean outside during their usual lunch break, he couldn't find him. Instead, his boyfriend had taken some time to sit in the hot tub after his lessons and Seth didn't find him until his water safety class had wrapped. It obviously wasn't cause for a bad day, but after packing swag bags for the fundraiser all morning with headbands and keychains, Seth was feeling a little bored and listless.

The real annoyance came when Roman took an extra half hour to pick them up at the end of his shift, as he'd taken the Jeep Cherokee home after his morning Water X class. After five minutes of waiting outside and then feeling like he was going to sweat to death, Seth dialed his number and hovered by the check-in desk awkwardly. 

"He just texted me he's leavin'," Dean said, coming around the corner with his work bag and drumming his hands on the counter. "Fell asleep I think,"

"Must be nice," Seth snorted, shifting his weight from foot to foot and yawning. AJ was behind the front desk, trying to make a phone call on the main line while Sami folded towels. Rather than trying to string a conversation together, Seth went to sit on the bench by the double doors, licking his lips anxiously. Could he really take the time to pour over some legal documents that night? Roman and Dean would probably want to know what he was doing if it took too long. Glancing up at his boyfriend, Seth watched as Dean leaned on the lobby counter and fidgeted with his phone. Why did Roman only text  _ him _ ?

When the Jeep Cherokee pulled up and both men piled inside, Seth frowned slightly as he watched Roman turn in his seat and adjust the settings on the radio. Behind his sunglasses he looked rosy and sort of dull from his nap. 

"Jus' don't know what to do with myself with all this time," Roman shrugged, "Have a few beers, take a few naps."

"All out of our boat tequila, what else you gonna do," Dean mumbled, relaxing in the back seat. Anxiety piling in his chest, Seth didn't say anything. He didn't want to overreact, but he thought it was rather strange how Roman been day-drinking by himself and then neglected to pick them up. Looking to his boyfriend again for some sort of reassurance, he found Dean was simply staring out the window, distant from the situation.

"How'd it go?" Roman tried, turning to Seth for a moment and trying to assess his mood as they continued down the road. "Knee still feelin' okay?"

"Fine," Seth sighed, more quiet than usual. "Should call the PT office… check in about an appointment."

It was a quiet drive, but Seth couldn't muster up the energy to strike up his usual balance of snarky and flirty. Not every car ride had to be a bastion of enthusiasm, but as they got off the highway, Seth began to close off again, feeling guilty and weird. 

He wanted a hand or a hug or something. It all felt so hollow and strange, sitting in the car, being back in the mix of things and actively trying to forget what was actually going on. Now, without distractions, it was all weighing on his mind again. His grandpa was gone and he was left to pick up the pieces. 

"You need a little snack?" Roman asked as they came into the Oakridge neighborhood. 

"Huh?" Seth blinked, looking up. He'd heard the words, but they hadn't really registered in his brain.

"Frosty's?" Roman offered, giving his knee a little pat. "I got dinner stuff ready, don' mean we can't do dessert first."

"N-no," Seth shook his head. "I don't need it."

It was all that was said until they got out. Dean grabbed Seth's bag for him and there was an awkward moment where Dean refused to let Seth bring it in by himself. Heart pounding with nervous energy, Seth quickly went to busy himself with getting his dog outside and ignoring his boyfriend's pinched lips. 

Kevin quickly ran to his preferred spot in the backyard to pee, the corner fence where a tall weed was growing. As he trundled along with his collar jingling, Crispy clucked and came out of the shade of the overgrown rose bush. Seth watched the chickens become alerted, then mellow, realizing it was just the small dog in the backyard.

He sat at the back table, sighing hard and actively trying to calm himself down. What he wanted most was to do muscle-ups or wall balls or some impossibly difficult CrossFit EMOM that had him clutching his chest for air. His body and his head hadn't felt right since he'd been injured and he shuddered to think how poorly his cardio had likely become now. Pulling out his phone and resting into the deck chair, he aimlessly opened the document his mother had sent him. Sure he had no answers to any question it might pose.

Seth didn't know what probate was, and every time he saw his full name printed across the document heading, he sighed again, at a loss. If his mother was the executor of the will, should he get his  _ own _ lawyer just to make sense of all this?

Crispy clucked at his feet and Seth set his phone down, sinking his face to rest into his elbow. _Could this wait?_ It had to. There was no way his brain could function, right then and there. 

The door slid open, but Seth didn't sit up. Rather, he quickly flipped his phone upside down in the event it hadn't locked yet. His arms were sweaty and it was undeniably hot in the backyard, but Seth was of the mindset that he wouldn't really become comfortable anywhere.

"You hungry babe?" Roman asked, putting a hand in his hair and lightly massaging his scalp. Seth let out a humming noise, but gave no other answer. He simply sat, letting Roman pet his head until his boyfriend stopped and withdrew his hand. At the loss of touch, Seth sat up and realized the chickens had all come over to spectate, clucking suspiciously and looking substantially larger than the last time Seth had seen them all nearly two weeks ago. Lars, Seth's black hen was filling out her feathers well and looked a lot less awkward. Her feet appeared more proportionate after weeks of looking gangly. 

"I could make you something lighter too," Roman suggested, putting his hand on Seth's back and tilting him against his hip. Dean idled out and stood by the doorframe, looking twitchy. It was all sort of overwhelming and Seth didn't want to cry for what felt like the hundredth time that week, but it was stinging at the edge of his eyes. 

"I'm hungry, but…" he breathed, looking down at Kevin who immediately came to his aid, licking his hand. "I dunno… I don't really want…" his voice broke, betraying whatever semblance of togetherness he had. Roman's hand rubbed harder and Seth put a hand to his face, breathing deep.

"You don't have to be any way," Roman assured him in his low, sure tone. "Do you want to talk? Inside?"

"Air conditioning always makes me feel better," Dean offered, making Roman chuckle. It was a little unbearable outside and Seth nodded quickly, standing up and letting Roman guide him inside. 

Even as he felt like he was breaking down, Seth knew he still didn't want to talk about any of the money issues he was facing. He slumped into the living room couch and Dean and Roman both sat right next to him, sighing slightly as Seth hastened to dab at his face and beard with a tissue. An unfiltered conversation was just going to bring up a lot of questions he didn't have the answers to and Seth really didn't want to make it obvious that he wasn't in control of the situation. Roman tipped him against his chest and Seth took a deep breath, smelling the faint scent of beer and body wash. Dean touched his leg awkwardly, like he was making the best of not having Seth's hair to play with.

"I… don't know what to say…" Seth said quietly, rubbing his eye and looking at the light moisture of tears on his hand. "I just… it's weird that he's gone and now I'm back here…" he swallowed hard. "I want to be here, I w-wanna to be with you guys and all… but my family…" 

Roman nodded and rubbed his head. Seth just heaved a breath and stared out across the house where the chickens were gathering by the sliding glass door to observe. Surely he didn't have to go on at length about his grandfather, it was just grief, pure and simple. 

"Do you… feel like you left too soon?" Roman tried, rubbing his shoulder and encouraging his conversation. "How did your family take it?"

"I needed to come back," Seth shrugged, sniffing hard. "Work… and shit… My family… I dunno. It's just… weird not having grandparents anymore I guess."

"They're still there," Roman offered, giving him a little squeeze. Seth had to stop himself from rolling his eyes a little, but he knew that his boyfriend was just trying to help. "Even when you think you can't talk to them… I dunno. This'll sound cheesy but sometimes it makes you feel better if you just talk to them out loud. Say the things you want to say to them."

"What happened to your grandma?" Dean asked, probably sensing Seth's indifference to anything that was even remotely unscientific. 

"She died a few years ago. Cancer," Seth explained, swallowing hard. "So… my grandpa was all I had."

The thought of his biological father sat for a moment at the forefront of his mind, but Seth didn't dwell on it. The picture that he had found in his grandfather's possession was still sitting at the bottom of his suitcase with all of the rest of his laundry he still needed to put away. It was perhaps true that he did have some kind of grandparents out there somewhere that maybe even knew he existed, but they weren't family in Seth's mind, and he wasn't burning with any ambition to find them.

"Is there anything we can do?" Roman asked, running his forefinger warmly behind Seth's ear even as he shook his head. "I'm serious though, obviously this is just gunna suck for a little bit, but if you want us to help you… I dunno. We can do the laundry for a week or so." Roman looked at Dean for ideas. "We could find something fun to do, if you just want a lil' distracting or something."

"We could go workout tomorrow," Dean offered, shrugging. "Go to the lil' hole in the wall gym. Or Uce's place."

"I want that," Seth said automatically, Roman and Dean snickered and Seth managed a little smile, pushing a length of hair behind his ear. "I need to text Cesaro too… he probably thinks I fell of the face of the earth. Maybe if he's feeling okay-"

"Nope, just us," Dean interrupted, giving Seth's thigh a light spank. "Can't cheat on us with your exercise wife."

"Well," Roman cut in quickly. Seth honestly didn't care about the cheating rib, he was too busy blowing his nose into a tissue. "Just… reach out to us if you need it babe. Not like I got anything going on till late May anyway. Then I'll be real busy again."

"How was Easter though?" Seth asked, rolling around a little in Roman's embrace so he was more comfortable. He didn't want to talk about his grandfather anymore. On his back, with his head in Roman's lap and his leg's across Dean's, it was easier to hold a conversation. "Was it… hard with everything going on and all the driving and stuff?"

"Not that bad," Roman shrugged, looking to Dean. "We tried to get out of Orlando as soon as we could manage and gunned it all the way up to Tallahassee before we got food again. Jimmy and Jey's place is a little on the like, west side of Pen."

"They were so ready to go when we got in," Dean laughed, leaning back into the sofa and mimicking the cadence of Roman's excited cousin. "BIG UCE GUNNA GET SILLY HUH?"

"Yeah," Roman blushed, "Except I'm an old ass man now. Had to explain to them about how I was there to sleep, not drink."

"Did everything go okay with that though? Didn't one of them have some legal issue or something?" Seth asked, watching Roman's cheek twitch.

"...Yeah… I think he has some court date thing next month," he mumbled, pausing the fidgeting of his fingers in Seth's hair. "Did I tell you about that? It really wasn't a big deal, it's just if he gets another one they're going to give him whiskey plates I think."

Seth's whole body went numb as he realized Roman _hadn't_ told him about his cousin's DUI. He'd only known because Seth had gone through his phone and read the conversations between Roman and his sister. Apparently, this didn't occur to Roman as a possibility and Dean looked unfazed, smoothing the hair on Seth's leg's flat. 

"Y-yeah, you said something about it," Seth lied quickly. "On the houseboat I thought."

"Well, it wasn't a big deal. I think Dad said something to Jey about it, but he's used to it." Roman scratched his nose and Seth bit his lip, praying Roman didn't sense anything strange about what he'd let slip. "Well… anyways we went to church the next day and then did Easter stuff with my brother and sister's kids."

"I got a photo," Dean snorted, scrolling through his phone before handing the device to Seth, who held it over his face. It was a picture of Roman, lightly dozing on a deck chair with a heap of plastic eggs stacked on his lap. One of the younger kids, Milo or Tamar was sitting on the patio with plastic rabbit ears on and a basket in his own lap, grinning.

"Nice," Seth said, handing the phone back quickly and relaxing as Roman touched the back of his neck, making his spine tingle.

"It was a good trip though," Roman said softly, "Much less drama than last time."

"For us," Dean amended. "Your brother got it."

"Barely," Roman snorted. Seth blinked, confused and Roman snickered, drawing in a breath enthusiastically to explain the story. "And they ALMOST tried to get on my case but Summer  _ reminded _ them that you were gone and that it would be unfair."

"Me?" Seth said, confused. 

"Yeah, like-" Roman laughed, "Here's how it works. If my mom or dad is pissed, they have to throw it at one of us, and obviously since my boyfriend's grandparent passes away, I got a get out of jail free card."

"...huh…" Seth mumbled, slightly disgusted.

"Well it was somethin' about how…. Your sister's family planned a party without them? Or something?" Dean said, scrunching up his face in an effort to remember.

"Mandy planned her baby shower to be while my parents were on vacation and so there was some dispute about…" Roman sighed "....the logistics of two baby showers. Basically my mom was treating Rosey like he wasn't there the whole time, which is the most she'd ever do to get on his case. Dad said something to him at dinner about how the second party would be better at their place because they have a bigger grill…"

"Your brother is such a motherfucker," Dean laughed, clearly remembering something that Seth hadn't been witness to. 

"I want to try that sometime, just blow them off like that." Roman laughed, quickly explaining for Seth's benefit. "My dad would tell him something and he'd just agree like 'oh yeah, probably,' and then just keep eating. So funny."

"Why don't you?" Seth asked, watching Roman's smirk go from a smile to an anxiously clenched jaw. 

"I think the last time I tried to sass my dad he grabbed me by the ear and rammed me up against a wall," Roman said shrugging fast. "Even at my biggest, I was never as big as Rosey."

"You don't think you could beat your dad?" Dean asked. Seth let out a choked noise, disturbed.

"Only at football," Roman said, patting Seth's head with a sort of finality. "Anyways, you missed some great food, but we brought home your easter basket. Or at least, the stuff in it."

"My easter basket?" Seth blinked. He hadn't received an Easter basket since he was eighteen or so and living with his mom. Sure, he bought jelly beans most years and just ate them leisurely, but the pageantry of the holiday was for children. 

"Wine and cheese," Dean said, pointing over to the kitchen. "That's what was in mine anyway. And chocolate." 

Seth rolled off the couch in a sort of sloppy fashion, curious to see what he'd been gifted. Roman and Dean followed after him and Kevin eagerly scooted into the room, under the assumption that he might be fed.

"I just put it in the fridge, I never know which wines are supposed to be chilled and whatever." Roman said, pulling out a plastic bag and handing it to Seth. "I drank all mine the night of."

"It was a lil' bottle though," Dean said, taking the opportunity to grab an ice cream sandwich from the freezer. "That shit was really good, I barely felt it the next day."

"Oh wow," Seth said, dumping the contents of the bag onto the counter top and investigating what had likely been assembled under the assumption Seth was coming to Pensacola. Little scraps of golden plastic easter grass were clinging to the slightly moist wrappers of rich, dark chocolate bars, Lindt truffles and plastic wrapped cheese nibbles. A Starbucks gift card and a bottle of some dark and fancy looking wine were also included, along with a sweet envelope, that had been addressed with  _ SETH _ in a black, archival pen.

"That's very nice of your family," Seth said, opening the envelope and finding a hallmark card with cartoony rabbits. Roman nodded and cracked open another beer, leaning on the counter next to Dean. 

"Yeah, they mentioned something about us coming up for my birthday too, but I said we already had some plans. We might need to run up there for Mandy's shower…" he sighed hard, "We'll just see. I ain' going to two parties, so I'll let them figure out where I'm most needed."

"We got our photos back too," Dean said, watching Seth put the gifts back into the plastic bag and falter at a secondary envelope full of polaroids that had been sitting on the counter top already. "From the boat."

"Oh cool!" Seth said, abandoning a Lindt truffle momentarily to pull out the stack of developed photos. He'd hardly even looked at any of the snapshots he'd taken on his phone from the vacation, too consumed with his grandfather to make any sense of his time in the Keys. It had been years since he'd taken pictures with a disposable camera and he was eager to see what they'd captured.

"Most of them… didn't turn out." Dean said, laughing at Seth's confused face as he shuffled through the first few photos that appeared to be dark shadows. With the advent of modern technology, it surely hadn't occurred to most of them that traditional photography required specific lighting. Familiar static outlines of the three of them were posed with the fuzzy backdrop of their luxurious watercraft. After five bad takes, Seth grinned at some outdoor shots from their first day boating.

"Those were really nice." Roman nodded, looking over Seth's shoulder. Seth nodded, remembering how much fun they'd had. His spine tingled, recalling how warm and bright everything had been. It was strange to see pictures of himself from just a short time ago, unaware of the fact that his life would be changed so dramatically in just a few short days.

"The one with the manatee didn't come out that good," Dean said, watching Seth frown at what appeared to be a lumpy rock in the water. "If I had the money, I'd probably get like a nice camera or something."

"You'd have to learn how to use it," Seth chuckled, holding up another poorly lit photo that Dean had taken of Roman in the water, late in the evening and shadowy. "The chickens would be very well documented, I'm sure."

Luckily perhaps, the photo of the three of them at the southernmost point marker in Key West hadn't come out at all, barely visible in the dying light of the day. Seth hardly remembered his sloppy display of affection for Roman after they'd meandered around the streets in the picturesque little town. It had been such a strange night, and at the end of the trip, both he and Dean were so sun kissed, they looked pink in most of their pictures.

"We'll have to do that again some time," Roman said as Seth finished looking at the stack and gazed sweetly to both of his boyfriends. "Had a lot of fun." 

"Yeah, definitely," Seth said, embracing them both individually. "It was."

That night, Seth slept better than he had in a week, helped along by some passionate lovemaking from Roman and Dean, each occupying his ass for the amount of time his knee allowed him to be rambunctious and mouthy, putting everything else out of his mind. Laying in the sheets, feeling blank and calm, he resolved to call his mother before the fundraiser and hash out whatever was necessary. Roman and Dean didn't seem to suspect anything was wrong, past the obvious lonesomeness of losing a family member, and Seth felt better about his situation as he watched his boyfriend's get ready for bed around him. Dean took a quick rinse in the shower and Roman disposed of a beer can by the bed, shamelessly striding around without any clothes, looking thick and sweaty from their activities. 

As Seth laid in bed and followed them carefully with his eyes, he was positive of the fact that he couldn't leave them, not without a fight. Seth wanted to close his grandfather's estate and move back to Iowa, but not without these two men that meant so much to him. As impossible as their weird relationship was, there wasn't anything that said three men couldn't take over the property. Perhaps they'd raise some eyebrows, and surely they could hit some snag with all the legal jargon that went into home ownership and estate management. Seth had only lived with these men for about two months and things would be vastly different in another state, but still, the opportunity was too good to pass up.

"Gunna be hot tomorrow," Roman mumbled, wrinkling his nose at the weather broadcast on his phone as he plugged the device in and settled on his side of the bed. Seth scooted closer, wordlessly, his mind crammed so far inward he'd hardly heard. Roman would probably love to commit to a space as large as the farm, somewhere he could spread out and have a little bit of nature on all sides. 

"Did the dog go out?" Dean called from across the house, from the kitchen where he was getting water. Seth nodded in Roman's arms and Roman tilted his head away from Seth's ear so he wouldn't deafen him.

"Yeah!" he hollered back, patting Seth's back and setting his phone down. Dean would love the farm too, probably the most excited about riding around on four wheelers and snowmobiles and doing the sorts of activities that were difficult in a city. 

"You good?" Roman asked. Seth opened his eyes again, near sleep. "Did you need a Xanax or anything?"

"I'm good, thanks," Seth mumbled through his nose, glancing up at his boyfriend sweetly. "I love you. A lot. I wanna be with you for a long time."

"I wanna be with you too," Roman said happily, maybe a little startled by Seth's admission of tacking on something that sounded more serious than usual. "Wanna be there for you. All the time."

Seth hummed. He fell asleep shortly after Dean came to bed, relaxed, even if he was a little over warm. Kevin hopped up to join them, and the house hummed with central airflow.

* * *

"Did it all go okay?" Sasha asked, clearly split between her desire to talk to Seth and the fact that a large group of boys were tossing each other around in the shallows of the pool. He watched as Alexa pulled a face and Sasha nodded across the pool to her. She blew her whistle harshly, making Seth's hairs stand on end.

"This is your warning, okay?" She said, pointing specifically to the tallest boy who'd just tossed his friend. "No horseplay."

"We did it last time! Nobody cared then!" The boy said, pre-pubescent voice crackling sharply. Sasha sighed hard, ready to explain the rules, but Seth cut in, annoyed for her. 

"We'll pull your membership information and call your parents if you can't behave." Seth said sharply, watching the boys frown angrily. "Find something to do that's safe."

"I can handle this myself," Sasha mumbled, rolling her eyes but clearly glad the boys calmed down. "Anyways-"

"It was all okay, as good as it could be I guess." Seth said, watching the boys gather noodles to make a raft. Alexa sat in the opposite lifeguard chair, looking bored. The boys were the only ones in P-pool. "The service was fine and my mom seemed to handle it all okay."

"That's good, that's really rough to come off a vacation and just have all that happen to you." Sasha agreed, "After the fundraiser we should go out or something."

"Yeah," Seth nodded, not really thinking of anything specific. He was supposed to be power scrubbing the adaptive pool tile, but AJ and Miz were both upstairs and Kevin had said something about changing the wheels on the scrubber anyway. "The house sitting go okay?"

"Yeah, it was awesome." Sasha said, plopping down in her own lifeguard chair and flicking her violet hair behind her ear. "I never thought I'd dream of home ownership, but that place was pretty sick! Me and Bay made homemade ice cream the first night and and ate our way through it for a few days. Kevin is such a sweet pup too! We'd totally do that again for you guys if you want."

"Well, we appreciate it for sure." Seth said, stiffening up as he saw Hunter and Stephanie come through the doors and survey the pool for a moment, clip boards in hand. Seth knew he could afford to stop and chat with Sasha if he wanted, but he was aware that he probably should get back to work. With the park open now, the staff were stretched a little more thin and just as he was about to tell Sasha he was going to keep moving, Hunter motioned for him to come over.

"Oh, uh," Seth mumbled, trying to look cool and unaffected.

"Can you bring us more towels later?" Sasha said, sensing that he was leaving. "We'll probably run out soon."

"Y-yeah," Seth said, striding across the tile to see what his boss wanted and giving her a short wave. Stephanie grinned her usual intimidating smile and Hunter looked mildly grouchy as always. 

"Did you have a sec? We wanted to discuss something with you," Hunter asked, looking to Seth seriously. Seth didn't hesitate but rather nodded dumbly, following after his bosses while the boys in the shallow end began a splash war. Ducking into the pool office and feeling the cool rush of the colder air, Seth sat on one of the rubbermaid bins containing the CPR dummies, watching his two bosses set their things down and turn to Seth in their chairs with the utmost attention. After the embarrassment of AJ tattling on him, Seth was always a little on edge around his superiors, sure that he was in trouble.

"So, we have a few more little things to tackle before the fundraiser," Stephanie said, leaning in and looking at her clipboard carefully. "We have some signage that was actually printed at a company just down the road and we were wondering if you could go and pick that up for us around 1 today."

"Oh, sure," Seth said, feeling a little relieved and accepting the key to the company Cadillac that Hunter was extending to him. Seth waited for additional information, sure that there was something else that they wanted. Hunter sat back in his chair, looking from his wife to Seth carefully and Stephanie adjusted her dangling earring from being caught in her hair. 

"You've done a good job handling a lot of our little errands lately and this is probably the easiest we've been able to finish all these tasks in several years," she said, staring at Seth hard and smiling in a sort of motherly way. "I don't want to say it was a _good_ thing that we've had you away from the lifeguard stand, but it's become a lot easier to handle these larger events and some day to day operations with your help, Seth."

"Oh, well, thanks," Seth said, grinning. "I'm just sorry I had all that last minute family emergency stuff happening. I didn't want to stick you guys with that so last minute."

"Well, you couldn't help that," Hunter snorted, shrugging. "These things happen. You weren't planning on taking any other big trips or anything though were you? I'm sure the Keys were amazing."

"Nah, not right now," Seth said, wondering why exactly both of his bosses seemed to want to know what his calendar was. Thinking back, he had filled out his availability on time and hadn't asked for any additional time off. 

"Well," Stephanie said, holding her intense gaze. "Hunter and I have been thinking for some time now about the possibility of creating a new position at White Water that covers some of the events planning and functions that we've previously handled, in addition to some tasks that tend to fall through the cracks between the different departments…"

Seth's heart leapt with both confusion and excitement.  _ Was he being promoted? _   


"It's a salaried position, and there would still be an hours requirement for teaching and guarding." Hunter began, tapping his foot and swiveling a little in his seat. "You still haven't gotten your WSI yet and we'd want to talk about when you could get back on the deck to guard, but for the most part, we'd build a schedule around some administrative responsibilities and hands on time in the pool."

"That's awesome!" Seth said, feeling tingly and light. "I'm absolutely game, 100%."

"Excellent," Hunter said. Stephanie clicked her pen and wrote something down on her clipboard. "We still need to figure out all the specifics of that. We're thinking it's best to wait until the fundraiser is all wrapped up, so it may take a little bit of time-"

"That's fine," Seth said quickly, sitting up straighter on his improvised seat. "Do you think I'll have my own office?"

"We'll… see…" Hunter said, looking disinclined to agree to anything too quickly. "We want to get an exact idea of all of your responsibilities outlined first and see… if it would come to that."

"Absolutely," Seth said, biting back his tongue as he hastened to inquire about additional compensation. "Well, I'm just flattered you wanted to ask me about it!"

"You're a great worker Seth," Stephanie beamed, setting down her clipboard and nodding fast. "We both see a lot of potential with you. Should we go ahead and get this figured out then?" 

"Y-yes, for sure," Seth said. "I'd love to do this."

He left the office with a spring in his step, excited to tell Sasha and his boyfriends about what Hunter and Stephanie had offered him. It gave him a boost of confidence, especially after he was jilted from the weirdness of the guy named Joe that had made him look stupid in front of his boss. If Seth could make a little more money and feel more secure at work, it was all the better. Right? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Artwork by RubyBelle! They did the art for the end of Part 1 and I was really happy I got to work with them again. Go get a commission from them! They're great! 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed it and I hope this chapter was a good pick me up in the continuous string of sad things that's happened. Let me know if you liked this chapter <3


	29. View From Below

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seth contemplates his new job and meets with Cesaro. What’s going on under the radar?

Striding fast out of P-pool and getting halfway to the front lobby was all the time if took for Seth to stop for a moment, thinking hard on what had just happened. To stall for time, he aimlessly turned left, walking toward the adult men’s locker rooms and keeping his gaze forward. **  
**

Hunter and Stephanie had offered him a more permanent position. Salaried. But Seth didn’t have the details yet. As of right now, nothing was certain. Though he was sure he wasn’t going to pack up and move within the week or probably even over April, but it was difficult to say how much time he’d spend in Orlando is his grandfather’s estate was finalized and Roman and Dean miraculously agreed to leave. Would it be a terrible thing to do? To be promoted and leave his bosses high and dry?

Pushing the door open to the men’s locker room and walking to one of the bathroom stalls, Seth thought immediately to the massive amount of money that made up his inheritance. He didn’t want to assume anything at that point, but still, he was pretty sure his resume wouldn’t be nearly as important if he had that money. It was tempting to let his mind wander wildly to a much more relaxed state of being, but he reeled himself back in, biting his lip.

For now, Seth had to be smart. His heart was still beating fast from the excitement of the meeting but he took a deep breath and plopped down to sit on a toilet, just to steady himself. It was a good thing his boss wanted to promote him, he could use more money. At the end of the day, he probably would take the job. It was just another thing Seth didn’t want to talk about yet, not until he knew what was happening. He sighed hard as the person in the stall next to him flushed the toilet and walked away, sure that he didn’t want to hide everything that was happening in his life from his boyfriends, but he didn’t want to feel stupid for taking a job and then completely dumping it if he was going to be moving.

It was too much to consider and automatically, Seth whipped out his phone and found Cesaro’s contact info. It had been ages since the men had talked, but it was at least worth a shot. Sure that he didn’t want to have a phone conversation in a toilet stall, Seth got back up again and quickly texted his friend before he made his way to the sink for the sake of habit.

**Hey man are u busy this weekend? Its been a bit** he typed out, quickly pressing send and feeling marginally better. Cesaro was a neutral party, and it helped that he wasn’t currently at work, present for all the other dramatic minutiae of such a large facility.

“Eyes forward! Coming through!” Miz bellowed as Seth nearly walked into him. He started, quickly side stepping out of the way as his annoying coworker strutted past him, rolling a huge container of floatables down the hallway at a questionable speed. Seth’s knee twinged slightly and he put his phone in his pocket, resigned to finish his power scrubbing duties before the late afternoon rush came and swim lessons got hectic. Perhaps it was the strangeness of the day’s events of the sheer absurdity of it, but when Seth went down to the basement mop sink and found Dean crouching by it, he probably sounded more curt than he meant.

“What are you doing?” Seth scoffed, watching his boyfriend sit on the dirty lip of the mop sink and fidget mindlessly with one of the peeling stickers on the front of the power scrubber. Cool as ever, Dean barely reacted, toes wiggling in his flip flops and eyebrows invisible under his hair.

“You weren’t outside earlier, it’s hot anyways,” he mumbled. “Kev said you were doin’ this or somethin’.”

“I was… about to start,” Seth muttered, looking around to see if anyone was watching them. At least for the moment, they were alone in the stuffy, partially lit room. “I was in the bathroom…”

“Mmm,” Dean said, standing up and moving aside so Seth could access the machine. It was totally weird, but if Dean wasn’t smoking anymore, there really wasn’t any reason for him to wander around outside in the heat of the sun. Taking his time to grab the cleaning solution and measure out a cup as Kevin had showed him, Seth wondered if Dean might have had something on his mind. His head was still buzzing about his job, but Seth was still sure that he didn’t want to discuss it at the moment. Among other things.

“I might have to guard in the park in the evenings,” Dean said, pouting a little and picking up a mop handle that was hanging from the wall. “Randy said they needed another hand… Unless they hire someone else after the fundraiser or somethin’.”

Seth hummed, setting down the bottle of solution and analyzing the water level on the machine. “Suppose we’ll have to take two cars?” He proposed. “Uce’s been kinda going out of his way anyways. To pick us up I mean.”

“Yeah,” Dean said, facing the wall and kicking a small rock that was on the floor. Seth rolled up his sleeves and wiped his brow. He didn’t really want to be in the basement, but he couldn’t really take five in the breakroom with the work he still had to finish. Dean paused as well, as though he wasn’t really sure what to say or how to say it. The conversation was pretty meaningless, but there was something hanging in the air, out of their reach.

“You notice anything about Uce lately?” Dean asked, clearing his throat a little mid sentence like it was dry. Seth paused, pushing back a length of frizzy hair that couldn’t quite fit in his bun.

“Like what?” He asked, thinking hard and feeling anxious. “Did something happen over Easter?”

“Just… been drinking and stuff,” Dean said, not facing Seth. “Don’t wanna be a cop about it… just. I dunno if I’m supposed to worry or say somethin’.”

Seth thought for a moment, thinking back to when he’d come across his boyfriends in January, after his last trip to Iowa. Back then, both of his boyfriend’s had been in a much more difficult headspace, but Roman’s drinking had been the most frustrating. Of the three, Roman probably drank the most on a regular basis. Where Dean could probably out drink him with beers on a single night, Roman was much more inclined to drink habitually. It was something they’d discussed before, but with everything going on in his life at the moment, Seth had barely processed it. He’d also made a fool of himself with alcohol on the houseboat anyway, so he didn’t feel like he had much ground to stand on and preach.

“I don’t care,” Dean said quickly, shrugging and turning to put the mop handle back on the hook. “It’s not a big deal.”

“It’s not like, healthy.” Seth said, crossing his arms and looking at Dean. It was perplexing to see his boyfriend engaged where he might have usually been disconnected, but Seth didn’t want to discourage it. “Did he drink a lot over Easter?”

“We kinda all did, I dunno,” Dean said, looking at the ground. “Forget I mentioned it, it’s fine.”

“Nah, I mean…” Seth sighed, really wishing they could get out of the basement and back into air conditioning. The air was thick and the light kept flickering. “Let’s just… keep an eye on it. He doesn’t seem stressed out or anything, does he?”

“I don’t think so,” Dean said, shrugging again. He blinked and licked his lips, as though trying some sort of script. “How are you doing?”

“Me? I’m fine,” Seth said, unable to stop himself from chuckling. “How’re you?”

“’M fine,” Dean said, blinking. He grinned a little and Seth came closer, sure that he’d hear any footsteps from a distance. The light flickered again and Dean wet his lips like he was anticipating something.

“Wish I didn’t learn my lesson,” Seth muttered darkly, squeezing Dean’s thigh and planting a kiss on his matted forehead. His work shirt was sticking to him strangely with sweat, but Dean looked soft and happy. “Get outta here and let me do my job, Ambrose.”

“Okay Rollins,” Dean said, snarking his name and bouncing onto the balls of his feet again. In his pocket, Seth felt his phone buzz and he pawed it through his pants, sure it was just a text. Dean made a kissing noise as he hopped away at a light jog and Seth took a moment to let him go, sure that he didn’t want Kevin or Hunter, or worse AJ, seeing them leaving secluded areas together.

**How about tonight?**  Cesaro texted him back. **I’m busy the next few days with PT and Sara :)**

Seth smirked, wiping sweat from his forehead and listening as the water heater turned on, humming loud from the boiler room. It was too easy to imagine Cesaro’s ridiculously sweet expression, thinking of his new girlfriend. It had been ages since they’d seen each other and Seth really wanted to go out with his friend. But in a hurry, he recalled the discussion that Seth had had with Dean and Roman the night before about possibly going to a gym. Nobody had mentioned it that morning… but Dean had definitely seemed alert enough to workout after their shift.

In the service elevator to the top floor, Seth’s phone buzzed again and he looked down, feeling his heart rate ratchet up again with a text from his mother. The elevator dinged and he sighed hard, pushing the scrubber through the doors and flush with the wall so he could examine his phone.

**Did you get the executor notices? Let me know ASAP! Love mom**

**Yes** Seth texted back quickly, feeling enormously guilty for leaving his mother out of the loop, and yet unable to properly explain his reasoning. Back in Iowa, his mother was probably waiting for him to get his shit together, unable to proceed without his own consent for the operation. However, his paranoia dug at him again and he thought morbidly to the idea of his family trying to take his money in the fine print of the will. But as soon as he considered it, Seth blinked hard, trying to assess his fears honestly. He’d never imagined a time in his life where he couldn’t trust his mother, but with so much money on the line, Seth wasn’t sure if he could trust anyone.

**I think I want to get a lawyer or something, just so I know what I’m looking at** Seth messaged back.  **Or I want to call that lawyer we talked to, Is his number on all those documents?**

It was a rather stupid question as Seth could just check his email, but he was at work anyway and obviously neglecting his duties by dividing his attention. Down the hall he could hear a group of very small children singing songs and yelling, their voices echoing off the hallways. There was still lots to do, and he pocketed his phone fast and dug in. As he walked fast behind the power scrubber, leaning into the machine and doing his best not to slip in the slight trail of moisture, Seth considered the holes in his knowledge and his mental state since he’d returned. Of all the things he wanted to do that night, a meeting with Cesaro sounded best. Seth desperately needed to hash this out and tell someone about what was happening.

**Yes it is** His mother replied to his text, after he checked it about twenty minutes later.  **Call him as soon as you can.**

**Okay thanks mom** Seth responded, immediately returning to his conversation with Cesaro and looking around tentatively.  **Yeah lets make tonight work.**

* * *

Seth felt a little guilty for flaking out on his boyfriends, but the more he texted Cesaro in the lead up to their meeting, the more he was sure of his decision. During the time he dumped the water from the power scrubber and changed out of his work uniform, the two men messaged each other back and forth over the phone. Apparently, Cesaro was trying to be frugal in between hanging out with Sara, but had a turkey loaf he was interested in sharing if Seth wanted to stay for dinner.

Re-tying his bun and making his way to the front, Seth pursed his lips as he saw Dean perk up from where he was sitting in the lobby. Sunglasses already fixed to his face, he shuffled to his feet, swinging his bag over his shoulder.

“I bet Uce’s gym’ll be all busy since it’s big,” he began without any hesitation. “My place’ll be good if you want. I just wanna grab a bite quick.”

“Yeah, about that,” Seth said, hastening through the door his boyfriend was holding open. The day was unbearably hot and as soon as they were outside, it was a race to get to the Jeep. “I uh… I was texting Cesaro and the only time we could hang out would be tonight… so I think I’m gunna take a raincheck.”

“What?” Dean raised an eyebrow. “Man, I was getting all jacked to lift…”

“You can still go,” Seth snorted, eagerly tossing his bag into the hatchback and tossing his body inside. “I just… I haven’t seen him in forever.”

“What’s up?” Roman asked from the front seat, snacking from a bag of pumpkin seeds that was sitting in his lap. Dean mumbled something inaudible and Seth tilted the backseat fan grid toward his face, feeling shivers down his spine. If his boyfriends were going to be mad at him, Seth wasn’t going to hear about it. They only saw each other constantly.

“I’m gunna go see Cesaro tonight for dinner,” Seth explained. “I know we like… talked about doing something, but the only time we can meet this week is tonight… so. What with his doctor shit and the fundraiser on friday.”

“Mmmmm,” Roman hummed, looking behind him in order to make sure they weren’t about to be clipped by a passing vehicle. “Suit yourself.”

“I prolly will go workout… do something,” Dean said quietly, looking through the window. The rest of the car ride was a little awkward and no one talked much as they idled in traffic for a few minutes.

**Im home now, come over whenever you’d like** Cesaro texted him. Seth stared out of his own window, trying to think of the best way to get to his friends house and if he had any gas in the tank of the Cadillac.

A quick shower and a change, and Seth deliberately tried to keep out of his boyfriend’s way, skirting around the area of the living room where Dean plopped down, and not making eye contact with Roman in the kitchen as the man was staring into the fridge, pensively. Tossing on a snapback and sliding his phone and wallet in the back pocket of a pair of cargo shorts, Seth thought he could hear his boyfriend’s talking from the other room. But instead, he focused on his dog, who seemed confused about the lack of affection he was receiving now that Seth was home.

“Need to buy chicken feed this weekend,” Roman was saying to Dean as Seth walked past. “You think you could get some at the farmers market?”

“Mmyeah, just remind me or somethin’.” Dean mumbled, watching Seth’s progress to the shoes. He hated how awkward it felt. Couldn’t he leave the house without feeling like he was in trouble?

“Have fun,” Roman mumbled, gesturing to Seth with his beer and striding over to send him off. Kevin jingled around the entryway as though he was going for a walk and Seth nodded quickly, letting Roman kiss him on the cheek.

“I won’t be long,” Seth said, waving to Dean. “See you guys.”

It wasn’t enough to put him in a bad mood, but Seth hated feeling like he was in the wrong. Dean’s face as he left hadn’t been particularly mopey or annoyed, and Seth was sure that the man’s evening would be just fine without acting on whatever lose plans they’d discussed. Of the three, Seth felt safe in assuming that he was having it the hardest at the moment and when he finally got around to explaining the situation, the other two would surely understand.

“Too fuckin’ hot,” he griped to himself, wiping his forehead and hating how obscenely warm his vehicle was, cooking in the sun all day. As Seth drove toward the highway in the direction of Cesaro’s condo, he thought more and more about how nice it would be to live in the Midwest again, seeing the trees change and wearing light sweaters.

Nearly there he texted at a red light, almost taking a wrong turn as he forgot the pattern of the strange labyrinth that was Cesaro’s neighborhood. Just as he was rolling up to the visitor parking area, Seth swore out loud, remembering that he’d had a gift for his friend from his vacation. The bag of coffee was still sitting in his bedroom, tossed onto the dresser after he’d hurriedly unpacked.

However, It didn’t matter as he saw his friend, eagerly awaiting his arrival by the front door to the condominium. Seth didn’t have a lot of friends in his life, and he had even less that seemed wholly unperturbed to go so long without contact without a shred of awkwardness. Cesaro was the exception, totally cool to pick up wherever they had left off.

“What’s up?” Seth called, locking his car and watching Cesaro shuffle his weight between his two feet awkwardly. His friend was wearing a pair of mesh workout shorts and a tank top with his arm in a sling, smiling as wide as ever.

“Oh not much,” Cesaro said, quickly opening the front door and letting Seth inside. “Trying my best not to melt.”

“It’s abysmal,” Seth agreed, relieved to feel the air conditioning inside. It was the same neat, tidy and minimal space Seth had always seen it. Zoe the cat was laying on her back in front of an oscillating fan and the house smelled like the promised turkey loaf.

“It has been a very lazy day,” Cesaro said, shutting the door and shuffling to the living room. “I will read a book until I get stir crazy from sitting, then I think of taking a walk, but then it is so disgusting out… ” he sighed, looking to Seth with honest adoration. “Thank you for coming, how have you been?”

“Okay, it’s no problem!” Seth nodded, sitting down as Cesaro went to presumably grab him a drink. He talked louder so he could be heard. “It’s been forever, plus… I mean, I nearly went crazy when I was stuck at home with my knee. I get it.”

“But how was the trip?” Cesaro called, returning in a moment with a glass of ice water. Gratefully, Seth took it, thinking hard. He hadn’t told his friend anything yet. “When did you get back?”

“We were done in the Keys last week,” Seth said, blinking hard and trying to remember. He threaded his fingers through his beard, thinking of the best way to explain all of it. “But… literally right as I was getting off the boat, I got this crazy text from my mom about how my grandpa died…” Cesaro’s eyes widened and Seth heaved a breath, nodding. “Yeah… so I literally came back here, flew to Iowa and went to the funeral over Easter and then I was back on Tuesday.”

“That’s terrible,” Cesaro said, fixing Seth with a look of concern. “I was a little puzzled that you did not text me… but I have been preoccupied as well.”

“Yeah, no, obviously nothing personal,” Seth said, clearing his throat. “I’m still just like… reeling from all of this, it’s so crazy.”

“How close were you with your grandfather?” his friend asked. Seth drank from his water and tried to relax a little. He felt more anxious than anything, but was sure he needed to go through this conversation with someone.

“Not as much as I would have liked recently,” Seth admitted, setting down his glass and picking his fingernails. “When I was really little he was like another parent, but I think I might have told you about his memory problems… once I moved away and his wife died, he sort of spiraled I guess.”

“That’s a shame,” Cesaro said, sympathetic. “I had to really make sure to see my grandparents when I went back home. They are getting very old now so I am always worried something similar will happen where I am far away and they pass away.”

“It sucked,” Seth concluded, “I loved him a lot, but now we’re dealing with his estate and it’s a huge, complicated fucking mess.”

Just saying a summarization of the matter felt relieving and Seth sighed hard as Cesaro nodded, patting the sofa and trying to encourage Zoe to join him on the furniture. The cat just stared, unable to comprehend the request.

“You have a large family all vying for his things?” Cesaro asked, looking to him seriously. Seth shook his head.

“No… uh… it turns out my grandpa had a small fortune and basically left it all to me if I take over his property.” Seth said, nodding hard as Cesaro’s eyes widened. “Yeah, right?”

“Well, that is maybe a good problem?” Cesaro laughed. “No one in your family is mad about that?”

“I don’t know, but it’s definitely freaked me out.” Seth said hurriedly, slumping back in his chair. Cesaro often made him feel like he was at a doctor’s office. “I have no idea when I have to leave here and move in, and I really don’t want to leave Roman and Dean.” He pushed his hat back, running his hands through his still damp hair and closing his eyes. “I feel like… they’d freak out if I told them or maybe… I don’t know…” Seth wet his lips. “Money is the worst.”

“You have not told them?” Cesaro asked, eyes widening further. Seth just shook his head again, feeling stupid.

“How the fuck would you tell someone that?” Seth asked, gesturing to the air. “Okay, what if you like, won the lottery and a house. What do you think would happen if you told your girlfriend?”

“Well,” Cesaro laughed hard, turning pink. “It would change things, yes.”

“Yeah, and like, Roman’s just starting school again and Dean’s doing this knitting thing on the weekends now. Oh-” Seth pointed at his friend, smiling anxiously. “And fuckin’ Hunter wants to promote me. Offered me a job today.”

“Do you want it?” Cesaro asked, incredulous. Seth’s just raised his arms in the air wildly.

“I don’t know! Nothing makes any sense! I think I could maybe deal with this stuff over the course of a year maybe, but like, what the fuck am I supposed to do when it happens all at once?” He laughed nervously again, watching as Cesaro sighed, drinking from his water, deep in thought. “Like, no matter what I do, I’m pretty sure it’s all going to fall to shit. They don’t wanna leave here… Roman’s family is all… weird… I don’t know.”

“You have a lot on your plate,” Cesaro agreed. The alarm for the oven dinged loudly and his friend eased himself onto his tall legs again. “There certainly is not a guarantee of anything, but I think it is obvious that this is very difficult. You do not think your boys will be understanding?”

“Roman’ll probably lose his  _mind_ ,” Seth said flippantly, following his friend into the kitchen. “I dunno about Dean. Lately he’s been a lot more talkative and stuff, but he’s still… like…”

“Volatile?” Cesaro laughed. Seth just shrugged, helping his friend grab plates from the cupboard. On the counter, a salad had already been prepared and by the salt shakers, Seth could see a little polaroid photo of Sara and Cesaro, grinning in a photo booth, looking adorable.

“How’s your love life though?” Seth asked, sure that he shouldn’t monopolize the conversation, even if he wanted to. “How’s the gal?”

“I  _love_ her.” Cesaro said, deadly serious and turning to Seth with a sort of childlike excitement. “I am serious. She… she has made me very happy and I think I have made her happy too. After my shoulder… well… I don’t feel nearly as… incapable at the moment. I am enjoying my time.”

“Well that’s good,” Seth smiled, happy for his friend’s fortune. “I’m glad you guys got to link up.”

“Oh yes, it’s been wonderful,” Cesaro agreed, dumping food onto their plates one-handed. He allowed Seth to help him carry his drink back into the living room and then put on a record for some background noise. Distantly, Seth wondered if Dean had made it to the gym or if Roman was cleaning or gardening around the house. As they ate, he checked his phone periodically, but didn’t see any texts. Trying not to be terribly rude, he pocketed the device, listening to Cesaro happily prattle on about his girlfriend.

“We were talking about maybe going to a yoga retreat in August in the Keys,” Cesaro explained, “Taking some kind of trip. It is hard because it will be so hot here during the summer, so everywhere is sort of sweaty, but neither of us want to fly or do anything too expensive.” He took a bite of his food and chewed neatly, thinking. “But, we have gone to a few restaurants and we go to each other’s places maybe once a week. She does not want to go out too much or do anything too crazy, but I would like to surprise her with something fun.”

“I bet it’s hard though, with your shoulder and all.” Seth said, licking his fork clean, the food was quite good. “I’m sure she’s not expecting anything too wild.”

“Yes, but I want to travel and go places myself!” Cesaro laughed. “I just never felt as though I would want to do it alone. Having a companion is best.”

“Well, I’m down to do some double date nonsense now if you’d want.” Seth said, “You guys seem like you’re getting pretty comfortable. I still need to schedule an appointment with her…” he rolled his eyes. “Just one more thing on the list.”

“I can text her if you know what time,” Cesaro offered. Seth shook his head.

“Don’t bother, I’ll figure it out after the fundraiser,” he sighed, “Putting everything off till after that…”

“What do you think…” Cesaro asked, setting his half finished plate down and looking to Seth seriously. “What is the worst thing that will happen if you tell Roman and Dean about the estate things?”

“They break up with me,” Seth said flatly. “They don’t want to move or deal with it.”

“And you are dead set on leaving?” Cesaro asked. Seth nodded.

“It's… It’s where I’m supposed to be, I feel at least,” he said, remembering back to all of his grandfather’s photographs. The legacy of his family. “I don’t want to sell that house and I do want to figure something out with the property where maybe I could turn a profit with it. I don’t know.” He stroked his chin, toying with his beard fuzz carefully. “Maybe I don’t even do that, maybe I just fuckin’ lifeguard some tiny pool in Buffalo. I just feel like I need to be with my family, especially after what my mom had to deal with, being by herself and sorting through all of that stuff.”

“I think that makes sense,” Cesaro said, eyes narrowing and looking to Seth with a sort of quiet curiosity. “Why do you not think you can tell your boyfriends what you just told me?”

Seth opened his mouth for a moment, thinking. The mellow guitar music coming out of the record player filled the silence, and out of respect, Cesaro sat patiently. All of the emotions and stress behind the actual inheritance had eclipsed a lot of Seth’s thinking and he sat for a moment, trying to frame his mind around what he really, truly wanted. Free from any regard for money or outside interference.

“We’ve been dating for only a few months,” Seth said quietly, shrugging. “It’s not like we’ve talked at all about what he want with that. Getting… really serious I mean.”

“Do you want to start a family?” Cesaro asked.

“I have no idea,” Seth rubbed his eyes. “But I definitely  _could_  if I had that house. It’s huge. I think at some point I might want to.”

“Well, if they do not want that…” Cesaro bit his lip, trying to think of his own way to frame his thinking. “I… I think sometimes you sell yourself short or your boyfriends short… maybe I am wrong but they seem to be very kind and nice to you. If you are already living together, they probably would like to be with you for some time.”

“That’s true… they… have been…” Seth mumbled. Without fail, almost any time he’d been emotionally shaken or physically incapable of doing something, both Roman and Dean had swooped in to do anything they could. If Seth asked for anything, he knew his boyfriend’s could be counted on to help. It wasn’t a question anymore and Seth was long past being tentative and afraid of Roman and Dean getting closer than he was with either of them.

But there was also the text conversations that he really didn’t want to explain to Cesaro. Those sideways complaints he’d read between Roman and his sister regarding his behaviors. Dean’s moments of moodiness and seclusion. Roman’s wishy washy attitude and poorly adjusted family and drinking and all their stupid fights about laundry and refrigerators.

Could they replicate any modicum of happiness away from the house? Was it all just some stupid immature dream to be a trio instead of a pair?

“You will never know until you talk to them about it,” Cesaro said, bringing Seth back to earth and wiping the corner of his mouth with a napkin. “But I think that they may surprise you. Maybe they will offer something that you did not expect.”

“Like what?” Seth asked, narrowing his eyebrows.

“Some solution you did not think of?” Cesaro tried, half-shrugging. “Who is to say?”

Cesaro gave him a lot to think about, but it was still too much for Seth to imagine a good way to spring the important conversation on his boyfriends. The rest of the visit, Seth talked about the Keys, explaining the amazing houseboat and their stops along the way. Cesaro listened politely and asked questions about specific places he’d heard of, watching Seth with a sort of buzzed expression. Clearly he was very happy to see his friend, and Seth felt a lot better to catch up and have a few things off his chest.

“The sun is down, but it is still hot.” Cesaro sighed miserably, looking at his phone as Seth checked the time. “Do you work tomorrow then?”

“Yeah, lots of last minute prep for the event.” Seth sighed, stifling a yawn. It was about 9:30, a lot later than he was usually out. Since he’d moved into Roman’s house, he felt like he was in bed by 10 PM like clockwork each night. Cesaro took their plates and proceeded to rinse them off in the sink. The record had long since stopped and Seth looked around at the little space, feeling peaceful.

“You should come by the fundraiser if you’re not stuck at the doctor’s all day,” Seth encouraged, getting up and stretching where he stood. “Bring your girl by.”

“Maybe, I think it is supposed to rain this weekend.” Cesaro re-entered the room and looked at Seth kindly. “Text me next week? Let me know how things are going for sure.”

“Yeah yeah, thanks a lot man.” Seth leaned in, actually going for a full hug before he realized what he was doing. Cesaro didn’t seem to mind though, shuffling closer so his arm was not jostled.

“I appreciate it,” Seth said, stepping back. “Sorta just… taking everything a few minutes at a time.”

“Yes, do not explode.” Cesaro laughed, seeing him to the door. “Have a good night, Seth.”

Substantially less stressed out, his mind wandered idly as he drove home. Throughout his body, Seth felt loose and carefree, less likely to snap at any moment. As much as he wanted to believe Cesaro, and the evidence that was right under his nose, he just didn’t feel comfortable showing his cards yet. With each passing day, he was probably losing credibility from hiding the information, but he needed to plan. Planning meant actually looking at the forms his mother sent and getting a timetable sorted out. After the fundraiser, Seth would call the estate lawyer and then maybe he’d have a better idea.

We’ll sit down, he thought, imagining himself laying out charts and graphs for Dean and Roman to see. They could go out to dinner and Seth would pop the information on them to ponder in a public space where they’d be more likely to listen and not escape. Seth still didn’t know what he thought his boyfriend’s might say, but he wasn’t sure when it was appropriate in a relationship to ask his lovers to roll the dice and uproot their lives for him.

Pulling back onto Grant Street and parking his car by the large willow tree, Seth got out and pushed his sweaty hairs back behind his ears. The lights in the house were on and the Jeep was in the driveway, but the garage door was open, which was a little strange. As he came inside and heard Kevin’s little anxious bark, Seth saw the TV was on, but Roman was asleep on the couch, snoring up a storm.

His heart sank a little as he saw beer cans and video game controllers on the coffee table. Roman looked completely out, deaf to Kevin’s noise with his hair strewn wildly across one of Dean’s hoodie’s that he’d crumpled up into a pillow. Dean himself was nowhere to be found and Seth toed out of his shoes, feeling deflated.

If Roman was drinking because he was stressed out about something, he was also hiding something. Without any thought, Seth glanced around suspiciously, looking for his boyfriend’s phone around the perimeter of the living room. The man had actually fallen asleep in his jeans and as Seth’s eyes grazed down his body, he could see the lump of the device in his boyfriend’s pocket. Seth sighed hard, sure that they’d have to have some sort of conversation about this. If Dean of all people had brought it up, it was a problem.

Walking into the kitchen and surveying the heap of dirty dishes in the sink, Seth noticed a note on the table and the contents of his pocket, including his phone. Seth’s heart raced, seeing the note Went out biking with gum wrappers and a pair of headphones heaped on the countertop. Swallowing hard, Seth looked around. Roman was snoring and there wasn’t any reason to think that he’d be interrupted. There wasn’t any reason to look at Dean’s device, but Seth felt vulnerable after such an intimate conversation with Cesaro.

_Why couldn’t he just trust them?_

Opening Dean’s phone in a hurry, Seth didn’t see any missed texts or calls. From what he’d already gathered by peeking at their phones before, he wasn’t really shocked. The most immediate application on his boyfriend’s device seemed to be an internet page, difficult to discern through the cracked screen.

Seth blinked, tilting forward and narrowing his eyes to read. It looked to be some sort of list and Seth scrolled to the top. He hadn’t known Dean to read much or use the internet, but it had appeared to have used it for something.

_10 Simple ways to reduce stress!_

__  
Stress and anxiety are common experiences for most people.  
In fact, 70% of adults in the US say they feel stress or anxiety daily.  
Here are some simple ways to relieve stress and anxiety….

It seemed almost laughable that Dean had gone so far as to Google ways to relax, but Seth’s heart hurt to see it. At the top of the list, exercising and biking were options that the article was promoting, shortly followed by candles and meditation. It was possible that Dean had wanted to talk to Seth while they were working out, perhaps plan some intervention to talk to Roman about what they were witnessing. Seth locked the phone slowly and set it down, treading carefully into the living room where his boyfriend was still fast asleep. Kevin followed in his shadow and Seth turned off the television, feeling vacant and hollow.

He didn’t want to confront his boyfriend or wake him up, he’d done that before, but it hadn’t changed anything. Perhaps Roman had meant to wait up for him and had simply passed out where he’d been sitting. But Seth didn’t really think that was true.

This can’t be happening if we’re going to move Seth thought angrily, walking to the bathroom and getting ready to brush his teeth. It was getting late now and he hoped Dean was biking back, but since he didn’t have his phone, Seth could only hope for the best.

It wasn’t often that he laid in bed alone, and as he sunk into the sheets, shucking off his day clothes, it occurred to him how vast the mattress was when there was only one person on it. He stretched his limbs out in all directions for a few minutes, trying to stay calm and breathe before curling into his usual middle spot.

The moon shone full through the window and with every silent second, he felt worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Originally posted to Tumblr on July 26th)


	30. Pillow Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seth distracts himself by keeping busy. Special appearance by Drew Mcintyre.

Even if Seth had the time to discuss things frankly with his boyfriends, he wasn’t really sure what he was going to say. Whether it was the obvious, looming cloud surrounding his inheritance or the more immediate problems of Roman’s drinking, he was at a loss for words. Without the ability to triage the most important issue, Seth just felt listless and disconnected.

That night, Roman eventually came to bed after Dean, but the three were all siloed from one another, in their own space. Seth tried to half-heartedly cuddle with each of them, if only to make himself feel better. But Roman’s snoring was terrible and Dean was even more fidgety than usual, springing up during the night to use the bathroom on more than one occasion.

Breakfast was quiet, and Roman seemed to realize he was being circled with a wide berth. Seth watched with a sort of dissociated fascination as Dean focused intently on nibbling his egg sandwich to completion before checking on the chickens. It didn’t seem malicious or passive aggressive, but Roman cleared his throat loudly, looking around the kitchen as Seth mutely rinsed out his coffee mug.

“Ugh… sorry I’ve been kinda… slacking since vacay,” Roman admitted, rubbing his eyes and leaning back in his seat. “I’m gunna clean the house up this weekend. Got the carpet cleaner’s comin’ anyway.”

Seth just hummed, blinking hard. Past using the bathroom several times before noon, he wasn’t sure if his coffee was doing anything for him anymore.

“Dean okay you think?” Roman asked, looking out the window to where their boyfriend was aimlessly wandering around between the garden patches. “Was sort of quiet… last night.”

“Ask him if you want, I dunno,” Seth sighed, shaking his head. Everything else seemed so much larger than the petty tedium between his boyfriends. He yawned hard and set his mug in the sink before going to the bathroom to shave, too sleepy and preoccupied to be polite. This was Roman’s problem after all, not his. It wasn’t like they could help him with his own problems right now.

Needless to say, Seth’s detached mood threw their morning routine for a loop when he went to load his work bag into the Cadillac instead. For Seth, it made obvious sense. Roman only had to work a few hours in the morning and their carpooling was becoming inefficient. With all the last minute duties of the fundraiser, Seth was also sort of hoping that he might have to work later and have some time away from the house to occupy himself. Dean watched, obviously torn as Roman just went to the Jeep, likely a little put off by Seth’s own grumpy attitude.

“I’ll still pick you up if you want,” Seth heard Roman call. He didn’t bother looking up as he searched for a good song on his phone to play for his morning commute. Another plus to riding without Roman was that Seth wouldn’t be subjected to R&B music he didn’t want to hear. A little surprisingly, Dean took to the Jeep and Seth blinked, watching his boyfriends load into the larger car without a perfunctory goodbye.

“Whatever,” he mumbled under his breath. Gripping the wheel maybe a little tighter than usual as he turned down the road, toward the highway. Hadn’t Dean just confessed to him yesterday about being uncomfortable with Roman’s behavior? Seth supposed he could be using the short ride to talk, but it seemed unlikely.

With everything going on, work was a godsend and Seth was ready to isolate himself all day if it meant he got a mental break from the world. With Roman and Dean just a few seconds behind him, he powered through the lobby, past Sami and the school group that was coming in, to Hunter and Stephanie’s office that was darkly lit and unoccupied. He paused for a moment, squinting through the glass before his hand went to the door handle, about it open it. Usually he checked in with his boss before he put his things down in the maintenance room, it was just a habit at this point.

“Hay, you can’ go in there.”

Seth turned his head and came face to face with a rather large bearded man donning a lifeguard tube. He was quite a few inches taller than Seth, with chest hair that was puffing out from under his guard shirt, Seth blinked, amused.

“Uh, I work here?” He almost laughed, feeling the frustrations with Roman and Dean that had been just beneath the surface flare up again. “Employee of the month? I’m Seth Rollins.”

The man raised an eyebrow, eyes flicking back to the water he was attending. If he hadn’t been so flagrantly rude, Seth might have thought he was attractive. He was similarly bearded with long dark hair, and something about his voice was vaguely foreign, like british, or something.

“Well… you don’ have a nametag or nuttin’,” the man mumbled, re-adjusting the strap of his tube across his chest. “Thought you were just some patron.”

“Don’t worry about it man,” Seth said, more dismissively than anything as he put his hand back on the door handle. If he was in a better mood, Seth might have asked for his name or at least put on a guise of benevolence. But that morning, he was more than happy to appear haughty and self-important as he came inside the office and flicked on the light.

Sure enough, on Hunter’s desk, a note had been left detailing a set of tasks that still needed to be completed before the fundraiser the next day. At this point, Seth was sort of used to untangling his boss’s shorthand scrawl, and he smiled as he saw a large circle of items that Hunter had simply scrawled SETH next to, in the margin.

_Call Paige (See cell # on contact sheet) Working front desk w/ Sami? Fundraiser start time_

Seth had remembered Hunter mentioning something about Paige, and he blinked, trying to think if it was best to just try texting her. Aside from always feeling a little stupid on the phone, he had next to no relationship with the girl. All he’d known was the swarm of gossip around her and he didn’t really want to stick his nose in it.

_Surf camp sponsorship: attn: Shinsuke_

At this, Seth noticed an arrow pointing from the clipboard to Stephanie’s desk, where a catalog of surfboard gear was resting on her desk. Sure enough, the catalog had a sticky note that said NAKAMURA in large script. Seth didn’t really know what it was about, but he supposed he would probably have to go find the guy and give him the catalog.

_Find Face Paint (restock??)_

More Fundraiser stuff, and Seth sighed hard, trying to imagine where the facepaints were. Miz’s office was a good guess, though there was a large rubbermaid container full of a miscellaneous selection of crap that White Water kept around for birthday party groups. It was likely that he’d have to do some digging.

_Chairs from basement_

This was pretty self explanatory. There were some chairs that Hunter had discussed needing to bring outside for use by the staff. If the note was referring to the metal folding chairs, he’d have to find the service cart to load them onto. For this, he might need someone’s help, just because of his knee. However awkward it might be to go find Dean and Roman for their help at that point, he might have to.

_Lanyards (See Sami)_

Seth had no idea what lanyards the list was referring to. He might try to tackle that first, just so he could get an idea of what he was supposed to be doing.

_Confirm water X class with Roman_

“OO’ was that guy?”

Seth blinked, hearing voices behind him, in the pool area. The tall guard that had accosted him on his was into the office was talking to someone. Though his voice was muffled, Seth could hear him through the glass easily. He didn’t want to turn around and reveal himself, as the lights were on, and so Seth just played dumb, listening intently with his back turned.

“Who?”

“Dark haired guy,” the man said. Seth sniffed, it sounded like he was talking to Dolph. To appear busy, he picked up a pen from Hunter’s desk and twirled it between his fingers.

“Oh, Seth,” Dolph said, lightheartedly. The back of Seth’s neck prickled. Ever since he’d heard Dolph talk shit about him on accident, they’d been a little cold. “Hunter’s  _sassy_ gay friend.”

His chest went cold for a moment as the man he didn’t know gave a snorting laugh and said something unintelligible. Dolph’s words were entirely inappropriate- bordering on some sort of harassment, but Seth kept his cool, feeling his hands began to sweat. Dolph continued on, saying something along the lines of “Used to guard” and “mostly harmless” and the two men walked down the pool deck, moving onto a different conversation. Seth stayed rooted to the spot, bubbling with anger and the desire to call Dolph into the office for a man to man chat. Was Dolph really so stupid as to think that he hadn’t heard him?

There didn’t seem to be an opportune time to make his exit, but Seth gave himself a few moments before blindly leaving the office. Five steps out, and he was forced to double back for the clipboard, but even he didn’t know where he was going. Dolph and the taller guy were on the other side of the pool and didn’t even seem to see him, talking to a patron.

“Hey!” Sami piped up as Seth came behind the desk, pulling out the weekly work schedule and tossing the clipboard onto the counter with a flippantly careless thwap. “I got those little keychain things.”

“What?” Seth said, unhearing as his gaze went down the list of guards working the pools that day. The usual 9:00-1:00 shift slot showed Dean in P-Pool and Baron opening the adaptive area. The name  **DREW MCINTYRE**  was printed large under the lap pool tier and Seth just blinked, wondering what he’d been hoping for.

“Hunter told me you were going to assemble these once we got them in,” Sami said, kicking a large cardboard box in his direction which rattled with the noise of plastic packaging. “I can help too. Most of them are in these clear sleeves right now-” Sami held up couple of little inserts, but paused as he seemed to sense Seth’s distress. “What’s up?”

“It’s nothing,” Seth lied, shaking his head. A few patrons came in and Sami paused, quickly scanning their membership cards. “Uh… I’ll uh… I’ll be back in a bit here.”

“No prob,” Sami said, handing an older man a towel. “I’ll take them out of the sleeve things. Should make it easier.”

“Thanks man,” Seth sighed, walking back through the turnstile without any real plan of action. Why had Dolph felt compelled to say something so offensive? Did he know it was offensive? Honestly, the more Seth thought about it, the more he felt it probably wasn’t intentionally malicious. Straight people said all sorts of cringeworthy things about gay people all the time, and Seth had spent most of his teenage years trying to dodge women that seemed over-eager to befriend him when they found out he was gay.

Perhaps it was the use of the word sassy that had particularly grated him. Seth doubled back to the lap pool to grab the catalog off Stephanie’s desk with a face set in concentration. As soon as he’d come out as gay in a frenzied emotional fit to his mother, sassy was a word he had begun to loathe. Seemingly overnight, almost everything he did that was remotely antisocial or introverted, his mother referred to as sassy for comedic effect. Everything he did was deemed effeminate, and it aggravated him to no end. To Seth, it seemed obvious that the words were derogatory, but he instantly began to question his own behaviors and mannerisms.

It doesn’t matter what they think Seth thought as he left the pool for the second time, purposefully ignoring Drew Mcintyre and Dolph. Hadn’t Dolph got him coffee that one time he had to open the pool? Weren’t they friends?

There was still some cleaning to do aside from all of Hunter’s errands, and Seth decided to reline the trash cans first and work his way around the building to cover his ground. Shinsuke wasn’t on the schedule until three, usually when Seth was leaving the building. He could catch Roman literally whenever he wanted to, and so he quickly texted Paige about the fundraiser before Seth worked top down, heading to the adaptive pool.

“Hiya Seth,” Finn grinned sweetly, passing him at the utility closet where he was grabbing a new box of trash bags. Seth nodded, trying to smile and pull himself out of his head. “Wha’ time are ya workin’ the fundraiser tomorrow?”

“Morning shift,” Seth said, setting the box on his cart and looking for gloves. “I think they’re having me man the gate or something.”

“Could barely fine’ parking in the lot, what with all da folks out der,” Finn mumbled, looking a little tentative about something. Seth looked up as Finn licked his lips, looking a little sheepish. “I was uh, wonderin’ if I could ask ya a favor…”

“Yeah?” Seth asked, looking up as Finn blushed, holding up a plastic bag which was stuffed full with a bag pack.

“Urh… I didn’ wan’ to haff ta ask, it’s jus…. Kev made fun of me pretty bad last time and tol’ me he wouldn’ wash it twice… I spilled coffee on et…” Finn explained. Seth accepted the bag, peering in. “Do you tink you coul’ wash it while I’m on da lifeguard stand?”

“Yeah man, no problem,” Seth laughed, wondering why Finn was so uptight. “You want me to put it in the breakroom when it’s done?”

“If you coul’,” Finn beamed. “Thanks Seff!”

With just another item on his list, Seth took the elevator to the top floor and began working his way around AJ and Miz’s offices, pointedly hurrying to get away from the two insufferable men. For once, AJ wasn’t subjecting the room to obnoxious country-pop music and Miz wasn’t on his headset device, talking boisterously. The two men seemed swamped by the fundraiser as well and several stand up displays were resting against the wall of the office, ready to be used the next day.

Baron was on the stand, watching a single kid and what was likely a professional assistant, working with a special needs child. The deck’s single trash was barely ever full, and after checking it, Seth made a beeline for the boys locker rooms.

“You want me to check the ladies?” Sasha asked as she came in, watching Seth consolidate several bags as he stood outside the youth locker rooms, arms full.

“Uh, if you got a sec,” Seth mumbled. Sasha and Bayley occasionally helped with these sorts of things, but Stephanie wasn’t above assisting either, if she was walking down the hall. There were a stange view moments as Seth stood, holding an empty garbage liner as Sasha ducked into the locker room, feeling unaccountable for his mood. As his mind seemed to be paddle-balling back and forth a lot these days, he wondered idly how long he’d have to clean bathrooms before he received his inheritance. Seth knew a six-figure check didn’t mean he was better than anyone, but he was getting awfully tired of having dirt in between his fingernails.

Dolph passed through the youth locker room, shaking him from his thoughts and making Seth slightly angry again. Sasha came by to grab another liner and wiggled her eyebrows.

“You okay?” she asked, fluffing up the garbage bag. “You look moody.”

“It’s my face,” Seth grumbled, watching his bleached-blonde coworker traipse down the hall as though nothing was wrong.

“You doing okay though?” Sasha asked, looking at him seriously. Seth knew she was asking because of his grandfather and he just shrugged, wiping the side of his nose with the back of his hand.

“Weird day, I dunno,” he admitted. “Don’t worry.”

Paige texted him back during his break, and Seth went out of his way to avoid Dean. He was still in a weird mood and wanted his space, and although it was hot outside, Seth went on a short walk around the steamy parking lot. There was still a lot of work to be done in the cordoned-off area where rented tents were being erected in preparation for the big day.

Hired workers were sweating in the hot sun and a few were smoking on the outskirts of the parking lot, taking a break. In his mind, Seth could imagine the layout that he had seen on Hunter’s computer screen several times. The park would be closed for the day and several food trucks would be parked by the entrance, including the one belonging to the Joe character he’d talked to on the phone. The tents were for a few different outreach programs and White Water’s internal programming, like swim lessons and water exercise. Looking out to the farthest corner by the line of trees, Seth was sure the bounce house and kids games were all going to be set up the next morning.

His forehead sweat as he walked, but his knee was feeling good enough to survey the area in a lap, awkwardly waving to the workers and Kevin, who was coming out of the park. As he came around the backside of the tents, Seth could see Hunter at the front, talking on his cellphone.

“Yeah, no, I know, but it’s only supposed to be for the morning, so worst case scenario, we’ll just be anticipating a bigger crowd in the afternoon.” Hunter was saying on the phone. Seth stepped forward, mingling around but trying to appear casual by bringing out his own phone. It wasn’t strictly necessary for him to keep checking in with Stephanie and Hunter, but he was feeling sort of fragile and directionless.

“Yeah… I’ll uh, I’ll catch you tomorrow Shawn, just make sure you’ve really got that dinner reservation…” Hunter shot Seth a sort of playfully exasperated face as his friend clearly wanted to prolong the conversation. “Yeah brother, you too…”

Seth half smiled as his boss sighed and hung up the phone. They were both sweating in the sun and he was grateful as Hunter gestured for them to walk inside.

“Paige got back to me, she said she can be here tomorrow around eleven.” Seth said first, mentally trying to work through the list he’d been given. Still gotta get those chairs and the lanyards… You just want them in your office when they’re done? The lanyards?“

"Yeah, that sounds best,” Hunter nodded, pocketing his phone and making to get the door for Seth before they could fight over it. “I’ll help you with the chairs now if you’re ready.”

“Sure sure,’ Seth said, following Hunter down the stairs at a shuffle. Predictably, they were stopped several times and Seth had to idle behind his boss as all manner of questions were lobbed his way.

"I need to talk to ‘ou before the end of de day,” Maryse said seriously, looking awkwardly between her boss and Seth, sure in the fact that she wanted privacy.

“When do you leave? Four?” Hunter asked calmly, looking at his watch. “Can you meet me in my office then?”

They were accosted again by a very sun-tinged Sheamus, who was angry with Rusev for being made to work in the direct sunlight.

“I think Aiden had the same complaint,” Hunter laughed, Seth watched his boss pat the large ginger haired man on the chest. “We still need to get the rest of those umbrella’s put up there for you guys. I’ll make sure it gets done after the fundraiser.”

“It’s like you get stopped every five feet,” Seth laughed lightly as they continued on. Hunter just shrugged, turning down his walkie talkie as Tyler requested more towels upstairs.

“That’s sort of the idea behind the position we’re creating,” Hunter explained, flicking on the light in the basement and surveying the large racks of folding chairs, sitting dusty in the corner of the basement storage area. “Stephanie’s taking on a lot more outreach work lately and it would be nice to have a more communicative lead staff.”

“Well, you know I’m in,” Seth said firmly, walking over to where Hunter was pointing at the moving dolly. “I know that I’ve had… like all that stuff happen. But I’m getting back in the groove of things.”

“Good. Life has bad timing sometimes.” Hunter said cooly, as though he wasn’t talking about something as complicated as a deceased family member. “Knee still healing then?”

“Yeah, uh, I still need to go to the doctor again,” Seth mumbled, accepting chairs from Hunter to stow on the dolly. “Waiting… till after the fundraiser. It’s been feeling fine and I’ve been doing the exercises I’m supposed to, so I feel like I can push it a little…”

He felt a little stupid talking about his life to his boss, but Hunter’s attention seemed to be the perfect mix of detached and focused to allow Seth to speak. There wasn’t much that he really wanted to say, but it felt better than mutely pacing the halls and finishing chores as he usually did. As the two pulled the chairs up the elevator, through the lobby and back outside, Seth wondered if there was really a vocal minority at work that could possibly dislike Hunter and thus similarly dislike him. Dolph had said Hunter’s sassy gay friend as though he was also dismissing his boss a little. For a moment, Seth mulled over the possibility of telling his boss what he’d heard, but he sighed, swallowing it down.

“We’re still waiting on two tents and the display board,” one of the workers explained to Hunter, fixing a work cap over his sweaty hair. “Truck’s comin,”

“Will it be here by four?” Hunter asked, slightly annoyed. Seth watched him check his watch and fanned his shirt quickly. Even if he did tell Hunter anything, what the hell could he do about it? The fundraiser was the priority right now.

With the folding chairs crossed off the list, Seth put Finn’s backpack in the wash and set Shinsuke’s catalog aside at the front desk for when he eventually came in. It was now almost two o'clock, and Seth worked with Sami to begin fixing the keychains to the lanyard strands. Hunter and Stephanie had ordered five hundred little White Water metallic logo keychains that were to be given away with donations to their water safety program.

“There’s gunna be an ad in the paper, tons of folks show up,” Sami explained, tossing Seth a lanyard clip. “Weather doesn’t look great, but that won’t stop a lot of people.”

“I’ll be glad when it’s over,” Seth yawned, clipping a keychain to a lanyard and tossing it into a box. He knew if he wanted to do his job right, he’d go through and tie the lanyards together in strings of twenty or something, but he was losing his enthusiasm as his fingers grew dry. Sami kept having to pause to check people in and the evening rush was coming on fast with swim lessons. It took Dean clicking his tongue from the turnstile for Seth to notice him. His heart leapt a little and he realized he hadn’t seen his boyfriends all day.

“You staying for awhile?” Dean asked, holding his work bag, clearly ready to leave. Seth nodded from his spot on the floor, pointing to the box of lanyards.

“Yeah, that’s the plan,” he said, not looking at Dean. “Uce can pick you up right?”

“I can stay'n help too,” Dean shrugged. “What do you gotta do?”

“It’s no big deal,” Seth said quickly, not really sure why he was readily refusing help, other than he felt weird around his boyfriends at the moment. If he just stayed at work, he didn’t have to go home and have an awkward conversation. Seth could barely remember all the specifics either. Roman’s drinking… a sort of filthy house… it hardly seemed important compared to his own problems.

Dean looked to Sami and then to Seth, lost. Seth felt a pang of guilt, but knew he needed some space. From his sprawled out station on the floor behind the counter, Dean couldn’t ask him weird questions or physically say goodbye. But Seth knew he couldn’t really place his fear in reality as his boyfriend rarely copped a poor attitude in these sorts of situations.

“Mmmmmkay,” Dean said simply turning on his heel and heading back toward the turnstile. “You good on dinner then?”

“Yeah, don’t worry,” Seth said, piping up as Dean’s scruffy head began to disappear away on the other side of the counter. “We’ll uh… We can maybe hang out after the fundraiser or something tomorrow?”

“Yeah?” Dean said, coming back to the counter and leaning over it. A family skirted around him, clearly slightly annoyed he was in the way. “Promise?”

“Yes, I promise,” Seth furrowed his brow a little. Aggravated at any hint of being called a flake. He knew Dean was just teasing him, but he wasn’t in a good mood to hear it. His boyfriend raked his knuckles on the counter, thumping the surface before walking off, probably to sit on the chairs by the door. Sure enough, Sami didn’t say anything about the interaction for several minutes, likely after Dean had actually left the building.

“Dean seems a lot more cool since you guys have been together,” he said simply, setting down the card scanner to grab another lanyard. “I feel like he didn’t talk to anyone ever. I mean… he’s still pretty goofy, but it’s good that he’s got you guys.”

“Mmmm,” Seth hummed, uncrossing his legs. “Maybe I guess… Not like I was here long without dating either of them.”

“I just thought Roman was his only friend.” Sami explained, nodding to an older woman coming through the door. “Never seemed to like socializing much.”

“Was Uce- Uh… Roman any different?” Seth asked, curious. Sami shrugged, thinking hard.

“Maybe… he’s probably more relaxed now,” Sami smiled. “All three of you guys are sort of weird and grumpy.”

“Excuse yourself,” Seth said, rolling his eyes. Dolph’s words were still rolling around in his head and again, he bit back an anxious re-telling of the overheard conversation. “I have friends away from my boyfriends.”

“Yeah you do, I’m just joking,” Sami said, surveying the box of still un-connected lanyards. “Jeez, how long did you want to be here?”

“I’ll finish it,” Seth said tilting his chin so he could see the rest of his work. “Don’t worry about it, you don’t have to stay.”

Shinsuke arrived on time for his evening swim lessons and as he came through the lobby, Seth presented him with the catalog of surfing equipment Hunter had left. For a day of completing mostly tiresome and thankless jobs, Seth was at least glad to see Shinsuke’s face light up with excitement, paging through the bright pages full of wetsuits and boards.

“Did… Hunter say?” Shinsuke asked with a heavy accent, accessing his english. “What time? Eh… to Order?”

“Uh, I don’t know,” Seth said, trying to remember exactly what Hunter had written. “I’m sure after the fundraiser… I think that just came in the mail the other day.”

“Kids will love it,” Shinsuke said, beaming wide. There was something incredibly infectious about his enthusiasm and Seth smiled too.

“Yeah? That’s great,” he nodded. “Glad I caught you.”

With the noise of swim lessons and children’s voices cascading down the hall, Seth pulled the lanyard boxes into the break room so he might have some peace and quiet. Snacking on a bag on Sun Chips that had been abandoned on the table, he yawned a few times, checking on his progress and rolling his shoulders. If he was home right now, Dean would probably be checking on the chickens of knitting and Roman would be doing some dishes or lounging on the couch. At least, that’s what they did most days. Seth knew he was probably acting really weird and distant to him, but he was at least glad he had the excuse of his grandfather’s passing to allow him some thinking time.

Seth still had to call the estate lawyer and sort through the paperwork his mother had sent. It was so confusing it made his head hurt and there still didn’t seem to be an obvious answer to his problems. As he sat in the empty break room and pressed keychains onto the lanyards, Seth wondered if a logical conclusion would arise through the court process or if he was supposed to have something in mind already. If everything he knew about lawyers and property bureaucracy was to be believed, he probably had a little while to think about what he wanted to do.

But still, Seth sighed, feeling hopeless again. If Dean and Roman just didn’t want to make the leap with him, he’d have to face that reality. For all the issues he’d ever encountered with being dishonest with Marek and watching that relationship fall apart, Seth had never been thoroughly  _rejected_  before. The thought terrified him, and for a few moments, he simply sat, mouthing theoretical conversations to himself.

_I love you both a lot_ , he tongued against his teeth.  _I feel like we could really do this if we wanted. I don’t have anyone else I want to share my life with like that._

Seth jumped as the door opened and a very wet, disheveled looking Finn came in, towel around his neck, looking miserable. As soon as they locked eyes on each other, he laughed a little. Seth blinked.

“Little brot'er fell in da pool,” Finn explained, “Probably didn’ haff ta’ do a whole jump, but the mot'er scared me.”

“You’re just having a great day, aren’t you?” Seth snorted, standing up and feeling his knee pop a little from sitting still. “Your bag is in the laundry room. Did you want-”

“Uh, yeah,” Finn nodded, dusting off his head a little.

“Everything okay?” Seth asked for good measure, touching the walkie talkie at his hip. “Someone got it?”

“Oh yeah, it was just a quick t'ing,” Finn sighed. “Randy’s givin’ me sum time.”

Seth retrieved Finn’s newly cleaned bag and doubled his pace to finish up the lanyard assembly before six-thirty. Eager to leave and get a more substantial dinner, he swore as he remembered the children’s face paints, still unaccounted for. Dropping his bag and running around the building, Seth used the service elevator to get to the top floor, checking Miz’s office cabinets before looking elsewhere. The container in question was supposed to be some blue-lidded rubbermaid with little paint palettes specifically for face painting. If he found them, Seth was supposed to put them with the other kid’s area boxes that were stacked in the corner of P-Pool. Looking outside through the window, more displays and tables had been erected before the sun was due to set.

After twenty minutes of searching, and enlisting the help of Bayley and Sasha, Seth was sure that whatever container Hunter had been describing had passed into non-existence. They checked the party room, the basement, the storage rooms on each floors and even behind the front desk, but there wasn’t any face paints. Annoyed, but mostly just exhausted of being at work, Seth tapped his foot, trying to think.

“They wouldn’t be in the park you don’t think?” Bayley tried, surveying all of the lanyards Seth had pieced together over the course of the day. “Maybe they all dried up and someone through them away.”

“If I buy more, Hunter can reimburse me,” Seth sighed, pulling out his phone. His mouth twitched, realizing he had a text in the group chat he shared with Dean and Roman. Ignoring it, he opened Google, trying to think of a store that might have face paints.

“Most places are probably closed,” Sasha said, pulling out her own phone and pulling a face. A group of swim team kids came by and she flattened herself against a wall. Seth felt guilty, his friends were ready to go and had their bags on their shoulders but were idling around on his account. The only art store that was open was south of Disney World and Seth didn’t want to go to a grocery store and buy a low-quality product that wouldn’t work.

“Okay though, I have to be here at 8:30 tomorrow…” Sasha began, looking at Bayley thoughtfully. “I could run to the store by my place… they’ll be open at 8 and I could get stuff for me and Xavier to use.”

“Could you?” Seth asked, fully ready to hug Sasha if he meant he could be finished working for the day. “That would be… perfect.”

“You owe me a cool hangout night,” Sasha said smartly. “I wanna go bowling or something. Maybe a movie.”

“Absolutely, whatever you want,” Seth said, nodding hard and picking up his box of lanyards again. “Just save your receipt and I’ll get you cash back.”

“Sweet!” Bayley said, happy to see the issue resolved. The girls waved as Seth shuffled as fast as he could to put the finished lanyards in Hunter’s office and finally clock out. “Bye Seth! See you tomorrow!”

“Bye girls!” Seth said loudly on his way out. His whole body felt like it was priming to shut down, relieved of duty, desperate to sink into a few hours of rest before he was back again, bright and early.

The lap pool was fairly busy as he walked in and set the box on the floor of Hunter’s office. Standing in the dimly lit room, he pulled out his bright phone to see exactly what he’d been sent. Two hours ago, Roman had asked How late will u be over there? Seth felt a little guilty, like he should have told them upfront in the group chat how long he would be, but he honestly hadn’t known.

Heading home now he sent, stomach grumbling. It would be a lot to assume that Roman had kept anything warm for him, but Seth would have been appreciative if that was the case.

Of the three of them, Seth was the only one that had to work really early the next day. Dean had the second shift and Roman was more or less beholden to the same job he always worked, which was just his regular group exercise class. Mentally, Seth reminded himself to tell Roman that he was supposed to confirm the class with Hunter and do some stupid intro about the importance of donating to the fundraiser. Turning the key in his ignition, Seth shook his head hard, trying to just clear his head of work crap now that he was off the clock. He didn’t really expect to come home and have a long talk or a stupid fight or anything outrageous, but Seth was starting to realize how disconnected he felt from the present. Driving through the city to get home, it was like he had no short term memory, nothing rooting him to the reality of him sitting in his car, turning the steering wheel and signaling for turns. Everything was in the future, and looking in the mirror, Seth thought his face looked sort of discolored and patchy, like his beard was short but growing in weird directions.

The house was dark and the Jeep was gone as Seth approached, feeling anxious again. Inside, Kevin was barking eagerly, but Seth paused as he imagined what he might see inside. What if Roman was passed out on the couch again? What if Dean was avoiding them both? It was nearly dark outside now and the air was sticky, not really prime biking hours.

But as Seth came inside, he realized he was fully alone. All of the lights were off and although the house wasn’t quite the filthy mess of dirty dishes and drink containers, the garbage was a little overflowing and stinky. Kevin had already been fed, and Seth licked his lips, wondering what he was expecting.

**We went out, there are noodles in the fridge** was written on a note in Roman’s neat handwriting. There was a little heart under it, which Seth guessed meant that no one was actually  _mad_  at him. _Why hadn’t they bothered to ask him about it? Did they just assume that he didn’t want to go out?_

Truthfully, Seth was in no mood to go out and he toed out of his shoes and let his hair out of it’s bun for good measure. The house was humming with central air and the new refrigerator shone bright as he opened it, examining the buttered noodles left behind. As he spooned the contents into a bowl, Seth was struck by how empty he felt again, without any task left to do.

_Am I depressed?_ He thought, walking to the sliding door to let Kevin outside. He knew he was being ridiculous if he was going to be lonely without his boyfriend’s for a single night, especially after Seth had opted to see Cesaro the previous day. There wasn’t anyone to talk to, so Seth undid his lips and again, practiced conversations on the open air.

“I don’t want to do any of this.” he said, not really knowing exactly what he was talking about. The inheritance seemed obvious, but the buttered noodles whirring in the microwave were also rather unappetizing. “Everyone should know that I can’t deal with this.”

The microwave beeped and he stared for almost another minute before he took it out to stir it again. Feeling dramatic and wishing he could just snap out of it, Seth strode to the living room and grabbed a pillow. He pressed it to his face and screamed as loud as he could manage with one breath, rubbing his beard on the upholstery and screwing up his face with a yell that nearly tore up his vocal chords. Another breath, another long yell and he felt light headed, standing up straight and hearing Kevin scratching at the door, apparently disturbed.

“You’re fine,” Seth snorted, striding to the door to let his dog in again and stooping to pet the little Yorkie. “You’ve got it the best Kev, don’t take it for granted.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's back! No! I didn't remove To The Rescue. SOMEONE flagged it for an abuse violation as I was apparently violating the no-commerce clause that Ao3 has in place to stop people from profiting off of fan works. Because I listed that I did commissions and had a Kofi account linked to my fic, the fics were locked for about a month while I waded through the contact network to get the things fixed.
> 
> The takeaway is that you should all follow my Tumblr if you want to stay updated with what's going on, and make sure you don't have anything similar on your own fics! They could be locked!
> 
> Next update will be something of a double chapter with the fundraiser, but it won't be posted until maybe a week after Summer Slam. This weekend I'm part of a large event for my career. I'm keeping very busy so I appreciate your patience! Sorry if I scared any one with this fic being shuttered- TTR forever! To everyone who voiced their words of love over Tumblr, y'all are very sweet. 
> 
> <3 Strykelass


	31. The Fundraiser [Part : 1]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seth heads out to the White Water fundraiser. Will everything go according to plan? Part 1 of 2.

Seth had difficulty sleeping again as he had eventually shuffled off to bed, alone. The mental energy it would have taken to text his boyfriend's was unavailable, and he tossed and turned in the sheets until both men were home. Their happy voices, giggling and whispering in the kitchen just made him angry, but when they came to join him in bed, Seth couldn't help feeling a little relieved when Roman pulled him into a tight spoon. Rumbling into a snore.

Everything that was going on in his head just felt like pent up energy, a need to run or act on something intangible. With a bad knee and a mostly exhausted capacity to express himself, Seth just lay, breathing and blinking, looking at the moonless sky in the frame of their window. Roman's tattooed arm shone bright in the dim light of the stars and he sighed with relief as the larger hand stroked his forearm. Dean fidgeted as usual, kicking the sheets around, and Seth could hear Kevin settling at the foot of the bed, jingling his collar.

_ After the fundraiser...  _ Seth kept telling himself in his head.  _ After that, he'd talk about what was going on. He'd find a way to do it. First he'd talk to the lawyer, and once he knew what to do, he'd lay it all out... _

A few hours of sleep was managed, but Seth actually woke up before his alarm from a strange dream. In his head, it had played out like a movie. Hunter and Stephanie were trying to get him to open a new pool in Iowa and for whatever reason, Seth couldn't write his own name on their contracts. The pen had no ink and seemed to cut through every piece of paper like a knife…

Pointing his toes and feeling his knee ache slightly, Seth was also highly conscious of the fact that he had quite debilitating morning wood, in addition to feeling like he needed to pee. Roman's own cock was sort of pressing against his ass, snuggled tight to his frame. But his boyfriend was still snoring away, breathing through his nose and tickling the back of Seth's neck. Checking his phone on the bedside table, he only had an hour before he needed to be leaving the house to get to the event. 

Dean was lightly snoring as well, and for a few minutes, Seth wondered about what his boyfriend's had gotten up to the night before. After Dean's admission of concern for Roman's drinking, it seemed a little strange for them to have gone out and had some beers. But Before he could dwell too much on it, Roman shifted again and Seth could feel the hard outline of a cock, rubbing against his backside, looking for something to do.

Vulnerable and restless as he was, Seth reached down to adjust his own dick, which was actually leaking a little with enthusiasm. Despite the physical contact and wanting ache, it would probably be weird to initiate anything at the moment. He hated when things seemed distant or strange with his boyfriends, mostly because Seth's only outlet for any physical activity nowadays seemed to be fucking. His skin was a little sweaty and the more that Seth pawed at his boxer briefs, the more desperate he felt. But instead of grinding his ass further into Roman's crotch, he eased out from his boyfriends clutches and waddled away to jerk himself off in the shower. 

It was a good way to burn off steam, but when he left the house around eight, Seth sort of felt like he was in a daze, fumbling with his keys and trying to get his brain to focus in a straight line. Because Roman and Dean didn't have to wake early, he'd left them lying in bed, with the sort of unsaid understanding that he'd let the coffee maker run before he left. Just as Seth had heard from Hunter, the morning weather was overcast and the clouds overhead were just dark enough to remind him to grab a waterproof windbreaker on his way out.

Driving and sipping his coffee, Seth blinked hard in an attempt to rouse his brain from the post-orgasm zombie state he usually found himself in. He adjusted his dick in his cargo shorts as he drove on, feeling his belly cramp slightly with hunger. With just enough time, he buzzed through the Starbucks drive-thru for more coffee, ordering a cortado and thinking of Cesaro. Rain began to patter on his windshield as he drove on and Seth groaned, hoping they would be well prepared. There was a general feeling of anxiety as he pulled into the side of the lot that wasn't occupied by canvas tents, but Seth just sighed, pushing the feeling down amongst all of his other worries. 

The White Water fundraiser had apparently been running for several years and was now a fixture of the local neighborhood, with plenty of signage and advertising that attracted families and individuals that used swimming as a means of exercise. As Stephanie had been planning, the event would cater towards the usual sale of raffle tickets for games that would help finance the organization's water safety program. But there were also other means of outreach in the form of swim suit donations for low income families, awareness for some aquatics programs for physical therapy, and additional new programming the facility was offering. As a greeter at the front, Seth had learned he was also responsible for signing up new members as a part of their zero-dollars down agreement for the month of April. It was an offer that his bosses were very intent on promoting at the event, and so Seth was trying to psyche himself up to do as much customer service as possible. 

Luckily, with the weather acting up, the staff had plenty of extra time to coordinate some last minute issues without any patrons standing in wait. As Seth unbuckled his seatbelt and got out of the Cadillac, he could see that the bounce house was still being inflated and there still wasn't any food trucks set up.

"We don't have the clipboards-" Stephanie was saying into a walkie and shaking her head in an exasperated sort of way. In the distance, Seth almost thought he could hear thunder and he sighed hard as he walked up to the front where the White Water displays were half-flapping in the slight wind. Baron was standing beside her, idling for something as Seth approached. There was still about twenty minutes before they officially opened and a lot of the staff was still rolling in it seemed.

"We need the kid's sized chairs," Stephanie said to Baron, sending him off. She turned as Seth nodded to her, hoping she wasn't about to snap at him.

"Rotten weather," he noted, trying to appear helpful. "Do you… want me to check the forecast or anything?"

"It'll sprinkle, but it won't pour," she said quickly, motioning for Seth to follow her to the front desk which was more or less prepared with a plastic tablecloth and a variety of forms. "Can you man the front and make sure everyone knows where they're going? I need to pick up a propane tank and Hunter won't be here until eight."

"Uh, yeah, for sure," Seth said, accepting a piece of paper with everyone's duties on it. Stephanie looked to him firmly with her heavily painted eyes.

"It's all going to be fine, there's always a few hiccups," she assured him. "Now, we've got the official staff shirts and the ones for sale in boxes in back there-" she pointed behind the table to where boxes had been stacked and labeled according to size. "The helium tanks for the balloons should be here in a few minutes and Kevin said he would be on top of that. How did yesterday go? Hunter said he had a lot of things for you to do."

"It was fine, I managed it all." Seth nodded, pulling a smile. "I got it. No sweat."

His boss walked away quickly, holding a piece of paper over her head as she turned to examine the sky again for rain. Still waking up and feeling a little out of place, Seth went to investigate the boxes of T-shirts specifically labeled for the staff. In varying colors of red and blue, the same White Water insignia was printed across the front with a rolling wave graphic.

"Those the staff shirts 'den?" Someone asked behind him. Seth turned and found he was in the shadow of the huge man named Drew Mcintyre that had acted coldly to him the previous day. He was holding a thermos full of coffee and looking tired, and Seth just nodded back, examining the sizes in his hands.

"I needa Large," Drew said firmly, pointing as Seth heaped a few smalls across his lap, looking for a better fit. "A red one, yea,"

"A red one,  _ please _ ," Seth said sarcastically, not really caring, but sure he didn't want Drew thinking that he could demand things of him. If Seth was going to be upper management, the guard staff had to respect him a little bit more. Before Drew could really retort, Seth found a large and tossed it over his head and onto the table for his coworker to grab.

"Oh sweet, shirts here?" Dolph chirped, striding over as Xavier and Baron passed by with a trolley of small chairs. Seth grit his teeth a little, hiding his annoyance as he set the box of red shirts on the table. Dolph still didn't know Seth had heard his little slip up in conversation the previous day.

"Where are we all supposed to be?" he asked, referencing his clipboard as Dolph went into the box, likely looking for a small he could choke himself into. "Do you guys know your stations?"

"Yeah," Drew snickered, just as Seth read down the list. "We're greeters too."

Sure enough, both Dolph and Drew were under Seth's name in the AM schedule slot, thus guaranteeing that the men would be sharing their morning. While Seth privately wanted to despair, he sighed to himself, thinking hard. Stephanie had left  _ him _ in charge.  _ How could he use this to his advantage? _

"How about you guys go hand out shirts, yeah?" Seth said, glancing at his phone. "We're about to open and nobody has theirs on."

"And nobody's here yet," Dolph snorted, looking from Drew to Seth. "People don't really come till like eleven anyway."

"Still, gotta look sharp," Seth said, tossing a few blue shirts in the red box as well. "Just make a quick round, be a pal?"

"We made it!" Sasha yelled, running up the path and toward the front, a plastic shopping bag swinging around her arm. Sensing futility, Dolph huffed and took the box, striding off with Drew in tow. 

"We got the paints!" Bayley grinned, holding up a plastic bag.

"Sweet," Seth said, biting back a short yawn as Bayley stopped hot on her girlfriend's heels, grinning. "You're heroes."

"We got glitter paints," Sasha added, pulling the little plastic fleet of colored face paint out of the bag to show him. "E said he wanted me to paint his face like a unicorn before it all started."

"Is everything over there? The rest of the supplies?" Bayley asked, turning to Seth and pointing to the corner near the bounce house. Seth shrugged, biting his lip. "Near the other kids stuff?"

"Uh, I think they're still setting it up, but I know that the paint brushes and stuff was set aside," he turned his head, looking around the aisle to see if he could catch anyone and ask. "How about you go over there and see? I mean… if it rains…"

It would have been more stressful if Seth was staring down a line of folks eager to visit the fundraiser, but the cars on the available side of the lot seemed to be patronizing the indoor pool for it's regular hours. A few people stopped and watched, but seemed to make up their minds as water droplets began to mist over them lightly. At a quarter after, Seth had stopped putting membership forms on clipboards and simply stood, watching the sky and picking at his red staff shirt. Xavier returned with the empty cart and stopped as he was speaking into a walkie talkie.

"What's up?" Seth asked, looking to the man as he squinted against the device. Xavier paused, turning the walkie on and off again.

"I thought I heard your name," Xavier mumbled, "You  _ should _ have a walkie."

"I probably should," Seth sighed. The device crackled and Xavier adjusted the volume so it could be heard properly. Sami's voice was saying something.

"-I called him because there's no instructor for the water x class I guess? Because it's an irregular day we didn't have anyone on the schedule. But Hunter and the people in the class said it was probably Roman?"

Seth's heart sank to his knees and he wrinkled his eyes as though he was in pain.  _ The class, the stupid fucking class that he was supposed to talk to Roman about... _

"Goddamnit," Seth blurted out, rubbing his temples. He hoisted the walkie from Xavier's hands and licked his lips, trying to think. "Sami, it's Seth. That was my bad."

"Huh?" Sami asked, Seth anxiously clicked the button on the speaker and probably cut off what his co-worker might have said. 

"No, uh, it's my bad, about the class…" He paused, trying to think desperately. It was probably too late to frantically call his boyfriend and apologetically ask him to come in and teach. Seth didn't know where Hunter and Stephanie were at either, and he didn't know what the exact chain of command was. Classes got cancelled sometimes, and the patrons were quick to complain about it loudly to any lifeguards or upper management they could find. But if there were a lot of people expecting the class…

"How many people are out there right now?" Sami walkied, likely sensing Seth's hesitation. "If it's not busy we could just grab someone to be an instructor."

"It's pretty dead… uh…" Seth squinted, trying to remember who taught group x classes out of all the people he had seen that morning. Sasha was the immediate pick, but he glanced down the list, keeping the walkie to his face. 

"You can keep that, I'll run and grab another one," Xavier said, nodding to Seth and winking and he continued on with his cart.

"Thanks man," Seth said, nodding fast. Most of the people that could have taught the class weren't coming in until the PM shift and Seth hurried fast, urging his tired brain to think. 

"Look Holly! Mister Seth is here!" 

Seth's gaze flicked up, blinking as he was feeling his sanity fray. Holly and her mother were coming down the path with a few other families, wearing light wind jackets and looking pleasantly excited by the canvas tents erected in the parking lot. At the sight of people to engage with, the staff in the surrounding area seemed to freeze and scurry to their stations. 

"H-hey guys! How's it going?" Seth managed, cracking a grin and standing upright. His knee twinged a little and he shifted his weight around, trying to appear hospitable. Holly looked around distractedly, not particularly affected by seeing her former swim teacher. 

"They said on the sign there was a bounce castle," she accused, looking up at Seth with determination. "And a petting zoo with horses."

"No petting zoo!" Mrs. Shippley laughed, looking to Seth with a hint of playful exasperation. "We went to the circus last week and now we're  _ obsessed _ with ponies."

"But there could be ponies  _ or _ horses," Holly said, apparently in her own little world. Mrs. Shippley laughed and looked to Seth kindly.

"How have things been lately? How is your leg?" She asked, perusing the papers that had been shifted away from the edge of the canopy where they might get wet. "It's been a shame we haven't seen you around much. Holly's doing so well in classes now, we really can't thank you enough for taking the time to help her out last year."

"Oh, uh, I've been fine," Seth mumbled, really wishing Mrs. Shippley would just continue with the other families that were rolling in and take her daughter to the bounce house. He'd love to have this conversation, just… not right now. "Knee's, uh, it's been frustrating, but the pool's been treating me good. I've been doing odd jobs here and there in the meantime."

"Oh that's nice," She said, pointing to a piece of paper that was stationed under a weight to keep it from blowing away. "What's this about?" 

"Oh… it's a new membership deal were promoting," he said quickly, tapping the list of employees he wanted to keep looking at. "It's just for new folks, but there's lots of cool stuff happening down this path-" Seth explained quickly. More and more people were arriving as the food trucks were starting up their grills and he was running out of time to fix the situation inside. "We have all the programming for the kids obviously… plus some information on our community outreach. I'm sure Hunter and Stephanie are doing something related to the swimmer's grant thing too… uh… maybe a little later in the day."

"Mom is there corn cobs?" Holly asked, pointing to one of the food trucks by the street. "It smells like corn."

"Does it? Oh, well maybe we can go get some later," Mrs. Shippley smiled. She looked back at Seth after glancing at her daughter, nodding. "That's all fantastic. We've only ever been here the last year, but this time it looks even bigger! I read about the swimsuit donation in the newsletter and that really can make such a big impact. I really hope-"

"Seth, did you find anyone?" Sami's voice crackled over the walkie that was sitting on the table. Seth blinked, reaching for the walkie and looking to Mrs. Shippley with what he hoped to be a sincere look of apology. 

"I won't keep you!" She laughed, stroking her daughter's hair. "Let's go buy some tickets, Holly. Have a great day Seth!"

"You too, enjoy yourselves," Seth said, holding his mouth to the receiver of the walkie.

"Goodbye Mister Seth," Holly said, waving. Seth smiled large and waved back, waiting for the two to turn around before addressing Sami. 

"Not yet, I'm trying-" he said eventually, addressing the walkie. His nerves jangled again as more people were arriving and looking at him, likely expecting a spiel about what the White Water fundraiser was. Luckily, just as he was about to apologize for being preoccupied, Dolph and Drew returned with a half empty box of shirts, donning their own red garb.

"Welcome welcome!" Dolph called boisterously, sensing some urgency. "Are you members? Have you been to White Water before?"

"I need to go figure something out," Seth said quickly, pushing the clipboards to the two men and practically jumping out from behind the tent. "The cash bank is under the table in the pouch-"

Before Dolph or Drew could object, Seth was striding fast around the back of the tents towards the kids area where Sasha and Bayley were likely posted up with E, painting faces. As he walked fast, he could see that a reasonable crowd of people were forming, mostly around the areas where there was food or group games. Bo and another employee with thinning hair that Seth thought was named Curtis were already soaking wet from some water balloon toss contest. Baron was begrudgingly sitting in a tiny dunk tank that looked slightly unstable for a man of his height. Kofi was keeping order at the bounce house and Seth grit his teeth in frustration at the sight of a huge crowd around the face painting table where all three of his co-workers were laboring in earnest over some designs on the cheeks of some younger children.

Seth knew he couldn't pull Sasha away from her station now, there was no way. Some brother and sister groups were already laughing and jumping around with the anticipation of getting their own faces painted. No one else in the vicinity had a water exercise certification. 

Seth walked back a little slower, but still avoided the crowd by walking on the outskirts. Miz had a cert, but he wouldn't be arriving until the second shift. While Hunter and Stephanie did fill in occasionally for these sorts of things, today was obviously not a time they would be available to assist. Passing by the tents with information on outreach, Seth paused watching AJ sip his coffee and wave to a few people strolling past. 

AJ had a certification. He had pretty much all of them. More than that, nobody was really stopping to talk to him about the benefits of physical therapy in an aquatic environment. This early in the morning, most of the folks coming by where families interested in buying a T shirt and entertaining their children. But Seth paused, biting his lip. He didn't want to ask AJ, and some part of him honestly thought his coworker might just refuse him because of his own stupid bigoted opinions. It was already almost twenty minutes past when the class was supposed to begin and Seth was sure that it might take twenty more to convince AJ to help him and then get a swimsuit on. 

"Hey Sami, just go ahead and cancel it," Seth walkied, continuing to walk down the concrete to the greeter's tent. "I think we're out of luck." 

"10-4 roger that," Sami replied. Seth felt awful, sure that his coworkers were likely dealing with the salty attitudes of patrons literally left out to dry. While Seth wanted to hope that his bosses would just shrug and assure him that 'these things happened', he felt bad for the fact that he'd fallen into this state of absentmindedness. If everything in his life was alright and Seth didn't feel weird going to his boyfriends for things, maybe he would have remembered something as simple as a group exercise class.

Scratching at his bearded chin anxiously, Seth made his way back into the tent and tried to take charge a little, faking a smile and waving to folks as they came in, but it felt hollow and weird. Drew and Dolph didn't have much to say, and began texting on their phones in shifts as the morning went on, occasionally grabbing a shirt for a sale or flicking pen caps at each other. 

"Welcome," Seth said for about the hundredth time, to a group of unfamiliar people around his age that looked slightly out of place. They nodded back, but mostly just stared around at the line of tents. Dolph and Drew continued texting and Seth frowned, aggravated. He'd put his own phone in his bag and hadn't looked at it for about two hours, but he was itching to check it. 

"We need the garbages changed in the southern corner," Someone said over the walkie. Seth waited, sure that he wasn't the only person listening. Sure enough in about a minute, Kevin piped up, saying he'd be out shortly. 

In the distance, Seth could spot Hunter talking to a few people casually, and for a few moments, Seth's aggravation intensified. Nobody had rushed over to relieve him of any managerial duty since Stephanie had left, and while it was mostly a compliment, it had stressed him out. The propane tank situation had apparently resolved itself and now Hunter was laughing with what looked like his friend Shawn and another well built caucasian man who had a shiny bald head. The sun was beginning to peak through the clouds and the mist had dissolved, but Seth didn't feel much warmer.

"I'm going to go grab some food quick," Seth said, looking to Dolph and Drew. "Try to look perky."

"No problem," Drew snorted, continuing to stare at his phone. Beyond caring, Seth grabbed his own device out of his bag and walked away from the tent without much inclination for any one cuisine. Sure enough he had a few missed texts and he stood for a moment on the spot, just reading them.

**I'll stop by the fundraiser today! Hope to see you** Cesaro had messaged just a few minutes ago. This made Seth smile, glad someone was thinking of him. 

Before that, Roman had tried calling him and had left a text asking  **Everything good?** It was over an hour ago now and Seth sighed hard, sure that he didn't want work calling his boyfriends because of some stupid mistake he made. Still, the fact that Roman had only bothered to call and text  _ once _ felt a little half-assed and Seth didn't bother replying straight away, fishing through his inbox to see a text from Sasha regarding the status of the face paint.

He walked, not really caring where, eventually ending up between a corn dog truck and one that had what looked like some fusion food that was definitely more interesting. Seth idled in line before realizing that everyone was paying with the raffle tickets they were selling and Seth fumbled with his wallet awkwardly, wondering if there was any perks to being a staff person. One look inside the truck and Seth realized that it was owned by the huge guy named Joe that he'd probably pissed off in Hunter's office.

_ Why did he have all these awkward situations? Other people surely didn't have as many poor interactions with their peers, so why did he? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Continued in Part 2


	32. The Fundraiser [Part : 2]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seth heads out to the White Water fundraiser. Will everything go according to plan? Part 2 of 2.

Avoiding the awkward situation, Seth opted for a corndog instead, graciously tipping the vendor after they obliged him an entree without using tickets. It probably wasn't as good as the bowl of the chop suey-looking dish that he'd been eyeing from Joe's truck, but it was considerably less awkward to obtain. Rounding back to the tent, Seth texted  **Everythings okay ill tell you later** to Roman as well as he could in his left hand. 

_ Just a little longer _ , he told himself, slumping back into the chair behind the greeter's table and trying in earnest to shovel down his food as fast as he could. Drew and Dolph both wanted to grab a bite as well and Seth waved them off, perfectly happy to be alone. The job wasn't hard at all, except for the fact it was getting hot and his mind was preoccupied. He was sweating through his red staff shirt and feeling a little musty with his curly, humid hair frizzing out of his bun, but Seth did his best to appear jovial and approachable.

"Welcome!" he reiterated, over and over again. Getting a small meal improved his mood a little. "Our fundraiser today is promoting our outreach programs that promote aquatics safety and competency to our Orlando community. Over there-" he'd point to Finn was stationed, at his own tent. "You can get our fair tickets for activities and food for the whole family-" and then he pointed to the aisle at large. "And anyone here can tell you about our programs for swim lessons, special needs and swimmers at risk."

Drew and Dolph had their own spin on things, but most people just wanted to know where the bathroom was anyway. Slightly damp and warped from the morning's mist, the membership forms were largely unwanted except for a handful of random folks that seemed sold on the center after an impromptu tour from Alexa or Dana. Twice, Kevin came by with a huge water jug for the staff to utilize and Dolph began loudly counting how many people came by the booth with tedious questions about the water park.

"There he is," a familiar voice said from around the corner of the canopy. Seth turned and grinned when he saw Cesaro and Sara walking together and looking very sweet. 

"Hey man! You ready to work again?" Seth joked to his friend beforeing nodding politely to his physical therapist. Cesaro wiggled his fingers that were hanging limp out of his sling. "Hey Sara, I've been meaning to schedule another appointment…"

"That's what they all say," she grinned back, standing close to Cesaro and nodding her head toward her boyfriend. "He was saying that, but then he said you had to do this all weekend, plus you had a bunch of crazy stuff going on."

"Y-yeah, sort of," Seth blushed, shrugging. "I've been doing the PT stuff at home though. This is just today... but yeah, stuff is sort of wild right now."

"No problem," She said, peering down her sunglasses and looking at all the forms and information on the desk between them. "So you guys really are more than just a pool, yeah?"

"Little bit, we got lots of literature here," Seth said distractedly. "What all were you guys doing today?"

"This mostly," Cesaro said, looking to Sara for some kind of confirmation. "We were talking about maybe going to downtown to walk around the lake but she has a client tonight so nothing to crazy." 

Cesaro blushed a little as Dolph nodded to them from the other side of the table, obviously unaccustomed to showing off his partner. For someone cowed by the use of a sling, he seemed to be standing a little more upright and tall, emboldened by his girlfriend. To Seth, it was pretty adorable. 

"I was just talking about how I wanted to see this place because of the adaptive pool," Sara said, pointing to the main building. "I'd heard they had programs here for PT. Not like I'm looking for a job or anything, but I like to know where I can send my people if they could use something like that."

"Oh… yeah," Seth nodded, reserving any shit-talking he might do about AJ until he could be sure that Dolph wouldn't hear about it. "Do you know a lot about... aquatics therapy stuff?"

"It's all sort of the same thing, but I don't have the additional trainings that some people have." She explained, setting the piece of paper down and smiling as Xavier came by and gave Cesaro a quick high five to his good hand. "I just was wondering about the facilities more than anything."

"I don't think it's super state of the art," Seth shrugged. He really didn't know much, but he liked Sara so he wanted to talk to her. His friend put a hand around his girlfriend's side and she looked up at him, considering.

"We should paint your face," She snorted, "Do a cat face or something."

"Like Zoe?" Cesaro laughed, referencing his own cat. "Only if you do it too."

"I have sunscreen on, but you should," she said, looking back to Seth. "You need anything back there? Knee's holding up?"

"Oh, I'm fine," Seth muttered, sensing that the two wanted to walk around. "Don't let him in the bounce house."

The two walked away and Seth watched with the same sort of happy awe he got whenever Cesaro seemed happy. With a few moments to spare, Seth thought about the start of his own relationship and that happy honeymoon period of getting to know Roman and Dean. Though they'd never had a lot of PDA and light touching (just because they were gay and didn't want unnecessary attention) Seth remembered holding hands with Dean at Lake Eola and the first few times he'd been alone with Roman. Even those early days of dinner at the house gave him little butterflies and Seth sighed, hoping to god he wasn't about to lose all of it because of his inheritance issues. 

"Too'h many cute couples here," Drew mumbled pushing back his long hair and watching a parade of some young parents and teens walking by, holding hands and surveying the fundraiser. "My girlfriend's oop in Ayr still. Ca' only skype her when it's convenient."

"That sucks," Dolph confirmed. "She's a babe too."

Drew began showing Dolph pictures on his instagram and Seth kept up the facade of smiling and waving to cover for his co-workers. There were a lot of people there now, with the smells of food blowing in on the light breeze that did little to stop him from sweating. Balloon animals were evidently being made somewhere, as kids came passing by with them, and the tents with information on programs were finally getting some attention from interested patrons. 

Twice Seth re-tied his bun, occasionally prodding Drew or Dolph to find a size of shirt from a customer. In the crowd, he could see Hunter and Stephanie, running around or directing people to specific areas of the fundraiser. They were apparently too busy to bother Seth about any Water X class he might have bungled and he was content enough to sit behind the table and watch Finn become rather overwhelmed by the amount of tickets he was selling as a queue began to form. Whenever he wasn't talking, his mind wandered over the constant worry of his inheritance and the enormous check he could receive the moment he had a clear answer. 

Seth wondered what he would have done if it was a million dollars. Frankly, the actual sum of money was still so incomprehensible to him that he wasn't sure if it would have mattered. The reality of fixing up the farm and turning it into something profitable would take a significant chunk of money. Land had to be maintained after all, so unless Seth wanted to carve up the acreage, he had to find some way to make money off of it. 

_ I want solar panels _ Seth thought randomly, staring at the signage in front of him full of buzzwords like  _ sustainable _ and  _ progressive _ . Seth had no idea if it was even possible to get enough sunlight in Iowa to keep the lights on in the farm house, but if he had the money, he'd certainly find out.

Pulled prematurely out of his daydream, Seth blinked when he spotted his boyfriends coming through the crowd an hour ahead of their due shift time. They seemed rather indifferent to their surroundings, likely thinking of their work responsibilities before any recreational activities as they regarded the canvas tents. Both men had sunglasses on and Roman was sweating hard and eating some snack from a little plastic tray as they walked to the front through the crowd.

"You're early," Seth noted, feeling fidgety and strange with Dolph and Drew watching just a foot away. "House get boring?"

"Kevin missed you," Roman mumbled. Seth blinked and looked down realizing Dean was carting around the Yorkie on a leash. Kevin was eagerly sniffing anything he could and sneezing, happy to be outside. "You want a banana fritter?"   


"Mmm?" Seth looked up and held out his hand for one of the little treats Roman was snacking on. Trying his best not to get crumbs on any of the membership forms, he popped it in his mouth and it was as delicious as expected. 

"It's bigger than last year," Dean said, letting the leash drop so Kevin could visit him under the table. "But last year that had that tilt a whirl thing instead of a bounce house."

"Yeah but it kept breaking down, 'member?" Roman smirked, looking to Seth. "You good? Thought you might want a break for a second."

Dean looked to Seth and for a moment, it felt awkward, like he was supposed to be reading in between the lines of something. Drew and Dolph were just looking at their phones again and the crowd at the front had thinned enough where it probably didn't matter. 

"I'm fine, gunna leave in an hour anyway," Seth shrugged, toying with the walkie talkie. Dean drew his gaze away and looked at the floor but Roman tilted his head in a sort of come-hither way. 

"Let's grab some grub quick, Dean'll watch it." Roman mumbled, motioning. 

"Didn't you just eat?" Seth scoffed, sliding out from behind the table all the same. Dolph raised an eyebrow. 

"You know me," Roman laughed, "C'mooooonnnn,"

They walked away and Dean sank into the chair and pulled Kevin onto his lap to sit. Seth felt a little strange, almost as though he was a kid being called to the principle's office. Roman cut through the slim crowd easily and soon they were on the outskirts of the maze of tents, able to travel freely wherever they wanted. Roman apparently didn't really have a food agenda, but turned to Seth questioningly. 

"Are you hungry?" he asked, pointing to the trucks.

"Not really," Seth said, looking around and hoping his bosses weren't watching him. "Already ate."

"I just wanted to talk for a sec is all," Roman admitted, continuing to walk down the pavement toward the cars in the lot. Seth stalled, feeling a little vulnerable and frantic.

"About what?" he asked.

"Nothing crazy," Roman said, looking honest and casual. For Seth, that didn't mean much. He still sort of had to work and if it was something that required any kind of privacy, he just didn't want to wind himself up. Roman motioned again and Seth followed reluctantly, his mind spinning on any variety of topics that his boyfriend might want to discuss.  _ Did he know about the inheritance somehow? Did they read his emails or something?  _

"Car's still kinda cool," Roman said, popping himself into the backseat and pushing his large frame across the car so Seth could join him. Seth's dark eyes momentarily gazed across the lot, hesitant to sit with his boyfriend in the Jeep and risk someone like AJ making assumptions. Luckily, there weren't many people coming or going in their lineup of vehicles and so he pulled himself in, minding his right knee. 

"Okay," Seth said, shutting the door and turning to his boyfriend as his heart raced. "What?"

The car was really weirdly quiet and everything outside was muffled. For the first time, Seth allowed himself to really look at his boyfriend, now that he wasn't trying to hide his relationship in front of co-workers. Roman looked a little tired and bedraggled, but mostly calm and collected in comparison with how Seth felt. His beard was sort of overgrown, but Seth couldn't detect the Miller-Lite smell he'd whiffed the last few days. Really, Roman just looked sympathetic and earnest to share, in his element.

"Me and Dean went out and talked a lot last night," he prefaced, hands on his thighs, chest tall. "Like, just about a ton of stuff, but also about how things have been going and the vacation and all that." he cleared his throat and Seth felt himself going pale. It didn't  _ sound _ bad, but Seth felt a twinge of jealousy, like he'd missed out on some big moment. 

"It was really good!" Roman said, chuckling softly as he probably saw Seth's eye's widen. "No, it was just like, a sort of long night and I probably got more out of Dean than he was expecting, but we talked about how much we liked the whole trip and how we want to plan another one and how rotten it was that your grandpa passed away on the tail end of it. Like, I think looking back on that situation, I don't know if we like, were the best boyfriend's about it."

"...Yeah?" Seth said with confusion. He wasn't really sure why Roman had pulled him away from the fundraiser for this, but he was listening. 

"I think, we just wanted to let you know that we're sorry if we like… weren't there for you like we needed to be. Dean was saying that he felt bad like he wanted to fly out to Iowa and be with you, but I think in that moment we just didn't know what you would want or what was the best thing to do." Roman said, watching him carefully. "I feel like, you know… since you've been back. Since we've all been back it's been kinda hard to get back in the rhythm of things and… you always sort of lean toward doing everything yourself. But like, I want you to feel like you can come to us and we're there, even if we weren't like… the best at the time, you know?"

Seth felt weird, obviously touched and sort of pleasantly surprised, but also at a loss for what to say. He looked down at the seat, at the sun pushing shadows and light through the leaves of the trees above them, dappling his thigh. He hadn't really had any misgivings towards his boyfriend's about how the situation had transpired, but Seth supposed it was a nice thought. 

"I know it's hard too, and like, you're doing a lot better than you were about coming to us about stuff." Roman said, making Seth's heart ache horribly. "Like, with your knee, that was a lot more stressful. Me and Dean aren't mad at you or anything and we know that like, you're not just gunna feel better all at once. You can take your space and whatever you need, but we just want to make sure you're okay when it's cool to ask."

"M'okay," Seth sighed hard, unable to look back up at his boyfriend. He was duty bound not to cry about this, but he sank down against Roman's thigh and exhaled hard, melting under the hand that soothed his scalp, rubbing tenderly. It was impossible to describe how fucked up and guilty he felt… like he was lying. Mostly because he was, in the sense that he wasn't being forthcoming with information, but Seth still wasn't going to have the inheritance conversation in the back of the Jeep.

"We love ya a lot." Roman said softly, undoing his bun and letting the hair flow in a frizzy mess around his knuckle. Seth readjusted so he was fully sprawled into Roman's lap, feeling sweaty as the car fully lost it's air conditioning. "Dean loves you so damn much, all he wants to talk about is you."

"'That so," Seth breathed, nuzzling his face fully into Roman's jeans, trying to block out all source of light. Every time his boyfriend touched him it made his spine tingle. 

"Yeah," Roman said, chuckling. "He told me how happy he was that you got him to go snorkeling. He really liked that and he wants to do it again."

"What else did you guys talk about?" Seth asked, feeling the strange, irregular hesitancy to discuss himself. As annoyed as he could be about Roman and Dean having intimate, cool, like affirming conversations without him, Seth mostly was just happy no one was mad at him.

"Talked about a bunch of shit, like everything." Roman said, racking his brain. "We were talking about maybe doing a road trip next year around his birthday or somethin'. He hasn't gotten to travel much before so he wanted to do something maybe like camping in a state park or going somewhere sorta off the grid a little where we could hike out if your knee was stable enough."

"I'd like that," Seth said, sure that if they let Dean pick a vacation they'd all be hunting bigfoot or something. He grinned against Roman's jeans.

"Yeah… but Dean was also saying how much he like, really liked _ this _ . Like how he feels weird a lot because he feels like it's not real or something. I think he was sort of kiddin', but I feel like appreciation is sort of putting it lightly. I guess when you grow up really rough… well… he probably didn't ever think about something like this. Makes sense."

Seth didn't say anything, lost in thought but remembering back to when he and Dean had talked during their drive to the Keys about his family and the less than rosy aspects of his childhood. It wasn't anything super new to Seth, but he nodded along anyway, eager to hear what Roman had to say and sure that he needed a moment before he returned to the fundraiser. 

"But… yeah… I just wanted to check in with you… about how you're doing." Roman asked, stroking right behind his ear and matting the hair flat. "I know you were close with your grandpa… and it's like I said… I don't need you to pretend to be happy when you're not or nothin'... but if you need help with stuff. Or like, with work stuff. Sami called me about the class this morning-"

"There's a lot going on… just… with my family," Seth edged out, immediately feeling panicky and drawing back in. "I don't really wanna talk about it, I just… it's more than what it looks like and I feel like I'm... " Seth sighed hard. "It's just gunna take some time. I'm sorry they called you."

"That's okay," Roman said, extending his arm out to give Seth's back a little rub. "Just didn' want to not get to talk to you today… miss you."

"I miss you too," Seth said, sitting up and turning in Roman's lap. Roman smiled his heart-melting little grin and stared back, upside down at him. 

"This car is really hot," Seth said distractedly, feeling sweaty and gross. Roman nodded. "Can you do me a favor when you guys get home tonight?"

"Yeah, of course," Roman said.

"How late will you guys be?" Seth asked, his eyebrows knitting together. "When you get home, I need you to fuck me within an inch of my life." Roman choked with laughter. "Like, brutal."

"O-okay," Roman laughed. 

"I woke up so fuckin' horned out this morning it ruined my day," Seth exaggerated. "And NO ONE would fuck me."

"I'm sure I would have fucked you if I was awake." Roman laughed, patting his chest and eagerly touching Seth's neck and beard with a light, flirtatious hand. "I didn't want to bother you!"

"Your dick could never bother me," Seth said firmly. Accepting a kiss on the nose and letting Roman help him get up so his knee wouldn't be unnecessarily rattled. 

"Then can you… flip the laundry for me when you get home?" Roman asked. Seth huffed, half rolling his eyes while his boyfriend laughed in his face. "I'll rip your taint out if you can do that."

"Gross. Deal," Seth snorted, accepting another sweaty kiss to his nose. It was getting really toasty and gross, but he didn't move for a few more minutes. Feeling marginally better, if not emotionally exhausted again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little two-parter to make up for some missed mondays. It's fun to write a chapter with a little bit of everyone in it, but Seth's still a bundle of problems so it's hard to get away from that. Some folks were commenting on Dean being a little remote, but he's a complicated man! I feel like he really gets his time to shine again towards the end of this story when everything comes to a head. During the vacation, he was a lot more attached to his boys because he was in an unfamiliar environment. Plus, when things are easy, it's always easier to be involved in a relationship.
> 
> All the same though, thanks for reading and commenting. I only have two more travel dates lined up for this year, but who knows what'll happen, you know? I feel like I do my best writing on Sundays when I'm hungover. Hopefully I can be more consistent going forward. We broke 200k words again. God this fic is huge. 
> 
> <3 Strykelass


	33. Good Hygiene

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seth receives a gift and experiments with a new method of preparing for sex. Dean crosses something off his bucket list.

After the talk, leaving the fundraiser was easily the best part of his day and Seth might have skipped to his car if his knee allowed it. His boyfriend's weren't mad at him, and though he felt a little strange about the two having such an intimate conversation without him, Seth forced himself to just concentrate on the positives. Things were okay between them. Once the fundraiser was over, they could all circle up and refocus a bit. 

"Got everything?" Dean had asked as Seth took his dog and accepted his bag from across the table. Dolph and Drew were both gone now, replaced by Randy who was tipped back in his seat, uncaring. Seth just nodded quick and actually pursed his lips in a sort of air kiss, grateful for his boyfriend holding down the fort. 

"I'll see you at home," he muttered, holding out his fist. Dean bumped it with his knuckle and Seth walked off, feeling an immense weight lifting off of his shoulders, finally finished with a day's work. It was only a little after noon and there was still plenty of daylight.

"Hey Seth!" Hunter called, before he could really make his way across the parking lot. Seth bit his lip, hoping that his dog might be a good enough excuse not to stay much longer. Turning around, Seth could see Hunter was talking to the same bald man that he'd been conversing with earlier, as well as a darker skinned young guy that looked to be in his early twenties. 

"How'd your day go?" Hunter asked as Seth came closer. "This here is my friend Kurt, he works with OSU's aquatics program."

"Good, good, uh, great to meet you." Seth said, shaking the man's hand. The younger man between them looked awkward and shook Seth's hand as well, like he wasn't sure what he was doing.

"This is my son Jason," Kurt said, half smiling to make the situation less clumsy. "Hunter tells me you helped out with a lot of this after you had a knee reconstruction and you couldn't lifeguard."

"Yeah, uh, it's been a lot of work, but he has a great crew around here," Seth said, nodding to his boss. "He lets me hobble around and do what I can."

"Well great job," Kurt Angle said, looking to Hunter and picking up the thread of a previous conversation. "I won't keep you too long here, I'll just run out to my car and go grab it."

"Sounds great," Hunter said, waving to his friend and nodding to Jason who followed after his father. He turned to Seth and regarded Kevin with a fond smile. "Thanks for all the hard work."

"No prob," Seth said, wiping sweat from his forehead. "Glad the weather didn't mess things up."

"Yeah we got a little lucky with that," Hunter said, looking at the ground as though he was thinking how to phrase his next sentence. "You're coming in Monday then, right? We'll have stuff to wrap up for this, but I want to talk about that position and how today went."

"Uh… yeah sure," Seth said, wondering if he should mention the group class. "Let's plan on that."

Kevin was happily helped into the seat of the Cadillac and Seth immediately rolled down his windows and turned on his AC, looking for some kind of relief from the hot sun. He could deal with any work issues next week when he was actually being paid to agonize over them. Driving home now and playing some Blink 182 over the stereo, Seth was eager to be home in the empty house. Hopefully Dean and Roman wouldn't be too tired when they got done cleaning up the event to talk and relax in addition to the thorough fucking Seth thought he was due for. 

The carpet cleaner had come, and the whole house smelled fresh and cool upon opening the front door. As Seth toed out of his shoes and entered the house, he sighed at the sight of clean countertops and an empty recycling bin. All the surfaces had been wiped down and there wasn't any clutter.

" _ Fuck _ yes," Seth said happily, striding to the fridge for a glass of water. The only thing that was on the kitchen island was Dean's knitting bag and a simple envelope. The pictures from their vacation had been attached to the fridge doors with magnets. 

Drinking greedily from his glass and examining the random envelope, Seth frowned, wondering what it could be. Kevin continued dragging his leash around on the floor until Seth stooped down to detach it from his collar, but he turned the envelope in his hand and noticed it wasn't sealed. Without hesitation, he opened it and blinked at a single piece of printer paper with a simple notice and a barcode. Seth's eyes widened and he blinked as he saw his name at the bottom. Apparently, one of his boyfriend's (undoubtedly Roman) had purchased him a massage at a spa called  _ The Woodhouse _ . 

Without thinking, Seth took a picture and sent it to their group chat, grinning from ear to ear as he examined the gift certificate, which accounted for a  _ Gentleman's 50-Minute Deep Tissue Massage.  _ Seth had never gotten a professional massage before and had never really aspired to get one, but certainly wouldn't turn down such a gift. Roman really was wildly thoughtful anyway, purchasing Dean the Amazon gift card when he had had his car troubles. His whole body felt light and giddy and he absently touched his knee, wondering if the joint would cause him any limitations.

**Did i tell u to open that?** Roman messaged back, making Seth's whole body freeze for a moment, suddenly ashamed until he sent his next message:  **U dork. Do u like it?**

**Sorry** Seth sent back  **Yes!!!!!**

He didn't get a response, but Seth was sure it was because his boyfriend's were actually busy at work, keeping the fundraiser in order. It wasn't as though Roman could really be upset with him for looking into an envelope that was left out for anyone to see. But just to be sure, Seth made it a priority to flip the laundry as his boyfriend had suggested. With enough time, he could fold all their jeans and work shirts and after doing some PT exercises, Seth idled, feeling invigorated. Because the house was mostly clean and the fridge was stockpiled with enough food for the week, there weren't any real chores or errands to do. After checking on the chickens and poking around Roman's garden, Seth resigned himself to playing Madden for a few hours and snacking on some Veggie Straws that Dean hadn't found appetizing.

**When will u guys be done?** Seth texted to the group chat in the early evening, thinking that he might just take a nap or something. Roman didn't have a lot of books around the house and he didn't feel like being outside in the humidity to take any walks with his dog.

It took twenty minutes for Roman to respond, and Seth was feeling even more fidgety, touching the inside of his thigh and wondering if he would be too spent to perform well if he jerked off twice that day. 

**Pretty soon its thinning out** Roman replied  **We just need to break down the tents and put them inside**

Tossing his phone down, Seth went to the bedroom with a strange sense of determination and opened up Roman's wicker chest. The menagerie of sex toys and accessories was haphazardly mixed, presumably from when Roman had unpacked from the trip and tossed his arm binder, cock rings and anal trainers they'd taken to the Keys. Eyes turning over the various dildos and restraints, Seth was sure they'd used almost all of them at some point now, usually on himself or Roman as Dean didn't seem to care for anything outside the realm of rough handling.

Grabbing one of the reasonably sized anal trainers from a plastic box, Seth thought he could at least get himself ready if he was just going to sit around the house. He hadn't used one of the trainers in ages and he knew he was going to insist on getting the wind knocked out of him. Still sorting through the box, his hands danced over a dark plastic bag with unknown contents. Seth had already meddled with the envelope on the table, and knew Roman didn't really mind his boyfriend sorting through his toys. Feeling mischievous, he dug into the bag, expecting some other kinky accessory he could possibly use on himself.

An unassuming bottle of lube was in the bag, along with some turkey baster looking tool that Seth realized was a water douche kit. He blinked, thinking carefully as he held the douche in his hand, next to the plug. Seth hadn't actually douched properly before sex in his life, mostly because his first few sexual encounters with Dean and Roman had been so random that he hadn't put a lot of time into ensuring he was perfectly clean. Seth always took care to use the bathroom and generally practice good hygiene, but he'd never cleaned himself  _ that  _ thoroughly. Where he'd initially been a little grossed out about some bodily fluids, usually after sex when the illusion of it all had passed, he'd more or less stopped caring. Dean never cared, and Roman usually just took care to keep baby wipes by the bed for convenience sake. 

In his last relationship, Seth had been a bit of a prick about the whole thing, basically insisting on Marek cleaning himself out as much as possible if they wanted to have sex. Looking back on it now, Seth felt particularly awful, sure that he'd likely made his ex-boyfriend really self conscious about something that wasn't a huge deal. His change of heart was a testament to how comfortable he now felt around Dean and Roman, who were much more likely to tease him about the slutty noises he made than a little messiness downstairs. 

Nevertheless, Seth was intrigued, turning the douche over in his hands, inspecting it. He had the time and sort of knew what he was doing. He was sure he wanted to shower anyway, so Seth grabbed the douche and the trainer and went to the bathroom, eager to try the tool out.

But again, mostly just to be sure that he was okay to use the kit, Seth took a photo of the douche in his hand and sent it to the group chat to be sure. Asking  **may I?** With a little black heart emoji.

**What** Dean messaged after a minute or so. Seth sat on the toilet on the meantime, using his phone to find a helpful and hygienic list of instructions he could follow to get himself clean. Seth snorted, wondering if he should even bother explaining before Roman could fill him in.

**Where was that?** Roman asked, with a variety of laughing emojis.  **Go to town lil uce**

"Sweet," Seth said out loud, standing up and setting his phone down. With permission granted, he inspected the douche again, locating where the nozzle popped off so he could fill the base with water. The kit was brand new and Seth quickly filled the bell with water before kicking off his pants and trying to think about the best way to put it inside himself. According to his handy guide he'd found on some online sex toy shop, he could expect a few passes before he was completely clean…

* * *

Roman and Dean were more dirty than tired upon arriving home, and although they were a little later than the initial 'hour or so' that had been projected, Seth was glad he'd had the extra time to prepare himself. His hygiene experiment had taken longer than he'd thought, and Seth definitely had wanted enough time to clean out the kit and put it back before his boyfriend's got home.

"I'm gunna hop in the shower quick." Roman declared as soon as he'd returned and taken off his shoes. Seth had plopped himself down on the couch, feeling luxurious in his boyfriend's bathrobe and fidgeting around an anal trainer. Though his wet hair might have made him look a little bedraggled, Seth hoped his trimmed beard and pubic hair would impress. 

"Did you put water up your butt?" Dean asked, almost impressed as he observed his boyfriend, watching TV. Seth snorted, wincing a little at his boyfriend's candor.

"I'm  _ clean _ , if that's what you mean," he said, resisting his blush. From the bathroom, he could hear Roman running the shower tap. "You should go rinse off too."

"I'll wait for Uce, he's too big." Dean muttered, sitting on the armchair to take off his shoes. For a few moments, Seth just watched his boyfriend's progress, hardly interested in some roundtable ESPN discussion on baseball. He smelled like sweat and his tanned skin looked a little pink from the sun.

"Uce talked to me," Seth said, sure that Roman had probably already mentioned it. "Seems like you guys had fun the other night."

"Mm? Yeah," Dean sighed, scratching his cheek and staring at the TV. "We went to Joe's."

"Uce… seem okay then?" Seth asked, positive that Roman couldn't hear them. "You were talking about how he was drinkin' and whatever. He didn't really mention any of that stuff to me… just says that you guys talked."

Dean was quiet for a moment and Seth sort of wanted to turn the TV off, just so his boyfriend didn't have the excuse of staring at it. However, in typical Dean fashion, he seemed to be thinking through his answer, tonguing the words against his lips before proceeding.

"Yeah, I didn't really get into it too much. We were both havin' beers anyway, but I told him that we both had noticed it and I think I just wanted to know like, if he was deciding to do it or not." Dean shrugged. "It's not like he's doing anything crazy or spending all his money on it or anything-"

"Yeah, yeah I know," Seth said defensively. Dean shrugged. 

"He just said that it was sorta a habit after the vacation and then going to his parent's place. They just drink a lot in general there. But he said he's gunna cool it just 'cause its not healthy and whatever." Dean said, turning his head to Seth. "That good?"

"Y-yeah, of course," Seth said, nodding his head. "Thanks… for talking to him."

"No big deal," Dean muttered, sinking back into the chair and sighing. "Kinda want a beer myself though… I think we're out now. Uce didn't want to buy any more."

They were silent for a moment, with Seth feeling sort of vulnerable and overstimulated by the trainer in his ass and Dean's own low level hum of energy. Now that they were all home again and in the mix of life, Dean seemed a lot more closed off than he'd been on their vacation. Perhaps he was just tired, but Seth wondered if he wasn't in one of his sort of 'blue' moods that usually meant he played Shooter Jennings loudly on their bluetooth speaker and visited with the chickens as long as the heat would allow. 

Grabbing one of the decorative pillows on the edge of the couch, Seth tossed it at Dean's side and it landed on the floor with a soft _flump_. Half smiling, Dean turned and surveyed Seth with calm curiosity. Seth outstretched his hands and let his head tilt to the side, the universal sign of  _ come cuddle me, I need attention _ . With a teasing slowness, Dean rose from the chair and transferred to the couch, sticking a knee between Seth and the backrest and sliding in over the top of him. 

"I'm dirty," Dean admitted, looking down at Seth's chest that was falling out of the bathrobe a little from being jostled. Seth could smell sweat and sun on his skin. "How you doin' boo?"

"How'my doing?" Seth laughed quietly, watching his boyfriend take his hands and put them on his chest. His heart fluttered, extremely pleased. Dean leaned into him, steepling his chin over their hands with his hips in the air, eyes looking at him with a goofy, overly attentive intensity.

"Yah," Dean said, little ginger beard hairs tickling the back of Seth's hand. "I like being the one that's quiet… you can't be all quiet too."

"Says who?" Seth laughed, feeling sort of like he was under a microscope with Dean so close to his face. It was a little uncomfortable, but Dean's eyes were so sweet and blue, he didn't want to insist on moving. His boyfriend's hand moved through his damp hair and he seemed to change subjects, following his attention span.

"Weird havin' you be all brown again," He said. "Miss the blonde."

"You were the only one," Seth laughed, eyes turning to the formerly bleached side of his head. "It was getting all broken and stuff. Had to do it."

Dean continued to fidget and Seth was highly aware of the toy in his ass and Dean's downturned eyes, obviously conflicted and full of some sort of desire, but too confused to compute. Instead he just stared and Seth's own hands massaged Dean's chin, rubbing in his beard. Seth wasn't opposed to talking with his boyfriend, but it was never really easy. He supposed drinking some beers had probably helped Dean and Roman talk out… whatever it was that they had said. But Seth wished his boyfriend felt comfortable enough to do so without any social lubricant. 

The shower stopped and they could hear Roman walking from the bathroom to the bedroom, toweling off. Seth leaned in and kissed Dean on the lips. For all that he wished, he knew Dean was better than when they'd first started dating. Leaps and bounds really. 

"Go wash up," Seth instructed. Dean kissed him back before he sprang up, as if to have the last word. Seth cautiously found himself to his feet, resisting the urge to hum around the plug in his ass. His thighs were a little moist from lubricant, and he was hoping he didn't get any on Roman's bathrobe.

"Was looking for that before I remembered you had it on," Roman laughed, gesturing at Seth's attire as he fumbled around the bedroom, still slightly wet. Between Dean laying all over him and the sight of Roman's large, naked frame before him, Seth was nearly fully hard, winking around the plug. Something about it felt feverish and he watched with slight confusion as his boyfriend slid into a pair of briefs, his perfectly rounded backside falling out of the fabric. 

" _Why_ ," he mumbled, teetering to Roman's back and pressing his face to the clean skin. "No clothes…"

"Yeah?" Roman purred, turning around and holding Seth around the waist. A tangle of wet hair flopped down, but Seth didn't care. It had been so long since he'd used one of the trainers, he'd sort of forgotten how needy and frantic it made him. The tip of the toy just barely grazed his prostate on occasion and he needed  _ real _ contact, some kind of momentum to put him over.

"I put'n a plug," Seth admitted, swallowing hard as Roman hummed with pleasure, rolling his hips in his hands over the top of the robe. "You guys took too long…"

Roman just kissed him, not quite as creative as Dean to come up with some string of salacious dirty talk. More than anything, Seth needed touch and Roman began to peel him out of the robe, beards rubbing hard, wet hair flopping around their shoulders in earnest. A careful hand came to Seth's backside as soon as it was available and Seth shuddered hard, knocking his teeth against his boyfriend's as the hand grazed the plug where it sat. 

"How big is it?" Roman asked breathlessly, taking Seth by the hand and easing him onto the gigantic mattress. Letting himself moan a little, Seth just shook his head, blinking hard. 

"Not… too big…" he said stupidly, watching Roman lay beside him and leaning in to mount him carefully. "It's been a while… didn't want to hurt…"

"Should put in another one," Roman said slyly, getting up again and leaning over to open up the wicker chest. Seth just moaned, flopping ass up and breathing hard, trying to mentally support himself through whatever toy Roman picked out. Within two sizes, Roman held up one of the larger trainers, and then playfully put it by his own hard cock for a frame of reference. It was close, and so Roman went for the lube by the bedside and put a hand to Seth's thigh in preparation.

"Let's see how well you cleaned up," he laughed, lovingly putting a hand to the inserted toy and beginning the process of drawing the trainer out. Seth screwed up his face and panted, unsure about what exactly would happen. He thought he'd been pretty thorough, but it was his first time and all. Not like his boyfriend would scold him, but he was curious to know if the laborious task had actually made a difference.

"Clean?" Seth panted, spitting hair out of his mouth as Roman went about sliding the new toy in. Seth groaned, now feeling the plug really butt up against his happy spot, blindly knocking him around and making his legs and belly quiver. 

"Yeah yeah, you're good!" Roman said, giving the toy a playful little pat and making Seth gasp hard. For a moment, it was like his legs didn't want to move at all, pinned in place by the possibility of bursting with pleasure. However, after a few careful breaths and Seth was able to shuffle onto his boyfriend's front, wiping drool from his mouth.

"Sexy thing," Roman grunted, pulling Seth in for another kiss and lightly rubbing his fuzzy thighs. Seth panted against his open mouth, raw and exposed as he ever was and feeling the wonderful blankness of it all in his mind. As soon as Dean got out of the shower, they were going to fuck each other into oblivion and Seth wanted to go as long as he could. 

Feeling charitable, and trying to impress upon his partner the seriousness of the situation, Seth's hands crept up to Roman's neck and began feeling around carefully. As if enchanted, Roman let out a hoarse moan and his dick began to fatten up against Seth's leg, warm and wanting. Looking down, Seth could see his lover's eyes go from sweet and engaged to hungry. His pupils engorged, mouth gaped slightly, Seth began to pinch up into the area Roman had showed him before, that precise point that put spots in his vision.

Roman fidgeted and licked his lips and Seth increased the pressure, asserting himself until Roman's large hand gave him a quick  _ pat-pat-pat _ on his knuckle and Seth released, watching his boyfriend cough lightly before nearly concussing him with the force of a kiss that was mostly bites. 

Seth squeaked a little and Dean came in from the bathroom, watching and giving his dick a few tugs in the doorframe. 

"Stretchin' out?" he asked, in reference to the anal trainer that was entirely present as Seth had his ass raised high in the air. Roman let his head flop back on the pillow, staring up at the ceiling in a daze as Dean came tumbling into the bed, still wet. The slight motion jostled the plug and Seth let out a huffy breath, trying to hold his arms wide enough to keep his frame supported. 

"Was thinkin'," Dean said, pushing back his own wet hair, "While I was in the shower. How much dick do you wanna take, Seth?"

"Both of you," Seth said breathlessly, feeling Roman poking his side and instinctively he leaned in a little, trying to push some of his weight toward his boyfriend's cock. "All of it, 'm'all clean… so…"

"What about… at the same time?" Dean tried, looking at Seth's hips and massaging himself at the thought. "Me and Uce together at once." 

"...How?" Seth asked, a little too far gone to do any real mental processing. He really needed someone to be touching him, making him feel less bare than he was at the moment. His knee felt surprisingly alright holding his weight and all of his anxieties had vaporized with the distraction in his bottom. Roman was still starry-eyed from being choked, but was listening clearly. 

"Whatever way you want," Dean said, reaching under Seth to give his dick a little attention, rubbing the head where he'd started leaking. "On your back's probably better. Me and Uce will fit in wherever we can."

Seth licked his lips and stared for a moment, trying to imagine what two dicks inside his ass might feel like all at once. It sounded daunting, like it could almost be dangerous, but he was already full up with the size of a perfectly fine cock and Seth knew he could push it a little. He'd never put that much in his ass before, but it had never been this clean either. The way that Dean was looking at him, Seth knew that he _really_ wanted to try it. It didn't take too much convincing.

"I need… time…" Seth admitted, moaning as Dean stroked a little more from his wrist, making his cock as big as it could get. At the same time, Roman patted his hip hard, pushing the trainer around, just enough to make him bite his lip. 

"Sure thing babe," Dean cooed, putting a hand to his ass as well. "We'll spread ya out."

It started first with Dean fucking him, face to face in his lap with Seth's dick all bunched up and messy between them. With the trainer out and Dean inside, everything seemed sharper and he woke up a little bit for the ride. Dean wasn't quite as big as the plug he had in, but the momentum and force of it all was enough to have him scrambling around and probably clawing through his boyfriend's hips as they bucked around on the bed. Roman watched and got them bottles of water from the fridge while Seth panted and moaned around, a little frustrated with just how easily Dean wound him up. It was all precision, and a little too quick for Seth to adequately handle each perfect blow. Sooner than he had anticipated, Seth began to seize up and feel his body clench, and at that, Dean immediately froze and started kissing him, putting a hard stop on any orgasm.

"Oh, _fuck_ you…" Seth breathed, slumping against his boyfriend's chest and feeling like he'd gotten a cramp in his side. It wasn't the worst feeling, but it sort of gave Seth a headache if he didn't sort himself out soon.

"Uce, where are them things at?" Dean asked, looking to Roman who was patiently drinking water and lazily stroking his own cock. Roman grunted and went to grab the next size up in anal trainer, making Seth whine.

He wanted to be _fucked_ , the trainer was all tease. Nevertheless, he flopped down and pushed his hips up in order for Dean to slide in a rather large toy. 

"Clean up good," Dean breathed, kissing Seth on each ass cheek before slapping the surface and making his stomach clench. He hissed and Roman pulled him in close. 

"You wanna choke me again babe?" He asked, with a hint on neediness in his usually guttural tone. Seth pushed back a tangle of sweaty brown hair and nodded, wincing from the effort of moving his hips into place. The new toy felt unyielding and wide, burning with every inch.

Dean sucked Roman off while Seth went between massaging Roman's chest and neck, then sticking his hand high enough to cut off the circulation where it mattered most. They worked in a careful tandem, with Seth relying on Dean's wet noises and Roman's own twitches and shakes to create a sort of pulsing chokehold. Roman would tap to give himself a break and occasionally cough while Seth just tried to keep himself present, the trainer rubbing hard in every direction. Twice, Seth let go of Roman a little early, sure that his boyfriend was losing too much color in his face to be healthy, and Dean seemed to taper off as well, denying any orgasm that came to close to the surface.

"You like that?" Dean asked, pumping the dick in his hands and coughing into his own shoulder from the effort of taking in Roman's cock. Seth watched for a few moments as Dean worked, perhaps not as efficiently as Seth could manage, but a fine enough effort to have Roman cursing under his breath. 

" _Goddamn_ ," he twitched, rutting against Dean's face and almost bucking Seth off his chest. "Fuck,"

Eventually, Seth was flipped around and the last trainer was removed in lieu of Roman's cock, ripe with Dean's spit and a measure of lube. Seth sat on it fast, feeling really shaky and strange without the fullness cradling him from the inside. Roman sat up a little and edged them closer to the front of the bed and Dean inspected the fit with his hands, pushing Seth's frog legs to the side.

"You want more, yeah?" he mumbled, patting Seth's lower belly and mussing with the happy trail of fuzz that had been trimmed specifically for that evening. Seth just nodded and exhaled hard, losing the thread of conversation as he rocked his hips around, looking for the best fit. Being so cleaned up, he felt incredibly confident, resting on top of his boyfriend's cock, letting the tip of it paint his walls in a soft circle. Roman moaned as Dean ran his finger parallel and pressed in with a smattering of lube, poking back and forth, making him burn.

"Uuegh…" Seth hissed, closing his eyes, and letting his hair fall right over his face in a mess. His whole body felt hot, his skin sweaty and very red. With a roll of his own hips, Roman curved his spine and Seth came to lay flat over him, sticking hard to the sweat on his chest and belly, but much more supported as Dean teased two fingers, prodding experimentally. 

" _Fuck_ yeah," he moaned, watching Seth's ass take to his hand slowly. To Seth, it was like a slowly increasing volume on an alarm or a single tone of a loud note. It was just more of the same, more force, more of _everything_. Both men crowded around him in a tight sandwich, breathing hard and fast.

"You good?" Dean asked, massaging Seth's leg and ushering his eyes open. Seth blinked, feeling a lot like the room was swimming. It was easier to just keep his eyes shut if he was going to manage this, his brain wouldn't have to process anything other than the effort of keeping relaxed under the pressure. 

"Doin' good babe?" Roman grunted, giving his chest a little pat. Seth swallowed and nodded hard.

"Put 't in," he croaked, chest and stomach rising and falling fast. "Fuck…"

With maybe the most amount of lube ever dumped on his cock, Dean crowded in, holding onto Seth's legs and joining Roman inside at an angle that favored no one. All three men exhaled and Seth swore he saw stars, it was so much, a perfectly unbearable amount of fullness. It felt like Dean and Roman were in his lungs, pushing everything out to make way for their sopping wet cocks. Seth's own dick couldn't take the harassment, soft and limp between his legs. It was a lot like being drunk, and as Dean slowly pivoted, Seth felt a little sick, unmoored until Roman grabbed his hands and pulled them high on his chest, keeping him in place.

"Yeah-" Dean spluttered. "Hold 'em,"

"Jesus christ," Roman mouthed against Seth's ear. Seth sniveled, spitting what he thought was hair out of his mouth, realizing there was nothing there. There was no acclimating to this, as his boyfriend's dicks only seemed to be growing larger from rubbing against each other. Roman couldn't even move, entirely reliant on Dean scooting a bare few centimeters back and forth to fuck. The noise was wet and distinct, but Seth couldn't even hear it, whiting out, losing one sense after the other as his brain counseled him to breathe in order to keep up with minimal function.

Somewhere in the darkness, Roman and Dean were there, each trying to helpfully guide him along with their own breathless fantasy. Though roman was mostly just grunting and Dean kept opening his mouth and letting out a sort of "Aha-ha" noise. Seth sucked air and exhaled like a horse, sure that his nose and eyes were running, making his eyelashes stick together and his beard sticky.

" _ Fuck  _ yeah," Dean bawled, making Seth's eyes roll and snap open. His pace quickened, and Roman held so tight to Seth that both of their knuckles were white. Roman bridged his hips a little and Seth felt like he fell out of time, past resisting the force that was plummeting inside him, suddenly milky warm and sharp, as his boyfriend's cocks seemed to change consistency.

It was a lot like waking up and Seth blinked a few times and let out a little cry when he found Dean sucking on his left nipple with one hand, tweaking the right one expertly in his hand. His ass seized up and he didn't even know if anything was in it anymore, but Roman was still underneath him, holding him tight.

"Seth?"

"Told you it would work," Dean said sluggishly.

"Hello," Seth said stupidly, swallowing hard and making Roman shudder with a little chuckle. His voice was ragged and small, sounding like it belonged to someone else.

"Scared us for a second, you okay babe?" Roman asked, tousling hair out of his face and massaging around his sternum. Seth nodded, blinking against the lights and trying to squeeze his bottom again to feel a little more normal. Roman was still inside him and tickled his belly a little with his hand, as though encouraging him to stop clenching hard.

"I got…" Seth breathed, still blinking hard. He felt sort of perfect, but absolutely brain dead. "I'm okay." 

"Mmm good," Dean said, nuzzling down again and continuing to suckle around at Seth's chest, enjoying the reverent little gasp as Roman sighed, pressing a kiss to Seth's temple. Dean was out of him now and so things were a little easier to grasp. Truthfully, Seth wasn't sure how he would feel being completely empty and he was glad Roman was just laying there. Though his boyfriend was probably a little sticky and uncomfortable with keeping his dick sheathed inside him, the anal trainers were out of reach so they were making due. Dean continued to fondle him and Seth felt his pleasure curling up inside him again, making his dick hard and building like a hard wave that was twice as high as when Dean had fucked him earlier.

"Oh _f-fuck_ ," Seth lisped, almost punching Dean in the head with the force of grabbing his boyfriend and shoving him down harder on his chest. His hips bucked and Dean shifted in order to begin rapidly jerking him off into his fist, biting the bud of his nipple and making him scream. "Oh fuck! Oh _fuck_!"

"Goddamn," Roman grunted shallowly, likely feeling his dick being suffocated in Seth's squirming ass. Seth saw white, accidentally biting his tongue and yelling as hot come covered Dean's hand, hip and Seth's thigh. It wouldn't stop, shaking him over and over as he vibrated between his lover's, making him ache. 

"Call that CPR," Dean grunted, falling right into Roman's other side as Seth gulped air with his eyes shut. "Holy fuck… that was the best sex I ever had…"

"It was crazy," Roman intoned, wiping his own face and examining their dirty laps. Very carefully, Seth could feel Roman withdrawing and he winced, feeling like his insides were jostling around with the lack of intrusion. 

"Oof, babe, you okay?" Roman asked, giving Seth a little shake and stirring him from his daze at his side. Seth blinked and realized Roman was examining his own dick, which had a little spot of fresh, red blood. 

"Oh, uh..." Seth felt his heart run cold and he tried to contract his bottom hard, feeling around as though he was testing something. With so much disruption, it was hard to say if anything was explicitly wrong. He was starting to feel really cold and kind of shaky, but the blood on Roman's dick was minuscule, hardly anything to cause real alarm.

"You got your period," Dean teased, also examining Roman's dick. 

"Probably just a little tear, I can look if you want," Roman said, putting his cleanest hand in Seth's hair and rubbing his scalp carefully. "Happens to the best of us," 

"I'm fine," Seth sighed, scooting in closer as he began to feel more cold. Roman was like a furnace as usual and Seth knew he needed some time to just sit and be still, letting his body adjust to the onslaught. Aside from the obvious roughhousing, he felt like his head was swimming too, an emotional torrent he wasn't capable of expressing, just between his eyes. Seth had just taken both of his boyfriend's at once and now he felt like his heart had been yanked out through his ass, making him dizzy.

"You're a nut," Dean said looking at Seth with admiration and disbelief. "You're fuckin' crazy."

"You've been wanting to do that for awhile," Roman laughed, looking to Dean. "Now you get to cross it off your bucket list."

"I fucked you both at the same time basically," Dean said, holding his arms above his head and bobbing his head like a chicken as he grabbed some baby wipes from the bedside table, wicking away come and sweat. "Fuck that was hot."

Seth barely heard them, scooting in as close to Roman as possible, feeling very hazy. Roman responded in kind, pulling him closer and kissing him on the forehead.

"Feel a little off? I bet that was a lot," he mumbled, accepting a little wipe from Dean and quickly cleaning Seth up where he was the most messy. He tutted as he found a little more blood by Seth's backside and kissed him on the nape of his neck, more impressed than anything. The post-sex hormone rush was a little like a sedative and Seth continued to insist that he didn't feel any pain in his bottom, but he felt incapable of speaking or articulating any thought as Roman fussed and pulled him in for a lengthy cuddle, smoothing his hair flat. That was at least, until Roman began to fidget and moved for a moment as he insisted he had to piss. Seth blinked and shivered in the sudden absence of touch, feeling indescribably raw and weird.

"Mmm, sorry if I fucked you too hard," Dean mumbled, easing into bed beside him and picking up where Roman had left off. Seth felt his body relax completely as Dean's breathing and fidgety touch pressed in beside him, keeping him warm. "Was it too much fun?"

"No i's perfect," Seth muttered against the pillow. "I'm just really cold now…"

When Roman returned, he smiled at them both, watching Dean connect Seth's shoulder freckles with his finger as the two were pressed together in bed. Kevin hopped up, glad to be allowed back into the bedroom and Roman slid in putting an arm around the both of them, keeping Seth company from all sides.

"Is it bedtime now?" Seth asked through closed eyes. He honestly had no idea what time it was and he heard Roman set down his phone on the end table. Fully insulated between both men, he felt perfect, worry free and empty. 

"Lil siesta," Roman said, yawning and turning off the light. "I set a timer for like 45 minutes."

Kevin came closer and Seth opened his eyes when he felt his dog press in, all manic energy to be pet. Roman scooped the little dog up and situated him by their head pillows, one of the sure places the dog would easily settle. Roman snored first, but Seth was sure he wasn't far behind, losing his sense of self between his bedmates and becoming one with the mattress. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Labor Day in the US! Enjoy the duo double penetration and kick your feet up. Thanks for the kind reviews on last chapter, Seth's alright! Next time, a little more is revealed and more things are sorted out as the boys have a moment to themselves. 
> 
> The shield seems to be back again, so I hope this hit the spot. Have a good week <3


	34. Cornflower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seth tries to sort his faculties and Roman helps wherever he can.

Sunday was another relatively swampy day, and the chickens could be seen through the sliding glass door, keeping to the shade of the backyard as much as possible. Crispy seemed intent on teaching the chicks how to properly burrow in the dirt from the garden, and little dust clouds could be seen kicked up into the air, floating over the fence. The sun shone behind the clouds, popping out at midday to be present among the wet humidity. 

Seth actually rose first, easing himself from between his lovers and gritting his teeth a little at the initial pain in his knee and backside. His hair hung in sweaty tendrils around his face and he blinked hard before padding off to the kitchen for coffee. Kevin skipped over to beg for food, and Seth shivered slightly, still naked as he scooped out a serving of kibble to his dog's dish. As he began to brew the coffee and wipe the sleep out of his eyes. His brain began turning on what he'd initially planned to do with his day.

_ Call the lawyer, talk to his mom… figure out… whatever he needed to figure out... _

Seth blinked, looking around, still dazed from sex and groggy from sleeping. The house hummed with the usual noises of the central air, the refrigerator and the kitchen tap leaking slightly. He turned the knob, trying to stop the tapping of water before letting Kevin outside to pee in the backyard.

It was absurd to think that he'd scarcely lived in Roman's house for more than two months, and the farmhouse in Iowa was what he was setting his sights on. Remembering back to what was really just  _ weeks _ ago when he thought about it, Seth had been struggling to talk to his boyfriends about moving into their space permanently. There had been a lot of anxiety, concerning Roman's family and his own mother, all giving their inputs and establishing what they thought was best for the situation. If anything could be agreed upon among the three men, they would still have to discuss this with their loved ones. Seth wasn't even sure he could properly worry over this yet, but he still curled his lip, remembering his mother's own hesitant reaction.

_ What would she think of Seth bringing Roman and Dean to Iowa? _ Seth stared out at his dog, hearing the coffee finally begin to drip into the pot. Would she be just mildly concerned? Or would she become stern? At this point, Seth knew it would break his heart to go alone if he absolutely couldn't convince his boyfriend's to come. Even if he went for a few months by himself just to set things up, he would be quite depressed at the prospect of not having them around.

From the bedroom, he could hear the low voices of Dean and Roman mumbling to each other and Seth just stood, naked in the kitchen space, feeling stupid. Before anything, he'd have to talk to the lawyer. Nothing came before that.

After letting Kevin back in, Seth brought coffee to his boyfriends in bed, supplying them both with the usual amount of creamer and sugar. With sun breaking through the window, Seth squinted, surveying the tangle of sheets, Dean's fair skin and Roman's mop of hair over the pillow case.

"Mmm," Dean hummed, taking his mug and sitting up. Roman did the same, thanking Seth as the three shivered slightly around their warm glasses. 

"How you feelin'?" Roman asked, looking to Seth. He just nodded, hoping Roman wasn't going to pester him about his ass.

"I'll know when I go to the bathroom I guess," Seth said, voice croaked from sleep. He fell into a little yawn and Dean grinned, looking to him with amusement. "What?"

"We  _ both  _ fucked ya," he said, as though he was still astounded. "With our dicks."

"Yup," Seth mumbled, still too half-asleep to think of a good come back. 

"Gunna jerk off all day thinkin' about it?" Roman asked, giving Dean's tented cock a sort of curious glance. Dean grunted, straightening the blanket over himself and drinking from his mug. 

"Gotta meet Luna and Sherri at their place in Eatonville. I think they want me to start helpin' em next weekend." He said, sighing. "Kinda just wanna be lazy… haven't really knitted anythin' in a minute. Been too busy. Renee wants to meet up too."

"That's cool," Roman nodded. "I was gunna clean up some shit in the backyard. Maybe call my mom. What do y'all want for dinner?"

"Grill," Dean said, unhelpfully. Seth snorted.

"I'm all outta propane and charcoal," Roman said, scratching at his chest. Kevin leapt onto the bed and Seth checked his dogs paws for dirt. "What're you gonna do today?"

"Mm?" Seth mumbled. Both of his boyfriends were looking at him with interest. "Uh… nothing really. No plans."

"Could use you in the garden," Roman suggested, nodding his head toward the backyard. "Place has been a mess since we all left."

"Yeah, maybe..." Seth said, uncommitted and sure of his plans to call the lawyer. "I might have some errands I gotta do. I'll check."

It was apparently later than Dean thought, and so he couldn't commit to breakfast as he stumbled into his jeans and murmured something about gassing up the Cadillac before he returned. Seth just nodded, waving his boyfriend out the door before he'd even put on a shirt. Roman was sorting through a few different tubes of cinnamon rolls he seemed inclined to bake, but Seth just poured himself another cup of coffee.

"I don't need anything," Seth shook his head. "I'll snack in a bit, but I'm fine."

"I could make eggs," Roman suggested, scratching at his beard. "Be  _ sorta  _ healthy."

"It's cool," Seth said, retreating to the bedroom. "Don't worry about it."

There hadn't had much reason to pull out his laptop since he'd moved, but now that Seth was supposed to be looking at documents over his email, he was sure that he didn't want to be squinting at a tiny screen. The coffee wasn't really helping him feel anymore qualified to examine the PDF's, but Seth drank heavily as his computer booted. Sitting on the bed with his poor leg outstretched, he wasn't really sure what to say when Roman came in, looking a little curious.

"I was gunna start in the yard after I eat. You wanna help? We could pump some tunes," he offered, slipping into a large Georgia Tech shirt he usually wore when he was outside getting his hands dirty. "Doin'... office work?"

"Uh…" Seth's heart immediately pounded hard, accelerated by caffeine. "There's some email stuff… I gotta look at. I dunno how long it will take."

"From work?" Roman asked, plainly interested. Seth began to shake his head, but paused in a blink.

"Y-yeah," he lied, nervously adjusting the screen on his laptop. "Hunter had some stuff he wanted me to do after the fundraiser. I feel like I'll be really busy tomorrow if I don't do it now."

"You should do it on the clock," Roman laughed, raising an eyebrow. "He paying you to work from home?" 

"N-no, I just…" Seth licked his lip, thinking hard and deciding to spin a little truth into his story. "He's well, uh, thinking about giving me a new position at work, like creating one for me. He doesn't really know much yet... but like, it would mean more money and probably more computer work stuff."

"For real?" Roman blinked, his smile widening. "That's great!"

"Y-yeah," Seth nodded fast, "It'd be salary anyway, so… I guess I kinda get paid from home." 

"Seemed like you were doin' a lot for him, just with all the stuff you've been helping with because of your knee. Damn," Roman chuckled. "Why didn't you tell me? Did you tell Dean?"

"Nothing is final yet, I dunno. My brain's just all over the place," Seth admitted, thinking to look a little bit more frustrated and apologetic than he actually was, just so Roman wouldn't give him too much grief. "Didn't want to jinx it I guess."

"Well, you do what you need to. You can use the table if you want, it's not too bad." Roman pointed to the kitchen table, but Seth just shrugged. 

"Bed's easier on my leg, it's cool," he mumbled, "Don't worry about me, I've got it."

"I'll be outside if you need me though," Roman grinned, heading for the door but obviously caught between his excitement for the situation. "Congrats babe, that's really cool. You excited?"

"Yeah, of course!" Seth said, trying to look natural and happy. "Thanks Uce."

Seth was certainly happy about the prospect of new responsibilities and upward mobility, but the obvious pressing matter was still his grandfather's will and legal proceedings. Immediately after his boyfriend left the room, Seth felt stupid, wondering why he couldn't just tell Roman that his mom had sent him some notices regarding his grandfather's estate and left it at that? Most people didn't stand to inherit obscene amounts of money from their relatives, and Roman would probably have the good sense not to ask him about it too much. The ease of lying ate at him, but Seth tried to focus, opening up his email and settling further into the pillows.

His mom had sent him a lot of emails, apparently one after the other as she seemed to be going through the checklist of executing the will. It took Seth twenty minutes of reading through the first email with the full will before he realized his mother had just sent him a copy for his own records. His own signature had been scanned in from the day they'd seen the lawyer, and Seth grunted, clicking out of the message and moving onto the next one. 

**Hey honey, this is the probate notice, I just have to send you this because I'm the executor. Love Mom**

Seth blinked, looking at another form, in similarly confusing legal jargon. He didn't really see anywhere to sign.  _ What did his mom even want him to look at? _

The third message was in regards to their estate lawyer's contact information. Seth pulled out his phone and dialed the number for Paul Heyman's law office. The best he could do would just be to explain his situation and ask for advice regarding what he needed. Outside, Seth could see Roman snacking on a piece of toast and walking around the rows of plants, surveying them carefully.

"Good morning, thank you for calling Heyman LLC," a secretary said in a quiet, almost tired voice. Seth opened his mouth, trying to find his words.

"Hi, uh, maybe you can help me. I was trying to call Mr. Heyman, he's working with my mom in regards to my grandfather's estate." Seth said, sitting up taller to re-examine the files in front of him. "She's the executor of the will and I just had a few questions-"

"Please hold," the woman's voice said. Seth closed his mouth, hoping that he sounded fairly intelligent. Every now and then, it occurred to him that there were people his age that were wearing suits and doing very well for themselves in these sort of structured environments. The lawyer was obviously a lot older than he was, but Seth still felt woefully inadequate. 

"This is Mr. Heyman." The lawyer's voice could be heard as the call transferred. Seth wet his lips and tried to compose himself as best as possible.

"Hello Mr. Heyman, this Seth Rollins, we met a little over last week regarding the estate of Donald Rollins, my grandfather."

"Ah, yes."

"Yes, so… I was calling in regards to the probate…" Seth said, thinking hard. "My mom, uh, Holly is the executor of the will, I'm just a beneficiary. It looks like she had sent me the form… the probate notice. I was just… I'm actually in Florida, so a lot of this is being done over email… so…"

"Was there anything specific you needed?" Mr. Heyman asked quickly. Seth blinked, trying to find his words.

"I haven't done this before," Seth admitted freely, "I'm a little confused about what I need to do. My mom was making it sound like I needed to sign something…"

"Well, if you can speak to your mother about this, that's going to be your best bet. There's only so much I can legally discuss on the phone regarding a case with a client-"

"Yeah, yeah, I understand, uh," Seth mumbled. He had wanted some kind of legal advice, but he was too stupid to even know what he was trying to say. "And, I'm sorry if I'm not asking the right questions exactly. I think I just don't really understand how this probate works, so I don't know what to expect."

"Certainly," Mr. Heyman said, taking a breath. Seth wondered if he was supposed to schedule a consultation for things like this. "In an informal probate, the executor will take responsibility for the estate by notifying the beneficiaries, creditors and debtors. Once they are notified, the executor will then begin the process of appraising the assets and collecting information for income tax returns."

"Okay," Seth said, still not entirely clear. It all just sounded like paperwork. "How much time does it take though?" 

"It all depends," Mr. Heyman said, with a little buoy of humor in his voice that Seth could only accept as condescension. "Some estates take years to close and distribute funds. What I would recommend Seth, is that you call your mother if you need additional clarity. I can't disclose specific details regarding where the estate is in the process, but if you want to challenge the will…"

"I don't think I want to do that," Seth said, though not entirely sure if he had to for any reason. It was becoming abundantly clear the longer he was on the phone that he should have googled some of this already. Watching Roman outside, Seth kept his voice down as a precaution, sure that his boyfriend couldn't hear. 

"In any case, give her a call first if you have specific questions. If she doesn't know something, she should call me," Mr. Heyman said firmly. "Have a good day, Seth."

The revelation of the lengthy timeline was sort of a relief as Seth took a moment to get up and walk around. His knee pinched slightly and he tested it, sinking into a quarter squat and wiggling his weight between the front and back of his foot. He also had to contact the sports medicine clinic soon and get back in the habit of seeing his physical therapist. But first, Seth would call his mom and see what exactly she wanted him to do with the forms in his inbox.

Striding to the bathroom and curious about how his backside was healing, Seth plopped onto the toilet and sighed, thinking hard. If he had a year to get his act together and propose this huge change with Dean and Roman, it was all the better. He knew that he didn't need to move into the house right away either, even if it was available. But what was really eating at him was the fear that his relationship wasn't quite  _ allowed _ to take that next step. It wasn't rational, but Seth had a strange paranoid anxiety that his inheritance would be revoked if he was upfront about his desire to live with two men. 

Other than his stomach feeling a little funny, it felt more or less normal to use the bathroom and he felt grateful that he wasn't bleeding. But Seth returned to the bedroom with a sort of weightless feeling in his chest, dreading the phone call he had to make. He'd agreed to get this all figured out and he had to, but he hadn't anticipated how shaky it would make him feel. Reconciling himself to judgement, Seth dialed his mother and sank back onto the bed, staring at the ceiling.

"Hello?" Holly's voice said after just a few short rings. Seth's heart beat faster and he turned so he could see Roman in the window. He hadn't texted beforehand, so he hoped she wasn't busy. 

"Hey ma, I called the lawyer," he began, sighing. "They can't really tell me anything because you're the executor. But I was looking at everything that you sent. Do I need to sign stuff? Or…"

"Not the beneficiary notice, no... that's just something they make me send so you know that I'm starting the probate." She explained, thinking hard. "I had it wrong too at first, I thought you needed to send me a proof, but it looks like it's alright. Did it all look okay though?" 

"I haven't got any idea what any of it means," Seth snorted, pulling the laptop to his side again and thinking about what Mr. Heyman had said. "I mean, it seems like we just have to wait, right? They look at the will and then when the court settles it, then it's distributed."

"You just need to wait until I can get the bond sorted out and then we can worry about making an estate bank account." Holly sighed, sounding almost robotic in her analysis. "I initially thought you'd have to be more involved in the beginning of the process, but really my role as executor means that I handle everything. I just want to make sure that you're aware and I can anticipate what you want to do… and everything."

"Y-yeah, and I appreciate all that." Seth said, taking a moment and pausing. Roman was looking very sweaty, mopping at his brow as he tossed clumps of dirt and grass into the wheelbarrow. "How… how have you been doing?"

"Oh, alright," Holly sighed, in the sort of way Seth knew belied a lot of other information. "I've been visiting with my friends and me and Bob have been going to some meetings at church. We're going to file all of the documents with the court next week and Mary Jo wants to visit again once the girls are out of school."

"That'll be nice," Seth said, without really feeling any way about it. He wished he was there to hug his mom and let her know how appreciative he was for having her to handle everything. 

"Yeah, we've been thinking about maybe having Arianne stay here for a month for a choir camp, but it all depends. We were talking about it after the new year and grandpa passing probably won't affect it much, but we'll see."

"She can have my room," Seth smiled. "Probably not nearly as nice as her's."

"How have you been though?" Holly asked, "I wish we could have had you here for longer. I know you were fairly stressed out about it when you left. Did you have some time to think on it?"

"Y-yeah, yeah I did," Seth muttered, feeling guilty. "Sorry I was a mess, I just… I didn't think that grandpa had all of that. It was… pretty shocking."

"I knew that he had played the stock market back when I was in college," Holly said thoughtfully. "But I met up with some of his friends from the mission that came to the funeral and they told me about some of the antiques he sold after your grandmother passed. He really wanted to help us out, Seth," she said firmly. Seth felt cold suddenly and he sighed hard, emotion bubbling to the surface. "You don't have to feel guilty for taking the money."

"I don't… feel guilty…" Seth said, trying to keep his eyes from watering. "It's just a lot to think about… I haven't-" he looked out the window again. "I haven't told Dean and Roman yet... about the money or the house."

Holly was quiet for a moment, and in his head, Seth could imagine his mother going to the living room to sit on the couch. She didn't seem angry or upset, but rather like she wanted to chose her words carefully.

"You just… don't know how to bring it up?" She tried, "Or…"

"I... don't know yet. Obviously it's kind of a lot… I don't want to just dump it on them unless I know how it's going to shake out." Seth explained, feeling raw and vulnerable. He swallowed hard and committed to his words, sure that if he was going to talk about this with anyone, it should be his own mother. "I'm freaked out that someone's like, going to exploit me I think… like… I didn't know what I was going to ask the lawyer, but it's been really hard trying to figure this out…"

"Nobody wants to  _ exploit  _ you," Holly said firmly. "Not… in the family anyway. God, if we had that money, all Bob would do is spend it on tailgating the Bears across the country."

"Which  _ would _ be a good way to spend it," Seth laughed, easily seeing his mother roll her eyes. "Yeah… well… anyway. I just… I want to tell them what the plan is so they aren't freaked out about it. I want to feel like I have a handle on the situation so I can reassure them. You met Roman's mom… she's kind of a control freak and Dean gets weird when he doesn't feel 100% right about something…"

"So, if you had it your way then, they _ would  _ move here with you..?" Holly asked carefully. Seth closed his eyes, fingers fidgeting with the duvet. 

_ Was he allowed to say yes? _

"For me, it's the best possible outcome," Seth said, clearing his throat. "I don't want to come back alone if I don't have to."

"But… you  _ would  _ even if you had to." Holly said, in what was probably supposed to be a question, but her tone made it sound like a statement. Seth paused.

"I don't want to throw away the house because of a relationship," he said, forcing some command into his voice. "But… I'm not going to break up with them… if... I don't have to."

"Alright," Holly said, breathing hard. It was very strange, as Seth couldn't tell what his mother wanted, but she didn't seem to be very upset with him. "Can you just… let me know if something changes? Really… if you don't end up wanting to move, we'll still go ahead with what's in the will, but it would just mean more work for me-"

"I'm going to move mom," Seth said quickly, though he was sure of his answer, the words still wrenched at him hard, as though he was definitively breaking up with his boyfriends. Technically, he would be making a sort of ultimatum, as Seth didn't really intend to enter into a long distance relationship without any hope for getting them all under one roof. It was a lonely thought, but Seth nodded, wanting to reassure his mother. "I miss you guys a lot," he said definitively. "Florida's great, but… it's not home."

"Well, discuss it with Dean and Roman then," Holly said, sounding a little more enthused. "Do you think… well… if one of them couldn't come…"

Seth blinked, trying to compute.

"If one of them couldn't come what?" Seth asked. "If one of them couldn't come would the  _ other  _ one come?"

"I don't know, I don't think you could answer until you talk to them about it," Holly said, sounding a little regretful that she'd asked. "I was just curious if you would have just Roman or just Dean. I'm not really sure how you all work..."

"I…" Seth sighed hard, sort of feeling like his chest was being ripped in half at the thought. "It doesn't work like that."

"Okay," Holly said, changing the subject fast. "Do you think... you could visit sometime this summer?"

They talked for a little while longer and Seth got up and paced around the house with the phone in his hand, watching Kevin run around with the chickens while Roman worked, elbows deep in dirt. For some time, he listened to his mother talk about her own goings on at work and with her friends, and like the good son that he was, Seth just listened and let her go on. Whatever solace he could've had with the explanation of the probate timeline had faded away as he felt confused by his mother's words. Even as the conversation strayed farther away from the inheritance, Seth started to feel as though his mother was embarrassed by him. 

How was she going to explain to her sister and friends that her son didn't have roommates, but was in fact bringing two  _ boyfriends _ to Iowa? That is, If Dean and Roman even agreed to do so. Really, Seth didn't want to care about what his mother had to rationalize to herself, as his relationship with his lovers was inexplicable, but wonderful. Nevertheless, Seth grew angry, wondering why he couldn't just live the life he wanted without having to answer to anyone.

Roman came in to get a drink and wash his hands, and Seth quieted, shuffling back to the bedroom to be alone. 

"Oh… I think Bob is calling me-" Holly said as Seth could hear her own phone vibrating through the speaker. He sighed, having just shut the bedroom door.

"Answer it, it's fine," Seth said. A hurried "I love you" was exchanged on both sides and he hung up, feeling stupid. 

Seth had time, things didn't have to be rushed and he could stop shaking from the prospect of it. But he didn't feel remotely engaged in the process, suddenly ashamed and frustrated for a different reason.  _ Was this all a big joke to everyone but himself and his boyfriends? Was everyone just waiting for them to wake up and grow out of it? _

A cloud came in front of the sun and the light inside the house dulled. Seth rubbed his eyes and sighed hard, trying to think of something that might make him feel better. The hardest part of it all, was just that the most reassuring, least judgmental person in his family had probably been his grandfather. Now he was gone, and Seth was left to contend with well-meaning but weary survivors who had less encouraging things to say. 

Seth remembered Roman's suggestion to freely talk to his grandfather as a means to cope with the grief, but Seth put the thought aside. Instead, he hopped up and put on one of his least precious tank tops and pushed his feet into some slip-ons by the back door. Upon hearing the door pushed open, Roman looked up from the patch of garden he was servicing and smiled behind a pair of plastic sunglasses.

"All done with work?" Roman asked, making Seth blink as he remembered his lie. Seth nodded, hoping that he looked sort of composed. His hair was still half-dirty, caught up in a sloppy bun. The humidity was so thick, he could already feel his skin tingling, preparing to sweat. 

"I'll help with something if you direct me," he said, just loud enough to be heard over the radio. Roman hopped up and led Seth to the northernmost patch of ground that was so overgrown with weeds, there was no telling what the plan had been for the earth.

"Me and Dean-o were talking about picking out some flowers for this spot, since there's mostly just veggies back here." Roman grunted as he turned and saw Crispy pecking around at the garden patch where their humble little vegetable plot was. He gestured fast and scared the bird away, sending her clucking toward the coop. "Dumb bird…"

"You just want me to weed it?" Seth asked, squinting against the sun. Roman nodded, pointing out where the plot was supposed to begin and end. He just needed a task, anything to take his mind off of what was going on. 

"Yeah, I got a pair of gloves back there on the table, you just want to make sure you get it out by the root. Your knee good?" Roman asked. 

"Yeah man," Seth sighed, raising an eyebrow. "Didn't you ask me to help?"

"Just… wanna make sure…" Roman said, wiping his brow. Seth could tell that he wanted to prod more, and he managed a smile, trying to keep his boyfriend from worrying. "What all did Hunter have you doing?"

"Just… boring shit," Seth said, sure that he didn't want to spend very long spinning some lie. It was hot, and his brain was already foggy from talking on the phone, inundated with information he wasn't sure he could handle. Instead he settled for the truth, or at least half of it. "I just was talking to my mom on the phone a second ago actually… wanted to make sure she was doing okay…"

"Yeah? How's she handling it all?" Roman asked. Seth walked to the table to grab the gloves while Roman resumed putting new chicken wire around the patch he was protecting from Crispy.

"Good, I think," Seth sighed, feeling a little better about the prospect of digging into some cool dirt. "My stepdad knows how to be there for her and pick up slack. Just wish I was there for them more."

"Did your grandpa have a lot of stuff they gotta deal with?" Roman asked, making Seth feel a little annoyed about having to lie again, wondering if he was just making this worse for himself in the long run. He crouched down on the ground and began investigating the weed situation, grabbing hard to pull up the foliage and dirt. 

"Sorta… they can handle that stuff though…" he half-fibbed, tossing the weeds aside to begin a pile. Seth didn't even really know what he was saying, letting his mind wander around what he thought Roman might want to hear and what Seth actually wanted to give voice to. 

He plucked a small pile of weeds before the radio went to commercial and he could feel Roman's eyes on the back of his neck, prickling lightly. 

"It's just… weird… thinking about how he's not there." Seth admitted finally, sure that he didn't need to clarify. "I never… got to tell him about us. I feel like he really would have liked you and Dean."

"He's still there," Roman said softly, making sure not to jostle leaves any louder than he could talk. "What he was for you, that hasn't gone away."

"Well... anyways..." Seth said, hoping his boyfriend wasn't going to get too spiritual on him. "He's not here  _ physically _ . I think now, thinking back on a lot of things, he was there for me when my mom couldn't… or like, when I was too filled with angst to know better. It was never weird… like… to talk to him, even when I got older."

"Didn't you tell me once that your grandpa like… said he was gay or something?" Roman asked, "He talked to you, like, one of the last times you visited?"

"Uh… he never really  _ exactly _ said he was," Seth said, pausing his work as he wiped his brow and examined the small section he'd managed to clear. Little beetles and bugs were wiggling around, trying to get their bearings. "He loved my grandma, he always showed it and stuff, but… I even found pictures when I was at the house before the funeral. Like, old photos of him with guy friends and stuff. I really don't know," he sighed hard. "I just wish I could have asked him. He always was just… cool with who I was, no matter where I was at, if you know what I mean."

"That's hard," Roman sighed too, shooting him a little smile. "I feel like my sis is like that for me a lot of the time. At least when I got older and felt like I needed someone to talk to. I dunno what I'd do without her."

Seth's mouth twitched, thinking of the phone conversations he'd snooped upon. He'd definitely gotten the impression they were close. Close enough for Roman to vent to her freely about all the things that bothered him about Seth and Dean. It was easy to sink inward and be annoyed, but Roman pulled him out of it, dusting off his hands and walking over to investigate Seth's work.

"You want some sweet tea? I was gunna run inside for a sec," he offered, touching Seth's bun for a moment, as though he was adjusting it.

"What're you-?" Seth's hand found his hair and he frowned as he realized Roman had stuck a little blue flower in the thickest bunch of his hair. "Big dork. Yes, I want tea. I'm hungry."

"You want some chips or pretzels?" Roman asked, grinning as he walked to the backdoor. Kevin sat up and followed him, apparently tired of being in the hot backyard. 

"Nuts or seeds or something!" Seth called after him. After a few moments of fidgeting, Seth took the flower out of his hair and investigated it. The little bud was very pigmented with dark purple shoots in the middle of the numerous triangular petals. Feeling fond and a little better, he tucked the plant behind his ear as he continued working. Just as the sun came out from behind a cloud, a swelling noise of cicadas was heard, all humming around the same frequency, making Seth's spine tingle strangely. 

His mind wandered to when he'd sat in his grandfather's room again, looking through the photos without any context. The sun pouring in the window. The tiny little bed that sat ominously in the corner with old quilts. The most tiny, delicate pressed flower, falling between Seth's fingers from where it had spent decades, tucked into old, yellowing photographs. In that moment, Seth felt immensely sad at the realization that he would be leaving, with or without his boyfriends. As pointless as it was to consider planting flowers he might not see, Seth weeded faster, simply nodding when his boyfriend returned with refreshments. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a day late, but I'm busy preparing for some travel next weekend, so there won't be a chapter next Monday either D: Hopefully I'll be making it over to the east coast, assuming I don't get swallowed by a hurricane!
> 
> Seth's starting to suss out his life in between waiting for the inheritance, but as you can imagine, there's drama on the horizon. Dean will be featured more, especially when Roman goes back to school again, but I wasn't lying when I said part II was more Seth-Roman centric. Soon Seth will do his last bit of physical therapy and we'll find out a more specific idea of what's going on with his job situation. As always, comment if you want to see anything featured, I try to incorporate suggestions where it makes sense for the story.
> 
> Hope ya liked it <3


	35. Stinger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A change of direction. Bad news. Dean takes Seth to his gym and then Seth goes back on his word.

It wasn't until the next morning when Seth was standing in the shower that he remembered his meeting with Hunter Monday morning. Blinking and pausing the act of lathering his feet, he almost tripped, grasping at the side wall hard with his wet hand. With everything else that was going on, Seth had almost forgot all of the random drama at the fundraiser and he sighed hard, hoping his boss wasn't going to scold him about forgetting the Water X class.

"Can we go to the gym tonight?" he asked Dean when his boyfriend came into the bathroom to take a quick piss. Dean looked over his shoulder where Seth was brushing his teeth and gave an affirmative grunt.

"So long as I don't gotta close the park," he said, obliging to wash his hands so he could wipe them dry on Seth's toweled ass. "Gotta figure that out. Hunter said he wanted me to do that."

Luckily, Dean didn't have to close the park until Wednesday, as Seth checked the online schedule on their way to work. Roman had been hurried that morning, hustling out the door to his Jeep alone after sleeping late by five minutes. Seth and Dean used the Cadillac and took their time rolling in, watching a row of cop cars on the road pulling over a very expensive looking vehicle.

"You think Uce might take the bus home if we're all getting off at different times?" Dean asked, gazing at the rearview mirror. "Do the buses come by work and our house?"

"I have no idea," Seth mumbled, trying to think if he even saw public transport stops lining the road. It seemed like the only means to travel by bus in Orlando was a shuttle to Universal Studios or Disney.

"I could maybe cab home." Dean said, sipping from his coffee and jiggling his leg in the seat. Seth wished he was more talkative, but it was always difficult to muster in the morning. Despite the meeting with his boss, Seth was just eager to get to work and get moving on something to distract his brain from the same anxious thoughts that were dogging him lately. He'd somehow managed to sleep alright, but his mother's words and the weight of the situation was making his skin scrawl.

Everything from the fundraiser had been cleaned up and the White Water parking lot was back to its usual state of normal. With the park still unopened for another hour, the area was only occupied by the lap swimmers and aquatics exercise folks that dominated the facility until the kids rolled in. Seth parked in his Employee of the Month spot and sighed, stooping to grab his sun reflector by Dean's shoes. With Dean moving to grab his coffee from the drink from the cup holder at the same time, the two nearly bonked skulls and Dean snorted giving Seth's cheek a little tap.

Seth swallowed, looking up to his boyfriend and cracking into a grin from the dopey expression on Dean's face. Dean pursed his lips, and Seth kissed them quickly, glad that nobody was walking up the sidewalk to see them. Roman's Jeep was already parked across the lot and the slight breeze shook the flag hanging from the flagpole, making a clanging metallic noise.

"Sup fellas?" Sami asked as they walked in, shivering from the rush of the air conditioning in the lobby. "Happy Monday."

"Yeah yeah," Dean mumbled, ambling on to pass the entrance gate, making his way to P-pool. Seth was more tolerant of Sami's happy-go-lucky attitude and leaned in, examining the row of community flyers on the lobby desk. 

"How's it goin'?" Seth asked, urging himself to be social. "Hunter in yet?"

"Yeah, think so," Sami nodded, folding a towel on his thigh and setting it in a stack. "Don't think Steph' got in yet. Think she was returning something from the fundraiser, but she'll be back soon cause I think we're running a  _ fire drill today _ ." He said the last words quietly and Seth raised an eyebrow and side stepped to allow an older man to check in.

"Do you know what time?" Seth asked. Fire drills were obviously important, but with a bunch of patrons in pool clothes, it was guaranteed to be a huge pain in the ass.

"Usually they're after noon," Sami nodded. "But before the school kids get in."

Seth continued on as the male patron asked Sami something about swim lessons, and he made made his way to the vacant breakroom to put his lunch away. Unlike the rest of the facility, the area was jam packed with leftovers from the fundraiser that didn't seem to have a place yet. Bins occupied the corners and a stack of extra shirts were resting on the table. Inside the fridge, a stash of snacks and food had been hastily stuffed into the fridge and Seth stooped for a moment, trying to fit his bag. It would have been less annoying if he wasn't sure that cleaning the room was going to be  _ his _ job.

"Oh shit, is that full?" 

Seth turned around and saw Sasha by the door, holding her own lunch box and looking impatient. Seth reached out his hand to take it from her and she blinked, striding across the room to hand off her meal. 

"The one in the park is always so hot, but then I dunno if that will even cool it well," Sasha sighed, watching Seth shove the bag in between two large containers of what looked like pulled pork. "Ugh, whatever."

"You in the park?" Seth asked, she rolled her eyes and heaved another long breath. "Where at?"

"Just the zero entry pool, but still," she complained. "It's fine… I just feel like we barely got a weekend at all."

"Yeah, little bit," Seth admitted, wincing a little as he stood to full height. "How'd all the face painting go?"

He followed her down the hall toward the back exit where the guard-entry for the park was. Sasha was twiddling with a walkie talkie, thumbing the back clasp that usually hooked onto a fanny pack.

"It went fine! I like working with kids, it's always fun. E drew unicorns on one girl which basically meant every kid around wanted one. We ran out of glitter by like noon," she laughed. "The only thing was kids were wiping out on the bounce house left and right and I have a low tolerance for crying."

"Sounds about right," Seth smirked. "I think I saw some of that facepaint around."

"You owe me though-" Sasha said snapping her fingers together as they came to the exit where she would break away. "What are you doing this weekend? You want to go bowling?"

"Oh… uh…" Seth blinked. "I think I'm free. I dunno, I need to see my PT soon but that's all I can think of."

"Sick! Let's do it," Sasha beamed, "Me and Bay. You can bring your boys and we'll square off." 

"I'll ask them," Seth agreed, nodding with a smile as his friend hopped out the door and down the steps towards the water park fence. Stalling for time, Seth watched her through the window, remembering when he and Dean had used the same entrance to sneak into the water park for some very dubious sex. It seemed like ages ago, two completely different people making incoherent decisions. Since AJ had found them making out in Roman's office, Seth hoped he'd matured beyond making such rash decisions.

Walking back down the hallway, Seth could hear the familiar splashing of a pool behind several walls and there was something zen about the echo of his footsteps. Hunter was probably in his office, and Seth tried to anticipate what they might talk about when they sat down together. Since he had told Roman about the promotion, there hadn't been much more discussion about it, mostly because Seth had been in such a strange mood. Dean hadn't mentioned it at all, but Seth didn't know if Roman had brought it up.

Inside the lap pool, Roman was striding across the deck to teach, wearing his black rash guard and pushing strands of wet hair across his face as he counted down in a booming voice. A few of the older ladies in the class waved to Seth and Roman grinned as he walked by, peeking into Hunter's office where his boss was sitting at his computer. Seth knocked on the glass and Hunter turned, beckoning him inside quickly. 

"Stephanie is about to be back, but go ahead and sit down," Hunter said, nodding to an office chair that was usually covered in spare towels. Seth sat, watching as his boss closed an email and sat back in his chair, sighing hard. "How was your weekend?"

"Great," Seth said, without thinking. "How was the rest of the fundraiser?"

"It went good, it really picked up around two," Hunter said, rubbing his eyes for a moment before knitting his fingers together across his chest. "We got a big bulk of new memberships and I think we're going to be netting one of the highest quotas for swim lessons we've ever had." 

"That's awesome," Seth said, nodding fast. During the morning of the fundraiser, it hadn't seemed as though many people were very interested in the offer, so he was glad the day had ended strong. 

"Yeah, and that guy I introduced you to- my friend Kurt. He's made a fairly large donation as well. He usually does, or at least he was fairly consistent for several years, but he was having a hard time with his health and some family issues for awhile." Hunter looked up just as Stephanie was rounding the corner and opening the door. "But he's doing better now."

"How are we all doing! Hey Seth!" Stephanie said, setting down her purse and shuffling behind her husband to sit. 

"We good then?" Hunter asked, turning to his wife. Seth watched, sort of amused as the two seemed to toe the line of friendly professionalism. He'd never seen such a relationship before. 

"All good, yes," Stephanie said, rotating in her chair to grab a clipboard. "The bank was a little busy, but it's what I get for going in at peak time. We'll have to make this quick."

The two seemed to sigh a little and look at each other. Seth swallowed, sitting up a little straighter in his chair. Despite the fact that the office was much more air conditioned than the pool, he felt stifled in the thick work shirt he wore in lieu of a lifeguard tank top. There was always something about Hunter's furrowed brow and Stephanie's piercing eyes that made him feel a little uneasy, especially as his boss's gaze seemed to checking to ensure no one was coming to interrupt their little meeting.

"So, now that we have some time to breathe a little bit here, we wanted to chat about the position we'd previously offered to you, Seth." Stephanie said in a careful measured tone. "We've really appreciated having you around in the capacity that we've had you. Would you say you enjoy working with us and doing managerial work?"

"Y-yeah," Seth said quickly nodding his head. "It's uh, it's different, but I like to think that you guys can throw me anything and I like that I get to learn on the job." He blinked and swallowed for a moment, realizing that, perhaps for the first time, that none of this would have happened if Seth hadn't messed up his knee. "It's worked out well I'd say."

"So you prefer this above lifeguarding and teaching?" Hunter asked. Seth blinked again, looking between his bosses and wondering what the best answer was. There was something uneasy about the conversation.

"I… I don't know if I necessarily… prefer…" Seth began. "I mean, I enjoy working with this team in this environment. I think I'm reliable enough where you can kind of put me anywhere and I do a good job. As far as upward mobility in the workplace and going somewhere, well, if you know what I mean… I think I want to work hard and do my best and keep challenging myself…" he broke off as Hunter and Stephanie nodded and looked to each other. He felt like he was rambling, but Seth honestly had no clue what he was supposed to say. "Is this about the Water X thing? Cause I'm sorry about that- I wanted to be more on top of that but with everything else that was going on… I couldn't really get away from the fundraiser and all that-"

"No, it's not… that," Hunter said, sighing and making a weird sort of smile as he folded his arms and looked at the floor. Seth's stomach sank a little, wholly unaccustomed to whatever energy his bosses were putting off. 

"Hunter and I have been  _ discussing _ a few different things as we've been looking at our staffing situation for the water park and the pools." Stephanie said carefully, leaning forward in her chair as he husband seemed to falter. "I don't want you to think this is about you Seth- we've sort of jumped the gun with this position as we haven't even had the time to create it correctly or make a job code for you..."

"Mostly because I've been having to cover the pools," Hunter said with a sour expression on his face. Seth's brow creased with dismay.  _ Was he not getting promoted?  _

"We want to do right by our staff and by you Seth-" Stephanie began. "The last thing we want is to create a position of a bunch of overflow work that isn't correctly distributed, and then have you stressed out about what your actual job duties are-"

"It's been done before, we don't want to do it to you." Hunter said firmly. 

"Right, and we feel that we would like to spend the time to really get you prepared to become part of upper management," Stephanie nodded with a sort of false smile. "That way you can get  _ all _ the details right-"

"I can handle anything," Seth spluttered, trying to hide the jump in his voice. "I mean, I feel like I've kind of proved that, with the fundraiser and all."

"Now's not the right time," Hunter said firmly. "As it is right now, we're really going to need coverage with our swim lessons and guarding, whenever you're able to come back in that capacity. Spring lessons will start up in a week, and we're short almost 4 instructors, so we don't have the time to train anyone for a new position."   


"We are sorry Seth," Stephanie said, not sounding nearly sorry enough as her smile didn't seem to meet her eyes. Seth just sat, fuming in his chair, hardly able to believe his bosses had pulled such a stunt with all the work he thought he'd done well. He was Employee of the Month for chrissakes.  _ Could anything good happen to him?  _

"This… is really frustrating for me." Seth said, unable to contain himself as he sighed hard and smoothed his eyebrows flat. Staring at the ground, he folded his arms across his chest and jiggled his leg. "I'm sorry if I didn't live up to your expectations in some way-"

"It's not that Seth," Hunter sighed.

"Well, with everything that's been going on in your life, we didn't want to heap on anymore stress," Stephanie said in a sort of mothering tone. Seth clenched his hand hard enough for his knuckle to crack and he held his jaw, fast and angry.

" _ This  _ is stressing me out," he said, shaking his head. "I'm sorry, I  _ guess _ I understand your decision, but It's frustrating for me-" Seth swallowed, almost wanting to just jump up from his chair and spring out of the room. "-Anticipating… some kind of improvement in my financial situation… I just did all that travel..."

To that, Stephanie and Hunter had nothing to say, looking sheepish and unavailable. For all the griping and whining that all of his coworker's had about their jobs, Seth had never been one to complain about his treatment in the workplace. Now, he was  _ really _ mad, sure that there was nothing else he could say to make his bosses change their minds. When had they made their decision? During the fundraiser? It had seemed that just a week ago the decision had seemed finalized.

"We should have handled this situation better," Hunter said, looking from his wife to Seth with a somber expression. "Stephanie and myself have been trying to find ways to move tasks around and we still haven't found the best solution yet, but we want to keep you as a part of our team, just more for the position we initially hired you on as. You're 100 percent right, you're a very reliable worker, and right now, we need you in the pool if your knee is ready."

"It's fine," Seth said, defeat creeping into his voice. 

"We don't want to rush you on that," Stephanie said, sort of unconvincingly. In Seth's head, he could hear his voice yelling  _ Are you sure? It sounds like you literally are doing that! _ but he obviously kept his mouth shut. 

"Next time you see your doctor, see if you can't get a medical release or something, just so we have some documentation." Hunter said, rubbing his hands together. "Is there anything else we can do for you Seth?"

"'M fine," Seth grunted, standing up and gritting his teeth as he made his way for the door. There was no use thanking them or trying to make nice. He was no doormat, and currently, all he wanted to do was catch up with Kevin and deep clean whatever the fuck he could so he didn't have to think or talk. Hunter and Stephanie mumbled some sort of 'thank you' as he left, but Seth didn't bother trying to smile at them or  the weird asshole Drew McIntyre who was guarding the pool. For the first time since he'd started working there, Seth kind of wanted to just throw in a resignation letter just to shoot double-birds at everyone. What had made them change their minds? It seemed as though Hunter had just hired a great number of new staff. Seth understood that the water park was stretching them a little thinner, but it was bullshit that his bosses hadn't figured that out sooner. 

Angrily, he marched down the hall, wondering what else was going to be swept up from under his feet like a rug. However grateful Seth had felt about being able to work despite his bad leg felt immaterial now. Each day, his bosses had given him lists and instructions to complete alongside assisting Kevin with general cleaning duties, and Seth had done them well. Because he'd been so reliable, his bosses hadn't been made to worry about the park re-opening or the fundraiser or any of the events that went beyond the day-to-day management of the park. Wasn't that valuable at all?

"There's more of them glass scrubbers in the utility closet," Kevin advised as he watched Seth tear through boxes in the boiler room. Seth just nodded, lost in his own head as he grabbed the pole stick that was used to reach the high windows on the observation deck. In his pocket, he fished for the ring of work keys, hardly seeing what was in front of him.

"Fuck this," he hissed to himself as he accidentally dropping the keys on the floor, wanting to stomp them under his boot. Luckily, Kevin hadn't head him as the man had just grabbed a jug of cleaning solution and walked away to the service elevator, but Seth knew his co-worker wouldn't have cared or asked him what was wrong. For now, all he could do was just get through the day and re-group. Assess what needed to be done. As inviting as the distraction of a new work position might have been, really Seth needed to figure out his grandfather's inheritance so this sort of bullshit couldn't stress him out any longer. 

He'd get his money sorted out. Quit his job. Move home and be free from having to answer to anyone about promotions and tedious tasks. In record time, Seth managed to clean all of the windows and mop the family locker room restrooms before 11:15 when one of the school groups arrived. Eagerly charging down the hall, their voices echoed hard and Seth pinched the bridge of his nose, feeling a headache. 

"Hey lil' Uce," Roman said, rousing Seth's attention and striding over from the locker rooms with still wet hair. "Was gunna buzz by the UCF bookstore, I think they're doin' this sale thing for textbooks today-" he faltered when he saw Seth's expression, likely sour and exhausted. "Did you… want anythin' from the store?"

"The bookstore?" Seth asked stupidly, furrowing his brow. Roman snorted.

"Nah, grocery," he smiled, giving his back a brief glance to see if anyone was watching them. "You good babe?"

"Fuckin'..." Seth snarled under his breath, he gritted his teeth and pushed the mop bucket against the wall. "They aren't promoting me. Hunter and Steph. Not a  _ good time _ I guess." 

"Seriously?" Roman said, frowning and looking to Seth's mop bucket. "That's… I'm sorry babe. You wanna take a break for a bit? Go hash it out in the parking lot?"

"No," Seth sniffed, straining the mop quickly, just to do something with his hands. He knew that talking about it at work would just make him more upset. Roman had just caught him at a bad time. "Just… need to get through the f'in day… just a couple more hours."

"We can… talk when we're all home…" Roman said, still looking concerned and sympathetic as he gave his damp locks a pat through. Obviously, he didn't want to leave his boyfriend in such bad shape, but Seth was just getting more frustrated, having his boyfriend witness his shitty mood. "I'll make you somethin' good for dinner. Dean said y'all wanted to work out too… you still wanna do that?"

"Yeah, don't worry about it," Seth said, still annoyed. Roman didn't move, likely not fool enough to take him at his word as he slopped mop water on the floor and began making large passes to clean the walkway. Roman shifted in his slip on sandals and grunted, probably trying to think of the best thing to say. After a few passes, and a large sigh, Seth felt a twinge of guilt and he bit his lip. Actually meeting his boyfriend's eyes was difficult. He always felt like Roman mirrored his energy with his eyes, a little sheepish and fretful, despite having such a large, intimidating frame. His boyfriend blinked and Seth licked his lips, apologetic. 

"I'll worry a'little," Roman said, sort of stupidly. "Let me know if you need anything. I'll have something hot and ready for ya later." He held out his hand and it took Seth a moment to realize he was extending it on his behalf. He blinked and sighed hard before fist bumping his boyfriend.

"Thanks," Seth said, pausing his mopping. "I love you, I don't even give a fuck if anyone knows anymore."

"I love you too," Roman laughed awkwardly. "See you later lil' Uce. We'll make the day better later."

It was at least nice to know that someone had his back in all of this, and Seth quickly finished mopping up the observation area after his boyfriend left. The area was beginning to fill up with a few extra students and their teachers that weren't swimming, and Seth walked the mop bucket down to the service elevator so he could dump out the dirty brown water. Looking in the brushed metal reflection on the old elevator door, Seth wished he had some sort of hobby like knitting or gardening that could get him through times like this. Video games weren't anything he took very seriously, and his knee obviously prevented him from a lot of exercise. Seth knew he could probably read more books or something, but the obvious solution for his extra hours of alertness would probably be best spent researching what he wanted to do with his grandfather's inheritance. It was a guilty realization, which played more to his anxieties than a peaceful state of mind.

Seth was just considering if he should work on cleaning out the break room when a cacophonous shrieking alarm sounded and he jumped hard, seeing the flash of lights from the hallway that indicated the emergency alarm. He'd nearly forgotten about the fire drill and from inside the locker rooms, he could hear children yelling and shouting.

"Single file guys! Single file! We have our towels, that's just fine!" Teachers were saying as students were spilling into the hall, toward the emergency exit. Seth watched as Sami was striding fast toward the lobby with a walkie, directing traffic. 

If Seth was a guard, he would have done a preliminary pool check before getting out of the building himself. Without the same responsibilities, he wasn't sure if he was supposed to do anything other than leave the building and help facilitate the staff headcount. Outside the window, he could see the water park being similarly evacuated, as guards and patrons were walking to the parking lot, as a safe distance from the building. Seth blinked hard, feeling the stimulus of the honking alarm grating on his pre-existing headache. Quickly, he strode out through the emergency exit and down the steel steps that led to the parking lot.

"We'll still have time to swim if you guys stay together!" a teacher was saying to her class and pointing to the bus, parked across the concrete. "Don't run! Just walk."

Though the crowd, Seth could see Dean in his red guard shirt, twirling his whistle and squinting without any sunglasses. It was rather hot outside and Seth could already feel himself getting sweaty without a breeze. Before Seth could decide whether or not he wanted to talk to his boyfriend, Dean was rounding a swarm of kids to meet him, his sandals flip-flopping across the ground loudly.

"That was like perfect timing, I needed to get off the stand and pee bad," Dean said, brushing his bangs out of his face and doing his usual foot-to-foot fidgeting. Seth raised an eyebrow, almost moved from his poor mood.

"Well did you?" he asked, snorting. Dean nodded.

"Real quick, got it out. It's hard to piss with a siren going off though," he looked to the huddle of patrons and students a few parking rows away. "Wish I could do an sneak a snack quick. There's another group comin' soon. We still workin' out tonight?"

"Yeah, today sucks." Seth said, kicking a small rock across the concrete. In a few short sentences, he explained what happened, and then gave an additional explanation as Roman had apparently not told Dean that Seth was even getting a promotion. His boyfriend's expression seemed to muddy and Seth wasn't sure what to think of Dean's facial assessment, or whether he ought to feel any sort of way about Roman's disinclination to disclose the information. To Dean, it all seemed sort of random and confusing for a day which was otherwise supposed to be relatively simple.

"Sort of sounds like what happened to Punk," Dean said, watching Sami come out and call an all clear. The crowd gradually started to re-enter the building, but Seth and Dean lagged to the back, sweating in the sunshine. "This dude who worked here awhile back."

"I sort of remember you talking about him," Seth said, raising an eyebrow. "What about him?"

"He just got promised a bunch of shit it sounded like, then got really pissed off and quit." Dean explained, shrugging. "I think it was more like Steph and Hunter had a bunch of shit that they didn't want to do though, and they kind of pawned it off on him. Sort of why I didn' want to apply for that one job before."

"Well, anyways," Seth said, not really sure where Dean was going with this. "It's bullshit. There's a couple things that I messed up on or whatever, but like, I don't see why that's grounds for disqualifying me on all the good shit I did."

"What did you mess up on?" Dean asked, narrowing his eyes as the walked a few steps behind Dolph and Drew. Seth rolled his eyes.

"Like, the whole thing with that food truck shit I forgot about with the fundraiser. I fucked that up. But then there was also that Water X class that I forgot to ask Uce about." Seth said, feeling more petulant and annoyed that he had to bring it up. "Like, I  _ get _ it, I fucked that shit up. But is that really grounds for like, revoking my promotion on a moment's notice? They wanted to say some crap to me about how they need lifeguards and how they don't want to make my life anymore complicated. Like they even know what's going on with me-"

"I dunno man," Dean said, looking pensive but strained, one of the kids in the school groups was crying, which seemed to buy him a moment as the school group faltered to address the situation. "Maybe it is better to not have a bunch of shit on your plate right now. Not like Hunter and Steph were good to say that to you and all that, but maybe it would be good to take some time."

"It's not like I'm  _ crying _ myself to sleep every night because my grandpa passed," Seth scoffed. "Other than that, I'm  _ fine _ ."

"Well… to me it seems like you're havin' a hard time." Dean explained. "You're still getting better with your knee and all. It's cool-" he shrunk a little as Seth likely had an aggravated expression. "I'm just sayin'." 

"I just don't want anyone treating me with kids gloves." Seth mumbled, shaking his head and shuffling forward. "Even if I'm not like… 100%... just gotta fake it till you make it."

"Yeah, well," Dean waved his hand, clearly at a loss for anything good to say. "No use just sufferin' either."

"Workout though," Seth said, trying to change the subject and close the conversation as they clearly had to return to work. "Should we… just grab our stuff from the house and head over there after?"

"Shoes and food," Dean agreed, following after his school group, but not before Seth could hold out his hand, just as Roman had earlier. They touched knuckles, and parted ways, with Seth feeling at least marginally better, if not perhaps a little condescended to. It was better than having Dean being remote and tactless, but Seth wasn't sure if he was going to feel satisfied with anything his boyfriend's tried to do to help.

A workout was a sure fire means to improve his mood, and Seth tried to look forward to it throughout the end of his shift. In the last few hours, he tried not to check his phone too much, thinking of things he could do that didn't require a lot of knee flexion. There were a few times in CrossFit that they had done straight leg deadlifts. Obviously he could bench press as much as he wanted, but Seth reminded himself that he might not have the same pick of equipment he was picturing in his head. 

Skirting around his bosses office and avoiding as many of his co-workers as he could, Seth texted Cesaro for a few ideas, resisting the urge to complain to his friend about the rejected promotion.

**Do an overhead press for me because I cannot! Maybe do it sitting if you think you will turn it into a push press?** Cesaro messaged quickly. Seth strained, picking at his work shirt and wrinkling his eyebrows. Fitness was annoying because things always seemed to have so many names.

**Is that like strict or something** He asked, checking the time. Fifteen more minutes to go. 

**Yes like military press do not bend your knees to cheat it** Cesaro supplied.  **Also Sara says to do your PT :)**

**Yeah i have been** Seth said, mostly truthfully. He'd fallen off a bit since the funeral and all the travel he'd been thrown into, but since he'd returned, he had been mostly faithful about doing a few movements before bed.  **I'll call her office tomorrow and make an appointment too.**

With a few minutes to spare, Seth resolved to take off early, entirely apathetic to anyone's critique. Work bag in hand, he crossed the lobby after clocking out, hair tie in his mouth as he fixed his bun. Dean was already plopped in a chair, snacking on a pulled pork sandwich he'd crafted from the break room leftovers. Just as Seth was starting to feel a little hungry watching him, both of their phones vibrated and they blinked, looking to their devices.

**Makin sausage for dinner later** Roman had texted their group chat. Just to be crude, Dean smirked and hummed in mock arousal, making Seth roll his eyes a little. 

"Feelin' any better?" Dean asked, springing up. Seth just sighed.

"Let me lift and then ask," he mumbled, holding the door open and following his boyfriend into the muggy heat. 

Seth wasn't sure why he thought Dean would go to anything less than a hole in the wall establishment, but he still did a double take when his boyfriend put directions into his phone for convenience sake. The little blip on the screen looked like it was in a strip mall, which wasn't terribly different from Roman's, but as Seth was getting more acquainted with the Orlando area, he had to pause. 

"I didn't know there was a gym on Conroy," he remarked, putting on his sunglasses and making their way toward the house first to get their shoes and a snack. Roman wasn't home yet, and Seth quickly let Kevin out before eyeing up his large drums of protein that were stored above the kitchen cabinets. He hadn't used them in months and they were gathering dust, but he didn't want to bother with making a shake if he didn't have to.

"This place got shakes there? Like vending machines and stuff?" Seth asked, peeking in the fridge and pulling out a container of pre-cut fruit salad that Roman had bought. Dean looked up from his gym bag, where he was stashing a pair of boxing gloves. He shook his head and Seth frowned, pushing up onto a tip toe to ease the container of protein down. They didn't have a lot of milk, but he could make it work.

Following the directions and pulling into the parking lot where the gym was, Seth snorted as the car bumped along. The lot was mostly empty and incredibly old, riddled with potholes and weather damage. There were no discernible painted spaces and Seth looked to the dingy building before glancing back at his boyfriend.

"Yeah, they ain' got a sign, but it's that one-" Dean mumbled, pointing over to the furthermost building where a single car was parked. "I hope my key still works."

"You have a key?" Seth spluttered, watching his boyfriend nod and pull out his key ring. 

"I ain' been here since my car died, but yeah, it's a little place." Dean explained, grabbing for a small, beaten up key. "The guys that own this place were some of the first dudes I met when I came here. Don't really talk to 'em anymore... mix of guys who do steroids  _ and _ blow."

"Awesome," Seth said sarcastically, standing up from out of the car and looking at the grungy little building again. It looked a lot like an office building, with darkly shaded windows and poorly tended tropical shrubs. Dean led the way and Seth walked after him, sipping from his water bottle and grimacing a little from an apparent lack of air conditioning.

"They don't really have any machines, but I thought you liked that," Dean said, nodding ahead to the only open door in the raggedy carpeted hallway. The cheap door was propped open with a 6 gallon bucket, tipped upside with an oscillating metal fan resting upon it. Seth half wondered if there was a locker room, but as they came into the room, he knew it was probably a dumb question.

The area was large, with a bunch of equipment that looked like it had been pilfered from other facilities. All of the free weights looked to be at least twenty years old, and there were a few squat racks and benches. Nothing matched, and all the upholstered seats were duct taped from where they had been worn away. Seth could see two older men on a bench talking and they nodded curtly to them as an old boombox played a radio station, crackling hard.

"It's very  _ you _ ," Seth noted, watching his boyfriend toss his bag down in a dusty corner. None of the walls were even finished. 

"Thought you'd say that," Dean mumbled, rolling his head on his neck and grabbing a jump rope from his bag. The only pieces of cardio equipment were a treadmill (which looked like the first of it's kind) and a sad looking stationary bike with worn down handles. 

"Warmup?" Seth asked, walking over to the bike and surveying it carefully. He knew the treadmill would probably aggravate his knee. Dean nodded and Seth sat on the bike seat, testing the slight bend in his leg. There wasn't any resistance and it felt surprisingly smooth, so Seth pedaled as his boyfriend skipped along, occasionally catching his feet on the rope. After a few minutes, the other men left, but they kept the radio on, keeping the beat for Dean's breathy grunts and the squeak of Seth's bike rotating.

It was better than doing nothing, Seth reminded himself as he stared aimlessly at the digital display on the bike that had likely gone dark several years ago. If he'd just gone home, he'd just be sitting around and fuming about the words his boss had said that morning. It still didn't make much sense, and Seth wondered if his sulky mood had really been the cause of the deal souring. Stephanie had said something about 'not wanting to make things more stressful' but Seth didn't  _ think _ he'd talked about his grandfather's death  _ that  _ often. Things had been a lot more difficult lately, but Seth had thought he'd done a good job of keeping his problems at home.

"How's… your knee…" Dean panted, putting his jump rope down after maybe five minutes of continuous skipping. Seth shrugged, pulling his leg away from the stirrup.

"Fine," he said, looking around to their free reign of the equipment. "Wanna do overhead presses?"

"With a barbell?" Dean raised an eyebrow, confused. Seth stood up to his full height and surveyed one of the free standing racks. "Like military presses?"

"Whatever," Seth grunted, watching as his boyfriend tossed down the rope and went to set up a rack with a very old and dirty looking barbell. It looked bent in the frame and Seth sat and watched as his boyfriend applied a few light plates.

"Could do this and bench," Dean offered, racking the bar in his hands before pressing it above his head. "Do upper body since you can't do legs. Wrap it up with hitting the bag a little?"

Seth just shrugged as Dean repped the bar over his head maybe ten times. Watching from the back, Seth could see a few tears of sweat wicking down his boyfriend's spine from all the jump roping he did, making his shirt damp. Dean re-racked the bar and looked up, almost mildly frustrated.

"Yeah sure," Seth said, shrugging again. "That all sounds good."

"Aren' you even a little happy to be working out?" Dean choked, plopping down on a bench to give Seth a turn. "Fuck work and fuck White Water, you're here now man. You gunna be okay?"

Seth's heart raced a little, but he was already racking the bar in his hands. It wasn't terribly heavy, but as he lifted it above his head, Seth realized he hadn't really done the specific motion for a moment and it took a split second for him to re-stabilize the weight. Pushing out a few reps, he breathed heavy, trying to think of an adequate response. Even counting in his head was weird again, like his brain was out of practice.

"I'm sorry if I'm… being negative," Seth huffed, re-racking the bar and looking to his boyfriend. He really didn't want to be mad at Dean or get Dean upset, and Seth was starting to realize what a drag it must be for his boyfriends to be watching him suffer. "I think… I'm just kind of stuck in a rut right now… kind of how you felt like a month ago."

"Yeah?" Dean asked, standing up to stack some additional weight on the bar. Seth stepped back, thinking. He wasn't lying, but just as everything had been lately, it wasn't really the  _ whole  _ truth. 

"Yeah… I just… I like lifeguarding, but obviously It's not a  _ career _ ," Seth admitted. "I dunno if I had my heart set on working in management, but…" he sighed as his boyfriend continued pressing the bar. On his own hands, the barbell had left a bunch of rust colored grime. "Life's fuckin's short and I don't know what I'm doing with any of it."

"Hmm," Dean panted out, Seth watched his lips purse on some of the last reps, concentrating.

"I think…" Seth said, trying to push his rejection out of his mind again. "I feel like… you and Uce are all that I'm solid on. Like… but that sounds dumb… 'cause I obviously need to be trying to make money and get a leg up. Be my own person and all that."

"You going to go back to school too?" Dean asked, reracking the bar. Seth paused, shaking his head.

"I… doubt it. I dunno." Seth said, "It's like I said, I'm not sold on anything."

"You'd probably be real good at it," Dean smirked, watching Seth do his overhead presses. "You like books and stuff. You good at math?"

"It's not...about being good at it…" Seth choked out between reps. The bar was starting to get heavy. "I never liked… school…"

They did four sets total and Seth sort of understood what Cesaro had meant about using his legs to cheat the bar a little and push it over his head when it got towards the end of the set. But for Seth, his knee never struggled and he actually out-lifted Dean, cheating out about 175 pounds with the use of his hips and knees. All the while, they bantered back and forth about possible careers.

"You wouldn't want to run a yarn shop or something like that?" Seth teased, massaging his shoulder as Dean set up a flat bench for them to use. 

"No, because I don't like managing stuff," Dean mumbled, "Not lots of numbers and things at least. I just like knitting."

"I dunno," Seth said, scratching his scalp and breathing hard. It felt amazing to be back in the gym and his mind was a lot less scattered. "I feel like you'd be a good forest ranger or something too."

"Maybe," Dean said, considering as he tested out the bench positioning. "You'd be like, some engineer or something, like an architect."

"With a lot of school maybe," Seth laughed, drinking from his water bottle. "I doubt it, I think it's a little late to do something like that, even if I could make a lot of money."

He benched first, and it was a little intimidating with Dean standing right over him, prepared to spot, even with just a lightweight. The conversation was interesting though, and even as Seth was pushing out presses, he thought to his inheritance and the idea of following his own path.  _ What would he do if he didn't have to worry? _

"You're a good teacher," Dean said, "With the kids in the pool and shit. Maybe you could coach?"

"Ain' much money in that either," Seth huffed, sitting up and trading places so Dean could take a turn. "Pretty sure all my coaches in swim team were volunteer."

"Yeah, but you could be like a fitness person, you like working out so damn much," Dean said, pushing the bar into his hands and leveling it over his chest. "Like a trainer. Like Cesaro."

"I probably need a body science degree or something," Seth shrugged. It wasn't a bad thought though, he honestly didn't know what kind of education Cesaro had, but it was certainly something he could ask about. Seth could feel Dean's breath pushing up on his hands as he hovered his palms under the bar. They'd maybe put a little too much weight on to start, but they seemed to be going low-rep anyway.

"You can break people's backs and Uce can heal 'em," Dean proposed when he finished his set, chuckling as Seth took his spot. 

Dean was a fairly good workout partner in that he was chatty, but determined to work. Seth couldn't help but admire his boyfriend's body as they were entirely alone except for the crappy boombox. It was hard to say if one of the hulked out bodybuilder types Dean had described would interrupt them, but Seth knew he couldn't get too frisky. Mostly because the place was disgusting.

"Definitely will need a shower." Seth remarked, looking at his hands and shoulders where the bar had made contact and left a dirty residue. Dean nodded, examining his own arms.

"I only got one set of gloves, but we could trade off it you want. They're a little worn in so they might be loose on your hands." he proposed, nodding to the ancient heavy bag in the corner. "Get your heart rate up a little more."

"I've never really boxed," Seth admitted, picking up his water bottle. "Is there even a fountain in here?"

"There's water in the bathroom, but you gotta go out and around the back. It's usually unlocked." Dean said, unloading their bar. 

"Forget it," Seth said, watching Dean pull out his training gloves. "What's the trick here?"

"You really ain' never thrown a punch?" Dean teased. "They never do that in CrossFit?"

"No, why would they?" Seth scoffed, "It's fitness, not martial arts."

It was kind of fun learning something new, and Seth could at least say his day wasn't  _ terrible  _ on the whole. Dean was a decent teacher, in that he obviously knew Seth well and was perfectly happy to just put his hands on his hips and guide him around the creaky heavy bag. Dean's gloves smelled and were loose, but Seth blushed and grinned as his boyfriend kept raising his arms up to protect his face.

"That's your guard," he mumbled, pushing the heavy bag forward for Seth to bounce around. "You jab and recover."

"Always left?" Seth asked, pushing his hand out and trying to stay light on his feet.

"You jab left and right is power," Dean mumbled, steadying the bag. "Do a jab, jab power combo."

Just a few tosses of his glove and Seth could feel it immediately, heart racing. It felt great, and though occasionally Dean would stop and critique his footwork, it felt natural after a stressful day. Working a bag wasn't as fun as weightlifting, but it was something he could actually do, so it felt nice. Dean was a hell of a lot more smooth and seemed better conditioned to hit the bag as they traded off, but Seth sat and panted, enjoying the buzz of adrenaline. Dean's phone buzzed from the bench, but it was just a text and they ignored it.

"I was mad when I didn't get that one job," Dean grunted out, letting the bag swing back to it's neutral position before rushing in again. "But… I don't think… I'd want it now…"

"It's whatever," Seth mumbled. He was over discussing it, but he knew that he'd been hard to reach lately. "Just gotta find something else to focus on."

"We can come here some... if you just need to get your heart rate up on something fun," Dean said, wicking sweaty hair away from his face with a jerk of his neck. "With Uce goin' back to school soon and shit… well…"

"I'm sure I could have done the job and you still would have _seen_ me," Seth scoffed. Dean paused and went to trade off the gloves, bumping into him on purpose.

"Yeah but _still_ ," he said, as if that settled the matter. Seth frowned and Dean kissed him in his beard, stuffing the gloves into his hands and checking his phone. Seth went back to the heavy bag, trying to measure out his distance and throw a succession of jabs. For a few moments they were quiet, and Seth breathed hard, half expecting Dean to correct his form on something, until he realized his boyfriend was texting and not paying attention. 

"That… Uce?" Seth panted, bouncing back from a poorly timed punch and reestablishing himself. Dean grunted before putting down his phone and standing up.

"I'mma run to the bathroom quick," he mumbled, setting down his phone, Seth paused and pointed his gloved hand to his water bottle.

"Could ya? Be a pal?" He asked, Dean just made an affirmative grunt and grabbed the container before stalking out of the room. After just a few more punches, Seth felt winded and a little bored. He wished there was a mirror in the room so he could see what he was doing. But even with that information, he wasn't sure what he would make of it. Plopping down on the bench, Seth looked around, wondering if they weren't going to do any more exercises. He hadn't eaten much before they'd left and he was getting hungry, thinking of dinner.

Dean's phone buzzed again and Seth stirred, seeing that Roman had texted him again. He bit his lip and paused, looking to the door frame that was behind him. There were a few obstacles to his line of sight. It was quiet though, he would be able to hear his boyfriend coming. 

The screen darkened, and Seth sighed hard. He honestly had no good reason except curiosity. His own phone hadn't been going off, and so Seth knew that Roman was just texting Dean. Something exclusive. After Roman and Dean had gone out for drinks before the fundraiser, Seth had been curious about their own private conversations, but had still tried to not let it bother him. His own private messages with Dean and Roman were nothing interesting. Roman was more talkative and Dean sent him pictures of Kevin and the chickens. Hardly anything newsworthy.

Tossing off the gloves, Seth just couldn't help himself, snatching up Dean's cracked phone and huddling lower so it wasn't immediately obvious what he was doing. With a new text, Seth knew that it might be suspicious to mark the conversation as read, but Dean didn't have much of an eye for detail and Seth knew he probably wouldn't notice.

**K cool food will be ready soon** was the last thing that had been sent and Seth scrolled back, sure to check again that it hadn't just been sent to the group chat. At the top of the screen Roman's number was listed and Seth pushed the conversation toward the past, his heart dropping as he saw fat bubbles of text, mostly from Roman. His heart raced, and he knew he had to stay current and quick if he was going to evade being caught. If it was really necessary, Seth knew he could just grab Dean's phone some other time. Starting at the top of the day's conversation his eyes raked the screen.

**Can u clean out the coop today**

Followed by:

**Yea**

**There is more straw mix in the garage the one bag outside got wet**

And then, at around noon: 

**Seth talk to u?**

Dean apparently hadn't seen or at least answered for a long time as Roman texted him:

**I forgot to tell u about his job offer thing**

And then, more recently: 

**Yeah i just talked to him about it**

Seth's heart raced, seeing that there was more conversation still, his ears were highly tuned to any noise past the boombox and he barrelled on, reading fast

**How was he ): he was really pissed earlier**

**Not great but w/e hes been mad lately were going to go wrkout later**

Seth felt a little prickle of annoyance at the coldness of  _ w/e _ , but continued.

**Ok I feel fucked up about how I talked to Hunter with the fundraiser when he called so unless he brings it up lets just not talk about it. I dont want him to think i fucked up his job prospects.**

**What call**

**Maybe u were asleep nvm**

**Kk we'l be done soon**

**K cool food will be ready soon**

Seth blinked, scrolling through the conversation again. What the  _ fuck  _ was Roman talking about? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh! I'm sorry it's late. Today is my birthday and big news, I got another book deal for my next book! I haven't signed anything yet, but I'm looking at some upfront cash and international distribution, which is huge. Some of you might have seen on my tumblr I needed a sec to prepare, which is why I took a week off- I don't want to say I'm back on schedule yet, because I've still got a load of crap to do, but I at least got this finished.
> 
> I've taken 'weekly updates' out of the description because I may need more time to get chapters done. I have a lot of work to do outside of fanfiction and while that's obviously more important, I don't want this to fall apart with a bunch of shitty chapters that were obviously written too quickly. Life moves fast, but I still have all intentions of finishing this behemoth.
> 
> Comment, definitely subscribe if you're frustrated by the lack of a consistent pace. That way you can get emails if you can keep caught up. Thanks for sticking around! I'll be honest, Seth's going to struggle for a minute here, but that's sort of the point of this part of the story. He kind of brings it all on himself anyways. 
> 
> <3 Strykelass


	36. Collateral Damage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seth approaches Roman with unintended consequences. Can't we all just get along?
> 
> **Warning for some rougher tougher stuff at the end. Just be aware (without wanting to spoil anything)**

It was probably extremely obvious that something was wrong as Seth sat quietly in the passenger's seat on the ride home. Dean kept turning his head and twitching his cheek, in a way that wasn't quite his standard tick. But if Seth wanted to be righteously upset about what he read on his boyfriend's phone, it would take admitting it, which was something he didn't want to do. Instead, he sat mulling the information over as his boyfriend cowed away from his silent act.

_ What could Roman have possibly been referring to? _ It was difficult to parse out exactly what had been said, and now that Seth couldn't readily access the conversation in Dean's phone, it was difficult to remember what he'd read. His heart had been racing as he looked at the messages and Seth really did want to get to the bottom of what had happened. Roman had seemed pleased Seth was getting the promotion,  _ right?  _ But then, he hadn't really told Dean about it at all.  _ Could Roman gain anything from Seth staying at a lifeguard's income?  _

"I'm hungry," Dean said, more so to stir the silence than receive any input. Seth just nodded, examining his own phone and frowning. "Sausage'll hit the spot."

Seth's lips pursed as he set his phone back in his lap and sighed hard. His boyfriend wouldn't have really tried to sabotage his job, obviously the text hadn't been like that. But Roman had said  _ something _ , which threw the whole thing into doubt. Why was he on the phone with Hunter anyway? Had his boss called his boyfriend's as references of some sort? It all seemed to be very suspicious after Hunter and Stephanie seemingly did a solid 180 on the plans they'd discussed for weeks. 

"Knee okay?" Dean asked, a sort of reflex. Seth blinked and looked over. 

"Yeah," he said shortly, shaking his head. "Mm fine," 

Dean tried to hold his gaze for a moment, but was distracted with the task of driving. Seth just stared ahead, watching their course along the short strip of highway. The road was surprisingly clear for the time of day and with each exit they passed, Seth felt his heartbeat grow more frantic and anxious. 

_ Was he supposed to just play it cool? Or admit to what he had done? _ Surely his boyfriend's wouldn't be happy about his snooping, and Seth wasn't about to admit to all the times he'd peeked into their phones. But he couldn't just sit, detached and cloudy for long. When they pulled onto the block, Dean cleared his throat loudly and Seth's heart skipped a beat, urgently trying to pull his face into a look of confused innocence. 

"Did I…" he mumbled, putting the car in park under the tree in front of the house. Seth watched, feeling cold as the car died. "Did I… fuck up or something?"

"What?" Seth asked, completely confused. "What do you mean, why?"

"I dunno…" Dean said, shaking his head, and looking down at the steering wheel. It was clear to Seth that he was working through what he wanted to say, and was clearly aggravated by it. His gaze was intense and it took Seth a moment to realize that his boyfriend wasn't in the same headspace. They weren't talking about the phone, just the weird tension polluting the vehicle. 

"Forget it," Dean eventually said, making to open his door and putting the keys in his pocket, Seth grunted and frowned, slapping at Dean's arm.

"No," Seth said, trying to soften. "It's okay, what is it?"

Dean just shook his head, now resolutely looking away from Seth and fidgeting worse than ever. For a few moments, Seth felt incredibly guilty, sure that Dean was just trying to help and he was really messing with his boyfriend's mind. But then, Seth coldly remembered Dean's text to Roman, describing Seth's moods as ' _ w/e _ ' and he felt significantly less selfish. 

"Uce... " Dean muttered, and Seth's chest cramped with worry. "Uce… well… it's my fault."

"What's your fault?" Seth asked hurriedly. Dean blinked and looked at Seth briefly before avoiding his gaze again.

"Just… he told me to let you be. It still… hasn't been that long and all." Dean murmured, barely audible. "I know it's got to be hard… I just don' really know how to help or anything. Makes me feel like shit."

"What?" Seth was now thoroughly confused, but Dean put his hands to his face, seething with frustration.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry I can't fix stuff!" Dean barked, "I just… I hate how hard things are right now for you, but I wish it was all normal again. Don't know what to do. You're not like you normally are and I wish I could just speed up time or get over it myself."

"I'm fine," Seth blinked, relieved that Dean wasn't talking about the job or anything more complicated than the grief of losing his grandfather. He actually chuckled softly, trying to soothe his boyfriend's worry. Seth made to grab Dean's hand, but Dean looked incredibly bewildered, watching Seth curl his hand around his knuckle. "I'm okay."

"You sure?" Dean grumbled. Seth leaned into his boyfriend, making sure none of their neighbors were looking in. He didn't want Dean to worry, but his body and mind were quite exhausted. Judging from his boyfriend's confusion regarding the phone call, Seth wasn't sure he could easily weasel anything out of Dean. But then… it maybe _wasn't_ a complete waste of time.

Seth looked into his boyfriend's eyes, thinking hard about what he wanted to say. Maybe it was all nothing, maybe it didn't matter. But he could still see Hunter and Stephanie leaning over him with aggravating, condescending faces. 

"It's not… it's not you. It's just _everything_ ," Seth sighed, looking down at Dean's arm and stroking it softly. He tongued to the lie in his mouth before giving it air. "I was just thinking about something Hunter was saying in that meeting today..."

"Yeah?" Dean said. Seth swallowed, feeling a little high in his brain from his deceit. 

"He had mentioned a phone call or something with Uce... and I didn't know what to make of it," he continued, trying to sound nonchalant and unspecific. "Almost like… I dunno… like it made a difference in like…" Seth stuttered slightly, sighing hard. "How I didn't get the job or _something_."

Dean physically stiffened and Seth looked up at him, suddenly incredibly curious. Perhaps it had shown on his face. Dean's eyebrow quivered and the two looked away from each other, incredibly awkward. The revelation was very curious.

"I… don't think Uce said anything bad…" Dean mumbled, not really meeting Seth's eye. "I don't know about any of it."

"But… you know that he called, right?" Seth asked quickly, leaning in. Dean's neck shrank into his shoulders and Seth tried to pull back, sure that he didn't want to seem hawkish and weird. The whole situation was tricky, and Dean's eye's actually flitted to the center console where his phone was stashed, like the device had given him away.

"I don't really know nothin'... Uce said that-" Dean's face flushed pink, and he shook his head. "This is between y'all. I don't know why you're asking me about it."

"You're right, I'm sorry," Seth said fast, hearing the frustration in his boyfriend's words. "I dunno… it just feels really wrong. Like, I didn't think Uce would say anything bad about me."

"What did Hunter say he said?" Dean asked, looking concerned and upset. Seth just shook his head fast, sure that he'd bullshitted too much.

"He didn't… I just…" Seth quickly made to collect his things. "Sorry, I'll just talk to Uce about it. It's not your problem."

Dean was rightfully weary, walking a few paces behind Seth as they left the car and made their way to the house. Without any real confirmation of information (other than the fact that Dean had read what Roman had texted him) Seth knew he should probably be more thoughtful with how he approached Roman. It was difficult, especially since he was just making up a situation that would account for knowing about the phone call. With each step to the house, Seth tried to put his thoughts aside and just act normal. If he was acting like a broody mess, his boyfriends would obviously be concerned.

Kevin barked at the door and Seth shushed the dog as he came inside, holding the entry open for Dean as Roman looked up from the living room. He was sprawled out on the couch and the whole house smelled like sausage and potatoes. Seth forced his face into a small grin and Roman smiled back warmly, setting down a glass of sweet tea and rising to his feet. 

"How was it, you feel a lil' better?" he asked, walking over. Dean was taking a moment with his shoes and Seth tried to manage a cheerier shrug.

"Dean showed me how to hit a heavy bag, that was cool," he said, bending over to pick up Kevin before the dog got stepped on. "It's a sweaty little place though."

"Yeah, call me crazy, but I prefer Planet Fitness," Roman mumbled, giving him a little pat on the back. "Food's ready. I just put it on the oven to stay warm."

"I wanna shower first," Dean mumbled, skirting around them and making his way to the bathroom. Roman raised an eyebrow.

"You were gunna still clean the coop right? Shit's dirty," he snorted.

"Yeah yeah," Dean called back, hastening to grab a towel from their room before snapping the bathroom door shut. Roman looked between the doorway and Seth curiously. 

"Well I'm hungry," Seth shrugged, feeling horribly guilty for driving Dean away, but maybe a little relieved that his boyfriend wouldn't be forced into their proximity if they wanted to engage in private conversation. But as he gathered a plate from the cupboard, Seth couldn't think of a good way to broach the information about the phone call. The food was distracting, and he was trying to imagine a scene in his head between his bosses that would seem authentic to explain. 

"Just did a bunch of arm stuff then?" Roman asked as they sat down. Dean's chair felt annoyingly empty at the end of the kitchen table. "I felt like my shoulders and chest got way stronger when I messed up my own knee… just cause I was still goin' to the gym a bunch then and I didn't have anything else to do."

"Yeah… I asked Cesaro for ideas," Seth mumbled, spearing some sausage with his fork. His mind was still on his own lie, and as they ate, he contemplated an imaginary account of Hunter and Stephanie saying they had 'sources' to prove Seth was inadequate for the position. It still seemed far fetched, but luckily, Roman brought up the issue first…  _ sort of _ . 

"I know work's a pain right now, but did you schedule that massage yet?" he asked, "I'll bet that would feel pretty good right about now."

"Not… yet…" Seth said, sighing and feeling his heart rate kick up again. "I wanted to ask you though… about something Hunter said during my meeting today..." The same guilty turn of the eye Dean had done, Roman replicated. Seth set down his fork and cleared his throat, trying to find his words. 

"What's… bugging you?" Roman asked, his eyes flicking toward the bathroom where the sound of the shower had just begun to splash. Seth scratched at his beard and rolled his jaw from side to side, surveying his boyfriend. Roman didn't look angry or scared. His hair was in a loose ponytail, draping over his shoulder which was covered by a tight t-shirt. On the whole, he just looked alert and attentive, dark eyes concentrating.

"He said he had talked to you on the phone," Seth lied again, trying to keep his face impassive. Roman tilted his head down slightly, but held Seth's gaze. 

"He told you that?" Roman sighed hard, looking slightly disbelieving. Seth just nodded, watching his boyfriend fold his arms. "I don't know why he brought that up," he snorted, looking down and leaning back in his chair. Seth turned his hand open. "What?"

"Well?" Seth asked, hoping Roman would begin apologizing and readily elaborating on what was said. 

"Well,  _ what _ ?" Roman said defensive, raising an eyebrow. "Was anything I said  _ wrong _ ?"

Seth paused, thrown for a loop. He gestured uselessly and was sure he looked stupid, tossing words out of his mouth and hoping something would stick. Kevin sat by the leg of Dean's chair and stared at both of them, begging. The noise of the AC seemed to fade out and the whole house was weirdly still.

"I just… I dunno…" Seth said, trying to pivot and act on the fly. "I guess… I don't know what you  _ meant  _ by it…?"

"What do you mean?" Roman spluttered, actually laughing. "What did Hunter tell you?" 

"Look, I just want to know what you said, to him-" Seth said quickly, rolling his eyes and raising his voice slightly. "He didn't… he wasn't saying you said anything like…  _ I dunno _ . I didn't get the job okay? I just want to know why you were talking to him!"

"Uh, because he _called_ me ?" Roman said, looking to Seth like he was speaking in another language. "For the Water X class?"

Seth opened his mouth and closed it, trying to put this new piece of information into his ability to react in real time. Hunter had called Roman the morning of the fundraiser about the Water X class, probably to figure out why he wasn't there… which had been Seth's fault.  _ But what else had been exchanged?  _

"What did he tell you?" Roman laughed. "Look, okay, I tried to just be objective about everythin' I said okay? I didn't think it was anything that you hadn't already discussed with him, and I covered for you, yeah? I said that you  _ had  _ mentioned the class to me, but you hadn't told me a time so I didn't put it in my phone. He seemed just fine when we got off the call." Roman shrugged his shoulders. "I really didn't think it has anything to do with you not getting the position or anything. And look babe, you know if you need anything, I can help right? It sucks that this is all happening right now, but if you like… need literally  _ anything _ , you don't have to worry about money or stuff like that."

"I didn't… say…" Seth mumbled, shaking his head. Something was wrong. Something wasn't adding up. Roman had said in the text that he didn't want Dean to mention the call because he had said something that  _ specifically _ could have messed up his job prospects. The whole thing was such a tangle. "I'm not... concerned about the money, I'm concerned about the fact that I had a job up until I  _ didn't _ ."

"Do you not believe me?" Roman blinked. "Okay, I said you were having a hard time with the loss of your grandfather! He  _ knew _ that, how could he not have?"

They hadn't touched their food in over a minute.

"I don't go to work crying and whining about this shit!" Seth said, touching his chest in a sort of proud display. "Why did you-"

"You took the time off and everyone made you a card! That's what I meant by it! Everyone already knew!" Roman groaned, rolling his eyes. "Hunter  _ told _ you? He  _ really _ told you that  _ I _ convinced him to not give  _ you _ a job because you couldn't handle it?"

"That's not what I said!" Seth waved his hand around, wishing he could spring up and just pace or run away. Roman hadn't said anything wrong, but it didn't make him any less pissed off. He wanted to hear it- an exact recording of what his boyfriend had said to his boss to make the situation clear. 

"I don't know what you want to hear, I really am sorry if you think I sabotaged-" Roman began.

"Don't put words in my mouth!" Seth snapped, "I'm just trying to figure out what happened, can you really be mad at me for that?"

Kevin barked and ran away, apparently getting excited. The shower stopped and both men stared at each other. Roman was heated, but Seth felt hurt and annoyed, wishing he hadn't brought it up, but also wishing he could make Roman feel how devastated he'd been about the job. The way Roman was talking, it was as though he didn't get it  _ at all. _ Seth didn't give a damn about money, he was just tired of being a janitor-lifeguard. He was tired of everything.

"I think you're mad about the job, but that doesn't mean you need to be mad at  _ me _ ." Roman said calmly, picking up his fork again and bringing his attention back to his food. Putting a forkful in his mouth, he snorted and picked up his plate, making his way over to the microwave to warm it up more. Seth didn't really think his own food was that cold, which just made him annoyed that his boyfriend had left the table. 

The beeping of the microwave buttons seemed overly loud and Seth stared at the table, wondering what the fuck he was supposed to say. There didn't seem to be a clean way to neatly tie off the conversation and now they were both upset, brooding into their dinner.

"You need a better way of dealing with all of this," Roman said, after maybe five minutes. Seth looked up from his plate, watching his boyfriend wipe his hands on a napkin. "Just because you're stressed out, you don't need to take it out on me." 

"I'm not taking it out-" Seth scoffed, sitting back in his chair. "Look, I appreciate whatever you _thought_ you were doing, but I don't want you or Dean or _anyone_ talking to Hunter for me. If he called me about you, I wouldn't have said nothing."

"At the time, I didn't know you might have been promoted." Roman grunted quickly, "It wasn't anything more than me telling him that you were dealing with a situation that was already obvious."

"Doesn't matter," Seth said coldly. Now Roman was just pissing him off, trying to make him see his own reasoning. From the hallway, Dean walked in and likely sensed the tension. He didn't make eye contact with anyone as he made his way to the stove in a pair of grey sweat pants. Overwhelmed and annoyed, Seth cleaned his plate quickly and went to the bathroom just as Dean was sitting down. He could hear them talking lowly as he gathered a towel, but didn't strain his ears to listen.

It was fucking stupid, all of it. For one of the first times since he'd entered into the relationship, Seth felt overwhelmed and angry about how complicated his life felt, sharing everything with two partners. Their room was filled with the dirty clothes and messes of three individuals. Dean's incorrigible habit of leaving his underwear wherever it came off him, his same pair of jeans, pooled in the middle of the floor, belt still attached. Roman's inordinate ownership of tons of useless crap, extra phone cords, the Alexa smart speaker they barely used, candles and incense and bottles of lotion that were used up but never thrown away. Seth shirked himself out of his clothes and tossed himself in the shower, fuming over the boundaries he didn't think he'd need to explain.

But as the water trickled down from the tap, he cooled, staring into the distance and swallowing hard. As mad as he wanted to be at Roman for snitching, Roman and Dean weren't looking in his phone and searching for things to be angry about. Dean had tried to cheer him up by taking him to the gym. Roman had made him dinner, as he  _ always _ did. A shiver ran down his spine, and Seth looked at his feet, feeling raw and ashamed. 

_ Dean was mad that I was upset  _ he thought, remembering how rattled his boyfriend had been in the car. Then, he'd gone on to lie to him, trying to use whatever information he could get as artillery against Roman. Seth didn't know if he would've done anything different in the moment, but even just forty-five minutes removed, he felt guilty knowing that he'd actually lied _twice_.

_ I don't feel fine right now _ he thought, still staring at the shower wall, paralyzed by the sensation of the water and his delayed revelation. What Roman had said was at least  _ partially _ true. His grandfather's estate was fucking with his mind and kinda  turning him into an asshole. All the stress was warping his relationships and if Seth couldn't pull it together and at least put on a semblance of normalcy, he was going to stress everyone out around him. Reaching for the shampoo, his body felt strange from the movement and his knee rotated a little funny, making Seth clench his toes against the tile.

The last thing he could do was run out of the shower and beg them for forgiveness, manically blabbing about how his grandfather had left him over five hundred thousand dollars, about how he wanted to set something up that could benefit them as a group. There still wasn't a plan. The estate wasn't going to close soon. He couldn't anticipate their answers and Seth's mother seemed to model the reaction he expected to receive. Raised eyebrows. Confusion. Questions that made his chest hurt. 

Seth took a deep breath and closed his eyes under the water. The full truth might not be able to come yet, but he knew he needed to stop lying if he wanted this to work. His own behavior was starting to freak him out, reminiscent of when he was cheating on Marek. Seth had to remind himself he  _ really did _ love Dean and Roman. His actions should probably reflect that. 

_ I'll apologize about being upset _ , he agreed.  _ I didn't get the job, it's already said and done and nothing's going to change that.  _ But as Seth rinsed out his hair and picked up the bottle of body wash, he heard voices that carried over the shower water. His heart sank and he stood stock still, unable to hear exactly what was going on. Hurriedly, he soaped himself up and rinsed, feeling even more anxious as Dean and Roman's voices faded after he shut off the tap.

Seth opened the door and heard nothing. No one was in the living room and he shivered as he toed toward the bedroom, quickly tossing on a pair of boxer briefs and a loose tank top. Beard still dripping slightly, he poked his head into the kitchen and saw Dean sitting in his usual spot, facing away, head leaning into his hand.

"Uh…" Seth mumbled stupidly, looking around for their boyfriend. "Did… Uce…? What happened?"

"You hear him?" Dean asked hollowly, not turning around. Seth shook his head, anxiety making his skin crawl as Dean stabbed at his sausage angrily. "Pissed off."

"He's pissed?" Seth asked, voice slightly higher. "What's going on?"

"He's fuckin' mad at me! Thinks I told you about the phone call or something!" Dean snapped, turning in his chair with hurt and emotional eyes. Seth swallowed hard as his boyfriend pointed at the sliding door where Roman had apparently left. "I fuckin told him- but he says you weren't mad at him earlier or whatever! When he talked to you at work somethin'! Thinks I'm a fuckin' liar!"

"I don't-" Seth blinked, the guilt doubling as Dean turned back in his seat and shoved his plate forward. "Why the fuck…"

"He's a fuckin' drama queen," Dean said spitefully, getting up and tossing his plate into the sink, letting his voice raise as though he wanted Roman to hear from the backyard. "The fuck I have to say'n cover for? At least I'm not the one snitching!"

"D-dean," Seth said horrified, shushing with his voice. "I-it's okay, really. I'm not that mad, I just needed… a sec…"

" _I'm_ mad," Dean muttered, yanking open the freezer door and grabbing an ice cream sandwich ferociously. "Tells me I need to be patient and shit, then accuses me of stirring the pot. How'd you like that?" Seth watched him take a bite of the sandwich. "Fuckin' hypocrite. Bet'h you 'wenty buck'th he'th calling hi'th mom righ' now."

Seth would have laughed if he didn't feel so guilty, watching Dean strain and pinch his nose, overcome with brain freeze. Despite the fact he wasn't wearing pants, Seth opened the sliding glass door and peered out, wondering where Roman could have gone. It seemed likely that his boyfriend could have taken his phone to call his mom or sister, and Seth sighed. The appeal of apologizing was wearing off, and he had to stop Kevin from jumping outside, shutting the door again.

"This is all my fault," Seth said to Dean and scooping up his dog for something to distract himself with. Dean shrugged, looking out the window and rolling his eyes.

"He made his bed when he told Hunter on you," Dean mumbled, licking the side of his mouth. "You're havin' a hard time, everybody knows it. Don't need other people shouting out your business."

"I… appreciate your concern." Seth said uneasily, petting his dog and shifting a little as he realized his hair was dripping on the floor. "Still though… You don't think he went far, do you?"

"He's probably smoking my weed in the garage and talking on the phone." Dean mumbled. Seth snorted.

"You have _weed_ in the garage?" he spluttered, following after his boyfriend as he walked into the living room. Dean sat down in Roman's usual spot and fished in the crease of the cushion for the remote.

"Just a lil' bit," Dean shrugged, turning on the TV. "S'probably his actually. I don't remember..."

"You guys smoke pot in the garage?" Seth asked, sitting on the couch and watching as Dean tuned through the channels. He looked out the window, wondering if he was going to see Roman come marching up the driveway. It was starting to get dark, and he really hoped they just needed some time apart to cool off. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"We just got some the night before the fundraiser when we both went out," Dean said, shaking his head. "You're all weird about that stuff."

"No I'm not," Seth pouted. "Are you really mad at him?"

"I don't want to talk about it," Dean said, not looking at Seth. He tossed the remote down after he came up on a show about river monsters. "Just wanna watch TV."

Seth swallowed and watched Kevin settle next to him, curling up in the little valley Seth's weight made in the couch. Dean kicked his feet up and stared ahead resolutely. There had probably been too many words exchanged that night already to expect another lengthy conversation. As Seth tried to just relax and clear his mind, he doubted he could expect an easy week at work. For the time being, he knew he needed to just focus on whatever he could to keep moving. If White Water wasn't going to keep him mentally stimulated, Seth knew he needed to keep working on his physical therapy and seeing if he couldn't work out a little more. There were chores he could do around the house. Sasha's offer to go bowling next weekend was something to look forward to.

_ Assuming my boyfriends even want to go with me _ , Seth thought dismally, watching a fish thrash wildly around on the TV. A lot of things could change in four days, but Seth also knew Dean had some obligations to his knitting friends at the farmer's market. After the busy weekend with the fundraiser, it was possible the three of them might just need to recharge anyway.

Needing activity, Seth got up to do some dishes, sure that it was better than sitting around and brooding. Dean's plate that had been tossed in the sink still had some food on it, and Seth took the time to scrape it off before soaking the pan Roman had used to make the sausage. The sun began to set as Seth put the silverware in the dishwasher, and during a commercial break Dean came through the inspect the fridge again.

"You don't need to do that, I'll do 'em later," he mumbled, poking fruit juice out of the way of his search. Seth watched him for a moment, wondering if he was game for making eye contact. 

"Thought'd be nice," he said softly, shutting off the water. Dean sighed and Seth smiled a little. "Pretty sure Uce got rid of all the beer..."

"One more thing to be pissed about." Dean grunted, shutting the fridge. Seth could tell his boyfriend wasn't really serious, and as the TV played dimly in the background, Dean hovered after he shut the refrigerator door. 

He watched as Seth loaded up the bottom rack of the washer, and Seth tried to think of something to say. For a minute, he wondered how angry Dean would be if he admitted to rifling through his phone, but didn't think to seriously fess up about it. The tension in the air cooled and Seth actually made a little _ oof _ noise as he felt a hand touch his barely clothed hip.

"Can I help you?" he asked, surprised and nervous as Dean tugged at the elastic of his underwear, letting the material snap back as though he was investigating it's properties. Dean's face was blank and he just shrugged, walking back to the living room to finish his show. Seth scoffed loudly. 

"Go put on pants then," Dean said from the living room, as if to answer Seth's offense. Seth laughed out loud, leaning over to grab soap from under the sink. His dick was getting hard at the thought of his boyfriend pushing him over and hiking up a leg to fuck him against the side of the sink.

"So it's my fault, huh?" he said loudly, grabbing the soap flakes and pouring them into the dishwasher dispenser. Dean said nothing, and Seth sighed, pushing his front against the cupboards and feeling his cock throb. It was all misplaced, and it would probably be really poor form for the two of them to be fucking when Roman chose to come back. For whatever reason, Seth immediately got rock hard at the thought of Dean spanking him and he meditated on the thought for a moment as the dishwasher began to hum loudly. Wherever his mind was at the moment, he really wanted hands on him, hard ones. Somebody pulling his hair and handling him roughly. Perhaps it was because Seth felt low and guilty, but he didn't want to think about his negative emotions at the moment.

Instead, he came to the living room and began to hover over Dean, standing by the chair as his boyfriend watched the TV show. He was aware that his fuzzy legs were poking out of his underwear in a rather enticing way. Seth was still pretty well toned, with maybe a little less definition on his muscles than he might like. His hair was making his tank top damp, hanging in wet tendrils around his face. His reflection in the window showed him that his nipples were actually pretty visible through the fabric because of the water and Seth licked his lips, steeling himself.

Hoping Dean would go for it, he began to crawl over his legs, mounting the leg rest and chuckling a little as Dean cocked his head to the side, breaking his concentration with the TV. The furniture creaked a little from the added weight, but Seth stuck his good knee between Dean's legs and came to his eye level, before settling on his chest like an expectant pet. 

"Your hair is wet," Dean remarked, sighing and putting a hand on Seth's rump to reorient him into the more preferred position of laying sideways across his lap. Seth kicked his feet up on the arm of the chair and grinned as Dean shivered a little from the cold hair on his arm. "Freezing."

"Warm me up," Seth challenged, tucking his cheek against Dean's chest. Almost immediately, Seth could sense his heartbeat, pattering soft and slow under his t-shirt. They both smelled clean and fresh from the shower, and Dean set his opposite arm on Seth's shins, tickling his leg hair. 

For a moment, they just sat, and Seth wondered if Dean maybe wasn't in the mood to fool around with all the bullshit that was going on. They'd fucked around in more emotional turmoil before, but it had been a weird night. His boyfriend continued fussing with his body hair and just before the show ended, Seth felt his ass falling asleep, pinched by Dean's legs. As the commercial block started, Dean threw the remote down and looked at Seth with a sort of resignation. 

"How's your ass?" he mumbled, bucking his hips a little and jostling Seth. "Still shitting blood?"

"Excuse me? No," Seth scoffed, turning red. "I was never  _ shitting blood _ ." 

"Mm," Dean hummed, picking his lip. Seth ground his bottom against Dean's legs, trying to encourage. 

"I can do anything," he muttered, eyes flicking toward the window again, hoping Roman wasn't about to barge in. Playfully, he grabbed at Dean's hand, keeping him from messing with his face. Dean grunted and shifted, picking Seth up into his arms with a quick hoist and carrying him to the bedroom with the TV still on. Seth purred, keeping his legs close so he didn't smack his feet on the walls. 

Dean seemed slightly disconnected as he took off his own pants, but Seth just attributed it to the tension of the fight that had occurred earlier. His boyfriend had initiated the flirting anyway, Seth reminded himself as he tore off his own shirt and shot for the basket. He missed, but didn't care as Dean came in over him, exhaling hard before kissing him on the mouth. It was sort of tame and slow at first, and Seth was impatient, biting back and grinding his beard to his boyfriend's chin. 

"Get mad with me," he encouraged, whispering against his face. " _ Yeah _ ?"

Thankfully, Dean didn't need telling twice and Seth's belly twinged with excitement as both of Dean's hand's came over the side of his face and pressed him down into the mattress hard. Tongue filled his mouth, followed by teeth, and Seth shut his eyes, actually wanting to feel Dean smack him across the face. It was a very strange feeling, yearning for a painful sensation, and Seth wondered if Roman really pined for this sort of treatment on the regular. 

He gave out a soft and breathy moan as Dean managed to yank on his hair in the process of moving his head and Seth nibbled on Dean's lip a little. They bucked back and forth, cocks smacking through underwear and grinding while Dean's breath rattled hard inside Seth's ear. 

" _Yeah_?" he heard him say. Seth panted, eyes parting open to stare at the ceiling. The thousand-mile away feeling of sex was so freeing. Everything else was fading away, muted and dull.

"I want you to fuck me-" Seth said, spitting his own hair out of his mouth and watching as Dean withdrew slightly. "Want you to ride me hard."

Dean hesitated and Seth could see his eyes flick to the window, as though Roman was out there, watching with narrowed eyes. Dean bounced a little on the mattress, still pinning Seth down, he cracked his neck a little and stared. 

"I don't wanna make you bleed again…" Dean admitted, apparently unperturbed by the possibility of being walked in on. "Probably shouldn't…"

"C'monnnnnn…" Seth whined, his heart dropping as Dean dismounted him. But just as he began to scramble, Dean grabbed him by the hair and began pressing his face against his tented cock. Hands trembled feverishly and in an instant, Seth was being shoved into Dean's crotch, mouthing away. It wasn't quite the same as being roughly fucked, but Dean seemed to sense the urgency to make Seth as submissive as possible.

"Slutty as fuck lately," he heard Dean remark, grunting as Seth pulled back his foreskin and began to lap away, trying to build up saliva in his mouth. Mentally, Seth began to sink deep, closing his eyes, letting Dean tug on his hair and pull him around like a marionette as he worked. They rearranged, and Dean knelt on the bed against the headboard while Seth sat, nearly suffocated by Dean's hips pressing in. 

"Fucking best at sucking cock, goddamn," Dean breathed. Seth moaned as Dean mussed his hair to the side, probably to get a better look at him as Seth worked, sucking back and forth until Dean began to buck and it became incredibly important to just let his throat relax. 

_ Keep going _ , Seth moaned, encouraging the dirty talk as his own cock was leaking madly. To Dean, it probably just sounded like  _ mmm'p mmmimg _ , incomprehensible around a mouthful of dick. The message seemed to land though, as Dean licked his lips, breathing loudly. 

"I got all you need babe, fuck," he panted, grabbing Seth's head tighter and increasing the very subtle rock of his hips "I dunno what's wetter, your ass or your mouth... wanna come all the way down your throat, into your fuckin' stomach." 

Seth slurped and moaned, feeling spit trailing into his beard. His eyes were rolling back into his head under his eyelids and Dean gasped, bucking harder.

"You better fuckin' swallow it all… I know you will..." Dean exhaled. Seth could sense his nose running and he strained, feeling his throat struggle and kick up. He gagged, but Dean kept going, waiting for the usual little frantic tap that meant he needed to come up for air. Seth pressed his luck, trying to swallow a little and only managing to gag more. Dean moaned in praise, tugging on his hair, whispering  _ sweet cunt _ like it was an apology of some sort. 

Neither of them heard Roman come in, but they were never interrupted. The door shut and closed quietly and between Dean's cries of ecstasy and Seth's choking cough, too preoccupied to stay quiet. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like my life has been rushed since like the first week of the month and it's just wreaking havoc on this fic. That said, I think this pace is maybe a little easier for you guys to digest, seeing as how you have more time to sit and read and actually hunger for more. Next week I'll be on the west coast wrapping up some travel for my last book. I've also blathered on my blog about how I'm taking on more work for a co-worker who is getting surgery, so I'm helping with her clients. I don't know when my life got busy. This whole year has been insane. Good, but crazy.
> 
> But yeah, with all that said, I hope you enjoyed the chapter as much as one can enjoy a huge helping of anxiety, second hand embarrassment and maybe even a little disgust for Seth's behavior. If you haven't figured it out, I'm building up an intensely frustrating heel turn for Seth that largely mimics the initial break up of the shield. Now... this fic DOES end happy. I guess I'll spoil it to that point, just so you guys understand I'm not writing like a million billion word fic that ruins your life. This story ends okay, but we've got awhile to go. The characters have changed a ton since the start, and we've still got the whole summer of story to tell. 
> 
> Next chapter, the boys reckon with their actions and Seth struggles to find a new normal at work. I won't be posting it next week, but hopefully the week after I'll have a chunk of story for you guys. I appreciate your patience and comments. I'm glad you're still enjoying this. In case anyone was wondering, I will not be putting Joe Anoa'i's leukemia diagnosis in here as part of the central part of this story. Frankly, everything is too dramatic already and I don't need to.
> 
> Blah blah blah....
> 
> -Strykelass <3


	37. Confirmation Bias

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seth feels guilty, Roman texts back. Cesaro gives Seth a personal trainer's textbook and a few choice words.

For the first time since the bed-breaking incident, the three men were split from their shared bedroom for the evening and Seth continued to feel disconnected and strange. It was uncomfortable, hearing Roman moving around the house that evening, apparently uninterested with seeing them. Dean and Seth kept to the master bedroom, reading and knitting to keep to themselves while their third partner took the guest room for the night. 

"Are you _really_ mad at him?" Seth asked through the darkness as they laid in bed around midnight. Dean grunted and shifted around, looking at Seth through the darkness. The whole house had shut down for the day.

"Mm?" Dean mumbled. Seth could faintly see his outline, profile facing the ceiling. "Just fuckin' annoying is all."

Seth didn't say anything, but just lay, blinking in the darkness while Dean breathed. It took him several moments to gather his thoughts.

"Does he ever do that shit with you, where he like, tells you how to treat me or somethin'?" Dean asked quietly. "He's always trying to tell me how he thinks I should be with you and like saying, like I don't know better or anything."

"Like how?" Seth asked, curious. Dean just sighed, messing with the fringe on his forehead. 

"Like, just when you're having a hard time, like before you came back and when you got home. Just like, trying to tell me how I should be with you." Dean shrugged, "Just annoying."

Seth just stared into the darkness, unsure what to make of Dean's words. Roman was obviously very protective of them and usually supplied his own advice and input where it wasn't strictly necessary, but Seth had just accepted this as part of his boyfriend's character. It hadn't really been an issue until Roman had talked to Hunter.

_ But then, Uce probably thinks I'm more stable than Dean _ , Seth thought, yawning into his pillow.  _ He probably talks to Dean about me a lot because he doesn't think Dean knows what to do... _

Seth fell asleep trying to think of how he might bridge the gap between them the next day. These misunderstandings seemed to be happening more and more, and Seth didn't know what to do other than to just hope for the best and not get too upset about things he couldn't change. Roman was overbearing sometimes. Dean was emotional, but distant. Seth knew he wasn't perfect either, but he hoped his boyfriend's could see past that. 

But as it turned out, trying to talk seriously in the early morning before work was a rather impossible task. None of the three were every terribly coherent, huddling along the kitchen counter, waiting for coffee or toaster pastries. When Seth came out and found Roman at the kitchen table, texting on his phone, his brain was too sleepy to complete a convincing peacemaking speech. 

"I don't wanna be a dick," he mumbled, talking lowly as Dean was staring at the microwave as a hot pocket oscillated on the glass plate. Roman looked up, brooding and unenthused. "I think… we both said stuff… I didn't mean to get all emotional about it like I did."

"Mmkay," Roman grunted. Seth just stared blankly, wondering if he should just apologize. Roman craned his neck to where Dean was standing in front of the microwave. "Gunna clean the coop today then?"

"Mm," Dean hummed, opening the microwave door without looking to Roman. Seth watched as the man sipped his coffee and turned back to his phone. The avoidance was annoying, but Seth just swallowed, trying not to make things worse.

"I'm sorry if you thought… I was accusing you of something," he said, rubbing sleep out of his eyes and sighing hard. "I dunno… what else you want me to say."

"I don't want you to say anything." Roman grunted, still not looking up. At eight in the morning, it was the best he was going to get. Seth directed his attention to getting ready for work, and mostly ignored Roman as he left with Dean in the Cadillac, feeling annoyed at his own inability to resolve the situation. 

"Can we work out again today?" Seth asked as they pulled into White Water, watching a class emerging from a bus, parked in front of the park entrance. "I could probably do a romanian deadlift. I think that's okay with my leg."

"Yeah sure," Dean muttered, unbuckling his seatbelt and turning to grab his bag in the backseat. Seth watched his boyfriend struggle for a moment, his downturned blue eyes shining behind his sunglasses. Seth pursed his lips a little, waiting for Dean to look up. When their eyes met, he blushed a little before accepting a chaste little kiss. 

Whether Seth wanted to admit it or not, he was at least glad for the fact he had an ally in Dean. Even if the reasoning wasn't quite  _ honest _ .

It would have been a blessing to just plug into his day and ignore the world, but avoiding his bosses and a disgruntled boyfriend wasn't even the most difficult part of Seth's Tuesday. After separating from Dean in the break room, Seth expected to start his day unboxing cleaning chemicals in the boiler room, but was instead hailed to the boy's locker room in P-pool. Sami's walkie-talkie chatter explained a developing situation with a visiting school group and Seth squinted from the noise of children shrieking in the shower room and a horrible smell rising above the group of young boys.

"We have… uh… one of the boys…" A chaperone tried to explain, pointing back to the showers. Seth grunted and winced at the sight of a pool of vomit, trailing down from the tile and into the drain. A couple boys were yelling and laughing while another one cried, pathetically holding onto his swimsuit. 

These sorts of things had happened before, but Seth would have much preferred to be the one walkie-ing Kevin for help cleaning up. Unfortunately, Kevin was in the park finishing some sort of paint job and so Seth attended to the matter himself, striding fast to the pool deck to run a hose through the locker room. His head hurt from the smell and he felt his temperature rising, fast growing upset from the noise and water dampening his pants legs. 

"Fucking done with this," Seth muttered as soon as he was sure a kid couldn't hear him. He meant it. Lifeguarding was zen in comparison with constantly being at the beck and call of a whole facility. After flipping the towels in the dryer, taking out the trash and checking the pool chemicals in the spa's hot tub, Seth sat down with his phone and called the sports medicine clinic.

"Hello? This is Seth Rollins, I'm a patient." He explained quickly. "Could I make an appointment for tomorrow evening with Dr. Del Rey?" 

Sara was free, and so Seth felt a little better with the rest of his shift, sure that his physical therapist would give him whatever paperwork was necessary to continue lifeguarding again. As Seth observed the pool through the observation deck windows, he wondered if he could start as soon as next week. If Hunter and Stephanie's need was to be believed, he didn't see why he couldn't help with the indoor pools and feel his knee out with a little swimming. Really, it was the dry land duties that would be the greatest test of his capacity for strenuous activity. Kicking in the pool to swim was relatively low impact. Kneeling on hard tile to perform CPR for several minutes was the most questionable. 

Seth's eyes traced the emergency equipment on the deck, recalling the rhyme and order to each of their uses. Hunter would likely give him some sort of basic test to prove his ability to backboard or complete a rescue. It seemed like ages since he'd even been in the pool. 

**You made your PT appointment?** Cesaro texted him. Seth smirked, looking at his phone.  **Sara wonders how you are feeling**

**Tell her im great** Seth responded, pocketing his phone and pushing the wheeled garbage can back to the elevator.  **You wanna hang out tonight? Im working out with Dean but I miss ya!**

He probably should have been thinking of ways to smooth things over with Roman, but Seth could hardly think of anything more brilliant than what he'd said that morning. There wasn't a lot of space any of them to cool off, considering they worked and lived together. Making his way back to the boiler room, Seth scratched at his beard nervously, thinking that a little time apart might just be the best way to get past such a stupid misstep in their communication. 

His phone buzzed again and Seth pulled it out, eagerly expecting a message from Cesaro. He felt slightly uneasy as he saw his mother's contact info and he opened the text quickly. 

**Thinking of you, hope everything is going okay -mom** was all it said. No mention of wills or estate obligations. Seth swallowed, looking up as the elevator dinged and he emerged into the warm basement. 

**Doing okay thanks for checking in** Seth messaged back before pocketing his phone. Holly was probably getting ready to file all of the necessary documents with the court and while Seth was curious about the proceedings, he was decidedly content to let his mother keep him on a need to know basis. For the moment, Seth didn't have any reason to believe his family would be out to get his inheritance money, and thinking of their last conversation just stressed him out further. He started as the walkie talkie on his belt crackled for a moment, but the line went dead and Seth was relieved nobody was beckoning for him to attend to any more vomit. The boiler room hummed loudly and Seth pushed the garbage can into the corner hallway, next to the power scrubber. 

What would he do if Roman or Dean broke up with him independently and suddenly he was only a partner to one person? It was a very tricky scenario to imagine as the situation seemed to call for a double heartbreak. With things the way they were right now, it was fairly easy to worry over the possibility of Roman breaking things off with himself and Dean over the inheritance. Seth sighed hard, easily considering the reality that Roman's family might wholly veto their son moving across the country. He could even imagine Roman's stricken, panicked face, trying to tearfully explain his obligations to his family. 

Making up mop buckets, Seth paused for a moment, wondering if an opposite reality existed where Dean was the one to back out their arrangement. Though maybe a little less likely, it was entirely possible that Dean would become terrified of such a committed move of uprooting his life for more stability. It angered Seth to think of his mother becoming relieved by either possibility, glad that her son 'had some sense' and was 'getting serious' by engaging in a more traditionally understood gay relationship with only one other partner. As demonstrated by Roman's mother at Christmas, Roman and Seth looked rather compatible on their own.

He shook the thought from his head, pouring Fabulouso into the mop buckets and turning off the hot water. Seth wanted them both. He didn't want to go back to Iowa alone, but without  _ both _ men, it would be the most probable outcome. 

When he returned upstairs and had better cell phone coverage, Seth's phone buzzed with a text from his mother and his friend.

**Love you, tell Roman and Dean I said hello** Holly messaged. 

**If you would like to come over later, that would be great** Cesaro replied. 

**Cool Ill hit u up when we get done** Seth texted his friend. He stashed his phone in his pocket, and perhaps a minute passed before he felt the device buzz against his thigh. Looking around to be sure no one important was watching him, Seth went to wring out the mop before checking it. Instead of Cesaro, Roman had apparently texted their group chat and Seth blinked, holding his breath.

**Im not making dinner tonight so yall can figure out something for yourselves. Last night bummed me out and I dont appreciate you two fucking in my bed after havin such things to say to me. I get that there is a lot going on right now but I want to believe that we are all on the same page as far as trying to support each other and not trying to make each others lives more stressful than they already are.**

**If there is some other way i can be there for u both right now i need to know because i cant read your mind and all i want to do is help. I didnt want to say this over text but i feel like every time i talk im not heard and its not good for me. Im off work now if you guys want to talk but im going to go run errands this afternoon and might not be home until later.**

Seth looked at the clock, feeling low and guilty. Roman didn't deserve this, Seth was still a little sore about what he was feeling, but his boyfriend's words felt like a raw punch to the gut. 

**I love u both but i feel like we all need to breath for a second adn think before things are said that cant get taken back. Dean-im sorry that i took my anger out on you seth- im sorry if you feel like i did something to fuck up your job. Both of u are my boys <3 uce **

With a slightly trembling hand, Seth pocketed his phone and quickly resumed mopping. He was really starting to hate the nearly constant state of anxiety he was living in, with his mind zooming with possible things to respond with. Roman was upset, but all Seth could do was think of how he wanted to just bomb the text conversation with the news of his inheritance, as some sort of explanation of his behavior. It didn't justify his snooping on their phones or his secretive behavior, but it might take some of the weight off his shoulders. 

Seth moved the chairs and tables out of the way as he mopped, quickly flipping open a caution sign as the floors were cleaned. To someone passing by, he might have looked frantic, spilling water as he hurried to finish the task. The conversation in his phone was probably marked with a time stamp of when he'd seen it, and he hoped Roman wasn't burning with worry over his response.

Nervously checking his phone for the last time, Seth saw a direct text from Dean. 

**U still want to go to the gym?**

Seth closed his eyes and swallowed. 

**Yeah** he typed out, thinking for a moment. There really wasn't much else to say, so he just hit send and kept moving. 

* * *

It seemed impossible and frankly insincere to type out an affirmative response to Roman's text, and when Seth and Dean went to workout there was a static tension in the air. While he was sure that Dean was feeling annoyed and frustrated with their boyfriend's tactics for conflict mediation, Seth just wanted it all resolved.

Allowing Dean to help him load a bar, the pins and plates seemed oddly loud in the place of their conversation, Seth wished there was a way to get the guilty feeling off of his chest without making the whole situation immeasurably worse. If he admitted it, actually _admitted_ to going through their phones because he was cowardly and scared about everything he couldn't anticipate, well… Seth just didn't want to consider the consequences. 

Going to Cesaro's was both a pleasure and a distraction, and his friend seemed similarly enthusiastic to have company, sitting outside in the hot sun. Brace still fixed to his chest, he smiled wide when Seth walked up the sidewalk.

"It's so hot out, you didn't have to wait for me," Seth snorted, holding the door open to the condo so his friend wouldn't have to make the effort.

"It was a boring day, nothing much to do," Cesaro explained. "Thought I might get a little sun anyway. How was the gym?"

"Fine," Seth mumbled, accepting a glass of water and half smiling as Zoe the cat came out to see them, meowing in greeting. Cesaro's living space was about the same as it always was, with a few little touches that only an attentive girlfriend could provide. There were a few get well cards stuck to the refrigerator with magnets, as well as a polaroid the two had taken in some kind of photo booth. On the small dining room table, a vase with some flowers was resting, accompanied by a post it note with some sweet note scrawled across it. 

"I did some romanian deadlifts," Seth continued, patting his knee as he sat down on the couch. "Me and Dean hit the heavy bag at his gym yesterday, but today we just kinda did a bunch of random stuff."

"That is good, everything felt okay?" Cesaro asked, adjusting the strap to his brace across his shoulder. Seth nodded, trying to stay positive and keep his energy up.

"Yeah actually, I'm really hoping that Sara thinks it's a good idea for me to guard again soon. I want to get back to doing that…" he stopped himself from explaining the failed promotion. "It's weird like… the top of my knee still feels numb but it feels a lot more stable now. I can be on my feet for a lot longer."

"That is good," Cesaro said brightly, watching as Zoe hopped up to join them on the couch. "I am aiming to get out of this thing during the day soon, I have only just gotten used to sleeping in it I think, but Sara teases me that I will be inclined to start using it too fast and I think I agree with her." He nodded his head toward his brace and picked up the TV remote with his good hand. "Would you like to… watch something? Listen to music?"

"Whichever," Seth said, scratching at his beard. "Not picky."

Rather than picking out a vinyl to put on his record player, Cesaro streamed some music to his TV via his phone and assembled some cheese, meat and crackers on a plate for them to snack on. Seth followed him into the kitchen, helping him open a plastic bag and happily listening to his friend discuss physical therapy and his girlfriend. Cesaro had never been a mopey person before he'd hitched himself to the woman, but Seth would definitely say he seemed happier still to be in the relationship. After hearing about all the problems his friend had experienced, second guessing his career and moving away from his family, it was great to see him more fulfilled in his personal life. 

"But what about you?" Cesaro had asked as they moved back into the living room, snacking on some aged cheddar. "Is the inheritance going okay?"

"It's not really going at all yet," Seth shook his head. The snack was very good and he was finding his appetite after the gym. Usually around now, he would have been eating something Roman would have made for him. "I still… haven't told Dean and Roman anything yet… I talked to my mom earlier and she's just beginning the process of giving the courts the proper paperwork and all that. I think it's going to take a while to settle, so I've got some time to think through what I want to do." 

"That is good then," Cesaro said, nodding. "It must just be hard for you though… sitting on all of that information." 

"Yeah… well…" Seth sighed, licking his lips. "I think it's better than telling them stuff and then just having to wait and wait. Not like I know what I want to do with the money or anything. I think…" he paused for a moment, feeling stupid. "I think I just want to enjoy what I have right now before everything changes."

"Just so long as you do not explode," Cesaro smiled, "But I still think that your partners are more understanding than you might think."

"Mmm," Seth hummed, not wanting to consider the current miscommunications he had on his plate. "You and Sara getting up to anything this weekend?"

Cesaro thought for a moment, unsure.

"Perhaps, we have been doing smaller dates here and there when she has the time, why?" he asked. "She may have work on Sunday, I do not remember."

"I dunno," Seth admitted. "Sasha and Bayley invited me to go bowling. I think it might have been like a couples thing. I don't know if it was open invite or not, or…" Seth shrugged, nodding to Cesaro's left shoulder. 

"I am right handed, I could bowl a ball," Cesaro grinned. "Maybe I could ask Sara."

"Does she know I have two boyfriends yet?" Seth laughed, stacking another cheese cracker together and slumping back in his chair. He'd never explicitly explained his love life to his physical therapist, but Cesaro turned pink, cocking his head to the side. 

"I may have mentioned it, only because she asked about your boyfriend," Cesaro explained. "It was a  _ correction _ ."

"I  _ see _ ," Seth teased, shrugging it off. "It's fine, really." 

The two nibbled their way through two plates of snacks and talked for awhile about their bowling prowess and the boredom of healing from an injury. Cesaro's phone played some eighties pop hits lightly in the background and Zoe went from one man to the other, apparently looking for someone charitable enough to feed her cheese. In his pocket, Seth thought he could feel his phone buzz once or twice, but he put the thought aside. If he had to return home that night and do a lot of talking and apologizing, he wanted to enjoy his time with his friend for as long as he could. 

Cesaro seemed to be having a similar problem, but was inexorably drawn to check his device for texts from Sara, and Seth didn't mind much, eager to tease. He wasn't sure if he could properly take credit for putting the two together, but Seth privately patted himself on the back any time his friend's cheeks turned red and he went glossy eyed, thinking of the woman. 

"I've been thinking a little bit…" Seth admitted, setting down his empty water glass and shaking his head when Cesaro offered to refill it. "Well, I was talking to Dean the other day, and I was considering what I might want to do if I didn't have to worry about money. Like, if I got the inheritance, I was thinking about how I wanted to spend my time. But uh… what is the sort of trajectory for someone who might want to be a personal trainer?"

"You want to be a coach?" Cesaro asked with excitement, Seth just shrugged. "All of my griping did not deter you?" 

"I dunno, I guess not," Seth laughed, "I'm just… I'm just thinking about a lot of different things. I don't really know yet, but Dean seemed to think I'd be good at it."

"I think you would too!" Cesaro agreed. "Well, I have my degree in body science, but there are many people who are CPT's that do not have a degree. Many people do it in many different ways." 

"Well…" Seth began to think out loud. "Say I wanted to open my own CrossFit Gym, I would probably just need all the small business stuff figured out and then I'd need to have a certification to train people?"

"And insurance," Cesaro laughed, "So people cannot sue you when they break their knees or their shoulders."

"Right…" Seth chuckled. "Well… I wouldn't have to go back to college though?" 

"For CrossFit you can just be certified in a weekend, it is about a thousand dollars." Cesaro said, listing off on his fingers the various options. "For a personal trainer, you do a study course and take a test, which you have a year to study for. You can also do group exercise, but if you want the affiliate for CrossFit you must be CrossFit specific."

"...Okay," Seth nodded, more interested as Cesaro outlined the parameters. It seemed more nebulous and open, but interesting. Truthfully, if Seth was running a gym, he wouldn't really have to train people unless he wanted to. He could just hire others to do the job for him, but then he would just be a business person. Which wasn't necessarily a bad thing, he just didn't  _ know _ what he wanted. 

"If you want help making a gym…" Cesaro began, his smile cutting to the top of his dark eyes. "We can discuss a small consulting fee…"

"I might hold you to that!" Seth laughed, Cesaro began to dig under the coffee table and Seth moved his legs so his friend could access whatever he was looking for. "I mean, this is years in the distance I think, I still don't know what I want to do and obviously I'm a little more concerned with the immediate shit I gotta deal with-"

Cesaro produced a book and set it on his couch in front of Seth. It was some sort of personal training manual. The cover showed a woman doing some sort of chest press on a yoga ball, with another woman kneeling next to her, instructing. The pages were dogeared and several sticky notes were jutting from the top, sectioning off important points. Seth blinked, picking up the textbook and rifling through sections about body science and proper forms for movements. In the margins, Cesaro had written little notes and highlighted key points. 

"The test is sort of tricky, but you are smart," Cesaro said, leaning back on the sofa. "You can borrow it, see if it is something you want to do."

"You sure?" Seth asked, "You don't need this for training or anything?"

"No no, it's fine," Cesaro shook his head, "Take it."

"Man, thank you, this is awesome," Seth said, quickly peering through a chapter on macronutrients. Aside from the prospect of turning the knowledge into some sort of business plan, Seth could tell he was excited just to pour over the literature in his hands for the sake of learning something interesting. 

"Yes, if you have any questions I would be happy to help," Cesaro said. Seth nodded, flipping towards the back of the book where there was a whole chapter on behavioral change and Psychology. Not wanting to be rude and ignore his friend, Seth snapped the book shut, smiling wide for the first time that week. 

"It would be cool to have my own gym," Seth said, tapping the cover with his fingers. "Or just be a trainer or something. Roman's even becoming a chiropractor. Maybe we'd have joint ventures or something."

"There you go," Cesaro laughed. "You will break the backs and he will fix them."

"Ha, that's what Dean said," Seth smirked, trying not to let the warm feeling vanish as he remembered how difficult things were at the moment. "If I can ever get around to telling them... "

"What if you told them tonight?" Cesaro asked, fixing Seth was a determined glance. "What if you sat them both down and told them that you were very nervous and scared, but you wanted to tell them about what you knew?"

"Not gunna happen," Seth laughed nervously, "It's uh… well… It's fucked up right now even," he paused, thinking of what exactly to say. Cesaro was a neutral party, unless Seth admitted to something that was vicious and against the law, the chances that he would interfere were minimal. But still, he hadn't really talked to anyone about this yet and he had no idea what to expect. 

"So…" Seth began, Cesaro looked very interested, his eyebrows slightly furrowed. "Maybe this is a shitty question, but uh... " he laughed nervously again, unable to keep eye contact. "If you thought that uh, if you had some reason to believe that Sara was maybe keeping something from you or doing something you didn't approve of…" Seth bit his lip. "Let me rephrase that…"

"It's… okay," Cesaro said, smiling a little anxiously. "Go on."

"Okay, so," Seth said, "Let me maybe just ask this- do you think that there's ever a situation where it's okay to read your partner's texts? Like in their phone?" 

"Did… someone read your texts?" Cesaro asked, perturbed. Seth's heart beat fast, already sensing this conversation wasn't going to go well. 

"N-no, uh," Seth spluttered. It was probably too late to make this a hypothetical question. "No… um, I… I read…. Some of… Roman's…"

Cesaro blinked and Seth bit his lip harder, straining his face. It felt like torture getting the words out, but there was something to be said for having them  _ out _ . Suddenly, the ugliness of it all was on full display and he felt naked and hideous in the light of the truth, but there had been some kind of release. 

"Well…" Cesaro said, looking to the floor. "I… I cannot imagine doing that, no," he was flushed, also embarrassed. "I do not think… Are you, are you alright Seth? You think Roman has been dishonest with you?"

"Well," Seth said, voice ratcheting up an octave. The sun was fading under the horizon line now, the evening light leaking through Cesaro's window. "I know… because of reading… because of the texts."

"Seth, are you  _ okay _ ?" Cesaro asked, clearly at a loss for what to say. "What has been done?" 

"He hasn't, he hasn't  _ cheated _ or anything," Seth said, feeling a faint shiver at the word. His whole body felt constricted and sort of numb. "It's messed up, it all is, and I know what I did isn't right, but a lot of the things that I thought were happening _are_. He's talking to his sister a bunch- about me and Dean and I know that we frustrate him a lot and it's part of why I'm really scared to tell him about the inheritance because I know that he's not going to take it well. Like, his family is really dysfunctional and weird and I know that if I tell him about what's going on, he's probably going to have them dragging him down and even if he  _ does _ want to move… well... " Seth shook his head fast. "I'm r-really not proud of it, at all, like I said… I know it's bad, but…"

Cesaro squinted, clearly confused. Seth swallowed hard, glad that he hadn't admitted to looking at Dean's phone as well. Part of him felt immensely sad, the guilt folding over on itself as he realized Cesaro hadn't expected this kind of behavior from him. 

"You… read his phone messages to his family, but he is not… Seth he is not hurting you, though?" Cesaro pried, turning his head in confusion. "He is not saying things to you that would… manipulate… or…"

"No, no, nothing like that," Seth said, "This is between us, yeah?" he blurted out, hurriedly trying to cover his tracks. "You wouldn't-"

"I wont… tell…" Cesaro said, clearly looking a little conflicted and disturbed by it all. "If I was having a problem with Sara or anyone, I do not think I would let it get to the point of feeling like I had to look at their phone, no." Cesaro explained as delicately as he could. "In answer to your question."

"R-right… but…" Seth shifted in his seat, pushing stray hairs behind his ear. "Even if… even if your inheritance was like… over half a _million_? Even if you were trying to make sure you were making the best decisions for that?"

His voice lilted pathetically at the end and Cesaro looked at the ground, shaking his head.

"No… I do not think that… I don't think that would change my decision," he said sadly. "Do they… do they know that you have done this?"

"I read… I read a text about how Roman talked to Hunter about me. About the promotion I was supposed to get, remember?" Seth said distractedly, obviously not wanting to answer the question. He continued, staring deadpan at the floor as he explained how the text had disrupted everything and Seth paused, hearing Cesaro groan slightly at the mention of bringing up the text to Roman. The more he talked, the more numb he felt, feeling the initial adrenaline of his honesty being replaced by a coldness. Seth felt awful, it was wrong, and the more he thought about it he knew it was terrible. But then, he'd arrived at this conclusion before,  _ why had he done it again?  _

"And so… now everyone is upset." Seth sighed, capping off the story and gesturing uselessly. "That's why it's  _ not  _ a good idea to dump all the shit about the inheritance on them. At this point, I think Roman's pretty exhausted of me."

Cesaro didn't dispute this, but Seth could tell it was all very troubling. His friend looked like he'd swallowed something awful and he sat, at a loss for words, staring at the floor. 

"I understand how you can be very upset about everything going on, but I also think that you have to be more…" Cesaro began, trying to find the proper english word. "Proactive? This is a very difficult situation and things will not get better unless you feel supported and balanced, so that you may arrive at the correct conclusion."

"Right," Seth agreed, eager for some sort of advice. However, Cesaro looked at him mournfully, as though he wasn't sure if he was allowed to give it. 

"Can you… Well… Seth, I promise to keep this between us, but perhaps can you promise me you will _not_ do this again?" Cesaro asked. 

Seth felt a sort of icy sensation in his chest. His friend's eyes were very serious and all Seth could do was nod quickly, sure that he just wanted to do what was right. He didn't regret telling Cesaro about the situation, but he hadn't expected any sort of purposeful action to come from it. 

"I don't want to, look at their phones, I mean," Seth rambled. Cesaro nodded. 

"If you… find yourself wanting to, and it is because you do not… feel supported or you are feeling nervous, perhaps call me instead?" Cesaro suggested. "I will be honest, if I was in a relationship with someone and I found them looking at my phone conversations, I would be very upset."

It stung, but Seth nodded. His face felt numb and ashen, but he knew his friend was right. 

"Things are hard right now," Seth said blankly, staring at Zoe, who was now on the floor on her back, sleeping. Cesaro reached out a hand and Seth chuckled hopelessly, loosely grabbing it.

"You are not a bad person, Seth," Cesaro said, which sort of made him feel like the worst thing on earth. "But you cannot do things like that." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The slap on the wrists we were waiting for. Will Seth listen? Next chapter, we get a little resolution. 
> 
> My trip went really well and other than thanksgiving I think I'll be staying home for the rest of the year. I want to work through the winter and I don't really want to be bothered with the holidays, so we'll get some more consistent chapter updates assuming a giant rock doesn't fall on me. Thanks for the kind reviews! It's always cute seeing people go back and re-read and enjoy things from part one or earlier chapters. The foreshadowing echoes pretty far back, so it's pretty fun.
> 
> Thanks for the reviews, hope you enjoyed,
> 
> -Strykelass <3


	38. Vows Unwritten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The three talk. Will Seth admit what's going on?

It wasn't as though Cesaro had told Seth anything that he didn't know himself, but it was very difficult to hear his friend's assessment of the situation. Cesaro was more than just a friend, in a lot of ways, Seth idolized the man and admired his outlook on life. They'd bonded over CrossFit and their friendship had given Seth community when he'd first arrived in Florida, which was why his criticism stung so much. His chest physically hurt, watching Cesaro's face sink with disappoint and discomfort and Seth barely held it together through the rest of their meeting.

"You're right," he'd said simply, voice hoarse and low. "I just… with everything going on, it's been hard for me to see what's right and what… I believe in I guess."

But even that was sort of a lie. Seth couldn't admit it to his friend, but he'd snooped in his boyfriend's phones long before his grandfather had passed away. But at the moment, he couldn't stomach any more embarrassment. Cesaro just nodded, too cautious to provide words of encouragement. 

"Well… you know why you are wanting to do such things," his friend said, sighing hard. "It is sometimes hard for us to get to the root of our actions, but the more you think about it, the more obvious it will become."

Seth just nodded, sort of comprehending what his friend was getting at. He needed to be honest with himself, even if he couldn't quite fess up to his boyfriends just yet. His meeting with Cesaro ended shortly after that, painfully clunky and awkward as they wished each other goodnight. Seth stashed the personal training textbook in the passenger's seat of the Cadillac and set off for home, blinking hard against the streetlights and listening to the radio. 

If Dean or Roman admitted to Seth that they'd gone through his phone, Seth wasn't sure if he'd feel outraged or not. Feeling sympathetic to his own behavior, he assumed that he might ask his boyfriend's why they'd thought that such an action was justified. Because he had cheated on a partner before and had his information absconded with by someone he'd wronged, there had been a period where Seth was a little more diligent about what he used his phone for. Presently, Seth couldn't imagine anything in his phone being used against him. He'd uninstalled Grindr after the disastrous hotel incident, long before he started dating Roman and Dean. Nothing he ever said in texts was particularly damning. If either of his boyfriends got into his phone, Seth told himself it wouldn't be grounds for a breakup.

It  _ would _ be damaging though, he couldn't deny that. Turning toward the highway that lead home, Seth knew that his trust in his partners  _ would _ be greatly diminished. He'd probably change a lot of his passwords and maybe invest in some additional security applications for his phone. 

At a red light, Seth remembered his phone had buzzed earlier and he checked it quickly, making sure there weren't any cop cars at the intersection. Their group chat had notifications.

**We'l talk later** Dean had said, in response to Roman's long text from before. It had been sent around 5:30, probably when they had been at the gym. And then, later when Seth had left-  **Seth is out with Cesaro but im gunna be home**

**Kk** was all Roman had responded with. Seth exhaled hard, thinking. He wasn't sure if he was hoping that his boyfriend's were home or not. It was obvious that they needed to talk, but Seth's nerves were already fried from talking with his friend. Could he come up with some sort of explanation that sounded sincere? Or should he just buy more time by saying he needed more space?

At risk of being tacky, Seth swallowed his pride and pulled up to the 24 hour grocery store, hoping they might still have what he needed. Roman was always buying them stuff and making them food, and Seth knew he needed to make a real effort to put into an apology. Especially since he couldn't  _ really _ make up for the breach of trust. 

The flower section was fairly well pilfered, as it was so late in the day, but Seth hurried to pick a few roses out of the case that weren't terribly old and pathetic looking. The checkout lanes had been narrowed down to just a few aisles, and he paid without bothering to look at the total, tossing his credit card across the counter. His heart beat fast as he made his way back home, occasionally speaking sentences aloud that he wanted to try. 

"You're more patient than I am with me," Seth said to thin air, scratching his bearded chin nervously. It was hard to anticipate Roman's reaction, but if he could accurately pinpoint the tone of the last texts, it seemed more dejected than anything. "You're right… about everything…"

Pulling up to the house, Seth sighed, looking at the roses. As his car headlights died, he felt a wash of fear run over him, realizing that they'd essentially had this disagreement several times before. With all of the missteps in communication, Seth knew his relationship would be in real trouble if he couldn't learn to properly process his emotions. Cesaro had been right, and Seth  _ needed _ to stop looking at his partner's phones, for his own sake. 

Swallowing hard, he thought about the massage that Roman had purchased him as a gift. He was taking way too much for granted, and Seth felt low and undeserving at the thought of using the voucher. He'd offer it back to his boyfriend if it meant that things could normalize a little. 

The whole neighborhood was quiet, but there was a light on in the living room as Seth walked up to the house. Kevin's usual greeting signalled his entrance and he steeled himself, opening the door and trying to put on a confident and kind face. Dean was sitting on the couch in shorts and a white tank top, and Roman was in his usual chair. Both men looked up as Seth came in, but merely nodded, clearly already in the middle of a conversation. 

"I think… you're right," Dean said simply, continuing on with their conversation and thinking hard as he nibbled on his own finger. Seth watched, listening hard as he removed his shoes, hiding the flowers from view. "I just feel… I dunno. It's not like  _ I'm _ causin' trouble."

"...You're not," Roman sighed softly, frustrated. Seth's blood chilled. "And don' get me wrong, sometimes I do appreciate the chillness, but it gets me worried cause I know you're having a hard time, but it's like you don't know how to use your words to tell me what's going on."

Seth stood in the doorway, looking in, but simultaneously not wanting to intrude. Dean continued to chew his hand, staring forward. He shrugged, not meeting Roman's eyes. 

"What's up?" he said to Seth, dropping the subject. Roman just nodded. "How's your bud?"

"F-fine," Seth said hoarsely, stuffing his hands in his pockets and looking to the floor where his dog was sniffing around. "Don't let me interrupt…"

"We're just talking," Roman said, motioning for the couch. "Feel free to pop a squat."

"I got you…" Seth reached behind the door frame to the short counter where they frequently tossed the mail, grabbing the roses he'd purchased. Roman raised an eyebrow, but extended his hand, accepting the gift. "Been thinking all day. About everything."

Dean fidgeted, digging his hands into his canvas knitting bag at the foot of the couch. Seth watched Roman sit back, smelling the flowers and keeping the buds close to his nose, thinking hard. Instead of moving to the couch, Seth sat on the floor, hoping Kevin might keep his hands occupied. The living room buzzed with an unpredictable, strained energy.  

"We're chattin'," Dean mumbled eventually, addressing the knitting needles instead of Seth. "Me and Uce talked about how we talk and don't talk and how it's good and bad. And stuff."

"Mmm," Seth hummed, entirely unsure of what to expect. The crude part of himself that wanted to check his boyfriend's phones twitched, jealous and curious about what they had said. It all seemed impossible to explain without outing himself, but Seth thought hard as he sat on the cold floor, anxious.

"I didn' want to send out a text," Roman said, sighing again and unfolding his legs. He set the flower aside, amused but undistracted. "I knew it probably sounded dumb, but I meant what I said and really wanted it to get past whatever feelings you had initially. About the job and me and Hunter."

"I'm over it," Seth said weakly, shaking his head, unable to meet Roman's eyes. His boyfriend folded his arms and Dean looked up, watching.

"Well, I'm  _ not _ ," Roman said. Seth could feel his gaze burning a hole through him and he tried to sit up straighter and appear present. Their gazes met and Seth could tell Roman was really uncomfortable and fragile. His eyes looked wet and tired, softer than usual.

"I feel like, every time I bring something up," Roman continued, stroking his chin. "Specifically with you Seth, I feel like you just apologize and try to get good with me immediately. You don't really hear me, and it's something I've really like… struggled with. Not just with you, with other people too, but it fucks with me when I feel like you're just shutting me down in order to get through the situation at hand," Seth blinked, shivering at the sound of his name being spoken flatly. "Not to like… bring up old shit… but... a lot…" 

Roman sighed, running his hands over his face. Dean's knitting needles clicked faster. From the floor, Seth felt like an ant, entirely vulnerable to whatever his boyfriend's had to say. 

"A lot of what I like… am workin' on as a person is just… not letting people trample all over me just 'cause I want them to like me and shit," Roman concluded, looking let down. "As I've gotten older, I've realized how much my family like, instilled that in me and I know that I can't be the person I want to be if y'all can't listen when I'm trying to be honest and respectful."

"I listen-" Seth said, maybe a little too fast. "I try… I just... " he backpedalled, watching Roman's lips thin. "I think I just don't know… how to take it all in…"

"I just… I get how I didn't  _ help _ you out with the job." Roman said, face straining slightly as he knew he was going back to a sour subject. "I just don't get how we all were fighting about it so fast and why it felt like you were accusing me of something instead of talking to me about it."

Seth opened his mouth, but realized he was just going to spew more lies if he was allowed to. Dean wasn't looking at them at all, ensconced in his knitting. Kevin sat down beside Seth, begging to be pet, but Seth just closed his mouth, nodding. 

It was good to know that Roman was thinking about these things. Obviously it would have felt better if Seth wasn't the asshole in the situation, but it couldn't be helped. His breath shook in his chest and he had to force himself not to cry. Tears would just make him seem like a victim, but as Seth looked at the roses resting on the couch, he wanted to yell and break something.

"I think we've all been here for each other." Roman said, looking over to Dean for some sort of confirmation. "If we're… if we're getting to a point now where there's too much shit going on to be in a relationship-"

"It's not that," Seth spluttered. Dean still wasn't looking up and it was sort of killing him.  _ Perhaps they'd already talked about it?  _ The thought only horrified him further. "That's definitely not… what's going on."

"I'm not trying to break us up," Roman said quickly, actually smiling as he held out a hand. "I think… I feel like we just need to check in here. I feel like we're hittin' these walls because we don't know what's going on. I feel like we should clarify or something. I don't want to hear a bunch of apologies about shit," he said, waving Seth off like he was a fly. "I said what I wanted to say on the phone. We need to listen to each other. For real."

"What…" Seth mumbled, voice very quiet. The relief of not being broken up with was palpable and he hoped he didn't look too shaky. "What… do you want to clarify?" 

"What this is maybe?" Roman said, looking to Dean again and managing to hold his attention. "What's going on? I think I might feel a little bit more inclined to take some abuse if I knew what the fuck we were even doin' here."

"Don't say it like that," Seth said, shrinking a little. Roman readjusted in his seat, clucking his tongue. 

Thinking back, the last time they'd all sat in the living room with such emotionally charged conversation, Seth and Dean had just returned from their Miami trip. It was just mere months ago when they'd loosely defined the relationship. Seth had been incredibly nervous and apologetic then as well, just after Thanksgiving when he'd let it slip to Dean that he'd loved him. They'd rode bikes outside when it was still cool and hospitable. Somehow, Seth didn't expect this conversation to end as well.

"I feel like, this is a good set up," Roman said, looking between both boyfriends before putting a hand to his chest. "I feel like… I'm happier than I was before and I like that we're like, this unit. I wanna provide for you guys and you know I like being this rock for y'all to lean into," he began. "Before, I think I was still kinda burned out and cryin' over Dan, and at first I just like, wasn't sure what this was so it was nice because it wasn't serious and it was a lot of fun and shit. I hated living alone, so maybe I jumped in a little quick, but I don't regret anything." 

Dean set his knitting down, mouth slightly gaped as he watched Roman work through his thoughts. Seth swallowed hard.

"But like, right now, I think I get worried, thinking about what this is gunna be when I'm in school full time and what we'll be at the end of the summer, yeah?" he said, scratching at his tattooed arm. "Things are changin' all the time and I get that that's just life, but I don't know what you guys want, yeah?"

Seth looked at the floor, nodding hard again. He supposed that he was happy he wasn't getting yelled at, but this conversation was just as muddied. Dean's toes were curling, pressed white against the couch cushions. Roman knitted his fingers together looking between both men.

"I think-"

"I-"

Seth and Dean both blushed, looking between each other and they all chuckled nervously. Dean insisted he wasn't sure what he wanted to say yet, and so Seth cleared his throat. He felt equally unsure, but they all knew Dean usually needed more time to get his words out.

"I… agree," Seth said, nodding again and feeling his neck becoming sore. "You're right and I don't think any of us have ever really said anything about like... the future or whatever. I still don't know what I want, but I like, definitely am always thinking of you guys in my plans." Seth swallowed hard, immediately thinking of the inheritance. "There's… there's times I think about like, what…" 

His heart was beating hard and Seth couldn't quite meet Roman's gaze, sure the expression would only cow him further. 

"What… I think a future with you two would look like, even outside of the span of maybe a year or a few years or so. Nothing's ever… ever for sure  _ obviously _ , but like, I'm having a good time here." Seth said, smiling nervously. "Even… if maybe I don't act like it."

"You  _ do _ act like it," Roman said quietly, leaving a strange silence as Seth felt his chest seize from the tenderness of it all. "We know you're having a hard time. We're still trying to… make room for that."

"I've always been a miserable fuck," Seth said lowly. "Like I know… it's not an excuse… but I am really grateful that you guys are here for me and that I'm not just like, back in that apartment complex all by myself," he steeled himself, taking a deep breath. "Right when I moved down here, I knew I really liked both of you guys, like as soon as I met you both-" Seth said, looking from Dean to Roman. "That was the whole trouble… probably why I acted all shy and shit. I just didn't know what to do or how to express myself. I think I was even still thinking it was too soon after my last boyfriend, but I kept like... weighing the pros and cons of asking either of you out. Not like I was planning for the future then-" he scrambled, shaking his head. "I think it's pretty obvious that I haven't got a clue most of the time."

"I mean," Dean said, hardly a whisper, looking to Seth. "If you hadn't said anything, I don't know if anything would have ever happened between us."

"That's not true," Roman sighed, laughing and rolling his eyes. "Yes and no, but don't sell yourself short-" he looked to Seth. "We'd all messed around."

"I've  _ liked  _ you for six years," Dean said to Roman, the emphasis on _ like _ obviously distinguished. For Seth, it wasn't the largest surprise in the world, but Roman blushed hard, apparently thrown out of his element. Really, the most shocking aspect of the whole thing was that Dean had admitted it so freely. After a few moments of brooding silence, he turned between the two men, thinking hard.

"I trust you guys more than most people, and I still dunno if… I dunno… if any of this stuff matters." Dean shrugged, motioning to Roman as he picked his knitting back up. "But then you just told me I should say shit..."

"You  _ should _ ," Roman said, looking dismayed. "Absolutely."

"Well… yeah, I mean, I liked you for forever, and I think part of me just thought it was never gunna happen. So then you moved here-" Dean pointed at Seth. "And yeah, well, I just felt really weird 'cause you were really cool to me and you helped me out with my bedbug shit. I didn't ever think this could happen and I still feel like I'm gunna wake up and it won't be here or something." He looked between Seth and Roman, eyes wide, but easily the most calm and collected of the three. "What… what are we talking about again?"

"Just…" Roman exhaled hard, having a hard time digesting everything Dean was saying. "I dunno… I'm not looking for anything specific…" 

"You okay?" Seth asked Roman, looking between the two like a tennis match. Dean continued to peer down at his knitting, but Roman grabbed for his roses, fiddling with the packaging and making it crinkle. 

"Yeah, I'm fine," Roman said, looking to Dean. "I'm just sorry… if that ever fucked with your head man, that's a lot to hear."

Seth sighed, still not satisfied with what he'd said. No matter how hard he tried, he always felt like his words were that of some teenager forced to talk about his feelings. There weren't any magic words to solve this, and he tried not to think about all the times he'd searched for remedies instead of actively listening to his boyfriend's wishes. It stung to hear all of this, from Roman and Dean and even Cesaro, but Seth just tried to breathe normally, taking solace in the fact that they weren't in any immediate danger of breaking up.

"I want to be with you guys for awhile," Seth said, easing himself off of the ground to sit on the couch between them. There had to be a way for him to introduce the inheritance eventually. "I've thought a lot about it, but I dunno, the more I think about what I want to do in the future and what I want for like, my  _ own _ happiness... but I imagine the both of you." he looked to Roman, who was nodding and trying to keep himself together. "I want to help you through school and be there for you. I don't want you to have to be all stressed out about being a student or not seeing us as much. We can… make food for you or do date nights when you aren't studying… if that's what you're worried about."

"I'm not…" Roman shrugged his shoulders, "I'm  _ less _ worried about that and more worried about the both of you having some sort of issue and not being able to tell me because you're stuck in your feelings."

Nobody really had a good answer to that and Seth swallowed, watching Kevin trot off with one of his chew toys. For a few moments, Seth tried to speak, but couldn't really find his words. Roman instead drew in a large breath, staring at the ceiling. It was  _ agonizing _ , knowing what Seth knew, and being certain that he couldn't spell it out. 

"I'm sorry, I just…" Roman sniffed hard, wiping his eyes. Both Seth and Dean watched, frozen on the spot. "I know you guys are trying… it just fucks me up a bit how I feel like it's my fault that you guys can't come to me about things. Like… you have your own issues of trust and stuff. I  _ get  _ it. It's my problem, not yours," he sniffed hard, large frame shaking a little. "But I can't pretend it doesn't… fuck with me."

"Uce, I trust you, a thousand percent," Seth said, sliding across the couch to the armrest of Roman's chair and extending out a hand. Dean put his knitting down. "It's not your fault… I'm shitty with this stuff… You've told me before and I'm trying to get better." 

Dean grabbed the tissue box from the coffee table and tossed it across the room. It hit the footrest with a dull thud and fell on the floor, actually making Roman smile and giggle through his tears. Seth stooped to grab it, offering his boyfriend a tissue. 

"You wanna lay in bed?" Dean offered as Roman blew his nose."We can wrap you'n all the blankets and smother you."

"M'okay," Roman said gruffly, wiping his eyes again. Seth rubbed his large hand, smoothing the knuckle and staring at his well manicured nails. The whole thing seemed to be a perfect storm of hard times and bad choices, and the more Seth thought about it, the more he realized the situation would be explosive if he admitted to his breach of privacy. Roman was insecure about trust, because of Seth's own attitude and actions. Thinking logically, there was no reason for him to think that Roman had anything but the best intentions for him.  _ Why was he looking through their phones if he really trusted them? _

"I feel like…" Dean said, staring at the floor, "I feel like I'm supposed to feel more stuff than I do, and it's only ever a problem when we're all talkin' like this and I'm never the chatty one. But when I am mad or pissed off about some shit, I don't want to bother either of you guys about it because it's just going to pass and it's not even real. Not like…" he paused, shaking his head. "Not like  _ your  _ feelings aren't real, but I feel like it just ruins my days more when you have to get at me and pry me open with a crowbar about shit."

"You've gotten a lot better, like I said earlier," Roman said, clearly exhausted. "I just… I think I need to feel like everything I'm doing isn't being taken for granted here. I get that we all…. Give a little differently, but some more gratitude would be nice."

"I get that," Seth agreed softly, pressing into Roman's hand. Dean got up and went to the kitchen, presumably for a snack. 

"And… I know that talking isn't easy, but maybe if we did do a weekly or a monthly date night thing, it would give us some time to decompress about this stuff. Just us… something that we can pick together and leave space to talk about shit," Roman proposed, talking loud enough for Dean to hear. "I dunno. Do you guys ever get overwhelmed by us being three and not two?"

"No," Seth shook his head, sort of lying, but not wanting to sound like a victim. Dean re-entered the room with a bag of chips, thinking.

"Yeah, your guys's hair clogs the drain up all the time," Dean mumbled through a mouthful of chips. "I dunno… I feel like… no matter what, there's always gunna be somethin' you know? It's just life and living with humans."

"I like you guys a lot," Seth said, trying to cheer up the room. "I  _ love _ you in fact. I feel like this is all my fault and… I don't want to create stress between either of you. I'd hate if you couldn't tell me stuff either." Part of him wanted to bring up Roman smoking pot in the garage, but now really wasn't the time. "I know I didn't get the job, whatever happened… it doesn't matter now. I want to move forward and get back to lifeguarding. I scheduled another PT appointment, so hopefully I'll be moving in the right direction. Do you feel a little better now?" He asked Roman, but he spluttered, trying to remember that he didn't want to shut his boyfriend down. "If you're not, that's okay… just tryin'... to be communicative..."

"Little bit," Roman nodded, "Thinking of making some tea."

"I'll do it," Seth volunteered, leaning in to kiss his boyfriend on the cheek. "Sorry I made you feel like this."

It wasn't a perfect, seamless fix for everything that had happened, but Seth just felt weird and numb after they'd all confessed what had been on their minds. Dean sat with Roman for awhile, and when Seth returned with a cup of brewed tea, the two had actually pulled out the living room couch and were spooning on it. For all of Dean's usual fidgeting and hang-ups about contact, he looked rather content with Roman draping his arm across his side. Roman himself just looked exhausted, eyes half lidded when Seth set his tea on the end table, to drink whenever he wanted to. The pull out could fit three if they desired, but Seth still felt like he was intruding in some way, like it would just be best if he left them be. 

_ Not like I deserve it right now anyway _ , Seth thought, removing himself from the scene to do a load of their laundry. Roman and Dean watched TV from the living room and didn't seem terribly insistent about Seth watching Trailer Park Boys with them. Maybe Roman still knew Seth had something to admit, and as much as Seth wanted to ask about what the two had talked about before he came home, he was pretty sure Dean's blunt summary was all he could expect. 

Hopefully, they might be up for some bowling at the end of the week. Maybe Seth could finance a grilling session for the three of them that friday evening. It was sticky outside, but they could always bring the food indoors. But as much as he considered ways to promote gratitude, Seth felt lowly and disgusting, hearing Cesaro's stern voice in his head about how he couldn't readily forgive untrustworthy behavior.

"You good?" Dean asked, coming into the bedroom as Seth was putting a new sheet on the mattress, anxiously cleaning. Seth paused, nodding fast.

"Yeah, just really exhausted," he sighed, "Thanks for talking to Uce… I know you were mad the other day."

Dean just shrugged, tossing his phone and wallet on the dresser. In the other room, he could hear Roman walking around, probably cleaning up and shutting the house down.

"We're all on the same team," Dean rattled off, giving Seth a friendly pat on the rear before making his way to the bathroom. "Somethin' like that…"

Roman came in shortly after, and Seth was beginning to sense that the three were going to snuggle and fuck. Just as he was fitting pillows with clean pillowcases, he felt arms around his shoulders, drawing him in. 

"I love you," Roman grunted, kissing him on the cheek. Seth tilted his head, reciprocating. 

"Love you back," he mumbled. "Sorry again, about everything."

"I don't…" Roman sighed, "I wanna say it's okay but I also  _ don't _ just so we can all think and stuff, but I don't mean to say all this stuff for you to sulk. You know that right?"

"Do you… think I'm sulking?" Seth asked, feeling uncomfortable. Roman shook his head.

"No, I think you're  _ thinking _ ," Roman said. "I want to be with you for awhile too… I wanna get a better job and make more money and start a family with you guys." 

It sounded like a test, as Roman studied his face, looking for something that Seth hoped was correct. At the moment, with his brain in shambles and his blood pressure at an all time high, the thought didn't excite or horrify him. It was good to know that Roman wanted these things, especially since Seth was building to tell them he had the inheritance to build a household, but he just blinked, nodding stupidly. 

"I wanna get better," Seth said, putting a hand to Roman's side and looking at him earnestly. "I want you to feel like you made a good choice… with being with us."

"I already think that," Roman said, kissing his forehead. "You're my lil' Uce."

They piled into bed and Seth felt a little better when he was tucked against Roman's side, spooning into him and feeling the press of his body heat. Finger's tousled his hair and he tried to be a little more present as they took turns kissing each other slowly, letting their eyes go lazy and shut in the half light of the lamp. Their phones were plugged in, alarms set, and the fresh scent of the clean sheets paired nicely with Roman's tan thighs and Dean's thick arms, rolling in the duvet to get the best grip on whoever was next in line. Seth kissed Dean first, feeling the kind undulating wave of relaxation wash over him when his boyfriend began stroking behind his ear.

There wasn't much dirty talk that night, just quiet passion as Seth turned to let Dean and Roman embrace, feeling the emotion radiate off of Roman like live music. Any other day, Seth would have been pounding his dick to the sight of them, kissing and touching and fondling each other in preparation for something tantric and surreal. Dean would be grabby and wet and impatient, and Roman would be a little clumsy, but heady and growling. Tonight was different, and despite Dean's cool attitude toward his disclosure, it seemed like his six year crush was finally getting to him. The two were practically inseparable and wholly focused with their mouths. Seth watched as Dean seemed to empty, pouring into Roman with both hands loosely grasping a pillow.

"Fuck," Roman panted, finally breaking off to breathe and wiping his eyes a little. Dean just exhaled hard, sitting up and looking at his boyfriend with a very complicated expression. It wasn't easy to make out in the dim light, but Dean's little facial ticks were difficult even in the light of day. His mouth hung slightly open, eyes intensely focused, brow furrowed. 

"I want you both," Roman said, making sure not to leave Seth out as he gestured with a little flick of his finger. Seth came in, slightly transfixed, feeling more low than jealous. Roman's beard ground against his chin and Dean's hand began massaging between Roman's legs making his groan into Seth's mouth. 

The easiest thing to do was close his eyes and just move on instinct, lips threading back and forth, surely not as electric as whatever Dean had just done, but meaningful nonetheless. Against his boyfriend's lips, Seth hesitated to mouth "I'm sorry," and "I love you," in equal measure, feeling simultaneously warm and cold. As he could feel Dean's hand beating Roman off, he became very aware of the fact that he was almost entirely unaroused, too caught up in the situation that had unfolded that evening. Their makeup sex was always amazing, usually the perfect mix of pleasure and punishment. But now, Seth was caught in remembering how he'd leapt to fuck Dean the other night behind Roman's back. 

Perhaps their sex was just another form of apology he kept tacking on. Some band-aid that couldn't stick properly. 

"It's fine," Seth mumbled as Dean thought to grope for him. Roman mumbled and and Seth shrank back, ashamed of his small, unenthusiastic dick. "Don't worry about it," 

"Mm?" Roman blinked hard, coming out of his reverie and looking to Seth carefully. "You good?"

"It's fine," Seth lied, licking his lips quickly and forcing a smile. "Just a little tired."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seth might dig his grave a little deeper, but next chapter will be a little happier, don't worry. It was fun writing this chapter after the Dean Ambrose Chronicle that just got released. I thought it was a fairly tasteful mix of kayfabe and 'reality', especially for someone that writes plot points around wrestling storylines, but looks to the 'real' versions of the three men for inspiration. 
> 
> Survivor series was great. I'd love to put Ronda somewhere that makes sense. 
> 
> Thanks to everyone for reviewing the last chapter! I thought you'd like Cesaro's assessment of the situation. Next week might be a little late with the holidays (I'm actually doing something for once?) but you've always been patient and I appreciate it :)
> 
> Happy Thanksgiving to my American readers! 
> 
> <3 Strykelass


	39. Save the Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seth gets serious with himself. Sort of. Fitness, Physical therapy and... something last minute?

Physical therapy in the middle of the week was the best hope for Seth to keep himself distracted.

The next morning, Roman placed his roses in a vase on the kitchen island. Dean was a little grumpy as they moved around during breakfast, but it was only because he had to work the park that evening and didn't want to be awake early. They didn't talk much as they each ate their first meals of the day and Seth just felt lost in the middle of it all. Just as Roman had pointed out, Seth didn't want say something phony in an effort to summarize their feelings and sweep them under the rug. Without his usual coping mechanism, he just felt stupid, orbiting around them on auto pilot.

The inheritance was one thing, but Dean's revelation regarding his long standing affection for Roman seemed to tilt their relationship five degrees. Truthfully, Seth was just glad the attention seemed to be off of him, hoping some kind of normality might unfold.

 **Im sorry if our conversation ended strangely last night** Cesaro texted him before noon, stopping Seth short in his tracks on the way to the adaptive pool to empty out the dirty towel bins. **I hope you are all doing okay and Sara is interested in going bowling if there is an open invite...**

 **Ill check but I think its okay** Seth replied, biting his lip. Saying he was fine wasn't entirely honest, but he wasn't about to have some tennis match of a text conversation regarding his feelings. Not in the middle of his work shift at least. **Things are hard like I said, but i dont think anything u said was out of line. Thanks for being there.**

 **No problem :)** Cesaro messaged back. Seth sighed, stowing his phone in his pocket and pulling heaps of damp towels out of the dirty canvas bags in the corner of the pool. The water looked serene and untouched as the pool had yet to be open for the day and AJ was in Roman's former office, talking with Miz about something.

Seth blinked, staring at his own reflection for a moment, smoothing back his hair. Cesaro's input had been uncomfortable, but largely necessary. He wasn't doing himself any favors with hiding information. The phone-thing had been obvious, but Seth couldn't help thinking about how his friend's mouth had twitched when he'd admitted to keeping his grandfather's estate a steadfast secret. There was never going to be a perfect time to talk about such serious stuff, but Seth was starting to realize that waiting until everything was signed off on _probably_ wasn't the best idea.

He wheeled his dirty bin down to the service elevator, rolling his shoulders a little funny from the damp sweat stains under his arms as he walked. In his head, Seth played over what he could agree to say, trying to think if he'd ever decided to fess up when the inheritance had reached a certain legal status. Realistically, it could be months, even years before the money and property and all the fine print was managed. Even still, there was a lot of lingering paranoia, wondering if all the money would _actually_ show up. In the back of his mind, Seth still wondered If the whole thing wasn't some hilarious mistake.

 _I do trust Roman and Dean_ he thought, pushing away any thoughts that his boyfriend's might try to take advantage of his sudden shift in income. Roman came from _some_ money, but his privilege hadn't prevented him from dating two people with little to no disposable income. Dean was deprived a lot of his life, but he never wanted for anything except a sandwich and a can of soda for most meals. Seth swallowed hard, realizing his fears were holding him back.

When he was on the lobby level, he stopped by the break room to quickly check if there were any more towels resting on the backs of chairs. Usually swim instructors would leave them lying around between teaching classes and so Kevin told him to check on occasion. There weren't any, but Seth paused before turning on his heel, staring at the large tear-away calendar for the month of April, marked with a dozen or so notices for staff.

That Saturday was April 9th, which still felt a little too early to sit down and explain everything that was going on with the estate. If Seth was going to go out with Sasha and his friends, he didn't want to be bogged down by the prospect of telling his boyfriend's something really important. Weekdays just weren't great in general, as they usually all had work at some point during the day. Roman still occasionally worked on a Saturday morning, but Seth didn't like the idea of dumping information on them when they all needed to get a good night's rest.

 _Dean's got his knitting thing at the farmer's market too…_ Seth reminded himself as he traced a finger down the calendar, trying to remember if his boyfriend would be working all weekend or not. Roman would be in school at some point, which made Seth wonder if it made more sense to tell him before he started, or after. Either choice had the potential to skew his boyfriend's studies, but Seth bit the inside of his cheek, trying to think clearly.

Tracing a month out from the current date, he flipped the calendar over, eyes darting across the significantly lighter month. A few notices were marked, in what looked like Hunter's handwriting, regarding school visits and cancellations for swim lessons. Mother's day weekend was approximately a month away and Seth shook his head, unsure about what, if anything, they were obligated to do. The week after that, there was an inservice. If Seth was correct, the 25th was Roman's birthday…

Seth had to do something, he knew it. No more bullshitting and no more lying. Touching his hand to the calendar, he outlined the square that read MAY 21st with his finger. He'd keep that weekend clear and come clean, admitting everything about what was going on and what he hoped for their shared future. His heart rate began to ramp up as he stared at the calendar, but he felt strangely better about finally agreeing to something. A month was plenty of time to get serious and consider everything he was thinking about and find some way to be a good salesman about the estate. Maybe nothing else would be legally resolved, but Seth would at least know what his boyfriend's wanted in all of this. It would at least feel a lot less like he was being deceptive, knowing that there was a date in mind.

"Lookin' at something?"

Seth blinked, letting the calendar page fall. Dean was standing in the entryway of the breakroom door, having just arrived for his mid-afternoon guard shift. Seth had carpooled with Roman that morning and he forced a smile, smoothing the calendar flat.

"Just lookin' at next month," he said, inventing something confidently. "Thinking about… me and Uce's birthdays."

"Mm," Dean said, believing him wholesale as he trotted to the fridge and put away a plastic bag, presumably with some kind of sandwich in it. "Was thinkin' about that earlier… what do you think Uce wants?"

"Ppft… uh…" Seth sighed, unable to think. Dean's head bobbed on the inside of the fridge door, rearranging items. Roman was notoriously difficult to shop for. "Fuck if I know… maybe you could make him something?"

"Gettin' too hot to wear knitted stuff," Dean said, shrugging. "Whatever, I'll figure it out."

"Don't worry about buying me anything," Seth said, shoving aside the thought of the inheritance as Dean checked his phone. Things were still a little weird since the night before and Seth's voice wavered with some anxious tension. "Twenty-seven isn't that big a deal…"

Dean just grunted, making his way to the door and winking underneath his messy bangs. Even though his boyfriend wasn't the romantic mastermind of the group, Seth was still certain that something fun would be done. Assuming the wake of the news of the inheritance didn't shake up the relationship too much…

About forty-five minutes later, Roman swung by to pick up Seth, allowing Dean to keep the Cadillac in order to drive home that evening once the park had closed. Though cordial, Seth still felt a little quiet, using his shirt to fan his chest as he piled into the Jeep, headed home. They'd obviously said a lot the previous night, and Roman seemed a lot more lighthearted after getting a few things off his chest. But Seth knew he was still a little distant and touchy, watching the road carefully behind his wrap around sunglasses.

"How's work?" he asked, peering at Seth as they stopped at the intersection. Seth shrugged. "You talk to Hunter at all yet?"

"About what?" Seth asked. Roman's lip twitched. "For my knee? I'm just going to wait and see what Sara says tonight. I think they wanted paperwork or somethin'."

Roman just nodded and Seth drank from his water bottle, wishing there was something obvious to talk about. Before he left White Water, Seth had actually made a note in his phone for the 21st of May. It was pretty far out to ask if Roman had something going on that weekend, but Seth couldn't imagine anything coming up.

"How was your day?" He asked, trying to be communicative and return a question. Roman hummed, turning the steering wheel to take a right turn.

"Okay, did a little gardening before it got hot," he said, merging into the correct lane. "Chickens are getting big now. They'll probably start laying in a couple months."

"That'll bring our egg expenses down." Seth chuckled, smiling. Roman pointed his index finger and opened his mouth, apparently remembering something.

"Did you leave a book on the counter? By the door into the house?" he asked, giving Seth a questioning glance. "Some textbook? It had Cesaro's name in it."

"Oh, Yeah," he nodded, forgetting his ponderous career path into fitness. With everything else that was happening, it had hardly seemed important. "Cesaro's letting me borrow that. I was sort of wondering if I might look into getting a certificate or some higher education for personal training."

"You wanna work in a gym?" Roman asked curiously. "I could see that."

"I still dunno yet, I want to look closer into it, but I talked to Dean about it a little bit," Seth said, shrugging. "There isn't a whole lot I want to go to college for, but I like fitness and CrossFit and stuff like that. I dunno if it's feasible with my knee… but Cesaro seems like a good resource."

"You'd be good at it," Roman smiled, looking a little excited by association. "I always thought you could'a done a WSI cert and taught Water X. It's so simple."

"Maybe, I dunno if I'm a group fitness guy," Seth said, wrinkling his nose at the thought. They pulled up onto Grant St. and Seth undid his seatbelt as they got closer to the driveway. "Not really… _peppy_ …"

"You're peppy about what you like," Roman said, opening the driver's side door and letting out the small bubble of air conditioning. They hurried into the house where it was cool.

Kevin barked and Seth set down his keys, looking down at where he'd left the trainer's manual. There were still a few hours before his appointment and with little chores to do, he decided he might dig into the book a little and start investigating the material.

"This came for you too," Roman said, handing Seth a thin white envelope. Seth's stomach turned ice cold at the sight of the address, from the Iowa courthouse. "What do you think that's about?"

"Oh-uh," Seth said nervously, licking his lips. His boyfriend was already making his way to the fridge, unbothered. He could open the envelope now, but then there was the possibility Roman might see. Instead, Seth stuffed the mail into the nearby PT textbook, trying to think of a distraction. "I've… gotten those before. It's nothing."

"They still trying to get you to vote in local elections?" Roman snorted, pulling a La Croix out of the fridge and waving it as an offering. Seth nodded and held out his hands to catch the can.

"Something like that," he mumbled, opening the can without any thought and swearing as it began to bubble and fizz. Kevin barked and ran to lick up the stray bits of foam that leaked onto the floor as Roman laughed, tossing him a towel for assistance.

Seth didn't dare open the envelope until he was safely out of Roman's reach and on the couch with a plate of warm, leftover sausage. Dinner that night was going to be late, in consideration of both Dean's and Seth's schedules, but Roman was making use of his time off of classes to try out a few recipes he apparently planned to make in bulk. From the kitchen, Seth could hear his boyfriend shuffling around and pulling ingredients out of some plastic bags that had been sitting on the counter. Finger's trembling, Seth opened the envelope and scanned down the paper quickly, eyes darting.

It was just a single sheet, apparently notifying him that the estate notices had been received. It was so simple, Seth scanned the back and front multiple times, wondering if there was supposed to be some correspondence, but there didn't appear to be any follow up.

"Look at this sucker," Roman chuckled, coming around the corner and making Seth actually jump. He was holding up a huge leaf. "I'll probably modify this recipe like my mom did, but I figured I'd actually try doing some in the leaf."

"What?" Seth asked anxiously, shuffling to the first page of the book and slamming the envelope and letter shut in the back pages. Roman simply handed Seth the leaf, letting him examine it.

"It's a banana leaf," Roman chuckled at Seth's bewildered face. "I'm going to wrap a bunch of chicken in it and see about cooking it in the oven. I'm used to the grill, but I feel like if I can make a bunch at once and put some good rice in with it, it'll make good takeaway lunches."

"That sounds amazing," Seth remarked, holding the leaf up to his face for comparison, it was a huge, flat leaf. "Got a bunch of island recipes from home?"

"Sorta, not really," Roman said, taking the leaf back, "I'll ask my mom if I want something in particular, but a lot of them are just modified for time." He walked back into the kitchen, voice trailing louder as he did so. "My dad'n uncles will do a real-deal luau fiafia thing sometimes, but we haven't done one in a few years. Nobody wants to cook a whole pig."

Seth didn't have much else to say, but simply let Roman continue about his business in the kitchen, enjoying the smells from the oven that began to build over the course of the next hour. With Kevin begging for attention and the warm beam of sunlight washing over him from the window, it was difficult to really read what was on the page of the textbook, but Seth tried his best. Starting from the introduction was a little boring, and he flipped around the chapters, free-reading whatever caught his interest. The thought of the letter faded in his mind as he read on, petting Kevin's fur. It hadn't really been anything to freak out about, but Seth obviously didn't want Roman looking in and asking questions.

 **Got a notice in the mail about the filing thing** Seth texted his mom, just to make sure. If he was going to receive anymore mail, he sort of wanted to know, just in case he had to keep things to himself. The first chapter of the personal training book was mostly about the reasons clients sought out personal training and Seth's anxiety waned as he looked through the writing and Cesaro's old handwritten notes in the margins.

_An estimated 80,000 to 100,000 anterior cruciate ligament (ACL) injuries occur annually in the general US population. Approximately 70% of these are non-contact injuries. In addition, ACL injuries have a strong correlation to acquiring arthritis in the affected knee. Most ACL injuries occur between 15-25 years of age… Fortunately, research suggests that enhancing neuromuscular stabilization (or body control) may alleviate the high incidence of non-contact injuries…_

Seth sniffed, flipping to the next page to read about low back pain instead.

* * *

Physical therapy might have been a better distraction if he wasn't working with someone as informed in his personal life as Sara. Shuttling himself to the clinic in Roman's Jeep and walking through the doors of the sports medicine clinic, Seth realized it had probably been over a month since his last session. Currently, the parking lot was being repaved and the lobby area had been redecorated with a few new low maintenance plants. When his physical therapist came through to greet him, Seth thought Sara was a little more relaxed as they made their way to the clinic floor.

"How's it going?" she asked with a smile. "Ready to bowl this weekend?"

"Good… Oh, yeah," Seth said, nearly forgetting he'd invited her and Cesaro. It was weird, thinking about how his friend probably talked about himself to her. "Yeah, let's make sure I'm 100% for that."

"I was thinking we'd schedule an MRI for the end of next month also," she said, poking at Seth's clipboard. "You've got about five more visits covered and you've kept on track, but that last appointment will just clarify any additional information for independent activity."

"How have… things been around here?" Seth asked as they came to the open exam table to begin their sessions. He laid back and Sara stood over him, straightening out his right leg to carefully feel around his joint with her small hands. She had a blue manicure polish on her fingernails.

"Oh, alright," she said cheerfully. "We just got done… doing a sort of seminar for how hormones affect recovery. Had a few instructors coming from Georgia. It was busy around here because we had volunteered the space, but it's more or less back to normal."

"Mm," Seth grunted, wincing a little as Sara pinched, kneading either side of his patella. "Do they… do that stuff a lot?"

"For this time of year, yeah," She nodded, holding onto his shoe to push back and flex his knee. Seth blinked, feeling the joint nag him from being slightly stiff. He'd been doing his physical therapy mostly as a sort of meditative way to pass the time, but bending his leg to almost touch his chest was difficult. "How does that feel?"

"Fine," Seth mumbled. Unapologetically thinking of sex in his head. He remembered the previous night's embarrassment of being largely unable to get himself up and blushed a little. There were plenty of times when he'd been too anxious or tired to remain consistently erect, but usually he could bully his dick into doing what he wanted if the situation presented itself.

"Some swelling, but not bad," Sara said, holding out her hand to help him up to sitting. "I'm going to push you a little today. We're going to squat."

"Ooh, okay," Seth said, actually brightening up as Sarah led him over to the rack with a row of stability balls, grabbing one of the medium sized ones. They'd done wall sits and CPM and all sorts of knee-bending exercises, but Seth had yet to work through anything that resembled a weighted squat he might do at a gym.

Sure enough, any excitement he might have felt was replaced with the realization that his thighs hadn't had to do much more beyond walking for several months and were fairly weak for the sort of high repetition movements Sara was going to put him through. They worked through some ball-squats off the wall at a variety of different stances, but by the time Seth went to working on a single leg, his legs were actually shaking.

"We can do some balance work if we need to," Sara said, watching him tremble slightly, pulling a face as he stood upright, leaning on the ball. Seth just shook his head, annoyed.

"Showing me how weak I am," he grumbled, unable to stop himself as he lowered into a single leg squat, breathing hard to get back up again. Sara just smiled, writing something down on his sheet.

"Remember when you were on crutches though? Your knee is actually tracking really well here-" she pointed as Seth grunted through another rep, screwing up his face. "Your hips are still pretty strong, and it looks stable. You'll be able to start doing these on your own with some weight if you want."

"Oh… goody…" he whined, panting hard. The ball dropped behind his back and Sara pulled out a mat to work on the floor with. It wasn't as though the workout was mentally difficult, just physically taxing, almost boring. The pleasurable burn of his muscles was so focused on his quads that he could hardly call it a thorough workout. Even for someone like himself who usually enjoyed moving around, it was hardly fun.

"You've come a long way though," Sara encouraged, coming to the ground so they could do some hip extensions. "With everything else going on, you can at least be happy about that. Cesaro said you were going through a lot right now."

"Yeah?" Seth said, blinking. He knew his friend couldn't have really told his girlfriend anything too personal. Sara just shrugged, putting the ball under his feet as he laid on his back.

"Just about your grandfather and how you found out about it," she admitted, fixing the ball in place. "Hip extensions here, and then we'll go to one leg…"

"Things… could be better…" Seth breathed as he raised his hips toward the ceiling on the ball, then slowly lowered them back to the ground. Sara listened attentively and Seth grinned, sure that she was Cesaro's girlfriend. "That's life though… I shouldn't complain about it. I just get really caught up sometimes."

"Do you feel supported at least?" Sara asked, lowering her hand slowly to the ground to perfect his tempo. Seth breathed hard, he really was exhausted.

"Y-yeah," he said, switching feet. "There's some things though… I dunno." He paused short of launching into an explanation of the inheritance. Hopefully Cesaro hadn't disclosed anything about it. "It's just tough because… I was close with my grandpa growing up and he was sort of like my dad. Ties things up… a bit."

"I'll bet," Sara said, nodding. "Rest a bit here. When I was a teenager, my step-dad passed away and he was a lot closer to me than my biological dad. It was really hard for awhile in there. Not a lot of people understand that your chosen family can mean just as much."

"Yeah… it is hard." Seth shrugged, staring at the ceiling. "But… my boyfriend's are there for me and all. It's fine."

"What's it like having two?" Sara asked excitedly, as though she was waiting for Seth to let it slip. Seth blushed, but laughed. He'd been working with her through January now, it wasn't terribly awkward to consider.

"Uh," he chuckled, fidgeting with the stability ball. "Well, it's twice the mess and the bed's a lot smaller."

Sara laughed and Seth smiled, feeling sure of himself. Maybe even just a few years ago, his relationship would have been a lot more awkward to discuss, but he was glad that society seemed to think he was a cool novelty instead of something to shun. Obviously, there were still bigots in the world, but it was refreshing to not have any organized hate directed at his relationship _structure_. For the remainder of the session, Seth talked openly with Sara about the little differences between Dean and Roman, delighting as she compared their tendencies with Cesaro's mannerisms.

"Are you laughing about me?" Cesaro's voice trailed over just as Sara was attaching some muscle STIM nodes to Seth's knee. Seth looked over, craning his neck behind him as Cesaro came over, holding bottles of kombucha.

"I was going to say-" Sara sighed happily, accepting a drink. "If you were going to bring me coffee, I might have actually refused."

"There was a sale on these and I saw you coming in," Cesaro said, offering Seth a drink. "She work you very much?"

"God yes," Seth said, taking the drink. "You doing stuff too? Or…"

"I got done with Adam a few minutes ago." Cesaro confirmed, rotating his affected arm slowly with a little wince. "Still tricky, I think the range of motion may improve by the end of next week."

"I'm trying to get him to do more acupuncture," Sara chuckled, turning on the machine.

"Do they do that here?" Seth asked, looking between the two from where he was laying, then raising his head a little to sip on the drink.

"No, but I know some people," Sara said. Cesaro sighed, rubbing his shoulder.

"Maybe after next week," he said, "If I cannot bowl 300."

"I might not be able to do lunch on Monday, I just found out." Sara said, pointing her finger to her boyfriend after checking to make sure Seth was accounted for. "That new L5 discectomy patient I was talking about- she can't come in in the morning…"

Feeling his quad jittering from the affect of the STIM, Seth lay back and listened to his friends talk with the sort of cool dissociative fatigue of being bodily exhausted. His mind wandered, past his grandfather's estate and bowling, to dinner and how he probably needed a haircut. Kevin's fur was getting kind of mangy too, and his car was getting close to needing an oil change. Roman had a bunch of coupons hanging from the fridge that they got in the mail. There was probably one in the clip that could get him a discount…

"Did you look at that book yet Seth?" Cesaro asked, looking down at him as he zoned out. Seth blinked and nodded, thinking to what he'd just been reading.

"Mm, yeah, it was pretty interesting," he said, wetting his lips. "I was just peeking at it and it'll be a lot of self study… but… I dunno. I'll have to see when Roman goes back to class. But I'll probably look at the prices and do it."

"That is awesome," Cesaro said, beaming. "Keep the book as long as you would like. I can suggest other things, but honestly, you will just want to study for the test first before you worry about anything else."

"For sure," Seth said, "I'll definitely pick your brain."

Cesaro left after a few last words with Sara and Seth sat up after the STIM was finished, feeling rejuvenated. It was nice to be back and know that he just had a few more sessions to complete. Despite how tedious it had all been, Seth had to be thankful that he was nearing normality with his joint again after months of pain and discomfort. His life actually _hadn't_ ended when he'd torn all of his ligaments, and his body was acclimating to being back in the gym and doing regular sets.

"Next Wednesday then?" Sara asked, looking at her tablet to schedule him in. Seth picked up his phone, keys and water bottle, thinking quickly.

"That should work," he said, sipping from his kombucha and then his water. "Oh, and I needed to get a form from you, or a release or something. I'm thinking… I mean…" Seth swallowed, hoping he wasn't about to be shot down. "I feel like I could probably lifeguard again, I've been doing all sorts of other things that have me bending down plenty… Do you think… it's a good idea?"

"Oh, yeah, I think so long as you're being attentive," Sara said, nodding quickly. "You just want to watch how you're tracking the joint and avoid a lot of rotating, you know. Does your work have a form? Or do you just want me to write you a general clearance?"

"That'll probably work," Seth said heart leaping. He was _finally_ going to be back on the guard stand.

"Sounds like a plan, I'll send it to you tonight when I get done." Sara nodded, waving as he began to make his exit. "Great job today! You really killed it."

"Thanks a bunch! For everything." Seth smiled, hardly able to stop himself. It was the best news he'd had in weeks and he was sure he'd feel better about his job when he got back to doing what he was originally hired for. Looking down at his phone. He had a text from Roman in their group chat, apparently sent about twenty minutes ago.

**Hey so short notice. Weekend after next is my sister-in-law's baby shower. U guys think we could make an appearance?**

**Im going to go regardless.**

Seth bit his lip, making his way through the automatic door and feeling the unforgiving blast of humid, sticky heat on his bare arms. Driving to Pensacola... for the weekend… for Roman's sister's baby shower. As he recalled, Seth remembered there was some sort of drama around this event. He couldn't be sure from memory, and was embarrassed to think about how he wasn't sure if he thought such a thing because he read Roman's text conversations. All Seth could say for sure was that he was wary… perhaps with good reason.

Knowing that he would be home within fifteen minutes, Seth just sat his phone in the center console, thinking hard. The text hadn't really dampened his spirits so much as it had just given him pause. Honestly, Seth really _didn't_ want to go.

Could he just tell his boyfriend no?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some good news and weird news. Hope all of you fellow Americans enjoyed thanksgiving. I had a really good time and I'm feeling like I'm in a cozy winter's writing mood for fic. Someone sent me an ask on my tumblr about making fanart and I absolutely 100% am totally cool with fan art or fan derivatives of this work. It's very sweet.
> 
> Couple more chapters and this fic will probably be at the 75% completion mark, which is bananas. I'll probably do a couple extended universe chapters just for my own enjoyment, but I obviously don't need to bloat this thing any bigger. Just trying to make sure I tie up all the loose ends that I've already created, as neatly as I can.
> 
> So, Seth sets his date. Will he go through with it? Or will it come out sooner than later? Do you guys think Seth should go to Pensacola? Or tell Roman no? Give me a kudos if you haven't yet. Make sure you brush your teeth. Be kind to your fellow man. 
> 
> <3 Strykelass


	40. Going Soft

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who's going to Pensacola? Seth's body betrays him.

"I think I need to stick around," Dean said, looking to Roman as the three sat at the dining room table. Seth glanced up from the baked chicken Roman had put together for dinner, watching his boyfriend's reaction. "With the farmer's market deal and all. Otherwise I'd go see the fam."

Roman looked down at his plate, considering. He was never really great about hiding his emotions and it was fairly clear to Seth that his boyfriend didn't want to go to Pensacola alone if he didn't have to. The three were still a little awkward since they'd had their deep discussion the night before, with Roman and Dean acting especially careful around each other. If Dean wouldn't go, Seth  _ really _ didn't want to go, but guilt weighed heavy on his heart. _ What could he say that wouldn't further alienate his boyfriend? _   


"When… do you think you'll go?" Seth asked, taking a bite of chicken and chewing as Roman shrugged, brushing his hand through his hair. "In the morning that day?"

"Probably Friday after I get off," he explained quietly. "If… if we both went, I'd just jet us up there and then we could spend two nights. Leave on Sunday morning…"

"And… you think you'd stay with your cousins again?" Seth asked, just feeling out what his boyfriend was thinking. Dean stared at Kevin, beckoning the little dog over to distract himself. 

"I gotta figure it out, maybe," Roman sighed, watching Seth with his sweet, dark eyes. He wasn't pleading or begging, but the honest command of attention still felt a little uncomfortable to Seth, who didn't know what to say. For some reason, he thought of Cesaro, wondering what his friend might advise him to do. It was a sort of stupid thought, but Seth ran a finger around the outside of his lip, weighing his options. 

"It  _ is  _ sort of last minute, which is why I'm hesitant," he began, going for the truth. "But... I do feel kinda bad I missed Easter, but I just… I dunno. How many people are coming? I get overwhelmed when there's a lot going on."

"This one's going to be smaller actually," Roman explained quickly, trying to sell his case. "So… my mom got all pissed off about this baby shower because Rosey and Mandy were going to do one when they were on vacation, so this is the 'just family' one that they wanted to do before they left." Roman said gesturing with his fork-hand and swallowing. "So, she's only like 7 months pregnant now, but they just picked this weekend out because it's the most convenient for everyone's schedules and they've been going back and forth about doing it for weeks. Like, we  _ were _ just there-" Roman nodded, gesturing to Dean. "But, if it's not obvious… I can't really miss this and even if you can't go," Roman looked to Seth again. "Well, I need to go get them a gift from the three of us this weekend and my sister Summer's husband, Trevor, he's coming down to Orlando  _ this _ Saturday and we were talking about getting together so we could figure out a joint gift or something. He's here for work and he wanted to take us golfing at this resort down by the theme parks."

"Really?" Seth asked, surprised by the new information he was receiving. He thought he'd remembered who Roman was talking about, meeting so many new faces at Christmas, the bulk of Roman's family was sort of a blur. But in a moment, Seth suddenly remembered his promise to go bowling with his friends.   
  
"I fucking... forgot to tell you," he said stupidly, putting a finger to his forehead. Dean looked up, curious. With an apologetic lilt to his voice, Seth explained his obligation to his friends and how he'd overlooked it with everything else going on. Roman sat back in his seat, sighing and staring up at the ceiling.

"I'll go to Pensacola," Seth agreed quickly, already regretting the statement as the words passed his lips. "I'll do that, but… I kind of told Sasha and Bayley and everyone that we'd all go with them…"

"I have time during the week to shop, but I do kinda want to get it figured out sooner than later," Roman said, coming back to life a little as Seth agreed to see his family. "Trevor probably wouldn't care, except I think he sort of told my sis that we'd figure it out…"

"I'll go with you to your thing-" Dean said, pointing to Seth before pointing to Roman. "And you go with him next weekend then..."

"Does that work?" Seth blinked, looking between the two. 

"Gunna survive alone for one weekend?" Roman chuckled, looking to Dean. Seth watched his boyfriend snort, spooning rice up into his mouth. "I don't wanna come home and find crumbs in the bed."

"Tall order," Dean grunted, picking up his plate and making his way to the sink. Seth just watched Roman picking at the remainder of food on his plate, smiling a little. 

"Sorry I didn't tell you guys earlier," Seth said, glad that nobody seemed upset. "I didn't think anything was going to come up."

"It's fine," Roman said, shaking his head. "Sorry it's all of a sudden anyway, I do really appreciate it though," he mumbled, looking to Seth was sincerity. "You goin'. My family does really like you and they were bummed that they couldn't see you for Easter. It'll be fun." 

Dean pulled an ice cream sandwich out of the freezer and dangled it aloft as an offering. Seth grunted, still inclined to eat the last third of his dinner, but he held out his hand anyway to grab the dessert his boyfriend lobbed in his general direction. Seth caught it and Roman held out his own hand, grinning broadly.

"How was therapy?" he asked, opening the plastic wrapper of the snack and setting the garbage on his plate. Seth swallowed, nodding.

"Real good actually," Seth said, looking to both of his boyfriends with a foxy smile. "I'm cleared to uh, to guard again. Sara basically said I'm good."

"Oh yeah, forreal?" Dean's eyes widened and Seth nodded happily again.

"Yeah, finally," Seth said, patting at his knee, which was a little tender, but mostly alright after all the squatting and flexing it had done that day. "Feels like ages, but I guess I'm on schedule with healing and all that. Still doesn't feel exactly perfect, but I'm still less than six months out."

"My MCL felt weird for a while after I tore it," Roman mumbled, licking his lips for crumbs. "That's awesome though babe, you've only been workin' real hard to get it back in shape."

"I wanna workout for my birthday," Seth said, looking between the two, as though he was giving them a hot tip. "Maybe not as intense as CrossFit… maybe like, a high intensity workout that's more focused on upper body with some lighter stuff. I dunno. Just something," he shoveled the rest of his dinner down, eager to have an ice cream sandwich. "That was like, a goal I thought of, back when I just got out of surgery and stuff..."

"Well maybe you can write your own workout now that you're tryin' to be a trainer," Roman proposed. Dean blinked and looked confused. "He tell you?"

"Kinda, sorta, not really," Seth said, putting a hand to his mouth as he talked around his food. "Cesaro leant me a personal training manual…"

They sat at the table and talked long after their ice cream sandwiches had been demolished. Dean toyed with the plastic wrapping as they listened and talked about fitness and the possible pros and cons of working as a trainer. It hardly felt late in the day with the sunlight lingering outside for longer and longer each evening, and Seth sat back in his chair. It took him a moment, but the sense of leisurely contentment set in and he realized how much he'd been missing this kind of company. As Roman went on to express his concerns about his poor golfing skills, Seth sighed, enormously grateful that they were all happy and well fed and on good terms. It had been ages since they'd been able to grill outside, now that the days were so torturously humid and hot, and some time since they'd lounged around after dinner, just to enjoy good conversation. Seth missed their roundabout chats that seemed to go nowhere, but were so engaging that neither of the three were leaping up to leave the table and do anything else. Though he was still a little sheepish about the Pensacola trip that had come up, he put it out of his mind for the moment, scratching his beard.

Dean actually brought his knitting over and kicked his feet up diagonally to rest in Roman's lap, while Roman laid a hand on Dean's ankle, drinking a glass of sweet tea. Seth just sat with his legs spread wide, stretching out his hip while his left knee fidgeted back and forth, restless. It felt good just to  _ feel good _ , without worrying about any relationship drama or money or concentrating too intently on Roman's family dynamics.

"You any good at bowling?" Dean asked, swapping his knitting over to start a new row. Seth narrowed his eyebrows, grimacing.

"Uh, I can maybe get a strike or two," he said, scratching at his beard. "It's been ages."

"How many people are going?" Roman asked, smoothing the side of Dean's foot in a way that made him jerk, ticklish.

"I think just Bayley and Sasha and then Cesaro and his girlfriend," Seth said, squinting. "Maybe more people from work, I dunno. Would be kinda cool to get a big group together."

They only broke away from the table when Kevin began whining and scratching at the back door, letting them know he needed a bathroom break. Seth grunted and stood up, stretching wide before sliding the glass door sideways and feeling the sting of the thick hot air. The chickens were all huddled around the fence, pecking at the dirt and adjusting their feathers. 

"Was thinkin' of bringing out the little kiddie pool thing for them to bathe in." Roman said, coming up from behind Seth to lay a hand on his back as they watched the birds. "Not quite miserable weather yet, but it's gettin' there."

"Does it get hotter and stickier? Or just hotter?" Seth asked, off put. Roman and Dean both laughed.

"Both of both," Dean muttered, tossing their garbage in the trash and running some water in the sink to soak a pan. "You kinda caught it in August and all. It's like that, but everyday."

"Lovely," Seth sighed, remembering, with embarrassment, the time he'd succumbed to dehydration in the water park on his first outdoor shift. Kevin quickly peed and ran back toward the door, hastening to re-enter the air conditioning. Seth leaned into Roman's touch, tilting his head to the side as his boyfriend breathed deeply. 

"Feeling good?" Roman asked, giving Seth a pecking kiss on his collarbone. Seth nodded, letting his eyes droop a little and raising his hands to bring his boyfriend's arms around him. They stood, swaying a little on the spot, watching the chickens as the sky began to darken. Dean came to join them as well, resting his chin on Roman's opposite shoulder.

"Y'all got an inservice Sunday, yeah?" Roman asked quietly. Dean and Seth made similar noises of resigned affirmation. "I'll make you guys some good food after if you want. Or we could maybe go to Joe's if you're good for it."

"Maybe," Seth sighed, feeling handsy, but also sleepy. Roman kissed his head and Dean's cheek before they pulled apart, the familiar, excited energy building between them. Quickly, Dean went to go put the chickens away and Seth made a point to make up a bag for work tomorrow that included his swimsuit and goggles.

"Gunna do some lap swimming and maybe just run through the practical test," he explained as Roman watched him zip up his bag before tossing it to the side of the bed. Roman nodded, pulling his shirt over his head. Seth sucked the inside of his cheek, watching his boyfriend's large frame come unpeeled, looking as ample and gorgeous as ever. Seth kicked out of his own day clothes and tossed them in the hamper just as Dean returned, bouncing out of his pants.

It was a strange feeling, unavoidable for the fact that Seth wasn't able to pinpoint it, but just as he had the night before, his body began to betray him, shirking away. Seth took turns, kissing Roman and letting Dean roughly outline his rump over his underwear, but Seth's erection was suddenly non-existent. With both of his boyfriend's touching him, in a similar fashion to what they always did, it was extremely confusing and distracting. Trying not to be too obvious, Seth snuck one of his own hands down to his underwear and desperately tugged, searching for sensation.

"I'm feelin' pretty good," Roman grunted, looking at both of his boyfriends with a lusty, quiet intensity that acted as an invitation. Dean growled, giving his leg a little slap before looking to Seth playfully. 

"You first? Then me?" Dean suggested, turning Roman over and encouraging him to stilt over his knees. "I got… the lube…"

"Uh, sure," Seth said, trying to pump faster, gaze wandering. For a few moments, he touched himself uselessly in his underwear before he remembered that his boyfriend was naked right in front of him, ready and willing. Seth grabbed at Roman's ass, feeling the surface and imagining the wonderful, warm sensation of having his cock swaddled inside. Any other time, Seth would be practically rutting against his boyfriend, trying to distract himself so he didn't come to early, but for whatever reason, he was faltering.

"You jerk-off earlier?" Dean chuckled, watching Seth crouching over, as though he was trying to hide his shame. Seth snapped, anxious and angry.

"No! I'm just…" he trailed off, Roman turned over, concerned. "I dunno, I obviously  _ want _ to…" 

Erectile dysfunction had hardly ever been a concern in his life, young as he was. Because he was usually in such good shape, Seth was positive that blood flow had never been an issue for him. Sensing his dismay, Roman pulled him down, holding out his hands so Seth would stop feverishly trying to beat his dick hard. With a little hesitation, Seth sank into him and they kissed, hair tangling together. Dean cooly masterbated beside them, staying occupied.

For a few minutes, they just made out, and Seth calmed down, actively trying to just breathe in between feeling his boyfriend's tongue in his mouth. It was incredibly frustrating because Seth  _ really  _ felt at though he  _ needed  _ to come and also feel like he was satisfying his boyfriends. Although he sometimes would beat off in the shower in between fucking them, Seth didn't watch a ton of porn anymore. Their sex drives were fairly similar, and the only other times they'd been unable to maintain a hard on had usually involved alcohol. 

Roman's leg threaded itself between his legs and Seth rubbed back and forth, trying to arouse some kind of stimulation from humping back and forth. If he'd had all the time in the world, Seth could probably come if he just jerked himself off for an hour, but he was long past asking for lengthy handjobs.

"Forget it," he eventually croaked, angrily pushing himself off of Roman and readjusting his flaccid dick in his underwear. "Sorry, I just…"

"Babe, it's fine," Roman said, though his face masked none of the concern he was feeling. "You're okay though, yeah? Is there anything you want?"

Dean just sat, laying a hand across his own vastly erect dick, shielding it like he didn't want Seth to be jealous. Seth just huffed, rolling his eyes.

"Uh, I wanna get _hard_? Uh…" Seth laughed nervously. "Didn't think I've have to worry about this yet."

He declined any lengthy troubleshooting discussions, insisting instead that his boyfriend's ought to just fuck each other to their heart's content. Rather aimlessly, Seth tried beating off to the scene in front of them, trying his best to appreciate Dean's vigorous strokes and Roman's breathy gasping noises. But even just masterbating seemed sort of pointless as Seth turned his limp dick over in his warm hands.

_ What the fuck was going on with him?  _ He hoped ED wasn't indicative of something much worse, like a blood clot or something. But for Seth, he couldn't imagine anything much more horrible than being unable to get himself off. It had actually been a few days now and he felt cagey, palming his balls.

Just as he was about to come, Roman glanced over to him and locked eye contact. For Seth, it was sort of appreciated, something more than a paltry gesture that showed Roman cared about him and was acknowledging he was still in the room. But more than anything, it just pointed out how Seth wasn't really  _ included _ . He left the room, intending to get his boyfriend's some water after they worked up a sweat. Seth felt especially useless, walking naked to their kitchen, lame dick rubbed a little red, but otherwise uninspired.

"You sure you're good?" Dean rasped, leaning on Roman's leg a little as he drank from a water glass. Seth just slumped into bed, letting Roman throw an arm around him as he sank into the mattress. "I bet if I chowed down on your nipples for a minute-"

"'M fine," Seth said. Roman stroked his hair a little. The debate was over. If the shoe had been on the other foot, if Dean or Roman had suddenly been incapable of maintaining an erection, Seth wouldn't really know what to do either. Obviously, he wouldn't want to embarrass his partner, but with how they usually functioned, it was pretty indicative of some kind of shift in health or wellness. But Seth wasn't obese or elderly, so he wasn't sure what could be the culprit.

"You're okay," Roman muttered into his ear. "I've had shy-dick before. It happens."

"When?" Seth sniffed, annoyed. Roman put his index finger behind Seth's ear and stroked back and forth, making him shiver.

"When I was younger mostly, but it happens every now and then," he yawned, pulling Seth closer and tucking a blanket over them. "Happens… to the best of us…"

* * *

The next day, Seth's five minutes of phone research on erectile dysfunction only unnerved him more, as if he didn't need anything else to be concerned about. WebMD broadened the scope of his knowledge beyond being overweight or old, but unless Seth had atherosclerosis, he was looking at the nebulous and annoying umbrella term that was 'Stress _ ' _ and 'Relationship Problems Due to Stress _ ' _ .

"Great," Seth muttered to himself in the bathroom, setting down his phone as he quickly ran Roman's beard trimmer across his face. So it was  _ his _ fault that his dick didn't work, that was at least if he was correct in assuming that this was all caused by his anxieties. Admitting everything about the inheritance wasn't any sort of guarantee that his dick would work again, but Seth hurriedly grabbed his phone, checking the date he'd agreed upon to disclose the estate business.

A month was a long time to go without meaningful sex, assuming his stress really  _ was _ connected. Seth bit his lip, staring at his reflection in the mirror. He needed to _ relax _ . Bowling would be fun and take his mind off of things, but Seth also took a few minutes to a call the Spa before he left for White Water that morning. After scheduling in a Sunday appointment for the deep tissue massage Roman had purchased, Seth felt a little more confident. But if the appointment wasn't enough relaxation to get his dick hard, it might be worth seeing a doctor in the interim. 

Just thinking about the inheritance made Seth's backside tighten up, and he sighed hard before grabbing his bag.

"Ready?" Roman asked, holding the door open for him. Seth grunted, pushing on his sunglasses. They'd carpool again, as Dean had to close the park later. Checking his email in the Jeep, Seth smiled, seeing the physician's clearance that would allow him to work. Because he'd been resigned to immobility for so long, the thought of guarding again hadn't been a proper motivator for him to get his knee in order. But now that he could be guarding as early as the next day, Seth felt like he was getting back an older confidence he hadn't in some time. His last limitations were coming off, bit by bit.

"How long did you want to swim for?" Roman asked, watching him toy with his old lifeguard whistle that had been at the bottom of his bag, wrapped around his water bottle. Seth pursed his lips, thinking.

"I think I want to try the guard test just to see," Seth shrugged, looking out the window. "I'll do it at the end of my shift. It'd be nice to do a half mile or something like that, but I'll bet my conditioning sucks right now."

"Well, don't beat yourself up too much," Roman suggested, giving him a knowing look. Seth frowned.

"I don't have that much time, I won't keep you," Seth muttered, his leg jiggling impatiently as they waited in morning traffic.

"I just mean, go easy on yourself if you're not in great shape is all," Roman explained, shooting him a sympathetic look. "Just remember how far you've come. You healed up really quick, so just don't be upset if you're not 100% again."

"I'll be fine," Seth sighed, looking out the window. He knew Roman had a point, but Seth wasn't going to be stopped. He'd do the brick test and a couple ring dives, plus some sort of warm up that might function as the in-service physical test for that weekend. Everyone at White Water knew about Seth's knee, but that didn't mean that Seth didn't want to look anything less than stellar in the pool. Aside from the physical demand, Seth knew he needed to brush up on his guarding skills as well. If he didn't lead a lifeguard class in the next few months, he'd lose his LGI certification.

Seth's work shift was about as plain and boring as usual, except for the fact that he had to turn in his physician's clearance to Hunter and Stephanie before the end of his shift. He hadn't talked much at all to his bosses since they'd decided against promoting him, and would have rather slipped the form on their desk without interacting with them at all. Swallowing his pride, Seth approached the office when the lights were on, looking through the window to see Stephanie on her headset. Hunter was sitting at his desk, scanning something as Seth cracked the door, just to be sure he wasn't interrupting a phone call from his senior boss.

"Oh- hey Seth," Hunter said softly, shifting in his chair as Seth handed him the paper he'd printed off. "Is this-?"

"Yeah," Seth mumbled, still too annoyed about the promotion to act particularly cordial. "I should be set, I'm going to go and try swimming for the first time and see how it goes." he shook his work bag, which carried his trunks and towel. Hunter just nodded, looking at the clock.

"Got everything wrapped up for the day then? After the in-service, I'll probably have a handful of  swim lessons I can put on your schedule as well then. If you've got the time." Hunter said, peering back at the lifeguard schedule pulled up in his browser. "And then there's a guard shift tomorrow that needs to be covered actually. If you wanted to run through the test right now-"

"Oh, uh..." Seth hesitated, swallowing. "Maybe, yeah. I haven't been in the pool at all yet… I dunno how great it'll go."

"You can take some time to warm up," Hunter said pointedly, his dark eyes set. "We can always do it on Sunday too, but it would be really helpful if we could get that shift covered."

Seth sort of wanted to object, purely because he was still upset about Hunter and Stephanie's poor managerial skills regarding his promotion. But truthfully, Seth did just want to get the whole thing over with, sure that he would feel better when he was approved. It was a little daunting though, as he sat in the men's locker room, sliding swim trunks back onto his legs that hadn't been in the pool in months. Swimming in the Key's had gone alright, but Seth hadn't swam any long distances during his vacation, just treading water and wading for snorkelling. The lifeguard test had some time restrictions.

Resigning himself to whatever happened, Seth pulled his hair tie tighter to his head and rinsed off in the shower before making his way down to the lap pool. Drew Mcintyre was guarding the water, and Seth sighed, surveying the lanes to see if he couldn't find a vacant one. As Drew passed, Seth avoided his eye contact, stooping down to slide into lane five and hissing a little from the cold. 

It only took a few kicks to remember how much he really  _ liked _ swimming. Water filled his ears and little air bubbles trailed off of his beard as Seth kicked, staring down at the bottom of the pool through his goggles. Everything was suddenly quiet. The dull splashing of other swimmers barely audible as he tipped his head to the side to gather air. For someone who had competed all through his childhood and hardly ever let his hair dry out, the motions were more or less ingrained in Seth's arms and legs. 

However, his heart and lungs definitely had some adjusting to do and after seventy five meters, Seth groaned with exasperation as he flipturned early against the wall, hardly able to streamline his stroke as his kicking slowed. His body sank slightly and when he finished 100 meters, he paused, panting a little and pushing up his goggles. 

It maybe wasn't as bad as he thought it would be, but it was still disheartening to find his body  _ different _ . Where Seth obviously knew he wasn't quite as cut and defined as he had been at the peak of his CrossFit routine, he couldn't have gauged the level of which his conditioning had deteriorated. As he breathed, he sighed again, realizing his heart rate wasn't comfortably sinking back down. Striding back and forth in the shallows, Seth paused when he saw Hunter come onto the deck, holding the rubber brick and a stopwatch.

" _ Great _ ," Seth laughed sourly.

The 200 meters in under five minutes wasn't impossible, but treading water for two minutes immediately afterwards was the most difficult it had ever been. Hunter hovered over the pool with his stopwatch, impassive to the difficulty as Seth bobbed up and down, kicking furiously as his legs burned. Even when he was entirely healthy, the test hadn't been easy. Now, several months out from his knee surgery, Seth started to panic in the last thirty seconds, watching the lane clock on the wall, desperate.

"Time," Hunter grunted at the end of the test. Seth grasped at the wall frantically and breathed hard, coughing a little. Drew watched from his guard's chair, smirking. But Seth's annoyance grew the most when Roman came in, wearing his street clothes, peering around.

"I'll be done in a bit," Seth called to Roman hoarsely, wishing his boyfriend would just go sit in the observation area if he was going to wait. He coughed again and Roman waved, walking to Stephanie's office and opening the door, apparently multi-tasking.

"Ready for the brick?" Hunter asked, looking to Seth skeptically as he rubbed his eyes. Honestly, Seth knew he  _ wasn't _ and he blinked hard, stalling for time.

"Let me get a drink quick," he said breathlessly, heaving himself out with the ladder. Hunter stepped back so he wouldn't get wet, and Seth trotted across the deck, dripping water and searching for his water bottle stupidly, forgetting where he'd put it. Roman re-emerged from Stephanie's office holding some envelopes and he smiled wide as Seth passed him.

"You can take as long as you need, I just needed to grab my pay stubs," his boyfriend grunted, sitting down on one of the benches that patrons put their towels on. "You doin' it? You doin' the test?"

" _ Bombing _ it," Seth said pessimistically. Really, he was doing fine thus far, as the test was a pass fail and he'd completed the first two portions. Roman sighed, shrugging and trying to keep smiling as he sighed. 

"It's a good workout though at least, yeah?" Roman offered. Seth shrugged, grabbing his water bottle from under his towel and guzzling cool water. "Isn't that what you said you were gonna do anyway?"

There wasn't any use arguing and Seth didn't want to be a dick, so he simply walked away, taking slow steps back to his lane where Hunter was waiting. His boss tossed the rubber brick into the deep side and stepped forward, watching it's progress as it quickly skated to the bottom of the pool. Seth needed to swim from the shallows, retrieve the brick without goggles, and swim with the weight on his chest back down to the shallow side. All in under a minute and thirty seconds. 

Historically, it was always one of the harder parts of the test, and Seth swallowed hard, jerking his goggles off his face. In his mind, he couldn't stop thinking about how he would fail  _ spectacularly  _ right in front of Roman. It was obvious that he wasn't going to succeed if Seth kept telling himself it was useless, but he was hardly capable of cheering himself on at the moment. As Seth slid into the pool again, he was conscious of his rounder hips and his fuzzy legs, as well as the surgery scar that was mostly hidden by his leg hair. Whatever his physical therapist had said, it wasn't as though he was  _ the same _ again.  _ Why didn't he just tell Hunter no? _

"Ready?" His boss asked, watching Seth prepare. He put one arm on the wall and staggered his legs, preparing to kick off. Taking a few breaths, Seth flexed the quad on his right knee, trying to relax. After a curt nod, Hunter began to count him down and Seth stopped himself from looking to where Roman was observing, passive and judgement free.

On 'one' Seth sprang forward, kicking furiously in order to get to the deep end as fast as possible. Hunter followed from land, keeping track of his progress as he jetted forward, blinking hard to keep the chlorine from burning his eyes. It would be a difficult task to get the brick on the first go, so Seth moved quickly to get himself directly over the little black weight, finding his target. 

The first time, he tried to make his way down feet first, thrusting his arms over his head and coasting to the bottom of the floor, but he couldn't quite get down fast enough and he was winded from the sprint. Out of air, Seth kicked back to the top and gasped hard, not opening his eyes. When he descended again, he went headfirst, kicking with much more efficiency as he found the floor of the pool in a few moments. 

Everything was blur under the water and Seth squinted, feeling around, trying to get a hold of the brick. His fingers couldn't grasp properly when he tried to resurface and he actually dropped the damn thing, yelling  _ FUCK _ loudly under the water, unable to contain himself. 

"You're at a minute-ten," Hunter said loudly when he resurfaced again without the brick. Desperate, Seth descended once more with hardly any air in his lungs. He grasped around, trying to find where he'd dropped the brick, but not before he began to feel dizzy, kicking his way back up to the surface, resigned. 

"Well…" Hunter muttered, his tired face looking more detached than properly annoyed or disheartened. "You could probably do it correctly if you slowed down a little. You nearly had it."

Seth didn't say anything, holding onto the wall and breathing hard. The brick was still resting at the bottom of the pool, rippling on the surface, creating an optical illusion. With one deep breath, Seth pushed himself down again, intent on at least grabbing the brick, even if he didn't pass the test. Just to frustrate him, the brick found his finger's on the first try and Seth resurfaced to toss the weight back onto the deck. Hunter looked at his phone for a moment, apparently distracted.

"I'll try tomorrow or somethin'," Seth breathed hard, wiping his eyes again. Hunter's cheek twitched and he nodded, mumbling something like ' _ good try anyway _ ' before going back to his office with the brick. Pissed off and exhausted, Seth feebly hoisted himself out of the pool, hardly able to think as he was still trying to get his breath back. 

"I always hated doin' that part," Roman mumbled as he approached with Seth's towel, handing it to him before offering Seth his water bottle. Seth just shook his head. "Didn't matter how many times I did it, I always felt like I was gunna run out of air."

Seth coughed into his towel, his mind completely blank as his ears were full of water. It was the first time he'd failed the test before and all he could be grateful for was how the physicality of the test had left him too tired to really care. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Took last week off to get some more work done. So tumblr's going down the tubes. Do we have an exit strategy for that? I don't think I'm going to make a twitter for my fanfic. I dunno. What are the options?
> 
> Next chapter, Seth and Dean will go bowling and Seth will get a little break from it all. Review and let me know what you're thinking- I'd like to get a steady supply of chapters coming out what with the holidays and all. Folks need a break sometimes and I like that my fic can be a nice distraction. 
> 
> <3 Strykelass

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know if you have any specifics on things you'd like to see in this fic! I have plans for the length and general points I want to hit, but can always make room for a great idea.
> 
> Follow me on tumblr // safty.tumblr.com
> 
> Want to reread a specific part of this fic but blanking on the chapter name? I've made an index for you to find your favorite parts! [Check it out!](http://safty.tumblr.com/totherescueindex)


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